Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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Why is a cookie like a jellyfish? Because it has no bones. (Contributed by my 4-year old boy)

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I admit I don't know what the future holds, but one thing I know for sure is that... Lance Armstrong has only one ball.

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Homework.

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crime in multi story is wrong on so many levels!

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Michael Vick walks into a pet shop. He buys a puppy and cares for it lovingly

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Why's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding a golden ticket

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Roses are RED , Violets are BLUE , once Valentines day is Over , All ya girls is gonna go back to LOVIN' THE CREW.

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Okay lord and master, now get lost, I am trough with you, I have other things to get done, XD My nose is so itchy XD

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why did the boy call the girl a bitch? Because she was beautiful.

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SUBway eat fresh ZOMbies eat fleash

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How do you piss off a teacher? Accuse them of being a pedophile

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Kim Jong Un thinks that he is in shape. And when you think about it, he's right. Round is a shape.

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What kind of jokes to dairy farmers tell? Corny jokes.

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The awkward moment when you notice its 2012 and we're all gonna die, so you buy and elephant and name him John.

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Roses are red And heres something new Violets are violet They're not friggin blue

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How do fish die in water? The BP oil spill

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What's worse than stepping on a Lego? Leukemia

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What's the best part about the school burning down? All the children trapped inside never had to grow up

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why did no one like Ashley? because she was a bitch!

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Why was Dr Who unable to travel back in time using the TARDIS? Because it's just a television prop. It isn't a real time machine.

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This guy goes to the ball game. He waits in line at the concession stand and gets a footlong hot dog and a giant orange soda. Then he makes his way around to his section of the stadium, and works his way to his seat, which is in the center of the row. Right when he's about to take a bite of his hot dog, when he hears someone in the seats way up behind him yell "Hey! Mike!" He sets down his hot dog, and sets down his giant orange drink, stands up and turns around, scanning the crowd. Eventually he sits back down. He picks up his hot dog, picks up his giant orange drink, and is just about to take a bike when he hears it again, someone way up behind him yelling "Hey! Mike!". So, he sets down his hot dog, sets down his giant orange drink, stands up, turns around, and scans the hundreds of faces in the seats behind him. After a while, he sits back down. Then, right when he's about to bite into his hot dog, he hears someone behind him yelling "Mike! Hey, Mike!" He sets down his hot dog, sets down his giant orange drink, stands up, turns around, cups his hands around his mouth and yells as loud as he can, "My name's not Mike!"

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Q: A black man, A Mexican, And a Asian are in a car. Who Is Driving? A: The Cop.

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Augustus was touring his Empire and noticed a man in the crowd who bore a striking resemblance to himself. Intrigued, he asked: ‘Was your mother at one time in service at the Palace?’ ‘No, your Highness,’ he replied, ‘but my father was.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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