What should you do when a man carrying a stuffed tortoise tries to break into your house? Call the police.

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What really killed the dinosaurs? ME!!!

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So a woman is in the kitchen. And she makes the most delicious turkey salad for her 4 hungry children and her husband. They love Jesus

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Why does Kony kidnap infants? To create an Infantry

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A joke were created last night and was so funny! But this is not the case

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Womens rights

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your wife has been killed in a car accident.

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What do you call the Flintstones if they were black? N****rs

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A white guy, a black guy, and a spanish guy jump off a building. They all die on impact and their families mourn their loss for years to come.

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human centipede

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Knock knock Who's there? Interrupting doctor. Interrupting doct- You have cancer.

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A fire at a chinese high school caused the death of many children. The drill was unsucessful.

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A bear woke up from his annual hibernation to find that his stomach is growling. "I sure am hungry." the sleepy bear said. So he found some berries, but spit them out. "These berries are far too bitter." the playful bear said. He then found some honey, however was soon bombarded with a swarm of bees. "That honey is good, but not that good." the jolly bear said. He then stumbled upon a cabin. "I wonder if there is any food in here..." the curteous bear wondered. The events that followed are now reffered to by the locals as the May 20th Massacre. While no witnesses survived, the police reports depict that the Martinez family, a young family of 7 enjoying their memorial day weekend in their New Hampshire cabin, was brutally slain by a blood-thirsty animal who tracked each of them throughout the house in a period of approximately 45 minutes.

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Funny joke to play on an elderly woman: Take her cane and push her In front of a bus.

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Whats white and blue and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? a fridge in a denim jacket :D

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Why are anti jokes funny? You can trick an old person to think they are

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My friend asks me what my mom does for a living and i told him that she is a nurse. Then he says "That a good job because she is able to save lives". I quickly reply "She works in an abortion clinic".

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What did the vegetarian eat for christmas? Food.

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Whats the difference between babies and a dart board? Dart boards dont bleed

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What do you call a pig with 57 nipples? 3 more nipples and you can call it a 60 nippled-pig

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I don't usually drink beer, but when I do it usually doesn't take much for me to feel the effects of intoxication.

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Have you ever seen Hellen Keller's house? Well it was really nice.

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People who are addicted to brake fluid just can't stop.

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why did the duck cross the road? More than likely there was something that appeals to the duck on the other side such as a pond or duck food. On the contrary there could also be something that did not appeal to the duck on the side from which he is departing from such as a lack of a pond or a lack of duck food.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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