Chuck Norris was once engaged by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Whats green and fuzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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What do you call a black man who kills jews? a serial killer

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Johnny just finished his pie.

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An alcoholic walks into a bar.... I forgot the rest of the joke but your mother is a prostitute.

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How can you tell if your roomate is gay? If he gets an erection when you have anal sex with him.

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what is worse than a guy pissed?

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I hated hipsters before hating hipsters was mainstream. Does that make it sound like I have a fixed gear bicycle? Because I don't... I promise... What's a fixed gear bicycle, you ask? You mean you don't know???

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Knock knock. Who's there It's Jim O ok come on in

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how do you make a baby cry? throw bricks at his face.

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Why did the stereo break? Cause little Johnny threw a bat at it.

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One kisses says: I have had 3 bottles of water today and I haven't peed yet. His friend says: O you probably have a urinary track infection.

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Why did the white kids accept Morgan Freeman as a kid? All of his school-mates looked up to him

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Why did the boy rip out all of his hair? He was insane.

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roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and grass is green due to the fact that there is chlorophyll in it.

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Three Lawyers are walking, one falls down, gets up and continues walking

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FUCK THE CHRISTIANS

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Knock Knock? Who's there? bob bob who? the builder

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What did the dog say to the Jewish Rabbi? Bark

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Yo mama is so fat she needs to wear extra large.

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Hey guess what? What? You're a Tree.

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What did the fish say when he hit the wall? A. Dam B. He Charlie I found the wall C. Both Well he didn't say both but he could have said A or B but it wouldn't make sense for him to say both.

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door.

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Why couldn't little Jimmy see his mum in the crowd? Because he was blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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