What did the asian boy's parents say when he came home with a report full of b-pluses? "You did well, but try harder next time."

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What is Arnold Schwarzenegger's favorite lollipop? Choppa Chups.

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A: Knock, knock A: Knock, knock A: Um, knock, knock! B: Sorry, I was pretending that I wasn't home.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -John. -Hey John, come on in.

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wat do u say to a guy with a 3.5 cm choad wats hot tater tot

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What do you get when you cross a third edition X-19 TQRFT scooter with a teal-colored pencil? A third edition X-19 TQRFT scooter with a teal-colored pencil on it.

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Q: What happened when the Mexican went to the doctors? A: He was diagnosed with depression.

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Q:What did the cat say to the dog? A: Meow

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A Vietnam war veteran accidentally goes to a Vietnamese concert and says, "I could take a lot of them down with me."

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What do you call a person with no legs and an eyepatch? Names.

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you want to hear a joke? sure... too bad

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What did Steven Hawking say to God after he died? Nothing. He can't talk.

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Cold camel scrotum.

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What did the black boy get for Christmas? A bike his parents bought him.

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there were 2 sausages in a frying pan. One sausage says it sure is hot in here. The other one says WTF a talking sausage!

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josh simpson has cancer

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What is Hellen Keller's favorite TV show? She doesn't have one - She is blind and deaf.

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Do you have liquid tape? No ( But he really did)

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says "You have to stop masturbating." The man says "What, why?!" The doctor says "So I can examine you."

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Why did Winston Churchill cross the road? Grave robbery has become a huge problem lately in the United Kingdom.

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I AM SHOWERING IN THE BLOOD AND ORGANS OF ENDORPHIN RUSH IN ORDER TO APPEASE THE GODS KNOWN AS... ME, MYSELF, AND I!

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Daddy look! Roses! No son, those are rhododendrons... Daddy how do you spell rhododendrons? Uh... never mind son those are roses. So... Daddy how do you spell roses? Son, never mind that is a dog. So daddy how do you spell... SHUT UP! Moral: I put a spell on you.

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A man walked into a bar. He got a concussion and couldn't see strait for days.

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Q. Why did the lotion soothe the person's skin? A. Because its ingredients were selected because of their propensity to soothe skin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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