A man walks into a vagina

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was a turkey, idiot.

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The kid next door was running around shouting spells and carrying a wand. ''I bet you'd love to be like Harry Potter!'' I told him. ''Yes!'' he exclaimed. So I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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once upon a time jeff peterson was taking a daily walk when he stops and stares at a strange object. it was an assasin with a knife who slaughtered jeff decapitating his head while his family cry's. THE END

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I got put through anger management when I was a child it made me mad.

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Caolan and Eamon

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench. The bucket.

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Why did the college student post unfunny anti-jokes on anti-joke.com? Because he was bored shitless.

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungie cord? My ass.

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How many lollipops does it take to shingle a dog? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes

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Your mom is so stupid, she thought the square root of pie was 3.14156

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why dont we just take bikini bottom and push it somewhere else

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How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face? She didn't use enough sunscreen.

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A little boy had a candle by his bedside. It fell over. The candle was fake, and it didn't burn down his house. When he woke up, he picked up the candle, put it back on his nightstand and had a wonderful day.

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42

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what did the tree say when it fell down? Nothing it is humanly impossible for a tree to talk. Especially after it fell down. I mean that would hurt.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, The middle one's for you!

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So a guy with no legs and no arms is on his death bed. He asks to sky dive one time before he dies.

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boobs

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A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

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Do not believe the sentence below. Believe the sentence above.

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Erron who the hell are you? How many people are you going to use before you finish whatever the fuck is on your agenda?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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