A man walks into a bar. He has had a tough day at work and unwinds with a beer. He goes home to his loving family. He makes love to his wife that night. It's good but not great.

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A black man is pulled over doing 66 in a 65 zone. He asks the officer what the problem is and the officer says his left tail light is out

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What do you do when you're surrounded by 15 vampires and 15 werewolves? Stop pretending.

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your mothers so fat...... shes borderline diabetic.

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What did the paper say to the pen? Nothing, they are inanimate objects!

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It's a scientific fact that if you took all the veins out of your body, and lined them up end to end, you would die.

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What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? A Coffin.

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What did the fat girl say to her friend? I'm fat.

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bologna

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Whats worse than burning your foot? Getting it eaten off by a cannibal.

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What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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What is a dog's favorite color? None,dogs have colorblindness.

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You have friends

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how do you scare a blonde person? dress up in orange and scream "mustard"

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A man walks into a bar and the barman says "Why the long face?" And the man replies "I am severely deformed".

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Great ideas: Go to your facebook account and type in: Man, I am gonna suicide right now, bye! Moral: Now if you do it as well, nah, dont do it, seriously... Just type it!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Johnny Johnny who? Johnny your son let me in mom! Son, I have something to tell you. What? Well, you're actually adopted *sobs*

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side

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This is funny.

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What's worse than finding a fly in your soup? Being raped... What's worse than being raped? The Holocaust What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two flies in your soup

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was playing Pokemon Go.

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K

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I have a horse.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops