Q. How many leprechauns does it take to screw in a light bulb? A. Light bulbs don't exist

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What's the difference between jam and jelly? Jelly is a clear or translucent fruit spread made from sweetened fruit juice, and set using naturally occurring pectin. Jam contains both fruit juice and pieces of fruit.

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whats blue and looks like a bucket? a red bucket disguised as a blue bucket

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Q:How do you confuse a blonde preschooler? A:Calculus.

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A kid is Jackin off and his dad walks in and says if you keep jackin off you will loose your sight. the kid says dad im over here.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

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Nathaniel Nugnes walks into a bra

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Why did Ben Franklin Invent Bifocals? He's a jive turkey.

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What did the fish say to the human ? He didn't say anything fish can't speak.

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SCP-009-J is missing. Where has it gone? Is it under the table? Was it sat upon? Is it there on the ceiling? Is it under the rug? Was it gobbled right up by a quantum pillbug? Did it run through the tunnel? Did it fall down the stair? Was it sent back in time to a carnival fair? Did it get on a train to a far-away place? Is it locked in a falsified beacon from space? Did it fall in the oobleck and [DATA EXPUNGED]? If it clogged up the sink, will it have to be plunged? Just where has SCP-009-J gotten to? Oh wait, that's right! SCP-009-J is you!

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Knock Knock Who is there? *bang* The following story depicts the life and death of Bob:___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________then he opened the door and was shot in the face.

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What does AIDS stand for? Acquired immune deficiency syndrome

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Why did the black surgeon get fired? The hospital was low on funds due to the economic crisis, and had to let a few employees go.

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Google Doodles

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what do you call a man with blue eyes??? a man with blue eyes

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Roses are red, violets are violet. I'm not stupid.

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Whats red and bad for your teeth??? A brick!!!

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Q: Why is grass green? A: I painted it.

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Who wants $300? Me too.

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yo mama so dumb... because she was not properly educated

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What do you say to seduce a woman? Is that a mustache? WTF!

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Why did Jorge eat Larry's face? He was on bath salt.

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What did the pirate order for breakfast? Pancakes.

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was blind and deaf which impairs the ability to register sights and sounds necessary to operate an automobile.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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