What do you call a 2 storied house ?

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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What's green and fuzzy and has legs that would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table

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What is pink and smells like green paint? Pink paint

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What did the priest say to the kid? You can tell your dog but nobody else, ok?

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Why did the Squirrel swim across the river upside down? To keep its nuts dry.

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so a boy walks into a bar he was underage and escorted out.

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Cosmopolitan magazine releases an issue without any sex tips.

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

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In mediavel times :A Jew rapes his mom.... He is promptly taken out of society and thrown into a lions den due to his act of imortality.

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Whats funnier than 24. ... DEEZ NUTS.

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why couldn't the blonde change the light bulb? because he chose the wrong sized screwdriver from his tool box

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I dream of a world where chickens can cross the road and not have their motives questioned.

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what did your mom say to you? go fuck your self you stupid greedy shit. you start crying later in your bedroom, then your mom comes with a bag full of your fathers semen, and dildos. and forces you to drink the entire bag.

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Something other than a Human Being walks into a bar. The bartender then makes a rational decision about how to handle the situation.

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What do you get when you cross a Mexican and an African? A baby.

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Three men of varying ethnic backgrounds jump off a building and yell different things as they fall to their death. They were all very good friends and neglected to have had a trip sitter watch them take hallucinogenics. The group of school children below the building are traumatized for a good portion of their lives.

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What do you call a homosexual with no legs or arms. Jerry

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Why did the Smartie get fired from the M&M factory? For throwing out all the W&Ws

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Q: Playstation 4 or Xbox One? A: Both of them are specialized desktop computers used to play video games. It makes no sense to argue or attempt to make any distinction, as they are the exact same thing.

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what do you call a guy with no arm and legs laying by the door? Matt! what do you call a guy with no arms and legs floating on water Bob!

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a blonde and a brunet are in an elevator. a man walks in the brunet says to the blonde "he has dandruff, he needs head and shoulders.' then the blonde says "we can give him head, but how can we give him shoulders."

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What do you call a joke that isn't funny? A joke that isn't funny.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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