Hi! This is Ms.McGruder you two boys in my office at 3:00 p.m. today

this is madness! Madness? no, nevah... THIS IS SPARTA!!!!!! NO, THIS IS PATRICK!!!

Roses are Red, Violets are blue, Run Quick, Before I eat you and die of obesity due to high blood pressure and bad heart disease!!!

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger Stand a little taller Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone What doesn't kill you is a bad attempt on your life.

What do you call the people that ride on the upper level of a double decker bus? Passengers.

a horse walks into a barn

How do you get into USA from mexico? Climb a fence

whats black and white and black and white and black and white? a penguin rolling down a hill whats black and white and laughing? the penguin that pushed him

I'm on the seafood diet. A large proportion of my daily food intake is fish.

Q:What are black people so good at basketball? A: Because they are black!

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was strapped to the first monkey.

Johnny fell out of the window. Except he didn't fall I pushed him

What did the speech impaired man say ? Nothing.

What did the black man eat at a picnic? I don't know, I wasn't there.

What's awesome and looks like a pumpkin? An awesome pumpkin.

There are 2 cannibals eating a guy well one starts at the head and the other one starts at the feet the one at the head says to the other on how you doing down there and he said ohhh having a ball you!!!!

Being a demigod and slaying monsters isn't normal, but on myth it is. MYTH: Not even once.

What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

Why did Timmy miss school? He was killed in a tragic school bus accident

How does a chubby baby eat his chili In a very chubby way with his hands smearing it all over is face

why wouldnt sally stop spinning? she was trapped in a washing machine

:y do people talk? ;idk :oh then nevermind

What do you call a black guy driving a plane? Jamal

What do you call a dead baby lying in the road? A Tragedy

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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