Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

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Yo mama so fat she has an increased risk of blood clots!

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Why did it take a long time to read the anti-joke? Because of the great amount of space between the question and the answer.

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So, a man walks into a bar, and he ends up in intensive care, because the bar was very hot and gave him severe burns. He was on business in an industrial park.

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How did the Pollack die? Cardiac arrest.

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Knock Knock: I have full blown AIDS

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? Tiger Woods is an American professional golfer whose achievements to date rank him among the most successful golfers of all time and Santa Claus is a very jolly fellow who brings gifts to the homes of the good children during the late evening and overnight hours of Christmas Eve.

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What do you get when ned puts toast in the toaster? A fucking massive sperm whale.

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So, a man walks into a bar. Suddenly, the universe around him cracks, unable to sustain the weight of infinite potential punchlines. He tumbles through an empty void amongst shards of his broken reality.

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roses are red, violets are blue, my name is dave, this poem makes no sense, microwave.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

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Whats the difference between the floor and the ceiling? One of them is higher!

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Why can't the t-Rex clap..... Because it is dead

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What was the last thing Batman said to Robin before they got in the Batmobile Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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What did the man say to the ugly woman? Your face makes my penis soft.

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Q:Whats big, red and eats rocks? A: A big red rock eater

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What did Woody say to Buzz? A lot. There were three movies.

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How do you get a one-armed man out of a tree? you wave.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday, Popeyes has a special sale buy one get one free fried chicken. The chicken was like "Oh hell no, today's Tuesday? I'm funna get my feathery-asss out of here.." However, chickens do not know what day it is, nor do they care about being captured by humans. I also made up the part when the chicken began talking.

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Where did Sally go when the bomb hit her? Everywhere

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin... Nothing they are muffins.

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Wanna hear a joke? Yes Then go on the internet and find some jokes.

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whats black and hangs from my tree a plum

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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