Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

Q: Who won the fight of two black guys and a white guy? A: The black and white guy because two is better than one.

What is the best thing about chuck norris? hes holding a gun to my hea

A girl asks a guy "How come you don't take me dancing anymore?" The guy said "Because we were both killed in a car accident."

Yo mama is so ugly that the devil warships her.

How do you get a black kid to sleep? A cup of warm milk and maybe a lulluby should do it.

If you can dodge a traffic, that probably has little or no relation to how well you can dodge a ball.

What is green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

Yo Mumma so dumb she has to climb over a glass wall to see whats on the other side.... Yo Mumma's so fat when she walked past the tv she made me miss 5 series... Yo Mumma's so fat when god said let there be light she had to move out of the road. That's nearly all that I have, but if u have one leave it in the comment

What did the black girl say when sho dropped her phone? Oh crap, I dropped my phone.

What do you call a man with no penis? WOahMan! O_o

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

What glows in the dark and is really annoying? A glow in the dark chimpanzee

God hates fags, no...god i'snt real

Jimmy can't drive the tractor. Why can't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he's a patato

Lizzy doesnt shave or shower. She just went to the bathroom in the middle of the school hallway

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor

How many dead babies does it take to paint a room? This is impossible as dead babies are incapable of achieving such a feat.

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Why did the little boy cry regularly? Because his father was sexually abusive.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's And add extra pepperoni

Roses are red Violets are blue Today is Valentines Day I am depressed

why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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