Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Whats red and you can't see it? No Tomatoes

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Why did the pedophile get arrested? He was driving way over the speed limit.

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Which is the smallest? A. Jupiter B. Whale C. Cow D. Bracelet Answer: D

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How do you save Africa. Put a rash of bacon in and envelope.

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What is Justin Bieber + One less lonely girl. A BABY

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What stinks of shit and has money. Smelly Mc Dee I lied about the money.

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A cat walks into a bar and says.......Meow

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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My dad said that if I post anymore jokes on this website, the will hit my head against the keyboaaskdnaji;nsd;asdnasd;

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What do you get when you combine High Fructose corn syrup. sunflower oil, carbohydrates, and water. How the heck should I know!

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Why did the chicken run across the road? It was 9/11

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black. I am blind.

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Roses are red Cranberries are tart It sure stinks when you fart

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Wanna hear a funny joke? Women's rights.

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why did the baby cross the road? he was stapled to the chicken

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How do you know you're on a blind date with a black person? If they agree to eat at KFC in Compton (Wyndellberg)

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A man walks into a bar. He is knocked unconscious, and passers-by rush to his aid.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Beluga Whale walk into a bar. The Priest says: "Well because today is a holy holiday, I'll take a glass of white wine to celebrate." The Rabbi says: "Well, because today I have to kindle thy sacred light, I'll have a glass of merlot." The Beluga Whale then says: "Ooooooooorrrrooooooommmmmmmm....."

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What do the duck and elephant have in common?? Nothing, they are completely different species.

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ew. I wouldn't sleep with you if you were the last man on earth! ...that's what she said!

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You know what's a real drag? A club foot

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What do your friends have in common with a tree? They both fall down when you hit them multiple time with an axe

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. "Where's my tractor?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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