obama

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A seal walks into a club. Do you like my new shoes?

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What happened when the old woman crossed the road? A completely unrelated archery accident lead to the deaths of several people and thousands of dollars of property damage in another part of the country. The woman crossed without injury.

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There are 500 bricks on an airplane. If you drop one out, how many are left? 499. There are three steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator. What are they? Open the fridge, put the elephant in, close the fridge. There are four steps to putting a deer in the fridge. What are they? Open the fridge, take the elephant out, put the deer in, close the fridge. The Lion King is having a birthday party. All the animals are there but one. Why is that? The deer is in the fridge. A woman wants to cross an alligator infested swamp. How does she do it? She crosses normally because the alligators are at the Lion King's party. She dies anyways. Why? She gets hit in the head with a brick.

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A Psychologist said that I am a pessimist... Figures.

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A tree falls over on an old woman. Mysteriously, the woman lifts the tree up and walks away. A man is amazed by this, so he goes and asks the woman how she managed to lift the whole tree. She tells the man that he is an idiot an walks away. Later inspecting the tree, he realizes it is a small sapling weighing no less than 10 pounds

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A black man and an asian woman have a baby. Then a hispanic and a native american have a baby. Their babies have a baby. What is the baby? Society's worst nightmare.

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p lkl

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Knock knock Who's there? Hi I'm John from the jehovah witness society down the street and I'd love to talk to you about your beliefs! Would you like a pamphlet?

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man: so where did you two meet? man tied to flower: in the produce section.

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A Man Walks Into A Bar. He's Immediately Rushed To The Hospital.

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Is this Chick-fil-a? No, this is Joe.

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Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? Because he uses only the finest ingedients.

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A man took a crap. . . . It felt amazing

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If life throws you melons, either catch them or get out of he way to avoid injury.

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What's wrong with Barney? He's big and purple.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sausage is brown, and so is my wife.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he has no sense of living and no muscles to move.

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Where is boots, Dora asks Why the hell are you asking me when your the one who is with him.

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What used to be red, but isn't anymore? A scalped ginger.

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What did the boy do when he struck out in his little league game? He was very upset and contemplated not playing the game anymore.

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GEORGE LOPEZ SUCKS

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what did hitler say when the allies invaded germany i did NAZI that coming

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Your momma's so fat: She feels excluded by mainstream clothing outlets.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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