If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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What did David say to Goliath? Not sure, does anyone have a Bible?

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noodles

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the barman "I'll have a pint of................ beer please." The barman says "why the big pause?"

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Yo mama so fat that her weight is starting to tear her and your father apart.

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Why is Eeyore in Winnie the Pooh always sad? Cause he has a nail in his anus

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go go gadget

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Q: Why did Rapunzel fall out of the tower? A: Because she was a dumb bitch.

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what do you call a needle with two heads? a two headed needle

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

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Are you a homophobe? No, I'm cake. ,.

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What happened to Liam? He died because of an infected scrotum.

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Whats white and all over my room? paint

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The man who killed hitler must have ben a swell dude a.w. j.p.

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What do you call a shop dedicated to selling watermelon, fried chicken and corn bread? A poor business model.

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Immediately following his inauguration, Bush called Obama into the oval office for a private meeting and some words of advice. Bush and Obama shook hands as gentlemen do and then Bush asked if Obama wanted to hear a joke. Obama eagerly said yes, "Good..." Bush said, handing Obama a battered copy of the United States Constitution, "...the joke is in your hands", and with that Bush turned and left.

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Why does a chicken lay an egg? If she'd throw it, it would break.

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What do you call a guy who answers your door Whatever his name his

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There was a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They were all of equal intelligence.

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A man dressed in a white sheet shows up at an African American's door, they sit in the living room drinking coffee and watching the weather.

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What do you call a gay, black, Muslim physician? Doctor.

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Two business men, a priest and three boys are on a plane which is going down. There are only three parachutes. One business man says that they should allow the children to have the parachutes as they have long lives ahead of them. The other business man says screw the children. The priest looks up at the second business man. After a short but heated argument they all agree to let the children have the parachutes. The three children then proceed to jump out of the plane with the parachutes. The two business men and the priest watch as they descend upon the earth. The plane then crashes into a mountain, killing the business men and the priest. Once the boys were safely on land they went back to their daily lives in their individual homes. Turns out a serial killer had escaped from prison, all three children were found dead the next morning, the cause of death of course being that each had contracted some form of a sexually transmitted disease from the priest.

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what do an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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