Q. Why did the kid drop his tennis racket? A. Because he got run over by a tank!

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What do you get when you cross a cantaloupe and a dog? "Melon-choly"

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What did the contestant say to the game show host? If I don't win I will arrange to kill your family.

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Bob:Know who's really stupid? Rick:Who? Bob:Your mum.

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Why did the 100 year old man die? He was really old and his heart stopped beating after his BLT.

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Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- *Commits Suicide*

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What does Michael have in common with NASA? Not a lot.

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What's worse than seeing Levi naked? Cancer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To be eaten.

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Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -Why? I don't know,I'm asking you the question.

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Man: Did It Hurt Woman: Did what hurt? Man: When your legs were crushed after being run over by that semi

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whos gay and sits next to me? Griffen in my architecture class

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What's the difference between Jews and boy scouts? Boy scouts come back from their camps

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So there's this girl who really wanted red socks. She goes to the store, socks are $2. Well, that sucks, she thinks. I only have $1. So she goes home and asks her mom for a buck. Sure, the mom replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my vacuum cleaner. So the girl fixes the vacuum cleaner, mom giver her the buck. The girl goes to the store, but wait. Socks are $3 now. Girl goes home, asks her dad for a buck. Sure, the dad replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my car. Girl fixes car, dad gives het a buck. Girls goes to store.Well damn, the socks are $4 now. She goes home and asks her brother for a buck. Sure, her brother replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my computer. Girl fixes computer, brother giver her a buck. Girl goes to store and FINALLY buys the socks. She comes home. Mother dead. Vacuum cleaner exploded. For 1 month the girl mourns her mom. Finally she can wear her socks. Ah crap, car accident. After 1 month mourning her dad she can finally wear the socks. Well, turns out she can't. Brother dead cause of exploded computer. After yet another month of mourning, she can FINALLY wear her red socks. So she does. Suddenly the doorbell rings. The girl opens the door and there's a polar bear standing in front of her. What did the polar bear say? WELL NOTHING, BECAUSE POLAR BEARS CANNOT TALK!!!

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Why did the black guy lose the race? He toke an arrow to the knee

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Why isn't Billy Mays on TV anymore? Beacause Billy Mays was in a tradgic accident where a bowling ball fell on his head, and a couple days later he died of head trama. His family can't bear to hear his voice anymore.

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A man walks into the bar with his parrot, but sadly the parrot was attacked ferociously by a flock of seagulls and it died.

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a rabbi and a priest walk into a wall

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Why does a trash can smell bad? Because there's trash in it.

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Q. What do you call a black priest? A. Holy Shit

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Whats why was the 18 year old boy scared of his dad? Cause his dad butt raped him when he was 7.

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Why did Larry the Cable Guy say "Git R Dun"? Because he thought it was funny, and so did a bunch of other people for some reason.

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Why did the woman scream when she saw her brother? Because he had just come back from fighting in the Iraq war and she was extremely happy to see that he's alright

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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