How do you make a retard make a sound like a dog? Douse him in gasoline and light him on fire. WOOF!

The snake had no skatebord to put johnnys refrigirator because the bettles mom had stolen the clowns purse were his parking had been for the airplane higway stop.

Q: What's long and brown? A: The unemployment line.

A man walks into a bar He says ouch

A horse walks in a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse didn't reply because he was a hoarse horse.

Why did Cam newton win the heisman? Wait Cam Newton won the heisman?

what is so fun about having sex with twenty six year olds? There is a high possibility their breasts have developed, thus equaling more pleasure for you.

Why did the cookie die Because a fat kid was hungry

How do you tell if your boyfriend is gay? He is having sex with men

why did the man fall over he was a loaf of bread

Q. Why did the koala bear go to court? A. Because too many people were referring to it as a bear when it is infact not a bear.

What did the circle say to the square? Ur a square

We're out of mustard, so in your sandwich I used some yellow liquid dripping from a dying rhinoceros.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had the utmost desire to.

Tifa my ass, if that is your name buddy, then I am Nicholas Cage, or why do you not just call me Cloud Strife? Seriously, if you are a guy just say it and get lost, I will still honor my agreement and show up and see what I can do for your little order though, you pay the trip and the stay of course.

An iman, a rabbi and a priest walk into a bar. It's not the same bar. They feel uncomfortable mixing together and this makes me sad.

A dirty joke Three white horse's are walking down a trail one falls in the mud

When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

A sober Irish individual.

What did the dog say to his owner? Nothing, dogs do not have mouths that are shaped for forming words. Talking would require too many complex movements of the mouth, and since a dog's brain is very small, it would not have the capacity to hold that much information.

What's bad about being a ghost with no arms or legs? You're dead.

Q:Why did the black man shoot the white man? A:The black man happened to be extremely good at paintball.

What s the difference between a pigeon ?

Drew Knowles is gay

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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