Your mother is so nice, I saw her while grocery shopping and we pleasantly chatted. She also remembered my name and invited me to come over sometime and have a snack.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

you: have you seen the movie constapated them:no you:its because it hasen't come out yet

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What did the man say when he realized that he was late for work? "Shit, I'm late for work."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the difference between a black guy and a bucket of chicken? A lot.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a person with one eye and no arms? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

is this the krusty krab? no, this is patrick.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How do you make a plumber cry? You steal his princess

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man walks into a house, and the next day was taken to the hospital for a minor concussion and a possible vision deficiency.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats Yellow and has arms. A lemon i lied about the arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock knock *silence* Knock knock *silence* KNOCK KNOCK! Hey! Can't you read the sign?! It's says "Do Not Disturb!"

thumb_up thumb_down -43

What did the girl say when the boy asked her out? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

kyle dosnt eat dick...

thumb_up thumb_down -22

People with cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Whats funnier than a massacre? Everything.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why couldn't the little kid get to sleep? His dog was on fire

thumb_up thumb_down -42

What's worse than scraping your knee? Getting a needle shoved into your penis and the needle hitting your scrotum so that you are in serious agony for hours and finding out you cannot have kids because of it.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Q: How much old could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Wood A:10.6 cubic metes

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What kind of fire alarm does a zebra not like? One that doesn't work

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q-Jetski A-How is olive oil made?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the text-to-speech reader say when the 12 year old boy played around with it? "Ass ass ass ass, ass ass ass ass."

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Who doesn't love finding money in your pocket when you go to put your pants on? a rape victim

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A black man and a mexican jump off a building at the same time, who lands first? Who cares?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man crawled up to a water fountain but fell because he had no legs

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what did the maker of anti jokes website say while reading some of the jokes on here? these people r idiots. and he lived happily ever after. then died. Good one

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops