I'm off to my tank guys!

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What would you call the flinstones if they were black? Ni**gers

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Now that I'm of age to go clubbing, I feel sorry for the seals.

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Why did the woman cross the road? She didn't. They are no roads in the kitchen.

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a guy walks into a bar. he suffered a severe concussion. BECAUSE THE BAR A POLE

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A man and his family walk into a talent agent's office. The man proceeds to sexually accost his wife and children. The agent calls security who escort the family out and helps the wife find a domestic violence shelter to stay at.

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When life gives you lemons ....go murder a clown.

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Here's a little diddy I wrote for One Direction: Now One Direction, don't forget that we all know About the antics that you pull at your own live shows Like you take your own lyrics and give 'em a swerve Now they either make no sense or make you sound like pervs And Liam, why you swiping cameras and phones? What you need a girl's number cause you're crusin alone? And another thing, it's a frickin spoon for God's sake What did this thing impale your puppy with a giant frickin stake? And so One Direction, we now all think That in about a year, y'all are gonna go N*SYNC and disappear cause N*SYNC isn't around any...aw you know!

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Why did the black man jump off the cliff? He was in a spiraling depression due to recently being laid off at work, his troubled home life, and the recent death of his sister.

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead.

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How many morman minutes does it take to get to school? A lightyear

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Why was the boy wearing pyjamas? It was his bed time.

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A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Haikus are awesome, but sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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What did the German say the the Jewish man? "Hello, nice to meet you."

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Whats big orange and likes to eat rocks? a big orange rock eater

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Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. They all fall on a small boy below, putting him into a 20-year coma.

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" ding dong " person in side: wait aren't u supposed to knock knock

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What do you call a man in the desert? Whatever his name is.

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What has two arms and two legs? A human being.

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field day?

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Why was the American patriot sad that Bin-Laden was killed? Because he wanted to take him back to America to touture him.

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How do you kill the circus? You chop it's head off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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