What do you call a muslim flying a plane? A pilot

why couldn't three people walk? they were a part of the human centipede.

Why did the chicken cross the road ? To get to the other side . Unfortunately , there was a car accident and shrapnel from the explosion [caused by gas on fire] cut his head off causing the old woman to faint , and later die a horrible death .

Why could the kid not finish his homework? Because it flew out the window on the way to his parents funeral

Why was Osama Bin Laden so hard to find? His hiding place was difficult to come across.

How many jews does it take to stop hitler. no one knows they didn't

One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Amblyopsidae, or blindfish, commonly found in caves where they are well adapted to life in the dark.

What is blue and flies across the room? A baby with a punctured lung.

What do you call a black man with a Ph.D? Doctor.

Paige

Why did the boy give the girl flowers? Because her parents died in a car crash and he felt bad.

Why couldn't Jenna play double dutch? Because she had no friends.

An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can't talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

Chris:"knock, knock" Rhianna:"owwww..." Chris:"open da door" Rhianna:"so u can punch me in the face" Chris:"duhhh, I jus got brass knuckles"

Q: How does Lady Gaga like her meat? A: Exactly what her preference is.

What's the best thing about having sex with twenty six year old's? I am twenty one and prefer older ladies as I find them more experienced and mature.

There once was a man named bulagala moo moo boom chicka boom. Sometimes, when wipe the toilet tissue breaks and my fingers get all dirty. Good thing I have insurance!

how many jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? none their all dead.

What did the therapist say to the other therapist? We are both therapists

Uh, erm, uh...I don't know.

Q:What do you call a bird with wings? A:A bird -Ryan Vallee

A fish swims into a wall. Says dam.

The awkward moment when Delilah got hit by a bus.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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