What's the difference between a Cadillac and a pile of dead babies? My wife didn't cheat on me in a pile of dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

so little jonny was doing bad in school like always so he decided to drop out and now he cant get a job and will have a terrible life and die alone

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: What's green and goes round and round and round? A: A baby on a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then he sits down to enjoy his evening.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Justin Bieber

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why couldnt the baby walk through the door? because it had a javeline through its head.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What do you get when you add two boys and two girls in a basement? Four people fearing their lives during a tornado.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worse than missing your flight? Realizing that everyone who got on it died from a bomb

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you get when you mix a baby and chemical waste? A bad smoothie.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are red Violets are blue That's what they tell me Because I'm blind

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a fish that isn't moving? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How do you get a black person to drop chicken? Yell KKK.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A Horse walks into a bar. So the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The Horse replies "My jockey raped me".

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q:how do confuse courtney A: give her a beer

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock Knock Who's there? ... No one, you have Schizophrenia

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What did the surgeon say to the patient? Nothing. The patient died on the table.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did Chuck Testa do when he saw she had died of a heart attack? He cried and gave her a proper funeral and burial.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How many men does it take to wallpaper a room? It depends on how big the room is and, to a lesser extent, how wide the strips of wallpaper are. Also factor in variables such as ambient humidity.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did Osama Bin Laden Say to Obama when they met? Nothing Osama is Dead

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A black man, Jew and a Mexican go camping. A bear wanders into their campsite, but upon seeing them runs away because it's afraid of humans.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" He says, "I have acromegaly"

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Your momma is so fat she has an increased risk or cardiac arrest due to obesity. I ridicule her based on the theory that her morbid obesity is due to the fact that she has a diet consisting of large amounts of calories and high fat content and/or she is known to be very sedentary and does not partake in physical exercise. However, if this increase in body fat content is due to genetics I retract my previous statement and wish only the best for her, also, you might want to lower your calorie intake and visit your local gym, lest you succumb to morbid obesity, much like your mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock knock Who's there? The police. Your husband has been killed in an accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Happy Birthday! Your mom is dead!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops