Knock knock! Who's there? Dick! Dick who? Dick Stewart, your neighbor from next door!

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There once was a mountain climber. He loved to climb mountains. He had climbed all of the world's tallest peaks...except Mount Everest. So, one day he decides to climb Mount Everest. He takes weeks and weeks to prepare himself. He trains and trains three times a day till he thinks he is ready to climb Mount Everest. Climbing up it takes forever. It feels like it has been days in the dreary cold. Finally, he reaches the peak. It is a glorious occasion. On the way down, a huuuuge storm rolls in. He falls down a cliff and breaks both of his legs. The pain is unbearable. He screams and screams but no one hears him. Finally after what seems like days, a group of monks find him and carry him to their monastery. Chapter Two Once the man wakes up he thanks the monks for saving his life. They give him a room, food, and nice clothes. Every night in his room, he hears a banging behind his dresser. It is really loud and he is quite annoyed by it. The next morning he asked the head monk what the noise is. The head monk says " I cannot tell you, you aren't a monk." He hears the banging noise every night. HE asks the head monk every morning but he always says he cant tell him because he isn't a monk. So the climber decides to become a monk. After years and years of training to become a monk, he finally becomes one. Chapter Three So he says to the head monk, " I am a monk, so now can you tell me?" The head monk replies, " I can't tell you, but i can help show you. So he pushes the drawer back and reveals a little door, He gives the man a lantern and says to go through it. The man goes through the door into a little, dark tunnel, eager to finally find out what the noise was. He crawls for what seems like hours and hours and hours and days and days and days and days. He finally gets to the door where the banging noise is and opens the door. What he sees amazes him. Do you want to know what the banging noise was? I cant tel you, you aren't a monk!

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Mohamed is driving a taxi to the airport at 20mph How many pounds of explosives are strapped to his chest?

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identical jokes get different votes.

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What did the alien say to the other alien? It's hard to say. They could use an inefficient form of aural analog communication, or a hyper-advanced form of telepathy. Either way, modern science hasn't brought us far enough to determine.

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- I was at my house last night - I was at your MOM'S house last night... I'm her neighbor, she was having trouble with her plumbing and I thought i should help out

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How can you make a little boy tell the truth? Threaten to murder his family.

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What did michael say to sam? (pedo face) YEH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Whats worse then Justin Bieber? It's a trick question, there's is nothing worse than her

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how much wood could a wood chuck chuck? 3

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Romeo and Juliet both die at the end of the book. HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHA i just screwed you guys over.

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What's the same between a school bus and a grape? They're both purple. Except for the bus.

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A teenage girl walks into a dark alley. She emerges on the other side completely unharmed.

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot

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Why wasn't the man wearing a life vest? Because he was sleeping.

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I used to be an adventurer like you, Then I settled down in a quiet place in the woods with a girl and raised a family.

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What's a ghost's favorite color? Usually whatever their favorite color was in life.

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

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A man walks into his house only to find someone in the livingroom touching the stereo. He then goes up to his wife, and kisses her.

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Q: Whats worse than finding 10 babies in a trash can? A: Finding 1 baby in 10 trash cans!

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Why did the Jew post a free link on his Facebook wall? Because it is funny and he hoped his friends would like it.

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How do you kill Glenn Campbell? Stab him with a screwdriver.

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Roses are red,violets are blue you want me but i dont want you!

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How does a cow does a cow do an evil laugh?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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