A: u wanna die? B: does anyone really wanna die, i mean logistically, un-less u are suicidal, why would you wanna die? A: I do wanna die. B: ur a freak and you should consider getting help person A never got help, on his way to getting help at a certified physician he got hit by a bus, his body can be found at the intersection of church ave. and flatbush. And i would say rest in piece but cars drive over him daily, and thats not to peaceful

Why was the baseball player arrested after stealing a base? Because he pulled out a knife and stabbed the shortstop in the chest.

Your mom is not fat!

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are in a terrible ship crash that leaves them stranded on a desert island. All of their survival supplies sank with the boat so they don't last very long.

Yo mama so fat, her wand is a Slim Jim

wanna hear a joke? not really

What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Why is there a man painted green throwing forks at me

What's worse than the holocaust? Probably nothing

Why dont we just make fun of both? *mexican music plays*

So, I was walking down the street. As i walked past a oak door an entrance to a mental institution, I heard a bored voice going, "eleven, eleven, eleven". My curiosity, like a cat, got better of me and I decided to take a peek through the key hole and see the eleven things being counted. As soon as I had my eye on the key hole, I was poked in the eye by a metal rod. Startled, I feel back to the street. And, sure enough, heard the same bored voice, going, "twelve, twelve, twelve".

Q. What is black and nobody cares when they step on it? A. Asphalt

There were 3 men on a rough each granted one wish to make. The first guy sees a bird and runs and jumps off the ledge and wishes to be a bird and he flies away. The second guy sees a butterfly so he too runs and jumps off the ledge and wishes to be a butterfly and flies away. The third guy telling himself those were all stupid wishes, makes up his mind what he is going to wish for so he runs to the ledge and just after he says "I wish to be" he trips on the ledge and says, "shit!" So his wish was granted and shit he became. The End.

This Haiku is strange There is a dinosaur WOW Snuffleupagus

A man walks up to a gay guy and says "you are socially accepted"

Hear the one about the giraffe and the clown? Yes.

What is worse than being paralyzed from the neck down Nothing

a priest and a rabbi are walking down a road together the rabbi says: so your a priest how about that the priest says: fine ive read the bible a few times good book

Whats black and white and red all over? A chopped up dalmation...

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

Whats worse then getting hit by a truck? Getting hit by a turkey!

^that joke's not funny

Q: Knock - Knock A: NO SOLICITORS!

What's worse than a pile of dead babies? The one at the bottom is alive. What's worse than that? He's eating his way out. What's worse than that? He came back for seconds.

Study from real life: My trip to Texas. (From the time when I was interested in mormon-ism.) Texan: And here is my gun collection, great for shootin yer Mexican scum. Me: Uh I am Norwegian but my ancestors where Russian or something so my skin is... Texan: *points gun at me and pushes trigger halfways* Just kidding der son, sure you aint no Mexican though? Okay just checkin ya know... Me *sweating bullets* Texan guys gun go off almost hitting me and breaking a vase.. Conclusion: He blamed me, everyone had lunch outside later, everyone kept looking at the "trigger happy MEXICAN"... Nero: By then I began grasping the fact that I was better suited for the study of the dark arts... And also learned that in Mormonism, Heaven and Hell are planets locked into war, where black people where neutral, and red people are demon supporters, but WE CAN ALL BE SAVED BY BECOMING WHITE! JUST LIKE THE ANGEL MORONI! Conclusion two: Moroni... Lol.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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