Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not having an apple

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How did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it died. how did the second monkey fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the other monkey.

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Which is longer? A rope...

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A Priest, a Rabbi and a Shaman walk into a bar. The Bartender looks at them and says "What is this a Joke?"

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A: When was rhe last time you touched yourself? B: A few seconds ago when I had an itch on my arm

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I pissed myself the other day in Harrods when I saw a Somalian boy run up to a curtain saying mummy.

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What did Valerie get for her birthday? Nothing. Because no one loves her

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What is sad about four lawyers in a car driving of a cliff? The car fit six people.

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The grass is always greener on the give me a blowjob.

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Andrew: who's better at football, Peyton Manning or Tom Brady? Thomas: ur mom

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? He had cancer.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? -Hey! Where's my tractor?

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Why did the man jump off of the cliff? Because he was suicidal.

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Why was there no girl on the swing set? She decided to get off of the swings.

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What was the leg less and armless mans favorite type of music? Nubstep

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Roses are red Violets are blue I don't like rhymes Penis

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Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy wuzzy lost all his hair. Turns out he had brain cancer and died at age 30.

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Steve: Hey ask me if Im a Pelican. Bob: Are you a pelican? Steve: YES.

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What do you tell a women with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice..

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A Mexican guy, a black guy, and an ISIS member walk into a bar. The black and Mexican men, realizing the potential danger in the situation quickly exit the bar and alert the proper authorities. $

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Why is the Holocaust/Worm in your apple joke the highest rated joke on Anti Jokes? Most of the viewers of this website clicked on a thumbs up symbol directly below the joke, which by the coding of this website triggered an algorithm that caused the number adjacent to this thumbs up button to increase and also caused the joke to appear higher on the list of most popular jokes.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nobody cause your a loser.

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Lilys are from england violets from japan. I've got a knife now get in the van

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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