What do you call a baby with no arms or legs? You call a lawyer, and be sure to have him ask the mother if she took Thalidomide during pregnancy.

thumb_up thumb_down

What does an Eagle and a Mole have in common? The are both of the kingdom Animalia, possessing many organ systems and cellular similarities. And they both live underground. Except for the Eagle.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did Sally fall of the swing set? Because she got hit with a mattress

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why did we start questioning the philosophical reasoning of chickens?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

how do you make a blonde snowman? hollow out the head.

thumb_up thumb_down

Rishi is a funny guy, well he thinks he is. true story.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the hipster burn his tongue? The tea he was drinking was at an unsuitable temperature for consumption resulting in the scalding of his mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

?Three men walk in to a bar. one walks with a limp. The other two make fun of him and joke of his inability to walk as well as others around him.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's red and green and goes 100 mph? A frog in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +1,133

What is the same about a plum and an elephant? They're both grey except the plum

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is 0+0? 0, I am not dumb

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have alzheimers, Cheese Toast!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the difference between a Jew and a Paki? Nothing, they're both as bad as each other.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A pedophile walks into a Nursery. He get's arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Does 2 + 2 = fish? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

how long does it take chuck norris to watch a 24 hour video 24 hours

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why did the plant eat a banana? it was hungry

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Seriously, all your new jokes are shit. They are either repeats of stuff previously on the site or they are just so unfunny you'd struggle to get a sympathy laugh from your mother. Please actually take the time to think of something worth submitting or do not submit at all. We know people with no arms can't knock on doors enough now, and many things are better than the holocaust. Do something new!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're allergic to flowers So this poem will kill you

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being raped by a giant scorpion

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q)What is the best way to get the bitches? A) You shouldn't try. You could go to prison on bestiality charges.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did one baby say to the other? Nothing, they were both killed in a building collapse.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did Sally get for Christmas? Nothing, Sally is dead

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How do you get a baby in a blender? Feet first so you can see the expression on it's face. How do you get it out ? Nacho chips!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops