Why was the black guy in jail He was a jail guard

Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 1

cancer

What's worse than losing your job? Getting brutally sodimized and murdered by a serial rapist.

How many Jews can you fit into a car? How ever many seats happen to be available.

Knock knock. Who's there? Bob, your neighbor. Okay, come in.

Why aren't elephants allowed in public pools? Because they are elephants.

why did annie fall of the swing? she had no arms.. knock knock who's there? not annie.

why did the plane crash? because fenton was driving it..."THE DEER HAD TO DIE"

What would Loiter Squad be if the characters were white? A show.

why did the pirate have a patch? to crack the software he had downloaded

Knock Knock Who's there? A Crazy Rhinoceros

How do you stop a bus? Throw small children in front of it.

Jesus the comedy skits: 1. Jesus just hanging around on a sunny day getting a bit philosophical... Jesus hanging on the cross screaming towards the sky: "FATHER WHYY!?" God: *Giant thunderbolt across the sky as a giant storm begins, it rains whirlwinds etc supposedly worst storm since Noah`s ark according to The History Network* Wet,cold Jesus with ringing ears: *Gurgle* *spits* ... WTF kinda answer is that? Could you not just have said because I work in mysterious ways or something equally stupid? TRUE fact: "then the lordeth sent forth a hailstorm of epic propotions in order to silence all of his insolent children, this was before the burning ashes and the sharp nails of course" -History channel 2. Jesus The wiseguy eh? Jesus being wise: "Only he that hates his mother and father can become my a student of mine" "And as thus God commanded that a single spiky cross with his son`s measurements where made, when Peter asked oh why lordy lordeth? God responded: Because of sin" and all was good" "Then Peter asked Goddeth, oh lawdy lawd, what is sin? God replied: Something original now shaddap!, and all was good?" 3. Brokeback Jesus fact: The bible does not use the word Donkey. "Jesus, why doest thou enter thy neigbors home and ride upon his large ass?" Jesus the psychic: "I shallt just ride upon his ass for a few hours, then God shall take ride his ass back", Ugh, I just got the feeling this is going to sound total Ass in the future... Who is quoting us by the way? -History channel. 4. Jesus the: Dumbass moments extended "Then Jesus touched upon the fig tree that denied him figs that WINTER, later the fig tree was dead for its lazyness" (real if not correctly quoted Jesus fact Kay?) Fact: Fig trees dont exactly look alive during winters, besides no trees give fruit during winter. "Then Jesus proceeded to demand eggs from a rooster, which he killed for the roosters lazyness" "Then Jesus proceeded to milk a bull and..." 5. Real story that does not quite make sense to me. Some blind guy was possessed by Legion, when they (WE ARE LEGION aka bunch of demons) saw Jesus they begged him not to kill them, as they would face God`s wrath. Jesus seemingly spared their life by putting Legion`s into several pigs... Which ran off and drowned themselves in the nearby river. ...Why did they suicide? Was it so humiliating going from a blind old man, towards pigs that they literally drowned themselves (one of the more painful deaths there are) and then probably faced da lawds wrath anyways?

a horse walks into the bar. the bartender asks why the long face.

their were 2 muffins. one said hello how are you. the other screamed "A TALKING MUFFIN"

What happened to the boy who ate a piece of his Halloween candy? He died. It was laced with cyanide.

Roses are red violets are blue shes for me not for u if by chance u talk my place ill grab my fist and smah your face

How did Helen Keller meet her husband? On a blind date.

Knock knock. Who's there?

NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

Q:why did the man jump of the house A:he did not I threw a frige at him

Why was the black man escorted out of the bar? Civil rights is still a real issue in this country and must be solved.

Roses are red Violets are blue The last time I saw your mom I made you

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...