Roses are red Violets are blue My dick can talk And it says it wants you

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A jew, a black, and a gay are walking together. The black points out a new house.

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Q. What do Jack the Ripper and Winnie the Pooh have in common? A. Same middle name.

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What do you get if you put a baby in a blender? An Erection

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Q: What does a psychic have in common with a stone? A: The bible decrees that psychics are witches and should be stoned and something topical about the stone.

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A guy dared his friend to jump off a bridge for 10 bucks. His friend, fearing for his life did not jump.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Its the pizza man. Get your yellow no good keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead. 1,2...10

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a short term memory Roses are red

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What's the difference between 2 pieces of meat? Nothing

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what did the man do when he went to save the other man from drowning? drowned with him...

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why is nick a dumb ass? because hes not a smart ass

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whats wores than eating a vag. a gaint vag eating you.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She didn't own a car.

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a few drinks, and goes home an hour or so later.

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Why doesn't Micheal Jackson do a music video with Usher? Because he is dead.

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Why did the Jew rob the bank? -He was a criminal.

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Lizzy doesnt shave or shower. She just went to the bathroom in the middle of the school hallway

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Hey I just met? you and this is crazy I have alzheimers Hey I just met you

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27

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when u cant say fuck say firetruck because it starts with f and it ends with uck ?firetruck?

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud.

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a boy scout wipes his butt with a dollar cause he had no toilet paper then the other boy scout hears him screaming they meet up later and the other boy scout askes why he was scream and the first boy scout says that is hard to wip your butt with 4 quarters.

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A lady forgot to feed her goat. When she went to feed it, It wasn't there. Why? She didn't have a goat. Another lady forgot to feed her cat. When she went to feed it, it wasn't there. Why? It died 2 days earlier. A man forgot to feed his cow. When he went to go feed it, it wasn't there. Why? They had ate it for dinner last night. A teenage boy forgot to feed his hamster. When he went to feed it, it wasn't there. Why? He spent so much time playing video games that it ate itself. So the boy had his mom make him a sandwich.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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