A man walked into a bar owch

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Your mama is so fat, her gravitational field varies with distance cubed!

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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How much does a dead baby weight? the same amount when it was alive!

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What do you call a bookstore with explosive offers? Barnes and Cher-Noble.

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Best joke: Okay so I got a joke for ya but it is pretty long so bare with me please. First off, you must have heard a knock knock joke before and you must have a huge sense of humor. So this guy walks into a bar and orders fried chicken wings with hot fudge and vinilla drizzled all over it with a cherry topping. The bartender says, "We don't have that." The guy thinks of anything else he'd like and says, "How about a bucket of turkey and jalapeños?" The bartender looks puzzled and once again says, "This is a bar..." The guy is now paranoid and says, "Fine, I'll just have a thick, juicy, chicken thigh but please remove any excess skin on it, it's unhealthy and I'm on a diet." The bartender slowly removes his apron and walks out of the bar shouting, "I QUIT!" The guy sits there on the barstool laughing as a lady bartender comes to him. "So sorry sir, what would you like? From our bar that we have available?" The guy stares at her, squinting. "By any chance do you know if you have the punch line to this 'joke' because I sure dont." Slowly the woman removes her apron and walks out of the bar. The guy grins, walks out, and says, "job well done today. Where to tomorrow?"

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Why did the dog's chin get all scraped up? He didn't have any front legs.

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Q.Why did the chicken cross the road? A.To get to your house. Knock Knock. Who's there? The chicken!!!!!

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Old McDonald had a farm. He grew corn there, and got reasonably wealthy. Then he retired to the Bahamas.

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What's black, white and red all over? A cow after slaughter.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was at a crosswalk and the walk light was on.

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just sit down and dont be a Jew

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What did the 16 year old boy say to the obese girl who failed at typing? "sucks for you bitch-face."

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What is pink and gets wet a tounge

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i have two hands.

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Stevie Wonder: Did you see the new piano I got from pepsi? Me: no.... Stevie Wonder: Neither did I...........

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Why do girls wear perfume? Because they smell and they're ugly

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if you read this you are gay

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why did the clown fall off the swing because he got shot in the face

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What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? Nothing. Inanimate objects, such as a tube of glue, however adhesive the contents of said objects are, are in no way capable of advanced speech, let alone basic communication.

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What does it take to shit in a shower?? To choke on a whambar and be 90 kgs!

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What's 6 + 9? 15.

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Fitzsimmons. We met at your wife's work party.

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Why did the little boy run away from the beach? Hurricane Irene.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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