So I was sitting in the doctor's when I noticed a guy sitting about two seats down, wearing a sombrero and pouring salt over himself. Then I found out I had cancer and promptly lost all interest in him.

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How many fingers am i holding up? 4

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Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius!

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A blind guy was reading the newspaper, it said flying cars. I bet he did'nt see that coming!

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A blonde walks into a bar; she orders and enjoys her drink and then leaves with her thirst quenched.

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Did I tell you about the day I put PaulMckenna on a hypnotic state so he believed he put me in a trance? That was fun, everybody applauded, then he got sad when it was not him they where applauding at, funny guy, a bit of an amateur, he spends hours "priming" people in a hypnotic state, and then in his videos triggers it so it makes it seem like he does it instantly, next to Igor Ledohowsky and Richard Bandler, I might just be one of the best and youngest hypnotists alive. Speaking of which, my wife knows the complicated yet strong feelings I got for you, and feels safe around me because of the same reasons you do, and the fact that I can spot a worry and a tear before people do, especially those I love and care about. Wait I am not done, I just need to eat before I space out.

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Man 1: HEY DUDE! Man 2: Go shoot yourself

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Q. How did the blind man cross the road A. By an abmulance which took him to the hospital because his first attempt to cross was unsuccessful and the hospital was conventeintly located on the other side of the road.

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Who let the dogs out? The dog's owner.

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A man runs into a psychiatrist's office and screams, "You gotta help me doc! I just killed seven people in my office building!"

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A; On the other side was another beautiful looking chicken who he plans to marry and raise a family with.

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What happened to the man who posted yet another repeated joke on anti joke? Nothing. He posted an old joke that everyone has seen a form of already.

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Your moms so fat, she needed repruductive surgury.

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Roses are Black, Violets are Black, I am Ray Charles

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What do you call a person with no eyes? Blind.

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Harry to Voldemort: Your mother is so fat, her patronus is a cake!

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How do you get a clown to get off a swingset? Chop off his arms and legs.

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how do goldfishes drown? you pull them backward water fills there lung and there die

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There are 2 muffins in an oven One of the muffins says to the other 'Jeez it's hot in here' Then the other muffin replied, 'OH MY GOD IT'S A FRICKEN TALKING MUFFIN!!!!!!!!

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What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? They are both purple except for the rabbit.

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What causes floods? Too much water.

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What do you call a black man, an asian man, and a white man walking down the street? 3 men walking down the street.

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Why doesn't Lucinda have a penis? Because she's Mexican.

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what did the man see in the mirror? Nothing, he was blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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