Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call a person with no eyes, ears, or mouth? Helen Keller

thumb_up thumb_down -23

why did the chicken cross the road? it didnt it got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the ocean say to the other ocean????? What Nothing they just waved ???? Oh Do you sea what I did there ???? No I'm shore you did ???? By Erin

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Phil sees a hitchhiker wandering past his car on the sidewalk. He asks Phil if he can take him to his house, and Phil says no, and keeps driving. Six seconds later the hitchhiker is crossing the street in search of somebody else, when he is hit by a bus and dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because it saw some food, or because it felt threatened on the side of the road it was already on.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: The chicken saw greater opportunities to find food on the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why would someone smile at a tumble weed? I don't know, it's an inanimate object.And is ugly Just like the couch in the basement in That 70's Show.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What is the difference between a bench and a black man? It is socially acceptable to sit on a bench to eat your lunch. If you did so to a black man you would probably be arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

yo mamma so fat that when she goes out in high heels she comes back in flip flops

thumb_up thumb_down +17

My wife's star sign was cancer and it's quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A man stand's on a chair Then he fall's off

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did Helen Keller name her dog? Due to Helen Keller's disabilities she wasn't able to own an animal. If she did have a dog, it would be named spot because that was a popular pet name in that period of time.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A guy walks into a bar, orders a beer, pays, and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the chicken cross the road? To avoid the avoid the nuclear bomb at hiroshima

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A Muslim walks into a bar. BOOM

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Roses are red, Violets are blue. A family is tied-up and screaming for help in my basement.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he is no longer alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the black man die of leukemia? Overexposure to radioactive materials due to his career as a nuclear engineer.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock knock? Who's there? Why don't you answer the damn door and find out for yourself?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

do you know what Noah didn't bring on his arc? unicorns

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why do Mexicans get made fun of? Because they are Mexican

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops