How do you make people run? When someone is behind you, hold the door open and wait.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, ask the chicken.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His sons funeral was on the other side.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have altzeimer's, Cheese on toast

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How do you piss off a gypsy? Curse at him

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Three men walk into a Bar.... You'd have thought at least one of them would have seen it !

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Whats the best ab workout? Solly Twist

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knock, knock who's there owls owls who thats right owls who

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A politician from the National Country Party keeps interjecting - "I'm a country member, i'm a country member' "yes we remember" says Gough whitlam

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven hundred and eighty nine.

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god walks into a bar orders a beer and then remembers he's not real

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A homeless man walks into a bar. The bartender felt bad and gave him $20.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always so happy? Probably becuase he's a highly succesfull multi-million dollor recording artist with 26 grammys and 1 oscar

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It got shot. Why did the 2nd koala fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first one. Why did the 3rd koala fall out of the tree? It thought it was a race to the bottom? Why did the 4th koala fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the 5th koala fall out of the tree? No one knows, not even the guy who made this joke.

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What do you call two dog? dogs

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a terrorist walks into a bank and says "gimme all the money or ill kill you" the bank owner said you and what army the terrorist said this army and no one came in buuuut he opened hi jacket and there was a bomb straped to him then he exploded it Buuuuuuut in hell he thinks hang on a minute i didn't get my money oh for goodness sake Buuuuuuuuuuut in heaven the bank man said i still live in a wonderfull place and anywhay we had no money left and i was going to suiside soooooooooooooooooooooooo you done me a favour and if i would of suiside i could of gone to hell but you killed me so i edidnt go to hell buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut you did lol by the way i just wasted your time

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MR MR WHO?? MR MC CANN

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What's plastic and kids turn it on... A xbox.

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How did the pig solve the Arab-Israeli Conflict? It didn't. It further exacerbated the problem. The Arab-Israeli Conflict is a multifaceted geopolitical quagmire based on long-simmering religious, ethnic and territorial tensions. A pig is too stupid to understand the root causes of the problem, let alone provide a viable solution. In retrospect, it seems ridiculous to have entrusted a pig with such an important diplomatic mission.

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How do you hack into someone's computer? A few good hits with a hatchet should do the trick

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88

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Sad reality is that, you have a tab open just for ponies don't you?

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What's brown an sticky Shit

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why shouldnt you throw a rock at a black guy on a bike? Just because its not very nice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops