Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing? A. She had no arms Q. Why didn't she get back up? A. She had no legs Q. Why did no one help her up? A. She had no friends Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing A. She had no arms You: knock knock Other person: who's there? You: not Lucy

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how do you warm someone up? you set their house on fire.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sausage is brown, and so is my wife.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzy, she has no arms

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The man decides to jump off the bridge and decides to make one last phone call. "Hello, Jane, this is Doug. I just wanted to let you know, from the bottom of my heart, that I love you." Person on the phone says "This is not Jane, this is Joe." "Oh, hi, Joe. Could you just tell your wife what I said. Bye." The man continues to jump down the bridge and swims with his beautiful girlfriend. They all had a great day.

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LO AND BEHOLD!

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What time did the Chinese man go the dentist? About 5 minutes prior to his appointment

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A dyslexic man walked into a bra.

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Damn, I was gonna do my laundry but Amanda Todd drank all my bleach

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What is black and white and red all over? A dalmation that was hacked to death with a machete.

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Why was the homosexual sad? Because his parents kicked him out, it was illegal for him to be married, and he had a difficult time being accepted by the society into which he was born.

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Where's my shotgun

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. And that's when I found out my Uncle Ted was a cross-dresser.

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Why did sarah fall of the swing? she has no arms. Knock knock. whos there? not sarah.

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Why was Sally's dad crying? Because Sally got raped. Why was Sally crying? Her dad raped her.

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" Want to hear a good anti-joke?! " " Sure! " " Me too. "

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What's funnier than 100 dead babies? Everything.

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There once was a man from berlin He knocked on a door to go in He got such a fright When the house did ignite That he never went knocking again

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- what do u call a dead black person a problem - what do u call a lot of dead black people a big problem - what do you call a mass killing of all black people. genocide

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Five guys one rape.

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What do you call 10,000 lawers jumping out of a plane? A good start.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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