Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What did Stephen Hawkins say to President Obama? He didn't his computer did.

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What is better then fisting? Fisting with a metal studded glove

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Why couldn't the old lady take her Afghan Hound to the vet after the dog had been brutally harassed? She was dead.

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Why did the bus drop a boy holding ice cream? Its driver was not paying full attention on the road and was sentenced 15 years for manslaughter.

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What did the boy ask the ice cream man? Can I have some ice cream?

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Why was the man dress in a suit ? He had a job

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99% of teenagers would cry if they saw justin bieber on the top of a skyscraper, about to jump. However, there is 1% who would be sitting in a lawn chair at the bottom screaming, DO A BACKFLIP!!!

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how many black people can you fit in a car? However many sets there are.

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why did the chicken cross the road to get to the other side

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what do you call a black man with a knife in his hand? a surgeon.

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What was the asian person's name? I don't know, I never met him.

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what's the difference between a crocodile?

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Whats the quickest way to a woman's heart? A bilateral incision on the upper left region of the sternum.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Because the farmer is obviously to stupid to build a proper chicken coop, and thus his chicken is crossing the road and will most likely be hit by a car

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Whats brown and smells bad poo

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Joke: What do you call cheese that's not yours? Nacho Cheese! Anti Joke: What do you call cheese that's not yours? Sally's Cheese

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Sally bought a shakeweight. She is an alcoholic and is ruining her family.

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What did the blonde do when she reached the traffic lights? She stopped, as the lights were red.

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What happend to the boy with no family? he died in a tragic car accident along with his family

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Why did the mexican cross the street? Because the next lawn to mow was in a different neighborhood

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How many retards does it take to change a lightbulb?? None it is physically impossible

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Why is Keven's name spelled with an E Because his parents are black.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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