Why didn't the door open? Because it was locked

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Gay's rights

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A man quites his job to open a coffee shop which has been a dream of his for years, The shop does well with a healthy supply of customers and a steady income,The man is now financially stable.

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How do you stop a bus from hitting you?? You throw small children to impede the progress of the bus.

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I think my son might be gay. He's started to listen to Justin Bieber, and last week I walked in on him engaging in penetrative anal sex with one of his friends.

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How can you tell a baby lost it's voice? It doesn't scream when you staple it to a ceiling fan and turn it on.

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why was 6 afraid of 9? because 7 ate 9 and 6 is afraid of ghosts

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How did Ronald McDonald die He was hit by a big mac

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What is worse than finding a real joke on Anti-joke.com? Starving children in Africa.

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What do you call a Jewish lawyer, who is happily married to a woman, but goes and sees a man on the side? A gay Jewish lawyer who cheats on his fake wife.

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How did the ruttabaga believe itself to be a ruttabaga? Because it was in fact NOT a ruttabaga, but some self-aware individual with delusions.

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Why do women have boobs? So they can feed their newborn children without paying for expensive formula

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There once was a girl who took away my source of entertainment. Her name was Nicole.

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Yeah, and speaking about spiderman, I got some weird senses, when I get stressed things begin seeming slower, and gets a weird blur effect, not sure what it is, but if you know what "bullet hell video games are" Technically games where you play as a tiny spaceship and lots of bullets fly around, I was always awesome at those games as a kid, because the more stress I felt while playing, the slower my perception of time felt.

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What did the boy eat for lunch? - His mother.

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Why did Elliot Spitzer cross the road? To go have sex with a hooker.

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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Velcro. What a rip off.

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How do you leave a man in suspense...

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Whats the difference between an oven and a fridge One is hot and the other is cold

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A man walks into a bar, Esept it wasn't a bar and he was running.

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what's brown and sticky? a stick.

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An escalade with 5 black men crashes off a cliff and all of them die. this is terrible. an escalade seats 7.

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A horse walks into a bar. The impact fractures his skull immediately, knocking him unconscious. He then dies from the resulting brain damage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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