What do you do if you see a black man in your backyard with a bullet wound in his head? Take him to the hospital.

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Do the roar!

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the user is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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A chicken walks into a McDonald's and the cashier asked the chicken what he would like to order. A man waiting for his meal walked out realizing that the employees of this restaurant were not who he wanted making his food.

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How are this and that alike? They aren't.

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Q: What did Mr. Spoke say when Captain Kirk was raping him? A: "Ouch! Ouch! Captain, this is so illogical!"

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Your momma's so fat: She regrets not making the most of her youth whilst she was still attractive.

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So when I came home from work the other day, I saw tha my dog was foaming at the moth, so I took him to the vet It turns out that my dog didn't have a thing for marshmallows but had rabies instead and was promptly put down.

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Roses are red violates are blue, matty is gay, sebby is too

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Your friend is so retarded I am getting a bit worried and his mother should take him to get tested for mental retardation.

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Roses aren't Red and Violet aren't Blue, do you know why i even like you

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Person 1: knock knock Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: nobody Person 2: nobody who? Person 1: ............

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Ha! You're so gay that I respect the sexuality you were born with and I feel completely comfortable with, and happy for, you and your preferences.

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What did the homeless man get for his 34th birthday? 34 years of regret.

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Yeah I was beginning to enjoy that as well, but I used "timed hypnosis" I have not seen it been coined elsewhere yet, not that I learn hypnosis anymore, I kinda teach it covertly to whoever I believe can use it responsively. "Timed hypnosis" is not really based upon a set amount of time after all time is relative, and our subconcious does know that and the subconcius understands that we did not invent time just because we made some fucking dials spin around" Now, timed hypnosis is based on a purpose, for example: "I will go into a trance until I am done teaching my new buddy how covert hypnosis works and teach her to use it subconciously" But now I made you aware of that, so you can use it consciously as well, the real magic here is that the subconcious is so much more efficient and powerful than the conscious mind that it would not even be neccesary to have a concious mind, except for one thing.

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What does a man like. food.

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What's brown and hides in the closet? The Diarrhea of Anne Frank.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

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Why did Max drink the red Gatorade? Because he likes it more than all of the other flavors.

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Adam and Eve ate the apple and felt a bit ashamed and stuff. God looked upon them and said, well its just a fucking apple get outta here you kids! Adam and Eve also took things a bit too literal

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What did michael say to sam? (pedo face) YEH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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If i was a painting... Id hang myself

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing 'cause you done told the b i t c h twice!

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You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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