how do you make a janeter cry, you shit on the floor

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What did the man say to g**guy we are both g**

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme Others just don't

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There once was the worlds most important people on an airplane. All of them. They were a Boy Scout with a hiking pack, World's Oldest person, World's Smartest person, a Scientist who had the cure to cancer, and the World's Richest man. The Pilot told them that the plane was running out of gas and they would have to bail. But there was a problem, two people were going to have to die. They were only two parachutes short. So the Scientist grabbed one and said, "I'm the only one with the cure to cancer I've got lives to save." And he bails. Then the World's oldest person jumps out with a parachute saying, "I Still Have A Life To Live!!!" Then the Richest person realizes there is two parachutes left. He says, "I have the most money so I have to go because I could save America from going bankrupt." Grabs a chute and jumps. Then, the world's smartest person just happens to be so selfish and bails with the last Parachute. So the Pilot and and the Boy Scout were left. The pilot was kind enough to let the Kid go because he still had he longest life to live. But the kid said no, we could both go. The pilot said no you go. The kid was still being stubborn. And said No, we could both go, The world's smartest person took my back pack, there is one chute left, we could share it. And so they both jumped and landed safely on the ground. And that was the end of the World's smartest man.

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this website is the funniest thing i've ever seen, besides everything i've seen that's funnier than it

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He didn't, he died in the middle of this task.

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Why was the boy in a wheelchair raising money to buy a basketball uniform? Because wheelchair basketball is a popular sport

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Presents.

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? He has retinopathy of prematurity and was born blind.

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Q: What do you get when you get a bunch of people who confuse dark humor for anti humor? A: This website.

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What's worse than a papercut? Dying

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did a second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did a third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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wanna hear a joke? not really

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Rawan what are you looking at, stop reading this

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What's black and red? I black guy bleeding to death

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Why did the little kid use pillows at night? Because he was constipated.

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Your Mamas So Fat That When She Jumped Into The Ocean All The Whales Swam Around And Started Sinqinq (We Are Family Even Though Your Fatter Than Me.)xD

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A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender stands speechless due to the ridiculousness of the situation -Tag

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What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a red sports car? A red sports car was never a living organism.

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What is the way to a woman's heart? Through her chest cavity.

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how do you get 20 people in a mini? open the door would be a good start but i dont think they will all fit.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sausage is brown, and so is my wife.

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A man is about to rape a girl. Before penetration he carefully and correctly applies a condom as he practices safe sex and is not yet ready to father a child.

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If an ice cream van goes out of business, who drove the Jeep into the furniture store? To get to the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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