why wasn't the boy at his moms funeral? He killed his mom.

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i like it in the mouth

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What does a ghost get when he watches pornography? A boner

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Why did the lemon eat salt? I DON'T KNOW!!

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson play with my brother anymore? Because he's dead.

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A dyslexic woman goes into a saloon and asks for a hair cut. Oh right, she doesn't have hair! Then why the f*** would she enter the saloon? Because she wanted to get her nails done. But she doesn't have nails either, and she doesn't want to drink. She came there because she wanted to hook up with a guy!

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Yogurt? You are joking right? I am having yogurt right now, do you like see trough me or something? I mean I have been told people can do that but no way!

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A guy walks up to his boy and tells him, "Hey, if you don't stop masturbating you'll go blind." The boy says, "Who are you? Your not my father."

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I treat women like I treat dead bodies. With respect.

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Nippies

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What time is it? 12:19. weren't we supposed to leave like 5 minutes ago? 4. For the mall...

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What did the racist slave owner do when his slave refused to complete his task? Asked him nicely until the task was completed.

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Are you trolling with me? I mean how can you know where I live if you have not even picked up the phone yet? Listen, if you wanted to make me upset, you did it okay? You won, I like you a lot and I would never do such a thing. I understand you being upset Nero, I am so sorry, I never meant nor wanted for this to happen, I hope you can forgive me someday.

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Neither have I

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Riddle me this, riddle me that. I'll eat your f^cking cat.

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Two muffins are being baked in an oven. One muffin says to the other muffin "Boy, it sure is getting hot in here," and the other muffin replies "yeah, that's because it's an oven."

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2 persons in an elevator then, one guy says: dude! smells like your sister! and the other guy is not there

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Knock knock Who's there? Interrupting doctor. Interrupting doct- You have cancer.

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What did the cabbage say to the cabbage? I dont know ask the leafy guy.... >_

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what happend to the kid standing on a railway, he got hit by a train

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What is E.T. short For? So he can fit on ship

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Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither, many scientists believe that the first living organisms on Earth were single-celled, prokaryotic bacteria.

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What's worst than dropping your watch into the gutter? Waking up with a penis on your head.

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Listen I know you're a cat and I'm a cat but I know we can be friends

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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