God is the English name given to a singular being in theistic and deistic religions who is either the sole deity in monotheism, or a single deity in polytheism. He (I use the term 'He' as it is the most common conception) is said to be omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent, and omnibenevolent. I highly doubt he will give you lemons.

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What time is it? 12:03 AM

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What's the difference between a paper towel and a crab cake? Ones a paper towel and ones a crab cake

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What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

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My mom told me about a funnel they make for women now that they can use to pee standing up. I told her it was a ploy to promote feminism.

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What happens if you an 3ft size olive, a glob of red paint and rainbow colored glue on a table and rub your arm in it? You get olive, red paint and glue on your arm.

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Anti-Joke is a silver bullet.

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Whats worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings Whats worse than 2 bee stings? A car crash Whats worse than a car crash? 3 bee stings

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Why did the Hispanic man have no job? Because we are in a recession, and work is hard to come by in this tough economy.

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Roses Are Red I Have A Phone Nobody Txts Me Forever Alone

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Girls got to Jupiter to get more stupider. Boys go to Mars to build a sophisticated civilization.

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What came first... the chicken or the egg? How am I supposed to know?

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your mothers so fat...... shes borderline diabetic.

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How many pianos does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to change the lightbulb, and one to play a motivational tune.

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What has four legs in the morning, three at noon, and two in the evening? A baby with leprosy.

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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Why couldn't the boy play catch with his dad? His Dad is dead.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

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What do you get if you cross a chicken and a potato? Answer- Chicken tasted potato

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A simple math problem. If 10% of men are gay, and 20% of men are chinese what is the probability that a man chosen at random spends his free time and meal time both on his knees?

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My mom told me I was pretty, I know now that she is a liar.

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What did the mentally disabled child say to the snowman? Mnnghhhmuhmuhhu ooh ooh ooh!

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Justin Port#$ falls out of a tree. What happens? he breaks his neck and unfortually dies a long painful death.

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What did the doctor say to the actor? Your an actor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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