so a boy walks into a bar he was underage and escorted out.

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how long does it take a black woman to shit? 3 to 5 minutes depending on the food she ingested earlier that day

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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if your were a slu* what would you do dance on a pole or get a tattoo

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Q: What did the hobo get for Christmas? A: Hypothermia.

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-Whats the worst part about being a black jew? -You have to sit in the back of the oven.

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What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A lot.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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Why did the Mexican guy run to the hospital? Because it was faster than walking.

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Why was the boy sad. Because he had been diagnosed with terminal lung cancer and he had been told he has three days to live. That's why.

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A hipster gets summoned for jury duty. The case is solved promptly and everyone goes home happy.

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My mom told me about a funnel they make for women now that they can use to pee standing up. I told her it was a ploy to promote feminism.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have clamidia Because Polly shat on me.

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What's the worst joke ever? Justin Bieber.

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What did the Mexican man say to the black man? Hello, how are you today?

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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A Mexican man, an American man, and an Italian man go to a bridge. The mexican said "we have too much of this in our country!" and throws pasta into the water. The Mexican man says "we have to much of this in out country!" and throws a taco into the water. The American throws in the Mexican man and says "we have to much of these in our country!"

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Why did the guy to the moo moo cow say? Yesterday, I took a crap at the restaurant and the toilet got stuck so I stole the vehicle and won the lottery.

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what is hollow and bloody? Vagina when it gets genital herpes

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Whats so bad about all the black people in the world dying? The police would be out of a job.

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who is gay and sits next to me in my architecture class? James and austin!!!!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Does this smell like chloroform to you?

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Q: What's full of different butts and smells bad? A: An ashtray.

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Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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