How may Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side!

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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What is black and white and red all over? Micheal Jackson being torchured

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A man was building a new kitchen for his wife. Just as he was installing the sink, his wife comes running into the kitchen and starts cursing. "What's the matter?" he asks. "Don't you like the new sink?" His wife replies, "I love it. But come quick, there's a spider in the living room!" The man walks over with a paper towel, grabs the spider, and throws it into the garbage. The wife looks at the husband, smiling, and says, "Thanks."

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A cathlic priest walks into a bar, but realizes there are no young boys hr could pickup.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick.

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This dog can only sniff marijuana.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ... it wanted to cross the road.

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Somebody else besides you: what time is it? You: what time is what? SOmebody else: ? What?

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Why did sally fall off her swingset? Because she was hit with a refrigerator.

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Kids are cheering about the confetti at a birthday party, the mom says the twin towers just collapsed.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Tim. Tim who? Tim Smith.

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Roses are red, violets are blue Charcoal is black, and so is my neighbor

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a sailor went to his G.P to see if he had HIV turned out he had hepititis C

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did Santa die? Because he got diabetes from so many cookies

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Abbie has head so far up her arse, it just LOOKS like it's coming out her neck.

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Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? Who me? Couldn't be.

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Penguin. Penguin who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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Why don't midgets live in penthouses? They can't reach the button in the elevator.

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What's small, yellow and great with numbers? A yellow calculator

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A man walks into a bar and is promptly sent out because he is under the age of 21.

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How many Jews can fit in a VW Beetle? 2 in the front, 3 in the back, and maybe one in the trunk, but that wouldn't be very comfortable.

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A black person and a hispanic person are in a car, who is driving? The black person, after all it's his car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops