What did the little boy say when he was sick? Nothing. He stayed in bed and slept all day.

How many orangoutangs does it take to screw in a light bulb? 16; mongoloid

What does a frog in a blender sound like? *WWWRRRRRRRBFFFFZZZZZCHWEEERRRRRR*

poop

Roses are Red. Violets are Blue. Grandma's dead. call the paramedics.

Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

What do you call a dinosaur eating a taco? Nothing, you are high.

How many people does it take to screw a light bulb? One, it's all the sex they can get.

I'm pretty sure you can't throw a fridge...

Knock knock Whoes there? ...

hi charles lattuca III

Why did the little girl fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? I don't know but it's not the little girl.

I AM FAGNETO! MASTER OF FAGNET! WELCOME TO FÅG! DIE X-FÅGGOT! XD Okay Fagneto`s roll me out of here, I am done with the super important last message to uh... You? No wait that sounds wrong, stop laughing you korean piece of... Seriously sorry I am drugged, you guys put enough valium in me to kill a cow, so please roll me out... I used to have a lot of korean friend you know, but then I killed them for being korea... seriously my fingers magically type shit when I am done, please roll me out of here, and fill that... Kundalini express? Is it me or did this get even more fagneto... Get me out of here now now now no

What do Sylvia Plath and a cake have in common? Nothing.

Roses are brown Violets are brown Who shit in my garden

There was once a joke without a proper ending and so

What's the difference between Elmo and Cookie Monster? One of them doesn't listen to Michelle Obama

A Starfish walks into a bar. He sits down next to a man with a concussion. Q: What did the man say? A: Nothing because he was in a concussion and was no longer able to say words.

What Sound does a baby make in a blender? I don't know I'm to busy masturbating to it

Badgers are cool

Yo mama is so hot that she needed to lower the temperature

What's cold, limp, approximately 65 pounds, and being dragged out of that pool with no safety fence over there? Not important, lets go get some Wendy's man.

A man was walking down the street and witnessed a car crashed. He was traumatize.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he (assuming he bears male reproductive organs) saw some corn on the other side (using the light rays refracted primarily by his cornea onto the retina) which is his staple diet as he is a herbivorous chicken. As corn is the producer of the food chain in question and the chicken is the primary consumer, a fox being the secondary and an angry farmer being the tertiary, he needs to ingest this food source in order to obtain the glucose required to produce adenosine triphosphate by the process of aerobic respiration in the mitochondria of his chicken cells. Thus, the chicken crossed the road.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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