Q:What's black, wrinkled and smells like raisins? A: A raisin.

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what did blonde say to the square? ur a square which is comprised of four equal sides and always have four lines of symmetry.

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How are you? Yes

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas. A pool.

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What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot, racist.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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what do you call a pie in a roll a roll and pie

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What's worse than a bruise in your knee? A bruise in your other knee. And what is worse than that? The Holocaust. And what is worse than that? A second Holocaust, much bigger, with much more casualties.

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Why did the police officer decide to eat a donut? Because he was slightly hungry, but a meal seemed too much for him.

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What do you call an arab with a shemagh on his head and a gun A man who is concerned for his wellbeing and family

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What is the pirate's favorite letter? Z.

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Forgiveness is what weaklings beg for, while redemption is what the strong succeed at.

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a dog walks into a drug store and orders a bone. what does the cashier do? she wakes up.

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Why do blondes where pigtails? Because they look nice.

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why did the man move away from me because he thought that i had crabs as pets

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Jesus. Jesus who? You're going to hell.

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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A horse walks into a bar and Shits John Taffer is Pissed

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What do you call an owl that is a magician too? Owls cannot be magician you retard.

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What's green and falls fom a tree? A dump truck. I lied about it being green.

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alright whoever posted it, like this, then comment your first name

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Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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