How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Roses are red Violets are blue your mum is fat and so are you

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every 60 seconds in africa a minute passes

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Why did little Timmy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

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A: B: No pun intended.

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What did the avocado say to the person? I can't talk

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Time is irrelevant in this scenario because if this question is based in the United States it is highly unlikely an elephant will be near a fence you own, let alone sit on it, an activity rarely done by elephants and usually projected by humans onto other animals.

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A man walks up to a dead baby. The baby is dead

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Why did little Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating in a lake? Bob.

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Why did the slut have white stuff on her mouth? Because she just ate ice-cream.

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What is the difference between a mom and a dad? One is a mom and the other is a dad. Why couldn't Fred see the board? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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What's the difference between a baby and a mushroom? One is delicious, the other is a mushroom.

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Who is so stupid they could literally be classified as mentally retarded? Evan Lovro

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I wouldn't touch ellen degeneres with a 10 foot lance. However, i would shake her hand with my hand. Lesson: 10 foot lances are no way to touch ppl.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Multiple Personalities So do I Me to Don't forget about me!

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Penis.

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Q: What do you do if A bunch Of black Guys Are raping a white Girl A: Throw A Basketball at them.

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Why are old people such terrible drivers? As we age, our eyesight slowly deteriorates and our reflexes become slower. So, in order to be cautious, the elderly avoid high speed chases and such to maintain their and others safety. Or they could have alzheimers and not realize they are in a moving vehicle at all, it's really a tossup

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Why couldn't the blonde read the road map? Because she was blindfolded and tied up in the trunk.

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why did the little girl fall off the swing. she had no arms so I pushed her off

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What's worse than the holocaust. I'm a Nazi so the holocaust wasn't actually that bad.

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Whats gayer than driving a prius Buttsex

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I'm not wearing underwear Why not Cause I have built in underwear

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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