Yo mamma so fat, she is going on a diet and is very sensitive about her weight.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she was deaf and blind and would have been a hazard to herself and others.

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version 2 knock knock, whose there FU CK FU CK who FU CK YOU

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A man walks into a bar with a couple of chickens by his side. He sees a man sitting at the bar drinking a beer. The man who's drinking the beer offers the other man a seat, and asks him to join him in the drinking. The other man hardly refuses and takes the beer from the other man and throws it on the floor, breaking it. The man sitting at the bar asks him why he did it. The man answers: "My chickens don't like beer"

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Why was Timmy late for class? He got hit by a bus. Why was Jimmy late for class? He saw Timmy lying in the middle of the street, went out to help and got hit by another bus.

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That's as gay as AIDS.

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I can't see my forehead

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How was copper wire invented? Probably some scientist did that

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if life gives you lemons, you have some lemons

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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How do you keep a woman from driving your car? Shoot her.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Some people like melon and others like soup.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? A watermelon is edible.

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A white man went to the basketball court to play basketball and was confronted by a group of black men. They kindly invited the white man to play basketball with them and they had a nice day

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-What did the snake say to the mouse? Nothing. Animals can't talk dumbass.

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What does a weasel and a naked college girl have in common? No clothes

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170

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why did the chicken cross the road? I don't care! What are you doing in my house?

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nobody, you got ding-dong-ditched

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What's the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods? Santa is a jolly Christmas figure that delivers presents to children and Tiger Woods is a professional golfer.

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Q: how do u piss off a plumber? A: kill his whole family

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How do you keep a blond in suspense?

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a duck walks up to a lemonade stand, says to the man running the stand. quack, because he's a duck

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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