Why Did Suzie fall of the swing? She has Polio and will die the Next Day

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what did the farmer say to the cowgirl that made her positive that she had a weird laugh? you have a weird laugh.

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what's an advantage of breaking every bone in your body? nothing, you're screwed.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "What'll it be?" The man quietly gazes out at the other people in the bar. He continues to do this for a while, until eventually the bartender calmly taps him on the shoulder to get his attention, and the man turns to look over at him. "What can I get you today?" He asks the man. "What?" the man replies. Turns out he's deaf. Who knew?

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How do you kill Helen Keller? With a gun.

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An Englishman, a Frenchman, and a Viking are all fighting over a piece of land. The piece of land was the whole of England and this was the beginning of the Noman conquest in 1066.

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There's a skunk and a lawyer standing on the side of the road, what's the difference? There are tire marks infront of the skunk.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not Madeline McCann.

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why did one crayon give another crayon the silent treatment? because they are crayons, unable to speak

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What did Goldilocks ask the Three Bears? Nothing, bears are aggressive mammals and killed her before she could speak.

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A couple elopes in Vegas. The next morning while eating breakfast the woman tells her husband she thinks it was a mistake, using her alcoholism as an excuse for her inability to make practical decisions. The man proceeded to cry and called his attorney to arrangea proper divorce.

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how many horses does it take to piss on a cat 17 beccause rape isnt real in somalia

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cut it out ..but i dont have a scissor

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Why did the cookie go to the doctors? It didn't because cookies are Inanimate and are incapable of mobility

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what is similar between a mexican and a bench? they are both illeageal. except the bench

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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So there's this guy, and he's trying to screw in a lightbulb, right? Well, he did it. Hoorah. His wife was proud.

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A jew was walking down the street what did he see? the holocaust

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What's the difference between a black guy and a wet towel? The towel doesn't kick when you hang it

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why is 5 afraid of 6? it isnt

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Stephen Hawkings viewed porn as a child

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This is a joke.

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What did the orphan boy get for Christmas? Exactly what he had asked for because UNICEF do a wonderful job.

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A semi-coherent black man was wandering down the street toward an open garbage receptacle. Immediately an angry, filthy raccoon jumped up, hissing and baring its fangs, as if to defend its territory against the startled negro. This happened four times in a row. Each time it was either a negro, a mexican, a crippled kid or a person of jewish ancestry. Each time the raccoon hissed viciously. Coincidence? No. The raccoon was obviously very hungry and attempting to defend its last remaining refuge of territory from the ever-increasing encroachment of man's filth into the formerly natural and pristine spaces where wildlife once lived. He is now reduced to hissing at the ethnics and the cripples, just to eek out a pitiful subsistence on trash.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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