A lion walks in to a bar, and murders everyone inside. This is why animals are not aloud in bars.

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What do you say if you see a monkey driving a car? Nothing , you run away because primates are incapable to have motor skill and will probably crash within the next 50 feet

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What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A:I don't know i was asking you P.S. leave your answer in the comments below :D

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What is worse than getting a cold ? Finding a dead baby in your mailbox

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what did the 3 hispanic men say to the fat guy? you're in our seats

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Penis

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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Jack Oliver has a Bowl.

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A man goes to his doctor and his doctor says, "I've got good news and bad news, which do you want first?" The man says, "The good news." The doctor says, "You were supposed to say the bad news, now you've ruined the joke."

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Q:why did the man jump of the house A:he did not I threw a frige at him

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Knock knock! Knock knock!! Knock knock!!! Knock knock!!!! WHOSE THERE! Wait its a woodpecker

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Why was the black man tired? It was 3 AM, and he just came back from his demanding job as a surgeon.

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Kid hands Lebron a dollar, asks for change Lebron hands him back 4 quarters.

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Two women that are both blonde were driving together down a hill. Suddenly, the brakes fail and one blonde says "Oh no, we're gonna crash. The blonde in the passenger seat says "Don't worry, there's a stop sign." Then the blonde driver says "I'm not dumb okay, that's yield sign.

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ROSE ARE BROWN VIOLETS ARE BROWN WHO SH*IT IN MY GARDEN!!!!!

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I went to the doctors the other day for a check up and the doctors says to me "sorry your going to have to stop wanking" and I say to him " what! Why?" and the doctor says "I'm trying to examine you".

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How does an asian man drive? He hops into the car, turns the ignition, slowly accelerates from his parking spot and merges into everyday traffic

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whats 2+2? 69 LOL

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Why didn't the girl paint her nails white? Because in this society, that would be considered racist.

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A boy wakes up in the morning and says i"'m feeling kind of fishy today," the boy's dad walks in and relpies "that's because you are a fish."

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What's black and white and has difficulty turning corners? A nun with a javelin stuck through the neck.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I peek in your window, Yes, I'm watching you

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What did god say when a black person was born? Damn I burnt one

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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