yo mama so fat she had to eat healthy food and exercise daily

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Being cut in half by a human while you were trying to eat an apple

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Why did the plane leave late? Because they were out of Kellogg's® Breakfast Cereal.

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What did the chair say when someone sat on it? Nothing. The person's butt covered the chair's mouth.

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Do you know what hurts? An abortion.

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My wife is going to the Caribbean Jamaica? No, St Lucia

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What did the horse get for Christmas? Starvation and neglect because its owner has been dead for three months of old age and he was a raging, angry, achoholic so no one cared if hey was dead and/or bothered to see if he was alive

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What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? There are many, no human being is exactly alike.

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Why does the man hate his job? He thinks working sucks?

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The next person to submit a 'roses are red' 'joke', is cursed to always prematurely ejaculate from here until eternity

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A man walks into a bar, asks the bartender for a beer. Bartender says, "That'll be $3.50." Man says,"The joke maker did not explain monetary transactions."

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Roses are red, my name is Dave. This poem makes no sense, microwave

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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what do you call a man with three eyes and eleven fingers? his name

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Once upon a time Jimmy was walking home from school. Jimmy was then confronted by a a pedophile so he suddenly ate himself.

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Why did a jew die? It got killed by a nazi.

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Your mommas so fat that she has developed adult onset diabetes.

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What did one pare say to the other ... ... WE MAKE A GREAT PARE!!!

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Why did Sally Fall Off The Swing? She had no arms Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally

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A duck walked into a bar. He asked for a drink and the bartender gave him it

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What you do if you poo out a slug? Eat it.

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Whats long hard and has seaman? A submarine!

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Two men walk into a bar. You would have thought that the second one would have seen it.

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Why did the girl buy the watermelon? To eat it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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