Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero Because it's impossible

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No, we are all different, none of us are the same, you however, have no match, your ability to think influence and inspire even today, is unmatched. It is he who is unmatched, who stands alone.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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A brick bent down to suck my flapjack, Then he got stuck, oh what the unpleasant, This angered the brick, he lay on the grass, he shoved a stick straight up his bellybutton.

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Yo mamma's so old she is dead.

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i have a pet duck, when i take it a bath i use cold water, if i use hot water it and i drop a carrot in the tub it will think im cooking it.

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What was the strangest part about meeting a girl called Suzie? She had arms.

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Whats better than throwing a baby off a building? Catching it with a pitchfork.

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Why did the rabbit like to wear shoes? It doesn't.

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What did the doctor say to the recently diagnosed AIDS patient? I'm sorry there is nothing we can do.

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why are black people good at basketball? because they practice

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A strange man knocks at the door He's your son

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Why is it a shame if a kid gets run over by a car? I like the newspaper headlines about stabbings better.

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That was totally mean! I mean I was in no way going to say any of that to you! Especially not the last part, sorry that must have been part of the suggestion or something, I barely ever tell myself stuff like that, I mean stop it okay? I mean I totally read it and all but I was all like "I am notnot typing that" please stop it, its humiliating.

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I asked a Jewish girl for her number. she rolled up her sleeve.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm sorry to say it but i hate you

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What's the difference between a giraffe and an erection? An erection is much easier to obtain.

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What starts with P and ends in ORN? Porn.

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why did the little boy start to cry? because his parents didn't love him

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what goes ha ha ha ..plop? We are all going to die.

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? They may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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what do you call a mentally and physically obese man? nothing until you know or obtain his name

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me and joey are going to watch the football game, at this point you relize you shouldn't hang out with joey and the other guy because it is joey and I not me and joey

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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