Your mother is so fat that if she were to fall from a great distance she would hit the ground with more force than that of an average sized individual.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted honey. Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to get to his house. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stupid.

Man: I just bought this hearing aid Friend: How much did it cost Man: No it's 8 o'clock

What's better than having sex with your mother? Nothing. I'm in love with her, son.

Austin do your class work. Quit looking at anti-jokes. Yes you the one that goes to RRHS.

Why did apple fall off the tree? Because Sally was holding on for dear life and she grab the apple. The apple was still in good condition; Sally however, not so good.

Three peasants were brought in front of the King to be rewarded for their assistance during a drought. The King told them that they could each request one thing from him that he could provide. The first man asked to be rich, so the King ordered his guards to fetch a large sack that was filled to the brim with gems and gold pieces. The man thanked the King and left his palace joyfully. The second man asked for a larger house so the King gave him access to one of his many castles. He hurriedly left, eager to try out his new home for size. The third man asked for a cat so the King gave him a cat.

how many babies does it take to paint a barn? depends on how hard you can throw them

Doctor, doctor, it hurts when I hit my head with a hammer!! Dont hit your head with a hammer anymore.

Why was the boy sad? because the serotonin level in his brain was significantly lower than normal.

i want to eat a horse out jaffa cake

Q: What's purple and flies? A: Super Grape

"You've got a lot of C in your body." said the doctor. Jimmy replied with glee: "Ah that's great news, vitamin C is.." "No you've got Hepatitis C, you'll be dead within a month."

Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

Why did the chicken cross the road? Chicken is a funny word, and the road is a plot device.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because 7 8 9. I'm just counting

An underaged man walks into a bar. He orders a beer, but the bartender says we don't serve minors. The boy then rushes out if the bar for fear of being caught.

God Does exist to all thoes atheist out there!!! All you have to have is faith. I corinthians 1:18 "for the message of the cross is foolishness to thoes who are perishing, but for thoes who are saved it is the power in christ Jesus!! <3

How many dead babies would it take to plug the Fukushima Dai-Ichi nuclear power plant? None -- they are using thousands of litres of liquid glass coagulant instead.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It can never be certain, as chickens are incapable of communicating.

One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

Your mother is so fat that she's more prone to cardiovascular disease than other people who stick to the proper BMI or body mass index

Why was the dwarf nicknamed The Anaconda? Because everybody loves a bit of irony.

guess what what that wasnt it

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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