Why did little Betsy have a stomach ache? Her alcoholic mother pinned her down in a drunken rage and made her drink bleach.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A very rich man had a daughter whom all of the men in town wanted to marry her for wealth. Except there was one man who wanted to marry her due to his love for her. The father let his daughter marry whomever she wanted from all of the men in town, and she chose a man named Wilson Fremblington who wanted to marry her for wealth, because he was physically fit and overall a friendly man.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did Batman brush his teeth? So he wouldn't get bat breath

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many squirrels does it take to change a lightbulb? 42.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Roses are red, Violates are blue. I have an erection, and its lasted more then three hours

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q.what did god say when he made the first black person? A.oh shit i burnt it.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a blond harvesting penuts a penut farmer.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why do black people like Black Friday? They can get fairly expensive appliances for a very reasonable price.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why was the old man climbing the flag pole? Because he had Alzheimer, and he was losing his grasp of reality.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

WHAT DOES A NUMBER DO WHEN IT'S HORNE? MATHDERBATION

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the boy throw his clock out the window? He was furious because it was the fourth time that week that it failed to wake him up for school, and he was going to be late again.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

roses are red, violets are violet.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

whats gay ? you

thumb_up thumb_down +22

saftey torch you can out it on the porch. saftey torch put it in the hallway. saftey torch scare the monsters away. saftey torch that'll be 50 bucks.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Q. what sucks A. getting robbed loosing your family and then you die by cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +14

every cloud has a silver lining

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Feminism

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A guy said a racist joke and he got beat up now he is in the hospital for what he said.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

the elephant asks the man, " how do u breathe out of that thing?" the man proceeds to explain to the elephant how he breathes out of his nose.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why was the pedophile in jail? For indecent exposure to a child.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? ...Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man walks into a vagina. The man, expecting a holiday inn, is very confused, and later gets mauled by five bears, who mistook his scent for a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Aodhans da is Mr.Bradly and he dosnt know what coordinates are, 180 anti-clockwise,he has "the key to examination success is revision and homestudy tattooed on his chest, his das herbert the pervert, his mas a taxcollector and on the dole, his da sits on the roof eating biscuits, cleaning the satilite dish, he gets his pubes shaved in gordans chemist, he uses mcdonaldsd wifi, hes a fruit fly and he can stop global warming by shaking his head!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What does a snake and a dog have in common? They are both reptiles but except the dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops