Why should you rape a dog instead of a human. Because there esier to catch

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because he was tired of the publicity his friend, the chicken was getting for crossing the road that he wanted to do it himself. Halfway across the duck was wistfully hit by a car and sadly, his story is lesser known and 99% of the people in this world really don't care about him. Thumbs up if you're that 1% that shows sympathy toward the duck.

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Holy fuckfarts! I did mention I am at my mothers place right? What am I saying? What am I typing? Marry me now!

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is this the krusty crab? no this is child services were taking your children.

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why couldnt the little boy watch two and a half men? because charlie sheen left and the other guy had surgeery and now has 2 penises

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers.

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I'd rather kill myself than commit suicide.

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why did the little girl get her hair cut? she has cancer.

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What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

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A blonde sits down in first class on a flight to Miami. That's because she had a ticket for the seat.

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What did the cow say to the bull. they had kids because they shared an interest in being silent.

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Why did the guy fly? Because he steped on a landmine

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A black man is sitting in front of the bus Then he respectfully gives up his seat to an elder woman

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far away from its body.

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So last night I was f**king my girlfriend and I flip her over and f**k her up the ass. Later we're sitting having a cigarette when she says, "you know it was pretty presumptuous of you to think you can just flip me over and f**k me up the ass." And I said, "presumptuous!? That's a pretty big word for a 5th grader."

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did the little girl drop her teddy bear? Because she was being sexually molested. Why did the little Jewish girl drop her teddy bear? Because gas came out of the shower-head.

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What did the asian do with his homework? finish it. as is expected from children his age.

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what do women and men have in common? nothing, women are inferior

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo.

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Why did the blonde fall off the cliff? She was blind and deaf so she never knew where to go, and her parents kicked her out for her problems. It is a sad situation that noone wants to go through

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Two black guys walk into a country club and ask to play a round of golf. They are turned away because the aren't members of the club.

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How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? None, let the bitch cook in the dark.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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