What worse than stubbing your toe? Getting raped by a panda.

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Chrismas? A: Cancer

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Q) What do you call a black man swinging from a tree? A) A very silly man as it is potentially dangerous

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how did hitler lure the jews onto trains to concentration camps? he told them he hid a penny in one of the cars

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a water because he's the designated driver

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Her lips are not proportionally fit to her face.

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What happen to the girl that did the splits. Her legs broke.

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Antijokes...

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Where do you go when you find a fork in the road? To the nearest restaurant.

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whats worse than finding a joke in a cracker? finding an anti joke in a cracker.

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What is worse than menopause? Falling down the stairs breaking your next....

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A guy was beet by his wife.

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OK, so there's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruisin' about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her on his ass, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back. Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his ass, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road. The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she was, she agrees to it and steps inside it. The trucker goes back to his truck and pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks over to the blonde. When he gets there, to his astonishment, she is rolling around on the street laughing hysterically. He asks her, "Why are you laughing? I just beat the crap out of your car!!" She is laughing too hard to respond, but between giggles he can make out, "While you weren't looking I stepped out of the circle."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because death was certain if it didn't.

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Why are their so many lesbians? cause they LOVE the pussy.. (Tastes soo wet and tight)

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Q: What do you do when you find a black man bleeding from a bullet wound on your front porch? A: Call an ambulance! He may only have minutes to live before he bleeds to death! Hurry!

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What does the scarecrow from the wizard of oz and a zombie have in common? They both want brains.

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Johny got a iphone ipad and a macbook. He bragged to his friend. His friend said, i got an apple.

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#1 rule in arguments: if losing, start correcting their grammar

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Why are some people so emotional? Because some their family were hit by a train and then died the next day of lung cancer.

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Q: Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? A: Because he had bladder control problems and feared he may ruin the first pair.

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the real mccoy

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69, hahaha

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Yeah, I never intended to keep that a secret. What is autocast?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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