A man suffering from terminal cancer walks into a bar and orders a soda because his doctor advised him not to drink. The bartender and others in the establishment are completely unaware of his disability.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

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A man walks into a bar. He's black. Its 1962. He is immediately arrested.

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God has put a gate keeper at a gate in heaven to listen to how everyone has died. The first guy comes and says, "I thought my wife was cheating on me so when i came home I see this man hanging off my balcony, I thought he was the man cheating with my wife, so I then push him off, but he was still alive, so I threw a refrigerator onto him, that killed him, but I felt so guilty I soon commited suicide" The gates man said, "Wow thats terrible come in." Then the next guy come and he says how he died, "Well you see I was just oiling myself up for my workout, but I slipped, and fell off my 5th story balcony, and landed in some guys 3rd floor balcony I was hanging off the ledge, and a guy came I thought he was going to help me, but instead he pushed me of and threw a refrigerator on me." The guard let him in, and a third guy came. The Guard said,"Man its going to be hard to beat those guys their just sad. Ok how did you die?" The third man said, "Picture this I'm trapped in a refrigerator...

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? It isn't numbers are not sentiment objects therefore incapable of feeling fear

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How do you tell the difference between a pig and a sea pig? If you open your mouth and it fills with water, you are an idiot

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we all know sammi has a penis

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Q:What did the homeless guy say to the business man on the cell phone A: Nothing because he doesn't want to disturb his phone call

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roses are white violets are green if you you sit on santas lap he will stab you

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Your momma's so fat she died five years ago.

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How do you confuse and idiot? Purple.

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Why did the plane crash? Because its pilot was a loaf of bread

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Whats fat yellow and diabetic Brett lai lan

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL

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Zach Barlow

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What do you all a black person on the moon? An Astronaut

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What did the sea say to the penguin? Nothing it just waved..

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Peaches eat leaches, that is why sneaches live on beaches.

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[Jewish Joke] Some Guy: OOOOHH I GET IT Me: Anne Frank-ly, how did jew nazi this coming?

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A blind guy was reading the newspaper, it said flying cars. I bet he did'nt see that coming!

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What did the Jewish man say when he answered the phone? Hello?

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Who gives a shit? Justin Beiber.

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Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? A: This question has many different possible answers due to the range of sizes and shapes of bath tubs available on the market, and also depending on the size of the baby in question. It is therefore only possible to give a specific example.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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