An old lady walks into a bar. She was the janitor.

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Why did the black man get the grape soda? It was the only soda left.

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There once was this guy and he fell down

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Why is Joel always with Jamie? Because her incorrectly positioned eyes prevent her from seeing the true Joel.

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Why was the kindergartener crying in the corner? His family was poor and his father abused him.

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What do you get when you cross a dead monkey, a chair fitted with wheels for use as a means of transport by a person, Isaac Newton & the creator of the website? Stephen Hawking.

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When life gives you lemonade, give life lemons and it'll be like WTF?!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He had no conscience and therefore was not able to backup the very reason that he crossed the road.

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What did the banana say to the other banana? We're both marshmallows

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How many gays does it take to change a lightbulb? It's COMPLETELY circumstantial.

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Jesus once got nailed to a cross, beaten and gave his life in order to prove he was immortal. Safe to say, people remain impressed even 2000 years later. Moral: Lol, hey, its quite a feat, but what life did he give if he was immortal? Jesus is a okay dude though, he stole donkeys from stables (for transport) and when his disciples asked if stealing was bad he replied: God will provide for them. Awesome.

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What did the old man say to the young man? Nothing, the old man was dead.

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if dave has 50 candy bars and eats 45 what does he have? diabeties.

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Q: What do you call a black man's dead bodie? A: A corpse.

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Then help me understand Nero, people had the free and legal right to decide to be a part of our, or your society if you prefer, where has that option gone now? Where is the people that choose to believe in their own potential and in the one of their equals? Today we live in a society where its basically pop culture to dislike oneself, where it is considered narcissism to like oneself, and you know that we have both been affected, while those we considered allies before, have joined the same people that branded us evil.

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he's not gonna come

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Whats red and looks like a bucket? -a red bucket Whats blue and looks like a bucket? -a red bucket disguised as a blue bucket

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69

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What do you call an armless legless man swimming? Dead

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Why did the computer explode into a million peices? It was thrown off the Empire State building.

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Why did the gambling addict go into the casino? To use the bathroom

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Your mother is such a whore that she has consensual sex with a lot of people...

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Roses are red Violets are blue Elephants cant jump Neither can amputees

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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