whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? a pizza does not have a heart

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A blind man walks into a bar After realising he might be hurt everybody rushes to his aid

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What eats McDonalds for breakfast, lunch and dinner, annoys everyone around them, and could care less about anyone but themselves? The population of the United States.

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Knock, Knock ..... ..... No one is home, they've been evicted.

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Why was the drunk person arrested? He said to a police officer "I'm gay, so shut up you b****."

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The first cow: are you worried about mad cow disease? the second cow: no, im a helicopter

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Whoa! A talking carrot!

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What's funny about suicide? Nothing, that's horrible.

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Michael Brown

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Knock Knock! Who's there? My arm! My arm who? My arm is everywhere!

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Knock Knock the door's open, come in

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Why was Joseph Kony at a primary school ? It was 3 o'clock and his children had just finished a long hard day learning to read and right and it was his turn to pick them up after him and misses Kony developed a schedule one late night after the odd glass of wine or two.

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What's the deal with airline food? Nothin. It's quite scrumcious.

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Barack Obama.

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Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: I have no Idea what you would call cheese which isn't yours. However, it seems quite trivial to take time to discuss a nonsensical topic such as cheese which isn't yours.

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what do you call a needle with two heads? a two headed needle

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Who let the dogs out? Their owner because he had come to the rational conclusion that they were cooped up in their cage all night and were in serious need of relieving themselves and needed love and affection

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How do you hit a clown off a swing? There are many was of acting upon this situation but the most successful approach would be hitting the clown with a heavy object,

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Why did Jenny fall off her bike? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Jenny

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter. It won't come to you regardless what you call it.

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What do you call a man that goes to work every day to provide for his family? A spoon

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How do you kill a blonde? There are countless ways to complete such a task all of which have infinite variations.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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