A hispanic lesbian couple accidentally walk into a country western themed bar. And leave immediately as a bar is no place for their 2 year old son.

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Obama.

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How many blacks does it take to screw in a light bulb? blacks don't work

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? 124

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra drinks a bear and leafs .....

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A penguin walks into a bakery. The baker asks the penguin: "What kind of bread would you like? Brown or white?". Penguins answers: "Well, it doesn't really matter since I came here by car!".

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How do you drown a blonde? Hold their head under water.

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Your computer runs so slow that I had to run a virus scan.

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What happened when the president cut the hedge That is a highly improbable solution because he would probably have a body guard do it.

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Why did the police officer arrest the black guy? Because the guy was black and the police officer was racist.

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Math: "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 4 in the other, what do I have?" Answer: "An unreasonable amount of bottles to hold in two hands."

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I've had Alzheimer's for as long as I can remember... So since yesterday.... CHAYOTE ASTRONAUT SPACE SAY WHAT?!?!?!

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What's worse than a dead baby inside a microwave? A microwave inside a dead baby.

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Your dad is so dumb he tried to put M&M's in abc order

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Why did the man remain calm when the judge passed the death sentence? Because he was in another country and had no connection with the case.

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Why won't sharks attack lawyers? Humans tend to fight back, and sharks wouldn't usually be so hungry as to endanger their own lives in this way. Besides, most places where humans swim have shark barriers.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Daises are white And Pansies hold hands and skip

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I got shot once it hurt a lot

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Jesus can walk on water. Babies are 75% water. I can walk on babies. I am... In jail.

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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There were three brothers. Big, Harry and Dick. They were walking along the road and were all instantly killed by a drunk driver. Their names were never mentioned and their story was used as a promotion for the seriousness of drunk driving and should not be taken lightly.

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Q: What do you call a cow with no legs? A: Evolutionarily destined to be eaten by a predator such as a wolf or coyote, barring haing a defense mechanism that allows it to fend off such attacks.

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What is the name of the car? What

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What has four legs in the morning, three at noon, and two in the evening? A baby with leprosy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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