What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Repeatedly raped by her alcoholic, child molesting father.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Microsoft Windows

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Q: Where does Cher sit? A: I have no idea.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the cat say to the hamster? Meow

thumb_up thumb_down -25

look this kid up on facebook and spam him!! its funny, Josh Noonan, also his cell number is 603 560 3399....

thumb_up thumb_down -10

My friends and family all recommended me for alcoholics anonymous, but all i had to say is that my father didn't raise me to be quitter.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? BECAUSE HE WAS DEAD.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A blonde tries to kill herself cutting both her wrists.Why didn't it work? Because her boyfriend found her just in time and managed to stop the bleeding and took her to the hospital. After some years of therapy they got married and lived happy together for the rest of their lifes.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

an autistic child eats its family's dogs poop and dies

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are *yanks hair* Violets are *yanks hair* *sobs and yanks hair* I have tricolomania

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what do you call a polar bear in a bathtub? No soap, radio

thumb_up thumb_down -32

I always tell people " I have the heart of a child! " Then I continue "It's in a jar on my desk"

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A Jew, Christian and a Muslim walk into a bar. They have fun there a good time and then they go home.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

NEVER

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What is wrong with this phrase? The next line is false. The first line is true. Answer: llamas

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: What's grey and rocky? A: A grey rocking hair

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats the difference between garlic bread and a Jewish person? Garlic bread doesn't scream in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's the difference between a woman and the Universe ? One is full of mysteries mankind may never understand, the other is, well, the Universe.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why was the blonde sad? Her phone was broken due to an NNEMP.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

You life story is the perfect cure for insomnia. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, seeing as the slaughterhouse was directly across the road from the farm where the chicken lived, the man who owned the farm led his flock of chickens across the street when they were of age and fattened up so that they could be inhumanly massacred in order to process an order of chicken nuggets.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A: Knock knock! B: A: Guess no one's home.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why do women go to the bathroom together? To clean their filthy pussies.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Carol never wore her safety goggles. Neither did Hellen Keller.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops