What did the jacket say to the girl? Zip me up wait why am I talking

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What's worse than finding a worm in you apple? The holocaust.

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two peanuts walked into a bar they both sat down and immediately left once they found out the bar was serving peanuts.

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The people who posted those extremely long "jokes" down there have no life.

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What do you call a blue duck that speaks? A dream.

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Yo Mama is so fat cuz.. She has accumulated Obesity and needs your help to be rehabilitated due to the fact that she is at a high risk of heart attack, cancer, type 2 diabetes, and Etc. Try to motivate her to decrease food intake and increase physical activity. Thankyou

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People with the best sense of humor visit anti-joke.com.

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Knock knock. Hello dear. Come in.

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How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

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What happened to the black guy that rammed his ankle against the bed frame? Yelled profusely until it stopped hurting.

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Why do mexicans like tacos? Because tacos are a very well liked food and they happen to taste good

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Why didn't the little boy hear the ice cream truck? He was deaf.

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"Doctor, Doctor I think I am a pair of curtains" The man was swiftly referred to the psychiatric ward.

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why does big tom run the dock because he knows how to speak to skiiers

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because it had no arms. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it had no legs. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because its not suppost to be in the tree. Why did susy fall off her bike? Because she was hit by 2 monkeys and a refrigerator!

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Its linked with the process of extracting uranium isotopes, but lets change the subject, with that said, I hope you can help me with some management advice such as the one you gave me, I will of course pay you.

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The trick to making a good anti joke is having anticlimactic ending.

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roses are red violets are blue ill cut your dick off and use it as glue

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What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? a boyscout comes back from camp.

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What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A person with light, yellowish hair who has a tragic genetic deformity.

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John: Do you like Cake? Sue: Yes. John: Alright.

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What's funny about being adopted? Your parents never loved you

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DIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDIEDIEDIEIDEIDIEIDEIIDIE DIE all of you Hahahaha

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit it in the face with an axe

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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