roses are red violets are black why is your chest as flat as my back

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obama is a good president

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two muffins are in a oven the one muffin says jee its hot in here and the other muffin says wow a talking muffin

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Hi there! As the Director of Anti-Joke, I would like to thank the users for their contributions so far. We are currently raising money in order to gradually end our dependence on advertisements for revenue. Your participation is so important to us, and in order to continue our service we request a minimum donation of $100 for continued use of the Anti-Joke website. Please submit your payment by the end of November 2012. All major credit cards are accepted, as is PayPal. Thank you again for your cooperation and understanding as we grow in our services.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A little boy falls into the mud Wanna hear a clean joke? He takes a bath with bubbles Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is Michal Jackson.

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yo' momma's so fat that when she saw a doctor he told her that she was overweight.

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A boy and his dad are in bed and his dad is telling him a story. And the cow told the farmer to get out of the bar. Now, what did the farmer say? Holy shit a talking cow!

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How do you know a blonde's been in your refrigerator?? There's lipstick on the cucumber!

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What's the difference between a Jew and a bar of soap? You don't rub your balls with a Jew.

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What does a sock, pillow and a lamp have in common? -they all live underwater expect for the sock, pillow and lamp -Matt

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Knock Knock Who's there? no one, you've got Psycosis

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- Knock knock - Those knock jokes are getting old - Indeed. Scratch scratch - MY DOOR

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What do you call a former pope. Dead!

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The Female Orgasm

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OBAMA

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Before Marriage: Boy: Ah at last. I can hardly wait. Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: No don't even think about it. Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of Course. Always have and always will. Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: Never. Why are you even asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get. Girl: Will you hit me? Boy: Hell no. Are you crazy? Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yes. Girl: Darling! After Marriage: (Read from bottom to top)

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What did the orphan boy get for Christmas? Cancer. What did he get for his birthday? He didn't make it that far...

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*knock knock* *knock knock * ? ? The man didnt answer because he died of a stroke

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What is worse then failing a test? Cancer

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Grammar ... the difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you're shit.

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It burns when I pee sometimes.

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What does a man that has to go to the bathroom do when there is no restroom within a reasonable walking radius? He gets in his car and drives to the nearest rest stop.

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? we will never know he never opened it

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What do you call a kid with an eye-patch and a speech impediment? Names.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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