- Anti Joke

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whats the difference between a fur rug and a pile of dead babies? i dont lie on a fur rug to pleasure myself

This is a story of Bobbie He was fat so he got bullied at school he did not have any friends. He ate a lot and watched the television. He was called names such as big, fat, an idiot, clumsy. But he begun to realise that if he was smart, he could become rich. So he studied hard and hard, but he did not become better at it. So he thought I want to succeed in sports, so he began exercising and was on a strict diet, but nothing changed. He was still fat and unfit. Then one day he knew that he couldn't succeed. So he asked God, what is the purpose of me living, why can't I have something, maybe a talent. God replied I'm sorry but I can't give you a talent. You have to figure it out by yourself. Then Bobbie knew what his talent was. So the following morning Bobbie went to www.anti-joke.com and began writing jokes. Octopus. Bye

One day a mans computer was unusually, when all else failed, he had to go to extreme measures. He then refreshed his page.

A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The horse said nothing because it doesn't understand human language.

Why didn't the caterpillar turn into a butterfly? Because it was a cheeto

Q: What's the capital of Ohio A: O

What did the lawyer say to a lawyer? We're both lawyers.

Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

Knock knock Who's there A gorilla A gorilla who? A gorilla is a ground-dwelling, predominantly herbivorous ape that inhabit the forests of central Africa. The eponymous genus Gorilla is divided into two species: the eastern gorillas and the western gorillas, and either four or five subspecies. They are the largest living primates by physical size. The DNA of gorillas is highly similar to that of humans, from 95–99% depending on what is counted, and they are the next closest living relatives to humans after the chimpanzees and bonobos.

No.

Why was Steve buried in Australia? Because he was dead.

Where did Susie go when the bomb went of? Everywhere?

Why was the baker rich? Because he had a lot of money

What happened when the kid tried to hang himself? He was overweight, so the ceiling fan that the rope was tied to fell out of the ceiling. When he explained this to his drunk mother when she got home, she reinforced the fact that he was overweight (his low self esteem was the root of his depression) and beat him. The next day, he just chugged antifreeze. This isn't a true story. Just calm down.

How did the two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for half an hr? They didn't and they died.

Would anyone like to contribute to my slush fund?

Hitler arrives at his neighbor's barmitzfah... fashionably late.

What do you call a needle with two points? A two headed needle.

-Whats not funny and has wheels? >What? -The Holocaust... I was lying about the wheels

What do you get when Johnson cooks toast? Shit toast.

Hellen Keller walks into a bar. And a tree. And a lamp.

A man walks into a bar and orders 6 shots. They all miss.

what's the difference between you and a yack one is a spitting idiot and the other one is a camel

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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