Why didn't Jimmy ever get his butt of the couch? His butt was nailed to it and he was also dead. Why didn't his parents save him? they died before he did.

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99% of teenagers would cry if they saw justin bieber on the top of a skyscraper, about to jump. However, there is 1% who would be sitting in a lawn chair at the bottom screaming, DO A BACKFLIP!!!

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So a horse walks into a bar. The rancher immediately contacted medical help, and with a little teamwork, the horse was treated and revived.

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How do you kill a blond? Put a scratch and sniff card at the bottom of a pool.

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What is the definition of a "crying shame"? Very similar to the definition of a shame, but moreso.

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Why did the Nazi Doctor drown a Jew in the lake? To see how long it would take a Jew to drown with its big nose. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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What's the difference between a women's running team and a band of pygmies? Quite a lot.

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Yo mamma so poor she got a job.

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I just drank a cola.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Walt disney Walks Into A Bar, The Bartender says "WOAH ITS WALT DISNEY!"

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Whats bloody and is dead. My son.

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What did the mouse say to the elephant that sat on him? Nothing, he died on impact.

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Question: What did one lesbian say to the other lesbian at the grocery store? Answer: Will that be paper or plastic?

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense? You watch a suspenseful TV program and pause at the right moment.

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What's cooler than being cool? An object at absolute zero

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What's the difference between Dick Cheney and Obama? When Obama shoots someone in the face it's bin Laden.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. I don't stalk him on normal days because that is both weird and illegal, thus I cannot come to a conclusion to what he does on opposite day. However, since he is lonely, I hypothesize that he must do something social, since the opposite on that is lonely.

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roses are red leather is black when when god made you he was smoking crack

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Two Jewish Rabbis are sitting in a sandbox....

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Once upon a time, there was a Y O U M A D and they all lived happily ever after.

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You know what's funnier than 24? 25.

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What is life? It is a sexually transmitted disease which always ends in death. There is currently no known cure.

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What did the black man do when he found a bucket full of KFC chicken on the ground? He promptly looked around for anyone who might have bought it. After searching around, with no takers, he ate some of the chicken and saved the rest. He brought it back to his apartment and left it in his fridge, so he may later eat it as leftovers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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