What did the idiot call his pet zebra? Charlie. The fact that the man is an idiot is irrelevant.

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Why is Chuck Norris' beard so great? because he grooms it daily.

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A. Knock Knock B. ... A. Knock Knock B. ... A. DING DONG B. Who's there? A. Me, I tried knocking first but you musn't have heard me, so I rang the doorbell.

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What runs faster than a dead baby? Almost everything.

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Knock Knock Nobody Nobody who? Nobody, did you not hear what I just said.

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Q: What did the black guy say when he stubbed his toe? A: Ouch.

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If life gives you lemons, you're setting up a bad joke

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Once there was a rich man who lived in a castle on a hill. One fine morning who awoke and decided to go downstairs to make a cup of tea. As he switched on the kettle, he realised he had no tea bags, and so, went to the local shops to buy some – but when he arrived back, his magnificent castle had been burnt down to the ground. The man, obviously shocked, looked around in hope for some evidence as to who would commit this awful crime, but he saw nothing, apart from a little green man running off into the distance. The man calls insurance and they give him a mansion. One morning in the man’s fine mansion, he decided he wanted a nice cup of tea, so went downstairs, discovered he had no teabags, went to the shop to purchase some and came back to find his mansion was no more than a pile of ash. Once again he looked around and saw nothing other than a little green man running off into the distance. The man calls insurance for a second time and they give him a normal house. One morning in the man’s normal house, he feels the need for a cup of tea. But has no teabags, he goes to the shop to get some and comes back to find his normal house has burnt down. In the distance a little green man is running away. Insurance give the man a small cottage. And one morning in this small cottage, the man goes downstairs to make a cup of tea, but once again he has no teabags. Off to the shops he went to buy some but discovered, as he approached his cottage on the way home, that it had been burnt down. He looked around to see the now familiar sight of a little green man running off into the distance. Insurance give him a caravan. One morning in the caravan, the man discovers, while attempting to make a cup of tea, that he has no teabags. So, naively, he goes to the shop to get some and comes back to his caravan to find it burnt down. He looked up and saw a little green man running off into the distance. The now annoyed insurance company give the man a tent. One sunny morning in the man’s tent - he feels the need for tea, but has no teabags; he goes to the shop to buy some and arrives back at his tent to find a little green man holding a can of gasoline and some matches. The man asks: “are you the one who has been burning down all my houses?” And the little green man replies: “No.”

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what's the difference between a zebra and a horse They are spelled differently

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I rated up my joke then opened a new tab went to Anti-Jokes.com and rated it again. Problem antijokes?

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How do porcupines have sex? The male begins by urinating all over the female. He then enters her from behind and proceeds to thrust until the act is completed.

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Whats better than throwing a baby off a building? Catching it with a pitchfork.

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maddie latino

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knock knock who's there? It's Jim we haven't seen each other since college Why hello there come on in

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what's better than being stabbed in the testicles with a biro? the Silversun Pickup's album Neck of the Woods

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why do they call it history? Women didn't do shit

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roses are red, violets are blue, open your legs and give me an hour.

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Q: A woman is hit by a motorcycle. Whos fault was it the motorcyclist's or the woman's? A: It was the motorcyclist's fault. He shouldn't of been riding his mortorcycle in the kitchen while she was making my sandwich.

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What do you call six white guys on a bench? Six white guys at the park

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Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

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Why did Obama win the president election He had a greater amount of votes that Jonh mccain

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What did the man want for his birthday? Chicken dinner serves 2-3 people

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Why does Eli Manning play for the Giants? Because he is huge.

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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