What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

what is like a duck and quacks ? A duck.

Yo momma so fat, when she went out side in a red dress, everyone yelled "HEY, KOOL-AID!"

A Japanese man, a Canadian man and a French woman walk into a bar. They do not converse because they don't speak the same language.

I used to be an adventurer like you, Then I settled down in a quiet place in the woods with a girl and raised a family.

Whats the difference between a new ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a new ferrari in my garage.

the top 6 dictators who have died this year Moammar Gadhafi Kim Jong IL Osama bin ladden Saddam Husein Steve jobs Internet Explorer

How many ADD kids does it take to screw...

What did one black guy say to the other black guy? I haven't thought of it yet....

what did the little boy say to the man? Nothing because earlier that day his mom reminded him not to talk to strangers

Where did the watch-dog take the blind man on Saturday afternoon? Wherever the blind man wanted to go

Arsonist: Hey, did you listen my mixtape? It's really FIRE.

Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

What's the difference of a team of black people and a pile of shit? None. Kelvin Yang.

A hispanic walks down the street. ICE quickly arrests him, as he is here illegally. 5 months after deporting, he crosses the southern US border to try again.

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

You cannot invite, hire people for money and expect loyalty Red, you need to make them earn the right to work for you, merits, background checks, consistency, friend, I can help you with a lot of my own experience, what saddens me about you being the leader, is that you have a good heart. And you are naive, a dangerous combination, if anyone such as Jonas shows up again, your life may be in danger, I mean you know who I am talking about.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

A young boy trips and severly cuts his knee while running down his neighborhood street. He is promptly brought to the hospital to avoid receiving any serious infection.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The road was Catholic, and it couldn't cross itself.

A man, a woman and their child wen to a restaurant. There was a horse in it and they left. The Holocaust begun

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

A. Wanna Hear a funny joke? B. Yes! A. The WNBA.

What does a fish say when it swims into a wall? Damn

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...