A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

One girl said to her friends, "LOL guys wait for me." She ran to a pile of corpses. The girl was about to lose her sanity as she was in denial when her friends had died. She held hands of two of the corpses and smiled and pretended everything was ok.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Your landlord, clear out your stuff by tuesday"

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did the black guy say when after he jumped in the pool? Wow, its kinda chilly.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What was the pirates grade? Arrr That isn't a valid grade

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: if it takes a week to walk a fortnight how many pounds of oranges can you fit in a grapegruit. A: None, because there is no bones in ice cream

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why didn't the man show up for work on Monday? He gets Mondays off.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Q: What do you call a black woman who can't tell you who her baby daddy is? A: "Mam". Rape is a serious and painful crime, and the strength to raise a child on her own without her consent is worthy of respect.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Have you ever had sex with a woman (or several at once) and suddenly thought somethi... Moral: Nevermind, like you ever had sex! LOL!

thumb_up thumb_down -115

What did one retarded person say to another? asiuasdhfiusanklasndfkjlnknankjas

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock Knock, Whos there? a baby nailed to the wall Orgasim

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the bus driver lose his family in a car accident? Bc the little boy was seeking revenge

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Whats better then a guard llama two Guard llamas

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Someone said you sound like an owl Who?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A three-legged prostitute, a coal miner, and R. Kelly walk into an all-midget rendition of Stravinsky's Rite of Spring. The miner has a heart attack and dies. The concubine and the vocalist do nothing to help.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why was the blonde confused? because she was born with a low IQ making her mentally retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

"Knock Knock" "You know the doorbell is working?" "Oh, well, you know I'm here now. May I come in?" "Yes, have a cup of tea"

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are red Violets are red I'm bleeding quite profusely and should probably go to the hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? It's hard to say, as this number depends on a large number of factors including the average area covered by one lick, the pH of saliva, the solubility of Tootsie Pops, the temperature of both the saliva and the Tootsie Pop, and the amount of saliva deposited on the Tootsie Pop after each lick. This is not to mention all the manufacturing irregularities that may occur during production, and varying tongue shapes and solvency properties of saliva.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Guess what I saw... Wood, I'm a carpenter.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why is that chicken crossing the ro-..... oh, woops, he got run over by that truck...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q:Why did the black man shoot the white man? A:The black man happened to be extremely good at paintball.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What did the old man say to kid who was begging to his mommy? Shut up.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are Red ?And sometimes yellow ? My mother is mellow ? Billy you have cancer ?

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops