What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your balls chewed off by a rottweiler.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: Why was the little girl cowering in a closet in a corner. A: Because there was a murderer/rapist in her house with her oarents gone.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Fun Fact getting married to your first cousin is legal in CT... bet you thought there was joke coming right about now..........

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you kill a cow while your carrying a gun Shoot him

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What is yellow and sleeps alone? Yoko Ono.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q:What do you call Black Jesus ? A:Black Jesus a.w. j.p.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

make me a sandwich!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. It is ignorant and offensive to judge the world of cardinal numbers, where protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary, by the standards of human societies.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

So a man was walking down the street with bananas in his ears when he saw one of his friends coming the other way. When they met up the one friend asked, "Hey you know you've got bananas in your ears?" To which the man replied "What? I can't hear you, I have bananas in my ears."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What couldn't the Asian drive? Because he had just gotten laser eye surgery, and the doctor recommended that he didn't drive for a few days.

thumb_up thumb_down +135

Many people dont know this about me, but I'm not very famous.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Whats brown,looks like a.dike,and is a whore. Marcella

thumb_up thumb_down +5

On a deserted island in the middle of nowhere three women have just been in a horrible boat wreck. They are okay and alive. One is a lovely smart brunette. An appealing ginger. And a blond.. named Becky. They take shelter when one of them notices a shimmer in the sand. They pick it up to discover that it was a golden lamp. They rub it and a blue cloud of smoke consumes them. Then a magnificent Guinnie appears and says "You have awoken me from my 10,000 year encasement inside that lamp! I shall grant you 3 wishes to show you my sincere gratitude." The brunette wishes for a plane so she can fly home. The ginger wishes for a boat to sail back home. The blonde was lonely so she wished that the brunette and the ginger were back with her.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How many times has Susie fallen off the swing? Not enough.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Wha do you call a couple with aids? 2 pepole who need immediate health treatment.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

If chuck Norris is so awesome how come he's not at my house slamming my face into the keybodhdtegdudgegdtdjaowpqhwvsmx vxbdnsksksh

thumb_up thumb_down -1

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

thumb_up thumb_down +9

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't suck its dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What do you call a homeless person with one leg? Rob.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why is that man such a perv? I don't know. Ever since I let him see my boobs, he has had this undying obsession with sex. So, I guess that, as society would classify him, he is a sex addict. He will do anything for it, even if he needs a man to get it. I feel terrible about starting his obsession, and plan to take him to therapy next week for the sake of his health.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? The doctor prescribes him tablets to treat his bi-polar tendencies.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They had several drinks, conversed animatedly, and heartily enjoyed themselves.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

roses are red violets are blue. they both smell like flowers

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Rebecca Black and Justin Bieber get married.... Friends and family attend the wedding

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops