I just flew in from New York and boy are my arms tired. I was jerking off during the entire plane ride.

Why was the old lady hard of hearing? She spent many of her young days blasting hard rock from her speakers/

What do u call a banana? A banana......

whats the difference between you're mom and you're dad none there both the same

Why did the man fall off of his bike? He was hit by a car and died in a tragic accident.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz he does what he wants.

what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

There once was a man from Nantucket, but he's dead.

I had a friend named Joshua, he died of AIDs, cancer, and several other diseases.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't know where I am, I'm blind.

An elephant walks up to a camel and says why have you got a pair if boobs on your back, the camel the replies that's a funny question coming from someone with a dick on their face.

what do you call and man that has a twitch every time someone say tissue broken arm, leg, hand, collar bone and there iphone? A mentally and physically demented man that needs serious help from a psychotherapist otherwise matter would get increasingly worse

Two cannibals were eating a clown. Good.

Roses are red. Violets are black. Why is your chest, As flat as my back?

What do you call a moose with a 12 gauge shotgun bullet through it's head? Open Season

How do you stop a black guy from drowning? You take your foot off of his face

So I was walking down the road today

A man, a dog and a pregnant woman walked into a bar, the man bought a beer, the dog was put back outside as the pub didn't allow animals and the pregnant woman didn't buy anything alcoholic as she didn't want to risk the life of her unborn child-she had a soda.

Do gingers have souls ? No, Gingers are a myth made up in the 13th centuary to scare little kids.

What items don't float? A school bus full of children

What did the little boy get for Christmas? Presents.

Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

Why did the penguin die? due to an increase in the quantity of greenhouse gases that are being released into the atmosphere, global warming is on the rise. So the penguin died because his home melted.

Michal j. fox has Parkinsons disease. He is tired of losing at jenga

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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