What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? Tiger Woods is an American professional golfer whose achievements to date rank him among the most successful golfers of all time and Santa Claus is a very jolly fellow who brings gifts to the homes of the good children during the late evening and overnight hours of Christmas Eve.

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What's black and very long? The line-up at KFC.

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Why was Mary's phone call suddenly disconnected? She was raped.

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Blonde Entrepeneurs

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roses are red violets are blue everyone is stupid how about you? -I'm not Im black

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Why was the young girl sad? A doctor told her that due to the fact that she was recently raped, she contracted AIDS.

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Why did the man with brain cancer die? He drove his Segway off a cliff.

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Knock knock Who's there? Derek the crazy man in the village and I have come to shoot you.

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Friends are like potatoes. When you eat them, they die.

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That's what SHE said!

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I need somebody to lean on... ...Because one of my legs was amputated after I was blown up on a mine field in afganistan.

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Why wad six afraid of seven? Because seven was a sexual offender.

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NEVER

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A:Hi, do you like to blow bubbles? B:Yea... A:Hi, my names bubbles

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For no reason at all Pac-man was being chased by evil monsters while eating his luch...He choked on his food and died

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Why did the boy commit scuicide? Because he was mentaly scared due to constant tormenting and teasing from his friends

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What happened to the clown that touched the kid? The clown got honked up

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what do you call a black man on the moon? Kid Cudi

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What’s worse than being ruled by Adolf Hitler? Being ruled by Joseph Stalin.

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How do you make a blonde happy? Do something that causes that person to release endorphins.

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A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

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What did the blonde say to the other blonde? What's up

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So there's a man named Moses. He prays to God for a donkey to transport him from Bethlahem to Jerusalem. God granted his wish. God said" To make the donkey go, you must say Hallelujah. To make it stop you say Go". Moses rode off happily. Suddenly the donkey went off trail and was headed towards a steep cliff. Moses kept saying stop, stop, stop. He remembered what God had said, and had said Go. They stopped one inch before falling down. Moses thanked the lord and said " Thank You Jesus, Hallelujah." And down they went.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Sheryl Sheryl who? No seriously, it's me, Sheryl.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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