Wanna hear a funny joke? I can't think of one at the moment...

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A child in Africa developed Malaria. He became very sick and died.

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A Japanese Nuclear Scientist goes to the swimming pool, and buys a ticket. He went to the changing rooms and proceeded to have a lovely bit of exercise, which helped him burn off the calories from his carbohydrate based luncheon.

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? An ambulance.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a door? Various answers are acceptable. The door has hinges, a black guy has legs, etc.

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The song Barbra Streisand has more than 2 words.

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an alien is walking down the street he can't breathe our air and quickly suffocates and dies

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Ambition is like a frog sitting on a Venus Flytrap. The flytrap can bite and bite, but it won't bother the frog because it only has little tiny plant teeth. But some other stuff could happen and it could be like ambition.

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Q- How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A- You Poke Her Face

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Q: What's the difference between a vampire and a lawyer? A: A lot of things.

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What is the difference between a white man and black man who are facing each other? They have different rights.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it ran away and it's coop was on the other side of the road

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A walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" Not getting a response, the disoriented bartender realizes he was talking to his own reflection in the mirror at the back of the bar.

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How do you kill a circus? Go for the Juggler!

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yo momma is so stupid she went to the beach and the whales song " dooooooonnn't stop. belieeeeving. wwwwwhoooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOA"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Where it had just witnessed a horrific car accident involving it's spouse, who died on impact. Eventually the chicken fell into a deep depression, taking it out on his children in the form of physical abuse. Over time, the chicken ended up being alone, having no contact with his kids, having no friends, and living in a massive house with no one else. One day, he had a stroke, and no one called an ambulance because no one knew.

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my eyes hurt from what? being open too much

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knock knock. Who's there? Jehovah's witness. *Door Locks*

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why did Timmy fall off the the slide? he was hit by a plane why was Jimmy laughing? he watched Timmy get hit by the plane

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What's the difference between Rebecca black and your mom? Capitalize Black.

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What did a man say to the woman with two black eyes? "Are you okay? Here, let me take you to the hospital." The woman is now healing nicely.

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What's more traumatising than watching your dad raping a man? Watching a man raping your dad.

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Ok, I have a knock knock joke for ya.......you start.

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How do you get rid of a boomerang? There are many potential options for getting rid of your boomerang. You can choose to pass it on to somebody as a gift, make a profit through thrift stores or online auctions or perhaps sell it in a newspaper. Alternatively you may wish to simply dispose of it. The average reading speed of an American adult is 300 words per minute. This was exactly 100 words. This means that it took approximately 20 seconds to read it. This means that approximately 4 people died of cancer world wide while you read this.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops