A doctor, a farmer, and a blonde walk into a bar. The doctor orders red wine because he knows it's good for the heart. The farmer orders a Piña Colada because he likes fruit. The two men wait eagerly to what the blonde is about to order. The blonde opens her purse and says "Damn it, I can't find my credit card." Suddenly, a handsome young gentleman walks up to her says "Don't worry miss, I'll buy a drink for you. What are you having?" The blonde looks up and says "Don't worry? I just lost my credit card!" In a fit a of anger, the blonde storms out the bar and doesn't order anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Knock knock! Who's there? Dick! Dick who? Dick Stewart, your neighbor from next door!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the carrot say when it was thrown out of an airplane? Nothing. It's a carrot.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A very nervous looking black man walks into a bar full of white people, however, the white people are accepting of all races, so they invite him to sit next to them.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I Used to be an Adventurer like you, Then I retired to achieve the top Anti-Joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why were the 3 men wearing black suits? They just left their mothers funeral, she died of terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man with a ski mask on enters a bank, he just came back from the slopes.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

why are black people good at basketball? because they practice

thumb_up thumb_down +9

The sentence at the bottom is true. The sentence at the top is false.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red violets are next thing you know my D*** is in you

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call something that comes out of a llama's butt? poop

thumb_up thumb_down +8

you are as stupid as alec. lol neewb

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did one wall say to the other wall? Nothing. Walls are inanimate objects and thus incapable of conversing with one another.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why is chad so gay? Its his choice.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Whats worse than a baby stapled to a tree? Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What is the difference between a Mac user and a PC user? The operating system that they prefer to use.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A. Knock-knock. B. Who's there? A. Hey, your doorbell's broken.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why is Justin Bieber gay? He prefers the companionship of homosexual relationship to that of a heterosexual one.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: How do you get a giraffe into a refrigerator? A: You open the door put the giraffe in and the close the door. Q: How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? A: You open the door to the refrigerator take the giraffe out then put the elephant in and close the door. Q: The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend but one, which one is it? A: The elephant it's in the fridge Q: You have to cross a river that is inhabited by crocodiles how do you cross it? A: You swim across, the crocodiles are at the animal conference.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesnt rhyme And your entire family died trying to fly to your house for Christmas. They crashed into a orpanage for death children. There were no survivors.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Whats sad about 3 mexicans getting hit by a train They were remodeling my kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down +57

"Tell me a joke" Tom says Your life.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

An englishman, a scotsman and an irishman walk into a bar together. They sit down at the bar, and the barman says, "What is this, some kind of joke?!"

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What do you call a bathtub full of dead babies? A tradegy.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops