What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

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Chuck Norris can right-click with a mac mouse

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What's worse than losing your phone? Getting raped anal until phones fall out

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Why did the black man die? Because he fell off a cliff.

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My friend told me to break a leg before the show. I disobeyed him and injured no one. It's just a figure of speech.

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What happens when two elephants go out in the rain? They get wet.

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What's worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Finding half a worm and wondering where the other half is. o.O

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What's worse then 1 bee sting? -2 Bee stings. What's worse then 2 bee stings? -The Holocaust. What's worse then the Holocaust? -3 Bee stings.

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How did Barry Bonds break the career homerun record? A combination of natural ability, practice, and a plethora of performance enhancing drugs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I felt like kicking something.

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A man walks into a bar, I forget the rest of this joke and your mother's a whore.

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Why did the chicken help people across the road all day? Because after past experiences the chicken decided to become a lollypop chicken and help people nit make the mistakes he did

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Knock Knock Who's There Mailman Mailman who? Sir, I don't have time for this, take your mail.

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Somewhere in prison- Germany 1940 Janurary, Tuesday, 630PM: "Why doya' think you're so innocent" "It was only a jew!"

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Roses are red my name is Dave this poem makes no sense, micorwave

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What's black, white and red all over? Nothing, I'm colourblind.

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What would you call a two-foot Irishman named Max? Max.

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Joe Bereta is a member of al Qaeda.

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dfsgdf g dsf g sdfg sdf gsd fg sdfg s df g sdf gs df g sdf g sdfg sdf g sdfgsadg awetrawefads f asdf asdrfasrg sdf nfghjml ho ;l jkm gascSDagfgh dj gf hdfgh khdkfgkfgkj gjkf g afg adf g dfgs df g sd fg s dfg sdfg df g sdf g s df gsdf g sdf g f t r j yu k yuilk yiol o l rt wer t wer t we t w e rt w er

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Why'd the dead man cross the road? He didn't, he was dead, therefore incapable of doing anything at all.

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Joe: Hey, why are your counters all red and your blender looks broken? Me: The same reason why Mrs. Johnson's baby is missing. ajl

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If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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