Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Have you seen the size of their fingers!?!?!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Welcome to make your own anti joke! Please use tkeyboard usually available somewhere below this screen.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Knock knock Who's there? Dave, I've got a fucking gun. Let me the fuck in.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a man with an eight foot steel spike wedged in his rectum? An Ambulance

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender asks why the long face. The guy responds because cancer is a horrible disease. Oh yah did I mention the guy has cancer? $

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a orphan with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Scrood

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Hitler. lol, sucks.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the platypus have no friends? Platipi are antisocial creatures by nature.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you send Harry Potter a post card? Get an owl to send it to his house.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A mexican fast food worker accidentally drops a cheeseburger on the ground. Realizing the floor is most likely unsanitary, he throws it out and gets the customer a new one.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the dog cross the road? Because he saw another dog

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Halt! Who goes there?! It is I, Prince Ali Ba Ba of Yo mamas house. To what do I owe this pleasure of your kindness? I come to you with gifts, relics, and spices. All these can be yours if the price is right. Surely there must be a mistake here. How do you go about by and by without a horse? Are you who you say you are? English mothafucka do you speak it?!!! What is this mothafucka do you speak of? Say what again, I dare you! I double dare you mothafucka say what one more goddddam time. Oh wait stop, hammer time...

thumb_up thumb_down

why was the snowman so happy? because a child placed pieces of coal in a "u" shape on it.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was tied to the first monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are Red Violets are Blue you have hemroids

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Have you seen the new Spiderman movie yet? No, Uncle ben hasn't seen it either.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: What's worse than the holocaust. A: Me not getting my Christmas presents.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie pop? It very depending on the amount of saliva produced in ones mouth..

thumb_up thumb_down -6

- My grand mother died. - I'm sorry.... Did She died of old age ? - No, she got eaten by a giant worm.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Oh no! I forgot the milk!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do a duck and an elephant have in common? They're both yellow. Except for the elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops