If I had a nickel for everyday I lived...... I would get a nickel a day

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A man was getting surgery on his knee and the surgeon accidentally left a knife in his leg. The man's leg was severely infected and he proceeded to die in the following weeks. His family will mourn this loss for years to come.

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Why dont blind people go skydiving? Because they dont live when they hit the ground

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so a huge calculator walks into a bar, and a man steps out from behind it, and wipes his forehead.

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OSS ARE RED VIOLENTS IS BLUE U BELONG THE ZOO I WILL BE THERE TO BUT LAUGHIN AT U

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Why can Randy Moss Jump so high? Because he trained to jump high.

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-Knock Knock -Whos there? -The police -OH SHIT

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nothing

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What did one dog say to the other dog? Woof woof

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Teacher- And that is why the Pythagorean theorem only works for RIGHT triangles. Any questions? Student- I like grapes.

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Your mama's so fat her patronus is a cake

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I win an iPad for pooping on someone's head Answer- We have a muddaf**kin winna

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And now a word from our sponsors

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A French, an American and a Belgian are going together on holidays. I hope they'll have good weather.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? depends on how hard you throw them

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You know what I hate long anti-jokes that take up too much space.

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What is the difference between a person of Mexican heritage and a park bench? One is a bench, the other is a human being.

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what's the fastest way to have someone murder you tell your wife you are cheating on her

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What has a pie and my hand got in common? It's got meringue on it.

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Q: How many licks does it take to the center of a tootsie pop? A: At least one.

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What do you call a boy with no arms or legs? Chris

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How did Moses make his tea? He steeped the tea leaves for around 5 minutes in hot water.

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whats brown and smells like poop? poop.

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Did you hear the joke about the Israeli guy with the cruise missile down his pants? Me neither. I hope it's a good joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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