Why couldn't little Billy jump? He was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +176

Where do cows go for entertainment? Nowhere, most are slaughtered, processed, and eaten by humans.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

2 beavers enter a bar, destroy all the stool legs, and leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock knock Who's there? Bill Oh hai come in

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What would George Washington be doing if he was alive today? Scratching and screaming at the bottom of his coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Take part of what?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

There are 2 muffins sitting in an oven. Neither of the muffins say anything because muffins can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a black man on the moon? A problem What do you call 10 black men on the moon? A problem What do you call 100 black men on the moon? A problem What do you call ALL the black men on the moon? A very serious problem. We should probably try and rescue them.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was it okay for the people in the hospital to laugh at the narcoleptic patient? It wasn't. The patients were treated because of moral obligations, but the doctors that laughed were either fired or warned, depending on if they had previous reports of exploitation of patients.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man finds a lamp and rubs it and a genie pops out and says he'll grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish I had a trillion dollars for which I can buy whatever my heart desires" and poof he gets it. The man says "I wish I had a beautiful wife for which I can love forever till the end of time." and poof he gets it. Finally, his 3rd wish he says "I wish I have my own country for which I can rule as king and become the greatest ruler in history." and poof he gets it.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

this is not a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man walks into a bar, orders a drink, drinks it, and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did one cancer patient say to the other? Nothing, both of them were dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

One fish... Two fish... Red fish... I have AIDs

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many watermelons did the black man have? Too many to count, he was a farmer and his primary crop was watermelons.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why is Adam saying numbers? He is a maths teacher.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

If life gives you melons you're dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

A Native American walks into a bar. The bartender notes that this is statistically unlikely because Native Americans are part of a small minority in the local area, but is accepting of all people so still serves him a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

gay marriage.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the blonde call her pet zebra? Isaac

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Libraries.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Whats faster that a Mexican with your TV? A speeding bullet.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops