How do you stop a bus? Throw small children in front of it. Except it didn't work for the boy with ice cream.

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Two Christians are on their way to church. They stay for prayers and have a lovely lunch.

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What's the difference between a large pizza and a Mexican? A large pizza can feed a family.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? getting your Fallopian tubes ripped out by wolverine

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What's so good about being Swiss? Well.... The flag's a big plus

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what is the difference between jelly and jam? jelly is smoother where jam has chunks of fruit in it...... and i cant jelly my penis down your throat

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenia, and don't have any friends

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What do you call a black guy in a Walmart? A customer. You prejudice dullard!

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What did the gay man say to the other gay man? I like guys... cause I'm gay.

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What did the orange say to the lemon? We are both alike but a differnt color

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How did the blonde get blood on her Ipad? A terrible paper cut.

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Hey! did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she...

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it's funny because it's funny

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? I don't know but you're a sick person even thinking about it.

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A blonde walks into a library. "PLEASE CAN I HAVE A CHEESEBURGER?!" he shouts at the top of his lungs. "Sir, this is a library," the librarian says. "Oh, sorry," he whispers and goes to McDonald's Two years of the routine and he dies of of heart failure and has diabetes.

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Q: What do you call a guy that is smart? A: A SMART Guy.

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What do the villagers say when they see Tarzan swinging into town? Look, here comes Tarzan! What do the villagers say when they see Tarzan swinging into town with sunglasses on? Nothing. They don't recognize him.

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Did you hear about the guy who lost his arm and leg in a car crash? Well, he just died in hospital. RIP.

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your mom is so blind she cant read.

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A batch of muffins is cooking in the oven, one muffin says to the others "it's hot in here!" the other muffins don't respond because they're muffins. He's the only of his kind.

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An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

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Your mother is so fat that her doctor recommended that she exercise regularly and eat foods with nutritional value.

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a child swallows a cleaning product, why is he given chocolate milk? to make him happy before he dies

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What did the man tell his parents after having sex with another man? A. I am gay.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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