why did sally fall off the swing? because she was a fish.

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What do you call a man with no arms and half an eye? Larry -Jack Sparrow

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So there was this cracker sitting on a bench. A pigeon picked it up and flew off. Probably ate it afterwards.

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Q: What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas. A: A specially modified coffin.

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Q: whats red, spins, and screams? A: a baby in a blender

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Q: What is the difference between a Ginger and a shoe? A: A shoe has a sole

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phil - "honey, why is the picture quality so bad" Phil was watching a toaster

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If Santa's not real, then who pees on the tree every morning?

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Why do people poke people on facebook? Because they have no friends and will die alone

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What did the midget say to the leprechaun? Nothing.....midgets don't usually converse with leprechauns....and leprechauns aren't real.

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How much cocain did Charlie sheen do? Enough to kill 2 and a half men

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2 guys walk into a bar the first gys says id like a beer the second guy says me to

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how do you know your sister is on her period? you dads dick taste like blood.

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Whats worst than the holocaust? What? 6million Jews.

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Why is Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven is a psychopath, that's why.

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Why do asians get good grades? Because they study very hard and want to achieve success so they can provide for their families.

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What is a Mexican's favorite restaurant? While the term "Mexican" encompasses a wide range of individuals and individual predilections, the most common cibarious preference would likely be a food that is reminiscent of his or her homeland; that is, what we refer to as Mexican food. An authentic nearby joint sporting such provisions would likely be the most common preference, but, as this description can only be traced on the local scale, a specific restaurant that covers a wider range of locations would be a more appropriate answer. Among the top choices are Taco Time and Taco Del Mar.

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A black man goes to his dentist appointment and the doctor asks, have you brushed your teeth today laderius? the black man replies: Yes, but my name is not laderius

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A man walks into a bar, asks for a drink. He then realises that it was a metal bar and not one that serves alcoholic beverages. He then ponders the mysteries of the world and the universe.

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A horse walks into a bar. Being unable to comprehend human emotion, he shits all over the floor.

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what did Johnny get for Halloween. ebola

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What did my dad say when i knocked over the christmas tree? nothing, my father is dead

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how do you make money? you roba bank! :)

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A hiker gets lost on a trail and ends up wondering deep into the woods. He comes upon an amish farm. He knocks on the door and an amish man answers. The hiker explains his predicament, and the amish man says "sure you can stay in barn, but promise me one thing, don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course I won't". He then goes to the barn. Right before the hiker falls asleep. The amish farmer comes in and says "make sure you don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course not". So the next morning the hiker is rested, well fed and is about to leave when the amish man approaches and says, "Thank you being decent and christian like."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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