Why did Larry the Cable Guy say "Git R Dun"? Because he thought it was funny, and so did a bunch of other people for some reason.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the woman scream when she saw her brother? Because he had just come back from fighting in the Iraq war and she was extremely happy to see that he's alright

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Geuss what? Bob is wide awake and he likes strawberries but he didn't have any strawberries so he ate a hamburger but fred wanted a hamburger but bob ate it so he just ate bob but bob was wide awake so he saw fred eating him so he called the pigs to come and eat fred because pigs eat anything but the pigs had already eaten their daily freds so they ate bob because they hadn't already eaten their daily bob but fred had already eaten bob so they got angry at fred so they just ate him anyway but then they got fat so a wolf ate them but then some hunters killed the wolf and ate it so they are actually eating a hamburger because the wolf ate the pigs and the pigs ate fred and fred ate bob and bobb ate a hambuger but he actually likes strawberries.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Man 1: my wife has lovley perfume. She smells like a peppermint cream. Man 2: Yeah, I know, I spent eight hours shagging her last night.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How many women does it take to replace a light bulb? Please advise. Thanks, Holly

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the kid fall? He got pushed off of a building

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the terrorist do to the small village? Destroy it with a bomb vest.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Justin Bieber.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why was the guy tired? His titties were too big

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Skinny guy: Hey wanna hear a yo mama joke? Fat mother: Hey you wanna die?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why does Michael J Fox have such good handwriting? Through years of hardwork, perseverance, and rehabilitation.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A beautoful poem: Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun! gimme all your money!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I was raped by a giant scorpion...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the tissue dance? Because it had a boggie

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer? This would be unlikely to happen, as it would cut the story short.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Two Guys Walk into a bar, you would think one of them would've seen it

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a sheep? something to have sex with.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did Little Billy trip? Because I shot his foot off.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are red, violets are blue, i got a boner, from looking at you

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the boy with cancer cross the road? He was hoping to get hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

chuck norris will never have a heart attack because he has great cardiovascular health.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

ARGH! LADY THAT SNAKE BIT MY PECKER! YOU HAVE TO SUCK THE POISON OUT NOW! OMG SURE, err...Meh, thats not a poisonous snake... Oh... dammit! I mean phew! Ouch ouch ouch!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What is invisible and smells like carrots? The smell of Carrots. Pretty sure you can't see smells.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops