- Anti Joke

What Makes Me Smile? Face Muscles.

Why was the kid crying? Cause he had a frog stapled to his face.

what do we want a cure for turrets! when do we want it C U NT !!!

How did the little boy get down from the top of the empire state building... He took the elevator

A man rubs a magic lamp nothing happens

theres no I in Intelligence a.w. j.p.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He removes the piece of lingerie from his face and continues shopping for clothes.

A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim walk into a bar. I don't know what happens next, I got the fuck out of there before shit went down

Did you hear about the elderly bank robber? Me neither.

Hillo, its Spodermen, teiling u i fuked ur bich.

A married man, just realizes that his wife is cheating on him while he's away. But just to make sure, he goes into a spy shop to look for a camera to look in on his wife while he's not there. so he goes up to the shop keeper and asks " do you have any video camera's that record in on any place in a house?" the shop keeper says no and the man walks out of the store.

A stripper walks into a bar, she proceeds to cry because she's an alcoholic and a stripper. Meanwhile, her 3 children sit at home hungry. She then goes home, and grabs her gun and shoots her children, then shoots herself. Bucket.

why did the man drop his ice-cream cone? He had no fingers, he lost them in Vietnam while he was protecting our country

why was the man a redneck? because he got sunburned at the nascar race.

One scientist is talking to another scientist. One say "what's the matter?" The other replies "my family is dead"

What do you call a guy who set's pancakes on fire? Mentally confused, and in need of a psychiatrist.

adam hodgson !

Dan O'Driscoll

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

A jewish lady is cleaning a house to make some extra money. Its great that she can still find work in this economy.

Roses are Orange Violets are Green I'm Colorblind..

What happened when the kid tried to hang himself? He was overweight, so the ceiling fan that the rope was tied to fell out of the ceiling. When he explained this to his drunk mother when she got home, she reinforced the fact that he was overweight (his low self esteem was the root of his depression) and beat him. The next day, he just chugged antifreeze. This isn't a true story. Just calm down.

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The cow went moo

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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