An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman all walked into a bar. But, the bartender was not happy, as he had noticed that each of them were wearing tops with rude slogans on them. The Bartender said to the Englishman, "you do know that your t-shirt isn't suitable for the children in here, don't you?" "Oh," said the Englishman, "I'm sorry, I'll go home to change it at once." Next, came the Irishman, who's top was slightly worse than the Englishman's. The bartender said to the Irishman, "you do know that the joke on your jumper is sexist, don't you?" "Oh," said the Irishman, "I'm sorry, I'll go home and change it at once." Last, was the Scotsman. The Scotsman's top was particularly bad, and the bartender especially did not want this top to be seen in his bar. So, the bartender said to the Scotsman, "you do know that the slogan on your cardigan is racist, don't you?" "Oh," said the scotsman, "I'll go home and change it at once."

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the little boy cry and run home from the store? Because the store was out of pickles.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why was the Jew sad Because it was Christmas.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the German say to the Jew? Welcome to Germany we hope you enjoy your stay

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why didn't junior say thank you for his christmas present from his dad? He was raised by two moms

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the dog kill the fish? He had no reason, he just wanted fish. What, you thought he had like, a vendetta? pssh your crazy

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's worse than loading babies into a garbage truck. Answore: unloading them with a pitch fork.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why are elephants gray? So you don't get them confused with blueberries.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A girl asks her best friends: Why are you only wearing one earring? The best friends replies: Because I took the other one out.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the chicken cross the road? Segregation

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's sadder than the Holocaust? Not a lot of things because it was probably one of the most depressing series of events that happened in the 20th Century.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the boy Drop his Ice Cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A Jew, a black guy, and a redneck are walking down the street because their car broke down a few miles back.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A Pole walks into a Pole. They chatted for a while, talking about the good old times they had had together in Poland. They soon finished their conversations, and went seperate ways.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock Knock Who's there? ImBrewn

thumb_up thumb_down -14

That is so fetch

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the dog do in the phone booth? Nothing, as dog do not have opposable thumbs and cannot grip objects. The previous user must have left the door open and the dog walked in, only to leave a few moments later.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

There is a white man, a black guy, and an Asian in a car. It got into an accident who did it? Asian dude

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did Billy fall off the swings? Because he had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Billy.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

a. how did you shoot the rabbit? b. with my banana

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Timmy heard that Red Bull gives you wings. He drank one and waited. No wings. He drank another and waited. No wings. Timmy drank 3 cases of Red Bull trying to get wings. Timmy died. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what did nena say in the library while her and her friends were on anti-jokes? I don't know. I wasn't there.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is the greatest anti-joke ever told? I had it right here, but I lost it when I was being raped by a Triceratops.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops