What is the square root of 69? 8.306623863

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What's worse than rape? Gang rape.

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What bird can lift the most? i do not know, I suggest asking an Ornithologist

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A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother than explains to the daughter the logistics of sex. The daughter seems to comprehend and walk away leaving the mother to cook.

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Chuck Norris will die sometime in the future.

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Knock, Knock Knock, Knock Knock, Knock No One's home.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Q. why did the boy who just had his first kiss feel no emotion? A. He got hit a Croquet mallet and died

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Why does Magic Johnson always use extra large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

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...The new series of spinoff movies from the worlds most frightening franchise! Pretty Normal Activity: Doing the groceries *****-Did not scare me at all :D! Ballbusters movie rentals *****- The demon never showed up which made this the scariest movie ever! Could not sleep for months... Whatyumean there is nothing paranormal in this? Aww FU*beep*CK!! Sumgay Inthestreet Journal *****-Pissed myself just from hearing the title got a stroke and almost died!, was it another Paranormal movie you said? Most overhyped comment we could find. Goddamn exaggerated movie reviews that fooled me into buying the original and expect something actually scary :(

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What did the man say before he got stabbed? What are you going to do, stab me?

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How many babies can you fit in an oven? Depends how hungry you are.

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Why was this German dude's water bill so high this month? Because there were thirty dead Jews in his shower. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Kim Jong Un thinks that he is in shape. And when you think about it, he's right. Round is a shape.

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A woman walks into a bar. She gets hit on by every guy in the bar. After hours of being hit on she finally has enough and asks the guys to stop. The guys Say "ok im sorry". She leaves.

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knock knock who's there? to to who? to whom*

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What did the little girl say after her dad hit her? Nothing. She was a month old and died instantly.

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How many girls does it take to sell out a Justin Beiber concert? None, all of them are boys.

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Why did Johnny throw the clock out the window? His parents are never around to supervise him.

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Why did the girl say 'baa'? Because she was a lamb.

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What is black and beats up white people? a cop you racist!

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What did the librarian say at the heavy metal concert? Shhhhh

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Nice story but I wish it would have had a good point like... A moral? Moral: Need a light?

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When life hands you lemons, Squeeze them in the eyes of children

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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