A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

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Why did the plane leave late? Because they were out of Kellogg's® Breakfast Cereal.

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how many Ethiopians can you fit in a bathtub? all of them.

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How old is george washington? anyway thats not the point your pregnant

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How do you confuse a blonde? I guess the same way you confuse someone of any other hair color.

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How many black people does it take to screw In a lightbulb.....I can't see them.

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An Admiral walks into Ackbar...

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Jack and jill Went up the hill To go smoke Some marijuana Jack got high Unzipped his fly And asked jill "Do you wanna?" Jill sais "yes" Pulled up her dress And things got real fun But silly jill Forgot the pill And now they have a son

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Why don`t women need watches? Because in our modern society, there are many clocks in most locations.

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jeremie er en ape hvorfor er han det? Who cares!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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How do you confuse a blonde? take the albuterol

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Your muffins smell good! Oh you is just nasty.

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What does a blonde's vagina taste like? The same as her brain, cabbage

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Why are rich people usually fat? They're living large

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What did the biker do when he heard about Kony 2012? He became a social activist and did his part by contributing to the cause.

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how do you punish hellen keller? you can't she's dead

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? How would she know? shes blind, deaf and mute; and incapable of knowing what she received.

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What happens when you walk by two black men? You walk by two black men.

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So a horse walks into a bar, oh wait Sarah Jessica Parker

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow who? Interrupting Cow who, unlike his quiet friends back on the farm, enjoys to speak when others are nearly finished with their sentence.

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Q: Whats worse than spilling milk? A: Cancer Q: Whats worse than cancer? A: Rebecca Black

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What's meaner than taking a candy from a baby? Tossing the baby of a cliff

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops