What's the difference between mustangs and dead babies I don't collect mustangs

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which is faster a) ferrari b) beetle a ferrari

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What's meaner than taking candy from a baby? Throwing the baby off a cliff.

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I once walked into my grandmas house to find her laying face down on the ground. It turns out that everyone was planking but grandma wasn't breathing...

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Why couldn't the little seven year old girl paint her finger nails? She fell in front of a train.

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What's the difference between an elephant & a toaster? ....you can't tell the difference between an elephant & a toaster??

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Why did the house get trashed? Cause the babysitter was a rooster

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Why don't you want to shout "Hi" to your friend Jack on an airplane? Because he's deaf and will not hear you.

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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A duck flew calmly through the air and landed softly on a beautiful lake, where he was then shot for trespassing.

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Why is the average lifespan of Black men in the U.S. only about 52? Hundreds of years of oppression and a lack of nutritional, liberal, and vocational education have put them in a position where gathering the resources necessary to live a healthy and safe life are greatly is incredibly difficult.

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Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

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Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

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What do you call a black kid with dead parents? Depressed

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penis in the camel

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Knock, knock! “Who's there?” “The Gestapo.”

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How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles

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Knock Knock Who's there? Its the pizza man. Get your yellow no good keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead. 1,2...10

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Why did the plane leave late? Because they were out of Kellogg's® Breakfast Cereal.

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jamie looks at jacob for arousment. jacob looks at his dog.........

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An eyeball walks into a bar and the bartender asks him what he would like. The bartender promptly wakes up in jail because he was caught having a meth lab in his basement.

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What do you call red eyes in the dark? A high black man

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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roses are red violets are blue i have deep vein thrombosis .... perpendicular albatross

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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