Knock Knock. Whose there. We have a warrant for your arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the n i g g e r steal money? because he was black! and wanted a KFC thanksgiving! :)

thumb_up thumb_down -61

-I once had a dog with no legs, and do you know how I named him? -...? -I didn't name him, he wouldn't come...

thumb_up thumb_down -84

How do you avoid being hit with a toaster? You don't walk past the man hitting you with a toaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

You're so fat. Well maybe to kids born in Africa.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have a pleasant evening as they talk to each other about their day over a relaxing drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Doctor doctor, I came here as quickly as possible, it was just the nearest place I could find. My dog he... he's panting and bleeding and I don't know what to do I think he's dying and I just want him to hold on... Please... Well then go to a vet you stupid shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" A few people laugh, but the horse, incapable of speech, does not. He is unfamiliar with this location and begins to panic. In his panic his leg is broken. He is put down shorty thereafter.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down +34

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

thumb_up thumb_down

A man walks into a bar. He hits his head and dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the girl get her hair cut off? Because she had cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -6

EVERYONE TEXT 513-646-2835 AND ASK HIM WHY HE HAS GOOP IN HIS PANTS. his names travis

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A guy in a truck delivering furniture runs over a frog. Concerned for the frog, he pulls over and runs back to the frog and asks "Are you ok?" The frog replies "Yeah, you want to buy a cupboard?"

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Roses are red, Violets are blue, That's okay, I'm not colourblind.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

DO U KNOW ABOUT THE BIRD BIRD BIRD, BIRD IS THE WORD? DON'T U KNOW ABOUT THE BIRD? EVERYOBODY KNOWS THAT THE BIRD IS THE WORD! Oh, no i did not know that the bird was the word.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call a black man standing on a podium? Slave trade

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti-Jokes are the bomb .org

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q. How can you tell if a snake bites? A. It depends on if he walks to school or carries his lunch.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why is it OK to make fun of a deaf person? Because they can't hear.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what did the boy who liked trucks get for his birthday? POOP

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops