"Knock Knock" "You know the doorbell is working?" "Oh, well, you know I'm here now. May I come in?" "Yes, have a cup of tea"

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Roses are red Violets are red I'm bleeding quite profusely and should probably go to the hospital.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? It's hard to say, as this number depends on a large number of factors including the average area covered by one lick, the pH of saliva, the solubility of Tootsie Pops, the temperature of both the saliva and the Tootsie Pop, and the amount of saliva deposited on the Tootsie Pop after each lick. This is not to mention all the manufacturing irregularities that may occur during production, and varying tongue shapes and solvency properties of saliva.

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Guess what I saw... Wood, I'm a carpenter.

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Q:Why did the black man shoot the white man? A:The black man happened to be extremely good at paintball.

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Roses are Red ?And sometimes yellow ? My mother is mellow ? Billy you have cancer ?

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A man walks into a bar with a monkey...I forget the rest but your mother is a hor.

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Q: Why did the baby cross the road A: He was stapled to the chicken

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John has 32 candy bars, he eats 28..what does he have now? Diabetes.

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If you posten bout Kony I feel bad for you son. Cause ive snached 99 children and you pst saved none jesse

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What's the difference between you and a polar bear? I don't hate the polar bear

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A: Can I get a tall white Russian. B: No. A: Why not? B: Because this is a Barnes and Nobles. However, we do have a Starbucks, and I can offer you a venti caramel iced coffee"

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Yo momma so fat,she went on a diet and now exersizes regularly

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What has wheels and flies? An Airplane

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Why did the man with every known fatal disease die? Old age.

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Whats Black and White and Red all over? A white boy who just got jumped, with sever bruises left lying in a pool of his own blood.

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Rose are Red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The middle one is for you.

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A Jew, a Mexican, and a Black guy all walk into a bar. Bartender says: "Get the f*ck out."

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So, a man walks into a bar. His alcoholic habits are slowly tearing apart his marriage.

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On a scale of 1 to Chris Brown how angry are you?

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How many dead babies can you fit in a child's swimming pool? 9 (Trust me, you won't be able to squeeze the tenth one in there.)

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cum on guys, gay jokes are mean

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What do you call a gay, black, Muslim physician? Doctor.

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Whats cooler than cool? Ice Cold.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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