Why was a mother crying at a hospital? Because a bird threw a stick at her five minutes ago.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's the difference between a Jew and a Scout? The Scout gets to come home from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was the couple in the waiting room crying? Because their son was diagnosed of AIDS and will probably not live into his twenties.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side why didnt the chicken cross back? for the first time in his life, Clucky the chicken, felt liberated. his cruel life flashed before his eyes, forcing him to remember all the bad tines he had spent on the McKinley farm. all the eggs stolen from him, watching all his friends being taken for slaughter. it all came back. from the other side of the road, Clucky saw a place he never wanted to go back to, a place he wanted to forget. the day he chose not to cross back was the first real day in Clucky's life.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Your mamma is so fat that she went on a diet.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Knock knock Who's there? Your brother My brother who? The dead guy over there.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Knock Knock Who’s there? Who Who who? Who who who Who who who who? Who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who…

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you make a sandwich? You don't, you have a girl do it for you.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call a man in the desert? Whatever his name is.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gays house! knock knock who's there? The chicken!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A elementary school child was waiting at the bus stop for the bus to come. All of the sudden, the bus comes around the corner, pulls up, stops and he gets in.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Knock Knock Who's there??? Your mom

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Jerry Sandusky walks into an Under 21

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: You know what you should add to your recipe? A: No, not really. Tell me. Q: What? Are you expecting an answer now? Why don't you just shoot me, huh?! Pee on my clothes and set them on fire! You racist son of an **orange**.... It certainly tastes better with oranges.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

whats long hard and full of seamen? a submarine.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

yo mamas so fat whenever she wears a pink bathing suit people say "look at that fat lady wearing a pink bathing suit!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What can you never have for dinner? Breakfast and lunch

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's green, has six legs and lives in the jungle? A Snooker Table.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why does Waldo wear stripes? Because he doesn't want to be spotted

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why did the man drown in the bath? He was a quadriplegic and couldn't support himself above the water.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Then I contracted bronchitis from the smoke. Unfortunately I don't not have time to visit a doctor to mend this debilitation. In fact, nobody does.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Justin with a hat.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the difference between jokes and anti-jokes? Anti-jokes aren't funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How do you get someone off a swing? ask them politely.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops