Why did silly Miss Sally put her baby in the dishwasher? Because she was suffering from advanced stages of Schizophrenia. She thought that her baby was a dish. Her mother, Carol watched in horror as her granddaughter was placed inside. A tear dribbled from her eye. Things had been bad, but because Sally was her daughter, she had been tolerant. Carol sobbed as the baby screamed in terror, unable to escape. Finally, Carol, tears in her eyes, called Child Protective Services on her own daughter, something she didn't want to do. When CPS representatives finally came, they were horrified at the sight of a screaming baby covered in suds with burnt skin that had been scorched by hot jets. Sally's baby, Alex was taken from her and put into foster care.

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knock knock no ones home

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What's sad about black people that drink grape soda and eat fried chicken? The stereotypes are true.

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Your not having a bad day, your just doing everything wrong!

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Q: What did the terrorist do when he walked into the football stadium? A: Set off a bomb, killing him and others there

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Poop

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Hearpin my durp

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there's a worm in my lime at least it doesn't have scurvy

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what do you get when you cross a jellyfish, a jar, and a brown crayon? i dont know, im not into genetics, and jars dont have genes.

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What is the difference between a cow and a clam one is bivalve and one is a mammal

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead..

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Whats worse than having no mother? Having no mother and father, enabling you to have to support a family at the age of 12, using the allowance that your parents are supposed to give you once a week.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the American family left the McDonald's with freshly bought chicken nuggets in their possession, and needed to cross the road to return to their home and eat said chicken.

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Make little things count Teach midgets math

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by it surroundings, and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Lil Wayne's song 6 foot 7 foot was named after my wewe

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's the postman, I have a package you need to sign for.

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What's better than having an iPad? I don't know, I lost both my hands.

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Q: Whats black and white and red all over? A: I am unsure for I am color blind.

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A plane crashes near an uncharted island with a low supply of fresh water and hardly any animals, except for a few deadly ones. How do the survivors live until rescuers show up? -There were no survivors from the plane crash

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yo mamma so fat she got pied to be the Olympic swimming pool

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Measurology: The measurement of your measure can measure the measurement of measures, along with measurements exceeding the measurements of measurement, with measures at the measurement of measuring measured measures. - ToFlyForU_28

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Stephen Hawking is so paranoid, always looking over his shoulder.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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