If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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how do you tell a politician that you hate him? politicians can be female, too.

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What's been hit millions of times? A woman married to an abusive husband.

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What did the man say when he saw a giant herd of elephants coming? "Look! There's a giant herd of elephants coming!"

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I like to sniff your hair when you are asleep.

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Whats worse than getting a B+ in Biology? Getting raped by a scorpion.

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Why did the house burn down? Because I set it on fire.

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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roses are red, violets are blue when ever l flush the toilet i think of you

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This is an anti-joke.

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Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree? No.

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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Roses are red, Violets are purple not f**cking blue!

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't make for a very good accountant.

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sky's the limit said the tree a.w. j.p.

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what does the doctor say to the patient. you have cancer

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Why Was my mommy gone last night? -cause I ****ed her

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why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a rapist

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canaan and mallory

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What did the boy say before he died? I'm dying.

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What did the white male say to the black male who had just robbed a bank? I'm glad you have a reliable source of income to feed yourself and your family

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Why can't Micheal J. Fox draw a perfectly straight line? It is impossible for humans to draw perfect lines.

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--IT'S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!! --no it isn't. a clock only has numbers 1-12 for hours and 1-60 for minutes. "peanut butter jelly" is not in any of those number sets. what are you taking about?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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