What did Billy get for christmas? Nothing he died of lung cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what did the boy say to his mum when he got home from school nothing he has no tongue

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's worse than finding a hair in your sandwitch? Finding a dead baby in your salad!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

thumb_up thumb_down +28

who sells coke and ruins lives? Vagina Parker

thumb_up thumb_down -14

the person above me ^ lost his virginity to a howler monkey and the person below me was his gay friend untill he found out about his recent run in with a howler monkey and does not wish the same fait as he does.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road? I doubt it thought much about this. The chicken is a simple animal, and i doubt its actions were spurred by any particular motivation.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the blind man say to the bartender? Nothing, I forgot to mention he's also mute and has no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Katlin Poladian liked her own status again.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

hi

thumb_up thumb_down -17

So God answered a paralyzed boy's prayer the other day...He said 'No'

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Whats the fastest way to a man's heart?? Saw through his breastplate.

thumb_up thumb_down +73

What did the camera man say when the actor took off his pants? Why did you take off your pants?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why couldn't Jimmy have his birthday party at the park? Because little Jimmy passed away several months ago from the result of a vicious genocide committed by a man who didn't properly understand the affect that maiming human beings has on the friends and family members of the person; he was sentenced to jail for a fair and reasonable time for the punishment of the crime he committed in the past.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Do u know what would be a big pain in the ass? A thorn

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Her hair was fine, her scent was great, now show me your fucking ****.......please

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man went in for a doctors appointment and said, "Doc, it hurts when I do this." The doctor responded, "Try to abstain from from putting stress on that area. It might alleviate the pain a bit."

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Hi, this is Luke. Luke, I am your father. I burned my father's body after he died saving my life on a large space station. You're not my father, stop calling.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

why are niggers afraid of the dark ? because they think that darkness is the only black thing there

thumb_up thumb_down +14

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's red and has a mask ? Blood, I lied about the mask.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is the difference between a Mexican and a bike? they both get hit by cars in shady neighborhoods, like Copiague, New York

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q. Why did the middle-aged man need glasses? A. The man's father had poor eyesight and therefore could not see well without the help of glasses.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

I know what makes young boys "explode" -dynamite

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops