Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? A: Drowning.

Q: 1 out of every 44 presidents can dunk, who is it? A: How the hell am i suppost to know

Write Your Own It's easy to take part, just type your text below!

Why did the guy stay up all night on the internet? because hes a fat ugly bastard with no life

What do you do if you work in subway? we make the subs put meat on it then put salad on then cut it then wrap it other duites involved but cba to exsplain

What did the poor guy get for christmas? The homeless guy.

Your mamas so fat. She fat.

What do you call a gay mexican on welfare? poor

your mothers so silly she saw a rock and sat on a chair.......?

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Macy's was having a giant sale.

Q: Why did the grand mother drop her cane? A: She got pused out a window.

how do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

Two people are walking down the street, unaware of the highly polluted environment and that they could save a life.

You know whats funny? Women's rights

Why did the old lady have a heart attack? She got raped by a giraffe.

A frenchman, an englishman, and an italian walk into a bar. They proceed to drink their beer in silence, because they can't understand each other one bit.

There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

whats white, and stinks of urine? nick griffin's toliet

What do Bruce Lee and Michael Jackson have in common? They are both dead

if life gives you lemons. squeeze one into your moms eye.

Why did the mailman cross the road? To deliver mail

Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

A dyslexic man gets asked what 1+1 is, he replies with a wopping 11. Grats <3

A homeless man gets a computer. Later that day he is found dead inside the computer.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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