Why did the parents order the 16 year old daughter to move out of Virginia? Because she lost her virginity

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Why did the man sit on the chair? Because he was tired of standing

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Why are female badgers more attracted to the smell of cheese than male badgers? I don't know. Ask Bill Snodgrass

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Want to hear a joke? ...you're straight.

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What's the easiest way to load dead babies into a tractor trailer? Pitchfork.

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HAHAH MY WORD IS HAPPY CLAPPY

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What did the bride do on her wedding day? Get married.

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Why don't chickens where pants? Cause they're animals,duh.

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What's better than winning the Paralympics? Having legs.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a grizzly bear in your apple

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Holocost jokes arent even that funny, Anne Frank-ly they annoy me.

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Gravity

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Call me Ishmael. Or don't. Well, you can, but I'm not forcing you. You could call me Steve or Bob, it's not really that important. I'm just around here anyway to tell about a huge white dick. A whale dick. A SPERM whale dick. Never mind. Or the guy whose obsessed with it. No, it's not what it sounds like. He just wants to stab it with his harpoon. Wait, that sounds even worse. Whatever. Anyway, call me Ishmael...

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guess what chicken butt

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Yeah, I know too, its as if "Omg he has not replied in 5 seconds something must be wrong", sorry about that. Not endorphin person? That cannot be too good.

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Your mother is so stupid that she claimed the pole ran into her.

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Why was little billy sad? He had a crouton stuck up his asshole.

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Why'd the cat have one eye? It got kicked by a goat.

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Q: What is Tarzan's favorite Christmas Carol? A: None. He was raised by gorillas, who are unlikely to have ever heard of Christmas.

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how do you make a plummer cry? you spell PLUMBER wrong

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A rooster is standing on top of a pointed bird house. He lays an egg. Which side does the egg fall, the left or the right? I don't care, I'm a vegetarian.

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Roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme but this one doesn't

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That awkward moment when you wonder why this person keeps stepping on you, and you realize that you’re a shoe.

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A White, a Black, and a Hispanic man walk into a bar. They sit down and have a nice conversation, tip their bartender and then leave.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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