Once upon a time there were seven dwarfs. They were named Steven, Jason, John, Peter and Alfred.

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The last joke I tried to submit used "trolololol" as the enter code thing and I spelled it without the extra "lol" The lolz have got me again *this time it asked me for "basket case"

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What did the moose say to the photographer? Moose say cheese.

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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Sometimes an alligator will bring you apples. Sometimes it won't.

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Yo Mama's so fat when she fell out of the tree she hit the ground very, very hard.

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Your mom is so fat that she enjoys junk food regularly.

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Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What did Stephen Hawkins say to President Obama? He didn't his computer did.

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What is better then fisting? Fisting with a metal studded glove

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Why couldn't the old lady take her Afghan Hound to the vet after the dog had been brutally harassed? She was dead.

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Why did the bus drop a boy holding ice cream? Its driver was not paying full attention on the road and was sentenced 15 years for manslaughter.

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What did the boy ask the ice cream man? Can I have some ice cream?

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Why was the man dress in a suit ? He had a job

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99% of teenagers would cry if they saw justin bieber on the top of a skyscraper, about to jump. However, there is 1% who would be sitting in a lawn chair at the bottom screaming, DO A BACKFLIP!!!

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how many black people can you fit in a car? However many sets there are.

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why did the chicken cross the road to get to the other side

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what do you call a black man with a knife in his hand? a surgeon.

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What was the asian person's name? I don't know, I never met him.

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what's the difference between a crocodile?

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Whats the quickest way to a woman's heart? A bilateral incision on the upper left region of the sternum.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Because the farmer is obviously to stupid to build a proper chicken coop, and thus his chicken is crossing the road and will most likely be hit by a car

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Whats brown and smells bad poo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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