How do you please a black person? Shower him with love and affection.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Crime doesn't pay. Sure it does

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Q. What did the 300 pound Asian get for Valentine's day A. A jetpack. Except for the fact that the previous sentence was an obvious lie making this whole joke irrelevant.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The pilot lacked flying skills and experience.

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A guy walks into a bar, and then is hit with the full force of all the things he never did in life, of how he wasted his younger years chasing a bigger paycheck rather than trying to live life, and all the love he wasted on people who didn't care about him. He begins to cry as his first drink arrives, and orders many more as the night passes. He loses his keys as he leaves and stumbles home in a drunken stupor, contemplating suicide.

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why does renee suk at tetris? i dont know thats why im asking

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Roses are red violets are blue I think you re stupid go eat a shoe

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven, or have you been in a wheelchair all your life?

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Did you hear about Helen Keller's dog? Neither did she.

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i have alzheimer's, so i forgot the punchline to this joke

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Sticks and stones may break my bones.

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A pirate walks in to a bar. The bartender notices he has a steering wheel in the front of his pants, so he says to the pirate, "you know you've got a steering wheel in your pants, huh?" The pirate responds, "Arrrrrrrrr, it's for me carrrrr."

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What did one pile of dirt say to the other pile of dirt?? You're dirty

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josh roberts got the d in geog

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What did the terminally sick child dream of? I dont know. He never woke up to tell me.

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Q: Why was the old man sad? A: Because he has a quarter super glued to the bottom of his foot

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Your mother is so ugly that nobody wants to date her because she is hideous.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because someone was chasing it.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your asshole.

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What did the doctor say to his dying patient? Shit happens.

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What do you call a black woman working at a bar? A Bartender. What do you call an asian woman working at a bar? A Bartender.

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Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He looks it up first to make sure he's got it right before dialing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get ran over.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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