Q:Which do you take out more...trash or recycle? A: Greenery

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You's so ugly you should consider facial reconstruction surgery if it's covered by your insurance.

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Yo momma eats healthy, exercises regularly and is likely in decent physical condition.

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Knock knock "Who's there?" "Bark bark" "Bark Bark who?" "Bark bark bark bark bark bark."

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Why was the drunk man in jail? He had lost touch with himself because his wife cheated on him the previous night and to add to the fact she took his clothes so public nudity would be a problem.

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Did you hear the joke about the deaf man? Neither did he.

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What's the difference between a rhino and a house cat? They look way different.

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a sausage maker buys a box of cereal

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how many niggaz dose it take to fit in al lightbolb?? 36 ahahahh yall deez nutz

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What's long, hard, and wet? A difficult college exam that fell in a puddle of water

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Why was the Microsoft fan happy? Because Steve Jobs died.

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A disabled man runs into a bar. He notices he's not disabled and realizes his mother lied to him his whole life.

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How do you catch wet wood on fire? Ask a business owner in Ferguson, MO, to keep it in their store.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? -Because he didn't have any arms!

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Q: Why Did The Family Eat Olive Garden For Dinner A: Because it was a simple way to please everyone but letting them choose their own meal

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Why did Kurt Cobain commit suicide? Because it was drug related

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What do you call mexicans running down the hallway? JAIL BREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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You're pretty... PRETTY UGLY

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What is big, red, and eats rocks? Big Red that eats rocks. -For Abel

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Roses are red Violets are blue Elephants cant jump Neither can amputees

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So there's this one Cheerio who really likes this frosted Cheerio. He walks up to her one day and asks her out. She responded, "no I only date frosted Cheerios." The Cheerio then went and got a tutor, he became very, very smart and turned into a multi-grain Cheerio. He goes up to the frosted Cheerio and asks her out. "no, you're still not a frosted Cheerio." he gets a gym membership and works really, really hard and becomes and apple cinnamon Cheerio. He asks her out again, "no you're still not a frosted Cheerio." so he goes to church too and becomes a honey nut Cheerio. "no you're still not a frosted Cheerio." he focuses and tries even harder than ever before and finally becomes a frosted Cheerio. He asks her out, "will you be my girlfriend? I heard about this party this weekend we can go to." she answers, "I'll be your girlfriend, let's go to that party." So, they go to this party. The boy asks. "do you want anything to drink?" the girl says "sure maybe some wine." the boy en goes to the wine store. There's a super long line and he waits and waits but goes back to the party. He tells her and asks her if she wants anything else. "some soda maybe." he goes to the soda shop and there's another long line and he waits until he can't take it and goes back again. He tells h and asks her if she wants anything else. "some punch please." He goes to the punch store, and there's no punch line.

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Women's rights.

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A mexican and a black man are in a car. Who's driving? The black man. The mexican got his arms shot off in the war and is severely paralyzed. God Bless our troops. Thank you for serving us.

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Roses are red My name is Dave This poem doesn't make sense Potato

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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