three black men walk into a bar. they where asked polity to leave.

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Why was the kid late for his dentist appointment? He was abducted and he's been missing for thirteen days

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What's red and smells like green paint? Red Paint

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I am a dwarf and im digging a hole... lol jokes dwarfs are mythological creatures and therefore do not exist

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What did Jimmy do on his 8th birthday? Turn 8.

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The NBA and womens sports

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So a little girl walked into a bar... A concerned adult then told the bartender. The bartender's name was Jim. Jim then asked the girl if she knew her phone number. The little girl said nothing and the bar tender was perplexed at the petrified look on the girls face. Jim the bartender then called the police and explained the situation.Once the girl was brought back to the police station it was learned that she had been missing for three months in a nearby county. The police then return to the bar to find that the owner had multiple kidnapped little girls in a cage under the bar that only he and the kidnapped girls knew about before the cops and Jim the bartender discovered it. The police then arrested The owner of the bar. He stood trial and was senteced to death row, he remains there today.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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whats funnier than 24?????????????????????????????????????????? 25

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What is grey and smells like sand? A Rock.

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That moment where the screen shouts "HE MAN" And you look at the guy and go... Hmm did they say He-Man or She-Man? HE MAN!

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What did the left nut say to the right nut? Nothing

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What's red, black, and green all over? A dead black bear. Just no green.

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purple pickles

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A baby seal walks into a club. It is eventually beaten to death and eaten.

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How do you get a blonde's attention? Throw deodorant at her until she looks.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

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Roses are red Violets are blue What was I saying? Oh yeah, your adopted.

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What happens when a llama falls off a cliff? It dies.

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What did the priest say to the rabbi ? I'm gay.

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What is funnier than Miley Cirus getting a Record Album? Justin Bieber's voice.

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Why did the man go to McDonalds? Because he was a pedophile.

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Three men are travelling in a hot-air balloon, but it starts to go down over an uninhabitable desert. One of the men must sacrifice himself to save the other two by jumping overboard to reduce the weight in the balloon. Nobody is brave enough to volunteer, and they all die painful deaths.

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What do you call an old man who took too much viagra? And ambulance, because he could possibly get a heart attack from the fluctuations in blood pressure

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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