Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he was late for his uncle's funeral, which was taking place in the church across from his apartment.

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I saw a stray dog the other day So I petted it and got on my way.

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Why wasn't my T.V. on? Because I didn't have a remote.

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Why did the cat eat himself? He was hungry

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Whats the difference between a raisin and a old lady? One is alive, i think.

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is mayonnaise an instrument?

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why cant stevie wonder read? because hes black

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Who pooped in my garden?

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Roses are red, Violets are Blue Last night was amazing, I have Aids

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A criminal walks into a bar, and shoots the bartender and has his way with the waitress. Its his bar now.

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What's dark, scary, and full of puppies? My van. I lied about the puppies...

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So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. He crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot

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If I fly my canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, then how many lollipops does Obama have? None, because dogs can't use flashlights.

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How do you make a clown shut up? Throw a axe at it!!

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Yogurt? You are joking right? I am having yogurt right now, do you like see trough me or something? I mean I have been told people can do that but no way!

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I like my coffee how I like my women Without a penis

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he has has no arms.

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Suzie was in a traumatizing accident resulting in her arms getting cut off. Knock Knock? Whos There? Not Suzie.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Thats what they tell me because I'm blind

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what does a blue watermelon and a cactus that looks like a penis have in common? orange ya glad i didn't say banana!

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What did the drug addict say to the doctor? I am a drug addict and am in need of help and rehabilitation.

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Chuck norris doesn't make his own butter he roundhouse kicks the cow and the butter comes straight out.

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Why were you at a funeral? Someone died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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