How did the two friends cross the busy road? They couldn't, because that would be considered jay-walking

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why did he cat not land on its feet? it had 2 legs amputated due to cancer and animal abuse

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How did the black guy, get a nice car, house, and attire? He went to college, and got a job.

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Are those two people having sex? Yes, I think they are.

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What did the plane say to the twin towers on 9/11 - Nothing, how do you expect planes to talk, stop hallucinating and stop with the drugs

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A penguin walked into a bar. Just kidding, it waddled at an increasingly fast rate.

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where is the world?

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neil likes pube toast

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Roses are red Violets are red The grass is red OH MY GOD, THERE'S BLOOD EVERYWHERE!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Loss of habitat.

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what goes round , and round , and croaks? a blender in a frog.

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THERES AN APP FOR ANTI JOKES ? now thats not funny !

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A blonde went to a hair dresser's one day, listening to a walkman. The hair dresser asked her what she wanted, and the blonde replied, "I need to get my hair trimmed, just make sure that you do not take these headphones off." The woman looked at the blonde, surprised, but did as she was told. While she was brushing the blonde's hair, she accidentally bumped the headphones, knocking them to the ground. As she bent down to pick them up, the blonde fell over, onto the floor. The hair dresser was very confused. She picked up the head phones and listened. This is what she heard..."breath in...breath out...breath in...breath out..."!

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Well, I'm naked so I'm going to go.

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What happens to the yellow hat when it is thrown into the red sea? It get's wet.

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A man asked Alexander the Great if he was gay, yet Alexander the Great was not offended. Why? Because "gay" has a rather different connotation than in the modern world than it did in earlier time periods where it meant "happy". Also, Macedonians, Alexander the Great's native people, did not speak English so he would not understand the question. Also Alexander the Great was gay in the sense that he was actually a homosexual.

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If I have 10 apples and you have 45 oranges how many plates can we fit on the roof? Purple because monkeys don’t fly

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What happened when the blind man reached for his soda? He picked it up, took a sip, and placed it back down where it was and continued with what he was doing.

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What do you call a hit and run victim with multiple injuries? An ambulance.

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Name an American born white man in the NBA. Thats right, you cant

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Why did the black man pick up a bucket of fried chicken? Because it's delicious.

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Why was Johnny so sad His father beat his mother

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Why couldn't Sophie brush her hair? She had Leukemia

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I'm not as random as you think i salad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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