What's the best joke in the world? This one.

What is large white and if it fell out of a tree would kill you? A refridgerator

Knock knock Who's there? Me Me who? Me me Oh

Why did god make women? Because women are equally important when it comes to the birth to maintain or species.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor? -Cody Williams

What did the banker say to the other banker? We're both bankers!

A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

Why did the 15 year old commit suicide? Because his parents and 3 sisters died in a car accident and he went to live with his uncle, who constantly raped him.

Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was a woman.

There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

Why did the man die from drinking the water? It wasn't water, it was acid.

whats worse than 9/11? not much haaaa

when a midget takes weed, does he get high or medium???

Knock knock. Who's there? Tim. Tim who? Tim Smith.

A black man, a Jew, and a homosexual are at a bar together. They drink for a few hours, during which time they catch up with each other and share stories, as it has been some time since the three of them have seen each other. After they are done drinking, they call a friend, who comes to pick them up and take them home. What a fine example of drinking responsibly.

What's black, white, and red all over? A pile of dead nuns.

what types of people have big noses? people whose parents both carried the recesive gene.

Why was Bill in jail? He stabbed 17 black people because they didn't deserve welfare checks.

Yo mamma is so fat she needs a highly dangerous gastrointestinal bypass and if she dies you will wish she had made more of an effort to diet.

Why don't women like to have penises? Evidently women have different tastes than men in what body parts they enjoy having.

What happened when the kid tried to hang himself? He was overweight, so the ceiling fan that the rope was tied to fell out of the ceiling. When he explained this to his drunk mother when she got home, she reinforced the fact that he was overweight (his low self esteem was the root of his depression) and beat him. The next day, he just chugged antifreeze. This isn't a true story. Just calm down.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know why don't you ask him, o wait he's a chicken, you cant ask him. he is incapeable of speaking.

What was the black guy doing in Mississippi? Just hanging around.

Q : WHAT DID THE SMALL SHEEP SAY TO THE BIG SHEEP ? Z : BÆÆÆ

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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