Roses are blurry so is everything else I need glasses

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A man walks into a bar and says Ouch.

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Nero, I understand, what I thought was correct, was to teach people to understand those exact words that you are conveying. Its not that, I am afraid of showing the world the man that I am. But rather that I am not a man, I admire your vision, and tried to follow it, as we got much in, common, I can think as an individual and still admire your work. But you know how society is built, if too many find out I am a woman, then that not only reveals that I have been lying to them, which I have, but also that well, women are not exactly seen as equals, I know I never was, all people ever saw in me was "a great pair of tits".

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Why w\s the English man, the French man, the German man, the Indian man, the Chinese man, the Irish man, the American man and the russian man all on a train together? They where going to the olympics.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -John. -Hey John, come on in.

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Your mums so stupid. She bought an apple for 35p even though the shop across the road sells them for 34p

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Barack Obama

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Why was the boy sad? I don't know, ask him.

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Why did the little girl cross the road??? To get away from the strange man

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Why did Janelle fail her math test? Because she didn't study.

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how does an elephant ask for a bun? may i please have a bun?

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Did you hear about the Polish Helicopter crash? The pilot and three passengers died.

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Q: What is worse than loosing your arms? A: Dying

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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Two gay men enjoy a wonderful second date together.

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What did the homless man get for Christmas? Nothing

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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How do you kill a vampire? Because vampires are figments of society's imagination and actuall living creatures, this task is impossible.

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what did chloe say to alexis? you took my phone

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What's good about having alzheimers? You meet new people every day!

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Why was the young Jewish boy afraid at camp? Because his scoutmaster is a pedophile.

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What did the mentally retarded man say to the Waiter who brought him his soup? Thanks for bringing me my soup.

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Why is it impossible to travel faster than the speed of light? Because it travels pretty darn fast.

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Wanna hear a bathroom joke? YOU TRYIN' TO KILL US?!?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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