How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

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Q: What was Steve Jobs' last words before he died? A: I Think i might die.

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why were the negros at whitney houstons funeral smiling? because there were free sandwiches!

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Who are you if you can rub 2 ice cubes to make fire? Chuck Norris

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Yo mama's so fat, she died of a mixture of obesity and type 1 diabetes.

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you wanna hear a joke? no

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Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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a mexican guy and a black guy are in a car, who is driving? the mexican, the black guy is in the passenger seat

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a dyslexic man walks into a bra and realizes he is quite lucky as another man walks into a large steel pole

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The Police. She told me she was nineteen.

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If a fish eats fish bait, and a dog eats dog bait, what does a master eat? Anything he feels like eating at the given moment provided it is in accordance to his diet and beliefs.

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A pony goes to the doctor saying his throat hurts, the doctor sais "oh I know, your a little hoarse". The pony replies, no I'm not ass-hole I have strep throat.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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What did Freddie Mercurys father say at Freddies funeral. "Thats the cleanest hole our Freddies ever been in".

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Why did you laugh at this joke. Because it was funny.

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whats red bubbly and looks out of a windo? a baby in a mocrowave

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a dog ate my homework but then he returned it on the lawn

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what happened to the man that got shot.... He died.. 3 secs after

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Q: Why are asians good at math? A: Because they study with their tutor every tuesday

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, He cracked his skull and died on impact. He will be missed.

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What's worse than hearing another Holocaust anti-joke? The Holocaust.

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I used to be addicted to soap, but now I'm clean. I'm still addicted to heroin, though. No chance I'm ever giving that up.

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Q: whats white and smells like shit A: my ass

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whats black. an african american person

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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