whats long and stretchy? elastic

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Roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, I have amnesia.

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Why couldn't Little Johnny read his 3rd grade novel? His was repeatedly stabbed in his eyes.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is dead.

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whats orange, nocturnal, and hurts to the touch? The sun or an orange owl... Depends on your preference

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How did the soup lose his job? He got fired.

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Your momma is so boss that I work for her.

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Why is Bruce Wayne named Batman and Tim Drake named Robin? They wanted to hunt bats and robins whenever someone does something bad.

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Roses are green Violets are green I'm colour blind Everything is green

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Why don't dinosaurs talk anymore? Because they're all dead, duh. :P

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Yellow People !!

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Dogs

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Why did the boy die at his Halloween party? He was the victim of a drive-by.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a short term memory Roses are red

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Me- hey hitler you lost soemthing. hitler- Vat? Me-world war two.

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tomorrows international kill and orphan day, how meany of the sad bastard's you plan on baking into dough?

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What is worse than breaking your pencil? Flying on a magic carpet

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Why weren't there any black people at the book sale? Black people don't read.

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A grandfather clock fucked my bicycle!

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It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Why did the blind kid hit the other kid in the face? He was trying to give him a high-five.

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Why the he'll are there moths in the universe? It makes no sense. Where dies an annoying ass buzzing and flying price if isht ever help me?

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How do you give Salley enough energy swim against the river current? Add your own electric current.

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How many seals does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Depends on how high the ceiling is.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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