roses are red unless they are the pink ones oh yeah they're also pretty expensive

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Q: What do you call a man from south korea? A: I don't know, but I'm not letting him drive my car.

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if a tree falls in A Forest, would Robert Smith hear?

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what's the difference between a lion and an ostrich? they are both birds, a part from the lion

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Why did the Asian man go to bed? Because he was tired

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Jim: You wanna hear a funny joke? Tim: Sure Jim: Well, if you want a funny joke, this isn't the place to be.

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What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? ...an owl with a bungee cord.

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Whats more dangerous then a man with a gun? two men with guns.

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How do you punish Hellen Keller Move the furniture around

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names

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Why did the mother stop breastfeeding her son? Because he was twenty five.

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the bully said, you're just small fries. the fries couldn't help it someone ordered a small!

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How do you fit a whale into a truck bed? You can't, whales live in the ocean.

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An Hispanic married couple walked into a popular restaurant. The waiter arrived at their table and asked what they would like to eat. The husband ordered a steak and his wife ordered a salad. They both enjoyed their food, payed the bill and happily walked out of the restaurant.

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Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas? There is no Santa Claus.

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my d i c k in your a s s.

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Say this to someone: On a scale from one to ten, what is your favorite color?

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Oh you're dating my ex? Do you want my unfinished sandwhich too? And my old shoes? And a couple of my shirts I don't wear anymore? How about a my toys I used to play with? Or my spoiled pickle that's been in my car for about a year and a half after I went to the mall with my friends, we watched a movie, I don't remember which one it was but it was funny, then after that we went to McDonald's and it was the first time I heard of McGangbang and it was pretty good. After that I think we went to Jerry's cousin's house, he was a cool guy until I found out that he likes Tyga, so I ended up never talking to him again.... I went off topic, sorry

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Whats funnier than a dead baby? Pretty much anything.

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69

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Where was Susie when the bomb exploded? Everywhere

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Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be severely mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

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What did Helen Keller say to a stranger at a party? I earned a Bachelor of Arts degree, wrote several books, traveled to over 39 countries, and was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom, one of the United States' highest two civilian honors, from President Lyndon B. Johnson.

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Two Gay Men Walk Into a Bar, Not Just Any Bar...... a Sports Bar and Enjoy a nice cold Beer with their Heterosexual friends while watching the super bowl. They both go in the back room, where it is dark, together........ and they call for the manager to find out where the chef is so they can tie him down..... and smother him....... in questions concerning the size of his....... buffalo wings stop judging people you ass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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