What's red and green and goes round and round? A kilt at a scottish dance

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children are much like potatoes. when you eat them, they die.

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A man comes home late from work what does he find? His wife and children murdered.

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Why wasn't my friend laughing at my jokes? Because his grandpa is dying.

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What do you get when you put a pig in an oven? A dead pig.

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What did the orphan get for Christmas? Nothing, the orphanage did not have sufficient funds to give everyone a present because they did not want to how favoritism because the orphans are already sad enough and te orphanage does not want the orphans killing them selves

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- Do you want to hear a joke? - No. - Ok.

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Why was Susie crying? There was a frog stapled to her face.

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carn ehney bodie hellp mie with mine smellings?

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What's 18 inches long and makes women scream all night? Cot death.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. His death was mourned by his wife and three children who wished he would not have been so reckless.

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Why was Mary's turkey dry on Thanksgiving dinner? Because she left it in the oven too long.

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Why do so many people troll on the internet? Because Hitler was awesome!

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One day, a mother was speaking with her daughters. "Mommy," the first one said, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we brought you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second daughter said, "Why did you name me Rose?" ""Because when we brought you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMBWWAAAAGGGH!" the last daughter cried. She was born with severe special needs and is incapable of coherent speech.

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So there's this cup that I own... I use it to aid in the drinking of my hot or cold beverages.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I was diagnosed as criminally insane Wanna be my friend?

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Roses are red violets are blue, he is for me and not for you, he's too ugly you can have him

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I'm called the! no i wish am I left

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What's Funny About A Black Man Being Shot? Nothing, That Man Was My Friend.

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how do you kill a jew? inject him/her with gratuitous amounts of cyanide until they cease to have brain function and a pulse.

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All work and no play makes Johnny successful in his field of interest.

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Why did it take so long for the baby's to paint my wall? I didn't throw them hard enough.

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Q: What do you call a Deer with no eyes? A: No ideer. Q; What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? A: Still no ideer.

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I was once a hamster.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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