What has two thumbs and is very pale? A dead baby.

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Hey, I want to because you are really sweet and deserve it, and damn you are hot, but thats secondary in your case, in every case actually, otherwise I would just be doing it with meat whose soul and thoughts I hate/dislike/detest/etc, and that is not who I am. Once huh? I mean I said night/day/shower/breakfast table... Not so sure I can last for that long with a girl as hot and sweet as you for that long. Kidding, hey, best friend huh? Wow, I mean that`s really sweet, and you are really a special friend to me, but uh, to be honest, best friend? I barely know you... I hate this part of myself, I am blunt with that honesty thing, I may just have insulted you, but you know, I also need to be able to live with myself If I am going to enjoy life.

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A man walks in to a wooden door. He's blind.

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Q: What's the difference between sheetrock and drywall? A: nothing. It's just two names for the same thing.

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What is dark, funny looking, black, and rhymes with osama? A black lama.

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I wonder what happen to John? Oh John I know what happen to him. What happened to him then? He was playing on the bridge and fell off on accident. Is he okay? Damn women of coarse he is not okay!!!

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What is the difference between a horse? All the legs are of same length, especially the back ones.

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A dyslexic Irishman walks out of a bra.

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I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac. Unless they were having sex with my corpse.

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What's the best anti joke? this one

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It was a dark night, I was walking home from the shops in town, The wind was whistling through my damp hair, My spine tingled and i tucked my hands under my stinking pits. I felt like someone was watching me, I walked faster the breath was warm on my kneck i turned around. It was gary glitter he pulled down my pants and gave me the best sucky i ever had. We kissed and i tasted the cheese from my knob. In all garry glitter has a giant knob

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How did the blind man end up in the hospital? He didnt see the bus coming.

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justin bieber walks into a bar, he is then kicked out because he's under age.

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Whats the difference between a quarter and a penny? 24 cents.

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roses are green violets are red im shooting heroine into my head

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Q: What was the little boy doing in the deep end of the swimming pool? A: Drowning.

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What do you call a black guy with a fan? An African American male Homo Sapien who is most likely hot and sweaty and is probably trying to create cold air and then reduce how hot they are likely reducing the sweat glands natural instict to create ameliorate of sweat and then make him feel better.

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Why did? Yes

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a robber walks into a bank. he steals everything and kills the guards

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What did Kim Kardashian say when she got a breast implant? DERP!

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Your mama's so fat.

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Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy but get in the van

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Why does beonce say to the left, to the left. she doesnt she sings it.

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A father and his son get into an accident and are whisked away to the hospital. The father dies, and the son is brought into surgery. The doctor is rushed in, but looks at the boy and says "I can operate on this boy, his my son." How is this possible? The boy's father was a zombie.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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