Why didn't the women make her husband a sandwitch? Because she was struck by a car as a young child and was told she could never walk again. Her family couldn't afford a wheelchair so therefore she is bedridden all day.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why cant stevie wonder read? because hes black

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What does tupperware and a walrus have in common? they both like a tight seal

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the Mexican guy get for christmas? Deported

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you keep children off your front lawn? Molest them.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb none, because chickens do not have opposable thumbs,therefore prevents them from preforming such a remedial task.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's the difference between a cow and a Spanish person? To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why is my lawn red? Because i forgot to tell my neighbor's children to move

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a dinosaur with no teeth? He's British

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Sorry not thinking here, of course I will arrive sooner, give me 20 minutes or so (got to scout the area, you never know) As for coding, there is no hidden meaning so yeah... That is probably some "Neronist" coding format I never knew of I am using so well. Cant drive like this, so I will use a cab and wait for you at the back seat or something, I will let the Taxi cab honk the numbers of code here so you can come out knowing its safe. I sincerely thought you where at the home, according to our coordinates you are... Dont tell me that bastard built some basement over there, wow! I really miss him now, if nothing else because I would have liked a wine cellar made in less than... Sorry, ill be there asap, 20 minutes or less, nah, believe me, "fancy" is the least of things I want, and I wont be changing my mind anytime soon. See ya. I am sincerely surprised you even remember me, then again I look a lot like your crush. Abel (in case you where wondering, this is not my name either, but you get the picture by now)

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Yo mama is so poor she used the welfare system and is a family of 4 and has a successful business now

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Why did the woman drown in the bathtub? Her husband was holding her under.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q. What did the blak guy say to the other black guy? A. Hey.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Person 1: Can I ask you a question? Person 2: You just did.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Keep talking shit bitch, and I'll come for you!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what is the difference between a white woman and a black woman.. i raped the black one

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What does a vegetarian eat? colored penis

thumb_up thumb_down -14

a couple argue and spend the night 96ing each other

thumb_up thumb_down -38

I scream, you scream, we all scream for shit

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock, knock Who's there? I'm there.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a naked couple? Horny.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did little Annie fall off the swing? Cause her penis was too heavy.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops