Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole? A: A pedophile.

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Q:Why does poop stink? A: it comes from butts.

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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Why did the white comedian get booed off stage? Because his jokes were humorless and offensive.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Totsie Roll totsie pop? Altough many tests have been done, there still isn't a certain number. There are many variables involved with this question.

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what did the american say to the other american? get out of the way i gotta go to mcdonalds!

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Why are blondes so dumb? They aren't dumb they just have prejudice against them

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Why did the lady spill her coffee? The waiter accidently ran into her and then apologized.

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Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7 is a serial killer.

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If a man is alone in the woods and there is no one there to tell he's wrong is he right? If a tree falls on a women.... Before we tell the rest why was there a tree I the kitchen?

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What's worse than smelly feet? Smelly hands.

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Q:What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor?

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what did the dog do when he saw the flea?he ate it because he didn't know what would happen next

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So an alien walks into a bar......... and everyone runs away secreaming because theres an alien in the bar.

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Q.Why was the fat man sweeting A. Because he just ran and his body is trying to maintain thermal equilibrium

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jgkbk,mn

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What's the difference between a black man and and a bag of crap? A lot, but mostly the bag

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What do you call a woman that is on her period? -A girl that is expirencing a difficult to control flow of blood through the clitorus.

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What's Arabs' cutlery? Bread

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How does a blonde restart her computer? Seriously, you guys, I need help. I'm not a very technological person.

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Dozer has a soul

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what is funnier then this joke? A jewish muslim that is asian, balck, and mexican,and is woomen crossing the border then geting shot and hung by a rope of dead babies

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FIRE!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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