what did one mental hospital worker say to the other? Billy your not a mental hospital worker, give heather back her clothes so I can escort you back to your cell.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Suicide isn't the answer, it's just the solution. -by Ross

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A man goes to the doctor and is told, "you have cancer." He then spends his last days writing a bucket list, but losing his leg in a wood chipper before he could complete a single item on his list

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Once upon a time a guy took his pants off why because he was touching himself

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did Helen Keller see on her trip? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What's faster than a black man carrying your TV? The law enforcement that promptly catches him and is about to charges him with theft regardless of his ethnicity because stealing someone else's property is just generally an unlawful thing to do.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q. What did the dog say to the cat? A. Ruff.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why did the zebra cross the road?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man walks into a bar and gets drunk. He then goes home and proceeds beating his many wives in a drunken fit of rage.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I swear to drunk officer I'm not god.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

you know why they're called ear wigs, right? cause they go in your ears! then they wig out? no, they kill you.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Fred: says hi Bob: says shut up why the hell do you have to be so rude!!! Fred:thankyou ob thats better

thumb_up thumb_down -23

my bubbles!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen cheese

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did grandma drop the dish? She had a heart attack and died, falling to the ground and thus bringing the plate with her to the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

My mom says hi ............ Jk she says hello

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How many easily offended people does it take to change a light bulb? Shut up, that's not funny!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why do things made by Glen taste so good? Because he has mastered the cream

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How do you knock a clown off a swing? Hit it with an axe multiple times.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you make a businessman cry? Shoot him in the kneecaps.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did Sally fall off her bike? Because sally has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down

how do you get a 1 armed moron out of a tree? you wave

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What would happen if you put a marshmellow in a tractor Because 7, 8, 9

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Why cant Sally ride her bike? Because she has ceribal pausly

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops