Q:Why did the baby cross the road? A: It was stapled to the chicken

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What do you call a duck In Africa ? Screwed

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Why are you on anti joke? Because your not funny enough to make your own jokes

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

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How do you get someone to shut up? Shove a fork down their throat and hang them by thier thumbs

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What do you call a blonde with one leg? Heather Mills

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question: why did the dog whine? answer: Because it wanted the freakin bone

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What's Big and Round? My Testicular Cancer

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An Octopus walks into a bar and sees that there are multiple people with instruments. The man with the Guitar says "I bet you cant play the Guitar better than Led Zeplin?" So the Octopus plays and he is better than Led Zeplin. Then the man with the Piano says "I bet you can't play the piano better than Elton John?" So the Octopus Plays it better than Elton John. The Last man from Scotland says " i bet you can't plat the bagpipes better than me?" So... The Octopus is playing around with the Bagpipes and they say to him "Hurry Up!" and the Octopus says "Shut up, I'm trying to have sex with it but first I need to get it's pajamas off" (Bagpipes have 8 long things you blow into and they have a pattern that looks like a pajama pattern) hahaha

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A man walks in to a bar, Has a drink, and leaves.

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What's scarier than the most horrifying monster you can think of? The thought of Donald Trump becoming president!

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why did the poet kill the blackchicken? as a source of inspiration for his poultry

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Who gets more action than my best friend Reese? My raped cousin....

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What's the object with the most points according to science and math? A sphere.

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Why couldn't Jimmy wash his hair? He has leukemia and therefore no longer has hair.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

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A whore walks in to a bar. She soon finds her John and they leave to his hotel room.

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A mass murderer ran into a bar full of people. He first shot a man. What did the man say when the murderer shot him? Nothing, he was hit in the head and instantly died before he could say anything.

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y momma so fat that she's heavy

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says "It's probably not a good idea that your in here, any sudden movements and you could seriously injure somebody. Our beer glasses aren't ergonomically designed for your kind of species. I'm going to have to ask you to leave"

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Knock knock Who's there? Dave, I've got a fucking gun. Let me the fuck in.

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What did the deaf Jewish Rabbi say to the Italian Priest. What?

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why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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