A man walks into a bar... "OUCH", he says for no apparent reason. He then buys a beer.

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Two babies wonder off from their home. They die of starvation because there parents could not find them in time.

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a fat man eats porkchops all day ling shit a just craped my pants

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Doctor! Doctor! There's a fly in my soup! Gross.

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What do you not want to get when playing scrabble? Diarrhea

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Q: How do you fit two beluga whales into a mini van? A: You don't.

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Why did somebody text "lol"? Because they laughed out loud.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ted. Come in.

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A blonde fails an exam because she did not study

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Why did the creator of Anti-Joke.com make the website? Because he probably wanted to promote his book and make more money.

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How many clowns fit in a car? Depends how many get in the car.

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"Why is Barney green and purple?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way."

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Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and an avacado? Michael Jackson molested a 12 year old boy

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roses are red, violets are blue, charcoal is black, and my neighbor is too.

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? It didn't. It's dead.

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Listen Nero, lol "listen", anyway, you seem pretty quick to take the blame for my mistakes here, I mean sigh... ...I would never send anyone to harass anyone, but then again I should never allowed them to join in the first place, how bad is that eye doing by the way? I am deeply sorry, I never meant for anything like this to happen. I am eating as I write, I mean I am still scared, I would not blame you if you still keep burning anger towards me.

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What did the Holocaust survivor say when asked about their memories in the deathcamps? A: I'd rather not think about it.

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How many friends did Jeffery have? 0 because he ate them and put them in his fridge.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread. Why did the car crash? Because the driver was a loaf of bread. Why did the boat sink? Because the pirates attacked.

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Help me I need to know how to cook a human fetus by tomorrow does anyone know any good recipes?

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Whats Black and White and Red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb Mary had a little lamb and the doctor was surprised

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Why did the elderly lady cross the road? Because an atomic bomb was exploding behind her

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If you challenge the tarsier to a staring contest, it wouldnt undersand a word you say, but it would stare at you when you would think that was apropos. the tarsier wouldnt really think anything and would just make a peepee

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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