Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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A man walks into a bar and says "I'd like a beer."

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do not read this(this is intended to be read)

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I like my women like I like my coffee... 2 cream 1 sugar.

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Why did the asian lady buy the large shirt instead of the medium? Because the medium didn't fit

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Q: I have 2 dogs. Why? A: I like dogs

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What happens if a guy is gay? You call him Verl.

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Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: ...... Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: ...... Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: ...... Person 1 leaves because no one is answering the door

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What is 0+0? 0, I am not dumb

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This is a haiku The second line is longest Hippopotamus.

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knock knok whos there? Jacob Jacob who? U know, your friend!

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Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A little boy who can't reach the doorbell.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the farmer lacked basic fence mending skills

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Your mother is so fat that she is highly likely to get heart disease and/or diabetes.

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what has small feet? a human being with a tiny proximity of feet matter.

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whats 1 + 1? 2

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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What smells like curry and bombs? A dead Indian

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When did the Chinese guy go to the dentist? At the correct time he had been allotted.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she was deaf and blind and would have been a hazard to herself and others.

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. What do you call a man who gets a check in the mail every month for nothing? black

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How do you get a blonde out of a tree? Shoot her in the head.

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what did the clinically depressed man last post on twitter? "Oh cruel world, i finally lost all faith in the good of humanity. I am unloved and irrelevant to all. I know nobody will miss me, but goodbye anyway. #suicide " nobody followed him and saw the post and he died alone with nobody at his funeral.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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