Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's sad about an old black woman being hit by a Porsche? She was my third grade English teacher, and had a huge impact upon my life.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock Knock. Whose there? ..............

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: What's worse than falling off a mountain A: Falling off a mountain into a pile of spikes

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I'm Coming

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats worse than a gay pride parade? Genocide.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Jesus was a good guy

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A giant storm loomed over a village atop a hill. Citizens were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from the age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest. Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes. Finally, Rosie, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who has been through 13 interventions and countless suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonny, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a carton of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took the carton of Ribena, crumpled it up, spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

The day after Christmas a chain-smoker, a sex addict, and an alcoholic go to the doctor. The doctor tells the three friends that they need to quit their addiction or they will die. R.I.P. Tommy, Jacob, and Winston 1/1/2011

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What's brown and liquidy? Brown paint.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Womens Rights

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Want to hear an anti joke? Me too thats why Im on this site.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Chick Norris... Enough said

thumb_up thumb_down -4

you give like i give lomain

thumb_up thumb_down -4

knock knock. who's there? just open. just open who? you're really dumb aren't you

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How much is a pet whale? $1350.99

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Knock, Knock Who's there? A robber who will most likely kill you along with anyone else who will ruin their chances of becoming more wealthy off your most prized possessions.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

If your yacht is if moving at 50 knots per hour in a wind tunnel how many leprechauns can you fit in a chamber? Even, because purple is attracted to bestiality.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" Turns out a man suffering from schizophrenia believes he is a bartender for animals as his health slowly declines as his family comes to visit him every day.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the black kid die? He had cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's worse than getting a F on your History test? The millions of children around your age that cannot even afford to go to school, most likely because they live in a third world country.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

If life gives you melons you're dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Illumati Confirmed

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7,8,9! (Also it killed his family and nuked his country too)

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops