mental kid

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What do you get when you cross a pumpkin with a kangaroo? An irrelevant punchline.

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what do you call a bee that makes milk? A BOObee

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What time is it? I just looked at my clock on the wall. It is 9:14 AM Eastern Standard Time.

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- What's the difference between a squirrel? - It can neither fly.

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What happened to the man who fell off a cliff? He fell

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What did Michelle Obama get for Christmas? Cancer

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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You're so retarded that people make fun of you and you laugh with them because you don't understand and just want some friends.

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What's worse than watching 5 homeless men have an orgy? Waking up and having to clean the sheets

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What did the blind, deaf orphan get for Easter? Hepatitis.

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Lad: Whats that smell Girl: Nothing Lad: That is right nothing now get into the kitchen!

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Q: There was a cinnamon bun and a cow out flying, one of them fell.. who? A: The cinnamon bun because cinnamon bun's can't fly.

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84.52% of users disapprove of your post, plus or minus 3%.

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Identical jokes get different amounts of votes

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How do you get your children out of a cardboard box? You open the box to see your dead children's corpses

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Whats the difference between a baby and my freezer? I don't stick my meat in the freezer!

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Koalas mum is a slut

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What happened when the man was about to hug the sexiest person he ever saw in his life? He hit the mirror.

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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What do communists and strawberries have in common? You can eat them.

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Why did the girl fall from the swing? She was laughing at an anti-joke.

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How do Chinese parents name their children? With deep thought and consideration about a thoughtful, respectful and honorable name.

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If your reading this you will realize that this sentence means nothing and I have just taken 5 seconds of your life that you'll never get back.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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