1 pack of bacon 2 fat guys. They both die fighting over it.

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What did the man say to the woman? get back in the kitchen and make me a sandwich.

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What did the pirate say when his parrot died? Nothing. He was upset and didn't really feel like talking.

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What did Jesus say to the giraffe? Good day to you sir.

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Why did the boy drop the ice cream? So that it would melt and he could dip his dick into it and his mom could lick it off.

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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I saw a number three walking past me in the street the other day and I thought to my self that's odd.

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Dear Diary, I am down to my last drops of water, I'm going to die soon. Wait, a man is offering me some water! Theres still hope, wait he said sike and ran off. I'm going to die alone.

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What did the boy with cancer, no arms, and no legs get for his birthday? Nothing he was dead.

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once there where 3 guys on a beach. they found a bottle and a fetis came out.. later they found out 2 of the 3 had cancer and the 3rd was a vegetable.

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Why didn't the elephant do any tricks? It was dead.

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What's worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in two dumpsters

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Best joke: Okay so I got a joke for ya but it is pretty long so bare with me please. First off, you must have heard a knock knock joke before and you must have a huge sense of humor. So this guy walks into a bar and orders fried chicken wings with hot fudge and vinilla drizzled all over it with a cherry topping. The bartender says, "We don't have that." The guy thinks of anything else he'd like and says, "How about a bucket of turkey and jalapeños?" The bartender looks puzzled and once again says, "This is a bar..." The guy is now paranoid and says, "Fine, I'll just have a thick, juicy, chicken thigh but please remove any excess skin on it, it's unhealthy and I'm on a diet." The bartender slowly removes his apron and walks out of the bar shouting, "I QUIT!" The guy sits there on the barstool laughing as a lady bartender comes to him. "So sorry sir, what would you like? From our bar that we have available?" The guy stares at her, squinting. "By any chance do you know if you have the punch line to this 'joke' because I sure dont." Slowly the woman removes her apron and walks out of the bar. The guy grins, walks out, and says, "job well done today. Where to tomorrow?"

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Person 1: What do you get when you cross a cow and your mom? Person 2: What? Person 1: A cow that looks like your mom

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Got a card in the mail from my estranged uncle today. Yep.

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What's the difference between an X-box and Michael Jackson? One is an inanimate object and the other is a human being.

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I don't get it

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How many skilled union workers does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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What is black and blue? A pen with reversable ink.

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Why did the burglar get arrested? For beating an egg

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What day is it today? Today. Thank you. You're welcome.

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile "robin, get in the batmobile"

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What is the difference between Acenaphthoquinone and Acetoguanamine? I don't know...

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knock knock. who's there? Ida Ida who? Idanno, don't ask me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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