What's blue, wriggles around, and sits in a corner? A dying baby in a plastic bag. What's green, doesn't wriggle around, and sits in a corner? A Christmas tree. The current homeowners were never made aware of the atrocity committed by the previous occupants.

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What computer sings the best? A Dell? No a Mac, because they are the superior computer.

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What's brown and sticky? Human excrement.

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Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? A live one at the bottom.

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Q: Whats big, strong, black, and sexy? A: Your imaginary dick

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Why did the ginger go to hell? Because after all the bullying she endured for her hair color, she felt her only option was to commit suicide.

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Whats the difference between a Duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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Do you like cats? You gotta be kitten me.

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Q: Why did the singer stop singing? A: Someone threw a car at her face.

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yo mamas so fat she weighs a lot.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she no arms

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Why was the boy sad? His cookies are gone.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not sally.

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Why cant Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukaemia.

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What did the Liver say to the Heart? Nothing, Organs can't talk

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Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings? A: Those that wear them think that said earrings positively accentuate their physical appearance.

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Why can't stars marry? Because they are masses of incandescent gas and thus have no feelings.

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So a guy and his monkey walk into a bar I don't remember the rest of the joke but you mom is a whore

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What did the Pope say to the homosexual couple? Welcome to the community.

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Tyler: Why'd the monkey fall out of a tree? Donnie: who's there Tyler: dude this isn't a knock knock joke...

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, Oh wait... I'm blind.

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a young cow was sitting on a bench until her husband shot her after that he said to the farmer 'i will get the milk than you cut the udders and then maranade them

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How do you turn a broken skateboard into a gleaming Rolls Royce? With magic.

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Why did Tina's parents stop calling her? Because they died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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