Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Why are there no Jews in hell? Because Hitler is there,

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A man walks into a bar and the barenter says, "What'll it be?" The man says, "I'll take a Bud Light."

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Why did the old man get wet even though he was using an umbrella? Because it didn't save from falling off the bridge.

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Why didn't the cat have any legs? Because it was a snake

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What did the boy tell the girl at recess? An anti-joke

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Two cannibals were eating a clown. Good.

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you are driving down the highway, if two birds make a bee then how many pies can fly at once? None because I can't read

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw a lightbulb? None, they couldn't cross the border.

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Q: If your 17 year-old-daughter is a drug addict, how many cartwheels are you going to have to do to make it to Georgia? A: The French Revolution, because your grandmothers facebook shows an 11 year-old selling Concords to a green alien, which can only mean that over 600 people watch pórn daily.

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Q: If Ann has 5 apples and she gives Michael 2 apples, and then Jason comes and rapes Ann. How many apples does Ann have left? R: Who the hell cares, she needs to go to the police.

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A horse walks into a bar. It trips over a barstool, breaks it's leg, and is butchered and turned into canned dog food.

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What do you say to a cashier? How much is it?

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If a Cheetah and Usain bolt raced in the Olympics who would win? Obviously Usain hes black and cheetahs can't perform in the olympics

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What is the longest sentence that a man knows? If it is used it in context, isn't round and the speaker attempts to quote the whole number - or at least all of it known to date, then any sentence involving the value of pi.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, floating in the ocean? A victim of the increasingly violent Mexican drug cartels.

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Whats the difference between a car and a dead child? I don't have a dead baby in my basement.

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What is 2 + 2? 3 LOL

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What's the difference between? Your mom.

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Why did the man say ow? He got his dick caught in his zipper.

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Q: Why did the plane crash into a mountain? A: The pilot was a tomato.

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fart+fart=poop

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I have a door you don't have to say, knock knock.

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What's 9+ 10?! 19

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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