How do you stop a pedophile from following you? Throw a fridge at him

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Q: Why did Timmy cry? A: You would too if you had your arm cut off

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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Q: How do you stop a baby from crying? A: You hit it with brick.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the seat next to you? A: Whatever his name happens to be.

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What doesnt have arms and legs? A brick.

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What do you get when you cross a turtle and a cheetah? A fictional animal.

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Their is a stripper, a prostitute, and a pole dancer on a plane that is about to crash. They all die.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? A blue waffle.

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I scream. You scream. We all scream and huddle in a corner of our first grade classroom because of a masked gunman.

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osama bin ladens hiding spot

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Why did the little boy fall of his bicycle? It was the first time he road without his training wheels.

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A biology teacher walks into a bar. "Ouch," he says. "I bet I just lost some brain cells. I wonder if any of them were going through mitosis..."

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what you say to the kid that just hit puberty? your a young man

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what did the indian boy say to his friend? I wish you were real

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There is a high speed pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids out of control and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns round to the other and says "Moo"

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Roses are Red, Violets are not blue they are violet, nothing rhymes with this, I give up

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My favorite color is Ham. And I can count to Potato.

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Whats black and can run fast? a panther.... racist

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand, "Hey! Got any grapes?" The man then realized he was hallucinating because ducks are unable to speak proper english.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding out you ate half a worm? Getting raped. Whats worse than that? Getting shot in the liver. Whats worse than that? Getting shot in the liver then getting raped.

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What do you call a black man at school the janitor

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Why didn't the little boy wake up today? Because he's dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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