Anti-joke.

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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What happened when Mary threw a kettle at Daniel? Daniel was scalded in the facial area and was blinded forever.

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What's big and long? My dick.

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Why was the mexican being lazy? Because he lead a very successful life and retired early and now can enjoy the luxury of the finer things in life.

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Why did the little boy tell his classmates jokes? To try and fit in for once.

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? seeing this joke 1000 times on this website

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roses are red violets are blue the thing in the toilet reminds me of you :)

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Recycling anti-jokes

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What colour is chocolate? Brown.

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What's worse than a duck with one leg? A nuclear explosion

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Help I'm being raped!

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Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

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What's black, green, and doesn't have to take a shower? I have no idea.

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A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

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What do you do when you see an epileptic having a fit in the bath? Laugh at him

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If i was gay... I would have strong sexual feelings towards peolple of the same sex as me

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how do you get a taco? Buy one!

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus

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There are 5 men in a desert a black man a white man a gay a lesbian and a white woman they have no food or water and haven't had any in 3 weeks civilization is 1 mile away how many people live and which ones They all die you can only live 3 days without water.

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I had sex with my mother in law

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What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

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You know that Duck song on youtube? I dont get it... ducks cant talk...

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What did the Germans cook in their giant oven made for cooking jews? Jews.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


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