Why couldn't dracula's wife get to sleep? She had insomnia.

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what does the doctor say to the patient. you have cancer

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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How many people are in the world? More than one. -David Papile

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Two Jewish Rabbis are sitting in a sandbox....

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? Because it wanted to be a monkey? Why did the John fall out of the tree? Because he has no arms and legs because he suffers from a severe case of lepracy. Why did Timmy fall off his bike? Because he got hit by three monkeys, a fridge and a boy with no limbs.

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What did the rednecks say when they saw the bat? Ma, I'm afraid this is the Myotis Sodalis, or Indian Bat. It is an endangered species. Thus, we cannot shoot it.

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What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.

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a jewish person sees a nickel on a sidewalk and continues walking.

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whats funnier then a joke on anit jokes pracitcally anything cause anti jokes repaeats and everyone has herd them

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What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, cause they are walls.

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When life hands you lemons... do not squeeze them, for juice may squirt into your eye, causing severe pain.

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Tunechi

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What comes after 69? mouthwash

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Eats shoots and leaves Pandas. If you can't figure this out then you're probably 12

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A man walks into a bar with a monkey..I forget the rest but your mother is a whore.

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Why is the turkey always full? Because he is stuffed.

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What's funny about a blond, a brunette, and a red-head, drunk in a Cadillac? Everyone knows integration is a myth.

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Man: Doctor doctor I feel like a pair of curtains........ Doctor: You clearly have Alarming mental issues perhaps a psychologist would be the right person to discuss this matter further

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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Even dyslexic people attend church and pray to Dog.

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What's a zombie's favourite dessert? I don't know, but I'll give you 50 bucks to go and ask one.

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A seal walks into a club.

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What do you call a dinosaur when it gets out of a pool? Wet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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