took my chevy to the levy but the levy was dry

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We were hooking up and her mom walked in, i stood up, apologized and left

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

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Whats small, rough, and painful to put in your ass? Sandpaper

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A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

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A blind man walks into a bar. He cannot read the drink menu.

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Because you killed my Llama. He was my best-friend.

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Whats worse than losing your keys? Your entire family dying in a preventable house fire.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're adopted.

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you better accept "balls in yo mouf"...

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Yo mama so short she often has to ask you to retrieve items from the top shelf of her cabinet.

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have you seen the movie, Constipated? Never mind, it hasn't come out yet.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Shut up.

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Where does the king keep his armies? In a variety of military barracks and bases situated around his kingdom where they are ready to be deployed for combat or peacekeeping operations.

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Obama

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what you say to the kid that just hit puberty? your a young man

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-rick:hey wut happens wen i pull this pin -jerry:rick no!!!!! rick then starts to cry as he remembers the tragic accident that caused his friends death,which rick caused

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Knock Knock Who's There? Boo Boo Who? Boo Smith, I'm the town rapist.

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out, what are you inside? American! What are you, a communist?

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What is 9 inches long, the same colour as my skin, and makes my girlfriend gag when I shove it down her throat? Her Miscarriage.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill. Jill was dehydrated.

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Oxygen and magnesium are going out OMG Think science the you might get it If not O oxygen mg magnesium

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An alcoholic walks into a bar. He is destroying his family.

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Johnny has 30 pints of ice cream. He eats 25 pints. What does Johnny have? Diabetes. Johnny has diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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