Why was the dentist sent to jail? Because he committed a crime.

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Q: Why is Santa's sack so big? A: Because he only cums once a year

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I found out I had asthma earlier today. I was breathless.

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Gays

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was being chased by a coyote that hadn't eaten in several days.

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What did the homosexual get for Christmas off his boyfriend? A lovely present off his loving partner.

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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What's even funnier than 24? A clown in a tree.

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what do you call an astrounaut in space? an astrounaut you racist bastard

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Why did the beachball get sad after it was deflated? Beachballs don't have emotions.

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What do you get when you mix a burrito and an earthworm? Diaherea

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Hypothetical questions are a waste of time and you are not achieving your full potential by reading this during work.

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When do you call 911? When you need help with do something that you either can't do alone or can't control

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You know whats funny? Matty Broom.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Did you hear the joke about the deaf mail man? No. Neither did he.

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Did you hear about the new brand of shovel? Yeah, it's pretty groundbreaking.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a cannibal and like to burn people.

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Why did the black man break a woman's ribs? Cardiovascular resuscitation is an emergency procedure often used outside of hospitals to revive unconscious individuals before medical professionals are able to intervene. Sometimes having your life saved comes at a cost.

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A man walks into a bar After months of rehab he is giving in to his drinking abuse again and will ruin his life as well as his family

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Why wouldn't anyone want Helen Kellers dog? It's been buried for a long time...

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your mom likes dick and so do you

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Whats green and smells like a red apple? A green apple

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops