What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Whats the difference between Rolf Harris and a pedophile Whoops I didn't quite think this one through

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Wanna hear a joke? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Whats worse than dieing of Alhzymers? Anal Rape

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the fat girl use on Wii Fit? Cheat Codes.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A black man, a small child, and a priest were all standing in line. They were all checking in the hospital after being in a 3 car pileup

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why was the boy sad...because scooby doo shot him with a harpoon

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a retarded black man? His name

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was tired of this joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why did the clown have a heart attack? He had long term heart problems.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: My friends told me not to. Teacher: So if your friends tell you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it? Student: Well, it all depends on if I land on a fat kid. Like Chubb. Chubb: Yeah, I know, my eating habit, i-i-its a big problem. -Payden R.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why does Michael Jackson have difficulty playing chess? Because he's dead, and if there is an afterlife, we don't actually have the ability to know that it is possible to play chess there.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what goes round , and round , and croaks? a blender in a frog.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

thumb_up thumb_down -13

yo mama so fat she died from a heart attack

thumb_up thumb_down -6

whats the strongest muscle the man who can't talk has. definatly not his mouth

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did one sausage become scared of the other sausage? The first Sausage said " Hello " and the second Sausage said " OMG a talking sausage!!!" ...Jk sausages dont talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

An insane individual walks into a bank and asks for $500. The teller refuses since he doesn't have an account, so the individual pulls out a gun and asks the teller again. The teller presses the silent panic button, causing the cops to show up and arrest the gunman, but not before he manages to shoot the teller and the small child standing next two counters over.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Two muffins are in the oven. They don't say anything because muffins can't talk. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What is the best way to kill Kony? Shoot him in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call 10,000 lawers jumping out of a plane? A good start.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's worse than having a worm in your apple? 2012.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A grasshopper walks into a bar... Bartender: "hey we have a drink named after you!" Grasshopper: "What, Kevin?"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops