How do you get a black man off a swing? ask him.

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the bat mobile? A: Robin get in the bat mobile.

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Why couldn't the ten year old watch a porno movie? Because it was on blu-ray and his family only owned a regular dvd player.

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A Boy went up to his dad and told him he was hungry. His dad then beat him to death.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Some guy stapled it to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A terrorist threw a refrigerator at it. Why did the girl fall off her bike? She was hit by 3 dead monkeys and a refrigerator.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you thro them

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watched pride and prejudice last night. I hate period dramas... too much blood

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nobody move, or i'll kill myself, then her!

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." Then there is silence and a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone the guy says "I shot in the air and my friend heard it and moved. I think he's still alive." The operator says "Good that means he's still breathing and he's not dead."

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what did the homeless man get for christmas hyperthermia

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How do you fit 100 jews in a car? It wouldn't work.. Nevermind.

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Why did the white guy feel awkward at the black people convention? He didn't know anyone there

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alright whoever posted it, like this, then comment your first name

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The funniest thing happened in my dream last night, i dreamed that banks would stop ripping people off and start treating people like humans. How wierd is that :D

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too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game

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what did the black, asian and jew have in common? Believe it or not, they all liked cantoulope.

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What did the black do when a man robbed his house? He called 911

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What do you get when you stab Al with a sword? At

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Why the hell does my sister shower in a swimsuit every time? Its not as if anyone is looking! ALRIGHT! ONCE ALRIGHT? ONLY ONCE! But then she hears the sound of my zipper ONCE and the shit hits the fan! Which is weird, yeah suuure she hears it when I pull it up, but when I pull it down and stroke it and moan? Nada!

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How many blonds douse it take to change a light bulb I dont know it hasn't happened yet

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Two pretzels were walking down the street when one got assaulted...

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple?

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Q: Whats Long, Black and Smells? A: Sh*t

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How do you make a plumber cry? Murder his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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