What do a Shark and a lemon have in common? They can both swim, except for the lemon

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Why was the blonde so stupid? He had dyslexia and to make fun of his hardship would truly be a hardship of human morals.

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Why did the Black man cross the street? To get to the other side.

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when life gives you skittles you take a handful and throw it at someone face and yell taste the rainbow

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EVERYBODY THUMB THIS JOKE DOWN

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What do you get when you cross a leopard and Chuck Norris? I don't know. Probably something like a furry yellow Chuck Norris with black spots and sharp teeth.

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch."

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -None, they will pay for somebody else to do it

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There's a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead who sit next to each other in college. They are good students and regularly do their homework.

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Why did the Democrat cross the road? Because the glorious leader ordered it for all minions

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Knock knock

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My Texting Convos: "Heyy!" "Hi!" "Watz up?" "nm hbu?" "Same here!" "Koolio!(: So wrud?" "Nothing. Just texting you!" "Yea! Same! I'm so bored! And tired!" "Ikr!" "Yupp!" *No one answers. When this is what you really want: "I love you soooo much!" "Awwwwh!<3 I loe you too!" "Do you wanna go out?(;" "YES!!(:" "ily<3" "iyl2<3" *convo goes on forever(: Moral: Purple tomatoes are books of yellow buttons on hands(;

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society

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Once upon a time, You have a nice rack...

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What do you call a black man in a suit and tie? Presumably affluent

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Whay lawrence pearson ir r8 gay

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What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A Drumset.

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If you watch a pregnancy backwards, it is about a baby that is inserted between the legs of a woman and is slowly broken down for energy and the remains are finally sucked up by a man's genitals. There isn't a joke.

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(you will only get this if you play minecraft) whats green and looks like a penis? a creeper!

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once there was a man named steve. he happily sniffs pot every day after work. especially on sundays. one day, his family finds him sniffing pot. they are disgusted and disappointed in his bad decisions. so they join him

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Why is it a shame if a kid gets run over by a car? I like the newspaper headlines about stabbings better.

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What disease did Harry Styles get? 1Infection! (if you don't know, Harry Styles is 1direction's manager)

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How do you get a one armed Polish man out of a tree? With a ladder, he needs help.

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What is worse than failing a class? Dress up for grown-ups.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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