What's just not right? Left

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Where do cows go to have fun? Cows don't have a concept of fun as such, but they would probably go to a large, sunny field full of lush, green grass with a bubbling river and plenty of shade.

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Q. What's brown and sticky? A. A stick.

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whats green and has wheels? grass i lied about the wheels

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"Really, how is your wife?" "You know she's dead right?" "Cool mine too!" They high five in mid air and lived happily ever after

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Q. What do you get when you put a Jew and Adolf Hitler in the same room? A. Trouble

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What do you call a giraffe without a neck? Dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there happened to be road in the vicinity of the fowl and the odds of the bird crossing it is very high.

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Why was the little boy reluctant to approach his father? Because his father was a rotting corpse.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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A man walks into a bar. He enjoys a few quiet drinks with friends before returning home to his loving family.

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How did 6-year old dyslexic boy start his essay on soap? Sopa is shit...

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Two scientists walk into a bar. One says "I'll have H20", the other says "I'll have a beer." The first one is the one to drive them to their homes.

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We start counting at 1, therefore 0 is countless. I've slept with countless women.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had just received a call from his family, hearing that his father had just been butchered. He was approaching the farm when an 18-wheeler approached. The tire flew off, hit a candy store, candy flew in the chicken's mouth, and it died of diabetes. However, right before the chicken died he finally crossed the road, not knowing he would get shot by his farmer. The chicken managed to survive the shooting to his right kidney, wiggled to his family, and died in front of his wife.

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--Knock Knock Who's there? --Banana Banana who? --Knock Knock You just said that --Sorry i have Alzheimer's

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What did Osama bin Laden say to Jesus? Nothing. He's in hell.

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It may be Stupid but its also Dumb. ~Patrick Star

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to KFC for his job interview

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MATH: if for every 1 minute for billy is 5 minutes and every 5 minutes is an hour than billy is on acid and needs to come down.

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What did the apple say to the pear? Fred, you are going insane and i'm getting a divorce.

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Why did the girl with a striped ball fall over? She was a victim of a drive-by shooting.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It doesn't matter. He was hit by a bus.

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless your father is a doctor and you live with him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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