Q: Why can't a tomato fly a plane? A: Cuz it's a tomato

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Whats better then having 10 fingers Having 11

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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What do you call a black person pimping out his bitches? a dog breeder.

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Yo momma is so fat, that she is not able to wear the clothes she wore the previous year.

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What did the African want for breakfast? Ebola cereal

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OH NO, ZOMBIES!!!!!!!!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The parking lot was across the street from KFC.

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knock knock. who's there? Kony. Kony who? Kony says:" Uganda be abducted"

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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What's The Difference Between A Refridgerator And The Holocaust ? Not Much.

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What do a duck and an elephant have in common? They're both yellow. Except for the elephant.

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Why did the squirrel fall out the tree? It was dead Why did the second squirrel fall out the tree? It was stapled to the first squirrel Why did the the third squirrel fall out the tree? Peer pressure Why did the fourth squirrel fall out the tree? It thought it was a game Why did the tree fall over? It thought it was a squirrel Why did the postman die? He got hit in the head by four squirrels and a tree

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Whats brown and sticky? ..Poo

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Why did the monk shave his head? So he's more aerodynamic.

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If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Regression.

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Your Mom.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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justin bieber walks into a bar, he is then kicked out because he's under age.

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Why are a black man's eyes always bloodshot red after having sex? Pepper spray.

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Why was the boy sad? I don't know, what do think I am? An umbrella? Why would you even think FOR A MOMENT that it's OK to just ASK me random stuff? Do you have ANY IDEA who I am?! I'm your worst nightmare, and if you ever ask me ANYTHING without permission again, or so help me I will drown the nearest pet goldfish. P.S. His cat died.

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,What would you call Morgan Freeman if he was White? Morgan Freeman

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How many penguins does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Penguins cannot screw in lightbulbs because they have wings instead of fingers or opposable thumbs, as humans do.

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A Boy Walks Up To A Frog At the Bus Stop And Says, “Why Are You So Upset?” And The Frog Replied, “I’m Waiting For The Bus Because My Car Just Got TOAD!”

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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