What did Jesus say to the giraffe? Good day to you sir.

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A son went to ask his father about his thoughts on abortion. "Dad, what do you think about abortion?" "Ask your sister." "I don't have a.."

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What did batman say to robin before they entered the batmobile? Get in.

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Why was the jewish boy sad? He had no friends.

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What did Hitler say to Mussolini? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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Q: Why did the little girl fall from the swing? A: Because she didn't have arms. Q2: And why did she fall from the swing again? A2: Because she tried to get on it again.

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What did the guy say to the blonde? "You're a blonde."

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What's more fun than a negative pregnancy test? Nothing.

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Yo mama's house is so small that she had to get a better job in order to buy a bigger one.

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What do you call a boy with no arms or legs? Chris

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Rebecca Black walks into a bar and gets shot.

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“Anything that moves ey?” – William Deane

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Why did Silly Billy throw a clock out the window? Because he has a serious anger problem.

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Derp

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Friends are like potatoes. I don't have any potatoes.

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Whats funnier then two babies falling off a cliff? 2 babies falling off a cliff

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Why didnt the boy go to school the next day? Because he killed himself due to bullying

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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What did the parakeet say to the grapefruit? Nothing. Parakeets can't speak.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Llama. Llama who? Llamas aren't racist unlike that bastard Ann Coulter. That's why they can get a carrot up the ass and she can't.

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Put it in the microwave

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Why did little susie fall off the swing? because she had no arms. Knock knock who's there? not susie

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Why did they bury the fireman on the east side of the green grassy hill, to the left of the old well, underneath the huge apple tree? Because he was dead.

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Why was Jenny walking home alone from school? Because three years ago her parents were murdered brutally by a drug dealer and social services haven't yet realised that Jenny is still living in the empty house.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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