A Russian man walks out of a bar looking very sober because he walked out of the bar sober.

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whats long and stretchy? elastic

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what goes in hard, comes out soft, and you blow on it? bubble gum!

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Why didn't bob like night clubs? He was epileptic

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What is a 3 legged dog? It's still a dog! Sheesh

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have condoms, But we didn't use them with you. You were DP'd, Now you have STD.

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go go gadget

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Hey! That's mine! Give it back!

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What do u call Lindsay Lohan fall from grace? Probably likely tragic and is also a very useful metaphor for The USA's projected path for global and economic superiority.

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Why didn't the Alzheimers patient put on her shoes? She didn't leave the elderly home that day, thus taking away the need to put on shoes.

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Yo momma is so fat, her total body volume is slightly larger than a normally proportioned person of smaller mass!

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Want to hear a joke? ...you're straight.

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Why are you so gay? Because I am a homosexual.

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Why was Little Billy sad? Because he got shot.

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Why is that man such a perv? I don't know. Ever since I let him see my boobs, he has had this undying obsession with sex. So, I guess that, as society would classify him, he is a sex addict. He will do anything for it, even if he needs a man to get it. I feel terrible about starting his obsession, and plan to take him to therapy next week for the sake of his health.

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Dubstep = a computer with a noisy virus.

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there is nothing better than waking up to realise that your being hugged by your partner unless that partner is not home

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What has two legs and oinks? Half a pig.

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What is more tragic than a nice day wasted? Obesity.

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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why can't dead peaple have sex? because they're dead.

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What did the mother give her family on christmas? Some gelt, dreidels, and Challah because it also happened to be Chanukah on Christmas that year

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are you from hawaii? because your the only ten I see

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was late for its laser bypass surgery.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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