How does a blonde get pregnant? (I don't know) And you thought blondes were dumb.

Why was the boy not feeling well? He swallowed a piano.

An armed ninja walks into a bank. He is apprehended by the police, whom he tries to attack with a drawn sword, and is promptly shot down in a hail of gunfire causing civilian injuries and rather significant property damage.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana, Jack got high, pulled down his fly, and asked Jill if she wanna. Jill said yes, pulled up her dress, and had a little fun. But stupid Jill forgot the pill, and now they have a son

A Catholic Priest, an Anglican Priest, and a Rabbi were in a train carriage together because they got a package deal to go to a conference on religious tolerance. Good for them.

Why arnt black people alowed in bars? Because monkeys don't drink beer! DER DA DER.

How can you tell if someone is gay? It depends, sometimes they can be flamboyant or not. Actually, one could be straight and still be flamboyant, that's what makes the world less boring. Everyone is different, there's no surefire way of knowing, unless of course they tell you that they're gay.

What's the difference between blacks and whites? The skin color

A woman walks into a bar. She is pregnant and gives her baby fetal alcohol syndrome.

What's longer - 'an african american phallus' or 'a micronesian sphincter'? 'An african american phallus has' 24 letters as opposed to 'a micronesian sphincter' at 21 letters, so it is longer.

Q. A black man and a Mexican are in the back of a car. Who's driving? A. The police officer

make me a sandwich!

What does a dyslexic person call God? Dog

The Mets win the World Series

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? I don't fucking know.

69

How do you kill a blonde? Stab her 64 times in the chest.

How do you stop a bus? Wait at the bus stop and it will stop for you.

What's the difference between Santa Clause and Tiger Woods? One is a mythical person who parents exploit to get their children to behave due to lack of parenting skills.

Why did the boy get hit by a car? Because he didn't look both ways

Your mother is so fat, she spends all day in her bedroom, eating chocolate and crying herself to sleep.

There are 2 Muffins in an oven in a bakery. The first muffin says "Is it hot in here , or is it just me?" The other muffin says " We are going to die in here and no one will here us screaming."

What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

What does a car and a t-shirt have in common? Nothing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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