what do you do when you see a 40 ft tall gorilla? WHO CARES, RUN!

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What did the alchoholic get for his birthday? Nothing. His alchohol abuse split up is family and now he is alone.

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Why could't Jerry go to school on the Wednesday? Because he died on the Monday.

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I hate long jokes -_-

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What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff!

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det va en tjej som va inne på ica och handlade, framme vid kassan la hon fram en banan, en billys pizza, ett litet paket bröd och en mjölk. -är du singel eller? frågar killen i kassan -ja hur visste du det, svarar hon -du e skitful ju

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What's black, white & red all over? A cow in a slaughter house.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colourblind.

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What do you call a boy with no arms or legs Mat

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Whais red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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A man walks into the doctors and he says to the doctor 'my leg hurts when I poke it like this'. The doctor replies 'don't poke it like that then'.

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if i have 2 bananas, and you have 2 bananas, then together we have 4 bananas what are the chances?

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What do you call a person at your door? Whatever his name happens to be.

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why is the name Brian so funny BECAUSE IT IS!

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yo mammas so fat when she gets cut gravy pours out

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How many Chinese people does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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Your mom is so fat she beat up snorlax from pokémon, than got charged for abbuse because it is illegal to use physical violence on pokémon unless in a battle or in attempt to capture one.

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Why couldnt Helen Keller drive? Because She was Blind you sexist asshole

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How do you get a bunch of Pokémon onto a bus? You tell them to ride a bus

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A man walks into a bar, and immediately sees a person with a big orange head seated near the back. He asked the bartender "why does that man have a big orange head?" "Buy him a drink and maybe he'll tell you." So the man bought him a drink and asked the guy with the big orange head why he has a big orange head, and he told him this story: "I was traveling in the sahara desert 10 years ago when I found a pure gold lamp in the sand. I rubbed the sand off so I could read what was on the side when a genie popped out and gave me 3 wishes. First I wished for many riches, and at once gold was all around my feet. Exited, I wished for the most beautiful wife in the world, and right in front of me appeared the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. Third, I wished for a big orange head.

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68

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A pilot. *BOOM* Never mind, he was a terrorist.

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i just got all five seasons of big bang theory in the mail for xmas... i'm divorcing my wife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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