What do you call an asian plumber? A plumber.

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Penis.

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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What would be the consequence of a terrorist detonating a 500 kT nuclear bomb in Manhattan? A ridiculous question. All enriched uranium in Pakistan is safe and out of reach of terrorists, their govt. has assured. Please ask about realistic scenarios next time.

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Who are the faster readers? New Yorkers, they through 110 stories in 5 seconds

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You dork, seriously, the comment where I mentioned that I am married is like 60000 comments PAGES behind. What? Now you ashamed of losing your, I mean I can say that I am your first right? That I am going to stick my MANFLESH into your CHERRY AND POP IT RIGHT? JUST TRYING TO BE SUBTLE HERE! Seriously though, Your name is really Tifa? And you look a FUCKING HELL A LOT Like Tifa From Final Fantasy... You know, except she has gigantic feet and no lips and you know...

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Mom: what does IDK, LY, and TTYL mean? Son: I don't know, love you, and talk to you later. Mom: OK, I'll ask your sister.

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Don't think of granny porn

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Knock, knock Who's there? The electrician And about bloody time too, you'd better come in.

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What does your girlfriend eat every morning that is white, warm and sticky? Oatmeal

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What did the sheriff call the death of a black man who was shot 14 times? -The worst case of suicide he'd ever seen.

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How many policemen does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they just beat up the room for being black

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Why did Suzy cross the road? She didn't she got hit by a bus. Knock, knock! Who's there? Not Suzy!

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Y couldn't you stop the bowling ball? Because it was going down a hill.

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Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

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Why do birds suddenly appear? Because they can fly

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Why did the little girl fall to death? Because pigs can't fly. It's impossible.

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knock knock! who's there? Jim Jim who? Jim Goldenbach

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Why did the clown fall out of the helicopter?? Gravity

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How do you find out how many Mexicans are living in the United States? Take a Census.

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? lettuce lettuce who? Lett-uce be friends

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What did the jew say to the black man? Nothing they were in a mall that got invaded by evil trees.

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Rick Santorum 2012

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -The Pizza you ordered. -Oh thank you very much. -That'll be $10. -Here you go. -Thank you very much, sir. Enjoy your meal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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