life is like a penis, short but feels long when it's hard.

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How do you make Al Gore cry? Kill his daughter.

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What the best part of having sex with twenty-eight year olds? Theres 20 of them.

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Two penguins are sitting on an ice flow. One says to the other: "hey--you know, it looks like you are wearing a tuxedo." The other one says, "who says I'm not?"

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A man took a police officers gun and threw it at a baby in a stroller. He went to jail.

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Q- what's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A- you take of your shoes to jump on a trampoline

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What did the penguin say to the tiger? I'm in the wrong country.

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roses are red violets are blue i forgot what i was gonna say my dad is an engineer

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A white guy drives to Home Depot in order to get supplies for remodeling his kitchen. He notices a few Mexicans standing around outside. He decides to go to to Lowe's instead.

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Man walks into an apple store. Shortly after he leaves with a fully charged phone.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Nothing, we eat pizza and we respect Jews.

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Lizzy doesnt shave or shower. She just went to the bathroom in the middle of the school hallway

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Me, myself, and I walked into a bar. We didn't say anything to each other because I'm not schetsophrenic.

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I have a phone, Don't know where it's at, Forever Alone FAPFAPFAP

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Why cant Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles read? Because they are blind you racist.

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what happened to the chicken that crossed the road? it got hit by a taco truck

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have you seen Helen Keller's bird house? neither has she

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What do you call a horse standing alone in an empty field? Tesco's own Beef Lasagne.

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what did one toilet say to the other toilet? i would love to flush u

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Why does the little boy play video games all the time? Because he is socially awkward and has no friends.

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what happened to the black guy after he turned off the light? he probably wanted to save energy, so he moved to a different room with natural sunlight as a light resource.

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what do you call a child with bruises on his face? Child protective services.

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What's better than four dead babies in one trashcan? Nothing. Those babies could have grown up to be new heads of state or even the doctor who discovers the cure for cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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