- Anti Joke

Whats worse than The Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

It is so hot out here, that it could melt an ice cube that was once in the freezer!

your mom is so ugly when she entered an ugly contest they said... ok

Oh look, a dead guy. He must have died

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Poo LOL

What happens when you throw a green rock into the Red Sea? It gets Wet.

What did the homosexual eat for breakfast? A light meal consisting of fruit and whole grains, so he could keep his weight down.

So I took this girl into my room we got in bed, We got under the covers and.... We had a rather delightful game of scrabble.

"Knock knock" Come in!

Knock knock. ... ... after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

MR MR WHO?? MR MC CANN

In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

Your momma's so old she might die soon.

A black man walks into a bar He looks at the menu and realizes he's in a bar, so he leaves

A man walks into a bar a bartender says, 'why the long face'? the man says 'I just walked into a bar'!!!

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because his hands were amputated.

Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar And doesn't

Why was the blonde on the train tracks? Because she was tied up by a madman on crack.

Whats more painful than falling onto a sharp stone? Suffering the loss of your mother and newborn brother in a tragic car accident on your birthday.

To mamas so fat shes fat

Why did the chicken cross the road? How the hell should I know? I'm not a chicken :/

What is a refrigerator and white all over? A refrigerator

What's brown and sticky? A stick

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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