What did Mitch say to joe when he saw his fly was down? Nothing because he's a bagle

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you get a baby in a bowl? You put it in.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A seven year-old boy was jumping on a trampoline. He landed awkwardly and broke his ankle. This then became infected and caused him to be permenantly paralysed.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

a priest and a rabbi are walking down a road together the rabbi says: so your a priest how about that the priest says: fine ive read the bible a few times good book

thumb_up thumb_down -22

WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what do all black jokes start with (look left look right)

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Obama Getting Re-Elected.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

#If you go down in the woods today, your sure of a big surprise #If you go down in the woods today, you better go in disguise. # I don't know why, I started typing this out and realized I couldn't actually come up with a suitable concluding line.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? There are many, no human being is exactly alike.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Hey, wanna here a dirty joke? A pig fell in mud.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Want to hear the story about how I got put in prison? So I have an odd bunch of friends: one of them is Polish and he works at a call centre, the other is a slave trader and his name is Richard. We tend to meet outside our Polish friend's house to speak or to do "business" when need be (I run errands for Richard) and the other day that's where I got asked to kidnap an American. "That's strange" I thought, but nevertheless I went out and took the American from his house and carried him over in a sack over to our meeting place. I handed him over and sneaked off as soon as I could, thinking I was home free. But I wasn't. The police turned up all angry like. There were witnesses. Turns out a bunch of kids saw me giving Dick a Yank next to the telephone Pole.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why did the chicken cross the road? no one knows because it got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I walked into a bar and it hurt because it was metal

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's the difference between a black man and a gorilla? One is a black man and the other is a gorilla.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A fish swims up stream for his natural spawning cycle. The fish was out of shape and died from heart failure.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What's yellow and highly dangerous? Shark-infested banana pudding.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why do penguins wash their clothes in tide? They don't. As artic-dwelling birds, they don't have access TV or magazines and as such, are impervious to influences via commercials and written advertisements. Also, obvious tuxedo jokes aside, they don't really wear clothes.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why did the dog went inside the church? because the door was open.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Knock Knock Who's there? Your landlord. Get the hell out.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Me - Ask me if I am a Frog. You - Are you a Frog? Me - No.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Knock knock. Use the doorbell, dumbass.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you kill a dumb blonde? Personally, I love stabbing them.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

How do you get a baby out of the blender? Pour it

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops