Best joke: Okay so I got a joke for ya but it is pretty long so bare with me please. First off, you must have heard a knock knock joke before and you must have a huge sense of humor. So this guy walks into a bar and orders fried chicken wings with hot fudge and vinilla drizzled all over it with a cherry topping. The bartender says, "We don't have that." The guy thinks of anything else he'd like and says, "How about a bucket of turkey and jalapeños?" The bartender looks puzzled and once again says, "This is a bar..." The guy is now paranoid and says, "Fine, I'll just have a thick, juicy, chicken thigh but please remove any excess skin on it, it's unhealthy and I'm on a diet." The bartender slowly removes his apron and walks out of the bar shouting, "I QUIT!" The guy sits there on the barstool laughing as a lady bartender comes to him. "So sorry sir, what would you like? From our bar that we have available?" The guy stares at her, squinting. "By any chance do you know if you have the punch line to this 'joke' because I sure dont." Slowly the woman removes her apron and walks out of the bar. The guy grins, walks out, and says, "job well done today. Where to tomorrow?"

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What happened to the orphan on Christmas? he got raped

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what did you call a bench full of white guys? The NBA

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men's rights activists

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Daisies are green, poppies are white, I have a headache.

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What is purple, stupid, gay, and tells shitty jokes? I don't know. You think of something.

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What do you eat for breakfast and is sometimes blue? Pancakes.

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You can pick your ur nose u can pick ur friends u just can't pick ur friends nose.

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Hey did you hear the one about the pizza oven? No.

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Once upon a time, there was a horse that had no legs, it laid on the ground it's entire life and died. The end.

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What's city is in New York New York City

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Q: What did one muffin say to the other muffin? A: "AAAA! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he was greeting his new neighbors that moved in across the street. He was very friendly.

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What did the mail man say to the resident? I have your mail. Now let's f*ck.

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A man adopts an orphan. He waits till the child is a teenager to tell the news. He then commits suicide as to scar the child emotionally for the rest of its life.

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What did the priest get for Christmas? Herpes

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Who gave Max head georgia Hidi

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Roses are Brown Violets are Brown I hate everyone on antijoke that steals what I write I fisted a cows butt hole.

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Why was the blonde walking funny? She had a ten foot long metal bar shoved up her butt, and it was very painful to walk.

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Roses are red Violets are blue My dick can talk And it says it wants you

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A jew, a black, and a gay are walking together. The black points out a new house.

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Q. What do Jack the Ripper and Winnie the Pooh have in common? A. Same middle name.

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What do you get if you put a baby in a blender? An Erection

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Q: What does a psychic have in common with a stone? A: The bible decrees that psychics are witches and should be stoned and something topical about the stone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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