What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back at her

thumb_up thumb_down

Donald Trump

thumb_up thumb_down +5

John Travolta went to a seafood disco last week.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Whats The diference between a park bench and a black man? A park bench can support a family of five hahahhaahahah

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Check this web out www.hurr-durr.com

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped 9.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a penguin in the desert? Most likely a dead penguin.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A Chinese man, a Mexican man, and an American man are all on a plane in-flight when the pilot screams over the intercom, "We are two pounds over weight! The plane is going down unless you all throw off useless things that have no value in your countries!" The Chinese man throws out a pair of chopsticks and an egg roll and says, "I have too many of those in my country." The Mexican does the same with a taco and sombrero, repeating, "I have too many of those in my country." The American looks around his items pondering what things are too common in the USA. He locks his eyes on the Mexican. The other passengers are shocked as the American throws off a hamburger and a football.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are Red Violets are Blue No they're not They're purple

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did Jesus say when he walked on water? I'm drowning

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One you can smash with a hammer and the other is just a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

My zombie busting team: Tank: The Terminator Mechanic: Tony Stark Demolitions: Superman Medic: Gandalf Bait: Justin Bieber

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Two guys jump off a cliff... the third guy calls an ambulance.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Man: Did it hurt? Woman: huh? Man: Did it hurt when i killed your family?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do u kill somebody You throw a fridge at him

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names! *ba dum chzz*

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How did the stuntman die? He was gored by a buffalo on a trip to Yellowstone.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A Dog walks into a bar to order a drink. The bar patrons are at first amused and overjoyed to share their night with a playful pet, until they see that his mouth is foaming and he's already started trying to eat the nearest child. Screams erupt as the bartender calls 911. The dog manages to injure two patrons before he is tazed by the police and taken to be put down. One of the men injured has to have his arm amputated, which is unfortunate for his new career as a heart surgeon. The hospital informs him that they have no choice but to force him to resign, after they hand him his lengthy medical bill. He ends up losing his apartment, and his fiance leaves him for someone more stable financially. The man then drinks himself to death, after attacking and killing a local dog with his one remaining hand. The dog belonged to a new family on the block, whose son had terminal cancer. Due to the cancer, the boy had trouble making friends in a new area, and the dog (Sonny) was his one source of companionship and, by extension, hope. The boy is later admitted to the hospital for breathing problems, and after a 4-hour surgery, is pronounced dead. His attending physician was quoted as saying "He was so close to beating back the infection, but all of a sudden it seemed like he just... gave up." I mean, how was a dog supposed to order a drink in the first place, am I right?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Getting up for a black person on a buss

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Next up, Sharpi and Ryan take their audition faliure very seriously in "columbine high school musical"

thumb_up thumb_down +16

i love................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................ ME

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road. It's head was cut off and it didn't know where it was

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How do you make asian ice cream you mix it with a textbook

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops