We are few Nero, too few, if I want to split my money with you, would it help you find true happiness?

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What did the racist black man say to the white man? Nothing they both died in a car accident.

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What is red and smells like brown feces? Bloody feces

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Your momma's so fat, that if the word for fat was "plachow" I'd say "yeah your momma, she's a little bit plachow."

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Why isn't Juley at school today? Oh Her father chopped off her arms and legs, gagged her, ripped out both eyes and threw her in a lake tied to cinderblocks!

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Your momma is so fat when she heard about the quater pounder she thought it was for a quarter.

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Why was the gorilla crying? His brother died

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1 + 1 = 2 If it was equal to 11 the problem would be impossible

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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Jerry Sandusky and two other men are on a cruise ship, when it suddenly starts to sink. The first man says, "save the children!" The second man says, "screw the children!" Jerry Sandusky drowned.

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Q) why did jimmy kick the bucket. A) Because his dad is an alcoholic and Beats him to the point of near death, so He takes his anger out by kicking anatomit Objects such as a bucket.

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why did the two girls fight? Because they were mad at eachother.

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how did the fat man survive the plane crash? he didn't, he died like everyone else.

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What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory? Quality control or some other function.

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What is Wonder Woman's drug of choice? Heroine.

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How many average men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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What did little Timmy do in the Library? Read

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What does the kid with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A: arms and legs

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Q: knock knock who is there A;dunno go check

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To mama so old, she might die soon.

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Who won the race across the highway, the Mexican or the Frenchman? Neither, as they were struck by a mac truck when attempting to run across the highway and were both killed instantly on impact.

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Why do women have boobs? So you've got something to look at while you talk to them. That's sexist... I'm sorry.

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What happens when you combine a chainsaw and a baby? 30 years to life

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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