There was 2 friends named Shutup and Trouble. They were camping and Trouble got lost in the woods. Shutup called the police. Shutup: Hello, is this 9-1-1 my friend is missing. Police: What is your name sir? Shutup: Shut up Police: What? Shutup: Shut up Police: What did you say? Shutup: I said Shut Up Police: Hey are you looking for TROUBLE? Shutup: Yes! Police: Guess what? We found him, he's safe in the station. We will have a officer come by a drop him off. Have a good day Mr. Shutup Shutup: Thank you

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Why doesn't McDonald's sell hot dogs? They don't want to advertise for McWeenies.

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"Knock-knock." "Come in, sorry that the doorbell is broken."

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I believe you, if something is possible, I know you can do it. I tried lucid dreaming once, but I felt like I began floating and that was no fun, scared me. I am pretty good at hypnotizing others, myself not so much.

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My mumma your mumma live down the street 18,19 marble street out came you and out came me but then your mumma died from her pee

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why did the geman man hit the jewish man? because the jewish man swung a punch at the german man so it was an act of self defense.

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How do you make a blond cry? Rape her

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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What do you call a man with no legs? A leg-less man.

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So seriously you have never ever played videogames before?

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A man walked into a bar with his parrot, a guy says 'That's a nice pet where did you get it?' 'From africa' The parrot said.

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what is brown and shaped like a tree?

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Mamma why did the kids make fun of me today? I dont know.

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lol

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Joker: Why so serious Man: My mom and dad just got hit by a car, and you just stabbed my friend in the face with a pencil. Joker: Oh well im sorry to hear that.

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What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Get it repaired.

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What did the facial stylist charge Jack Sparrow to get his ears pierced? A buc-an-ear!

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Martin Skrtel walks into a bar The bar breaks, Martin then pays for any damages caused

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How could they tell Michael Jackson was dead? He showed no vital signs.

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I leave you with a riddle, I am round. I am an orange. What am I?

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What's red, white and blue? You're mother on her period after she had sex. I don't know where the blue came from.

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HEY EVERYONE THUMBS UP!

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how how does a black man jump. the same way anyone else does

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WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS ROAD?!!! cause he was silly

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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