Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

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Knock Knock! The man inside chooses not to answer the door and the caller walks away.

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Haikus are easy But they don't always make sense. Refrigerator.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple

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69

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what did one gagged man say to the other gagged man? nothing he was gagged

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Buy a SHOTGUN!!!!

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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Why did the Hispanic man have drugs in his pocket? He had just gone to the pharmacy.

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? It isn't numbers are not sentiment objects therefore incapable of feeling fear

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i knew this one arab, who was so arab that there was nothing funny about him

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Why did the whale cross the road? He was being chased by the Japanese.

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Why didn't Kurt Cobain drive to work on Monday? He killed himself.

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Some people devote their life to talking in their head. Jesus christ.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have alzheimers. Cheese on toast.

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What's the difference between a duck? Both legs are of equal length, especially the right.

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What happens when you eat too many breadsticks? You get constipated.

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A baby seal walks into a club

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There was a priest, a rabbi, and a shaman. All three of three of them walked into a bar. They began a heated debate over the benefits of their healthcare plan, payed the tab on their drink, then proceeded to drive home in their Toyota Prius.

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Why was Rosa Parks forced to sit in the back of the bus? Every seat wsa taken, and the back was her only option

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water, hydrated silica, glycerin, sorbitol, PVM/MA copolymer, sodium lauryl sulfate, flavor, cellulose gum, sodium hydroxide, propylene glycol, carrageenan, sodium saccharin, titanium dioxide all adds up to colgate. SO AS A MATTER OF FACT, CHEESE PLUS PIE IS CHICKEN. CONSIDERING THE FACT THAT I LIKE SAYING CHEESE, JACK AND JILL WENT UP THE HILL BECAUSE THEY WERE BAGELS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What's the best time to go to the dentist? When your tooth breaks or you need braces.

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Why did the boy get hit by the ice cream truck? The driver of the ice cream truck was drunk

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MAGHBERRY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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