What's green and fuzzy and has legs that would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table

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When is a Jewish persons bedtime? When the brain releases endorphins, causing drowsiness, which usually leads one to sleep.

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Why couldn't dracula's wife get to sleep? She had insomnia.

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What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? -They're both purple except the rabbit.

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Yo mama looks so much like a cardboard box, my kindergarten class graduated.

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A man had a blue hat, a yellow hat and a red hat. This man has three hats.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a toothpick

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What did Uncle Timmy give to Little John for his birthday? Sodomy.

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

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My Grandma has Alzheimers and always repeats what she says. My Grandma has Alzheimers and always repeats what she says. (Submitted by Aidan)

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A depressed man walks into a bar. He has a drink and heads back to his apartment. On the way he was killed by another man attempting to commit suicide due to depression.

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Why did Johnny throw the clock out the window? His parents are never around to supervise him.

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Roses are brown. Violets are brown. Who pooped in my garden?

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Why did the toddler fall over? He's an Iraqi child and has been shot in both legs, being readied for a public execution for fighting on the opposing side.

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A British man walks into a dentist's office.

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why do cats hate dogs? because cats were bullied by dogs in highschool.

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Why was the little kid sad at a funeral. He was actually happy and he was at six flags

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because she had no arms or legs.

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Why did the black man jump off a cliff? He's been emotionally unstable ever since he witnessed the brutal murder of his parents as a child and could no longer live with himself, so he decided to commit suicide.

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A polar bear walks into a bar, sits down, and says, "Can I have a.........................beer?" The bartender asks, "Why the large pause?" The bear responds, "I have a speech impediment"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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A student exclaimed "This test is a piece of cake!" He ate it.

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What is worse than adolf hitler? Justin beiber

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Knock Knock! Who's there? I am.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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