Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Green paint.

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What does the Bill in Bill Clinton stand for? Bilious.

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Erica is so sexy i want to hump her

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A man walks into kindergarden class with a beer. He then gets arrested.

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As I sat waiting for the doctor to return with my final prognosis, I began contemplating my own mortality. Looking inside myself, one question continued to haunt me: “What’s the X-ray technician going to do when he walks in and sees me messing with the equipment?”

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A baby elephant steps on a lego. First thought, auch, huh ?! Actually, the lego was fine with it and so was the baby elephant. Now they're married and are expecting a baby legophant.

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What to you call a Muslim person on a plane? A passenger

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Q:What type of cheese isn't yours? A:NACHO CHEESE!!!!!!!!!

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Some poems have endings

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A rabi a priest and a gay guy are praying. The rabi says amen the priest says amen the gay guy says ahh men.

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Me: What's the difference between a zebra and a slice of cheese? You: I don't know Me: Me neither

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How many theropists does it take to change a lightbulb? -only one, but it takes a very long time and the lightbulb has to want to change.

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. Deez nuts Ok

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what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

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You are walking down the street, and a man keeps on getting in your way. You want to politely... Screw it already and stab him in the back

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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Ronan Parke, making Justin Bieber look straight since 2009

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what did the girl say after her boyfriend proposed? she said no because they've still got a lot of stuff to deal with before they even consider getting married and he seriously needs to get a job and dump his other girlfriend.

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Whats the difference between a Corvette and 1000 dead babies? I don't have a Corvette in my garage.

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What do you call a dead guy under the ocean? Murder.

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Wife: Does this make me look fat? Husband: Honey, your already fat.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Alan okay come in

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? I raped your mom and she swallowed my load, k

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there were three men in a car, Poop, Shut Up, and Manners. They were driving in a truck when poop fell out of the car. Manners went to get him. Shut Up parked somewhere that he wasn't supposed to so the police man came to him. He asked him what his name was and he said "Shut Up" because that was his name. The police man said "Where are your manners?" then Shut Up said,"He went to go scoop up poop".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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