What does a Jew do when he sees a masked man at his door? He grabs a phone to alert the police and hides in his bedroom.

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A man runs into a psychiatrist's office and screams, "You gotta help me doc! I just killed seven people in my office building!"

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What's green and goes 100 miles an hour? a green racing car

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What happened to the white girl who dropped her ice cream? She bought another one.

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Q. How do you punish Helen Keller? A. Rearrange the furniture in her room

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whats 7+4? 74

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? when people don't understand the concept of anti-jokes and post real jokes

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wats green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree, it would kill u? a pool table

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Q: How do you kill a blonde? A: Put M&M's on the bottom of a pool, and tell her to arrange them in alphabetical order. By the time she starts to question this, the poison should be kicking in.

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What's black and white and red all over? A plague victim.

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Where did Jonathan go when the bombs hit? Everywhere.

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Why can't Roger drive a tractor? Because Roger is a goldfish

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In Soviet Russia, man doesn't walk to the bar. The bar walks to the man!

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Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

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pobody's nerfect

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Your mom is so fat That the salesman advised her not to buy the tight dress

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The speakers on my computer were broken, so I was going to replace them with John Boehner. Because he is the SPEAKER of the house.

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Have you read Shakespeare? Dunno. Who wrote it? Shakespeare.

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Two great white sharks are swimming in the ocean together, one turns to the other to speak, but doesn't because sharks can't talk.

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Why did the black man vote for Obama in the presidential election? Every person over the age of 21 has an open opinion to vote for the person of their choice to run as president for a 4-year term.

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Chinese food tastes so oriental sometimes, sort of like asian food

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Who doesn't love finding money in your pocket when you go to put your pants on? a rape victim

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What happened when a Blonde girl and a Ginger man have sex without a condom? The woman gets pregnant and then after about nine months the woman gives birth and the child grows up, when the child is adolescent it is able to reproduce and the process continues again.

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You're a fat chubby McChubchub fatty fatchub because your fat chubby McChubchubfattychub poop is on your fatty fat Mcphat face of fatchubness because you are the fatty lord of McChubby fat kings.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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