Doctor, my husband tells me he doesn't like my figure .... That's irrelevant now, you've contracted a rare blood disease and will be dead within a month.

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what did the banana say to the apple i dont know because bananas dont talk

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Two biscuits were sitting in an oven. One says to the other hows it going, the other says nothing because he knows that biscuits can't talk.

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Why couldn't little Johnny play sports like the rest of the kids? He was diagnosed with polio at the age of 3 and has limited use of his legs.

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Say you are caught in a net with 10 other people in said net at a construction site. A pair of scissors are right next to you and everyone said to use the scissors. But instead of using the scissors, you use your teeth in risk of a broken tooth.

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What's the worst part about being drunk? Your child.

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A man and a women have a conversation. Man: what's 2 + 2 Woman: four. Man: you're correct.

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What's worse then breaking your xbox? Going on a 24 kill streak and having itchy balls.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Refrigerator

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Where did little Annie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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how did hitler lure the jews onto trains to concentration camps? he told them he hid a penny in one of the cars

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What did the brick say to the face? Nothing bricks don't talk.

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Q: Jeff has 10 cookies, He eats 9. Now what does he have? A: Diabetes, Jeff has diabetes.

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How do black people vote? They go to their polling place, register, then vote for their candidate on election day.

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Once there was a man, he was accused of false accusations.

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roses are red, windows are clear, get off your ass and bring me a beer

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How many times has Susie fallen off the swing? Not enough.

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What's worse than kissy face pictures on facebook? The porn pictures on facebook.

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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What did the college student say after he failed his test? He didn't say anything, he was a mute.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in Milwaukee? They woke him up.

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Why was a woman not considered in the role for a stunt driver? Because her skill level was not sufficient enough for the requirements.

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Roses are red Violets are blue God makes things beautiful... What happened to you

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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