A kid wanted to change the channel... One thing leads to another.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would too if your name was mmfmffemuuuuuffuummuuuuuluuu.

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what do blondes and rocks have in common? they are both material and have extension.

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What do you call a hispanic man hopping a large fence? A hispanic man hopping a large fence.

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why was the black man scared of cats ? Because a gang of cats ate his family

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How many lemurs does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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A man walks into a bar but didn't say anything because he is mute.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

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What do a bike and a human have in common they are both objects

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Why did silly Miss Sally put her baby in the dishwasher? Because she was suffering from advanced stages of Schizophrenia. She thought that her baby was a dish. Her mother, Carol watched in horror as her granddaughter was placed inside. A tear dribbled from her eye. Things had been bad, but because Sally was her daughter, she had been tolerant. Carol sobbed as the baby screamed in terror, unable to escape. Finally, Carol, tears in her eyes, called Child Protective Services on her own daughter, something she didn't want to do. When CPS representatives finally came, they were horrified at the sight of a screaming baby covered in suds with burnt skin that had been scorched by hot jets. Sally's baby, Alex was taken from her and put into foster care.

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knock knock no ones home

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What's sad about black people that drink grape soda and eat fried chicken? The stereotypes are true.

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Your not having a bad day, your just doing everything wrong!

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Q: What did the terrorist do when he walked into the football stadium? A: Set off a bomb, killing him and others there

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Poop

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Hearpin my durp

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.ellipsis { text-overflow: ellipsis; /* Required for text-overflow to do anything */ white-space: nowrap; overflow: hidden; }

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there's a worm in my lime at least it doesn't have scurvy

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what do you get when you cross a jellyfish, a jar, and a brown crayon? i dont know, im not into genetics, and jars dont have genes.

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What did the Jew say right before a boy threw a quarter in a fountain? Make a wish.

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What is the difference between a cow and a clam one is bivalve and one is a mammal

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead..

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Whats worse than having no mother? Having no mother and father, enabling you to have to support a family at the age of 12, using the allowance that your parents are supposed to give you once a week.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the American family left the McDonald's with freshly bought chicken nuggets in their possession, and needed to cross the road to return to their home and eat said chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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