- Anti Joke

what do u say when u steal something? STOLEN!!!!!!!!!

Q: what did the grandmother give to her grandson. A: a lightbulb

What’s funnier than cancer? Most things, really.

Roses are red Violets are blue I haven't been able to deal Since the day that I lost you. Now these roses bleed red And these violets cry blue I think of you in memories Do you think of me too?

Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

Did you hear about the new brand of shovel? Yeah, it's pretty groundbreaking.

Why did annie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms! Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Annie!

Why couldn't my grandpa use a cell phone? He didn't have hands.

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house? A: That depends how hard you throw them... Q: Whats worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees...

A Muslim walked into a bar....nothing happened

Q:How can you tell an asian has just robbed your home? A: You took the necessary precautions to purchase a very high quality security system and you caught the whole thing on tape, and the man was arrested.

Q: What did the two muffins say in the oven? A: OMG we are in an oven, "OMG a talking muffin"

So there we were, climbing Mount Kjerag and we take a break. So I decided to tell you a joke. "Isn't this nice, just hanging around? See it's funny because we're suspended over 1000 metres in the air by our harnesses, except that you're not because I cut yours and now you're falling and you're gonna die." But I had done all that before I told you the joke so you didn't hear me and now I'll have to cut my harness and try to catch up to you so I can repeat myself. Great job, ya prick.

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What's big white and can't fly? -Half of America Whats big brown and can't fly? -Crap

women's rights

Why did the duck cross the road? Hurricane Katrina

What did the man do when he was tired Nothing he went to bed

your mom is so ugly that she is still a virgin, you don't exist you are just a figment of my imagination.

I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

Roses are red Violets are purple. I just realized that nothing rhymes with "Purple".

What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

Rose are red, Violets are blue Your cat is dead Turkey

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your car repossessed.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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