EVOLUTION OF MODERN SAYINGS 1 The Samurai: If at first you don't succeed, kill yourself. The British: If at first you don't succeed, give up The Americans: If at first you don't succeed, sue someone, then try again in hopes of a larger payout next time

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a guy sleeping with little boys? Michael Jackson

thumb_up thumb_down +10

noodles

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why don`t women need watches? Because in our modern society, there are many clocks in most locations.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q.What did the muffin say when the other muffin said, "How ya doin'?" A."HOLY CRAP A TALKING MUFFIN!"

thumb_up thumb_down +21

I have tuberculosis because Ebola is too mainstream.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the difference between a joke and an anti joke Bananas

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red Violets are blue You're parents are dead All your friends are too

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did one narwhal say to another Hi ;)

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call an arab with a beard? How cares what his name is just shoot him!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what did the boy with no hands get for christmas Gloves!!! just kidding i dont know he hasnt opened the box yet

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the blue man say to the red lady? Do you want to make purple? -A.M.M

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What bouriquet got to do open HIS FACEBOOK!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Two muffins are put in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "is it just me or is it getting hot in here?". The other muffin says,"HOLY CRAP!!!!! A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!".

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I love you. You love me. I killed you're family. No you're an orphan.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's the worst part about eating a vegetable? Putting her back in the wheel chair.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why wasn't the girl asked to the prom? Because she had cerebral palsy.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

whats the difference between virgin and a porn star?? A virgin hasn't got aids.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a deer with no eyes? extremely unfortunate...

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q:Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A: A terrorist threw a refrigerator at him then slapped the ice cream out of his hand

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the fridge door and place the elephant inside. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the fridge door, remove the elephant, and place the giraffe inside. There is a party at the zoo. All of the zoo animals attend, except one. Which one? The giraffe, because he is in the fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops