Q: John eats 50 cany bars, eats 45, how many does he have now? A: Diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down -8

ill take a bullet for you... on call of duty... nahhh that ruins my kd

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the seat next to you? A: Whatever his name happens to be.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's the worst part of being a black Jew? That is a very uncommon combination of race and religion, therefore causing obvious confusion.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you get Sally of the swing? Throw a clown at her.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why did the guy get pulled over he had a broken tail light

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How can you tell if a woman is dead? She has no pulse.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

:(Sneeze) :Bless You :Thank You! :Mention it :Thank You!

thumb_up thumb_down -96

How do you get a blond to fall over? Shoot her with a shotgun.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the new green? Green

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why Sam Vitale gay? Because he loves men!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock Knock. Did someone outside the front door just say "Knock Knock"?

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A fat black guy walks into a pet store and asks if he can have a chicken. The cashier says "what do you want a chicken for?" He says " I need to lose weight so I'm hoping to eat its all natural eggs" So the cashier gives him the chicken and the fat black guy lost 50 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the kid cross the road? To show his friends that he had guts. And man, did he have guts.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

YOUR MOMMA IS SO FAT WHEN SHE JUMPED FOR JOY........she didn't get stuck because there's nothing to get stuck in.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

What did the man give his wife for her anniversary? Nothing. The man is a raging alcoholic and forget her anniversary due to his high alcoholic intake during the past few weeks. Even if he did remember he most likely didn't care after seeing his wife cheat on him with another woman putting his marriage into shambles.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man walks into a bar and is promptly escorted out because it is a bar for cats only.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the mother get upset with her son? Because he sexually experimented with his cousin.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

You know what they say about men with large feet? Large shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the KFC man was chasing him.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's the difference between an ant and a dinosaur? They are both birds, apart from the ant and the dinosaur

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a room with an oven and ten Jews in it? A kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

how do you kill 1000 Ethiopians? throw a mars bar off a cliff!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops