Why did the chicken cross the road? Stop asking stupid questions.....

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I once bought a pack of batteries but they weren't included.

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How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? You shoot at the blonde. Causing her to fall, but I have a feeling she will be pretty mad!

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy mad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy in pain? A: Because a clown was ripping off the boys big toes with a hacksaw, all the while causing the small boy emotional pains by killing the boy's orange cat.

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DON'T LOOK A GIFT HORSE IN THE MOUTH BECAUSE HORSES HAVE BAD BREATH

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My heart skipped a beat, I'm dead.

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Why did the tree fall down? Because no one caught it.

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How do you drown a blond? You hold her underwater.

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Yo momma is so fat, she has to wear a large shirt

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What's more likely to happen in 2011 than the rapture? Finding my real parents.

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What do you call a white person? Caucasian

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roses are flowers violets are too violets are purple not fuing blue

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What do a blonde and a door knob have in common? Everybody gets a turn

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Whats the difference between a black baby and white baby? I raped the black baby

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My wife told me that I should see things from a woman's point of view. So I looked out the kitchen window.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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Q: What did the vomiting man say to his friend? A: BLEEEAAARRRGGHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to his wife? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the waiter in the restaurant? A: BLAAAAAARGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Leonardo DiCaprio? A: BLEEEEAAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the convenience store clerk? A: BLAAAAAARRRGGGGHHHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to your mom? A: BLAAAARRRGGGHH!!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Barack Obama? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGHHHH!! Q; What did the vomiting man say to the King of Saudi Arabia? A: BLAAAAAAAAAAAEEEAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the bartender? A: BLLLEEEEAAAARRGHHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the funeral home director? A: BLLLEEEAAAARRRGGGHHH!!

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Sac

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Want to see a funny movie? -Watch Schindler's List

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What's brown and sounds like a bell? An old rusted bell.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "My wife just died from pancreatic cancer."

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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? It's a trick question. Feminists can't change anything.

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Why can't you get a pterodactyl use the bathroom? Because they're extinct.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops