How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartenders asks "Why the long face?"

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How do you kill a cancer patient? Throw a fridge at him.

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When life gives you ponies... get a new life!

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How do you confuse a blonde? I guess the same way you confuse someone of any other hair color.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Donald Trump Donald Trump who? I already told you my full name. You're fired!

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

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Whats funnier than a pile of dead babies nothing child abuse is not a funny matter.

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Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair? She had dementia.

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knock knock who's there? a murder who? a murder who kills you and your family.

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The adventures of Helen Keller:

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Q. What do cows and grass have in common? A. They both moo, except for grass ????????????

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A man walked into a store and asked if he could use the restroom. They found this acceptable and let him use it.

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy, I am pregnant and that's yo baby !

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how do you get a clown off a swing??? hit him in the back with an ax!

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Whats worse than than falling in a puddle on the way to a meeting? Getting shot while your at that meeting.

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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A black man walks into a bar and a white man says "we don't allow coloured men in here". the black man sighs and walks out, wondering what he ever did wrong, and makes his way to the liqour store, to buy some beer to drown his sorrows over his mothers death. On the way, a racist white man shoots and kills him. Then, at his funeral, someone makes the joke "Wow, how ironic. The black guy was the victim.."

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What is worse then dying of testicular cancer? Living of testicular cancer and having one amputated?

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Phil sees a hitchhiker wandering past his car on the sidewalk. He asks Phil if he can take him to his house, and Phil says no, and keeps driving. Six seconds later the hitchhiker is crossing the street in search of somebody else, when he is hit by a bus and dies.

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There once was an X from place B, Who satisfied predicate P, Then X did thing A, In a specified way, Resulting in circumstance C.

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as i unscrewed my belly button and suddenly my butt fell off

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What do you call a baby with no arms or legs? You call a lawyer, and be sure to have him ask the mother if she took Thalidomide during pregnancy.

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I met a fat girl and fucked her on an elevator. . . It was wrong on so many levels.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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