Why did Rihanna sing "to the left, to the left"? Because people usually sing in songs

WARNING!: THIS JOKE MAY BE OFFENSIVE::: three mexicans wanted to cross the united states borders when they were greeted by a border guard with a gun. the guard tells the three mexicans that if they wanted to pass the border, they will have to do as he says, to which the 3 of them agrees. the guard tells them to go gather a pair of fruits, so like that each of them went their own way to go get some fruits. the first mexican came back with a pair of apples. The guard orders him to stick both of them up his ass and if he makes a sound, the guard will kill him. The mexican obeys and sticks the apple halfway when he screamed. the guard killed him. The second mexican came back with a pair of cherries. The guard ordered the same thing and told him the same thing. the second mexican made 1 cherry and a half when he giggled. So he died also. when he got to heaven, he meets the first mexican. to which the 1st mexican asks, "why did you laugh? that was so easy!" and the 2nd mexican responded, "i giggled because i saw the third mexican coming with a pair of water melons."

Yo mama so dumb she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl! I'm sorry,that was just really rude of me. I've been talking to my therapist and I think this insolent behavior came from my dad. I always wanted his approval but he always liked my brother more and blah blah yak yak.....

Q: What do racists call a disgusting filthy monkey that savagely jumps around in the jungle and steals white chicks? A: The same as the rest, Donkey Kong.

have you seen the movie, Constipated? Never mind, it hasn't come out yet.

Yo mamma is so skinny, she has developed anorexia, a serious eating disorder, which not only affects her, but also the ones that she loves and cares about.

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? - Because it died.

There is more than one way to skin a cat. I used a potato skin peeler.

Why did the kid fall off is bike? He was hit by a bus.

Whats worse then getting shot in the leg? Getting shot twice in the leg

Hello we are from the church of the latter day saints.

what do you call a black man in a police car? A police officer

Whats green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree you'll die? A pool table.

Whats funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costum

What happened when the lawyer pissed all over the judge? He was thrown off the case, causing him to go home, rape his wife, and put a bullet into his child's head.

Whats worse than a gay pride parade? Genocide.

Whatsthe difference between a pile of dead babies and a chicken? Chickens don't make me laugh.

What did the mouse say to the elephant? Squeak.

When life gives you lemons, you should be wondering how "life" managed to give you those lemons.

How many Jews can fit in a VW Beetle? 2 in the front, 3 in the back, and maybe one in the trunk, but that wouldn't be very comfortable.

What's black and doesn't work? Half of Detroit.

Why did the cookie go to the hospital? It had cancer.

Roses are red. I had no clue. I like pie. So screw you.

What is funnier than this joke? Jokes with higher ratings.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...