My Roomate-(crying in the fetal position for the love of his life has been murderer) Me- (laughing) I have a problem

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Q: What did the nazi say to hitler? A: You like my Auschwitz?

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Does pizza sound good for dinner?

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What's red and green and goes round and round? A kilt at a scottish dance

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How much wood could a Woodchuck chuck if a Woodchuck could chuck wood? The etymology of the name woodchuck is unrelated to wood or chucking

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Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fungi.

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Q: What did one candle say to the other? A: Nothing, the mere thought of candles being able to possess the ability of speech is preposterous beyond any of the highest capabilities known to man.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -because chickens have a free ability to walk and this chicken felt the urge to walk across the road. Why not?

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What did the girl call the boy? ugly. they hated eachother.

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What do you call a boomerang that wont come back? Broken.

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There was a screwdriver and a spoon. What did the screwdriver say to the spoon? Nothing because neither of them are living objects and it is impossible for inanimate objects to talk.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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When Chuck Norris is in a puddle, he doesnt get wet....he wears rainboots.

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why do cats hate dogs? because cats were bullied by dogs in highschool.

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What do skeet disks and Jewish babies have in common? Hitler used to shoot them out of the sky.

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--Knock Knock Who's there? --Banana Banana who? --Knock Knock You just said that --Sorry i have Alzheimer's

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How many blondes does it take to walk into a bar? One I guess. I don't know if I understand the question.

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Hi! This is Ms.McGruder you two boys in my office at 3:00 p.m. today

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Stephen Hawkins walks into a bar...

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Q: what did the man say to the woman when he wanted her to leave? A: please leave

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why did the boy and girl go under the covers together? because they were cold

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What did one skeleton say to the other? Nothing... Skeletons don't have vocal cords

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Roses are red, violets are blue, cheeseburger.

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops