What's worse than a crying baby? A dead one...

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the platypus have no friends? Platipi are antisocial creatures by nature.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did you the blonde death amuptee child get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Jerry Sandusky and two other men are on a cruise ship, when it suddenly starts to sink. The first man says, "save the children!" The second man says, "screw the children!" Jerry Sandusky drowned.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Man one: Why does the moon look like a face? Man two: I don't know, why? Man one: I don't know either, that's why i asked....

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Whats the easiest way to get a dumb blond to have sex with you? rape.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

So a ninja walks into a bar and he sees a cowboy and the ninja says i will kill you with my mad ninja skills and the cowboy says who needs mad ninja skills when you got a gun

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you kill two birds with one stone. You don't its not humanly possible because birds cannot be killed with rocks.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man walks into a bar an orders a few pints. He then goes home and brutally rapes his wife and chains his staring kids to a fencepost in the backyard along with their deceased dog named Spot.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why do redheads have red hair Because they were born like that.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: Why didnt the irishman walk out of the bar? A: He died of severe alchoholism and had a heart attack and died istantly

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man breaks into your house points a gun at your head and proceeds to fire a blank... The man stares at your for another minute before jumping back out of the window he crawled in from and sitting on the curb outside your house rethinking his life choices.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do you tell if your boyfriend is gay? He is having sex with men

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What should you do when you're constipated? Poop.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What has eight wheels and cost more than a Lamborghini? Two Lamborghinis.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Where did Suzie go during the bombing? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's the difference between a tigar and a shark? One's a land mammal.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do a grape and a plane have in common? They both have wings... except for the grape!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic and so am i

thumb_up thumb_down -18

what do you call a blind man who buys a caller i.d.? handicapped

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you milk a cow? Pull on its' utters.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What's worse than finding a worm in your Holocaust? Oh, wait, I said it wrong...

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was six afraid of seven? The world may never know.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops