why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I am awesome, you are not, i am awesome, you smoke pot!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what do you call a black man flying a plane? a pilot you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why wasn't Steve paying attention in class? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

The adventures of HAROLD THE MONGOOSE: Harry dug a hole. He did not like that hole so he dug a new one. He liked that hole so he did not dig another one. Harry slept on a rock. He did not like that rock. So he smashed it with a ham. Harry found a new rock. He liked that rock so he didn't smash it with a ham. Harry ate a snake. He did not like that snake so he regurgitated it. Harry ate another snake. He liked that snake so he did not regurgitate it. Harry encountered a bush. He did not like that bush. Unfourtianately for Harry, that Bush became president.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How to confuse a blonde. Buy 14 monkeys dye them purple and orange and hide them in her wardrobe

thumb_up thumb_down +61

What's worse then a dead baby? a dead baby in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do the words lightbulb and lightweight have in common? The word light is in both words. Other than that absolutely nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I have had depression for several years and have recently been diagnosed with diabetes. I therefore drink diet soda and have sugar free snacks. Which leads to diahrea. Lots of diahrea.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

My therapist says that I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I did not thumb this up myself!... *click* Whoops! At least I am not that douche Moral Man eh? Moral: Whoops! Now if I just don't accidentally type in the answer and...

thumb_up thumb_down -3

the fat lady said that it runs in the family im pretty sure nothing RUNS in her family

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the girl cross the road? To get run over by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Whats worse than losing your car keys? Watching your 4 year old son get visciously raped by a 20stone sex hungry pedophile and knowing you cant do anything about it because the sex hungry pedophile is your dad and he is the alpha male of the family so he has full mating rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's big and gray and can't climb a tree? A parking lot.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q. What do you call a guy who only drinks lite beer. A. His name.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: What did one car say to another? A: Nothing. Cars can't speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's brown and sticky? Shit

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Roses are red,Violets are blue, Who the hell are you,Get the hell away

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What is better then winning the special olympics? Not being retarded

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: Why did the little boy who just got over a terrible sore throat fall down the stairs? A: His legs were brutally torn off by wolves.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: What do sleeping pills and coffee have in common? A: Absolutely nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Whats the difference between a horse and a pile of wheat? Its a pile of wheat.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops