What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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Why did the man pick the flower? Because he didn't like flowers.

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Mary had a little lamb, But it couldn't stop her from being raped.

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Q: What's bad about 4 asians getting shot? A: There could've been five

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And I hate Jewish people

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A man was driving in his BMW one day when a mini passed him out on the fast lane. The BMW driver thought 'i can't have that!' so he sped up and overtook the mini. Unfortunately he wasn't paying attention and he drove into the back of a school bus. Ironically the bus contained the mini driver's 3 daughters, he was driving so fast because they had forgotten to bring their lunch and he was trying to catch up with the bus so he could give them their sandwiches. There were no survivors of the crash, except for the mini driver.

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What's worse than a bee sting? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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why are fire engines red? well books are red magazines are red 2 two plus two is four four times three is 12 there are 12 inches in a ruler queen elizabeth was a ruler, queen elizabeth was also a ship, ships sail in the sea fish swim in the sea, fish have fins, fins fought the russians, russians are always red, fire engines are always russian. and THAT is why fire engines are red....

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Remember that comic blooper? Captain America fighting some dude: Okay buster only one of us is getting out of here alive! Next panel: Captain is kicking his foe and yelling AND IT WONT BE MEEEEEEEE! ...

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How do you make a man cry? you torture him

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What do you call a pakie flying a plane The pilot... or a terrorist it up to you

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I'm not saying your mom's ugly, but I like pancakes.

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i saw a garbage truck it had garbage in it

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Why do women where make-up and perfume? because they are ugly and they smell bad.

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How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? The same amount as white people, stop being racist.

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Why did little Timmy start crying? He was shot.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to fix a lightbulb? Lets go ride bikes.

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what did the rabbi say to the priest? jesus christ, your breath stinks.

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What is the difference between a group of magicians and a cheerleading squad? One has a cunning array of stunts.

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How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Yarn

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Superman and Batman get in a fight, who wins? No one the world has just lost a superhero.

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What black and blue and red all over? My mom after my dad comes back from the bar.

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A penguin bikes to a bakery, the baker asks him "what kind of bread do you want?" Penguin replies "it doesn't matter, im biking"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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