Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We are here to inform you that your daughter has died in a drunk driving accident.

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Wuy are Kenyans so fast? Because due to variations in evolution, people from that part of the world have a better muscle build to run at higher speeds than equally trained athletes from other parts of the world.

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Why couldn't the fireman get over the hill? Because he was dead.

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you: Why did the chicken cross the road? them: "To get to the other side...?" you: Oh! *stare*

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Q. Why is me question not funny? A. Because there is no point to it.

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A blond went to a barber to get her hair cut. She had her ear phones in and tolled the barber not to take her ear phones out at all. So the barber was swiching her ear phones to cut her hair then she fell asleep so the barber took both of her ear phones off for a minute and then she died

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A Jew, a Muslim and an atheist meet at the same bus station. A religious argument breaks out shortly and the three board their respective buses angry and upset. They were a really bad example of religious tolerance.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Why did the jew go into the gas chamber? Because he thought he was going to get a shower.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a larger worm in your apple.

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What is worse than stepping on Lego bare foot? Mass genocide.

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What happened to tommy for his birthday ? A new pear of shoes to put on. Tommy feet just got amputated. But it's okay... Tommy got a new comb. Tommy just got cancer. But it's okay tommy got a new pet dog... Tommy is abused by the dog I know what your thinking a dog can't abuse someone it was a cat

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why did the boy loose his job.... because he was only 14,dont know how he got it in the first place Chuckles

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Knock knock Knock knock Knock knock I have outsimers Wait why am i here?

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Why did Sarah limp to school? Because she got hit by a tree

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are also red, "Honey, please call the fire department!"

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A seal walks into a club. And proceeds to die. Why? The seal isn't able to walk so it was crawling and a man was swinging a club to it's head, so it perished and he could feed his family. The Statement was censored by the FCC

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If a blonde and a brunette fell off a cliff who would reach the ground first? The blonde because she was fatter.

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Jim: Kevin, how old are you? Kevin cries because they are twins. His Brother was hit in the head with a bat yesterday and does not remember anything.

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Guy: If I could re-arrange the alphabet, I would put I and u together. Girl: Really because if I could r-arrange the Alphabet I would put f and u together

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What did polyvore say to wanelo? Nothing They are apps

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A man approaches an attractive young woman at a party. He asks her if a rag smells like chloroform and proceeds to hold the rag up to her face. She passes out, the man takes her into a nearby bedroom and rapes her. He casually leaves the party. He will most likely continue this vile act for years to come.

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The government makes a good decision

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Whats long, green and falls out of trees? A canoe. Why did the old man fall out of the tree? He was in the canoe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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