Why'd the chicken cross the road? After losing its family, the chicken had became an adrenaline junkie and enjoyed the rush of doing such dangerous things. It subsequently became addicted to opium.

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A black teenager drives an Escalade His father is a prominent lawyer and his mother is a neuroscientist.

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You's so ugly you should consider facial reconstruction surgery if it's covered by your insurance.

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On a deserted island in the middle of nowhere three women have just been in a horrible boat wreck. They are okay and alive. One is a lovely smart brunette. An appealing ginger. And a blond.. named Becky. They take shelter when one of them notices a shimmer in the sand. They pick it up to discover that it was a golden lamp. They rub it and a blue cloud of smoke consumes them. Then a magnificent Guinnie appears and says "You have awoken me from my 10,000 year encasement inside that lamp! I shall grant you 3 wishes to show you my sincere gratitude." The brunette wishes for a plane so she can fly home. The ginger wishes for a boat to sail back home. The blonde was lonely so she wished that the brunette and the ginger were back with her.

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What did the man say after falling off the bridge? Nothing. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

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So 3 Jews walk into a bar, I lied, it was a gas chamber.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it got out of it coop and there was something shinny on the other side of the street.

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Haikus are useful Actually they are not.... ....I am so sorry

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What did the penguin do in the desert? Die.

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because it is very difficult for someone with a vision impairment to operate a vehicle.

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What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? Neither one can ride a bicycle.

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What did the Leah say to the Pawneez? AWWWW YEAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police. Your father's been taken to county jail for his third DUI.

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What's worse than dropping an ice-cream cone? A dead baby. What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies. What's worse than two dead babies? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Dropping two ice-cream cones.

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What happend to the man who walked into a forrest? He got raped by a giant vicious mutant spider

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Lucy laughed at the joke. Then realised she had gangrene.

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Yo momma is so fat, when she wears a bathing suit, people are like, wow, that woman is fat.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Sir, your wife has been killed. Please open the door so that we may discuss this matter. The man then opens the door and listens to the tale of how a disgruntled worker opened fire in a grocery store, killing 13 people including his wife. Unable to cope with this and the fact both his parents passed away earlier that year he later hangs himself soon after the police leave.

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Why was the boy wearing pyjamas? It was his bed time.

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What is it called when you kill a gay man? Homocide

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Hi, how are you doing? Good how about yourself? Fine, thanks. Nice weather we're having Yeah, not too bad Have a nice day You too

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Whats orange and looks like an orange? An orange.

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carn ehney bodie hellp mie with mine smellings?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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