if yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs?

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Knock knock. Who's there? Quetzalcoatl. Quetzalcoatl who? Quetzalcóatl, Mayan name Kukulcán, (from Nahuatl quetzalli, “tail feather of the quetzal bird [Pharomachrus mocinno],” and coatl, “snake”), the Feathered Serpent, one of the major deities of the ancient Mexican pantheon. Oh... hi.

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Why am I righting in english? Because this is an english site.

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Ever heard of a funny black guy? Me either

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your doctor, You've been diagnosed with venereal disease.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A worm in your intestinal tract.

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A man spots Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles. He proceeds to tell his friends the story, who in turn believe him, as the story is plausible.

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what's worse, ten babies stapled to a tree or one baby stapled to ten trees?

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a piece of string walks into a bar and the bartender says “sorry we dont serve your kind here” so the string goes outside twists himself round and ruffles up one of his ends then walks back into the bar, the bartender says “aren’t you the piece of string i just kicked out?” the string then replies “i’m a frayed knot”

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a horse is running across a cliff at 54 miles per hour, against the wind. he has been running for three hours. he needs to run for 347 more kilometers before he is tired. the wind is blowing at a speed of 10 miles per hour... he wonders if he will make it when suddenly he falls off the cliff. why did he fall of the cliff? it was a retarded horse.

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A Nazi ran into a Bar.

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What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

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how many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? well it depends on the size of the bathtub - and the size of the babies, for sure.

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Three men were lost in a desert when a genie appeared and granted them each a wish. they died of dehydration shortly afterward, never realizing they were hallucinating.

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A White guy, Black guy and Hispanic are all on the same bus. They get off at their predetermined stops and continue their day.

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There was a dog and a cat. What happens next? The cat's not there anymore. Neither is the dog. Can you guess what happend? The dog ate the cat, but the cat was his friend, so the dog committed suicide.

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Uh, summa lumma dooma lumma you assuming I'm a human What I gotta do to get it through to you I'm superhuman Innovative and I'm made of rubber, so that anything you say is Ricochet in off a me and it'll glue to you And I'm devastating more than ever demonstrating How to give a motherfuckin' audience a feeling like it's levitating Never fading, and I know that haters are forever waiting For the day that they can say I fell off, they'll be celebrating 'Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated

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Whats the similarity between a bike and a black person? They are both stolen

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Why'd the littler girl fall of the swing? because a drunk driver ran through the swing, the little girl was killed. he was later charged with manslaughter.

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What do you call a person trying to rob a store with no arms? Peter Pan

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Tell her to inform the police that her significant other is assaulting them and that she should file a restraining order.

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1. In 2010, 8.8 million people fell ill with Tuberculosis. 2. Up to 70,000 children died in 2010 due to Tuberculosis. 3. Tuberculosis is the leading killer of people living with HIV with 1.4 million deaths. 4. Death from Tuberculosis has dropped 40% since 1990. 5. No country has ever eliminated Tuberculosis entirely. 6. About 46 million Tuberculosis patients have been successfully treated since 1995. 7. Children under 5 years old rarely get the disease. 8. Edgar Allen Poe’s mother, foster mother, and wife all died of Tuberculosis. 9. It can take up to 12 months to recover from Tuberculosis. 10. People with tuberculosis have symptoms such as cough that “won’t go away”, a cough that brings up blood, a fever lasting longer than 2 weeks, night sweats, fatigue, or noticeable amounts of acute weight loss. 11. Nearly 2 million people die from tuberculosis yearly. 12. Tuberculosis kills 5,000 people daily.

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What's better than a stick? A stone

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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