What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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I'm a lion hear my threat **** you ***** and then go **** yourself. if your scared and you know it and you really want to show it crap your pants.

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a man killed wife. he successfully rid the scene of all evidence and buried the body under a bridge. unfortunately he forgot to bury the head and went to jail for life.

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What did the litlle boy get for christmas? The toy which he could only dream about. His father got cancer.

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What do you call a blonde driving the wrong way down the freeway? Well that depends on what her parents named her, or whether she happens to have a nickname of sorts.

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What do you call a fish with no eye? A fsh

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Why couldn't the college student get on the internet? He can't afford a computer.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven. Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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How do you drown a blonde? A: Drowing any person no matter the color of their hair is conpletely illegal and considered murder.

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roses are red, violets are red, bushes are red, flowers are red, trees are red, my garden is red... HOLY CRAP MY GARDENS ON FIRE!!!

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Whats black and red and dead? Nobody could tell, but they were sure that it wasn't a dead black person, so stop being racist!

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roses are red violets are blue the stems are green they smell good

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Why did the man run over Suzy? He was a serial killer

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What's worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it? Getting brutally raped by a giant transvestite donkey witch.

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What's green and has wheels? The farmer's tractor.

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a dad farts in the woods nothing else happens

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What's a Mexican's favorite sport? It varies from person to person.

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What green and has wheels? grass I lied about the wheels

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Why did the gay man not walk straight? Because I took a jack hammer to his foot

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What did David say to Goliath? Not sure, does anyone have a Bible?

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What's hard, long and full of seamen? an erect penis.

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Why could'nt Boris fit in with the other kids? His name was Boris.

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What did the homosexual say to the purse walking down the street? - I'm a homosexual.

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Q: What do you call a unicorn on a mountain? A: Freaking sick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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