An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a pub. They order drinks, then leave without speaking to each other. It was pure coincidence they walked into the bar at the same time. They had no connections to each other, them being from three different countries.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A Jew ran into a wall with a boner. He broke his nose first.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many average men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

You're so stupid, you had to take part in special classes in school, and despite this specific attention to your educational development, you've made no major progress.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the goat say to the dolphin dogs don't lay eggs

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What Happends When Sawdust Gets in your mouth You poop logs

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is your favorite joke? I like bar jokes. Okay knock knock Who's there? A bartender A bartender who? A bartender walks into a bar but before he went through the door, he decided to knock on the door because this lame joke is so random.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being ripped apart by an angry orangatang because orangatangs have the strength of ten men.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

The saying "When Pigs Fly" Can easily be canceled. Just tie a rocket and wings to it and let it go.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

i want to eat a horse out jaffa cake

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Whats round, hard, and full of seaman? Well in the context I'm using it in, a submarine, but too the inappropriate mind when spoken out loud, could be registered as the homophone of seaman, semen, which would then lead you too think of male genitalia.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did Lil Jimmi received at his birthday ? A red fire truck and he loved it

thumb_up thumb_down -87

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, due to the lack of details, there could be many reasons, such as the possibility that there was a cornfield on the other side, he got scared by a loud noise behind him and ran across the street, or just plain old curiosity, but whatever it may be, right now, we do not know the cause.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Jesus walks on water, Humans are 70% water, I can walk on humans, Therefore i am 70% Jesus.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: Who won the fight of two black guys and a white guy? A: The black and white guy because two is better than one.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is the best thing about chuck norris? hes holding a gun to my hea

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A girl asks a guy "How come you don't take me dancing anymore?" The guy said "Because we were both killed in a car accident."

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Yo mama is so ugly that the devil warships her.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you get a black kid to sleep? A cup of warm milk and maybe a lulluby should do it.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

If you can dodge a traffic, that probably has little or no relation to how well you can dodge a ball.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What is green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Yo Mumma so dumb she has to climb over a glass wall to see whats on the other side.... Yo Mumma's so fat when she walked past the tv she made me miss 5 series... Yo Mumma's so fat when god said let there be light she had to move out of the road. That's nearly all that I have, but if u have one leave it in the comment

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the black girl say when sho dropped her phone? Oh crap, I dropped my phone.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops