Why did the cow die? Because we need meat

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A priest, a rabbi and a captain are in a sinking ship. The rabbi says let's save the children. The captain says f*ck the children. The priest days do we have time.

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What is the difference between a dog and a North Korean tank. When I see a dog I think wow, what a cute dog. When I see a North Korean tank I run away screaming, as do many others, and I hope the marines come and save us.

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What happened when the black man approached a dinosaur? Nothing, for dinosaurs were eradicated from the face of the earth 135 million years ago.

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Q. How do you make an oil lamp turn off? A. Break it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Mind your own business.

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i once thought i could do crytal meth but then i thought naw better not

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what's brown and sticky? a turd.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, monkey do. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What did the lion say to the octopus? Nothing, lions can't talk, and even if they did the chances of a lion and octopus meeting are very slim.

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Why did the woman not make her husband a sandwich? Because he died in 9/11

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A man walks into a bar. The other two ducked, and then immediately called an ambulance.

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Why couldn't the boy hide his penis? Circumcision.

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Person 1: Ask me if I'm a truck? Person 2: Are you a truck? Person 1: No.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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What's the difference between a lamp?

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How do you confuse a blonde? Inform her that she is an illegitimate child resulting from a vicious, torturous rape and that her mother will never truly love her.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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What do grass and deer have in common? They're both green I lied about the deer

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A man walks into a bar, he asks if the bartender knows where Starbucks is. The bartender finds this exceptable and shows him the way.

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why was the white girl not wanting to have a baby with her boyfriend he was black

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Do you know mirror has 6 letters and half of then are r's?

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Your mother is so fat. We are all extremely concerned for her health.

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What is Ash gray Battleship gray Black Blue-gray Cadet gray Charcoal Cool gray Davy's gray Payne's gray Gunmetal Silver Slate gray Taupe Purple taupe Medium taupe Rose quartz Taupe gray Timberwolf WhiteApple green Asparagus Bright green Cal Poly Chartreuse Dark olive green Dark spring green Dartmouth green Fern green Forest greenGreen Green-yellow Harlequin Honeydew Hunter green India green Islamic green Jungle green Lawn green LimePhthalo green Pigment green Pine green Pistachio Sea green Shamrock green Spring bud Spring green Teal Yellow-greenAlice blue Aqua Aquamarine Celeste Cerulean Cyan Electric blue Jungle green Magic mint MintAir Force blue Air superiority blue Alice blue Azure Baby blue Bleu de France Blue Blue-gray Bondi blue Brandeis blueAmethyst Byzantium Cerise Eggplant Fandango Fuchsia Heliotrope Indigo Lavender blush Lavender (floralblack gray silver white maroon red purple fuchsia green lime olive yellow navy blue teal aqua a List that you just spent 5 min reading

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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