why did the 42 inch plasma screen blow-up 6 hours before the england match ? because it knows .

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Knock Knock! Who's there? I don't remember the rest of the joke but your mom's a whore.

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You say: Why did the chicken cross the road? Response: Why? (or some other answer to a different joke) You say: To get to your house! Knock, knock. Response: Who's there? You say: The CHICKEN!!!!

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A drum and a cymbal fall off a cliff...

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man: im hungry can i have a sandwich wife: go make one man: then what are you gonna do

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Alan: My Grandfather was in the SS and has a leather jacket made jews he killed. Me: Really? Alan: No, i'm korean. My grandfather wouldnt be allowed into the SS.

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one time, a fancy business man walked into a bar. but then he figured out that he wasnt supposed to be there. so he politely apologized to the mortician an and he granted him permission to exit the closet.

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to boys are playing football 1 ses pass tje over ses pass wot

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What do friends and potatoes have in common? If you eat them, they will die.

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Why did the man have an erection? He had just masturbated.

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Man: "Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?" The waiter shrugs and walks away. The restaurant is subsequently shut down because the man was a health inspector and also found evidence of rodents in the kitchen.

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Tyrone is innocent! I can't wait until Kirsty gets hers!

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What do you call Madeline McCann at the bottom of the sea? Drowned Madeline McCann.

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Q: What do sleeping pills and coffee have in common? A: Absolutely nothing

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An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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knock knock who's there jehovas witness... ...I allow them into my house for a cup of tea and a chat as I respect their religion

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What do you call an African American woman with Tourettes? This question cannot be answered correctly. The African American woman was misdiagnosed. She is really a crack whore.

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Why did the mouse cross the road, and then go down it? It tried to get cheese on the other side, but got hit by a SUV and was stuck to the wheels. The rat on the wheel goes "Squish, Scratch,, Mush........

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Q: what is green and looks like grass. A: fake grass

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How many owls can you fit in a bath tub?

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men jump out, and the plane crashes anyway.

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Your mama's so fat her patronus is a cake!

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Two hunters walk in to the forest. They have a great time ending the lives of defenceless creatures. They go to their respective homes, eat a light dinner, and fall asleep in their beds.

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How many kleptomaniacs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops