what's the fastest way to have someone murder you tell your wife you are cheating on her

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What has a pie and my hand got in common? It's got meringue on it.

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Q: How many licks does it take to the center of a tootsie pop? A: At least one.

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What do you call a boy with no arms or legs? Chris

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How did Moses make his tea? He steeped the tea leaves for around 5 minutes in hot water.

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whats brown and smells like poop? poop.

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Did you hear the joke about the Israeli guy with the cruise missile down his pants? Me neither. I hope it's a good joke.

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A blind man, a black man and a rabbi walk into a bar. The blind man trips violently.

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I went to a magic show and the magician asked for my watch... He took the watch and then produced a doughnut... Guess what was in the doughnut? JAM!

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What do you call a guy with a rainbow tuxedo on? A classy man that is very well dressed

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

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A Horse walks into a bar and the barman says 'What with the long face?' and the horse replys 'i'm a f*cking horse.'

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because seven threatened to murder his family

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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ARGH! LADY THAT SNAKE BIT MY PECKER! YOU HAVE TO SUCK THE POISON OUT NOW! OMG SURE, err...Meh, thats not a poisonous snake... Oh... dammit! I mean phew! Ouch ouch ouch!

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Q: How do you do to get an elephant down from a tree? A: Wait for the fall when the leaves start falling you shoot it down.

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Your mother is so ugly that people make yo mamma jokes about her

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After a long day on the movie set, Lindsay Lohan decides to go out to a bar. She gets really drunk and high on drugs and some guy takes her back to her trailer and stuffs her muffin.

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what do you call a black man in a police car? either officer or offender, depending on what role he has in the crime.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 killed 9.

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What body part did German prince Heinrich von Missingpenis lack? His toenail.

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How do you keep children off your front lawn? You molest them.

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womens rights

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. At what point would a chicken consciously know it was crossing a road.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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