Why couldn't Timmy go to the bathroom? He was constipated.

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Brett Favre sent me a pic of his penis. I then compared it to my own and felt good about my general ackage size

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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what's the difference between a black man and a tricycle well the black man's a human

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Bill and John are talking about types of cheese. The conversation drags on a bit and slowly changes topic. Bill says "I bet you I can bungy jump off a bridge". John chuckles before replying "I bet you can't". They go and find a bridge and Bill puts on his harness and ties himself to the side of the bridge. He throws himself off the edge and falls through the air screaming at the top of his voice. John cuts the bungy cord and Bill dies.

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What's worse than a tree getting cut down? This joke.

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why'd the chicken cross the road It didn't, it was safely placed inside a chook house

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What's the difference between me and convicted pedophile? -The pedophile's been caught ;)

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If you search "fat black man" on Google, you will find many reesults about black people who happen to be chronicly obese.

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Whats worst than getting screwed. Your mother

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

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What's the difference between a lesbian and a Pringle ? One is a snack cracker, the other is a crack snacker.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was Friday night (or Halloween or St. Patty's Day) and the chicken was at a party. He got totally drunk, and then got the bright idea that it would be okay to drive home. On a rural two-lane highway, his vehicle careened into the oncoming traffic lane, and then the ditch, thus crossing the road. Fortunately, he walked away with only a few scratches. However, he was cited for wreckless driving, and got a DUI as well.

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What shakes and twitches and can be found at the sea bottom? A scuba diver running out of oxygen.

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How did Jonny die We don't know he was never found

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What was the last thing to go through Kurt Cobain's mind? His teeth.

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Why was Joseph Kony at a primary school ? It was 3 o'clock and his children had just finished a long hard day learning to read and right and it was his turn to pick them up after him and misses Kony developed a schedule one late night after the odd glass of wine or two.

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What's brown and sticky? The faeces of a glue stick.

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What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? - "Get down"

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There were 3 men on a rough each granted one wish to make. The first guy sees a bird and runs and jumps off the ledge and wishes to be a bird and he flies away. The second guy sees a butterfly so he too runs and jumps off the ledge and wishes to be a butterfly and flies away. The third guy telling himself those were all stupid wishes, makes up his mind what he is going to wish for so he runs to the ledge and just after he says "I wish to be" he trips on the ledge and says, "shit!" So his wish was granted and shit he became. The End.

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Q: What came first, the chicken or the egg? A: The egg, dinosaurs reproduced long before chickens existed.

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Dani Barton is a stupid GIRL

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What did the prizon cell mate get for christmas. Herpes!

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Q:Whats rhe best part about spinning a baby round and round Stopping it with a shovel

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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