whats worse than having the flu? having cancer

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knock knock who's there? nobody. then why are you knocking?

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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A man walks into town and takes a shit!

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My granddad fell down the stairs the other day... Yeh, we didn't find it very funny either.

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Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

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Why did Rebecca Black die? She killed herself due to the cruelty of many people

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A man walks into a bar. He drinks heavily and dies of alcohol poisoning.

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A:Who am i "RRRRRR' B:A pirate A:No im fetty wap

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Why was the boy sad he ate a loaf of bread? Because ducks ate him alive after that.

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Roses are red Violets are blue classic

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Roses are stools, Violets are bums, sugar is knit, thank you, LSD.

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A man walks into a bar. He's black. Its 1962. He is immediately arrested.

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stfu Aodhan u and kevin are doin all the instigsating

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A man walks into a bar, and says to the bartender, "Do you know where the library is located?" The bartender describes to him that the closest library is three blocks down, next to the red brick building with a green roof.

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3 men are walking down a dirt path. One is a retired member of the US Air Force. The other of the Marines. The last one of the Navy. They are arguing about why their respective section of the military is the best. They lose track of where they're going and fall off of a cliff onto the spinning propeller of a US Coast Guard helicopter.

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What did one salt shaker say to the other salt shaker? Nothing, Salt shakers are merely used to add flavor to foods.

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How do all Asians look? With their eyes.

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Why was the boy sad? Because his dog was brutally murdered and the man responsible painted his bedroom walls in the dogs blood.

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Whats the difference between a woman and a fridge? A fridge doesn't fart when you take your meat out!

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What's worse than finding a holocaust in your apple? A worm.

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whats long, hairy, and has one eye? my cat fluffy, he has cancer.

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What sound does a childs head make in a vice? I don't know, I was too busy wanking.

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Roses are red, violets are red, everything's red... Retinal haemorrhage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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