why was the baby crying? cause his abusive father broke his arm.

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Your mother sleeps around so much that I worry that she may be taking too much medicine for her insomnia.

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What happens when you cross a Labrador and a Poodle. A species of dog that has been cross bred.

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what did helen keller say when she dropped a box on her toe. nothing. helen keller cannot speak

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What did the nerd say to the cheerleader? Wouldn't you like to know? Mind your own business.

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A russian gives away vodka.

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Why did the Monkey Fall out of the tree? ..It was dead..

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Why was the man choking? He was eating to fast.

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What did the man do when he was tired Nothing he went to bed

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Why couldn't the morbidly obese man get on a cruise ship? He didn't have a ticket.

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I've got a joke for you. The people writing these jokes. Thats a joke.

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What do you call a black man in court? A lawyer.

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What happens when a fat guy falls ? Ohio has another earthquake.

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What did the monkey say to the other monkey Monkey can't talk

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What comes after "Q" R

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Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

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Roses are red, Violets are not blue, they're violet, which is why they're called violets.

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Why did the old man die? He was old.

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what's funnier than a pile of dead babies? pretty much everything because dead babies aren't a laughing matter

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Two hunters are in the woods. One of them clutches his chest, falls to the ground, and loses consciousness. In a panic, the other hunter calls 911 and tells the operator that his friend might be dead of a heart attack. The operator says "Before we send a coroner instead of an ambulance, first make sure he's dead." The hunter says "Alright." There is a pause and then BLAM! "Okay," says the hunter, "now what?" The operator follows standard procedures to keep the hunter on the phone, lucid and calm. 45 minutes later, police reach the scene, arrest the hunter and begin a months-long investigation. Forensics determines that the dead hunter was likely alive prior to being shot in the face at point-blank range. The defendant is charged with first-degree murder and receives a 30-year sentence. On the 9th year of his sentence, he is stabbed in the chest 6 times by an initiate in a rival prison gang and dies the next day. He was 53.

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A Chinese, American, and German were all on the a boat sinking off the Border of the U.S. So the American called the U.S Coast Guard and they were rescued and taken to a nearby hospital. Two of the three members are still alive today and haunted by the memory of that day.

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this kid named terry stockton lives in craig beach ohio is gay

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: Doesn't matter, he's not coming

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What is "race car" spelled backwards? rac ecar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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