What did the woman say to her abusive husband? You're hurting me.

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What do JFK and Hitler have in common? They died.

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kevin kim

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? I don't know, that's why I was asking.

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what do you call a 2-foot blue scottishman named max? max

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Knock knock Who's there Banana Bananas can't talk. Crap he's on to me

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What does an owl and a mole have in common? They both live underground, apart from the owl

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u know y blondes and tornadoes r so alike? first theres a lot of blowing and sucking, and then u lose ur house!

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Why did the blonde jump off the bridge? She was clinically depressed and wanted to end her life

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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SCP-009-J is missing. Where has it gone? Is it under the table? Was it sat upon? Is it there on the ceiling? Is it under the rug? Was it gobbled right up by a quantum pillbug? Did it run through the tunnel? Did it fall down the stair? Was it sent back in time to a carnival fair? Did it get on a train to a far-away place? Is it locked in a falsified beacon from space? Did it fall in the oobleck and [DATA EXPUNGED]? If it clogged up the sink, will it have to be plunged? Just where has SCP-009-J gotten to? Oh wait, that's right! SCP-009-J is you!

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wanna here a joke? you.

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I was on Skype with a girl yesterday and she asked "Do you want to see something?" "No," I said "my mom's in the room and she might get a bad interpretation." "I really want you to see this." She said. " No, my mom's still in the room, she'll think I'm weird if you turn out the lights." "Darn I really wanted to see your glow in the dark snuggie."

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milly, milly, milly, cat

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How do you confuse a blonde? You tell em a AntiJoke!

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What has 2 brown legs and 2 gray legs? An elephant with diarrhea.

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Q: how many Pollocks does it take to paint a house? A: 100. 99 to spin the house and 1 to hold the paint brush

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A guy in mud.

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What walks like a duck, talks like a duck, but doesn't look like a duck? A horse named Quackie

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What red, white, and blue? A white person who was raped by a clown.

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What's worse than public speaking? Public masterbation. *Spelled it wrong purposly to bypass the filter*

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There are 2 women at a bus stop. One of them has a swollen belly. The pregnant woman says to the other one, "I'm expecting a baby." The other woman responds, "That's too bad. I'm expecting a bus, at least that'll help me."

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Seen the new batman movie? [spoiler] the audience dies

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Why was the man crying? Because he was punched in the stomach.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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