What did the blind, deaf and mute kid get for Christmas? Cancer

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Why couldnt the man buy food? Because.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wioFUrwny1c

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why does chuck norris not have a middle name? because his parents didn't want him to have one.

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What's the only thing more horrible than trash can full of dead babies? A live one at the bottom. What's more horrible than that? He has to eat his way out. What's more horrible than that? He goes back for more. What's more horrible than that? This all took place in my garage while I was watching.

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Your mom is so fat she weighs significantly higher then most females of her age and height.

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Roses are black, violets are black. I'm Hellen Keller.

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What is 10 inches long and didnt get sucked on valentines day? Whitney Houston's crack pipe.

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guess what my weiner dog did last night? pooped in my bed

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How do you get a black man out of KFC? Tell him to get out

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Did you hear about the cow that could fly? Me either

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver comes into the bar and gulps down the guys drink and the guy starts crying the lorry driver says "dont cry ill buy you another" thee guy sas "it's not that today i woke up late for work and when i got there i got fired and then when i went to go home feeling depressed my car doesnt startand so i walk home and i find my wife in bed with the gardener and so i came here to die but you drank my poison"

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Your mom came to my house last night. We played chess.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting r.aped by a giant scorpion.

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A dog was barking at a tree

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge asked "Mum, why is my name Fridge?" to which she replied "Because you deserve to be in one."

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What's the difference between being gay and being homosexual? Nothing really. The two words are synonyms so they can be used interchangeably.

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Want to here a joke? The First Amendment.

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Why can't the toucann fly anymore? Because they're extinct

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How can you tell Egyptian Bees are tired? When they put down their suitcases and yell "IM Tired!"

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what's worse than a worm in your apple? The Haulocaust. Whats worse than the Haulocaust? Two worms in your apple.

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How do you kill a Chinese hobo Shoot him

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no one walks in to a bar bar tender: shit!

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What is a Mexican's favorite restaurant? While the term "Mexican" encompasses a wide range of individuals and individual predilections, the most common cibarious preference would likely be a food that is reminiscent of his or her homeland; that is, what we refer to as Mexican food. An authentic nearby joint sporting such provisions would likely be the most common preference, but, as this description can only be traced on the local scale, a specific restaurant that covers a wider range of locations would be a more appropriate answer. Among the top choices are Taco Time and Taco Del Mar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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