shut up iggy

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What's brown and sticky? A Stick!

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Why did the kid drop his football? He had a heart attack

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Knock Knock . . . I'm coming in!

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What do the world and jelly beans have in common? Nothing.

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A black man walks into a bar in Alabama, he then proceeds to have a couple of drinks and leaves.

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a terrorist -lschles

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What are the differences between a black man and a park bench? One's a chair and ones a person.

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What do you call someone that blows up a plane? Nothing you were on that plane

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What do you call a drunk, blind, deaf monkey driving a car? A bloody good driver!

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A wife asks her husband if he can fix the sink and he responds with Do I have plumber written on my forehead. Then she asks him if he can fix the porch and he responds with Do I have contractor written on my forehead. So the husband goes on vacation and comes back to find the sink and porch fixed and he asks his wife how it is fixed and she says that the new neighbor helped. So she says the neighbor said he would only do it for cake or sex. The husband respond by saying Which one did you choose. His wife responds by saying Do I have Betty Crocker written on my forehead.

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What would Abraham Lincoln do if he were alive today? Scream and scratch at the lid of his coffin.

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Ross.

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What did the dancing amphibious landing craft say to the carrot faced caterpillar? wanna get in its cold

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Roses are red violets are blue i have HIV you should probably get yourself checked...

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Why is Wednesday a bad day? Because at some point, Monday will come around again.

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I put the word **** in a post. Anti Joke starred it and the joke didn't make sense anymore.

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The last joke I tried to submit used "trolololol" as the enter code thing and I spelled it without the extra "lol" The lolz have got me again *this time it asked me for "basket case"

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A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

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What did Tarzan say when the monkeys came over the hill? Hey look, the monkeys are coming over the hill.

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What do you get when you sunflower? Vegan turtles.

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Your mom's so fat that her doctor recommended that she exercise regularly and foods with nutritional value!!!! Oh burn!!!!

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Why was the boy crying on his birthday? He was being molested by his birthday clown who he was fully aware was his alcoholic costumed father.... And it wasn't his birthday.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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