How do you stop a bus? You press the brake pedal, causing the brake pads to squeeze the tires. Which will slow the momentum of the bus to the point of stopping.

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What did the 3 month old puppy get for Valentines day? Heart Worms. What'd he get for Christmas? Put down.

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Video Games

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What's do you call two bulls, a goat, and a horse? Farm A nimals

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What is orange and smells like oranges? Oranges.

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Why didn't Katie cross the road? Because she's dead.

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I took my mum for a big shop the other day, we used the parent and child spot, not like there's an age range on it. - Peter Kay Try parking in the furthest spot away from the shop and you might burn some calories. -Me

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What did the black man do when i shit in he's pant? Changed pants.

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How did the chicken cross the road? On it's chicken wings.

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roses are red violets are blue i thought i was ugly but then i met you

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What did the black guy say when he failed his math test? Crap, I failed my math test!

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can i have 10 pounds to go to the cinema?

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Someone threw a hippo at the pilot.

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Women's rights

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A: Knock knock B: Who is it? A: You'r wife. B: My wife? A: Yes! B: Ok, then i think i pass that question.

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What is funny about family guy?the jokes

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Why was Little Billy crying? He had cancer. Why was Little Sally crying? Little Billy's cancer was contagious.

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Whats the difference between an aboriginal and a deer? Nothing, infact they are quite similar, they have no house and smell like wild animals and jaywalk.

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Q:What time is it when you have to go to the dentist? A: It varies. But most dental offices are open for service between 8am and 4pm

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What did the guy say to the other guy? Hello.

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Stephen Hawking wheels into the Center for Theoretical Cosmology.

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How do you make a blonde scream? Set her on fire.

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hey i just met you,but this is crazy, my name is kony and i just took your baby

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Roses aren't blue Violets aren't red She was my ex wife But now she's just dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops