- Anti Joke

What did the facial stylist charge Jack Sparrow to get his ears pierced? A buc-an-ear!

why did the kid raise his hand in class because he had a question

roses are red,violets,are green who tf shit in the toilet?

Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

How do you make a baby cry ? Throw a brick at his face

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

What sits in the corner of room and gets smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

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"So there once was this wasp that lived in a jungle. This was not your ordinary wasp though-he was smart, philosophical even. One day he finally got fed up with his repetitive, insignificant life and decided that he would leave his hive, his family, his entire close-knit wasp community and he would go out into the world and make something of himself, just like the humans do. So the wasp enrolls in school, and passes with flying colors. Remember, this is a very smart wasp. He gets his high school diploma in a little under 3 years, with a 4.0 GPA and all that snazz. After high school, believe it or not, the wasp gets accepted to Harvard. Harvard! This too proves to be no challenge for our hero, as he graduates in just two years, again a 4.0, on the Dean's list, and all that snazz. Not to mention all the clubs and sports he was in-the newspaper, rowing, student government-and the fact that he was by far the most popular student on campus. Even his professors looked up to him. He goes on to get two PhDs, and when he finishes his education, the wasp faces a bit of a dilemma. How does he apply his knowledge now? Where does he go from here? He decides to try out politics. After all, he was popular throughout school, did well in Harvard government. So he runs for mayor, and wins in a landslide. He greatly reforms the city, fixing virtually all its major problems. He runs for governor and again wins in a landslide. Two years later, the presidential election was coming up, and the wasp decides he might as well go for it. Of course, he wins in the largest landslide in US presidential history. His presidency goes exceedingly well-he is loved by all parties, and has the highest approval ratings in history. He also finds the cures for cancer, AIDS, and broken hearts while in the White House. After 8 years (yes, of course he was reelected) the time has come for him to leave his office. Even his successor his saddened by the wasp’s departure, but they all know it’s what must be done. Back at his vacation home in California his first day after leaving office, the wasp looks back on his long and fruitful life. He realizes that he hasn't been back to his hive at all since that first day he left. He suddenly feels a twang of guilt as he realizes how much he misses his parents and his little brother. So he heads back to the hive, looking more worn out than he remembers. He goes inside and greets his family, who are overjoyed at the sight of him. He talks about how his life has gone as his family listens in wonderment. Eventually he decides he is thirsty, so he decides to visit the old watering hole he remembered. Once he gets there though, there’s an extremely long line. He decides it’s worth the wait, so gets in line. One hour. Two hours. This is the slowest moving line he’s ever seen! Eventually he calculates that it could be a few days before he gets to the front of the line, so decides it’s not worth it. He decides to go get some cider to drink instead, but waddya know, another huge line of people waiting for cider! He remembers one other drinking area that never had a long line-fruit punch! So he decides to go get punch. He arrives, and lo and behold, there's no punch line."

How do you stop your baby from crawling into your room? Shove a spear through its head.

A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

Why was the Asian women crossing 8 lanes of traffic with no blinker? Poor chink had a seizure.

Spoiling your fun. Jesus said on the cross, I shall return. Then he returned three days later to say goodbye to his people. Moral: What the fuck are you Åsshats waiting for? The third coming?

Hear the one about the giraffe and the clown? Yes.

a man offers an innocent little child some candy from his van upon arrival the child is raped and beaten suverily. -teagan doherty-

what did the boy get after his first communion? unwanted intercourse with his priest that resulted in scaring him for life, until the day he killed himself because he could never get over it.

What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

why was the giraffes head so far away from his body? because he has a long neck

Whats green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: smiles Did what hurt? Boy: When you broke through the Earth's crust ascending from hell.

What's the same about a duck-billed platypus and a duck? They both have a duck bill on their face... Duh!

wanna hear a joke? yes

Roses are red, violets are blue Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

How do you make a little boy cry? Slap the cookie out of his hand.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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