Q: How do you find the population of Mexico? A: Take a census

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Why did the bear eat the asian? It was hungry

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What's worse than burning your bacon? Finding your daughter decapitated and raped in the basement.

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Your mom

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My mom was telling my brother how much it hurt when she stubbed her toe. He told her she should try child birth.

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Two cows in a field one says Moo the other says, Moo

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ey can i pick your scabs plzz

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs go for christmas? Cancer

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What's worse than a cow on the ceiling? - two cows on the ceiling.

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If God created the world, including man kind, why do we worship him? We are corrupt, selfcentered, animal slaughterers. He made us this. So, Why?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My room is a mess, Violets are still blue

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Why was the walrus wearing braces? It wasn't, because it his highly unlikely that people would care about a walrus's dental issues. The walrus would most likely cope with his irregular teeth and move on with its life.

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What is the greatest lie ever? "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was in a cage being carried by a farmer.

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(Knock Knock) Who's there? You were late paying your mortgage and now your house is being repossessed by the bank.

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What did Tarzan say when the elephants came over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill!

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What do you call a terrible Therapist that shoots coke up his nose? Sickman, Sickman Fraud.

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whats worse then finding a finger in your soup? - being a cook and losing a finger

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What's the difference between a cow and some dirt? They're the same except for almost everything

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Why did you chicken cross the road? C u n t.

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How do you get a person to jump off a cliff? You push them.

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What is red and green and goes 50mph? A frog in a blender

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There are two fish in a bathtub. One turns to the other and says "Could you please pass the soap?" The other one says "What do I look like to you, a typewriter?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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