If Santa's not real, then who pees on the tree every morning?

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Your mama is so black, she contributes regularly to the NAACP and the United Negro College Fund. Her donations and volunteer work help greatly.

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Poop

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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You know you guys are suppose to post jokes, not basketball comments.

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A man walks into the doctor's office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's genitals to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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two boys break out in a verbal fight. the first boy says your so stupid youd sell a cow for a gallon of milk. the second boy replied, i agree with you 110%.

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Your mumma's so ugly. Period.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass i was lying about the wheels.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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What can't think, see, hear, taste, or smell? A Headless Cat

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Every sixty seconds in Africa... a minute passes - plz like to save Africa!

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So a hispanic man and a black man jump from a tree, which one hits the ground first? The hispanic man, the rope caught the black man.

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An elderly man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey Dad!" The old man replies, "Hi son. I'll have a Bud Light." The bartender serves his dad a Bud Light and says, "I'm thinking about going back to school to become a doctor." The old man says, "I'm an alcoholic." The bartender replies, "Great, another Bud Light coming up!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? THE CHICKEN!

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How do you drown a blond? You hold her underwater.

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nock nock " whos there" , "open the door and you will see

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Your momma is so old, she qualifies for multiple financial aid programs provided by the government.

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Why was the doctor unable to perform his surgery properly? Because he forgot his scalpel

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and 10 dead babies? I don't keep a Lamborghini I'm my garage

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What's the difference between oreos and your opinion? I asked for your opinion.

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Why did the mexican mow the lawn. Because the grass in his front yard is longer than he likes it .

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Remember IRON MAN 3! Subscribe to www.prettypleasehelpmeforgethatpieceofshitmovie.com

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How do you save a drowning Asian teenage boy? You get him out of the water.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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