Knock Knock I'm sorry but the new don't ask don't tell laws require me to not answer but do feel free to come in for some tea.

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If Jonny has 300 pies and eats 299 pies what is left for Jonny? DIABETES

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A man walks into a bar, he drinks, then leaves the bar.

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Q: What is better than sex? A: A relationship where you can be completely intimate with your partner

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Why didn't the black man drink out of the white water fountain? Because he wasn't thirsty.

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How did the blonde burn her ear? In a terrible accident involving molten lava.

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If you say gullible over and over again, it sounds like stupidity.

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Hellen Keller

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why was joe in hospital with facial disorder? his mum hit him with a fridge

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Texter 1: Hey, do you want to hang out? Texter 2: Sorry dude, i lost my phone, i'm trying to find it Texter 1: Ok, text me when you find it Texter 2: OK

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Doctor everybody that I stare at seems to die moments later! Uh, why are you looking at me so intensely... >:)

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Nock Nock It's open.

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What look likes a rocket, uses Mc Donalds wifi and takes off from Fairlawns Avenue Kevins House not instigating it was all Taggart

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What's the difference between a black man and and a bag of crap? A lot, but mostly the bag

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Yourrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr soo uglyyyyyy

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What is both blue and yellow at the same time? Green.

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What do you call a strait man that is also gay? Bisexual.

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What does Malcolm X think about when hes horny? Sex!

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Yo mama's so fat that she takes too muc oh fuck it I'm stuffed Henri and Chaz

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whats the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? i dont have a ferrari in my garage

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What was the joke about that woman with altsimers again? Ironically I forgot.

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What is the difference between a bright red Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Why did tigger look in the toilet? Because he dropped his phone fell in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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