Knock, Knock. Who's there? The Police, your family just died in a car accident/

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What are the biggest ants in the world? Ants under a magnifying glass.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

There were 2 drunk men. Man 1:im planning to buy the world. man 2:you cant. man 1:why. man 2: cause im not gonna sell it.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How to trick hundreds or religious people to drink cyanide? You establish a religious community in which you establish a ritual of drinking Kool-Aid once a day and one day switch the Kool-Aid with cyanide.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Steve is getting paid $29.50 to bounce a ball Steve is getting fired monday

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What stinks of shit and has money. Smelly Mc Dee I lied about the money.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

An old man gets into a van with two little boys. They are his grandsons.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why can't Hellen Keller have babies? She's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +225

What's the difference between a cow and a cow? Nothing, they are both the same.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, oceans and beaches are both not alive, thus incapable of speech and feeling emotions

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A hundred dollar bill falls in the middle of an intersection. Equally distanced from the bill stand a Jew, a Black, a White Supremacist and an Arab. Wouldn't it suck to be on this street? I am sure violence will ensue.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What’s the difference between a frog and a duck? One is a frog and one is a duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What flys? A fly

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what did the terrorist get for christmas? probably nothing because terrorists are steriotypically muslim, but i imagine if not it was a gift close to his heart

thumb_up thumb_down +5

My dad said that if I post anymore jokes on this website, the will hit my head against the keyboaaskdnaji;nsd;asdnasd;

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

thumb_up thumb_down +26

-Knock Knock -Anthony got in a car crash -Who's There -He died

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Did you hear about the blond who went to college? She got her masters. became and environmental scientist, married a nice man, and had two wonderful children. After retiring at age 65, she spent the rest of her days living in a cozy beachside house.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

i need teepee for my bunghole! jlr

thumb_up thumb_down -4

There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Fun fact: Steel wool comes from the fleeces of iron sheep.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Billy comes home from playing with his friend as he walks to his front yard he comes across his mother...she is dead on the floor his friend then says "im SO sorry your mom is dead but at least you still have your dad" Billy than replies "my mom is my dad" billy then is put into a foster home and spends years trying to recover from the fact that he is the freak offspring of a hermaphrodite

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why did road cross the chicken Niggers love chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

"Knock, knock." "You don't have to say that. The door's open, come on in."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops