If Johnny has 4 dollars and Clarissa has 7 dollars, how many dollars do they have all together? 11 dollars Knock knock Who's There? Johnny Johnny who? Johnny and Clarrisa, all together we have 11 dollars.

A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

How do you get a fat man to drop a brownie? Make fun of him until he kills himself, and then drops the brownie.

Why did the chicken cross the road? That is none of your concern as it invades his freedom of privacy.

what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

What do you call a mexican sleeping in a car tired.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

Your mother is overweight. This is largely due to her sedentary lifestyle.

How do you make spongebob come to Life? You kiss him????????

why is pie good. because it just is.

What boy with no arms get on his birthday? Lego.

You know what they say about fat thumbs? They give a lot of accidental comment likes on statuses.

You just read this ..

Ich bin nicht der Anführer

What did chad do when his friends came over? I'm not much of a fiction man personally.

"Look me in the eye" said Cyclops.

Chinese, Japanese, dirty knees - have nothing at all in common.

Q: what's blue and kills you when it falls from the sky? A: a whale no shit

What is Ciaran Wilkie Gay

Why did the blonde kill herself? She was diagnosed with major depression and was dealing with a lot of traumatic events in her life.

How do you get 100 babies into a bucket? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla chips.

What did the pepperoni say to the pepper We are both tacos

Call jets pizza at 8637090999 and say porr cisero is still stuck and shit will go down

How many Weasleys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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