What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Say the line below sixteen times very fast: I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... Done? Good boy!

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why doesnt cornelia say anything? she didnt answer

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What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a Mustang? I don't have a Mustang in my garrage.

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Q: What word contains all the letters in the alphabet? A: A made-up word, probably.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet and so are you, but the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl empty and so is your head.

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A man walks into a bar and asks for 6 vodka shots. The bartender looks at him in a strange manner. The man quickly downs all 6 of the vodka shots. The bartender looks at the man and says "Jeepers mate, whats the celebration?" The man replies "Well mate, first blow job today" The bartender in a kind gesture says "Here you go mate, next one is one me" while pouring another shot. The man respectfully replies, "No thanks mate, if 6 didn't get the taste away, im sure 7 won't"

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second and says "it sure is getting hot in here!". The second muffin looks over and responds "this makes no sense - we shouldn't be capable of speech, let alone self-awareness." "We probably should try to get out of here, though."

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Why was the baby crying? It wasn't it got hit by a bus and died.

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Men's Rights

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BUT HWY?

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What do you call batman when we lost all his money? Broke

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JESSSSIICCCCCAAAAAA!

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OMG I was sexting my friend and I accidentally sent my naked picture to my parents. What do I do? Tell your friend that you accidentally sent your naked picture to your parents.

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Real Joke: The US Air Force operates Seymour Johnson Air Force Base. It is named for a seaman. Go look it up.

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What happend when Chuck Norris did a push up? He did one push up.

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Why did the lion go to the doctor? He was hungry for man flesh. -John R-

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knock knock who's there? F uck F uck who? F uck off

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why did Kelsey fall off the swing? because she has no arms Knock Knock who's there? not Kelsey

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I just sharpened this hatchet Don't make me use it!

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Knock Knock There's no door here, I'm right in front of you.

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What's the worst thing to find in an empty box? Nothing,It's empty

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the cactus cross the road? It was stuck to the chickens butt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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