Chuck Norris once went skydiving. his parachute did not deploy. where he landed is now known as the grand canyon

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what do you call a white and black girl 69? ying yang

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What's broken to the side of the road and covered in cookie crumbs? A girlscout that got hit by a car.

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What do you do when you fall of the horse? Consider calling the paramedics because it's possible that when you hit the ground your brain sustained damage and you should be rushed to a hospital immediately.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

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Why are aspirins white? Because the creator of aspirin didn't feel it necessary to color the pills.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? She didn't, her father named the dog because he was aware of his daughters innability to speak.

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Justin beiber comment if u get it

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What do you call the offspring of an elephant? A baby elephant.

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why does the man appear fat he is

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Did you hear the one about the broken pencil? Never mind, it's pointless

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was struck by lightning and died.

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Q: What's black and blue and is all over Timmy's mother? A: The bruises his father gave her when he came home drunk.

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Q:where does baby oil come from? A:Only the finest of babies

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What did the apple say to the banana. Nothing fruits cant talk.

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There were three soap salesmen in a bar. They were comparing how good they were at selling their wares. "I'm so good that I sell 60% of my soap bars each day," says the first salesman, bragging. The second one wasn't to be outdone. "I'm so good that I sell 80% of my soap bars," he declared. The last salesmen, who, up to the moment had been relatively quiet, suddenly said in a calm and collected manner, "Oh that's nothing. I'm so good that I sell all of my soap bars each day."

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There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police The police who? Sir, your wife is dead.

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What's the difference between a jew and a jew? They both died in the gas chamber.

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What's black and white, and red all over? Old movies that have ketchup on them.

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why did the chicken cross the road? well he usually takes the bus to his job but he missed it so he had to walk. Unrelated to this, he works at KFC

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Just kidding, Stephen Hawking doesn't drink.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? "Robin get in the car"

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Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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