what did the 35 year old man say when he walked in his home last night? Nothing, he started crying because he saw that someone had viciously killed his guinea pig.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A woman was in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband. Shortly after she brings the sandwich to him and he thanks her seeing as his disabled legs prevent him from walking to the kitchen and making one himself. His wife later heads to her job as a firefighter.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did a blind man buy a violin. To learn how to play a violin.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

How can you tell that your friend just had sex with a blonde? The girl he just had sex with has blonde hair.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Stevie Wonder has put on a lot of weight since the 70's. I feel really bad for him because he can't watch what he eats.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Whatever you do in life, give 100%… unless you’re giving blood.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

the website says jokes, yet these are all facts.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why does your mother not love you anymore? Because she was in a tragic car accident 5 years ago and is now deceased and is therefore incapable of love.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What happened to the latino and asian man in math class when they had a test? They both recieved exceptional scores as they both helped each other study the night before.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

the world flooded and everybody died how did they die? the all fell into lava!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Whats the most fun thing you can do with hangers and a vaccum cleaner? -abort babies

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why does Susie fall off the swing? I shot her in the head with a pistol.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

4023145287

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A hero is nice to everyone, but one person. who is that? Your mom. WOOOOOOOT!! YOU JUST GOT MUSCLEMANED!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did the little boy run away from the beach? Hurricane Irene.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What sits in the corner of a room and gets smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

knock knock whos there jew jew who JEW YOU

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No, he hasn't either

thumb_up thumb_down

Yo momma is so poor when she went to the bank the teller was like " you have no money."

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Doctor, my husband tells me he doesn't like my figure .... That's irrelevant now, you've contracted a rare blood disease and will be dead within a month.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what did the banana say to the apple i dont know because bananas dont talk

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Two biscuits were sitting in an oven. One says to the other hows it going, the other says nothing because he knows that biscuits can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the Jew hate bananas? He was deathly allergic to them.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why couldn't little Johnny play sports like the rest of the kids? He was diagnosed with polio at the age of 3 and has limited use of his legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops