Where do babies come from? My garage

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Replacement Referees

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Why did the girl fall off the couch? She had a seizure.

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What's more annoying than Minion quotes? That the girl in the basement keeps screaming for help.

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Why did the boy fall of the swing? Because he had no arms!

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Q: Why did the plain crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread. By: LV

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm schizophrenic. And so am I!

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Your mom is so ignorant that she in completely unaware how the premature termination of QE2 in conjunction with a potential US credit downgrade could substantially impact her fixed income portfolios and hinder her ability to retire in the desired time frame.

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Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

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What does a muslim do on a plane? Flies to his intended destination without causing a problem.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

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how much blow can charlie sheen hold up his nose? enough to kill Two and A Half Men

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Boy: Is your body from McDonalds ? Girl: Aww is it because your lovin' it? Boy: No, it's because your greasy and fat!

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What does a tomato and a human have in common? They both spray red liquid when stabbed repeatedly

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whats red and smells like blue paint? half a painter.

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What has two thumbs and is very pale? A dead baby.

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why couldn't the one armed man juggle because it was snowing outside and his one room flat was to small

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because he was dead.

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Write Your Own Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side Enter the following: Which is bigger the moon or the elephant? Your Answer: The elephant [] I have read and agree to the Terms of Service ((((Submit)))) [1 error prohibited this post from being saved] ---There were problems with the following field -> Wrong answer

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Q: What do you do when you find a black man bleeding from a bullet wound on your front porch? A: Call an ambulance! He may only have minutes to live before he bleeds to death! Hurry!

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Why did the white girl have a black friend? Because she was very welcome to different races and wanted to learn about her culture.

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I know you are but what am I? Gay.

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Where did Sally go when the bomb went off? Everywhere.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops