Were you born on a freeway? because thats were all accidents happen.

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why do my feet smell so bad? because i havent washed them for 5 days

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Two peanuts walked into a bar... One was a salted.

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roses are read violets are blue my fanny is orange I have the flu my name is gemma

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What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

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Whats white and looks like a bunny? a rabbit

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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did you hear about the argument between jamie jacob and dylan? daniel killed them all

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getting up in the morning is the 3nd hardest thing :DDD

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A horse walks in to a bar. The barman says: "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse and can neither speak nor understand English. The horse is startled by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on it's way out.

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Why did the lion get lost? -The jungle is massive

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A jew goes to a bar,then wakes up with presents under his candels.

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So i walk in my house after drinking that night.... my wall is green

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What does an Asian man, Black man, & a Hick all have in common with automatic weapons? The Asian is Vietnamese and fought in the Nam, The Black guy lives in the ghetto and was shot in a drive by, and the hick and his best friend got drunk and shot each other in the foot.

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An Irishman and an Englishman are having a heated conversation about Rugby in a pub. Another Irish comes to the pub.. He is promptly given a bar stool and menu so that he can order.

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hi bros hahahhah like it up, ah ma gkenny

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Q: Why does a zebra have stripes? A: Because Sarah Jessica Parker is a horse.

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Scott Gomez

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A man walks into a bar. It was a metal bar. He got hurt.

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As little Timmy crossed the finish line his heart raced with excitement he had just won the big race. Later he and his family went home to celebrate they had pizza and chips and soft drinks. Then they played scrabble and watched spiderman 2. After that Timmy went to sleep. When his parents found him that morning they mourned and mourned because their hero little Timmy was still asleep.

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How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

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whats worse then finding out your girlfriend cheated on you.. -9/11

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Random Guy: "Oh god, why was I born with so much common sense?" God: "You must be mistaken, or else you wouldn't be asking me."

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Why didn't you return my call? Cause I F@%Kin Hate you!...And Just wanted to tell you in person....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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