Two muffins in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says nothing, because muffins cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What was the joke about that woman with altsimers again? Ironically I forgot.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? A: You can't wear cleats on a trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red Violets are blue Charcoal is black So is my neighbor

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon? You don't call him anything... You call for help.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Juan.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How does a doctor wake up in the morning He opens his eyes

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm horny and your bodily figure is very attractive Get naked

thumb_up thumb_down +4

roses are blue violets red im color blind vatalk is gay

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why are asians so good at maths? Because their culture exercises a hard work ethic in order for many of them to achieve high ranking jobs in order to support their families

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why did the chicken eat his brother? he was a canivore

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: What is the scariest thing ever? A: Child Birth.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

tee hee

thumb_up thumb_down -2

why did john wear a red hat? because blue is his favorite color

thumb_up thumb_down +7

*Knock knock* Who's there? *Silence* (The person knocking is deaf)

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Relax, it simply would not be working out for you if your mother was nearby, you see, the subconcious is limited by the concious mind, so if your subconcious can detect your mother (or anyone but me nearby) your conscious mind goes "uh oh" and it stops. Oh, right, and considering you can still type, how about we increase the effect into... I dunno, six billion? Yeah six billion. Anyway, the next time you want to experience it, just poke your nose, and since we do not want you to poke your nose off, you only do it once and you can yourself decide when it ends, at this level you should not be able to type, but if you want to type you can of course turn it off.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did Little Timmy say when his house fell down? I'm not sure but that sounds like a very sad seen that I hope to never encounter in my personal experiences.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

The bird is not the word.... Its two

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Want to hear a funny story? So, these to kids have cancer...

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is the differnce between a baby and a watermelon??? One is fun to smash and one is a watermelon

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are red violets are blue..... I have normal vision

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops