An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A vodka please Sir this is McDonald's Ok sorry, a McVodka please

thumb_up thumb_down -21

"We have such clean water we drink and do a lot of other stuff with it" The American said. "What other stuff do you do with your clean water" The African Child said. "Well we take showers in and we go to bathroom with it" The American said. "So let me get this straight you even take a Shit in it to" The African Child said.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

- Server, there's a hair in my soup ! - You're right, sir, I'll give you another soup imminently.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Your momma's so stupid, she has a lower than average IQ!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why was Armando unable to be found by his friend Ashley ? A: They both were murdered 7 years ago, and bodies are unable to do anything if they lost their soul that was with that body.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Jeff goes to the store, Helen Keller.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why wasn't the man able to see his son? He got run over by a train. Knock knock Who's there? The man. He was kidding about being run over.

thumb_up thumb_down

why did the guy get pulled over he had a broken tail light

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I dream of a world where chickens can cross the road and not have their motives questioned.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What is Ron afraid of? Spiders!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Your dad is so fat, that eventually he got on Biggest Loser and ended living a very successful life.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Doctor, Doctor, I feel like I don't know anyone... Uh...who are you?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A panda walks into a bar, orders some bamboo shoots, and bamboo leaves, and eats them

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the Mexican stop mowing the family's lawn? Because he felt it was time for his son to learn some responsibility.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's worse than a completely overused anti-joke punchline? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What do you call a Mexican playing basketball? A man of hispanic heritage that enjoys the sport of basketball.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

You life story is the perfect cure for insomnia. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Did you hear about the cannibal who ate the Olympic record sprinter? He's in prison for first-degree murder & crimes against humanity.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your doorstep? A: Whatever his name is.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has Stevie Wonder.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops