Aye I heard somethin about yo mom WAT!!!!!!!!! She a bop

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Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

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Q: Why did the Little girl fall off the swing set? A: She was Shot in the face.

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Adam Fantuzzi's just jealous because he'll never be the man his mother is

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What did the farmer say when he didn't like his tractor? Man, i don't like this tractor

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a man checks his brand new cellphone to see if he has a text message... He has cancer

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who wins a race a white guy or a black guy? depends who's faster

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Who has two thumbs and lost them? Me but I can't really point at myself due to the lack of thumbs.

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How did the man die? He was killed alive.

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Roses are red violets are blue, I more do like pink like the holes are in you.

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im gonna sue mcdonalds i asked for a hamburger and it was a beef burger -_-

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Good question, probably because I cannot get enough focus to "put a spell" on anyone because of my allergy, I use "autocast" for the rest. "Put a spell" I have not heard that since I was 14, that's really oldschool, and kinda geeky, back then it was code talk... Which is also geeky unless it actually serves a good purpose. AAAND... I served my mandatory time in the army as a minesweeper, we got attacked by fucking allies because of a... Yeah, I killed, people on our same team, still bad people, they offed about everybody else until I showed up, long story short, yeah I offed four of them, but that's like ten years ago.. My turn, you really got a crush on me dont you?

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2 black people and a mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The black person because they decided it would save gas if they all carpooled to their job.

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Boyfriend: Why are you so negative all the time? Girlfriend: I'm not! I'm positive! Boyfriend: No your not your arguing with me right now and you... Narrator: The girl takes the pregnancy test and shoves it in the guys mouth kicks him in the nuts and runs out the door.

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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Roses are red Violets are blue The other color on our flag is white I'm an American and rhyming doesn't matter

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What did the rug say to the floor? I got you covered

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Yo mama so fat, that she feels uncomfortable in a bathing suit.

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What's the difference between a paper towel and a crab cake? Ones a paper towel and ones a crab cake

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Kindness is like peeing in your pants, Everyone can see the results, but only You can feel the warmth

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why does'nt mexico have an olympic team? because they have a poor economy and have other things to worry about.

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What's black and white and red all over. An interracial suicide pact.

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what do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheel barrow? Arrested as a wheelbarrow is not a motorised vehicle, or even a vehicle at all and therefore it is an offence to cross the motorway with it, actually it is probably an offence to cross a motorway with anything now that I come to think of it

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What did one eye say to the other? Nothing. Because eye's can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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