Wats wet and salty and people on the west coast get covered in it? Sweat.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why couldn't Larry walk his dog? Larry doesn't have a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

cats, swimming, northpole ,sky, park , tree , bench, anti joke. shut up you have a skin disease!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats worse than a dead baby at the bottom of a trash can? Two dead babies. Whats worse then that 5 dead babies and worse then that? Im starting to have suspicions of you being a mass murdurer of small children.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Girl: what comes after 69? Boy: 70. Girl: no,toothpaste! Boy: ...

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What kind of bread makes pickles? Dill Dough

thumb_up thumb_down +2

so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What would Ronald Reagan say if he was alive today? Nice to meet you my name is Ronald Reagan

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the blond fall of the ladder? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -86

how many dead guys does it take to screw in a light bulb? 6

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the underprivileged girl get for Christmas? Nothing because Santa Claus is a media generated holiday icon and the real St. Nicolas has been deceased for almost 700 years.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

There were 4 black people in a Cadillac driving off a cliff. The sad thing was it was a nice car.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What’s the difference between a frog and a duck? One is a frog and one is a duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you starve a black man? You don't feed him.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why do people poke people on facebook? Because they have no friends and will die alone

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Yo mamas so stupid that she received slightly below average in her latest maths test

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: What's full of different butts and smells bad? A: An ashtray.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Santa Clause, a smart blonde, and the Queen of England all jump out of a plane, which hits the ground first? Galileo's theory tells us that all objects fall at the same speed regardless of weight, so they all hit simultaneously.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How does Hitler like his juice? With pulp

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the black guy drown in the river?? unfortunately he owed 10,000 dollars to a loan shark and couldnt pay his dues So he was tied to an anchor and put in the river.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? This joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops