What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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Why couldn't the little girl swing? She didn't have any limbs.

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What's black and very long? The line-up at KFC.

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Cover myself in Vaseline and cry in the dark for 4, maybe 5 hours with or without a wooden splintery dildo in my arse..”

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One day Satan, approached his dad and said: DADDY I love you so much, I want to be just like you! That story did not end up so well did it?

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What is black and white and red all over? A Zebra that has been fatally maimed by a hungry lion.

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Thank you, you remind me that I am not insane, just because I believe we humans can accomplish more, by uniting as one, rather than fighting one another. I feel as if I belong somewhere else, yet the question remains always, are people such as you better, or are we relics from the past?

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TRICERATOPS!

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A man walks into a bar and slowly draws a pistol and kills 5 people.

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Why do dyslexic people stink at typing? c k j a h s d i u p q h g n z v m n k b e r t y o f This is why...

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Your mom showed up at my house last night. I kindly greeted her and asked if I could help her with anything.

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knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

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A guy walks into a bar and laughs. Later, a green, homosexual dinosaur dentist escorts him out to play a houdini banjo.

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roses are red , violets are blue, lick my dick , or lick my dick

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No one walks into a bar... because it was closed.

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O'Malley, an Irishman; Adam, a Jew; and Patrick, a gay man, walk into a bar. Oh crap. I just outed Patrick.

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Why'd Sally fall of the swing? Sally's a fish.

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There are a black guy and a Mexican in a car, who`s driving? The cops

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Once upon a time there lived 3 polar bears; a mummy polar bear, a daddy polar bear and a baby polar bear. Ond day the baby polar bear said to the daddy polar bear "I don't feel like a polar bear, I'm cold!" and the daddy polar bear said "You look like a polar bear."

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Why did the Asian drive his car into a tree? His contact fell out.

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How do get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor.

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Excuses are like butt holes...they are round

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-I have an idea! Let's play twenty questions! -Alright! But i have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

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What did the furnace say to the Jew? Nothing, as it is an inanimate object and cannot communicate.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops