I got shot once it hurt a lot

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A farmer accidentally trips his wife. She falls down the stairs and the farmer is quickly arrested for murder.

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What did the President give his wife for her birthday? Women's Rights.

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What do you call a man who has no heart? Dead

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What do you get if you cross a river with a cat? Wet.

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Why did the chicken cross the street? He wanted to make breakfast

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Christopher Reeve walks into a bar.

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you momas so fat, you momas so ugly Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late great Salvador Dali mistook them for cloth.

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A kid goes to the doctor and orders a salad. The doctor replies, "This is a smoking-free environment". The kid puts out his cigar and goes to Olive Garden to get his physical.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Charcoal is black and so is my neighbor

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What's the difference between an orange? A bycicle you fool, a vest doens't have sleeves

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When's the best time to go to the dentist? When you have an appointment.

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Wanna hear something half funny 34.5

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Q: Why is it when geese fly in a V that one side is longer than the other? A: There are more geese on that side.

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Yo momma so fat, she has large amount of fat deposited in her body

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How many pupils does the teacher have? 2.

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What's green and apple-y? You're gay.

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what do mexicans cross? whatever they want. but in this case their local grocery store parking lot to buy fresh produce.

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two penguins are hanging out in Antartica. the one looks to the other an says "man its really cold out" the other quicky waddles away because of the strange alien sound its friend just made

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Tiny timmy likes timmy turner in his time of tingling on christmas.

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2 guys walk on the street and see a pile of crap. One says "That looks like crap." The other one stops and looks at it for a few seconds and says "You're right it is crap." They both avoided stepping on the pile of crap and continued on their walk.

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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whos best at KS3 irish and is sexy? tiarnan i lied about the sexy part

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You know what's worse than finding a worm inside an apple? finding crack, too late to spit it out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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