What did Steven Hawking get for Christmas? ------ ------ ------ A bike.

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A criminal walks into a bar, and shoots the bartender and has his way with the waitress. Its his bar now.

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whats red and all over the road your family after a horrific car crash

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What's dark, scary, and full of puppies? My van. I lied about the puppies...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He had no conscience and therefore was not able to backup the very reason that he crossed the road.

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So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. He crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot

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Why did the girl hang herself? She was constantly bullied in school and on the internet.

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If I fly my canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, then how many lollipops does Obama have? None, because dogs can't use flashlights.

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How do you make a clown shut up? Throw a axe at it!!

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Yogurt? You are joking right? I am having yogurt right now, do you like see trough me or something? I mean I have been told people can do that but no way!

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I like my coffee how I like my women Without a penis

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he has has no arms.

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Suzie was in a traumatizing accident resulting in her arms getting cut off. Knock Knock? Whos There? Not Suzie.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Thats what they tell me because I'm blind

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What do you call a black man in a suit and tie? Presumably affluent

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what does a blue watermelon and a cactus that looks like a penis have in common? orange ya glad i didn't say banana!

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What did the drug addict say to the doctor? I am a drug addict and am in need of help and rehabilitation.

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Chuck norris doesn't make his own butter he roundhouse kicks the cow and the butter comes straight out.

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Why were you at a funeral? Someone died.

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What did the mother say to her color blind son when he was about to take his first car ride alone after he got his license? Good luck

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Knock knock. Who's there? Gestapo. Gestapo who? Your husband is dead.

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Why do black people love watermelon and fried chicken? Honestly who doesn't? Duh! Because most people do! Moral: Not so sure about the coolaid though...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops