What did Jimmy get for his first bithday A coffin

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An old man walks across the street. Several cars start to honk in irritation, for they are in a hurry and the man is walking quite sluggishly.

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What did the southern uncle say to his nephew when he woke up? Good morning, son.

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What do you call a deer with no eye? No eye deer ( get it, it's like the red, necked southern speaking states )

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How do you catch an elephant? Dig a nice deep hole in the ground, and fill it with ashes. Next, line the outside of the hole with peas. When the elephant comes to take a pea, kick it in the ash hole.

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why did the woman call the police? because there was a murderer pointing a gun at her at her son.

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3 dogs, a blue dog, a yellow dog, and a red dog. The owner was a man named Jeff. Now the blue dog was always sad so Jeff named him blue. The yellow dog was always scared so Jeff named him yellow. Now the red dog he was red because he had red fur, so Jeff named him red. One day when Jeff was reading his newspaper, he accidentally hit his coffee and it fell on the floor. Question: What did Jeff do? I don't know.

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Whats the difference between a frog?

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pady irish man paddy english man and paddy african man go on a magic slide wat ever you say will be at the bottem paddy irish man said gold paddy english man silver paddy african man almost fell off so he said shit buthalf way down he thought it was fun so he said wee

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what's your favorite soccer team? liverpool

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After tesco's horse burgers, what's next? My lidl pony

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Knock, Knock. Come in!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the KFC man was chasing him.

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A women driver prepares to park in a small space between to cars on the side of a road. She safely and flawlessy parallel parks, and proceeds to enter a nearby coffe shop for an important business meeting.

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knock knock who's there greg greg who greg is crying because his grandma dementia made her forgot all about him

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What did little Timmy get his grandmother for Christmas? A coffin

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Two condoms walk into a gay bar. The people in the bar are perplexed that two inanimate objects are capable of locomotion.

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Did You Hear About That Mexican Who Went To College? no. Well plenty of them go to college every day. thats good to know.

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roses are red voilets are red bushes are red trees are red HOLY SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE!!!!!!

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Q.What happens when you win a trophy? A. You don't, there is always someone better than you.

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Q: What were little Jonathon's grandmas last words before dying of Alzheimer's? A: Who are you?

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What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Eating mud

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Make some fucking lemonade.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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