roses are red unless they are the pink ones oh yeah they're also pretty expensive

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Q: If two lesbians are in a relationship, who makes the sandwiches? A: They both do.

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When life gives you lemons, you go to a therapist and seek help because your dementia has progressed to the point that you are seeing and feeling illusions.

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I just started the seafood diet. It consists primarily of eating fish due to its high nutritional content.

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What do you get when you write your own anti-joke? Herpes.

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Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the whale rape a guy? He wanted to see what would happen.

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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A group of teenage boys put a flaming bag of dog feces on Old Man Howard's doorstep. He came out and demanded that they stop such behavior at once. They did, and the day went on normally.

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Do you know what hurts? An abortion.

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If you're having girl problems, I feel bad for you, son... Because I can empathise with you, and it's not a very nice situation to be in. Hope you work it out.

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How was breakdancing inventented? From niggas trying to steal hubcaps of moving cars!

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What's black, white, and red all over? Half of a dalmatian.

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Anonymous. Anonymous who? Exactly.

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How do you feed 1000 people? Cook 1000 meals .

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A man named Hank, from Idaho takes a trip to Michigan. When he arrives, he rents a house and starts a meth lab. Hank is spending 7 years in jail. Hank was charged with stealing.

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I have 20 dollars and 27 cents. How much money do I have? 20.28$ I found a penny.

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What did the black kid get on his report card? Math: C- English: D+ Social Studies: C+ Gym:A+ Science: D- N.P.P.

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Sometimes black people kill other black people.

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Dad always said that laughter was the best medicine. Maybe that's why he died of tuberculosis.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It heard you like to choke the chicken.

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The little girl asks her father "Daddy why is santa fat?" "you have to exist to lose weight" he answered

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Your so ugly that your birth certeficate is a apology letter from the condum factory

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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