hey i just met you and this is crazy but hears my number so call me maby .....7 days

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There once was an X from place B, Who satisfied predicate P, Then X did thing A, In a specified way, Resulting in circumstance C.

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what is worse than a hole in your sock? Getting raped

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what is white and red all over? a ginger

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What's worse than having embaracing parents? A: they are of the same sex

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartenders says, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because horses do not comprehend English. He then becomes startled by his surroundings and bolts out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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A man walked into a bar. He was treated at the local hospital with a minor contusion.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Joe Barkley. Joe Barkley who? ...

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what do you find at the top of mountains? things

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Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Have you seen the size of their fingers!?!?!

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What's funny and old? I really do'nt know

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Why was the number 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't.

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This is a funny anti-joke. But you probably don't get it.

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Why does my friend pick up trash? Because he is a garbageman

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Why did the man go to the restaurant? Because he wanted to get some food.

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What's the difference between a duck and male black prostitute? The duck is says quack

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What did one tampon say to another? Nothing they were both stuck up.

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Q: What's black and blue and red all over? A: I'm not sure. If it's red all over, it's not going to be black or blue.

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I don't often drink beer, but when I do, I make the poor decision to attempt to drive while intoxicated, kill a pedestrian, and end up in jail with a hangover, a DUI, and an account of vehicular homicide. Don't drink and drive simultaneously.

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Knock knock. ... There was no reply because the resident was on holiday.

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Q:What did the turtle say to the jaguar? A: Well, a turtle and a jaguar live in totally different habitats, turtles live in water while jaguars live in grasslands, so it would be unlikely for them to cross paths and communicate. Turtles and jaguars are unable to speak and, if a jaguar were to talk to a turtle, the turtle would be unable to make out words because turtles can only pick up vibrations. And, they would have nothing to talk about.

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A blonde's house is on fire so she calls the fire department and they ask her how to get there. She gives them the address, but they hear her wrong and she dies a horrible fiery death.

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Two great white sharks are swimming in the ocean together, one turns to the other to speak, but doesn't because sharks can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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