Roses are gray, violets are gray, everything's gray, bitch im a dog.

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how many rapists does it take to screw a lightbulb?

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why do jews like weed? A) because they are used to being baked.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a bus.

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What did Hitler get his son for Christmas? An Ez-bake oven and a GI Jew

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John: Hey Pablo why are you standing outside Home Depot. Pablo: Because I work here.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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What did the farmer say when he finally found his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?" Oh ya he had alzheimers.

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*Knock knock* Who's there? *Silence* (The person knocking is deaf)

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How many licks did it take for the little boy to get to the center of the Tootsie Pop? Three, and then he choked and died.

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What's worse than a tornado that kills your whole whole family? Nothing.

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Your Mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late, great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

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What do Abraham Lincoln and George Washington have in common? They both had beards, except for Washington.

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What is both dead and alive at the same? nothing, thats scientifically impossible you fool

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A blonde woman with her son are in walmart , as they approach the food and beverage section , they see a mexican man looking at the eggs. The man asks for help from the blonde woman about egg quality. She says ABD Eggs are the best so the mexican guy chooses that. Upon leaving the little boy points to the mexicans guys hat and shouts "ALIENS !" the mother gets really embarassed and shouts at her son for his behaviour and says it is not right. The mum gets relieved that she say that the mexican guy could not hear since he was listening to music. Upon the way out the mum spots a purplish liquid dripping out of the mexican guys hair. She asks him and he replies "Its the hair gel". The blonde and son nods and continues on their lives. - AK

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms. *knock knock* -Who's there? -Not Suzy.

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what's worse than getting beaten by police? Getting beaten by Russian police

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Q. What did Grandmother get Little Boy Johnny for Christmas? A. Nothing. She died on Thanksgiving Day.

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What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing, animals can't talk.

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what did the penguin say to the dodo bird. nothing because dodo birds have bin extinct for thousands of years and it is highly unlikely for a dodo bird to be saying anything to a penguin do to the fact they wouldn't be anywhere near each other and neither species can speak.

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why did andy wake up this morning. because he wasnt tired anymore

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knock knock whos their? kevin kevin who? knock knock huh? queef

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A Cadillac Escalade ran off a cliff with 4 black man in it. What's wrong with this? The Cadillac could hold 6 people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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