why did the dog go inside the church? cuz the door was open.

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The early bird gets the worm, but the angry bird gets the pig.

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Why did the racist guy die? Because the black guy stabbed him with a fork.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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How do you punish Helen Keller? Send her to her room until she becomes civil enough to explain what was causing her misbehavior.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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My aunt used to say slow and steady wins the race she died in a fire

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot for Arabian Air, idiot. What were you thinking?

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What happens when you hit a black guy with your car? He is seriously injured.

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What the difference between water and water? Nothing, they're both water.

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knock knock who's there a tiger Alex proceeds to walk away as there is a tiger at his front door. he then calls the police because of the potential danger. the animal control then apprehends the animal and takes it to an enclosure

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Jimmy: Daddy how are babies made? Dad: If i knew how you wouldn't be here...

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Whats worse than 20 dead babies in a garbage can? A: The smell

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What do you call a blonde with one leg? Heather Mills

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What did the Dragonfly say to the Mosquito? Nothing. He ate it.

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Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? a bench is a structure designed for sitting and a Mexican is a person born in Mexico.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Gingers

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Why did no one help him up? Because nobody liked him.

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I kinda said I did not want to know, sooo... Want to meet up tomorrow? Like for realsies? In that case tell me first (then show me tomorrow as proof), your cough... Vagina, I dont care if its shaven or not, but does it have red hair?

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How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch-n-sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

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Q.How many babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb A.Babies are to young to screw in lightbulbs

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What's similar between my butthole and shampoo? They both smell good, except for by butthole.

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your period is red your waffle is blue find a way to fix it or no sex for you!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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