Q: What did Bobby get for his first birthday ? A: Adoption papers

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Q.Whats the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? A. I don't were my cleats on my trampoline.

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Q: I have a bed, but never sleep, I have a mouth, but never speak. What am I? A: Stephen Hawking

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how many people can you eat? well, im not canniballistic, so none unless i was starving.

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vatalk you are retarded!!!!!

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A man questions wether a cat will always land on it's feet. He takes a cat from a pet store and tosses it into the air. The cat lands on it's feet. Startled, the cat runs into the street and gets hit by a car. The man goes to prison for theft and animal abuse.

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If u swipe fast u will see fish swimming -////--/// //-///--// --//--/// ---/////- -/////--/ ////---// ---///--- ---////-- --////--- //--///-// -//----/// -/-///-/// -/-/-/-/-/ -////-///// -/-/-/-/// -///------ ---------- --///-///-/ -////-//--- -/-/--/--- -/-/-////// ---------- --------- I will call ur doctor to tell him u are retarded

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Nothing. His parents are dead and Santa doesn't exist.

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A girl asks her best friends: Why are you only wearing one earring? The best friends replies: Because I took the other one out.

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what looks like a banana, smells like like a banana, but isn't a banana? a fake banana

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The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!" Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS." "Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient. "You've also got Alzheimer's Disease." Looking relieved the patient says, 'at least it shall be over quickly.'

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whats worse than walking in to the doctors office and he says you got aids heaps of stuff can be worse but haha you got aids

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What's the difference between a trampoline and a cat? I take mu cleats off when I jump on a trampoline.

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25

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Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

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Whats big, red and will cause severe injuries possibly fatalities if it falls out a tree? A phone box

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The grass is always greener on the other side.

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You know what's funny? A well told joke

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Justin Bieber hits puberty

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A white man applies for a job two weeks later he finds out he lost the job to a hardworking Mexican who went to college and payed his debts

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How do you fit 10 babies in a bowl? With a blender. How do you get them out of the bowl? You don't, you've already been arrested for multiple cases of infanticide.

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Choir.

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Yo mama so fat she makes blind kids cry

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American healthcare.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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