What did the 5 cent store clerk say to the customer? That will be 5 cents.

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Why would a woman be out of the kitchen? Because she is busy working, being outside, resting, or any other activity that does not include food.

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What is white and tastes like cotton candy? Jizzz

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What do you get when you cross a stream with a prostitute? A wet hooker.

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So a guy walked into the doctors and said, "It hurts when I poke my leg like this." The doctor said, "Well don't poke your leg like that."

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Wanna here a funny joke? Will is straight HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA hes gay

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Why do people eat babies? Because they're delicious.

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Boy: BRB Girl: OK. *Two hours later* Boy: Back. Girl: What took you so long? Boy: Someone asked why I loved you. Girl: Aw, that's so s- Boy: I know! I had no idea who he was! I had to call the cops.

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When Chuck Norris moved into a new house he decide to renovate because he didn't like the staircase.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted to get away from KFC, which was directly behind him.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A pogo stick. Just kidding. Cancer.

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Remember IRON MAN 3! Subscribe to www.prettypleasehelpmeforgethatpieceofshitmovie.com

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Knock knock. Who's there? Silence. Silence who? No, I meant there was silence, I didn't really say anything. Oh, OK. But seriously, who's there?

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So does Blake

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how do you make a baby cry kick it off a cliff

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Womens rights. Are extremely valuable because women are equal.

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I like to eat people

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Why wasn't the black man served at the bar? Because they didn't serve his kind there... Did I say black guy? I meant to say a horse, wait, did I say bar? I meant the barn, yes, a horse walks into a barn but they couldn't serve him because he wasn't tamed

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Why did the girl go to the hospital? Her brother dared her to jump off the second story roof of their house...

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how many times did lucy's mom drop her baby on its head? none, her mom died giving birth.....

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Two fish were lying on a bank. One said "I can't breath." The other one was dead.

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what goes up and down , and left and right all day without breaking a sweat? A compass, get your mind out of the gudder.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't; by the time Keller owned her first dog, she was an adult with exceptional communicative abilities for one with her condition. She frequently wrote about her beloved dogs and is even credited with introducing the Akita breed to the United States. If her dog had run away, it would be unlikely that she would have been allowed further dogs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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