Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they're ugly and they stink.

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How do you drown a blonde. Put a scratch 'n' sniff at the bottom of a pool.

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Why did the fungus leave the party? Truffle.

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What's meaner than taking a candy from a baby? Tossing the baby of a cliff

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Why do skinny women eat their food fresh cooked? So that they don't contract food-borne diseases and risk dying.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a man? One's tall the other's not

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Tell him he won the current game of hide n seek.

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how do you stop a train? you cant..

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How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2.

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knock knock who's there ? dogs dogs who? phone

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Me: Knock Knock, Pornstar: Cum in.

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roses are red violets are blue me + you =the perfect 2

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What Did The Farmer When He Lost His Tractor? "Wheres my Tracto?"

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What did the jewish boy get for Christmas? Nothing.

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I once met a giraffe, It needed a bath, When I turned on the water, It started to swim, Because it was actually a fish.

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Q: What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon? A: A Problem. Q: What do you call 100 Chelsea fans on the moon? A: An even bigger problem. Q: What do you call all the Chelsea fans on the moon? A: Problem solved hahaha Q: What would you get if Newcastle were relegated? A: 45,000 more Chelsea fans

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I was on Facebook today. Opened someones wall. Read "LIKE if you know someone that needs to be smacked in the face with a shovel." So I liked it and wrote my exboyfriend's name.......

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Want to hear a dirty joke? Jimmy fell in mud. Want to hear a clean joke? Jimmy took a bath with Bubbles. Want to hear a dirty joke? Bubbles was a clown.

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Whats the difference between 10 dead babies and 8 dead babies? 2 dead babies.

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Think about it: Is mexico REALLY full of: Lowrides in candy ass sparkly colors such as lip red that bounce, (manly color right? Yeah sure baggot) which contains a whole street war gang of members inside and at least twenty tons of COCAINA! ...But does not have a horn that plays "la cucaracha" Seriously, you say yes right? Hey look at this guy he said yes everybody, but ITS WROOOOOOONG CUCARACHA OR GTFO OF MEXICO! Yeah... Because Mexico is shit, id would be racist if Mexicans didn't agree...

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What's the difference between a prostitute and your mom? Your mom is a well educated lawyer who earns half a million dollar a year while the prostitute sells her own body for an extremely small amount of money.

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i'm funny

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Nero, please pick up the phone, I wont ever do that, it was a mistake okay? Stop that, my sister wont ever! My mom whatever! But if you lie a finger on my sister, I will kill you, I am at the outside, which room are you at? Tell me you coward fucker! Tell me!

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Parent: Please, my son have sinned. Please cleanse him from his sins. Priest: Hmmm, it may be hard to cleanse him from his demons. You may leave him in my car today. We shall enter the dark chambers where we will battle your demons Parent: Thankyou Priest: Alone, in the dark. It will be painful for him, but he shall be cleansed *wink* Parent: whut?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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