Mac: Hi, I'm a Mac! PC: And I'm a PC. Steve Jobs died.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Penis in a butthole. Consentual Sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What happened to the blonde pregnant women? She died giving birth to her blind and mentally challenged son.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Obese penguin. It died of a heart attack.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How many jews does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the alphabetical soup spell for little Bobby? U gOt SUzie prEgnant ....... aGaiN

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How do you get the icing in the middle of a cupcake? Cupcake raper...Duh

thumb_up thumb_down -9

how come the tadpoles dad told him he can't be a nurse? he has 2 b a frog!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

So, this one time, I was at the grocery store. Man, that was nuts.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what smells like red paint but is blue paint?

thumb_up thumb_down -69

What did the boy reading a book do? Run into a pole.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have multiple personality disorder, NO YOU DON'T!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Dyeing.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

"I lost the game." Hahahahahahahahahahahaha in your face

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What's worse than the holocaust? The holocaust was one of the most terrible incidents in history there are very few things worse than.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's harder than nailing a baby to a tree? My penis whilst im doing it.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was there two girls at the movie? They wanted to see the movie together.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock Knock Who's There? No One You're Crazy

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What was the beauty pageant contestant with a bladder control problem told by the judges? You’re an 8.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did God say to Abraham? Nothing, because God doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you creep out a clown? Pet him softly and call him kitty kat while making a guttural sound that is not socially acceptable in mainstream American society.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Q. Where do snowmen keep their money? A. A snowman is an anthropomorphic snow sculpture made of frozen water. They therefore cannot earn, keep or have any use for money.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why do people play video games? Because audio games are not as fun.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops