Why couldn't little Jimmy play catch with his dad? Because he was an orphan.

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" the Eggman and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What do you call a dead prostitute? - You (or friends name) in 10 years

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What happens when cole goes into a dark room? It's not possible his hair puts off too much light

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If she's old enough to count, she's probably in second grade.

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What does wasabi spell backwards? Ibasaw

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im 14, over weight and spotty! you interested? .... im desperate:)

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What happened to the peanut who went to New York City? He got a-salted

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A man is a joke for making a joke on antijoke

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Did u hear bout the guy who went to the donut shop yeah he has brown hair

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A black person goes up to the drive through at popeye's, what did they say? Nothing, it was closed.

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Why did the doctor wear glasses? Because he was a whale.

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If at first you don't succeed, there's a very substantial probability that you failed.

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Why did the chicken attempt to cross the road? To see if it could.

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oh no, i've lost my tractor

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wanted tobe cool, But I look like you

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Knock Knock Who's there? Charles Grodin. Charles Grodin who? Exactly.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline

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Two gophers are in a tank One of them says how the heck do you drive this thing?

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What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed Awwww sheeeeeeet!

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A three-legged prostitute, a coal miner, and R. Kelly walk into an all-midget rendition of Stravinsky's Rite of Spring. The miner has a heart attack and dies. The concubine and the vocalist do nothing to help.

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y do black people always have nightmares because we killed the one who had a dream

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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