Why did Johnny throw the clock out the window? His parents are never around to supervise him.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

That didn't hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Guy1: Hey! Do you want to hear a potassium joke? Guy2: Sure! Guy1: K

thumb_up thumb_down -9

GAY PEOPLE

thumb_up thumb_down +51

A man calls his wife, but she doesn't pick up. He comes home and shouts his wife's name, but no one responds. He walks upstairs and sees the bedroom door half-opened. He enters and sees his wife sleeping.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walks briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

I took my mum for a big shop the other day, we used the parent and child spot, not like there's an age range on it. - Peter Kay Try parking in the furthest spot away from the shop and you might burn some calories. -Me

thumb_up thumb_down -34

I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the Catholic Priest get arrested? Tax-evasion.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit him in the face with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Name a country that begins with the letter U A. True B. False C. All of the above D. None of the above

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the catholic priest say to the little boy? Nothing sexual, that kind of behavior isn't as widespread as people think.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

What's worse than opening your pantry door and finding nothing desirable to eat? Repeated high voltage electrical shocks to the anus.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says why the long face? The horse does not reply because it is a horse. He then is confused of where he is and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a couple stools.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

If chuck noris has five dollars and you have five dollars, he has more money than you. He forgot about the extra dollar in his back pocket

thumb_up thumb_down -23

how do you know if a chinese man has been in you house? your homework is done

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the deal with airline food? It's nourishing matter that sustains life, provides energy, and promotes growth distributed by flight attendants.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A black man is driving down the road in a van, and pulls up to a little a girl and says excuse me Miss. The girl replies Ok Ok I will get the car just dont hurt me The black guy says I dont want you to get in my van im taking your mom on a date.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why was the woman convicted or arson? She set her house on fire. Why did she set her house on fire? Her husband was beating her.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A man walks into a movie theater.and attempts to parate a film. He is then caught by employees of the theater and now faces fines and possible jail time for his actions.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why was the blond so easy,because ALL blonds are whores.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's going to happen you? Your going to die just like everyone else in the world. Don't laugh, it's not funny

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the baby die? Because he was shot in the head repeatedly

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Ahmed walks into Abbar. He apologized and they both continued about their jobs as sales assistants at Pottery Barn.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops