Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It didn't, there were no roads back then

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What do you call the alarm system in a failing inner-city school? A dumbbell!

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Patient- "Doctor, doctor help me! I've only got 59 seconds to live!" Doctor- "I'll be there in a minute."

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Whats the difference between a sandwhich and a dead baby? People eat sandwhiches.

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Knock knock no answer, as the tenant of the house was out shopping.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, he can't come anyway.

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I watched The Pianist last night? Holocaust

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what's one thing we're all tired of but they still make? Those crappy love songs.

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Why did the hobo get hit by a bus? He wanted to kill himself.

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What did Santa Claus say to the young boy on Christmas Day? Santa Claus is a myth, that was actually a pedophile.

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A father and son are involved in a car crash. The father is killed, sadly, but the boy is rushed to the hospital. The doctor prepares for surgery, and since this boy has no family-connections to her, she performs successful surgery on him, and the boy goes home after 3-5 days.

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My did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because chickens can move and the road just happened to be in its path.

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In Soviet Russia, You drive the car, fill it up with gas and park it Just like in America

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what did the man with no arms and no legs get for christmas? a new hat

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Why didn't Angie die when she jumped off the Empire State Building? She landed on a pancake

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

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why was 6 afraid of seven? seven commited statitory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8, murdered nine, was sent to jail for life, let out early for community service, and told 6 he was coming forhim 6 months later.... 6 commited suicide by jumping off a cliff his body was never found his family didnt get to say good bye thats why 6 is afraid of 7

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So this guy is driving down the road and he is going real slow, he was going so slow in fact he wasn't even moving, because he was dead.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Not all poems rhyme Penis

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, You Have A Face That Belongs At The Zoo, Don't Worry I'll Be There With You, Not In The Cage But Laughing At You!!! :D

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You know you're drunk when you've spend a significant amount of time consuming alcohol.

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What did the 3 month old puppy get for Valentines day? Heart Worms. What'd he get for Christmas? Put down.

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Jesus walks on water, Humans are 70% water, I can walk on humans, Therefore i am 70% Jesus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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