Knock knock Whos there your son your son who holy shit dad just let me in

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What do you do to become a hairdresser? Set Off the fire alarm

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"hey those pancakes look pretty good." "thats a cat steve."

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How the hell do you know? What are you Nero? You are completely right! I was going to say I got no blue tie, but then I forgot you often call ribbons for ties... How? Should I be scared? I am not, no wonder you never felt human... I am shocked, I cant think straight I am confused and... Sorry Nero, Goodnight, if nothing else, you are no demon, but rather an angel, sweet dreams love. The solvemedia says the bible, this is freaky, my mind is numb.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a bagel.

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More mindfuck "government hypnosis edition": What can doctors possibly do in order for you to wait enough for them to come to help you? They call you "their PATIENT!" Moral: So be patient and wait, oh thee brainwashed.

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what do you say when your phone is broken? A: my phone is broken

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Me: Hey, Johnny! Do you see that Tree? Johnny: No. Me: Neither do I.

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What is dark, funny looking, black, and rhymes with osama? A black lama.

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Why Was Did Jill Cross The Road? She Needed To Get To Work.

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What do you call a over weight woman? Fat bitch.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Funding a half worm in your apple because you just ate half of a worm!

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Hey Patrick Yea? I found something funnier then 24 Give to me buddy 25

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a blond a her blond boyfriend were walking acrossed a river. she gose over the river but the ramp brecks when she's past. her boyfriend says wait until night and I'll get a flashlight and shine it acrossed get on the light beem and walk acrossed.she says no when I'm haf way acrossed you will turn the light off.

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Why did the kid drop his lollipop? He got hit by a bus.

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poo is yummy

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Your mother is so fat, she is at great risk for developing diabetes mellitus type 2.

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this isn't an anti joke but you guys remember teletubbies?

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What can be any colour and is made of leather? Cars. I lied about the leather part.

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A kid walks into a ctholic school and asks about the therory of evolution.

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What did the booger say the other booger? "Is he picking on you again"

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I little 3 year old girl said to her dog "You're my best friend in the whole world" AND THEN THE DOG DIED!

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why wont our kids have time to socialize? because theyll all be too busy trying to find a solution for global warming.

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Why does everyone treat Jesus as some sort of saint for making five thousand people bread, when Hitler made six million people toast?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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