I like my women like I like my coffee.......... I don't like coffee

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4 black people in a car drive of a cliff. the sad thing is there was a extra seat.

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Whats the diffrence between a white and a black guy? one of them is black

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Why was Ray Charles always smiling? because he was a happy guy

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What happens if you an 3ft size olive, a glob of red paint and rainbow colored glue on a table and rub your arm in it? You get olive, red paint and glue on your arm.

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What did the talking muffin say to the other talking muffin? Ah! A talking muffin!

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What's funny about the holocaust? Nothing. Whoever thinks the holocaust is funny is a dick.

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Q. what did voldemort get for christmas that harry potter didnt? A. dinner with his parents

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Whats he difference between a rock and a dead baby? I'm not spemding the rest of my natural life in an insane asylum for eating a rock!

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*Brother comes downstairs wet and naked* Mom: Did you enjoy your shower?

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer was arrested by the ASPCA and PETA for letting the chicken run free near a horribly busy road

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Do you like fishsticks? Yes I personally think they are high in saturated fats, but to each his own Oh I thought you were asking if I was homosexual

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What did the horse say to the cow? Nothing because animals cannot speak.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: a pizza is a food that was created in italy and is regularly eaten daily around the world and a jew is a religion that is constantly criticized and made fun of because they are different.

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I love you. You love me. I killed you're family. No you're an orphan.

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Q: Why are elephants afraid of mice and/or rats? A: Elephants tend to have bad eyesight and startle quite easily?

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Why did the blonde commit suicide? Because she hated her life.

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Why did the elephant die? It was murdered by poachers for it's valuable ivory tusks.

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One time Chuck Norris cried. He felt slightly better after the experience, but, unfortunately, his grandmother still died of cancer.

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Jolly Rancher the particle beam is in the alpha quadrant and we are good to go.Please confirm receipt of this communique. Cell Leader Iqbal

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How do you keep children off your front lawn? You molest them.

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How do you have se with hellen keller? Very sweetly

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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