Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Why did the baby fall off the swing? Because i hit it with a bat.

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Have you heartd about the blond that confused winow putty for KY jelly? Her windows fell out.

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What does a muslim do on a plane? Flies to his intended destination without causing a problem.

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-How old are you, Dick? -I'm 30 centimeters old

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Girl-Does this dress make me look fat? Boy-Hell yea you do, wait, let me speak your language...... Cows go MOOOOO -Ryan V

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, She gave me AIDS, and I gave 'em to you! <3 <3

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Roses are grey, violets are grey, the sky is grey so is the grass everything is grey, as i am colourblind

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What's the difference between a radio and a bowl of potato salad? If you put batteries on a radio you can turn it on and listen to some music. If you put batteries on a bowl of potato salad it's not gonna give you any music.

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How many members of Coldplay can you fit in a mini? 4, as there are 4 members of Coldplay.

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Why did the little boy cry regularly? Because his father was sexually abusive.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Stop fucking around I told you I was coming. I'm sorry. Come in.

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Why did the ANTI-JOKE book cry? -It wasn't funny

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A man walks into a bar and says: "ouch!"

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What is the difference between Santa and a Jew? Santa is a fictional character used to represent Christmas, Jews celebrate Hanukkah.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money issues and how she wanted a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man: "Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor: "You have aids"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it looking for food for it was starving to death.

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Your muma is so ugly she went to a ugly competition and got kicked out "no pros aloud".

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What did the fat man say when he saw the giant twinky on the billboard? I wish that twinky was real, because I am too poor to pay my bills, am getting audited, and cannot feed my four children on minimum wage.

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yo mama's so fat, yo mama's so ugly; your mothers breasts sag with such severity that the late great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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Why can't black people swim? Many of them can. It's racist to assume that.

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Why did the man get in a car accident? Because he was blind.

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What comes after 7? Pedophiles.

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knock, knock Sho'sthere? Sam who? Sam Butt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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