A man walks into a bar. Three hours later, ambulances arrived, because the man was knocked out. The man who saved was known as a hero, and was awarded a medal for his good deed.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? He got many things, because everyone felt bad for him. Someone even brought him into their house so he could have Christmas dinner. On Christmas Day someone gave him fifty dollars to spend on food for his family. Only thing is, he didn't have a family.

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Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Yes, are you on a horse? No. Oh...

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Why can't Scrillex fish? Because He is too busy to practice fishing.

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Don't make my new Nazi friend upset, or he'll be Fuhrerious

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A father walks in on his kid masturbating to pictures of horses and promptly divorces his wife.

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Why did the plane crash Because Joe diragi is so fat

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two men are having a conversation a third man walks what does he do? patiently waits as to not seem rude.

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speak now or forever hold your pee

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Fuck yourself you piece of shit.

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and a sorority girl? You could always eat the bowling ball if you really had to.

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How do you stop a rhino from charging? Kill it

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What do pebbles and Batman have in common. They're both pebbles. Except Batman.

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Why did grandma drop the dish? She had a heart attack and died, falling to the ground and thus bringing the plate with her to the floor.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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An Irishman, an Englishman, and a Scottishman walks into a bar. They had a good time.

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Whats worse than getting in a 30 MPH car accident? Getting in a 40 MPH car accident.

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A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian says "I'm worried about your book choice, maybe you should consult a theropast".

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So I says to the guy "take the money and run." He then takes my money and walks down the street.

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womens rights

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm a fish out of water. Help me I'm suffocating.

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Why did the Jew cross the road? Cause the Nazi told him to

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What does the cup-cake say to the cake? Do you want a cup in your cake to make it cup-cake?

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Hitler Call of Duty Score Kills: 6 million Jews Deaths: 1

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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