Two Jews walked into a bar. Then bought it.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being raped and was fugitive lot trying to escape, to no avail.

What did Little Johny get for Christmas?

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple?  Getting raped by a 10 foot scorpion.

what happened to the autistic child that traveled to antarctica? he died.

Q. Whats Brow and rhymes with Snoop? A Dr. Dre

Holy shit Lawman! Next thing we know Nero comes back from the death! Seriously get over here stat and get "my men" under control here! So that last damn Moral was for you! I never understood why he picked me, so he never picked me at all... Man am I relieved! Do you ever fucking get tired of playing the hero? I basically ended up declaring war on Nero`s on people here, what should I do?

- Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - KGB wh........... *slap* - vwe vwill ask the questions!!!!!!! - Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - Mom the KGB is here again....... - i dont care just answer the damn door - 5 seconds later nobody answers the door....... u here a crash and all of a sudden big men run in with guns - one comes over and slaps the mother while he continues to say " the KGB vwill vwait for no one!!!!!" - every body in the house is shot and and the KGB goees on to tlive normal lives........ for the KGB

Me: Mike Mike: Yeah Me: The more you breath the more pissed off im getting.

A kid falls off a cliff and dies. Who cleans them up? A bear.

I wonder what happen to John? Oh John I know what happen to him. What happened to him then? He was playing on the bridge and fell off on accident. Is he okay? Damn women of coarse he is not okay!!!

What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? gloves.

What's cooler than living on the sun? Everything, because the sun is the hottest entity in the entire universe. Plus, who'd want to live on the sun?

If you want to paint a wall red, what is the fastest way to paint it with a crying baby? The baby will get very annoying and delay your wall from being painted so you put it in its crib in another room until you are done.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After be told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, Chuck walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

What does a black guy get for Christmas? Everything you own

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to its dying chicks who were just run over.

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock, knock Who's there? Not Susie

What happened to Mitchell after he left the store? He walked

Q: Why wasn't the baby playing with his blocks? A: Because his face was stapled to the floor

What is the least racist animal? A panda. It's black, white and Asian.

What do you call the worst band ever? Nickelback.

I had an Anti-joke but i forgot it.

Roses are Red Violets are Blue Refrigerator

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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