What's dead? Your mum.

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What do you call a fat kid? I don't know...you tell me

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(A man goes to visit his neighbor) Knock! Knock! ...................... ................... ................ ............ he walks back home

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I ate a pancake for breakfast not

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Why are there so many smiths in the phonebook? Because they all have phones.

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Why did the family go to Mexico? Because they were deported

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Rebecca Black walks into a bar. The bartender refuses to serve her because she is not yet 21.

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George Bush.

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Fuck yourself you piece of shit.

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What is the best joke ever? 1D

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why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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John: Knock knock Jack: Who's there? John: Whale Jack: I don't know a Whale, go away. John violently rips off Jack's cock in becaus he's sick of his shit.

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Tin is a chemical element with symbol Sn (for Latin: stannum) and atomic number 50. It is a main group metal in group 14 of the periodic table. Tin shows chemical similarity to both neighboring group-14 elements, germanium and lead, It is also the material Aodhan's house is made from.

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di you hear about the man that got his whole left side cut off? no well he died

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roses are red violets are blue get down your trousers cause im waiting for you

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What did the black father say to his daughter? you're adopted

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Why did Marilyn Manson surgically remove 2 ribs from his body? To suck his own penis.

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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Uh... No? Listen, the other 2 people that bother using this "site" (excuse for one) would not give a damn, and if some world government are after us they wont find shit. What? If I said no you would hack this site? My mother can hack this site, thats what makes it so useful for us... SO PLEASE DO NOT TELL EEEEEEEEEVERYONE THAT MY MORALS AND SHIT ARE ALL CODES THAT NOBODY HAS THE BRAIN TO DECODE PLEASE <<<<<<<<< *Sarcasm detector goes off* Seriously though, nah, dont hack nor delete anything, I kinda like how I got some thumbs ups on the comment section where I shared about my mother finally dying and me feeling the world against me great etc blahblah, "Erica" and "Wizard" thumbed those up and are now with us (seriously Wizard? Geek somebody?)

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What is Earth made out of? Earth

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friend: whats in the box? me: shhhh, its your mom... im saving her for later.

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A man walks into a bar. It was his push-up bar that he didn't install high enough. He bumps his head and it hurts.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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