What do you get when you cross a polar bear and a vampire? A Vampire Polar Bear.

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how do you get a happy man to stop smiling? hit him in the face repeatedly untill he is dead.

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What do call a spoon that doesn't work? Broken.

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Josh kissing a girl

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"One day this man walks out of his house to go to work. He sees this snail on his porch. So he picks it up and chucks it over his roof, into the back yard. Snail bounces off a rock, cracks its shell all to ****, and lands in the grass. Snail lies there dying. But it doesn't die. It eats some grass. Slowly heals. Grows a new shell. And after a while it can crawl again. One day the snail up and heads back to the front of the house. Finally, after a year, the little guy crawls back on the porch. Right then, the man walks out to go to work and sees this snail again. So he says to it, 'What the f uck's your problem?'" -Training Day

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A blind guy and a priest walk into a bar

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Three guys walk into a club, one is a fat ugly chode face bastard, the second one is a 4 foot 2 cricket champion and the third is a handsome young man.

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What do you call a Jew picking up a quarter? Whatever his name is?

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Imagine yourself in a box with no windows and no doors. How do you get out? Stop imagining.

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Real Joke: The US Air Force operates Seymour Johnson Air Force Base. It is named for a seaman. Go look it up.

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What's worse than having but sex and finding out you have aids? Knowing that the person you had sex with was dead

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? I did too, he worked hard for four years, partied in moderation, but graduated with a degree in chemical engineering and became very successful in the business world in order to support his wife and two children.

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How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth? With a blender. How do you get them out? Nachos (make a dipping and snacking motion).

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What time is it? Actually, that sentence is grammatically wrong: what is IT?

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Identical jokes get different amounts of votes

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Q: what did the hot dog say to the hamburger A: i want your buns

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why did the chicken cross the road? because chickens just walk places. they have no agenda.

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you know what rhymes with sloth. rape

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What does a person and a tree have in common? You can knock them down if you hit them repeatedly with an axe.

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what did the black guy say to the other black guy? good morning

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What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

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96

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Why was the man like a chimp? Because they are 96% genetically identical.

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A black man walks Into a bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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