Magic! Well not really, you see, people that are stressed have the tendency to remain far longer into the state of hypnosis because their body conciously and subconciously (I am typoing it, but I cant bother to type it correctly fuck it) seek out the state of peace that hypnosis gives more often. Anyway, I know another thing that helps relieve stress, cough... Now, did you know that if you push your nose upwards slightly, you will feel a finger between your legs? its because nerve endings are connected that way, give it a go.

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why was the blonde confused? because she was born with a low IQ making her mentally retarded.

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Why did the man lose his job at the orange juice factory? Because the economy is shitty and none of the higher ups are willing to take a pay cut and they’re still paying themselves massive bonuses, the result of which are layoffs across all departments.

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I always used bra`s so I guess you know, nice I guess. Can you please stop it? I like know I am telling but my mind wont like accept it, and I would just like to shut off the laptop, but I want to keep chatting with you for just a bit more.

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why did the 60 year old touch the little boy's penis? because he was a doctor.

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Q: How much old could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Wood A:10.6 cubic metes

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How do Asians name their children? They throw them down the stairs and see what sound they make.

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What happened to the baby bird? It fell out the nest

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What did the man who was punched in the throat say to his friend?

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why did Sallt fall off the swings? she had no arms knock knock who's there not Sally

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What was the beauty pageant contestant with a bladder control problem told by the judges? You’re an 8.

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Q: Why can't dinosaurs talk? A: Because they are all dead.

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There once was a man from Bangkok, who hated limericks.

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Ben: do you want to hear a joke. jack: yh go on then, i bet its funny. Ben: Your future.

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why did the boy fly away because his mum shot him out of a cannon

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"You know what they say about people with big swords." What do they say? Man that's a big sword.

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How did i get from Pakistan to Iraq Iran

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"My father walked out on me." "Oh that's strange because I saw him yesterday and he had no legs."

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How does a printer work? You plug it in.

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Why was Jeremy slow? He wasnt fast.

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Why was the boy praying? Because both of his parents had just been brutally murdered in front of him and he was analy defiled by the assailant and left alive to have live with the pain of seeing both of his parents be killed. He had also dropped his lollipop.

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What did the black kid down the road get for Christmas? Your Bike.

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Josh brown, Cant have sex, you want to know why...... Because he has a smelly vagina

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Your mother is so poor she doesn't have any money!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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