why was the baby crying? cause his abusive father broke his arm.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? You did?! Oh . . .

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a black man yelling into a crowd? a preacher

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just shot up a plaground Now Im heading to an orphanage

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you get if you cross a man and a horse? Severe internal bleeding.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Whats white, black, and red all over? A penguin on fire

thumb_up thumb_down -6

When does George Harrison take a shit? In the morning

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A seven year-old boy was jumping on a trampoline. He landed awkwardly and broke his ankle. This then became infected and caused him to be permenantly paralysed.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

If your uncle jack helped you off your horse, would you help your uncle jack off a horse? Yes

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did George shaw fall off the swin?. Because he got a bowl thrown at his head

thumb_up thumb_down -10

knock, knock . whos there? the police. get the hell outside !

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did one direction do? Nothing, their music is written by someone else they don't use whatever talent they have and they sound I million dying kittens.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

An Irishman walked into a pub.... He never left.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A White, a Mexican, and a Chinese guy all take a boat to go exploring.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you get 50 Babies into a phone booth? A blender How do you get them out? Doritos

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A black guy and a white guy are in a drug store. Who buys the drugs? The customers.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why are elephants gray? So you don't get them confused with blueberries.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

knock knock who's there? ketchup ketchup who? better catchup with me!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the blind man cross the road? To end the suffering of a lifetime illness.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Reminds me of when I was a teen, I was working at an elderly home, and there was this really really old woman, and she was leaning forward towards me on her wheelchair, one of her hands accidentally near my crotch, I mean this granny was really senile and shit. Then she went all like, you really like it when I touch you there don't you? I mean it was not the best nor the fastest one, but all that excitement "OMG WHAT IF I GET CAUGHT BY A COLLEAGUE WHILE A 89 YEAR OLD WAS JACKING ME OFF!" Really made it all special folks... Especially when I got caught, it was like OMG STRESS ORGASM HOLY DONT CUM NOOOAAAARGHHHH!!!!!! WOHOOOOOO! I walked outta there like a champ, I was like 18 and my girlfriend/colleague which caught me was like, 27, and the next week she was 32, and before you know it, she was 46 on facebook... Thats like you know... Too old or something...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops