What did the Jew do before the movie? He turned off his cell phone.

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Knock Knock The homeowner's acquaintance had called him just minutes prior because he had forgotten something at his house. With this having occurred, the homeowner had a strong sense of who was at the door. Being a cautious person however, he checked his prediction by examining the man through the door's peephole. Having asserted that it was what he had in mind, the homeowner opened the door and handed him some papers that were of importance to the acquaintance.

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4 black men wearing ski masks and stripped jumpers kicked my door open and ran into my house knocking over and breaking things. They then realised this was not their friends house, apologised, paid for the damaged and left for the fancy dress party.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

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Boy: Hey girl if I had hand-cuffs, I’d lock myself to you right now! Girl: I would find that extremely creepy.

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Waht do chinease people and gambling machines have in common? They both say chink chink chink chink chink chinck

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Anti jokes gives me cold sores

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Hurricane sandy should have been named hurricane snooki because it ruined the jersey shore

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Why was the black man unemployed? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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Why was the girl crying? DEEZ NUTS!

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why did kyle and jake have sex? Because they were gay.

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What's black, white, and red all over? White on black homicide.

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A man walks into a bar and orders four shots. Before the bartender asks "If it really is that bad of a day". The man says "Yea I need this shit". The next day the bar is overwhelmed with police and investigators. The bartender had emptied a revolver in the tired business man's face and vanished.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was convicted of murder and rape

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What looks like mud, smells like mud and eats mud? An African

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What do you call a black guy doing community service? Someone who wanted to give back. Stop being racist.

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Q: How do you get a one armed blond of of a tree? A: You grab a ladder and help her down safely.

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What did little Timmy get for Christmas after he was diagnosed with leukemia? A gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond because he was interested in redecorating.

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Me: You know what's funnier than 24. Friend: 25? Me: No, 9/11

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Her doctor told her that if she didn't start watching her cholesterol she might suffer from heart related illness in the near future.

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A baby walks into a bar and the bartender says.... Where is your mom?

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Why did 12 people die when they went to see The Dark Knight Rises movie premiere? Because they were shot and bled profusely resulting in quick, painful death.

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What did the man say to the duck? Nothing ducks don't talk.

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A blind man walks into a bar. The shopkeeper says, "the bar is nextdoor." The man walks out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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