A man walked into a bar and it hurt.

Republicans

Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? I can't remember. I have amnesia from when I was hit by a bus as a child.

Why was Jenny walking home alone from school? Because three years ago her parents were murdered brutally by a drug dealer and social services haven't yet realised that Jenny is still living in the empty house.

What is the difference between a man and a woman? Genitals

I've done a lot of soul searching, and.... I've realized.... the & symbol really looks like a man dragging his butt on the ground.

Why do Jews make sure their cars can stop on a dime? So if something happens unexpectedly when they are driving they have a better chance of avoiding a dangerous collision.

Whats The Meaning Of Life? 42. But everyone has their own perception so you have your own answer so why the heck did i write this joke. Oh wait Im writing still. The answer is 42.

What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get hit by a car because he was depressed and contemplating suicide.

What happens when some one breaks apart your little brother's lego tower? You have a screaming little brother and a bunch of legos all over the floor.

Q: Whats worse than finding 10 babies in a trash can? A: Finding 1 baby in 10 trash cans!

''Levi Johnston is running for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska. Ironically, many of the babies he'll kiss on the campaign trail will be his own.''

Q. Why did the squirrel cross the road? A. Because it was stapled to the chicken.

I was bangin this girl and she kept yelling the wrong name. Who's raape?

Whats the difference between a Corvette and a dead bag of babies. -there's not a Corvette in my garage

What is green and drives around in the desert and is not a tank? secretly a tank

Fat people are harder to kidnap!!

when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

Why did the cookie go to the hospital? It had cancer.

Unless you yourself put you trough that pain and misery, you have no reason to dislike or flee from who you are.

Wishing to teach his donkey not to eat, a pedant did not offer him any food. When the donkey died of hunger, he said: ‘I’ve had a great loss. Just when he had learned not to eat, he died.

Q. What goes 100 mph and is green? A. A frog in a blender

Q: What do AIDS and rape have in common? A: If you play guard for the Lakers, neither will affect you.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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