A woman refuses to make a sandwich and walks away unharmed.

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hi

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What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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if one legs christmas and the other is new years then you have a rare desease call holidaylegtosisisisisis

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What happens when you cross a vampire and a werewolf? A cross between a vampire and a werewolf.

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Helen Keller went to town riding on a pony she stuck a feather in her hat and called it uuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

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Why did the black guy seem so black next to a white guy? Because he had more melanin in his skin

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Your mom is so stupid that her parents were probably ashamed of her low grades.

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Whats worse than being a student? Being raped.

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What's the difference between The Hulk and The Thing? One is green.

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whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? ones delicious and the other is a watermelon

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What do you get when you cross a leopard and Chuck Norris? I don't know. Probably something like a furry yellow Chuck Norris with black spots and sharp teeth.

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whats red and and smells like blue paint red paint

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What does a homeless man get for Valentines Day? Divorce papers

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Wanna hear a joke? YEAH! Hold on. Okay, tell me when to let go.

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Fun Fact: If humans stood in a single file line around the equator, most of them would drown.

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What did my mom get for christmas? My dad, Dick in a box. My dad's name is Richard.

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What's big and looks like a mushroom? A Mushroom.

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A man walks into a bar in the morning. He is the bartender, and he works there.

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Why does Matt Daly do in his free time? it involves his finger and his own buttwhole

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one day a bear was eating for winter he ate about half what he had to and said "Im tired ill take a nap and eat the rest later. one month later he died of starvation

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whos got a massive fukkinn melon...B.I.M

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Have you heard that Bert & Ernie from Sesame Street are gay? If so, than whoever told you may be mentally challenged, Bert & Ernie are both puppets which even though they resemble people with active personalities, they remain puppets and do not have a sexual oreintation.

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What happens when lady gaga and chris brown jump into the pool at the same exact time. They get wet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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