What do you call it when the Doctor goes back in time to meet himself? A pair o' Docs. What do you call it when Shaquille O'Neil goes back in time to meet himself? Shaquille O'Neil can't go back in time.

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One

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What did the astronaut say to his girlfriend?

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69

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Why don't you see elephants find in trees? Because most trees can't hold an elephants weight.

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What did the star say to the asteroid? Nothing, astral bodies can't talk, you dipshit.

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why did the other chicken cross the road peer pressure

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In soviet Russia - some people were poor.

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So 2 black guys walk into a bar and the bartender looks around and say "what will you fine gentlemen have?" and they order and payed their tab and could not have been more courteous, amirite?

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Knock knock. "Who's there?" I am deaf. "I am deaf who?" What?

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How do you make a sandwich? Go into the kitchen and make a sandwich.

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What do you call a black man standing on a sidewalk? Preferably race shouldn't matter in this situation, but in most social circumstances the man would be described as black to elucidate the person being depicted.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A bench is created to be used by multiple people for sitting down or other forms of rest, and does not have consciousness or the complex body systems of humans and other animals.

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What's a thither? My sister with a lisp.

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Q. A black man and a Mexican are in the back of a car. Who's driving? A. The police officer

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Do you want to hear a joke, Women's rights

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What did the farmer say when he couldnt find his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

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What is worse than a little girl being raped by an old man? The accidental firing of nuclear weapons at the US and the US responding by launching nuclear missiles at an unknown enemy then assuming that targeting everyone will kill the enemy. Thus bringing an unprecedented and abrupt end to the world, in a cataclysmic nuclear holocaust. Leaving that little girl to be raped by mutated creatures - that survived the mass destruction - and eventually being consumed by those creatures.

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A Priest and A Rabbi Walk Into The Bar. Ouch.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

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Whats the difference between a horse and a snake? A snake is poisons, a horse is not.

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Q:What did the cat say to the dog? A: Meow

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Bob: Do you know the difference between beer and women? John: No Bob: Oh

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What did the blonde do at the WTC on 9/11? Die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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