A doctor, a farmer, and a blonde walk into a bar. The doctor orders red wine because he knows it's good for the heart. The farmer orders a Piña Colada because he likes fruit. The two men wait eagerly to what the blonde is about to order. The blonde opens her purse and says "Damn it, I can't find my credit card." Suddenly, a handsome young gentleman walks up to her says "Don't worry miss, I'll buy a drink for you. What are you having?" The blonde looks up and says "Don't worry? I just lost my credit card!" In a fit a of anger, the blonde storms out the bar and doesn't order anything.

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Who were the fastest readers of all time? The victims of 9/11. They went through over 87 stories in less than 2 1/2 minutes.

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Whats the difference between andreas and a dog? the dog has a tail.

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A horse walks in a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?"..... The horse incapable of understanding the humane language promptly poos on the floor and leaves.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The mailman. I don't believe you.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Nothing, we eat pizza and we respect Jews.

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Stare at the person nearest to you and say "sprinkles" with the straightest face possible.

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2 * 2 * 2 * 3 * 2417

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Q: Why did the purple cantalope eat the curtains at midnight? A: Sassafrass.

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Holocost jokes arent even that funny, Anne Frank-ly they annoy me.

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How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died

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Three men stumble upon an ancient lamp in the desert. They sell it to a museum and split the profits evenly.

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A black person walked up to another black person, and tells him a pun the other black person laughs and walks away

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Ring. Ring. Hello? Hey, It's Sean Oh hi! How are you?

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A man walks into a bar and orders 10 shots of tequila. He later goes home drunk and beats his wife. His wife is getting a divorce.

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Roses are grey Violets are gray Tulips are grey Lilly's are grey Dandelions are grey Daisy's are grey Daffodils are grey I am colour blind.

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How do you make a anti-joke on this website? Type it out, click I have read and agree to the Terms of Service, then press submit.

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why did the owner of Google decide to name the company "Google"? google it..

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What do you you call a mexican that jumped the border? successful

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Why is the light always red? Because the city has been in an economic depression and does not have the money to fix the traffic light's.

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Q. How can you find true love? A. Google it...duh

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What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

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A muslim, a jew, and a black man walk into a bar, the bartender asks what they would like to drink, after respnding, paying and receiving their drinks, they sit down to drink them. What a lovely scene of ethnic diversity

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no

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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