What do you do if you are locked inside a car with a baseball bat? Unlock the car

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Person 1: Your Ugly Person 2: Your mom's ugly

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How do you starve a black man? Take away his current food stocks, and means of income.

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What's worse than eating a rotton fruit that makes you sick?? Getting raped by a giant jackalope and then being left for dead in the middle of nowhere and being found by an old pedophile whose van ran out of gas and then running away only to find some water but while you were drinking it you got grabbed and dragged under the water by an octopus who has wandered off many miles from its home and then dying because humans don't have gills

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What did the tractor say to the cow? I'm a tractor, you're a cow, go figure.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Yo momma is so fat tat people yell TAXI, TAXI when she wears yellow.

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what did mohammed say to Jesus? nothing they lived in completly different time periods

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Why couldn't the little boy find his friend in hide and go seek He was blind

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Do You Know You Have Cancer?

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roses are scarce, violets are farse, come over here and i'll stick it up ya ar#e.

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planned on writing you all an antijoke decided i wouldn't.

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I told a woman to make me at turkey sandwich. Of course she complied seeing as I was at Subway.

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the danced cus they were young, they danced cus they were free, but mostly the danced cus they needed to pee

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hipsters

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.sdrawkcab siht gnidaer era ouy ,siht daer nac ouy fI

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A man walks to a baseball game what does he see? Many people

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Why did the fortune cookie taste bad? I forgot to take the wrapper off.

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Why didn't God show up to Jesus' bar mitzvah? Because he doesn't exist.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm using my hand but thinking of you.

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What do you call a cannibal who won't eat his own brother? A pussy.

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What do you call a hickey on your shoulder? Bad aim -Cooper Simpson

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Listen Erron, what`s wrong? I would have told you to go fuck yourself if it where not for the fact that AzureDragon just left for the cafeteria and is nowhere to be seen.

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one day a boy asked a Manican if it had a pulse it didn't

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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