How do you know if you've been drinking too much? You find yourself in a closet screaming, "I'm in Narnia!!!"

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Knock knock Who's there? I Love You! -Harrison

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting doctor. Interupting doc- You have aids.

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A street performer was sitting on a curb playing guitar when a black man walked up and put some money in the guitar case. The street performer nodded in appreciation of the man's donation and continued to play his instrument.

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Why did the man answer his cell phone at 3 AM in the morning? Because his phone was ringing and was probably waiting for an important phone call

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10 people walk into a bar. 6 hours later, 3 more people walk into the bar. There are now 12 people in the bar, and one corpse in the dumpster out back.

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What did bob get his wife for christmas? Pregnant

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yo mama is so fat, she should seriously consider gastric bypass surgery, morbid obesity is extremely detrimental to one's health

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How many elephants can you fit in a car? Five. Two in the front, two in the back, and one in the glove compartment.

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whats worse then 9/11? -George W. Bush

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What happens when you cross a kangaroo and an elephant? Absolutely nothing. The two belong to entirely different animal families and their reproductive abilities are totally incompatible. A kangaroo could never fertilize an elephant, or vice versa. To suggest anything else is unrealistic and a physical impossibility.

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why wouldnt you come to the dark side? i spit in the cookies

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baby seal walks into a club

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The teachers cat is a fat cat and his name is ... why do even whant to know you stalker

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A professor of literature asked me, "Young Sir, why are you burning those books?" I replied, "Because I need a fire to cremate the bones of your 3 sisters that I violently raped and murdered" He smirked in a witty and arrogant fashion, until raising his head and saying, "Bond, James Bond" He continued to massage his dick with his own pubic hairs before collapsing and dying

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It only takes one drink to get me drunk.

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What did the black person say to the white person I'm black your white

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Two dogs went out for a walk. Then their master took them home.

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Q-"what did the carrot say to the plant" A-"nothing because neither one of these objects can talk"

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Why did the baby die? Because you had sex with it when it was only 1 years old.

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why did tom drop his ice cream he didn't because he had no icecream

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A platypus walks into a bar, and was the only mammal in the building capable of laying an egg.

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What's the difference between a ferrari and a sack of babies? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Your garden's on fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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