How to you get a clown off a swing? You shoot it in the face.

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What do you call a black man in a cotton field? A farmer

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Q: How many chicken nuggets can fit into an olympic size swimming pool? A: 8,563,690,152... Corndogs

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There once was the worlds most important people on an airplane. All of them. They were a Boy Scout with a hiking pack, World's Oldest person, World's Smartest person, a Scientist who had the cure to cancer, and the World's Richest man. The Pilot told them that the plane was running out of gas and they would have to bail. But there was a problem, two people were going to have to die. They were only two parachutes short. So the Scientist grabbed one and said, "I'm the only one with the cure to cancer I've got lives to save." And he bails. Then the World's oldest person jumps out with a parachute saying, "I Still Have A Life To Live!!!" Then the Richest person realizes there is two parachutes left. He says, "I have the most money so I have to go because I could save America from going bankrupt." Grabs a chute and jumps. Then, the world's smartest person just happens to be so selfish and bails with the last Parachute. So the Pilot and and the Boy Scout were left. The pilot was kind enough to let the Kid go because he still had he longest life to live. But the kid said no, we could both go. The pilot said no you go. The kid was still being stubborn. And said No, we could both go, The world's smartest person took my back pack, there is one chute left, we could share it. And so they both jumped and landed safely on the ground. And that was the end of the World's smartest man.

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Yo sugars so salty when you put it on your french fries they taste like salty french fries

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A van drives into a car. An hour earlier, the man who was driving the van walked into a bar.

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Not Steve Jobs

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What did timmy fall off the swings? He had no arms

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What's the difference between a black man and a bunk bed? A bunk bed is stable and can support two children.

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Why was the elderly, Asian, blond pulled over by the officer? She was, and has been completely blind since birth.

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four score and seven years ago. . sharks with frickn laser beams attached to their FRICKeN HEADs.

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why did the black child cry? strange men cut his penis off

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i dont like attention whores lol

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Your momma's so ugly, she has endure self-esteem issues relating to her appearance that have plagued her since grade school.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Fire extinguisher? One puts out a fire the other one fuels it.

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10 Mexicans are in a car. Who is driving? 1 of the Mexicans.

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Well, this is fun.

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why did little suzy fall off the swing? she was stabbed by a drugaddict

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Aladdin found a rusty old lamp at the foot of a mountain. He rubbed it and the Ginnie had died after the long drop from the cliff

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A: Did you know that cashews come from a fruit? B: Not really. This is an interesting fact. Any other facts you have? A: yes ("A" was lying)

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your doctor. The results came back, and you have brain cancer.

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Why did the black man drop his weed Because he got shot

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Robin get in the Batmobile.

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How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face? She didn't use enough sunscreen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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