Mary had a little lamb, But it couldn't stop her from being raped.

How do you keep children off your lawn? Molest them

A woman was struck and killed by a truck as she crossed the road. Who's fault is it? The woman's, if she hadn't left the kitchen, she would still be making me sandwitches...

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for his birthday? A bike

What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? A bike

What do you call a fish with no eyes? The Mexican blind cave tetra (Astyanax mexicanus).

Why did the fish cross the road? Because the chicken was carrying an aquarium.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

whats worse than 1 bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings.

Q: What did the nazi say to hitler? A: You like my Auschwitz?

Why is Michael J. Fox unable to build domino chains? He only has one domino.

how do u get the baby to stop choking? take ur dick out of its mouth!!!

A family's house was possessed by ghosts causing them great fear and discomfort. Who are they gonna call? A real estate agent.

Why did the black guy sing? Cause he can sdf sdfsd f sdf ds f sd fsd f sd f ds g sdfgh fsh sdf h dfsg dfs g df gdfgdf g d yeah thats right

Q.Why was the fat man sweeting A. Because he just ran and his body is trying to maintain thermal equilibrium

Knock Knock! But nobody was home and couldn't hear it.

Q: Why can't dinosaurs talk? A: Because they are all dead.

Q. What do you get when you mix eggs, mashed potatoes and salt? A. A pretty good batter for mashed potato pancakes.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Its a chicken, giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

I was on Facebook today. Opened someones wall. Read "LIKE if you know someone that needs to be smacked in the face with a shovel." So I liked it and wrote my exboyfriend's name.......

Why doesn't the little boy talk to his mom? Because she smells like barbecue sauce.

Why do people laugh at anti-jokes? Because of a chemical reaction to a neurological phenomenon that results from the brain's response to external stimuli.

Why did the blond girl walk into the street pole? Because she wasn't paying attention.

A boy kills DEER & cooks it & doesn't tell friends what it is. He gives a clue "Its what my girlfriend calls Me!..

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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