Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because he's black...

How do you get someone to come out of the closet? Unlock it

I insist, you go ahead. See you around. how about in four six hours?

A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to the hospital for his concussion, seeing as the bar was made of metal

A small boy called peter got stuck up a tree, a man walks past and said "how did you get up there?" peter replies "i fell"

A man walks in front of a bus. The bus driver avoids the man but hits the boy eating ice cream.

What's harder than nailing a baby to a tree? My penis whilst im doing it.

Why'd the girl fall of her scooter? She fell into a hole and died. She was never found again. All that was left was her scooter.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

i may not know where you sleep. but, i spiked your drink with sleeping pills

your mom is so fat, she uses nutrisystem and other weight-loss systems to try to loose weight.

10 mexicans were driving in a car and went off a cliff. what happend? No one cares.

Yo mama's so ugly, She cured cancer.

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

Something other than a Human Being walks into a bar. The bartender then makes a rational decision about how to handle the situation.

Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They all realize that none of them know each other, wonder when in time they are, have mental breakdowns, and run screaming into the night.

why was the kid sitting in a wooden chair? Because at the early age of four he was diagnosed with cancer and genital warts!

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didnt. Why do we have to live in a world where people have to be so concered about why a stupid chicken decides to cross a road. Shouldnt we all be more focused on ways to get a better economy, or maybe end world hunger?

What did Tiger Woods do when he saw a woman taking her shirt off? He looked the other way so he could make his birdie putt

How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask them politely to turn down their volume.

Women's Rights

What's worse than 10 babies in one trash can? One baby in 10 trash cans.

What's the best part of having a doctor for a best friend? The sex.

2 polar bears are standing on a chunk of ice that is floating in the Arctic Sea. One turns to the other and says, 'Dyu know; I keep thinking it's Thursday...'

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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