Man: Are you tired Woman: No why? Man: You have bags under your eyes and you just yawned a minute ago

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Knock knock Who's there? The interrupting doctor The interrupting doct... You have Cancer

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Yo mama so fat and ugly, I don't want to tell you how fat and ugly she is for fear of vomiting.

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What did the fly say when he went to Dunkin Donuts? Can I have a doughnut?

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Why do the children cry at dinner time? Becuase there mother forces them to eat her own faeces and takes pictures of them doing it and posts it on the internet.

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Cameron is a r e t a r d

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What do you call a bear. Rob.

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Can Helen Keller keep a secret? No, she didn't hear it in the first place

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what did the McDonald's cashier say to the fat man ordering a large chocolate milkshake? you want some fries with that shake?

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What's worse that tripping over on your way home from work? Finding your entire family murdered

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There was a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They were all of equal intelligence.

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I drink poodle juice for breakfast lunch and dinner I was then turned into a tree

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a black guy leaves prison

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your mama's so ugly, she suffers from chronic deppression.

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What's funnier than a rock. A funny rock.

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Why did a little kid have a long face Because his face was stretched out by a truck wheel

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what did the blond do when her house was on fire? she called the fire department, because that would be the correct thing to do in such a situation.

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What do a reindeer and a grape have in common? They are both purple, except for the reindeer.

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Arnold Schwarzenegger at Terminator: Gaynysis (or whatever I wont bother checking that out) YA NEED TO REMUV THE QUANTANAMO TRANSLACATOR TO RELOCALIZAYSEE THE INTERDEEMENENTIONAL MAYTREX! Yes, Pops but what about the time travel Paradox? YOU NEEED TO REMOV THE CRISTAL PALARDOXAL WARCALIBREITOR IN ORDA TO DESINSTONYSE THE DEEMENTIAL CORDALOXEY! Me: *Leaving the cinema* Moral: If you thought the trailer was like "meh", then you will soon realize it was the best part off the movie... The only part that is meh, and while I can honestly say I dont understand shit about how timelines work in Terminator (The creators dont do it either) Having Arnold Fucking Swartsnigger go with the Geek lingo DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! To explain things to me, NOTHIIIIING!

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What did the goat say to the dolphin dogs don't lay eggs

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Whats the best things about 25 year olds? Theres 20 of them.

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why did the frog cross the road it was stapled to a chicken

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A jew, a mexican, a priest, a polock, a rabbi, a black guy, a white guy, an alien, a rooster, a duck, a horse, a chicken, a carrot, a chinaman, a plumber, a blond, and a christian are all examples of descriptive nouns.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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