She look like Ms. Universe and I'm bout to be in that black hole

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Wife: Where were you all night. Husband: Cheating on you with your sister

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What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck!

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whats shaped like a tree. A tree.

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A man asks his friend "what's black, blue, and red all over?" He repiles, "Nothing, because I'm colorblind."

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Hi

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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why did the chicken cross the road? becuase he wanted to walk and the road was the only available place to do so

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I was thinking... Love conquers all right? Remember the epic crying video? Satan: Because... Some where deep inside... I still love you... God:BUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHAAAAUuuuaaaahhh... (Partially invisible effect hand of Satan pats God on the back) The universe is at peace with no opposing forces and I am Nerometal, not that asshole that claims to have one fist and is the leader of some sect, I am and will always be the original Moralman, my name simply happens to be Nero, and thats it, so I am not dissing the bible, why would I none of my business literally, but if love can be tha powerful eh?

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what did the white singer say to the black rapper? I would like to do a song with you seeing as how we have 2 separate audience types i believe this would prove the song to be successful

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What do you call one white guy surrounded by 10 BIG black guys? The most common NFL Offence

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Q: What's worse than a paper cut? A: 9/11

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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why do rednecks wear big belt buckles? it's a tombstone for a dead dick:)

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

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What did the little boy get from his visit to Penn State? Raped.

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Nope, I mean you can try, but my phone is busted and the code on the chip my galpal here managed to finally get into the cell, has sixteen digits so damn small that none of us can read it,

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because it's head's so far from his body.

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What’s the difference between a frog and a duck? One is a frog and one is a duck.

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This is on of those few moments where my guts and attitude leave me feeling as if the entire world is against me... ...Then I cant help but to smirk and think... The world against me? Finally a worthy challenge... Such a great day... Nero because fuck morals: Friends and not so friends do not call me Black Metal because I listen to power rock, my mother high on drugs attacked my wife claiming she was Satan, I killed my angel dust empowered mother, felt as if the world was against me... ...Such a great day... "I killed my father too but you dont hear me whining about it!" And of course... ...Rest in pieces oh "dear" mother", at least you did one good thing, you gave birth to your undertaker, while I killed you to end my lifelong misery, My only regret is ending yours... Now I request you all think I am a monster and pretend we live in a world where all parents are nice and good... You already deluded yourself? Perhaps you should thumb me up instead then.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Due to Helen Keller's disabilities she wasn't able to own an animal. If she did have a dog, it would be named spot because that was a popular pet name in that period of time.

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They say under Chuck Norris's beard, is just a chin.

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a man texted his wife saying "hey sexy, how was your day?(;" unfortunately, she never replied because she got in a cr accident and died from texting while driving.

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What do you call a group of white guys playing basketball in Philadelphia? Actually, that already seems like a pretty good summary of the situation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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