knock, knock Who's there? A social worker, we are taking your children into costody because your wife has reported you to the police for molesting them.

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The audience was ready, the stage was set, as soon as the show ended, the actors applauded towards the audience shouting ENCORE! The audience paid and went home, then they suddenly went... HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS SCENARIO!? They cared so much about one another, that they wanted to fall in love with each other. Now that is true love that is not love people! Nerometal (Ironically my name is Nero, I bet the Neronism guys name is Dwayne Maskdork or something, seriously...)

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Whats red and hurts if it hits you in the face? a brick

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This is SPARTA! SPARTA? THIS IS MADNESS! (kicks guy down well) What is hurt! Baby dont love me, dont love me, no more. Moral: The funny thing is probably that the line makes a lot more sense all of sudden does it not?

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Hi! This is Ms.McGruder you two boys in my office at 3:00 p.m. today

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this is madness! Madness? no, nevah... THIS IS SPARTA!!!!!! NO, THIS IS PATRICK!!!

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger Stand a little taller Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone What doesn't kill you is a bad attempt on your life.

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What do you call the people that ride on the upper level of a double decker bus? Passengers.

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a horse walks into a barn

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How do you get into USA from mexico? Climb a fence

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I'm on the seafood diet. A large proportion of my daily food intake is fish.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was strapped to the first monkey.

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Johnny fell out of the window. Except he didn't fall I pushed him

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What did the black man eat at a picnic? I don't know, I wasn't there.

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What's awesome and looks like a pumpkin? An awesome pumpkin.

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There are 2 cannibals eating a guy well one starts at the head and the other one starts at the feet the one at the head says to the other on how you doing down there and he said ohhh having a ball you!!!!

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Being a demigod and slaying monsters isn't normal, but on myth it is. MYTH: Not even once.

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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

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Why did Timmy miss school? He was killed in a tragic school bus accident

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How does a chubby baby eat his chili In a very chubby way with his hands smearing it all over is face

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why wouldnt sally stop spinning? she was trapped in a washing machine

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? Jamal

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What do you call a dead baby lying in the road? A Tragedy

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Nicole: Shove it where the sun don't shine! Katlyn: I'm richer than you! Nicole: Shut your frickin' mouth! Katlyn: You'll be bankrupt! (This conversation was recorded while Nicole and Katlyn were playing Monopoly. They both died in a car accident later that day...)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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