there is a man swimming in the ocean with a tree in the ground eating him up so , the cantelope asks the microwave where is the store the microwave says nothing because it is an inanimate object and cannot speak even though the cantelope can which is unfortunate

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Q.why did the woman die A.she left the refrigerator door open then left the kitchen

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how do you make a plumber cry kill his family how do you kill the plumbers family with a wrench

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What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods? Santa Claus is a fictional old man who flies around delivering gifts, while Tiger Woods is a professional golfer.

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Why was the man afraid of the pack of wolves? The man was blind and heard his stomach growling even though he had just eaten two buckets of KFC.

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A Mexican walks into an all white people bar. He then proceeds to buy rounds for everyone in the bar. Everyone thanks the mexican and everyone gets back to doing their own thing.

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Roses are Grey, Violets are Grey, Everything's Grey, I am a Dog.

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What do you call a politician on fire? A tragic death for the American public..

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Two men walk in to a bar, one buys a beer. The second receives a phone call and leaves.

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how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

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How did the boys sunglasses fall off his face? He was drop kicked.

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Three black men get out of a taxy. They split the bill evenly and get on with their day... By Wade

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when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. when life gives you melons, you are soon diagnosed with dyslexia.

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Why could the woman cook for her family? She didn't have one she was anti-social

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3 out of 5 smokers die And apparently the other 2 become immortal

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why was the clown sad? died of cancer and left his loving family to fend for themselves in this cruel, cruel world.

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How do you make someone feel stupid? You throw a smart person at them

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what do you call a black man wearing a makeup? A clown

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Did you know every 46 seconds somebody commits suicide Thumbs up for pancakes!

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a priest, a rabbi, and a nun walk into a bar...and the bartender goes...what is this a joke? mr. healey

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A man walks into a bar. Later that night he comes home to an intervention and realizes he has a drinking has hurt him and his family.

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Why did the paraplegic roll his wheelchair up a steep hill? Because he's crippled.

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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Q:Why do people not live forever? A: Because they die dumbass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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