Why was the boy embarrassed when he opened his parents' bedroom door? Because he had been trying the door for several minutes until he realized he was pushing instead of pulling.

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How many mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Trick question they cant afford one.

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What do you call a black man with scissors.? A Barber.

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Roses are red, viotels are blue. God made me pretty, what happened to you?

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Why cant Michael Jackson take flying lessons? Because he overdosed on pain killers, and is now dead.

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What do you call said black man flying an airplane? A pilot.

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Ask me if I'm a tree..... "are you a tree?" No.

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Jamie Oliver eats a chip

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He didn't. He threw at the girl, and that's why she fell off the swing.

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Never-mind that, you've got AIDS.

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If Jewish men light a menorah during Hanukkah, what do Jewish women light? Jewish women light a menorah as well; Judaism is a relatively fair religion to both sexes.

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Q: How do you keep a blond occupied for an hour? A: You write "flip over" on both sides of a blank piece of paper.

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While out looking for sex last week I met a hooker who looked like a rhino. I said to her, "Do you charge?" She said, "Sir, I am arresting you under the Street Offences Act 1959. You do not have to say anything. But it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something which you later rely on in court."

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Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

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roses are brown violets are brown, who took a shit in my garden

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A: Why do you look like a dog? B: Idk.

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Scenario: Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub The first one says, "Hey, can you pass the radio please" And the second one replies, "Sorry, my cousins are made of soap."

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Two elephants were out flying. Then one elephant said to the other: My grandmother has a pink toothbrush!

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roses are red violets are blue i had sex with your dog

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why does stuart own alot of hollister because he is autistic

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How do you make a baby fit in a bottle? Blender.

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want to go home? yea

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Why did the elephants get in a taxi? They were going to the airport.

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whats hard, its not what you think a penis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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