Do't you just hate when a sentence doesn't end how you think it will and it just octopus.

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-Knock Knock ~Who's there? -It's your mother ~Go away

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How do you lose your train of thought? You can't. It is impossible to fit a full size locomotive in the human skull.

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Miss Hoolie: Hello, PC Plum. What's the story in Balamory? PC Plum: I'm arresting you for the sexual molestation of twenty children.

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Why couldn't my grandpa use a cell phone? He didn't have hands.

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If you have 10 fish and you drown 5 how many do you have left? 10... you can't drown a fish, and even if you could you would still have 10 because there would still be there, they would just be dead. 5 alive, 5 dead

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Two men walked into a bar. I'm surprised the second man did not duck out of the way.

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Why did it take so long for the baby's to paint my wall? I didn't throw them hard enough.

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Why did the room packed with married people seem empty? Maybe they were all playing hide-and-seek. Or maybe the room was pitch black and they were all standing very still and quietly.

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whats wrose than slipping on a banana? Getting Shot in the face.

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Crime in a hen house. All hens killed. Police found the suspected fox quickly and asked him if he have done it. No - he said. But it was him.

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A: What does MC Hammer like? B: Big Butts. A: Can he lie? B: No.

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What did the tree say to the boy? Nothing. As i recall, trees are unable to speak and or show signs of emotion.

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what did the potato say to the apple nothing food can't talk

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What is a chicken? Because 7, 8, 9.

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Q: What's blue and yellow all over? A: A baby at the bottom of the pool with a slashed floatie. Q: What's red and yellow all over? A: A floatie at the top of a pool with a slashed baby.

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What do you call a black man that has a family with a white woman? A good husband and father who had a stable job in a not so stable economy. The current issues of inflation has made it hard for him, but his dedication pays his bills and feeds his family. He later will die a sad death caused by prostate cancer at the age of 47.

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Robin, get in the car!

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What is a holocaust survivors favorite food nothing

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i like my babies how i like my potatoes..... skinned

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How many chickens does it take for a cow to count on Tuesday? The same reason a horse got fired for seven plus one blue red green.

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Why did the girl go to the hospital? She had an asthma attack.

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What's harder nailing 10 babies to 1 tree... Or nailing 1 baby to 10 trees???

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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