Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have alzheimers. Cheese on toast.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I'm black and I will beat your children. (This is not an anti-joke)

thumb_up thumb_down -2

nock nock who's there is me u idiot we aranged this yesterday

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Why was the man upset? Both sides of his pillow were warm.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the aisian man get pulled over? Because he was going over the speed limit .

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Can we still mine for gold in the American River? No, anyone seen mining for gold is considered a hobo and all the gold is cleared out by random people in the 17 century

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are Brown Violets are Brown I hate everyone on antijoke that steals what I write I fisted a cows butt hole.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why can't hank swim? Hank is a rock.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why couldn't the 13 year old get into the pirate movie? He has cancer and is dying in the hospitable.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

knock knock piss off

thumb_up thumb_down +23

women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -6

World Of Warcraft

thumb_up thumb_down -49

What did the kid with no arms get for christmas? No one knows he hasn't been able to open his presents yet.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

guess what my weiner dog did last night? pooped in my bed

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why didn't the boy want to go to school? Because it was 3am.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Two guys walk into a bar. But the third one was a duck.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock Knock Who's there? Can you sign for this package? Certainly

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A depressed man walks into a bar. He has a drink and heads back to his apartment. On the way he was killed by another man attempting to commit suicide due to depression.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Man walks into Malaysian Airlines "Hey, can I have the next flight to--" "This is our only policy! You pay the fare we pick the where."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A kid finds a bag of heroine. He is a good Samaritan and asks the nearest junkie if it belonged to him.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

So there's this moose right? And he walks into the store and asks where the potatoes are. And the cashier lady says aisle 5. So the moose walks to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops