What did the deaf, dumb, blind, and mute child get for his birthday? Nothing, his parents hate him.

boo

A blonde read the newspaper the other day and she saw "Sarah Piplin-laid by 5000 men" She reported it to the owner of the company as I felt it was not appropriate for a family newspaper. The person at the other end of the line asked the blonde, "are you blonde?" "Yes, how do you know?" she replied. "Because it says Sahara Pipeline, you idiot!"

What do you call a black man with his doctorate in the field of marine biology? Doctor

what happens when a panther and a gorilla fight? i dont know i never seen it before.

My dog got out of it's cage. So I found it and be the shit out of

Q: What's the difference between lucky charms and a baby? A: One is magically delicious and the other is a breakfast serial.

What's worse than discovering that you have contracted HIV? Stumbling upon a mass genocide. HIV's pretty bad though.

What did the white guy say to the Mexican when he entered the US? How was your flight?

this sentence will end in the way you expected.

Q:what has two legs and bleeds A: a dog cut in half

Your mamas so old that she sat next to Jesus in kindergarten?

A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is legally blind.

Women's rights.

Roses are red Violets are blue You think you're smart But I've got a plan for you.. Leaves are green Stems are too You lied to me Now I will shoot you.. Violets are blue Roses are red You made me angry And now you are dead.

Why did Jimmy fall over? Jimmy was hit by a bus.

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his 8th birthday? Prosthetic arms and legs.

Q: Why did George Lopez walk into a Taco Bell? A: To purchase a 5-layer Gordita Burrito

OMG YOU BOUGHT ME FLOWERS THANK YOU

Why did the man have no head? It was blown off in Iraq 2 and days ago

A man in a wheelchair walked into a bar. No he didn't.

Why did the frog cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

What did the robot say to the boy? Nothing, the robot malfunctioned and started to strangle the boy. The authorities tried to get the robot to stop but robots are too strong. When the robot had killed the boy, it self destructed.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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