What makes men cry? The realization that humanity is completely pointless in the infinitely expanding universe and thus any action to try and improve human life is also a complete farce.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Has anyone seen that clown that hides from gay people in Tesco's

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why was the black man tired? It was 3 AM, and he just came back from his demanding job as a surgeon.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A Mexican, a black man and a Pakistani walk into a bar. Everyone immediately runs out seeing the potential danger in the situation that's about to unfold.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. John runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

thumb_up thumb_down +21

nock nock who's there? bob bob who? bob franklin let me in 'cause i'm freezing!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why is my son so unhappy? Because I beat his mother violently in front of him

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Q: What did the clam say to the postman? Moral: "Hey its me the worlds only talking clam! How you doing dude!"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the black man buy a watermelon? To give to his wife to cut up for his family to have at a picnic

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why didn't the kid return home after school? He was having a sleep-over with a bunch of his friends. Who all died from a robbery.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A duck walks into a bar. In the middle of writing this joke I realized that there were already jokes like this so I stopped writing this one.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Roses are red, Violets are violet, hence the name Violets.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what would you do if Michael Jackson was drowning? he can't drown he's already dead

thumb_up thumb_down -42

How did the family of Cubans get to Florida? They flew first class from their home in upstate New York.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Went to the corner shop - bought 4 corners.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

So an alien walks into a bar......... and everyone runs away secreaming because theres an alien in the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why was osama bin laden shot and killed? because he was a very violent man and deserved his punishment

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

thumb_up thumb_down -9

hey jimmy! hey bob -.- jimmy, pls pls explain how to do this.. ): see your mom? yea... do it like we did her (OOOHHHH!)

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the Chinese man say to the Japanese man Nothing as they have never met

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do u know a black woman is pregnant? When she pulls out a tampon it has no cotton on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How did the blonde screw in a lightbulb? She didn't, she fell and broke her neck and went to a hospital. Thus you should not laugh.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What's the difference between a blonde and a carrot? One's a human, the other's a vegetable.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops