Wanna hear a joke? Womens' rights

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How do you steal from a sushi buffet? You say please.

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Q: My hands are queefing vaginas A: Milk isn't wearing underwears

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Knock-Knock Who's there? The UPS guy dumb ass

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Donald trump walks into the whitehouse. He's there for a business meeting with the new president.

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A bunch of nuns were riding a three-seat bicycle. The seats were comfy and no one complained.

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How do you stop the skunk from smelling, you rip it in half and bury the body therefore stopping the smells from escaping.

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Someone asked me yesterday why my friend Portier is named after a sports car... I mean, fair enough, it is a common misconception but they live in the country and her Dad drives a tractor; think it through. [L]

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I enjoy the fact that the jokes I post that do not make me laugh, are the ones that get zero thumbs, while those that at least make me smile, get at least a couple, I admit thought that its hard to keep track with me, I type jokes so fast that they disappear in the back before people can thumb them... Have you heard... Of the dog that was barking up the wrong three? The three said: Damn dog! I am not a tree! The dog kept barking, as dogs do not speak. Moral: Numbers speak fluently in most languages though...

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What did one muffin say to the other? I don't know, but you need a psychiatrist.

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Three women, a blonde a brunette and a readhead, jump out of an airplane without wearing parachutes. And this is why women should stay in the kitchen.

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What's worse than finding your cat dead? Finding your cat dead because it choked on your goldfish.

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Why couldn't the pirate go to the movies? He had scheduling conflicts

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What's black and can't speak? A garbage can.

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

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what do u say to a man walking down the street nothing, u shouldnt talk to strangers

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A horse walks into a bar and sits down on a stool. He orders a beer. He drinks his beer and leaves. Life continues on as it was.

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what's the difference between rice and an asian? one is a food.

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Knock knock whose there alzheimers alzheimers who get in the van

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What did the pirate say when his parrot died? Nothing. He was upset and didn't really feel like talking.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your son just died of terroristic bombing.

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Lukas: can i have a cigarette? Scott: i dont know can you? lukas: may i? Scott: NO

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What's worse than discovering a hornet's nest next to your house? Being raped.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. To get to the other side. Original anti joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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