knock, knock! who`s there? it`s me ! who me? yes!

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SC Johnson a Family Company

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Why didn't John get a present for Christmas? Because John died eight months ago.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

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Roses are red violets are blue if you were number one I"ll pick number two, if you were number two then I'll pick POO!

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Whats the difference between a black guy and a bucket of shit? A black man is a life form, more specifically a homosapian, while the bucket, as well as the shit, is an inanimate object.

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a gay man walks into a bar the bartender says "what'll it be today" he asks for a beer the bartender comes back with a beer because thats what he asked for.

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Roses are red violets are blue. A face like yours belongs in the zoo! But don't you worry I'll be there too! But not in the Ill be laughing at you

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Why doesn't the fat kid have any friends? Because he is fat.

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Father Murphy met Samuel Myer on the street. Sam it's been a month o' Sundays since I've seen you. You look propserous. How's the moile business? A snip better, Father, since we talked last. And thank you. For what, Sam? Well the last time we met you asked what I did with the foreskins. Well, here is the answer, my new business. What's this, a wallet. But so smooth, Sam. Yeah, Father, but when you rub it. Rub it, Sam? Yeah when you rub it it falls apart. And you have to buy a new one! Mazel Tov!

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Q. what is the difference between a black man and a park bench A. a parkbench can support a family A black man cannot

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There was a buffalo on a farm. The buffalo was slaughtered and then put and a package and sent to people who like the taste of slaughtered, chemical filled buffalo. In other words, people who like buffalo wings.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Japan.

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawer? we are both lawyers

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LIE

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A new pair of shoes

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, racist.

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What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme But this one doesnt

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I cant believe they been together after all that shit. (person ask what) and you say your buttchheeeeks:]

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What's better than winning the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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What has sand and an ocean? A picture of a beach.

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What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

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Why did Patrick cross the road Because he saw a rock

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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