Q: What did Helen Keller say to the bartender? A: "I would like a bud lite please" it was a different Helen Kellar

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what do you call and man that has a twitch every time someone say tissue broken arm, leg, hand, collar bone and there iphone? A mentally and physically demented man that needs serious help from a psychotherapist otherwise matter would get increasingly worse

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered 6 offender. And there was nothing funny about that.

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A cat walks into a bar. He orders some beer. The bartender asks, why the sad face. The cat replies, "I got laid off"

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Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? He was on his way home from work and saw some youths loitering on the street corner and thought it best to avoid them and therefore any possible confrontation. He would also appreciate it if you would call him something along the lines of Bravery impaired instead of a chicken as he finds it offensive and doesn't fully understand the avian reference to his lack of confidence.

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Why was the little boy sad? Both of his parents died in a tragic car accident.

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what has 2 legs and red all over half a cat.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It's abusive father punted it.

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What's good about sex with twenty-three year olds? There's twenty of them.

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wanna hear a dirty joke? ...trashcan

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Why was the guy stupid? 'Cause he was!

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What do you get when you combine a potato and an apple? A nice Apple Potato Souffle...

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Knock-knock. There is no reply. The burglar makes sure no one is home and breaks into a side window. After stealing some precious jewelry and family valuables, he exits through the same window.

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A walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" Not getting a response, the disoriented bartender realizes he was talking to his own reflection in the mirror at the back of the bar.

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What do you call a black guy driving an airplane? A pilot

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(Two person joke for an audience Joke Teller. "What's the difference between a rabbit and a cowsay?" Accomplice "a what?" Joke Teller. "a cowsay?" Accomplice "what's a cowsay?" Joke Teller. "Mooooooo"

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Why did Dom stop smoking? Because he died

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A white guy, a black guy, and an asian guy are all sitting on a park bench. They share several minutes of uncomfortable silence due to cultural differences.

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What do you call a kid on crutches? Crippled

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Why didn't the guy have kids? He didn't want them

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Why didn't the Mexican have a job? Because stereotypes made employers unjustly reluctant to hire a hard-working, competent man.

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HAHAH MY WORD IS HAPPY CLAPPY

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How many tickles can you give an octopus? Ten tickles

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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