A: What is faster than a speeding bullet? B: Light

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You're mother is so fat the doctors say she has a serious obesity problem and will most likely have to go on cholesterol pills and begin regulating her diet properly.

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how do you get a cat out of a tree? -call the fire department

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People eat. Thats because we poop. No its the other way around. Sloppy Joes. Thats what my poop looks like. Oh no im eating poop in between two buns!

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How do you get a black guy down from your tree? You tell him to do so.

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What did the old man say? Im old

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I hate girls that try to act hard. Like calm down you dont got a dick.

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why did mary fall off the swing? Cause she had no arms. Why didnt she get back up? Cause she had no friends. Knock knock whos there Definately not mary !

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Lil' Wayne

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Well You're Full Of It . -Full Of What ? Well , Probably Blood And Other Organs You Can't Live Without . .

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Why did the 60 y/o man take erectile dysfunction pills? His doctor prescribed them.

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Whats pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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The Christian Bible.

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Who is green? Mike Wazowsky.

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I dont often wash my hands in the bathroom but when i do its so people dont think im gross.

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I woke up this morning and ran five miles. I am proud of myself for engaging in such a healthy lifestyle.

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When did the War of 1812 begin? 1963.

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? Neither have i

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Why was six afraid of seven You would be scared to if your name was six and you knew someone named seven

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Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: A deaf guy

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A man wearing a 'What Would Jesus Do' bracelet and a livestrong bracelet goes up to a blind kid and rubs his eyes and the kid can see. The kid was was not used to the bright lights and wandered into traffic, was hit by a car and killed instantly.

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A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The guy didn't respond because he was deaf.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Your neighbor My neighbor who? I already told you, it's pronounced "Wu". I'm very sorry, Mr. Wu

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A black man walks into a bar with a lovely parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks "hey where did you get that Africa says the parrot...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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