Knock knock. Who's there? Awkward silence Awkward silence who? ...

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My friend asks me what my mom does for a living and i told him that she is a nurse. Then he says "That a good job because she is able to save lives". I quickly reply "She works in an abortion clinic".

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What did James say when he couldn't find his car? "My name's James".

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How do you make a blond shut up? Staple her tongue to the roof of her mouth and super-glue her lips together.

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What time is it? It depends in your location and time zone

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Went to the corner shop - bought 4 corners.

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Two construction workers are working on the final floor of what will soon be the worlds tallest building. The first turns to the other and says: "Hey tom can you throw me a three quarters hex wrench? i think my set is metric." the second guy turns around and says: "yea, here you go."

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why did the money fall out of the tree... because he was dead

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My love life

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue If You Bend Over Some More I'll Eat That Booty Too

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How can you tell if someone is a global warming alarmist? Their IQ on average is 10 points below normal

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what do you call a black man on the moon? an astronaut.

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Knock, knock. Knock, knock. Knock, knock. Guess no ones home.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long mane?"

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He didn't. He slowly ate it on a warm day although it's taste was somewhat of a disappointment.

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Two dogs walk into a room. What a fine example of two dogs walking into a room.

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Roofs are Red...I have a Cunt!!!

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what did hellen keller name her dog? answer: unnumnumnum

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No, we are all different, none of us are the same, you however, have no match, your ability to think influence and inspire even today, is unmatched. It is he who is unmatched, who stands alone.

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If you are riding uphill in a canoe and the wheels fall off, how many pancakes does it take to fit in the dog house? None. Ice cream has no bones.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? STOLEN! You're under arrest.

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Write your own

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"Doctor," I said while poking my head, "My head hurts!" I poked my knee. "My knee hurts, too!" Then I tried touching my arm. "OW! So does my arm!" I even tried poking my teeth. "OUCH! Even my teeth hurt! What will I do Doctor?" "That's easy," said the Doctor, "I'll fix your finger right away."

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What's the diffrence between a pizza and a black man. One is human being while the other is an inanimate food source.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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