alright whoever posted it, like this, then comment your first name

The funniest thing happened in my dream last night, i dreamed that banks would stop ripping people off and start treating people like humans. How wierd is that :D

too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game

HOW LONG is a Chinese name?

what did the black, asian and jew have in common? Believe it or not, they all liked cantoulope.

How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb? NONE A YO F******G BUSINESS!!!

There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry." "No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away." "I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."

Why do women where make-up and perfume? because they are ugly and they smell bad.

What did the black do when a man robbed his house? He called 911

What do you get when you stab Al with a sword? At

Why the hell does my sister shower in a swimsuit every time? Its not as if anyone is looking! ALRIGHT! ONCE ALRIGHT? ONLY ONCE! But then she hears the sound of my zipper ONCE and the shit hits the fan! Which is weird, yeah suuure she hears it when I pull it up, but when I pull it down and stroke it and moan? Nada!

How many blonds douse it take to change a light bulb I dont know it hasn't happened yet

So a man is shopping on black Friday...

Two pretzels were walking down the street when one got assaulted...

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple?

What do you call Bob if he gets a nose ring? Bob

Q: Whats Long, Black and Smells? A: Sh*t

What time is the dentist appointment? Time for you to get a watch

How do you make a plumber cry? Murder his family.

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A present.

What do you call an unexpected pregnancy? A defective condom.

a young mother cow died in a street crossing by a large oil truck, she was never buried and became infested with maggots in the next few days

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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