A blind man walks into a bar. He cannot read the drink menu.

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Because you killed my Llama. He was my best-friend.

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Whats worse than losing your keys? Your entire family dying in a preventable house fire.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're adopted.

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you better accept "balls in yo mouf"...

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Yo mama so short she often has to ask you to retrieve items from the top shelf of her cabinet.

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have you seen the movie, Constipated? Never mind, it hasn't come out yet.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Shut up.

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Where does the king keep his armies? In a variety of military barracks and bases situated around his kingdom where they are ready to be deployed for combat or peacekeeping operations.

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Obama

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what you say to the kid that just hit puberty? your a young man

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-rick:hey wut happens wen i pull this pin -jerry:rick no!!!!! rick then starts to cry as he remembers the tragic accident that caused his friends death,which rick caused

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Knock Knock Who's There? Boo Boo Who? Boo Smith, I'm the town rapist.

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out, what are you inside? American! What are you, a communist?

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What is 9 inches long, the same colour as my skin, and makes my girlfriend gag when I shove it down her throat? Her Miscarriage.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill. Jill was dehydrated.

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Oxygen and magnesium are going out OMG Think science the you might get it If not O oxygen mg magnesium

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An alcoholic walks into a bar. He is destroying his family.

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Johnny has 30 pints of ice cream. He eats 25 pints. What does Johnny have? Diabetes. Johnny has diabetes.

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Yo mamas so fat that she slowly had developed obstructive sleep apnea syndrome and had died due to an obstruction of her upper airway while she was sleeping.

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Why was the old lady hard of hearing? She spent many of her young days blasting hard rock from her speakers/

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How did Hellen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room.

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Why couldn't the ten-year-old get into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-13

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Everyone is special in there own ways except for patrick whos demented

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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