Why did the duck cross the road? Hurricane Katrina

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What did the man do when he was tired Nothing he went to bed

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your mom is so ugly that she is still a virgin, you don't exist you are just a figment of my imagination.

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I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

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Roses are red Violets are purple. I just realized that nothing rhymes with "Purple".

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Rose are red, Violets are blue Your cat is dead Turkey

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your car repossessed.

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What did the little boy with cancer get for christmas? Nothing. He was a jew. Jew's don't celebrate christmas.

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Q: Why is asprin white? A: It works.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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A Hispanic man, an African woman, and a Caucasian man walk into a bar. No one wins this round of "Racial Equality Appreciation Day's" game of limbo.

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Now this bible thing, is a real anti joke so get ready to have your faith tested, and overcome it: There was that story where God charged against an army at the top of some mountains, the army is told to have been led with God personally at the front rank right? But they lost because the enemy had horse wagons (you know what I mean) made of steel or iron, (does not matter what it is if you ask yourself really) I mean even if it was Metatron, he would have had uh... Wings or something to even the odds, Maybe God is like Raiden from Mortal Kombat, he needs to become a Mortal in order to enter fights on earth... MORTAL KOMBAAAT! I mean God made humans humans made Sin (gotta say we get the blame for a lot of shit others did, I hate apples and cant even stand the smell of them for once, never ate one)

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How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? Well none today because today is Saturday... maybe tomorrow

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How do you kill a black man wearing a bullet proof turbin? Shoot him anywere other then his turbin.

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Q: Why can't Micheal J Fox draw a perfect circle? A: Because drawing a perfect circle is impossible for any human. Actually a perfect circle doesn't exist.

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Roses are red, My name is Dave, This joke is pointless, microwave.

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What happened to the boy after he ate a piece of Halloween candy? He died. It was laced with cyanide.

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Hey, you know what would be funny? A joke.

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why was the boy sad he had a frog stapled to his face

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when two guys walk in somewhere late together you say. hay perv hay ert.

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A man walks into a bar. He bumps his head on the iron and has headaches for a week.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is blind and death, making her oblivious of her surroundings and would be a danger to fellow commuters. -mac

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how do you make lady gaga cry you poke here face then rape here.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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