What's the difference between a dead baby and a man? One's tall the other's not

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Q:If a lesbian woman is wearing a jean jacket, high heels, camouflage shorts, and sunglasses, what gender is she ? A: Sheep.

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Why God isn't a woman? Because Moses wouldn't last it 40 days on the mountain if that was true. And he also wouldn't come back with only 10 rules.

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Whats pink and fluffy? Pink Fluff

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-What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler? Michael Phelps can finish a race.

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What happens when a building has a 13th floor ? You realize this isn't a del building and fall down 13 flights.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. He was stapled to the baby.

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whats red and falls from a tree an apple

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God.

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A blonde is elected President of the United States. Half way through her inauguration speech, she forgets how to read.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Rebbeca black walked into a bar on Saturday

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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What did the rapist say to the child? Contrary to popular belief, I am just a kind old man that likes to hand out sweets to disadvantaged young children. I only got dubbed a rapist when a child crawled into the back of my van as I drove off; the fact that his abusive father was the one who raped him is not my fault.

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Your momma is so ugly that when she stepped on the mirror, it broke.

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Why was the house on fire? A dog peed on it.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was a really creepy movie

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you wanna hear a funny joke? so do I

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How does a black guy call to another black guy in Africa? using a telephone

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Why was the black man so good at basketball? Because he practiced.

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What is brown and sticky?… A shit…

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Why'd the clown fall out of the tree? it died. Why'd the cat fall out of the tree? it died Why'd the chicken fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the clown

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So, Helen Keller walked into a bar....and then a stool, and then a counter, and then a table....

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A good antijoke? Going to the last few pages of the "Popular" antijoke section....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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