Roses are red Violets are blue I gotta go to the bathroom

There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. He woke with a fright in the middle of the night, To find nothing amiss.

Q. Whats black and rhymes with Snoop? A. Dr Dre

What did the rainbow sun say to the flower-faced elephant? "Want some tea and hamsters?" I'm addicted to acid.

Q: How do you scream at a purple? A: Black people

Do you know what a lion really is? It's an over sized cat.

a man i knew who was a real jerk was about to drive home drunk. i was trying to stop him, but then he punched me in the face. i let him through. he died that night. i texted him all the way

Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm not sure but my guess is that there was some logical reasoning behind the action.

when god created an asian he said 'Crispy"

Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It didn't, there were no roads back then

What do you call a man who has Alzheimer's? Wait what am I doing?

A duck walked up to a bad hearing drug dealer, and dealer asked duck, "What you do want?" A duck said, "Quack!" So dealer gave duck a crack

Why did the boy go to the hospital? He didn't. Unfortunately the gunshot wound severely injured the boy and he was unable to be revived in time to survive.

Some people like melon and others like soup.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a socially responsible chicken and his family was on the other side and every day walks his ass across the street to go to work to provide for his family, unlike your dead-beat ass.

- Bob, what's interesting to see in NYC ? - Yes, exactly

Whats white and sticky? Rotten milk.

Why would Maria not have sex with Liam? Because she is Danish and doesn't shave and therefore is self-conscious

cory

What goes good with coca cola? Thirst

a man got hit by a truck in brooklyn, JK he got shot, he was in brooklyn, Duh, he stumbled out in to traffic afterwards

"Well, you done done me and you bet I felt it; I tried to be chill, but then I realized that when used as an adjective, 'chill' refers to the temperature." -Jason Mraz

Why was the girl crying? She got kicked in the vagina

You know what's funny about AIDS? Nothing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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