Where did the girl go after the explosion? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What is black, white, and red all over? Obviusly a sunburned panguin.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What do you not want to get when playing scrabble? Diarrhea

thumb_up thumb_down -1

your mum

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man goes to the doctor's office. The doctor says, "I have some bad news, and some worse news. The bad news is you have alzheimer's. The worse news is you have cancer." The man breaks down in tears, realizing that his life as he knew it is over, and recognizing the horrible burden he is about to become on his family, both financially and emotionally.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the pig have a band-aid? Because he had a whole in his foot.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: he was sucidal because his kids hate him and his wife cheated on him.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why did the boy trip off a cliff? because he was clumsy.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

how do you make sure someone is dead shoot them

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why was Carlos fired? Because he stole and smelled of weed.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "For Christ's sakes, Grandma, put your pants back on!"

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why didnt sally throw out her lunch? Her mom had a miscarriage, she was never born.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

dead dibbs

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What's the difference between a Elephant? It can neither bike...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red, My watch is gold now get on your knees and do as your told

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Bill:Ask me to do something. Bob:Go get me a beer Bill:Would you like fries with that?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? A catfish could never pass the LSAT because it is unable to perform high-level critical thinking.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

What's the difference between a black minister and a white priest? Nothing. We are all equal in the eyes of God.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q. Why do Puerto Ricans throw their trash away in clear plastic bags? A. So Italians can go window shopping.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Q. how does james bond like his babies A.shaken not stirred but if u think thats bad wait till u see a stirred baby

thumb_up thumb_down +8

-Knock, Knock -Who's there? -Carl -Carl wh-wait... carl...CARL OH MY GOD!!!! WE ALL THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD ,CARL!!!! Where have you been? Oh my god... Mom's DEAD! When we all thought you were dead she hung herself! IT'S YOUR FAULT SHE'S DEAD, CARL! YOUR FAULT!!!!!! YOU ARE AN UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF SHIT CARL! YOU KNOW THAT? I hope you burn in hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A black man is packing heat while driving his car. He is a police officer

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call an old widow with 12 cats? Forever alone.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Roses are grey Violets are grey I live in Africa Give me water

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops