roses are red violets are too im bleeding

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A man walks into a bar. He proceeds to get intoxicated and then commits a felony.

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Once upon a time there were seven dwarfs. They were named Steven, Jason, John, Peter and Alfred.

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Justin Becnel falls off a tree, what happens? He breaks his neck and unfortunately dies.

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What is a dog's favorite color? Dogs are colorblind and can not see colors.

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If you have 24 hours to live what would u choose to do? I would choose to take stander ised testing b/c it feels like it's forever.

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Two guys walk into a bar, a spanish guy and a black guy. They get some drinks, call a taxi to arrive home safe. And kiss their wives and kids goodnight. They go to bed early after reading a wallstreet journal. And wake up early so they can both go to their jobs as college professors. To white kids.

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Did you hear about the guy with five penises? Me neither, because that sounds like a very improbable aberration.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

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Why couldn't the woman drive? She was dead.

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A black guy, a white guy, and a mexican are on a boat, stranded in the middle of the ocean. Feeling a bit hot due to the above average temperature of an early april afternoon, the white guy and the mexican strip down to enjoy a refreshing dip in the water a few feet from the boat. The black guy, feeling a bit left-out and perhaps even envious at the apparent fun of the other two, speaks up "Hey fellas, do you think one of you could come sit in the boat so it doesn't float away so that maybe I can enjoy the water too?" Hearing this, the white guy and the mexican look at each other utterly astonished. Grasping for a rebuttal, the white guy gathers some courage and says "Do you really think that's a good idea?... You JUST finished your sandwich."

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How did the square become a circle? Due to the period of recession in our nation, it was found necessary to cut corners.

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What do you do when you see a black child riding a bike? Think to yourself, "Wow" you don't see many kids riding bikes anymore because there too busy playing video games in their basement.

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Why did the boy punch a little kid in the face? Because he was a bully and liked to feel superior.

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What has 3 eyes, green fur and blue ears? Nothing.

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A black man and a white man were both pulled over for street racing. They both were also found to be drunk driving. Only the black man was arrested. It turns out the black man had just massacred an entire Amish village before going street racing to celebrate.

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an alien is walking down the street he can't breathe our air and quickly suffocates and dies

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What's the difference between a whore and a blonde? There is not enough information to answer this question.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple getting blow jobed by a giant squirrel

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Why didn't the cat have any legs? Because it was a snake

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If life gives you lemons, Eat them.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? That she should train harder for her next boxing match, or find a less physically demanding hobby to partake in.

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Why did the Flintstones have Christmas? The Flintstones celebrated Christmas because the creator, William Hanna, celebrated it. As it is a kids TV show, you can't expect it to be factually correct.

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how do you get a clown off a swing? hit him with an axe

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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