You wanna hear a funny joke? Sorry, but I'm really not a funny guy. Not a comedian, you know.

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How do you get a clown off of a swing? You throw an axe at its face.

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What's funnier than 68? Will ferrel

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What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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What do you call cheese that's mine? My cheese

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A hasidic Rabbi and a member of Hezbollah enter a bar in a Jewish settlement. (No, of course they didn't.)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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What's the same between a plum and a rabbit? They are both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Whats big, yellow and red? a school bus with a bunch of dead children.

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Knock Knock Who's there? A mormon *slam*

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Hey, austin, what are you doing?

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A doctor, a farmer, and a blonde walk into a bar. The doctor orders red wine because he knows it's good for the heart. The farmer orders a Piña Colada because he likes fruit. The two men wait eagerly to what the blonde is about to order. The blonde opens her purse and says "Damn it, I can't find my credit card." Suddenly, a handsome young gentleman walks up to her says "Don't worry miss, I'll buy a drink for you. What are you having?" The blonde looks up and says "Don't worry? I just lost my credit card!" In a fit a of anger, the blonde storms out the bar and doesn't order anything.

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Why isn't the dog a rebublican? Because it's a dog.

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A Horse walks into a bar. Bartender:why the long face? Horse:I have terminal cancer.

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Why did the little girl fall to death? Because pigs can't fly. It's impossible.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because 2.5 million children in the world are suffering from HIV/AIDs.

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hi, my name is zack, i have a boner from the girl to my right(;

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"Hey ask me if i'm fat" "Are you fat" "Leave me alone"

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a boy walked into a pet store to get his bird some food. they were all out. the bird died.

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How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? depends on how thin you can slice them.

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What did the black father get his child for Christmas? A Yo-Yo. Actually, never-mind, he doesn't know his father.

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Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops