A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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A man on a plane convened his stupid flyer that instead of who in knock-knock jokes it what were, he thought it would funny. Later it really paid off, as they fly very close over water he says "knock knock" "whose there" " Captain Neverlands" "Captain Neverlands wh-...were" "Captain Neverlands IN WATER YOU DUMMY!!!!"

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Mind magic for fuck ups: Did you know you can train your dog to magically arrive by saying YOUR name! Just tell it what your name is a lot and voila! Moral: made me laugh, fuck the rest of you XD

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why was the man at the tuna fish factory mad? because he was going through intense emotional trauma happening in his life because of problems with his wife and child.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, WTF is this, i gotta take a piss.

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What happened when the man turned on his TV? It was tuned to the Discovery Channel

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What do Vladimir Putin and a snake have in common? A central nervous system, to name but one of the many biological similarities.

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"Why can't you hear pterodactyl when it goes to the bathroom?" "Because the pee is silent?" "No, because they are dead, you idiot."

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"What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby" "One's fun to hit with a bat and the other One's a watermelon.

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When life throws you lemons, duck because they freakin' hurt.

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What is the difference between a car and dead babies? The car is legally obtainable by law and can run on gasoline, when dead babies are nonliving humans, and the owner of which would most likely be sent to jail.

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What's worse than getting a divorce? Nuclear warfare

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? yea, neither has he.

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Why did the gang jump a man for his blue jeep? Answer The gang wanted a blue jeep.

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women and girls can really get enjoyment out of sex. it's not really about controlling the man.

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How to you kill a pizza guy? Shoot him in the face.

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What did the black guy do to his neighbor's car while he was away? Wash it for a for as a favor.

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Why did the courageous young boy always follow his dreams? His IQ sucked.

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An American, an English and a Scottish got in the bar and ordered the same drink. After that they left.

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Why is a chicken coupe, a coupe not a sedan? Because a sedan would have four doors.

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Are You McDonalds Because I'm Loving It

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your momma so stupid she dropped out of high school

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I was not scared, I was disappointed, I was expecting to see you for you, not the whole strange outfit getup, what was the point of that? I know the deal about hypnosis and stuff, did you know it is actually known as monoideoism? But I really cant figure for the life of me how it is physically possible to be under a deep state of trance and completely awake at the same time.

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Man goes to the doctors, says doctor, im depressed. ive tried everything but i just cant see the bright side of life anymore, it seems empty to me, like theres no point in existing. The doctor certifies the man as clinically depressed and alerts the relevant authorities.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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