What's black and blue and hates sex? The 13 year old tied up in my basement.

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What's that in the road.... a-head?

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A bold man said "well, here goes nothing!" Moments later, thats what happened

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A horse walks in a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse didn't reply because he was a hoarse horse.

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Q: What did the black man say to his Ex wife after she placed a restraining order on him? A: nothing, he was no longer allowed contact with her of any kind and thus could not converse with her

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What's faster than a black guy with your TV? Probably someone who doesn't have to carry such a heavy object.

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A man walks into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian quickly picks out such a book and hands it to him, because to deny him the book would break the conventions of a library.

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Q. Why did the man fall off his bike? A. He was hit by a canoe.

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What is brown and sticky? A masturbating Negro.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

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a horse walks into a bar the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse does not say anything because its a horse and horses cannot talk.

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So a priest, a rabbi, a blonde and a black person walk into a bar. The Bar Tender says, "Is this some kind of joke"

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What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Santa isn't real.

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What had 82 eyes, 7 mouths, and sings the blues? Nothing, the described creature does not exist.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear? The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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Knock, knock ... ... ... Well I guess no one is home.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know I'm not a bird physcologist

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A teenage boy tells his family that he is gay. His mother says she had always known, and they accept him for who he is.

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How does micheal Jackson know when it's bed time? When the big hand touches the little hand.

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What is a pirate's favorite color? It depends on the pirate.

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How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

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why did the truck crash into a tree? cause staplers dont know how to drive

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I have read and agree to the terms of service.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops