Did you here about the 2 guys who wanted to go to Paris? They didnt go!

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i killed my family

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You come across a blonde, a brunette, and a red head. Why are you telling a joke? Go make sex.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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How does a woman scare a gynecologist? By pulling human entrails out of her purse when he asks her to provide insurance.

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what do you do to get a guy to vomit?? kick him in the balls!

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She got shot in the head by her drunk step-dad.

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Why did the woman drop her baby? she had a stroke.

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A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to the hospital for his concussion, seeing as the bar was made of metal

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Why couldn't the dwarf mother reach for the top shelf? Her height was at a mini-mum.

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Making fun of Charlie Sheen is like shooting up in a barrel.

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if you consider his name parents name social security number hospital born date born and nurses signature all on a peice of paper then i guess you consider that his birth certificate

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what did the scene kid get for christmas? a gift card which he used ironically.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a swing set in her backyard? Neither did she.

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homo-sexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

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What's the most stupid thing you have ever heard? Woman's Studies.

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop 397, IF you have a big tounge

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Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no sense Microwave

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why did susie get hit by the bus? cause the bus driver wanted her ice cream

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms; *knock knock*, Who's There? Not Sally.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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There's some good news and some bad news. The bad news is there isn't any good news.

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A rebellious teenage boy throws a dozen eggs on the street, now he has no eggs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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