Whats the similarity between your mom and me We are both men except for your mom

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Q: What dosent a Jew and a pizza have in commen? A: The pizza dosent scream when you put it in the oven.

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What's worse than a 15 year old getting hit by a car? Adam Johnson

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Jimmy was skipping in the park one day when a young boy stopped him. "Hello there, would you like to be friends? We can go behind the old oak tree and play soccer!" asked the boy. "Ok!" replied Jimmy, and they went off together to play. The so-called 'young boy' was actually a wanted midget rapist. Jimmy was brutally raped and filmed. The film was later uploaded onto the internet where it blew up in a matter of weeks. Jimmy had to move schools 6 times and had to go to counselling every week. He finds it hard making friends and later went on to become a heavy cocaine addict.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She's dead.

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"Ask me if I am a Lemon?" "Are you a Lemon?" "Yes, ask me if I'm an Orange" "No, I'm a Lemon."

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What did Buzz say to Woody? A lot. There were 3 movies.

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Q. What is worse than being British???? A. Not being British

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A homosexual black man and a 13 year old child are in the shower at the local gym. The black man says to the boy "you dropped your soap, why don't you pick it up?" The boy promptly thanks the black man, picks up his soap and continues to shower.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse, thus lacking cognitive capacity to speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and promptly defecates on the floor then gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few chairs and tables.

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what does the doctor say to the patient. you have cancer

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Why did the lizard cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? Ask the starving African.

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What do you call a pair of banana peels? Trash.

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What did the Mexican say when a house fell on him? Nothing. He's dead.

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What's the worste part about alzheimer's disease? You forgot you have AIDS.

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what did the lonely boy get for christmas? the absence of a familly

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whats worse tan loosing checkers getting lit on fire

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A priest walks past a mailbox with the number 666 on it. Nothing happens, because it is an ordinary mailbox.

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A little boy starts to be followed by a man in a large white van. They come across an intersection, the boy turns left, and the man turns right.

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Bob: why didthe chicken cross the road? Tom: why? Bob: to get to your house Knock knock Tom: whos their Bob: the chicken

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Why couldn't the blond turn the TV on? Because she is blond.

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Why did the kid get out of school at twelve? He left early with a stomach ache

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your moms tits are so big she may have breast cancer she may have breast cancer which takes approximitely 300,000 lives per year

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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