Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like saying the colors of flowers... how about you.

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What's the difference between a car and 10 dead babies? I don't have 10 dead babies in my garage.

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What did the man say to his wife before she made him a sandwhich? Do your job and make me a sandwhich.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to th party? Because he was dead.

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Nero, seriously, one way or the other, ill kill you, my mom blushes like every time people talk to her so fuck you, my sister if you touch her, ill.... Man, stop and ill forgive you, and I am very very sorry, now stop sending me those pics, and please do not post them anywhere, Line would not want to.

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What's black, white, and can't turn around in a phone booth? A nun with a javelin through her chest.

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How do spell____? awk moment when u try asking someone how to spell something over text but they have no idea what ur saying

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Why isn't Billy Mays on TV anymore? Beacause Billy Mays was in a tradgic accident where a bowling ball fell on his head, and a couple days later he died of head trama. His family can't bear to hear his voice anymore.

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Why was the baker rich? Because he had a lot of money

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JUSTIN BIEBER PERFUME!

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A dog walks into a bar. the owner of the bar didn't allow animal in his bar and he helped the dog outside again

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Well... My reputation is still kinda exaggerated apparently. What you experienced is called astral projection, some people claim it is the same as lucid dreaming, I beg to differ, the difference is vast. You basically just admitted that people believe much more in you, than you believe in yourself, without believing hypnosis does not work, people are like "bah its just suggestions", its true, but underestimating the power of suggestions is a pretty bad call.

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Weebles wobble, but paralyzed kids fall down.

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these are shit

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a giraffe? A really f*cked up hybrid.

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my candy brings all the kids to the yard and i'm like- get in the van.

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Baaaaaaahhhhhh

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What is colored and looks good hanging from trees? Oranges. Get your mind out of the gutter!

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Can I have a dollar? I don't know, can you?

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what did hercules parents tell him? You're adopted

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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-knock knock -i'm not at home, go away!

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Q: what did the emo girl use to check her email? A: A computer.

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"Bitches are fake, talk shit get hit!". False, female dogs cannot speak in the tongues of humans, and if they could I am sure excrement would not come from their mouths.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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