q: why won't the asian girl do anything? a: it's pretty hard to move or speak being gagged and tied up in my basement

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had just received a call from his family, hearing that his father had just been butchered. He was approaching the farm when an 18-wheeler approached. The tire flew off, hit a candy store, candy flew in the chicken's mouth, and it died of diabetes. However, right before the chicken died he finally crossed the road, not knowing he would get shot by his farmer. The chicken managed to survive the shooting to his right kidney, wiggled to his family, and died in front of his wife.

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Why did the deaf man ask for directions? He didn't as he knew he wouldnt have a clue what they are on about.

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What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? Pants.

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what do a plum and a rabbit have in common? there both purple except for the rabbit

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What is better than winning the gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded

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Man- Where can I find a book on the holocaust Book keeper- Have you tried comedy? Man- no I havent Book keeper- good it won't be there

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Why didn't the man show up for work on Monday? He gets Mondays off.

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What's green , has 4 legs and if it fell out of tree on you , would hurt you ? A Pool table

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Why did the man mysteriously disappear? Because he was hiding without telling anyone that he was hiding.

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Six Jews get on a train. They all safely arrive at their locations.

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Chuck Norris is so strong, he can probably lift more than 80 pounds

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Doctor, doctor, it hurts when I hit my head with a hammer!! Dont hit your head with a hammer anymore.

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Whats brown and drives people around? A cab driver of south asian decent. Finding a job that alligns with their qualifications and experience is not always possible, so they take up menial jobs to survive and provide for their family.

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an object in motion continues to stay in motion unless acted upon by an external force :)

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Did you hear about the monkey in the tree? Oh no wait. It was a lizard.

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What's the difference between a black businessman and a white businessman? Their skin colour.

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Why didn't Helen Keller have headphones? Because they weren't invented

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How many Nazis does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. Their domestic handiness was not impeded by their warped sense of entitlement and racial superiority.

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why did Sarah fall out of the swing? she had no arms. Knock knock. who's there? not Sarah.

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Jim just got laid off at the office. He believes his life is going to hell, so he commits suicide. His wife then later was blamed for his death because they were having many arguments. She was sentenced to life and slowly rotted in prison for the rest of her life. Their children then are moved around from foster home to foster home and they grow up to be drug dealers.

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You can teach a man to fish but you cant teach a fish to man

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Who let the dogs out? Their owner because he had come to the rational conclusion that they were cooped up in their cage all night and were in serious need of relieving themselves and needed love and affection

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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