Why didn't the man laugh at his son's joke? Because he was born without a mouth.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Nazi Nazi who? I am the mailman. I nazi your mailbox. Can I leave the letters on the front porch?

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I could even argue that having blood on your penis is kinda fun sometimes.

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Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I stabbed someone in my garden, There's blood everywhere

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What is worse than being ran over by a bus? Nothing really.

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what did the kid with no legs gat for her birthday? A soccer ball! I feel bad for this young girl.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? Because she has no arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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Three people walk into a bar. Eight people follow them. They all go back to Bob's house, except Anna, Jimmy, and Joe. TImes the amount of people going to Bob's house by four. Thats how many people get arrested at the end of the night. How many people aren't arrested? Do you even know why you read this? Get a life and go to an actual bar, a party and get arrested.

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why did the small boy drop his ice cream ? because he has no hands

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Whats worse than dropping your apple? The Japanese earthquake!

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Whats worse than having a parking cone rammed up your ass? Realizing that a big orange cone is up your ass.

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Q) Why did Anti-joke start this webpage? A) Probably to make people laugh. and to show some irony in a few common jokes.

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What's small, cold, and lifeless? A dead baby.

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Rabid squirrels attacked Blake's face as winged pickles perched on Phoebe's hair.

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There were 3 men on a rough each granted one wish to make. The first guy sees a bird and runs and jumps off the ledge and wishes to be a bird and he flies away. The second guy sees a butterfly so he too runs and jumps off the ledge and wishes to be a butterfly and flies away. The third guy telling himself those were all stupid wishes, makes up his mind what he is going to wish for so he runs to the ledge and just after he says "I wish to be" he trips on the ledge and says, "shit!" So his wish was granted and shit he became. The End.

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why was justin sad? his family was murdered

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Why didn't the tv turn on? It wasn't plugged in

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What time is it? 10:58

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A duck flies to someone's backyard pool. Moments later it takes a dump , then suddenly flies away.

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Whats the difference between peanut butter and jam? I can't peanut butter my dick into someones ass

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What is the difference between a rabbit and a plum? A: They are both purple, except for the rabbit!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? I've often heard that a room with a million monkeys with a million typewriters, given enough time; would eventually reproduce the complete works of Shakespeare. This seems to suggest that if something has an extremely low chance of happening, it will still eventually happen if enough attempts are made. However, I feel that the aforementioned scenario, given enough time to play out, would only result in a room full of dead monkeys. Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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What's black, white, and red all over? A white man's bleeding cancerous tumor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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