What do you call a dog riding a bicycle? An talented dog.

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why did the chicken cross the road ask jake darby

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, shes already been told twice

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What do Chinese people call Chinese food? Food.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

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Why did the people thumbs-up the anti-joke? Because I threatened them with A GUN

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Little Johnny asks his teacher "What's 23 times 3?" She yelled, "Be quiet, Johnny, and grow up!"

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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A thief stole a calendar. Later, feeling guilty, he returned it to its owner, admitted his misconduct, and went to a local minimart to purchase his own.

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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What did Osama Bin-Laden say on 9/11? JENGA!!!!

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timmy has no arms knock knock whos there? NOT TIMMY!!!

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Thank you Jesus, for this wonderful meal we have tonight. De nada.

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theres no 'I' in 'team' but theres an 'I' in 'hitler'

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How many unicorns does it take to change a lightbulb? Unicorns do not use lightbulbs, their technology (magic) is way too advanced to waste fossil fuels and pollute the air. Also, you can't change a lightbulb with hooves. ;)

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Why did the woman stop jogging? She got mauled by a bear.

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What is a black person's favorite food? It varies from person to person, just as with any race.

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What do you call a kid with one leg and an eye patch? Names

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Jake: When was war of 1812? Harry: 1812 Jake: Oh.

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What do you call a fish without an eye? A fsh

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Jokes Ki Duniya

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whats worse than the black death. Bieber Fever

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What do you call a black women serving 60 years in prison? A prisoner.

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JAMIE STEGMAN IS A MASSSIVE DERP Jess Pots. YOUR A NOOB

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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