What was the first thing the mother did when her baby was born? Weep. The baby was a was a stillborn.

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A batch of muffins is baking in an oven. One muffin says to another... Oh sorry, scratch that, they can't talk; they're f***ing muffins. (CSC)

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What happens if you drop an yellow shirt into the Red Sea? It gets wet.

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How do you have sex with an amputee? stick it in the eyes

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what are the best kind of bees none they sting and hurt like hell

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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WHATS BROWN AND SMELLS LIKE CRAP!?!?!?!?!?!?!? crap

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knock knock who's there? Police oh shit

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What is the difference between my elbow and my penis? I Cant lick my elbow

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A white man, a black man, and a woman are drinking in the local pub. The black man and the woman are hanged. Medieval European pubs did not permit either.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Q: How much jizz does a gay guy have? A: a butt load

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Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

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What a wonderful life!!! *gunshot*

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana Your parents must have little regard for your social identity because they named you after a tropical fruit. Either that or you are clinically insane. I am concerned; please leave.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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Your mom came to my house last night. We played chess.

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What happened to the power lifter that tried to deadlift 920 lbs while wearing nothing but his briefs? he succeeded because he is trained power lifter.

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your mother is such a nice person that most people enjoy her company

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Why did the British person go to the dentist? He had a poor diet which led to him getting cavities

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didnt a black guy ate him.

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Why didn't Avery die when he got hit by a bus? The bus was going three miles per hour.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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