How do you get 4 Jews in a car? Open the door and tell them politely to get in.

Throw your crépe right into an ocean Where an octopus can get it in all the commotion With the crépe and the ocean and the oc-to-pus

Why did you not just "put a spell" on her instead? And you are totally mean, ever actually killed someone?

4/20.

How do you rape someone? No, its a question. I don't know the best way to go about this.

Why are apples cheaper than lemons? Because you have to pay less money then lemons to buy them

How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Mice don't have the strength required to do that.

She is so fast We call her Email Instead of Emily...

Two construction workers are working on the final floor of what will soon be the worlds tallest building. The first turns to the other and says: "Hey tom can you throw me a three quarters hex wrench? i think my set is metric." the second guy turns around and says: "yea, here you go."

a

Q-What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? A-Where's my tractor?

whats worse than the holocaust? 2 holocausts. whats worse than 2 holocausts? i rotten banana. whats worse than a rotten banana? 2 rotten bananas.

Joe Alfon walkes into hell, The devil say: " hi" And joe burns to death

50 gay man and a homophobe are in a nightclub in Florida ...you know how the rest goes.

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

Guy 1: So who did you have sex with? Guy 2: I was Fucking Austria. Guy 1: What do you mean? Guy 2: Look it up.

What did the chocolate milk say? Yoo-hoo.

What's red and green and goes 100mph? A frog in a vehicle on the Autobahn.

42

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven threatened six's family after insinuations of seven being a cannibal.

Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

What is a pedophile's favorite thing about twenty-six year olds? There are 20 of them.

Did you hear about that creepy guy on Facebook? He was un-friended

What do you can a Brazilian woman wearing a bikini? It depends on the case, but usually Brazilian women are named "Maria", "Ana", "Júlia" and many others kinds of names, with their root being hispanic, portguese and latin lenguages. Respectively, the names quoted have the English translation being "Mary", for Maria, "Anne", for Ana, and July, for Júlia.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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