roses are red violets are blue holy sh*t slendermans behind you

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Where did Lucy go after being hit by a train? Well, the results of this question are somewhat difficult to pinpoint, but here is a generalized ratio model. 47% of Lucy went underneath the trains wheels and was left behind, crushed into the railway sleepers. 33% was thrown aside and discarded around the SIDES of the track. 19% was carried on the front of the train, into the next station where it fell off as soon as the train stopped. 1% was found in Mount Everest.

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You're mama's SO stupid that when she applied to college, they were happy to help.

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What did the stuffed animal say to the human after the human said hi? Nothing, after all stuffed animals can't talk

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Roses are red Violets are blue I look down My pants are brown.

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How many children does it take to kill a homocidal killer? None. Children should not attempt such a dangerous task.

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what is the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

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What did the black cat say to the tabby cat?? Meow

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roses are red violets are blue i'm a schizophrenic and so am i

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Q: What's worse than a bee sting? A: Two bee stings. Q: What's worse than two bee stings? A: Three bee stings. Q: What's worse than three bee stings? A: Rape.

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ow

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Why'd Sally fall of the swing She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not sally

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A wise man once said a journey of a thousand steps starts with one step. The wise man also smoked weed and starved to death in a cave.

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Wy did Bryan eet his Dumbelllle? Anderson fell asleep again

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What is black and white and red all over? a nun that got raped.

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Why did 4 Christians, 2 Jews, 1 Muslim, 1 Buddhist and an atheist squeeze into a Honda Accord? One of their co-workers at Appleby's made a compelling case for the financial and environmental benefits of carpooling.

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How do you teach your daughter to stop wetting the bed? Cut her best friends eye-lids off at her birthday party.

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A devout Christian dies– Peter winks as his soul passes through the impenetrable Gates of Heaven. Everyone is gay and– like, gay as in happy– Homosexuals aren't allowed in.

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What's the hardest part about watching a 2 year old get hit by a bus? Trying not to laugh.

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what did one deer say to the other? nothing, he was shot during hunting season.

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What do cows in Africa say? Moo

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What is black, white, and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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How do you make a Fireman cry? You kill his family in a fire.

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Knock, Knock... Whose there? No one... you have no friends.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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