I`m not as random as you think i`m salad.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock eater.

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What did the prisoner receive on his 44th birthday? Well obviously all mail in prisons is checked, but nothing dangerous was found. He received a book on different types of steam engines (he is a railway fan), some chocolate (galaxy caramel, which is his favourite), a crossword challenge book (he gets bored in his cell) and the anti joke book.

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roses are red violets are blue porn hub is down your mums facebook will do

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? He didn't, the farm this chicken was on had fences bordering it to avoid this very situation.

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A man goes to a petting zoo. He sees a zookeeper wrestling a bear. The bear kills the zookeeper and escapes from it's cage. It promptly mauls the rest of the staff and visitors at the zoo until it is shot by local police.

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What did the homeless man say to his friends? He doesn't have any friends.

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Whats hard and long and used to penetrate women? A hypodermic needle.

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whats worse then finding a bad antijoke on this site? finding a real joke on this site

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

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Why don't dinosaurs talk anymore? Because they're all dead, duh. :P

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dead battery come on down

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my d i c k in your a s s.

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What do you tell a women with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice..

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What's black and flies? Whatever it is, it's not a car.

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Why did the gay man's ass hurt? He has rectal cancer.

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A man and a midget walk into a bar each carrying a suitcase. They were stopping by after work.

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whats better than the london bridge burning down... all the jews burning down and getting put in bins .

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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why did Helen Keller cross the road? she didn't, she wasn't able to find it

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

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Wanna hear the most repeated joke on anti jokes? Why did [insert name here] fall off the swing? Because he/she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not [insert name here].

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Bob goes swimming in the ocean. Due to the fact that his father sexually abused him as a child, and never taught him how to swim, he drowns.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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