Ahem. Testicles. That is all.

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What did John say to Paul before they entered the car? "Paul, get in the car."

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What did one theoretical physicist say to another theoretical physicist? Hey there Bill, how's Nancy and the kids doing?

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What kind of horse can do a backflip? No kind of horse.

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I need somebody to lean on... ...Because one of my legs was amputated after I was blown up on a mine field in afganistan.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had a gun to its head

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven. Ha ha ha ha

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WHY DID THE KID RID HIS BRICK HE WAS BLIND

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what's black, white and doesn't float? the titanic

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Justin Beiber

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I'm so hungry, I could eat an adequately sized meal

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Roses are red Violets are Blue Little Timmy died yesterday

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What do you call a black person driving a plane? A pilot, because you dont want to call him anything racist i mean he is driving you up 25,000 ft in the air and the last thing you want is for him to get mad and decide to do something rational, God, you racists.

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Roses are Razzmatazz Violets are Arsenic These colors are weird Cancer.

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Why is bobsledding the coolest sport? Because this is my subjective opinion.

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What did the chicken say to the dog? Well, since chickens can't talk, they both stood there in an awkward silence.

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Two girls were taken away mysteriously in the night. The next day, no one cared because they were orphans.

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What did the Jew do before the movie? He turned off his cell phone.

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Knock Knock The homeowner's acquaintance had called him just minutes prior because he had forgotten something at his house. With this having occurred, the homeowner had a strong sense of who was at the door. Being a cautious person however, he checked his prediction by examining the man through the door's peephole. Having asserted that it was what he had in mind, the homeowner opened the door and handed him some papers that were of importance to the acquaintance.

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4 black men wearing ski masks and stripped jumpers kicked my door open and ran into my house knocking over and breaking things. They then realised this was not their friends house, apologised, paid for the damaged and left for the fancy dress party.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

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Boy: Hey girl if I had hand-cuffs, I’d lock myself to you right now! Girl: I would find that extremely creepy.

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Waht do chinease people and gambling machines have in common? They both say chink chink chink chink chink chinck

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Anti jokes gives me cold sores

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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