A straight man walks into a gay bar and is amazed by the amount of fun he has and how cool people can be when you don't judge someone based on sexual preference or your own religious beliefs.

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Yeah, I mean to be honest with you, I get that one a lot.

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Did you hear about the woman that died of a heart attack? More oxygen for us!

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Yo mama's house is so small that she had to get a better job in order to buy a bigger one.

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What do apples and black men both have in common? They are both people except for the apple

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Hitler was in a shampoo advert that everyone bought Now people must be dying to take a shower

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Brett Favre sent me a pic of his penis. I then compared it to my own and felt good about my general ackage size

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

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what does a pickle and a computer have in common? ... they both have a mouse.

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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How many gays does it take to change a light bulb? 1, even if hes not happy im sure he would still be able to change it.

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Taxes are like prostitutes. The higher your salary, the more you pay.

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I pushed my friend off the bed after losing to him in FIFA 2011. He died.

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what is white and black and red all over? a half eaten penguin

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Q: Whats Red And Has Socks? A: An Apple, I Lied About The Socks..

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What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A Drumset.

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A white man walks into a bar. He stabs 4 people and 1 escapes with extremem blood hemorages. his fanily later finds him bleeding on their family car. They take him to the hospital where he is put on life support. Later that night they are told there is nothing the doctors can do and the man slips away in his sleep. Who is to blame? The black guy in prison.

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How do you hook up with a really hot chick? This website is intended for Anti-Jokes, Not Dating Advice.

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A blonde, a red head, and a brunette are on an island. Due to the law of averages, this isn't that unlikely or significant.

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An old man walks into a bar. He drinks 3 beers and dies. The bartender calls paramedics but when the police came they arrested the bartender for beating his wife. A few hours later an earthquake destroys the bar and everyone was evacuated and many were injured. The manager was driving to the scene but has a car accident with the ambulance. It was such a bad day.

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What do you call an black man on the moon. An astronaut you racist bastard

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What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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My former roomate had that game, about some bald guy that can slow down time, but thats like supernatural or something.

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A priest and a small child enter a bar. The bartender takes his son back from the priest, paying him $30 for his exemplary babysitting services.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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