A black man walks into a bar. The bartender, upon seeing him, asks him to leave. The black man is enraged by the blatant racism shown by this man, and proceeds to punch the bartender repeatedly. After 5 minutes of non-stop punching the man stops, looks at his victim, and is filled with remorse. He is dead. Upon looking around, the black man notices scaffolding and building equipment scattered around the room. He falls to the ground as he realizes the bar is still under construction, and unable to serve customers this early in development. The bartender was simply asking the man to leave for his own safety.

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What do Whitney Houston and MTV have in common? They both REALLY died in the 90's.

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IF circles are squares and squares are purple and i dont know what im talking about does that make all potatoes orange?

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Holy mother moley! Britain just brexited! Now there's no more Britain. Britain is all gone.

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If Chuck Norris has $5, and you have $5, Chuck Norris still has more money than you.

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What is the easiest method of making multiple women fall head over heels? Have a wingman help you raise a rope at the start of a women's running race.

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What did my dad say when i knocked over the christmas tree? nothing, my father is dead

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What did the anti-social man say to a girl Nothing

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What did the man with cancer say to the Holocaust survivor? "I have cancer."

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A man walks into a bar, muttering to himself. People stare at him because his severe Schizophrenia makes him stand out in social situations.

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2 sausages were in a frying pan. 1 sausage says it sure is hot in here, the other sausage says WTF a talking sausage!

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How do you tell if someone is a Jew? Ask them politely.

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A squirrel runs into a bar and out-runs the bartender to get some assorted nuts on the table then runs out of the bar

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"Sticks and stones" the man said and shat on three different complex turtles

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She got shot.

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What did batman do before getting into his batmobile? - Look for the keys.

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why did Suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms. knock knock? whos there not Suzie

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Why can't a T-Rex clap? Because they're extinct

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identical jokes get different votes.

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How do you kill a black guy? Shoot him in the temple

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what's the difference between a black man and a bench? the bench is an inanimate object

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I got a fever, and the only prescription is more ibuprofen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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