What do you say to an over weight Jewish mother? "Work on those crunches" He was her coach.

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How many ecotards does it take to change a light globe? Ve Vill Change all ze light globes to use;less grey vuns and you vill luv it or else ve vill kill you to save ze planet

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What do you call a black man who has become a millionare? A financhaly successful buisnessman who worked hard to be where he is today.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he wants to drink. He orders a beer.

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Guess what? You just lost the game.

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What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

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What's round, has two hands, and tells time? Some fat guy I know, with a watch.

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Have you ever watched that show on Lifetime about that woman?

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What did the farmer say to the woodchucks chucking his wood? Excuse me, not to be rude but i worked very hard splitting and stacking that wood and would appreciate it if you would stop throwing it in the water.

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sandwich. roller coaster. brain sprout. cholera, meander. time. rivet.porcupine. mayonaise. frying. x-ray forever.

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q: what do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex? a: sex, just like everyome else calls it

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What do you call a girl who disappears on the 3 May 2007? Madeleine McCann

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Roses are red my name is Dave this poem makes no sense, micorwave

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How do you kill a blue elephant? How? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? How? You hold it's nose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a orange elephant? How? You can't, they don't exist. How do you kill a white elephant? How? You tickle it till it turns pink, then you hold it's noose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Why did little Sally drop her ice cream? She got ran over by the school bus

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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knock knock your gay

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Why did the koahla fall out of the tree? It died.

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A gay man takes another gay man home after a wild night at the city's top club. They choose to be safe and not have gay sex.

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Whats green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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Your Mom

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What's worse than finding half a worm in an apple? Rape and child abuse.

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Paperclip... BANANA?!

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Why are you reading this joke? There is this nice 'Bad Idea T-Shirts' ad right there.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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