Q: how many oxen does it take to row up the empire state building in half of a green canoe under the purple sun while eating a dead moose with no arms? A: Purple, because snakes have no elbows.

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? Jews are people

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What's worse than a dog peeing on your new flower garden? A terrorist attack.

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What is 69? A two digit number.

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Why did the guy eat his mom? people get hungry in this world

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Why did the cat explode on the street? Cause i put a grenade in a fridge and then threw it at it.

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whats white and black, and red all over, kiren poping jacob cherry

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- Hey, guess how many people are dead in that cemetery? - I don't know. How many? - All of them.

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What do you call a sober man driving a car? a designated driver

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It was a stormy night and a stinking boy was running away from the co-op, he was clutching onto his pocket and constantly looked over his shoulder.... panting the boy reaches for a rusty door handle he opens the door quickly and shuts it behind him. "mam i got tea" said the boy "thanks david we will eat tonight for once" said a big chinned pharaoh.

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Why was Jane absent from school today? Because she got mugged on her way there, and soon after was hit by a passing bus.

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what black and white and read all over? a woman who has just been beaten and raped and left to die in the snow.

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how does hitler drink soup ? with a spoon

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Haikus are awesome but sometimes they don't make sense hippopotamus

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Whats worse then walking into a door? getting shot in the head by a 10ft squirrel holding 44.magnum and a slice of cheese in the other

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what do you call a white guy on a bus load of blacks guys? probably his name...

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What has two legs, takes away your money, and causes depression? A Democrat.

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Roses are Grey Violets are Grey I am a dog.

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milly, milly, milly, cat

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Why did little polly fall off her her roof? Because she saw a ice-cream van

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How do you make Sasuke cry? Kill his family

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A man walks into a bar. He is knocked unconscious, and passers-by rush to his aid.

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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