a cop wrote most of these anti-jokes O.o

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why don't elephants smoke? Because they would be afraid of the fire, and they are much more adversely affected by recreational drugs than humans are.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the toddler fall over? He's an Iraqi child and has been shot in both legs, being readied for a public execution for fighting on the opposing side.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

roses are red violets are blue im much younger than i look;)

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the fireman wear suspenders? To keep his pants up.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How many pancakes do you need to reach a 2.5m roof? Purple, because aliens don't fly

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q: Why couldn't the blonde add 10 and seven on a calculator? A: She couldn't find the 10 key.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do Chinese kids have that African kids dont? Chinese citizenship and at least one Chinese parent.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A Mayor accidently killed one of the citizens of his town through dangerous driving. He could not be charged with murder, as it was an accident, but there was an uproar, and he was humiliated beyond question and forced out of office straight away. Even his family rejected him, owing to the fact that the unfortunate citizen he struck was his son's girlfriend.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the guy fly? Because he steped on a landmine

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: What was so funny about the death of Michael Jackson? A: There wasn't anything funny. He was one of the best pop stars ever and many people loved him.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what did the girl who's father was murdered do at her wedding? not have a father daughter dance.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

We can never ask enough hypothetical questions, can we? Well?

thumb_up thumb_down -22

While running away a burgular cut his hand on a piece of glass. He fell to the ground bleeding like crazy. What did the police say when he saw the burgular? You've been caught red handed.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A new family have moved in next to me. They have three little kids and they've challenged me to a water fight in the back yard, so I'm just writing this while I'm waiting for the kettle to boil

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Knock Knock! Who's there? Oh, they were just nailing a notice of foreclosure to the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What is Arnold Schwarzenegger's favorite lollipop? Choppa Chups.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: How do you kill a blonde? A: Put M&M's on the bottom of a pool, and tell her to arrange them in alphabetical order. By the time she starts to question this, the poison should be kicking in.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Wanna hear something funny? Sure. Okay,cool

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call it when a homosexual from spain is forced to have sex with a 400 pound black man? Rape

thumb_up thumb_down -57

how do you make a homosexual man have sex with a woman? shit in her vagina

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar and the bartender says, " OH MY GOD! YOU CAN WALK?!?!"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

But then it wouldn't be an anti joke ya bellendo

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops