At a feminist picnic there are no sandwiches.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you get when you put a pig in an oven? A dead pig.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you make a plummer angry? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Yo mama so fat! She should be concerned because diabetes is a serious problem that can lead to a heart attack. Also STOP EATING MCDONALDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

why did the duck fall in the water? It got shot

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A man walks into a 1980's style restaurant he takes a seat and orders his meal.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was an attempted suicide. His family left him, he had been in and out of rehab for a terrible cocaine addiction for over ten years, and was still having nightmares about his abusive past.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was six afraid of seven? Because Se7en was a scary movie!

thumb_up thumb_down -52

you and your family will die tonight

thumb_up thumb_down -11

%3c%2fa%3e%3c%2fh3%3e alert("The Game."); %3cScR%69pt%2ffoo%3eev%61l%28%27ale%27+%27ert%28%29%27%29;

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was the cancer ward sad? They just lost a patient who couldn't ward off cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Imagine: You are trapped in a prizon cell with no doors, no windows, no furniture and completely sealed in with nothing. What do you do? Stop imagining!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

a catholic priest and a young boy

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did Patrick buy an apple? So he can eat it

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did Big Dog say to Little Dog? "We are both dogs."

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Like Harry Potter? Like anti-jokes? Check these out: http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/recent/38139-why-did-dumbledore-fall-off-the-astronomy-tower-because-snape-killed-him http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/recent/38140-knock-knock-who-s-there-you-know-you-know-who-call-him-voldemort-fear-of-a-name-increases-fear-of-the http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/recent/38141-a-black-kid-an-asian-kid-and-a-jewish-kid-walk-into-a-barrier-they-are-students-at-hogwarts-school

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "We are both lawyers."

thumb_up thumb_down -12

how did the tree fall on the woman? it didnt, trees dont grow in kitchens

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

If I crash my car, how many trees does it take to cover my yard in orange juice, yellow, because a cat pissed on my foot.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends. How hard can you throw?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

how did the homeless man die? He got stabbed

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops