Why did the fortune cookie taste bad? I forgot to take the wrapper off.

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What do you can a preschool on fire? A very dangerouse situation

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What did Michelle Obama get for Christmas? Cancer

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a man says "whats shakin bakin" to a friend, but his friend was shaking, because he often has seizures... thats what was shakin

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Why did the baby cross the road? Becuz it was stapled to the chicken.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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What do bicycles and platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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What is the difference between a pillow and a rock The rock could hert you.

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What do you do when a elephant is sitting on your fence? You hit it with a fridge

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Why did the man drop one dozen long stem roses? Because he was hit by a taxi cab

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What's sad about this man who committed suicide? He forgot to return his rented DVDs.

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Chuck Norris was once engaged by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Whats green and fuzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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What do you call a black man who kills jews? a serial killer

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Johnny just finished his pie.

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An alcoholic walks into a bar.... I forgot the rest of the joke but your mother is a prostitute.

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How can you tell if your roomate is gay? If he gets an erection when you have anal sex with him.

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what is worse than a guy pissed?

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I hated hipsters before hating hipsters was mainstream. Does that make it sound like I have a fixed gear bicycle? Because I don't... I promise... What's a fixed gear bicycle, you ask? You mean you don't know???

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Knock knock. Who's there It's Jim O ok come on in

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how do you make a baby cry? throw bricks at his face.

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Why did the stereo break? Cause little Johnny threw a bat at it.

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One kisses says: I have had 3 bottles of water today and I haven't peed yet. His friend says: O you probably have a urinary track infection.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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