why did the white man read the New York Times? because HuffPo is horrible. I mean, it's so so so shitty. it's like a wannabe buzzfeed, which ought to say it all.

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? An ambulance.

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Why was the man's foot hot? Because it was stuck in a toaster.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Shoes, socks, and mittens.

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If you're doing a maths test, what type of pickles are best when licking a baseball bat? Sasquatch

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What s faster than a black guy with a TV? His brother with a VCR.

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what will hit the ground first an apple or Obama The apple, obama was stopped by a rope

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I was chatting to a woman in a bar, when the subject of kids came up. I said, "My son has had to wear nappies for his entire life." "That's awful," she said, "what's wrong with him?" I replied, "Nothing. He's two and a half."

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What's the worst place to land when parachuting off an airplane? A. In the middle of an ocean B. In a war zone C. Inside an active volcano D. In a justin beiber concert

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What do you call a blond reading a book? A blond reading a book.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Billy comes home from playing with his friend as he walks to his front yard he comes across his mother...she is dead on the floor his friend then says "im SO sorry your mom is dead but at least you still have your dad" Billy than replies "my mom is my dad" billy then is put into a foster home and spends years trying to recover from the fact that he is the freak offspring of a hermaphrodite

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What about all the bullshit comments? The spamming?

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Q: How many Jewish people can fit in a four door sedan? A: 4, or possibly 5, depending on the sedan's optional seating, and depending on whether the gentleman are comfortable enough with each other to scoot closer to allow a 5th friend to join in.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Does this rag smell Like chloroform to you?

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Why did the man name his son David? He didn't. It was his wife's choice.

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What's worse than some one spitting in your food Hitler revealing he's actually a Jew

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Who doesn't love finding money in your pocket when you go to put your pants on? a rape victim

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Your mother is so fat she has made a concerted effort to loose weight and lead a healthier lifestyle

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A black gay transvestite prostitute was walking alone through a dark alley one night. Business has been slow tonight, and she is looking for anyone she can find. Suddenly a man jumps out from the shadows, and brutally kills her. What do you call her? Marsha, as such was her name.

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if your having trouble coming through the back door, try a Butterfinger

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Why did it look like the girl peed herself? Because she peed herself

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What's the worst part about having sex with a two year old? -Hearing the hip bone snap. What's the best part about having sex with a two year old? -Hearing the hip bone snap.

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what's worse than getting hit by a car? getting hit by a truck

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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