Why did the chicken cross the road? Listen, it's a free country.

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Need therapy? No you do not, just follow these steps. When someone feels suicidal, I ask them, so what would you do and feel when you are dead? People: First I think ill just chill like this, and then everything would be empty and no more noise like this here "holds hands over ears", and it would all just be black and nice afterwards.... Me: Stay in that state for a while. Human: Gee I am starting to feel better... Me: GEE YOU SUCK KILL YOURSELF NOW! 2. How to CURE PERMANENTLY (not treat over 30 years with no effect) someone that cant say no... First I let my victim enter the room, then I shut the door and shout "SAY NO TO ME YOU FUCKlNG WH000RE!" Victim: NOOOOOOO I CANT! Cured, stop wasting my fucking time NEXT 3. SUUUUUUUURE! Me: So you feel uncertain? Patient: Uh yeah... Me: Are you certain about that? Patient: You are just certain about you being certain which is not possible because you are uncertain NOW DIE! PROTIP: Death is the cure to all disease... NOOOOOOOT! (Postmortem disease no?) 4. I forgot this example. Anyway, I say something smart, you give me thumbs down because you are jelly, and then I eat you and I had some jelly.... I master nonsense, I am the jack of no trades and master of all.

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A man walks into a bar. He is followed by a chicken, 2 donkeys, a tiger, 7 cardinals, 3 horses, 11 chipmunks, and 2 squirrels. And they all lived happily ever after. THE END

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They should introduce a filtering system on here. That way any repeated jokes, or idiots taking up a page with a copy and paste routine, could be simply erased by those who are bored with them or find them irritating. [L]

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a man walks into a bar and it hurts

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Bang Bang Get the hell out of the house, it's on fire.

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YOU

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How many hookers fit in your bed? 12, if you have a king-sized bed, and 8.7 if you have a queen-sized bed.

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imadewords

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i hate black people

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Why couldn't the girl brush her hair? Because she had leukemia

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Once ther was a happy little boy and he was just playing with his dinosaur when he was hit by the school bus that was supposed to take him to school. The End

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Have you seen stevie wonders new piano? No Well it's really nice

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roses are red violets are blue my poems mite be ugly and so are u

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Yo mama so fat, she was accepted to a clinical trial for treatment of morbid obesity in middle-aged women.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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Why was the black man at the back of the bus... Cause all the other seats were taken

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what did luke say to darth vader? Can i borrow ur car please.

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What do you call a black guy robbing a store ? A theif

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Yo mamma's so short that she is 12 inches below the average height of a woman at her age.

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A black man and a Mexican were in a car. Who was driving? The cop.

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Man goes into a bar and orders 7 shots, the bartender says "Long day, huh?", the Man says yeh then goes home and kills himself.

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What do you do when you're making out with your girlfriend? Play with another dude's ass.

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender asks "why the long face?" he replies: "I was walking with my wife and was mauled by a bear"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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