I did your mom..... A favor..... By making you..... A sandwich...... With mustard.....

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What's worse than seeing your grandfather dead on the floor? Seeing your grandmother standing over him with a knife

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares?

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How do you get a women stop running a marathon? You tell her that you have AIDS and she should get herself checked.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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What does a joke and an anti-joke have in common? Nothing, since "anti-" refers to the opposite of the word that it is modifying.

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What crawls on the ground and shoots arrows? Legless Legolas.

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Greg told a joke. It wasnt funny...

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven liked to eat numbers lower than itself.

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In a nerd wedding they don't say "i do" They say "i accept the terms and conditions"

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a horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" Unable to understand English, the horse shits on the floor and leaves.

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A black guy and a mexican guy are in a car, Who's driving. A policeman.

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Johny got a iphone ipad and a macbook. He bragged to his friend. His friend said, i got an apple.

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a fish swimming in the water swims

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An atom walks into a bar. Did it grow legs?

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What happened when the black guy looked up his family tree? He discovered long-forgotten relatives who had lived during difficult times for African-Americans in the United States and faced disenfranchisement, extrajudicial killings, and chattel slavery. His sense of racial consciousness and solidarity was thereby reinforced.

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What do you call a over weight woman? Fat bitch.

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What did the cop say to the speeding black man? "Can I see your license and registration?"

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A german police officer sees a Rabbi. Nothing happens, it's 2011

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Why didnt john feel like fis n chips? he had a bus stuck up his ars

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What's big, and fat? Well, duh an elephant.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball? Because he would scare the shit out of everyone, and come to think of it wasn't even sure he had been invited.

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Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.

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What is yellow, smooth, and dangerous? Shark-infested custard

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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