Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius.

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What's worse than having cancer? Two people having cancer

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What's the difference between a BMW and a pile of dead babies? There isn't a BMW in my garage.

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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Why didn't the black kid get anything for Christmas? His family was Jewish.

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[Insert anti-joke here]

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Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

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2 biggest lies I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service and That baby dont look like me

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Minecraft!

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Why doesnt your dad like barrack Obama? because your dad is straight, hes not into men

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man......they apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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Why did the man walk into a bar? Coz he felt like it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Across the street was a strip mall containing a dry cleaners where he had to pick up his suit for his cousins wedding. The wedding caused controversy in the family considering she was jewish. He had a lot to drink and took a cab home, knowing the dangers of drunk driving in todays society. He had a great time.

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Whats worse than getting punched in the balls? Getting punched in the balls twice.

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A black man, a gay man, and an Asian woman are sitting at a bar. The black man gets a phone call, and after the call all three of them are excited because they are all friends and the black man just got into a good college.

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what is worse - this joke or the last one? what is worse still - sex what is worster - nothing that's not a real word what is wurst? a type of sausage

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Why was the baby so hot? Napalm. Why was the baby so cold? Meat locker.

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A Priest a Rabbi and a duck walk into a bar. The rest of the patrons continue to drink until the situation seems less strange.

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In Soviet Russia, test takes you... to a privileged University with an appropriate transcript.

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Roses are Red ?And sometimes yellow ? My mother is mellow ? Billy you have cancer ?

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Why was Johnny so mad at his father? Because his father had a constant drinking problem and was very abusive.

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Why did the little boy cry? Because he stuck his finger into a blender

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Knock knock. Who's there? You. You who? Fuck you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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