What do you call a dragon with no wings? a dragon with no wings :(

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why did the parakeet eat the cracker? because it wanted to.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock Knock Who's there? Pussy... Do you get it? Think about what you just answered.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A deaf man walks into a bar. Someone yells, "FIRE!" and everyone evacuates. The deaf man does not hear him and dies horribly.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

The snake rides the bicycle in the forest, the rabbit sees this, and says "hey snake, you don't have legs" "oh damn" replies the snake and eats the rabbit because of the insolence

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are OK, Violets do the trick, C'mon and let me whip out my Dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How are eagles and jellyfish the same? They both fly but jellyfish don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

knock,knock who's there? the postman didn't answer as he is deaf

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 17

thumb_up thumb_down -15

So you're flying around in your bathtub, how pancakes to shingle a doghouse? Airhockey, because pizza bagels can't cry.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Yo mamma is so nice, when she bakes a batch of cookies, there's enough for everybody.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Roses Are Red Lemons are sour, open up your legs and give me an hour

thumb_up thumb_down +50

troll lololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololol.olo90ololol.o.ool.olololol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.o.o.lol.ol.ol.ol.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

There were three men in a race: Crap, Manners, and Shut Up. During the race, Crap fell and Manners stopped to pick him up, Shut Up kept on speeding. The police stopped him. Here is there converstation: Police 1: Whats your name? Shut Up: Shut Up Police 2: Wheres your manners? Shut Up: Back there picking up crap.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: Why did the paraplegic go to the gym? A: to watch his friend work out

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -5

An enormous black man wearing a durag walks into a bar. Due to the diverse and friendly comminuty he lives in, nobody judges him on his race, ethnicity, or culture. He goes on to pursue his career in business and gets a Masters Degree in Business Administration. He get's a job as an IT Director for a very successful business and he marries a well educated woman. They have 2 kids, but one of them is diagnosed with "Ondine's Curse" and dies in it's sleep. Distressed, and mourning the death of his newborn son, he seeks help from his parents. Regardless of his parents comforting and loving attitude towards him, he goes into the inner city smoking and selling illegal drugs like crack. He even got into cocaine and marjuana. 4 and a half years later, he was about to attempt suicide, when he saw his only living son, whom he loved with all his heart, walk into the room with his teddybear. He just looked at him, and he looked back. Suddenly, the father started crying. Flashbacks started playing though his mind of his happy life he was steadily pursuing. "why me?" He constantly thought to himself. What did he do to deserve this? 7 years in the future. The father was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Right before his death, he asked to talk to his son. "Son, listen to me. Never try to comtemplate the world we live in, it's too spontaneous and insane to understand. This world can either give you bliss or depression. Nothing inbetween. And most people who make there way up to the top eventually will fall. What goes up must come down. Ha... I never thought I'd be talking to me own son giving him a silly lecture in a deathbed. But just look at me..."the father gets very muddled and disoriented* "...Son. They say most of us have a good reason to live. Well don't most of us have a good reason to die too?" Malik Cartwright died on March 22, 1999. His son went on to legally change his middle name to "Leek", after his father's nickname. He went on to get the same Master's Degree that his father received, and had kids of his own. The whereabouts of the mother are unknown.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

An Irishman walks into a club. "Ow, that was almost as painful as that time I walked into a bar."

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Some blind tall guy asked a rich dude about time when the rich dude looked at his klock he remembred many things in his ugly terrible life so he said to the blind guy : its 5PM

thumb_up thumb_down +23

WHat did the Somalian girl get for Christmas? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Two juggalos go to an Insane Clown Posse show.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

My Mom was strutting down the runway. Then she got trampled by a plane.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops