knock knock Who's there? because 7 ate 9

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There once was this guy and he fell down

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Guy: I have a gun get in my van Girl: SHOTGUN!

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Your mamas so old that she sat next to Jesus in kindergarten?

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What squirts out of your butt and runs down your leg? Bloody diarrhea.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Microwaveable jellied horse nipple

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A proton and a neutron talk to each other. Two atoms are walking down the street one day, and one of them says to the other: "Hey, wait up a second. I think I lost an electron" The first atom replied, "Are you sure?" The second atom said, "Oh, wait. Never mind. I found it."

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How big is kevins Dick? Idk ask his mom!

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.......ah shit i forgotten the joke

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Women's rights

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Go away.

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Q: Why did the Jew have to go to a concentration camp? A: Because he was Jewish

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what is more fun than shower time with adele. a mass gang bang with antonia

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because six cheated on seven and slept with nine.

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What do you call a magic MAAAAAAAAAAAN? A magic man

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How did the teenage mother get her baby to stop crying? Multiple stab wounds to its throat

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Why is my grandpa always so grumpy? Because he has diabetes and life is very difficult for him.

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Why did the man pull out his chainsaw? To get rid of a tree in his front yard.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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There is a bomb. It blows up and kills 26 people.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Set an alarm for a reasonable hour.

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I walked in on my daughter masturbating. The whole ordeal was very uncomfortable, but I sat her down at the dining table to discreetly explain the necessity of locking doors.

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What do you call a flat-chested woman with a penis? A man.

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Q: Why did the boy fall off his bike? A: Someone threw a refridgerator at his head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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