ill take a bullet for you... on call of duty... nahhh that ruins my kd

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what is the difference between 10 and 3 7

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What do you call an animal that is blue, fluffy and lives in the arctic? I don't know and that's why I'm asking you.

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What happens when you lay a diamond in the water for two hours? It gets wet.

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What happens when you shoot a priest in the heart? He dies.

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Type better antijokes above

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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Knock Knock Who's There? A rapist

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead

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Why did the blonde buy a condom? Because she had a penis.

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What did the Turkey say on Thanksgiving? Gobble gobble.

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Whats wrong with me? Your alive.

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Several men are in a bar a tall white man named James orders a round of shots for all of the people they all have a fun time untill James gets into a car with Derrick who is not sober they drive right into a sick childrens hospital and cause many frantic wild fires throughout the town. They all end up in jail for an unrelated cause

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Knock Knock whose there brian Brian who oh because im chinese you assume my second name is Hu? terribly sorry theres been a misunderstanding, i was asking you surname, i should have been more specific! No it my fault, i dont know why i overreacted my second name is Hu its ok, what can i do for you? is it allright to come in for some noodles? are you paying? only a reasonable price ok then, dont see why not

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mom theres a naked old man outside my window and he stole dads ladder.

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Why dose not the cat bark? Because it's a cat!

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? (Other): "Because the P is silent." Because they're extinct.

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Q. did u see Stevie wonders new house A. no me. neither did he

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How do you make a little girl laugh. You tell her something funny.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza does'nt scream in the oven

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Why don't you have a seat, over there?

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i wish i was a tree !

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What's Chris Benoit up to? Just hangin'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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