Whats black and runs really fast? Usain Bolt

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What does a casino have in common with a woman liqur in the front, and poker in the back

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what do you do when a dog bites your ear off? you see that you are bleeding then you scream.

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How did the Mexican get into the United States? He applied for a Visa and was granted authorization to live and work in the United States on a permanent basis.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your physician, you're going to die.

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Why was the girl angry? She's PMSing. Give her a banana and stay away.

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A drunk guy walks into a bar and falls flat on his back. Upset, he then finds a bathroom. An hour later he is arrested for beating off in the bathroom. off is pressing charges.

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Why didn't Jacob marry Bella from Twilight? You have to be real to marry someone

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Dave: Hi John! John: I have Aids.

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If I had a gun with only 2 bullets, and was in a room with Hitler, Osama Bin Laden, and you; i would shot Hitler and Osama because they committed terrible crimes

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A man in a state penitentiary drops his soap. He then picks it up and continues his shower.

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How did Swiper steal Dora's stuff? He shot her and then took her backpack.

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What's brown and red but looks purple? Mixed paint!

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a homicidal maniac.

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Why did the man get fired from his Job? The boss became his ex girlfriend 2 minutes ago

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I like it it the butt -Tyler James Nehring call me 863-670-1547

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I enjoy the fact that the jokes I post that do not make me laugh, are the ones that get zero thumbs, while those that at least make me smile, get at least a couple, I admit thought that its hard to keep track with me, I type jokes so fast that they disappear in the back before people can thumb them... Have you heard... Of the dog that was barking up the wrong three? The three said: Damn dog! I am not a tree! The dog kept barking, as dogs do not speak. Moral: Numbers speak fluently in most languages though...

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roses are red leather is black when god made you he was smoking crack

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What's so great about twenty-three year olds? There's twenty of them.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I killed your family, and now i'm coming after you.

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Hi, my name is Jake.

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Whats big and blue and white and if it falls from a tree its sure to kill you. A fridge with a denim jacket on.

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Dad: "Happy birthday, son! Let's go get a beer." Timmy: "But dad, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are, we hope that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing.” Timmy's mom had just died of cancer a few days ago. A friend walks in the door, not knowing Timmy's mom died just a few short days before his birthday. He screams, "Happy birthday!" TImmy: "Damn. I'm not going through this again."

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What did the man dying of cancer want for his birthday? To live.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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