You know what a thief's kid receive on christmas? Your bike!

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Why did the duck cross the road? It followed the chicken.

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some weirdo nerd was just convicted of a hit and run Just kidding. All he did was suffocate your dad with a whoopee cusion.

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What do you call a fat man that can turn slim REALLY fast? Drew Carey

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What starts with a 'D' and ends with 'ick' Daniel and Jimmy are walking in the park when suddenly they get hit by a stick because a mysterious person threw the stick.

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What's black and runs fast? Newsflash: Most of you are racist.

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A boy walks into a bar, then walked out. He's not 21!

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How do you kill a Russian? You shoot him with a gun.

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Why is Steven so gay? Because hes actually Richard Simmons

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if chuck norris had 5 dollars and you had 10 dollars you would have 5 dollars more than Chuck Norris

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What did one guy in the bar say to the other? Hi.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. Because, It can't fly

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What is red and has seven dents? Snow White's Cherry.

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What's black, white and red and can't turn round in corridors? A nun with a spear through her head

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What did the politician say to the other politician? We are both politicians.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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My, you you... SEDUCER! XD, and there I go proving your point by going uppercase XD

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Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

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A Muslim walks into a bar. BOOM

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The game!

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one time there was a fukc then it taked a shat potated pancocks cancer is fuCk 18 why did the cock cross the choad? fUcK

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who's there?

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why did the chicken cross the road? because the 99p mcdonalds mayo chicken was popular in the coop.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops