-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Traveling Salesman.

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What did the octopus say to the lion? Nothing, because the likely hood of a lion and an octopus meeting is incredibly slim, as an octopus is a sea creature, and a lion isn't. A lion and an octopus cant even communicate with each other anyway, so even if they did come across each other they wouldn’t be able to talk. Octopi are also anti-social creatures by nature so I can say with some confidence that the lion and the octopus will not have a convocation. Written By JAMES!

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why did CJ cry?he just ate a pie full of meat from his favorite animal.Pig

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What's the difference between ?2 and and 74^3? ?-405242.585786

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Q:What happens when you choke a smurf? A: Nothing because smurfs dont exist

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Libyans stage a protest. They get massacred.

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What's worse than a bug in your soup? Getting shot in the stomach.

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An Irishman walks into a bar and orders a Coke.

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What Do you Call Cheese that's not yours (nacho cheese?) *interrupt them violently and stare with crazy eyes!* STOLEN! I was gonna make quesadillas, now no quesadillas for anyone!

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Roses are black. Violets are black. Everything is black. I'm Helen Keller.

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Why did little jimmy fall off the building? 9/11

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Why was the black man fired from his job? Because the company was beginning to lose sales which then resulted in job cuts.

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What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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roses are red violets are blue however some roses are pink

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What has two wheels and a handle bar? A bike.

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What's the different between a white guy and a black guy? The white guy makes his money, and the black guy steels the white guys money.

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Your hat is not on you head. Where is it On you head

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Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

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Whats worse than death? Getting expelled from Hogwarts

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Why can't we see the wind? Because no one likes you...

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, I'm a Schizophrenic And so am I

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Why do teens say "dude?" They feel unloved at home and must know that they posses a strong relationship with their peers, and in fact, cannot maintain a proper friendship due to the four letter word known as "dude."

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What did the fat lady order at McDonalds? Nothing because she forgot here wallet at home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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