How did the polack burn his hands on the stove? He placed his hands on the hot stove top burners not realizing they were hot.

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I wont be arriving soon alright, I mean I am a overachiever for many reasons many of them not exactly "gifts" (such as the pain I cant shut up about but focus on other things such as my goal surely keeps my mind occupied enough). Thanks about the looks comment, used to think I was pretty good looking myself, so if I am more than the looks, then I really like that one (I know I am being a bit brash, but I haven't felt this... Better in a long time, and if hell if I will fake low self confidence, modesty is not my thing when I am not in the mood to be charming) By the way, Alice is quoting me, and having a laugh doing so apparently, lets just say I wont be typing myself ever again, my fingers are not... Useful, and honestly typing with one hand was always a bitch. Enough about me, ill have one of "my shadows" send you money for a first class (seriously you have spent enough on me, and now that my city is making a revenue and still advancing, its my turn to return whatever I can) Tell your parents you won the lottery and share some of the money with them I am sending you a bit extra so to speak. And ffs do not worry about my body, not even sure if I will walk again and speaking, well while it hurts (Alice is laughing again) people here concluded I would live for faaar longer than their first prognosis since I never been a fan of shutting up, and as I told them, my mouth will keep yapping about 200 years after I die, so no problemo. Ill send you a first class to... Nvm you take the money, and come around whenev... You know what? Ill send a plane, yeah, because we can afford that, not yours to keep but you know...

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I'm 4 and what is this?

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George Bush.

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Roses are red violet are blue i saw a machine and it was ps2

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whats red and bad for your teeth... A brick.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted. You're adopt...wait what?

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Q: What do you call a robot in a concert? A: Electric fan

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I friended Paul Walker on Xbox, but he's always in the Dashboard.

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What's winnie the pooh's middle name? the

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A gay dyslexic black man walks in to a bar the bar tender say "what'll it be" and then he orders his drink and pays his bill and leaves.

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Why did the eighty year old man climb into a fridge? Because he wanted to.

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Every time you make fun of an Ethiopian child he dies a little on the inside.. But that's probably just from the hunger..

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Knock knock. Who's there? You. You who? Fuck you.

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Why did the British boy win his talent show? Because he had straight teeth

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What do you call your mom? Mom

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What did the the policeman say to the band member who trashed a hotel room? "You're under arrest" The band member replied "Well, you're under a vest" The policeman reiterates that this isn't the time to be making any jokes and that vandalism is a very serious offence

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What did the blind kid that couldn't talk get for Christmas Cancer

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What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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Your mother is so succsessfull that she can have any job she wants, she is probally going to stick with her current job though, She is a lawyer.

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Why did the black man die? Because he fell off a cliff.

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So a man walks into a bar, He says, "Hey bartender! Can I have some beer?" The bartender says, "Sure!" and hands the man a Bud Light. The man drinks the Bud Light and leaves afterward.

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Why did the boy eat his bagel? He was hungry.

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What do you get when you mate a rhino with an elephant? Nothing. This mating cannot produce offspring.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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