A man went in for a doctors appointment and said, "Doc, it hurts when I do this." The doctor responded, "Try to abstain from from putting stress on that area. It might alleviate the pain a bit."

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Hi, this is Luke. Luke, I am your father. I burned my father's body after he died saving my life on a large space station. You're not my father, stop calling.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

why are niggers afraid of the dark ? because they think that darkness is the only black thing there

thumb_up thumb_down +14

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the mother give her family for christmas? Nothing. The family is Jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's red and has a mask ? Blood, I lied about the mask.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is the difference between a Mexican and a bike? they both get hit by cars in shady neighborhoods, like Copiague, New York

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q. Why did the middle-aged man need glasses? A. The man's father had poor eyesight and therefore could not see well without the help of glasses.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

I know what makes young boys "explode" -dynamite

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Getting an STD. What's worse than mixing up the order of the joke and the punchline?

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the chicken cross the road Time for you to get a watch

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do you call a black person who just received a bachlors degree from Havard? A very educated human being.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What happened when the child missed his school bus home? He had to take the long 6 mile walk back home and did not return until dinner time.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's got one leg and no eyes? A leg.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell down and bumped his head He suffered a serious concussion and was never the same again.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Whats fuzzy and greenand if it falls from a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why is jim gay? because he likes men

thumb_up thumb_down +42

took my chevy to the levy but the levy was dry

thumb_up thumb_down -13

We were hooking up and her mom walked in, i stood up, apologized and left

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats small, rough, and painful to put in your ass? Sandpaper

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A blind man walks into a bar. He cannot read the drink menu.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Because you killed my Llama. He was my best-friend.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops