What's brown and slimy? brown slime

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A man walks into a bar with a pack of Marlboros and promptly starts to light a cigarette. The bartender rushes over to stop him. "Hey! We don't allow smoking in here chump! Take it outside." The man replies with a big grin on his face. "Oh no sir. These ain't no ordinary cigarettes. My granddad gave me this pack a decade ago on his death bed." He pulls it out and shows the bartender 19 stale smokes. "He told me that any who took a single drag off any of them would have their biggest wish come true." the man recalled. The bartender had a perplexed look on his face and yelled "What the f*** are you talking about? Get out of here before I curb check your a**!" The man was then hastily escorted out by security. He then died 4 days later from autoerotic asphyxiation.

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How do you make a mime talk? There are many ways. I prefer a baseball bat with a nail through it.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An Afronaut

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how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

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FUS RO DAH!!!

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What is worse than breaking your pencil? Flying on a magic carpet

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Your momma's so old she might die soon.

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How many babies does it take to paint a barn red It depends how hard you throw them

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How do u know someones running? They leave this????behind

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What is it called when a black man does cocaine? A felony.

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What's dark, has an opening, and guys like to go in it. A cave

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Follow the Yellow brick road, follow the yellow brick road........except it's not yellow.

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p

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why did mad is on home s walk becuaes a isnt a number

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Aodhans da is Mr.Bradly and he dosnt know what coordinates are, 180 anti-clockwise,he has "the key to examination success is revision and homestudy tattooed on his chest, his das herbert the pervert, his mas a taxcollector and on the dole, his da sits on the roof eating biscuits, cleaning the satilite dish, he gets his pubes shaved in gordans chemist, he uses mcdonaldsd wifi, hes a fruit fly and he can stop global warming by shaking his head!!!!!!!!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. Your family is dead.

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Anne Frank.

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What do you do if your batteries die and you have none left? Go to your nearest battery selling retail store and buy some more.

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Whats 10+10? A mathematical equation.

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How do you kill a deer? You don't, you just let it be because that's what a decent human being would do.

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Why did the man masturbate? Because there was no one who wanted to partake in sexual intercourse with him.

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What did one baby say to the other? Nothing, they're both dead.

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Whats big black and hairy? A large black dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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