Blonde: Where's the ice? Asian: In the freezer.

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Where was Susie when the bomb exploded? Everywhere

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Why couldn't the man get a job at the daycare? Because he was a serial killer/rapist.

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Peaches eat leaches, that is why sneaches live on beaches.

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What happens when you go swimming in the rain? You get wet.

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Your mother is so fat she sometimes eats a normal sized portion of food and does not feel satisfied

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How did the black guy get out of prison? Further evidence in the case was found which proved that the black guy was actually donating blood to a local blood drive for children with leukemia.

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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A horse walks into a bar... it was accompanied by a blind man for it was a seeing eye pony and the bartender who was not tolerant to blind people turned away the man causing him to recieve dirty glances from the kindly patrons of the bar.

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Ask me if my names Troy. Is your name troy? No, it's Roy.

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Y did the first squarl fall out of the tree? It died Y did the 2nd squarl fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first Y did the 3rd squarl fall out of the tree? Peer presure. Why did bobby fall off his bike? He got hit by 3 squarls Y did bobby die? He got run over by a truck:)

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Yo mama's so fat she needed a toilet that had a bigger seat (just like me)

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A Muslim walks into a bar. No-one survived the blast.

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why do rednecks wear big belt buckles? it's a tombstone for a dead dick:)

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If a tree falls on a deaf person, does anyone care?

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What did the starving african child get for his birthday Ebola

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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Q. Why can’t a teacher lift weights? A. Because, most teachers are women and most women do not enjoy It.

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? She had no arms and legs Knock knock Who's there? Not Lucy

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connor sucks

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What's the difference between a dead dog and a dead black man on the road? One's a dog and one is a man, but more importantly the differences shouldn't be noted in a miserable occasion such as this as both are unfortunate tragedies. Also, one has a big penis.

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What did dyslexic Old McDonald say? . . . I have a learning disability that impairs my fluency and comprehension accuracy in being able to read and spell

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the asian kid gets an F

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Q:Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree A: No

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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