There where ducks sitting in the bath One Duck truns to the other an says "could you pass me the soap" The other duck truns and replies "dont call me toast"

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Knock knock, Who's th- IMA FIRIN' MA LAZOR

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There's two bears in a bathtub, One looks at the other and says "hey can you pass the soap?" the other bear says "what do i look like a light bulb?"

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How many people with ADD does it take to...Oh look! Shiny!!!

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What happend when 1 second past after 7:00 am? It was still 7:00 am.

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If a midget is mentally retarded and always late for work, is it okay to call him a little tardy?

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Woman's Rights

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he accidently dropped it.

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If you rape a prostitute is it shop lifting?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by jimmy savile.

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What"s the biggest Jenga game? 9/11

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what did you call a downer in the medieval times? spazalot

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What do you get when you cross a turtle and a kangaroo? A hybrid combination of the two that is characterized by specific traits of both animals.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow wh- MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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Q:What did the duck say to the other duck A:We are both ducks

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What's the difference between a bicycle? An orange because it has no sleeves.

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

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What's green, fuzzy, and would likely cause fatal harm if it were to fall on someone? A pool table.

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A man walks into a bar. It turns out he's an alcoholic, and he goes home and beats his wife.

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Knock Knock Who's There Not you... What? *Pulls out finger gun* *Screams BOOM!*

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Woman's rights

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whats do dinosaurs and people have in common? one of them is extinct.

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Why is a blonde a door knob... Because everybody gets a turn

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops