what do you call a baby that's just been crushed by a piano. a mess for a cleaner to deal with. think about his health. after that he might get a disease from the body and he might not get to sleep as it is a haunting sight.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What makes the turtle move? It's legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I just lost the game where if you think about the game then you lose the game. so did you.

thumb_up thumb_down -98

Bill: My brother died on 9/11 Steve: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Was he in one of the towers? Bill: Both. Steve: Both? Bill: He was in one tower when the first plane hit, so he ran over to warn everybody in the other tower and while he was in the other tower, he died of AIDS. Steve: LOL Bill: Quit your laughing, Steve, and make sweet, sweet love to me! Steve: It would be my pleasure! (While Bill and Steve made sweet, sweet love on that park bench, little did they know that a hundred miles away in a beautiful Los Angeles home, actor Jeff Goldblum was making himself a turkey sandwich...not too much mayo...just the way he likes it.)

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Q:How many mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A:Just Juan.

thumb_up thumb_down +110

i feel bad for black people (even though u can't consider them people)

thumb_up thumb_down

A duck walks into a convenience store and asks for a tube of chapstick.He says "Put it on my tab".

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What looks like half a loaf of bread. The other half

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why do you always loose your keys at monster truck rally's? Most likely because they fell out during all the excitement of jumping up and down, but the real reason is because they are afraid of monster cars.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

a white man, an asian man, and a mexican man are on a plane and they realize how inefficient the airline was in filling the flight, seeing as there were only three men on board.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock Knock? Who's There? Not a Jehovah's Witness, let me in!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was the man sleeping. He was tired

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you kill a Jew? Shoot him in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down -155

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? I t was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man is working at a bar. He feels a fly graze his left index finger, which has become a bit sweaty. The man rubs the finger for a moment, then continues to slice grapes for a customers synthetic japanese glue farm.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

That day where Captain America becomes too weak and frail to hold his own shield.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the man jump out of the plane? Because the plane was losing fuel fast so he grabbed a parachute and went for it and realized that was the only one left so everyone died a horrible death.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are yellow, violets are grey, I'm colorblind

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the Nun refude to say Thank You Father? Because she was raped by her father as a child.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anne frank dies days before camp was liberated.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How did the Jew survive the Holocaust? Trick question he didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +4

dont be afraid of lard squeezing cause really its just me teasing

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops