Why was the new born on the orphanage's doorstep? He was an accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's worse than finding a work in your apple? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

who's a slut... you're mom

thumb_up thumb_down +19

The awkward moment when you notice its 2012 and we're all gonna die, so you buy and elephant and name him John.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why can't the boy ride his bike to school? It has no wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did one muffin say to the other in the oven? Nothing. They're muffins.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the homeless man get for his birthday. Nothing. Get it: He lived a life along with a giant family and on christmas eve 2012 he broke his kneecap and was in the E.R. He got out of the hospital on christmas only to come home to find a burning house; his house. Every member in his family died except for him as they were all in the house when it caught on fire. The house completely burnt and crumbled, and that is why he is homeless.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How did Hellen Keller's parents torture her? They made her go to bed when she wasn't very sleepy

thumb_up thumb_down +31

what would Michael jakson do if he was alive? scream and hit the top of his coffin

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Whats the same about a jew and firewood? They both burn.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

9

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did Jimmy drop his Ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

An antijoke

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should? Fly halfway across the world when the environment turns hostile.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why was the teenage girl crying? She wasn't, she was just experimenting with her emotions.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea. A: Tsunami victims.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

why did the boy fly away because his mum shot him out of a cannon

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the aeroplane engine fallon the house? Because of Donnie Darko

thumb_up thumb_down -19

whaT DID HEVEN SAY TO THE FRIDGE hAVE YOU GOT A COLD

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Moral: Sure, your number is the one that ends with 853 right? Do not reply if I am right. Moral2: BECAUSE TOP COMMENT... AND SERIOUSLY, THAT NUMBER BETTER END WITH 69 AFTER I CALL YOU! DO NOT REPLY

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What`s red and smells like blue paint? A sunburned baby drinking green paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops