what did the duck say to the monkey.............. QUACK!!!!!!!!

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What is the first letter of the alphabet? A. a B. 7 C. Mustard gas D. Because a penguin has 2 legs

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Why did the black man walk into KFC? He was terribly hungry and had a reasonable amount of currency with him to purchase food for his well being.

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What did the man with one arm get for Christmas? A benchpress

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What's white and red all over? A white guy who walked in the ghetto.

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Why does an ostrich have such a long neck? Because its head is so far from its body.

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"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

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How do you fix America's national security issues? Nuke russia

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What happened to the turtle that was on land Dead

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A: Want to hear a funny joke? B: Nah, I'm okay

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sure!

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How do you blind a Chinese man You put a blind fold on him

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Have you seen Andrea Bocelli's new house? No. He hasn't either.

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what is worse than finding a fly in your coffee been raped

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A black man walks into a bar The bartender tells him they don't serves blacks The black mans calls the Police and the bartender is arrested for Discrimination

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Knock knock. Who's there? A bad joke.

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What do you do when you go downstairs in the middle of the night and see your VCR floating in the middle of the living room? Run and cower in fear in this seemingly impossible situation.

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what's worse than one scoop of ice crea falling on the floor? - the holocaust what's worse than two scoops of ice cream falling on the floor? - nothing

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What does Lady Gaga call Hitler? Nothing special because she doesn't refer to him in everyday's speech.

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What is shaped like a duck without a beak? A duck that I punch the beak off of.

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What's red and smells like green paint? The rotting corpse of the old lady I poisoned with green paint.

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How do you drown a blond? Hold her head under water until she finally stops thrashing around.

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Your momma's so dumb, she had to spend an extra hour studying for her mathematics test.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops