Yo mama so stupid, she scored poorly on her SAT exams in high school. She was unable to recieve a college education. She now works as a full time waitress at a small diner. She earns minimum wage and is still getting nowhere on her search for a better job.

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What's the difference between a bench and a black man? The bench is an inanimate object incapable of thought

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If life's a box of chocolates, I'm the dominant male.

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Red sky in the morning, Shepard's warning. Red sky at night, Shepard's Fulcrum.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, grass is green, sky is blue, dirt is brown, fire is orange, water is transparent, powder is white

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Robocop The Reboot reboot. Watch as The friendly robot named Murphy, is violently broken down by a horrible shower of water, the only means to save him is to transfer his data into a human. He awakens again as Robofriendlydude (starring Adam Sandler) as a robot learns to love, learns to share, learns to dance with children in this years Reboot of the classic love comedy Robocop. PG-3 "So good I could only watch five seconds of it" Rotten potatoes. 99 percent fresh. "Kill me with a chainsaw" Honest reviews. "AWESOME!" Dishonest reviews "Makes Twilight seem like the better lovestory" Everyone.

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Alex Gedrose.

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How do you survive the zombie apocolypse? You avoid dieing or being mutated in the living dead.

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Why do you never want to party with Lindsay Lohan? Because she's a drug abuser and a terrible influence.

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Dylan Hodge's mother touches her own butthole at night. Joshua Brown's sister rubs Josh's earlobes passionately. Brock is a fag. Jacob is Awesome. Daniel THINKS he's awesome. Jamie kills everyone. Apart from Jacob.

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Jake: When was war of 1812? Harry: 1812 Jake: Oh.

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What`s pink and fluffy? Pink fluff What did the banana say to the ear? Hello

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Q. What did Nelson say to his men before they boarded ship? A. "Board ship men"

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Your mamma's so fat she has diabetes and may die because she may not be able to loose enough weight to keep her blood sugar at a regulated number.

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Why was Timmy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What did the camel say to the polar bear at the bar? "Uuuhhrrhrhhh"

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Why didn't the black man feed his family? They'd eaten about an hour ago.

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belly button

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One day a priest walked into a prison to bring lost souls to the Lord.....Not his best idea.

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A man walks in the a bar Now he has 3 missing teeth

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How do you catch a green elephant? you paint it red and use a Red Elephant Trap

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What is the best thing in the world? The opposite of the worst thing in the world.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I will ask you one question, and that will determine whether you can enter Heaven." The man nods nervously. St. Peter asks, "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Disregard Females, Acquire Currency.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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