Why did Susy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? NOT SUSY!

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why did the plane crash because the pilot was a tomato

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

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Why did everyone at school think that Susan was so hot? They set her on fire.

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Geuss what? Bob is wide awake and he likes strawberries but he didn't have any strawberries so he ate a hamburger but fred wanted a hamburger but bob ate it so he just ate bob but bob was wide awake so he saw fred eating him so he called the pigs to come and eat fred because pigs eat anything but the pigs had already eaten their daily freds so they ate bob because they hadn't already eaten their daily bob but fred had already eaten bob so they got angry at fred so they just ate him anyway but then they got fat so a wolf ate them but then some hunters killed the wolf and ate it so they are actually eating a hamburger because the wolf ate the pigs and the pigs ate fred and fred ate bob and bobb ate a hambuger but he actually likes strawberries.

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Customer: Waiter, waiter, there is a fly in my soup! Waiter: Sorry madam.

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What did the deer say to the hunter? If you shoot me i'll die.

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Stop driving smart cars you fags

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What do you call a young man holding a banana? Well, this joke had quite a good ending, but as this site only has anti jokes I am going to change the ending. Because he wanted to eat it.

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My friend died by getting shot in the head. But he respawned back at his checkpoint.

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What do you call a Jewish wanna be gangster? Drake

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Why did Sally Fall Off The Swing? She had no arms Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them.

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Why does Santa Clause eat cookies? Because cookies not part of a balanced diet.

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Why wasn't the 7 year old boy happy? I shot him

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Why did the little girl fall of the swing? -because she had no arms Why didn't she get back up? -because she had no legs Why diddn't anyone help her? -because she was black.

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What happened to the orphan? Who cares?

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Q:Why did the kid drop his ice cream A:He was hit by a car

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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What did the pedefile say to the child? Get in the van

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The Mets win the World Series

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Q: what did the common cold say to the cough? A: you are SO annoying!

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Did you hear about the Pole who studied for 5 days?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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