what is the worst thing in the galaxy? runing out of dr.pepper :(

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Paris Hilton spend 2 whole days in the slammer due to possesion of narcotics. I would have gotten 20 to life... no... it's not funny...

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Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

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What's green, grows in my basement, and if fun to smoke? Mold. I lied about it being fun to smoke.

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Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

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what did Susie, the girl with no arms, say after she fell off the swing? nothing, she was killed on impact.

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Daddy look! Roses! No son, those are rhododendrons... Daddy how do you spell rhododendrons? Uh... never mind son those are roses. So... Daddy how do you spell roses? Son, never mind that is a dog. So daddy how do you spell... SHUT UP! Moral: I put a spell on you.

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My friend thought that an onion was the only food that could make you cry, so I threw a watermelon at his face.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To try to get the antidote for his dying baby chick.

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Once upon a time, your dog got hit by a car this morning

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar and orders a beer. Just kidding, he can't walk.

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A nigger looked up his family tree and a gorrila shit in his face

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Two carnivorous dinosaurs get into a fight. Carnage ensues and many baby dinosaur eggs are stomped on, and in the end they both die.

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its feet are both the same.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? You Know. You Know who?.......GOODBYE!

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Q: Why did the child fall? A: Because I shot him in the leg.

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A guy walks into a bar Many people gather around him to see if he is alright and to tell him he needs to watch where he is going.

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There once was a man from Nantucket who secluded himself from the outside world because of a tragic event that happened to him as a child.

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A gay dyslexic black man walks in to a bar the bar tender say "what'll it be" and then he orders his drink and pays his bill and leaves.

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roses are red violets are blue hey fu i'm making stew out of my own poo

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Roses are red, violets are blue, if you didn't know that, go back to school.

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Tod:Hey Rick wanna hear a joke?Rick:No.

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no u

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A little boy uses a horrible curse against his classmate. The classmate is so angry he tells the teacher. The teacher is so astounded at the little boy's use of language he sends him to the principal. When the principal hears of the foul language he's so ashamed he calls the police. The police can't believe the little boy said such a bad word, they think he deserves to go to court. The court dates are set up. When the Judge hears of the hate words he can think of no other worthy punishment except prison until he turns 21. After the kid is let out he heads for the bar across town where all the ex-prisoners go. He orders up a drink, bartender asks "What'd you do?". The kid explains the curse to the bartender. The barkeep becomes so upset that he kicks the kid out of the bar. While crossing the street to go to another bar he gets hit by a truck. Whats the moral of the story? Look both ways before crossing the street....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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