What kind of Mexican makes no money? A Mexican without a job.

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Why did the pigeon rape itself? It had mental issues.

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? I'd go all the way to the store and buy one.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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how many prostitutes does it take to fix a lightbulb? it depends how much you pay them

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Your mom is so fat that she has trouble walking up the stairs because she gets easily winded.

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What's worse than a broken leg? Two broken legs

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Why did the egg crossed the road? If X = chicken and C = the speed of light, then 2 to the power of the road which is 12 feet across times X/C = egg

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why did reed eat a fish? He had cancer of the testicles

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where was Billy during the bomb? Every where

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Baking a cake can be very hard and stressful, just like beating a slut with an axe.

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You just threw a fireman and a baby out of a skyscraper... who arrived earth first? Adam and Eve. Moral: Because theology is bullshit.

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What's worse than having but sex and finding out you have aids? Knowing that the person you had sex with was dead

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Whats funny about a car crash? If a bowl of soup is talking.

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What's worse than a giant paint bubble? TWO GIANT PAINT BUBBLES!

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Opinions are like assholes. I'm not sure how they are alike, but that seems to be the general consensus.

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What did lil' Suzy do when she got home from school? She was violently mutilated by a bear then continually but raped by a man she met on the Internet. Needless to say, she had a great time. -Harrison

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why did the teenaged girl cry? she was about to have an abortion

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Lady Gaga didn't have anything to wear to the playboy party.

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in china a dog was being cooked on the grill he was seasoned ans eaten by a black man

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What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

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They see me rolling' Up my sleeves for some volunteer work at the local shelter

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What do you do if you walk outside and see your t.v. floating in the lawn in the middle of the night? Go back inside.

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YOU WONT GIVE THIS A THUMBS UP!!!! YOU WONT DO ITTTT

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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