Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. He was stapled to the baby.

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How did the Nazis torture someone? They inserted a glass tube in the penis and flicked the end so that it shattered.

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What did 6 say to 7? Nothing, numbers are abstract concepts thought up by humans and therefore, they cannot speak or converse in any sort of language.

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HaHaHaHa... Was the last joke funny? Ya, well this ones not.

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What did the Nazi Death Camp Guard say to the escaping prisoner? - Nothing. He shot him in his face.

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So there's this mexican with a big sombrero riding a donkey, it was a sunny day and he didn't feel like walking.

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What do you get when you mix monster, coke, and and seltzer? Kicked out of stop and shop.

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How come fat people drive cars? It takes to long to ride a bike to McDonalds

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How do you tell if a kitten is alive? Throw it at the wall.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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Once upon a time, A lonely man was living in the woods. He died of exhaustion, dehydration, starvation, and bacterial infection. The end. Once upon a time, Another lonely man was living in the woods. He built a house, made a well, made a farm, got married, had kids, and had a wonderful life. The end.

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How do you know your sister is on her period? - Your dad´s dick tastes like blood.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This is a poem, Whoop-dee-do.

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what do u call a black person by his name

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What did the cow say to the dog? Moo

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how do you win a game try your best

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a man says "whats shakin bakin" to a friend, but his friend was shaking, because he often has seizures... thats what was shakin

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Three black men go to the basketball courts one day hoping to play some ball. On the way there they see a homeless man with a sign that says "Homeless. Anything will help." However, since they were on there way to play ball, none of them found it necessary to bring cash, thus resulting in them walking by the homeless man without giving him any money.

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What does it mean when your dog goes to the bathroom on your floor? He hasn't been very well potty trained By: robobob123

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What did the man say when he found out he had cancer? Nothing. He was so in shock, that he later died from another type of cancer.

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Why can't Molly ride her bike? Because she has no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Molly.

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quinn knows four other quinns but he ruined my life so he tells me to stop because im ruining this website but i disagree and now he is trying to tell me a joke and im not listening he is still trying but i don't care because i hate him,

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whats awesome? a blade of grass with a mexican hat and a revolver.

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The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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