How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? If you need an electrician to screw in a lightbulb, you're a moron.

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What do you call an African American witch doctor dressed in ceremonial robes flying a plane? A Pilot.

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What is pink, red and silver and crawls into walls? A baby with forks in it's eyes

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Hello

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Q: How do you stop a skunk from smelling? A: Lethally inject it.

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Why is little johnny sad? He won the lottery but then found out the next day he had cancer and cried in a corner.

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Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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what do Jewish people and pizzas have in common? they enjoy parties

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What's the difference between an orange? Mooses don't like to wear sweater-vests.

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What is worse than when the Titanic sunk? You Cannot say. You were on that ship.

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how long does it take a meth-head to rob your flat? not long at all, and they'll take everything. they need to, it's an addiction

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Don't hate the cosplayer hate the... Actually, I lied, hate the cosplayer.

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Why doesn't the man like iced tea? Because he likes it hot.

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In retrospect, I was wrong to microwave all those cats.

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Yor Mama is soooooooooooo fat, when she looked in da mirror... it cracked.

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An alligator walks into a bar. The bar tender calls animal control and calmly escorts everyone out the back door.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he's not gonna come

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Why did the black guy hate the white guy??? Because the white guy enslaved his ancestors.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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What's the difference between a jew and a jew? They both died in the gas chamber.

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Where did Susie go when her town was bombed? Everywhere.

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What did the kid with cancer get for his birthday? Nothing he didnt make it that far

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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