There is a blonde a Burnett and a red head. Life goes on.

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Q: what did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A: We're both lawyers!

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A schizophrenic walks into a bar. He has dual personalities and does not realize that he has murdered his family.

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A black guy and a white guy are in a fight, who wins The white guy because they were in a fight over when the black guy was going to die.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? I've often heard that a room with a million monkeys with a million typewriters, given enough time; would eventually reproduce the complete works of Shakespeare. This seems to suggest that if something has an extremely low chance of happening, it will still eventually happen if enough attempts are made. However, I feel that the aforementioned scenario, given enough time to play out, would only result in a room full of dead monkeys. Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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Single man, interested in women. Profession: Particle Physicist. Looking for: A strong interaction with a strange, charming woman. One who will ride both up and down the roller-coaster of a relationship, that is not fussy about being top or bottom and that is not impartial to the many flavours of life. I look forward to you spinning me around; Yours Sub-atomically, Professor Quark.

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How do you get clean dishes? You wash them.

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What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy? Nothing. He can't talk, just makes awful noises and hand gestures.

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Q. What is the difference between a bird and a fly? A. A bird can fly, but a fly can't.

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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Why couldn't the woman give her sister a present? Because she just got eaten by zombies.

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Two men are walking along the Great Wall of China. "Do you know how many years it took to build this?" one man asked. "Yes," the other replied. "Me too."

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cats, swimming, northpole ,sky, park , tree , bench, anti joke. shut up you have a skin disease!

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen. Its was her funeral

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Why couldn't the kid go into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-13 and he was only 11!

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whats funny and has four wheels? A handicapped 11 year old boy getting raped by his father

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Roses are red violets are blue, he is for me and not for you, he's too ugly you can have him

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple. finding two worms in your apple. and being an orphan.

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I went to a magic show and the magician asked for my watch... He took the watch and then produced a doughnut... Guess what was in the doughnut? JAM!

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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A man walked into the bar and ordered a drink, drank it then stood up and left remembering that he once had a drinking problem and had overcome it.

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My mother in law fell down a wishing well, i was amazed, i never new they actually worked

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Your mother is so obese that she has over the recommended daily calorie intake on a regular basis.

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why did the monkey fall? he got hit by a train

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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