An Irishman walks into a bar and orders a Coke.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Heheheheh, Good one, you made me laugh, you just made me realize that it was indeed I that said that to you once, and now you are telling me. I know now, I am happy, not because I seek happiness, but because thinking, finding solutions, guiding myself and others, is what makes me happy. I feel like an alien, because my ideals, my solutions hopes and dreams that grow out of a result of my constant thinking, will never be in this world. Yet I also feel human now, because it could have been, humanity could have succeeded...

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What made parashoot paint's so uncool? MC Hammer.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the boy drop his lolypop Because it tasted bad

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call black people in a pool? Healthy

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Nothing, he also had no parents.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A king's son's birthday was coming up and the king asked,"Son i'm the king. You can have anything you want." And the son said,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." For his birthday he got a rollar coster, a pizzaria, a new car, and of corse, some purple ping pong balls. The next year the king asked,"Son, i'm the king, you can have anything you want." and the son said,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." And for his birthday he got a manchin, an iphone, a water park, and of corse some purple ping pong balls. One day, the prince was driving in his car and was in a terrible car accadent. On his death bed, his father asked him one final question,"Son, why did you want all of those purple ping pong balls?" And the son answered,"Well, i wanted all of them because-" and then he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a rabbit with carrots in its ears? Anything, it can't hear you!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the male propagate the female? Because he was drugged. Slyly, this foxy female had slipped the male the date rape drug and a dangerous amount of viagra. During intercourse, the male ripped a gaping hole in the female's stomach and killed her. He woke up confused inside a dead stinking corpse.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's the difference between your mom and a toaster? A toaster won't period in your cereal bowl.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

How do you drown a blonde? Tie a cinderblock to her foot and throw her in water.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How many immature teenagers does it take to change a light bulb? Ya mum.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How did the mexican die while fixing a lightbulb? He fell off the ladder.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What is hotter than two girls making out? The Sun.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Two black guys are in a car. Who is driving? One of the black guys.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What is the difference between a duck? one of its legs is both the same.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? One is plastic and dangerous to children. The other holds groceries.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How many babies can you fit in a toilet? To be exact you would have to do all this math, so I tested it out myself and got 7.6.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's round and red? A round and red solid.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Wait what? What if you use the what what? Sorry I am still like super hypnotic trippy, dont worry though, I dont want it to end.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did one teacher say to the other teacher? We're both under-payed.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: what's red, green and goes over 100 miles per hour? A: a frog in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +8

You wanna hear a funny joke? Sorry, but I'm really not a funny guy. Not a comedian, you know.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's worse than losing your wallet? Having a miscarriage.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops