Person 1: 'Ask me if I'm a tree' Person 2: 'Are you a tree?' Person 1: 'No.'

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What did the Muslim do when he got on the bus? He realized he was in the wrong place and got on a plane and blew it up.

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Knock knock. Racism.

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An asian and a black guy walked into a bar. An ambulance rushed to their aid as they were in great pain and had a slight chance of becoming paraplegic.

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How many vikings does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Probably just one, though I'd imagine it hard to teach someone from the 9th century C.E. how to, let alone explain electricity.

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A man keeping specific track of time,eagerly waits for a punch line.

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What is the hardest part about rollerblading? Most commonly the balance part.

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Q: What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? A: The wheel chair.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Marla should be home by now, it's nearly 6." He was unaware he had lost his tractor until the next morning.

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Beans, beans good for the heart, the more you eat the more likely you are to grow into a healthy young man/woman with low risk of heart disease.

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You know what makes no cents? 100 cents because 100 cents make a dollar.

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Why did the boy fall of his bike? Becuase he was hit by a couch.

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Where did susie go after the explosion? everywhere. What was susie after the explosion? a puzzle.

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knoc knock! who's there? poo on! poo on who? you!

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Brittney Spears

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone!

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What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a dolphin? Well, the odds of these two animals mating are slim to none. Due to the undeniable fact that dolphins live in the ocean primarily in the warmer tropical waters and grizzly bears live on land in the pacific northwest where the water would be too cold for the dolphin anyway. The dolphin would be swimming around avoiding sharks and the bear would probably be eating a salmon. But if they did breed you would get a dolphinbear. Although a dolphinbear would have a very low chance of survival given it's part dolphin. Dolphins are pussies.

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what is worse than bitting into your apple and finding a worm? 9/11

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What did one Rhino say to the other? My, I'm sure glad we found this decadent watering-hole.

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Why was Little Billy crying? He had cancer. Why was Little Sally crying? Little Billy's cancer was contagious.

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How do you knock a clown off a swing? Hit it with an axe multiple times.

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Once their was an ugly barnacle. He was sooooo ugly that everyone died! The end. :D

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What do you call a cat that growls? A cat

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What did the average man say the the bird? HOODINI

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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