Q: Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? A: Neither did she...

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sometimes i take my duck a shower, i always use cold water because if i use hot water it will think im cooking it.

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What's the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? I have to take off my boots to jump on the trampoline.

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I got shot, you laughed

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Neil Lewis

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What do you call black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist bastard

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knock knock whos there banana banana who knock knock whos there orange orange who orange you glad I didn't say banana

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Where did Jonathan go when the bombs hit? Everywhere.

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do you know what was a good idea? not last night

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A woman walks into the living room while her husband is watching tv. The husband tells her "Make me a Sandwich", so she goes to the kitchen and makes him a sandwich like shes told to.

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I Have a Black Friend

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You know you are from New York when you live in Manhattan.

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what did God say on the 7th day? -zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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This is sparta No this is patrick

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In Soviet Russia, test takes you... to a privileged University with an appropriate transcript.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The bold and unpredictable female bird escaped under the horror of the fearful fence of which enclosed the innocent chickens. As she wandered towards the nearby city of magic and dreams she approached by a large, empty road. A mysterious, shining object in the distant caught her eye. As she slowly to a shivering step towards the intereging sparkle, she was ran over by a car. EPIC FAIL LOL!!!!

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How do you address a gay, jewish, african male? You can't, as addressing a person would imply mailing them. And that would violate their human rights. As well, the cost of shipping a package of that size would be rather prohibitive

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"Do you like pie?" "No." "Do you like blueberries?" "No." "I have something you won't like." "Is it a blueberry pie?" "No, I shagged your wife last night".

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Why did the little boy fall over. Because someone shot him in the face.

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Roses are red, violets are blue; So go in bed, where I'll join you...

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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Why did they chicken cross the road? It didn't. A van ran it over when it was halfway across.

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What's green has eight legs, and would kill you of it fell on you from the top of a tree? A Billiard table

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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