How do you make a Flamingo cry? Hit it with a sledgehammer.

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There was once a family of tomatoes. A daddy tomato a mommy tomato and a baby tomato. they decided one day to take a walk. but the baby was taking forever so the daddy tomato walked back STOMPED on him and yelled "CATCHUP"

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Q: How does 5 gay people walk together? A: In One Direction.

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Whats red and bad for your teeth? A brick Courtesy of: http://samsjokeoftheweek.moonfruit.com/

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A man goes to a gas station to pump gas in his car. After about 7 minutes, he leaves.

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Is that a banana in your pants or do you just have an abnormally large penis?

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Alt F4

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Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens? Because they kept saying Bach bach Bach. No. Beethoven was deaf. He couldnt understand what they were saying.

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Why did i write an antijoke? Because i can't write real jokes.

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What happened when Dave tried to break the record for most marshmallows in the mouth at once? He choked and died.

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How do you get a clown off of a swing? You throw an axe at its face.

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Take My Wife- Because as it stands, I'm having frequent, toe-curling, unprotected sex with your wife. And that just doesnt seem fair.

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What has two wings and a halo? A chinese phone. WING WING HALO?

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What`s the difference between a dead baby and a pencil? I don`t keep a pencil in my backpack

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Dear emma brown i would appreciate if i could have my dick back, the you squeezed of wwith you ass cheeck -jackson edwards

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what is the difference between two trees? it doesn't matter because motorcycles don't have doors

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Romeo and Juliet both die at the end of the book. HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHA i just screwed you guys over.

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Why did the black guy jump over the fence ? The holocost.

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Q: What's long and gray and kills people? A: A gas pipe.

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So there's this bigass moose, and it goes in the store and it asks the lady bitch "where the potatoes at" and the lady bitch says "down aisle 5" so the moose goes down to isle 5 and there aint no potatoes.

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how old is god? i don't know thats why i'm asking you. by: Brennan pickrell

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Q. How did the blind man survive from walking of a cliff? A. He didn't he died

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Hey, Max!!

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aa

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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