What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A blonde sits down in first class on a flight to Miami. That's because she had a ticket for the seat.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

My sister has to take a dump

thumb_up thumb_down +51

What did the cow say to the bull. they had kids because they shared an interest in being silent.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the guy fly? Because he steped on a landmine

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A black man is sitting in front of the bus Then he respectfully gives up his seat to an elder woman

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far away from its body.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A elementary school child was waiting at the bus stop for the bus to come. All of the sudden, the bus comes around the corner, pulls up, stops and he gets in.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

So last night I was f**king my girlfriend and I flip her over and f**k her up the ass. Later we're sitting having a cigarette when she says, "you know it was pretty presumptuous of you to think you can just flip me over and f**k me up the ass." And I said, "presumptuous!? That's a pretty big word for a 5th grader."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Whose. There? Not Susie.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the little girl drop her teddy bear? Because she was being sexually molested. Why did the little Jewish girl drop her teddy bear? Because gas came out of the shower-head.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the asian do with his homework? finish it. as is expected from children his age.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what do women and men have in common? nothing, women are inferior

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why did the blonde fall off the cliff? She was blind and deaf so she never knew where to go, and her parents kicked her out for her problems. It is a sad situation that noone wants to go through

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Two black guys walk into a country club and ask to play a round of golf. They are turned away because the aren't members of the club.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? None, let the bitch cook in the dark.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why couldn't the little boy skate? He had cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

Q: How do you make three atheists cry? A: Kill their families.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

"Guess what I was doing in my room last night with the door closed with my hand?" "Please don't say what I think you're going to say" "What? I was just cleaning my room."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the boy fall off the swing? He didnt.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops