What did the man in need of a prosthetic arm get from the hospital? A diagnosis for cancer.

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How many cats get hit by a car per day How ever many cats you can find

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What did the Unicorn do with the Portal gun? Nothing. Neither of them are real.

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"Knock Knock" "Whose there?" "It's who's." The grammar nazi has struck again.

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What did the father say to his son? I'm leaving and I'm not actually your father.

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What ended in the year 1970? 1969

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What is black, can fly and sing? R. Kelly.. "I believe I can fly"

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What did the man say to his friend? Hello.

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a pope and a catholic priest walk into a bar... the priest orders... then the pope says to the bartender "I'll have what hes having." so the bartender takes out a small child and says ...."are you sure?"

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A man walked into a bar.He woke up hours later and went home. By TheRealPaddock

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Q: Why can't Eric drive a car? A: Because Eric is a rock

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Samraj.

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Why do black people like watermelon? Because it good you racist bastard!

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An airplane has 100 bricks on-board. If you drop one brick, how many bricks would be left? 99 -------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you put a giraffe inside a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, put the giraffe inside, close the refrigerator. -------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you put an elephant inside a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put the elephant inside, close the refrigerator. -------------------------------------------------------------------- The Lion King gathered all the animals from the land to a meeting. Everyone came, except one. Who was the animal? The elephant. He's still inside the refrigerator. ------------------------------------------------------------------- You want to cross a river, but you know that there are crocodiles there. There is no bridge, vines to swing from, etc. How do you cross the river? Swim across the river. The crocodiles are at the meeting with The Lion King. ------------------------------------------------------------------- So you swimmed over the river, but how did you still die? You were hit by the brick falling from the airplane.

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Your mama sucks so much dick, it's not funny.

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One day a young gentleman was walking down the street. He sees a wounded dog laying there on the sidewalk. He goes to tend to the wounded animal. It bites his hand. He rushes to the hospital and tests positive for rabies. The man has to be vaccinated and the dog terminated.

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Why couldn't the girl brush her hair? Because she had leukemia

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Q. why did the plane crash? A. because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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What would you do when pigs fly? Pigs cannot fly, therefore this question is impractical.

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Roses are red Violets are red My lawn is red My fences are red It appears my garden is on fire.

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What's worser than dieing? Living-being tortured while at it too

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What green and eats rocks? Grass, i lied about the rocks

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Q. what is black ans white and red all over A. a shot to death zebra

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What did the man with a colostomy bag say after his home was destroyed in a fire? At least all my shit’s in one place.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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