Fred and DooDah go to their favorite lake to fish. After getting out on the water, DooDah hooks a huge fish, which pulls him overboard, and he drowns. Fred is brokenhearted and goes to tell DooDah's wife the news. She opens the door and hears Fred sing: "Guess who drowned in the lake today? DooDah! DooDah!"

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Why wasn't the woman in the kitchen? Because she was in the living room.

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Two Jews were fighting over a penny and then they realizde that they may be made fun of for this and quickly stopped.

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What's the difference between a jew and a boyscout? Boyscouts came back from camp

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A friend? Just a friend that you told to stop pretending to be me? And you had no idea whatsoever that I am Nero as in not one of the six hundred thousand wabbabes?

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Your mum is so fat, she has a larger bmi than someone with a healthy bmi

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How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself pink and throw green banana at her.

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Why did little Jimmy cry when his Rolls Royce got destroyed? Because his parents were in it.

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Me - "Wanna hear something that will make me laugh?" *giggles* friend - "Sure." teehee if anyone gets it.

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A man approaches an attractive young woman at a party. He asks her if a rag smells like chloroform and proceeds to hold the rag up to her face. She passes out, the man takes her into a nearby bedroom and rapes her. He casually leaves the party. He will most likely continue this vile act for years to come.

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How did the little boy break his arm? He was trampleed by elephants.

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A Pilot.

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Why did the boy fall? He got tackled by a man that was 400 pounds.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was Hellen Keller.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a picnic table? Alot of things

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Are you thinking Arby's? No. My grandmother died of tuberculosis and it's troubling me.

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21 Ways to Annoy Everybody 1) Pretend to be one of the Bush family. Doesn't matter which. 2) Have an uncontrollable lusting for someone else every five minutes. 3) Pretend to be from different ethnic backgrounds every hour, and when people ask you about it, answer like a hillbilly would. 4) Act like a hillbilly. Period. 5) Improvise Italian operas. 6) Gossip about someone to their face. 7) Answer every question with a question. 8) Repeat yourself constantly. 9) Act like a member of the opposite sex. 10) Repeat yourself constantly. 11) Act like Mr. Flanders from The Simpsons. 12) Repeat yourself constantly. 13) Change what you repeat every now and then. 14) Use homonyms in your e-male that the spell cheque would knot sea as miss steaks. 15) Change what you repeat every now and then. 16) Talk to someone while looking at somebody else. 17) Employ in your casual banter extensive vocabulary that will befuddle thy contemporaries. 18) Change what you repeat every now and then. 19) One word: Caffeine. 20) Another word or two: Caffeine and Sugar. 21) stringwhateveryousayintoonelongwordsoitshardtomakeoutwhatyou'resaying.

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Why did the blond paint in the nude? because she couldn't find her clothes, and wanted to express her emotions through art

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Q: Why was the chicken waterboarded? A: Because the guy liked being cruel to animals.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Poems don't have to rhyme... Refrigerator

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A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says "get out you jew!" The bar tender apparently was a Nazi.

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Once upon a time, there was a horse that had no legs, it laid on the ground it's entire life and died. The end.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

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So, I was walking down the street. As i walked past a oak door an entrance to a mental institution, I heard a bored voice going, "eleven, eleven, eleven". My curiosity, like a cat, got better of me and I decided to take a peek through the key hole and see the eleven things being counted. As soon as I had my eye on the key hole, I was poked in the eye by a metal rod. Startled, I feel back to the street. And, sure enough, heard the same bored voice, going, "twelve, twelve, twelve".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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