Friend: "Hey man! Did you hear about the kid who bought the last hamster at the pet shop? Other friend: "No..." Friend: "Oh, well he shot himself last night."

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The kid next door was running around shouting spells and carrying a wand. ''I bet you'd love to be like Harry Potter!'' I told him. ''Yes!'' he exclaimed. So I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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Knock Knock The homeowner's acquaintance had called him just minutes prior because he had forgotten something at his house. With this having occurred, the homeowner had a strong sense of who was at the door. Being a cautious person however, he checked his prediction by examining the man through the door's peephole. Having asserted that it was what he had in mind, the homeowner opened the door and handed him some papers that were of importance to the acquaintance.

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whats worse than 10 dead babies nailed to one tree? 10 living babies nailed to one tree

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How do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

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What did the homosexual say to the purse walking down the street? - I'm a homosexual.

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What's the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? The wheelchair

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what do you get when you cross a bulldog with a shitshu? a puppy.

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What do you call two lesbians in a canoe? Women.

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What is funnier than 24? The fact that you think numbers are funny?

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What do you call a black guy that feeds children? A waiter

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Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't eat your friends Nose it is!

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KARMA KARMA KARMA KARMA CHAMELEON

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What was the blind man doing before he was strangled? He was breathing.

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iPhone's. Amirite? That's not even an anti-joke. Just a joke.

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What does shit and fire have in common? Hitler gave both to jews.

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moonshine most none americans think its just when the moon shines we have another story

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Haikus are simple but sometimes they don't make sense refrigerator.

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Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree? Because it was attached to the first elephant. Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To suck my dick

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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A Jew and a Neo-Nazi meet in a bar. They put aside their differences and enjoy a few rounds of drinks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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