What's black, white, and red all over??? A penguin in a blender.

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How do you know your sister is on her period? - Your dad´s dick tastes like blood.

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THIS ONE TIME MY DOG ATE A WHOLE CHEESECAKE

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Roses are black Violets are black Grass is blac- Oh wait, it's night time. I'll be back in 12 hours.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, most likely, the chicken escaped from a near by ranch or farm. Upon escaping, he may have simply wandered in the direction of the road, and hence crossed it. Or, with chickens having great curiosity, may have been attracted to something on the other side of the road and felt the urge to explore. Depending on the demographics of the area in which road was in, the chicken had different chances of being hit by an automobile. That's why.

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Why was the man sad His son got raped

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An Englishman, A Scotsman, a Welshman, an Australian, An American, A German, A Swede, A Kiwi, An Austrian, A Belgian, A Frenchman, A Chinese Guy, An Indian, A Turk, A Czech, A Canadaian, A Russian, A serbian, A Portuguese, A brazilian, An Argentine and a South African go in to a bar. The Security stops them and says "I'm sorry i can't let you in without a thai"

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What has four wheels and can fly? A flying car What else has four wheels and can fly? Another flying car

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On a deserted island in the middle of nowhere three women have just been in a horrible boat wreck. They are okay and alive. One is a lovely smart brunette. An appealing ginger. And a blond.. named Becky. They take shelter when one of them notices a shimmer in the sand. They pick it up to discover that it was a golden lamp. They rub it and a blue cloud of smoke consumes them. Then a magnificent Guinnie appears and says "You have awoken me from my 10,000 year encasement inside that lamp! I shall grant you 3 wishes to show you my sincere gratitude." The brunette wishes for a plane so she can fly home. The ginger wishes for a boat to sail back home. The blonde was lonely so she wished that the brunette and the ginger were back with her.

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what do you get when you give a man viagra? A man with an erect penis. Viagra is known to increase blood flow and vascularization in the penis, allowing for erections for people with erectile dysfunction.

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And so the Lord said unto John "Come forth and receive eternal life," but John came fifth, and won a toaster instead.

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what hurts more than a stab wound? two stab wounds

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Why don't jews believe in Jesus Because jews believe Jesus Christ was not their savior

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A six foot chicken, a horse, and a muskrat walk into a bar. They are then detained by animal control and the bar undergoes a thorough cleaning.

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he was angry and frustrated with the people in his life, and the ringing clock was the first thing he noticed in his depressed rage.

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a man checks his mypsace

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My daughter is dying of AIDS.

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What's a green tasty vegetable? None, they're vegetables.

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Why didn't Clemson accept John Burns' college application? Because John Burns was wanted for five counts of first degree murder.

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What does the ship say when it's cold? Shiver me timbers

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whats worse than nailing 8 babies to 8 trees? nailing 1 baby to 8 trees.

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A white guy, spanish guy, and a black guy jump off a roof. They were all killed on impact and their families will mourn their loss for years to come.

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the other day i was walking down the street and saw a black man carrying a tv. i thought to myself, "hey that looks like mine!" but then i was like nawwwwwww, mine's at home...... shining my shoes -_-

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What's straight and famous. Ryan Secrest I was just kidding about the stright

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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