Whats big red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater.

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I just started the seafood diet. It consists primarily of eating fish due to its high nutritional content.

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How do you drown a blond? Glue a mirror to the bottom of a pool!

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a Mexican and a black guy were sitting in the back of a car, who is driving? -- a cop

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The frightened girl did everything the man said. " Open your legs. Bend over..." She was playing Simon says and was afraid to loose. It wasn't rape, which her sister had experienced while traveling in 2007.

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What's red and can't find a family? A fire hydrant

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one.

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Why did the football player walk so funny? He went to Penn State!

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what do u get when you cross a monkey, a sock and wheels? A: a sock monkey. I was kidding about the wheels

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Why is facebook ruining all of the world's social skills? Because Mark Zuckerberg has Asperger's.

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What happened when Stephen Hawking tried to go down the stairs? He fell and suffered minor injuries.

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ON THE SEVENTH DAY OF JUNE, THURSDAY HAPPENED!!!! -ilikecrepes97

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Three men are stranded in a small rowboat. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. It became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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A schizophrenic man walks into a bar. He has split personalities and does not realize that he has murdered his family.

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Why did the little girl cry? She lives in Haiti.

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what do you call when a penis is inside a vagina? sex

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Roses are Razzmatazz Violets are Arsenic These colors are weird Cancer.

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What's white and black? Color blind.

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My Japanese girlfriend just broke up with me. It's okay, there's more of them in the sea.

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Why did the plane crash? Because its pilot was a loaf of bread

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who is jacked and looks like a beast? • James Cornish

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whats round red and taste like candy? such a thing doesn't exist

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Two strippers are out of work. So they turn to prostitution.

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How many dislikes can this get?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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