What is a dinosaurs favorite chips? Doritos.

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Q: knok knok A: Im home

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knock knock whos there .. derp

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What happened when Mark's hair died? He got depressed that he was growing old and the signs of it were showing.

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Why did the little boy fall down the steps? Because he wasn't a very stable person.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Bond. Bond who? James Bond. na-na NA NA na-na na

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The new Minons film reminds me of most foreign films.. You can't undertand a fucking word they say and they're all yellow

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John: what is blue and goes blub blub Phil; I don't know, what? John: a blue blub blub. What is green and goes blub blub Phil; a green blub blub John: no green blub blubs don't exist, what are you stupid?

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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So two friends walk into a bar. One says to the bartender, "Get me a Miller Lite please." The bartender says, "Sure." The other friend says, "Get me a Cosmopolitan please." The bartender stares at him and says, "That is not the drink I was expecting you to order, but I respect your decision."

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How do you make someone think your wierd? Pretend to be a panda.

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What do you get when a man farts then a giraffe digests the gas and then poops into the mouth of a rabid baby raccoon? A raisin coated in corn flakes with digestive fluid sauce.

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Why is the baby not crying? Because it died of herpes. JUST KIDDING! Babies can't get herpes.

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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I supported my sisters decision to get an abortion. Still would have been cool to be a dad :/

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Q why was John bullied A Becuase he told kids that bullying was a bad and serious problem to get them to stop bullying jimmy unfortunately Jimmy killed himself because he was bullied to much and didn't want to live.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she didn't have woman's rights Knock knock Who's there? NOT Sally, she's in the kitchen

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The fox said to the walrus, "Hatee-hatee-hatee-ho!" And the walrus replied, "Goo-Goo-g'joob".

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Hey guya im a female stripper and if you want to have some fun call me 8633972535 thanks. -Tyler

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Got milk? No.

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http://cache.deadspin.com/assets/resources/2008/04/Deer_mating2.jpg

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daffodils are yellow, Flowers come in lots of colours...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I stole all your jokes, I stole this one too.

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Why can't the T-rex clap? Because it's extinct

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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