Why does my girlfriend pee standing up? Because he is a man.

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what has wheels and is red. A heart, i lied about the wheels.

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Why did the baby cross the road? A very uncaring parent left their infant outside. The unsupervised baby then crawled under the fence and began to head towards the road. When the baby began to cross the road, there were two cars coming from both directions. Luckily, they saw the baby and came to an abrupt stop. Unfortunately, when the baby made it to the other side, an eagle swooped down and snatched the baby, because it is a bird of prey. Fortunately, the child's life was spared by the eagle. The Department of Child Services showed up later only to confiscate the baby from the parents. The eagle wanted to adopt it, but it could not speak nor could it sign the legal documents because it was an eagle.

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Did you hear about the 2 guys who wanted to go to rome? They didnt go

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You're such a dork you were found on the bottom of a whale.

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Your dad must be a drug dealer because I saw him in your kitchen snorting cocaine

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Whats cooler than being cool in High School? Nothing, now take a hit...everyone's looking

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had three balls.

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Haiku's are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigorator

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Imagine yourself in a box with no windows and no doors. How do you get out? Stop imagining.

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Who taught Chuck Norris? -Chuck Norris

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why would a man mistake a watermelon for AK-47? i dont know. The man probably has mental issues.

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Roses are gray, violets are gray. I'm color blind.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them

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Why did the man jump into the river? He wanted to go for a swim, but the pool was closed, so he swam in the river.

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What's the difference between a bird? Both legs are the same, especially the left one

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I dont usually get jokes, but when i do I get them.

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What do you get a black guy when he is hungry? Something edible.

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Why did the scarecrow get promoted? He was outstanding in his field

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What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot!

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How do you make a plumber cry? Tell him that Luigi beat him to the princess

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? rockband

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What do you call a girl with 2 brains? Pregnant

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A Jew and a Muslim are playing golf. Just not together.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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