A horse walked into a bar. The bartender said "why the long face?" The horse then panicked, and feeling threatened, it kicked the bartender with its hind legs and galloped out of the bar. A civilian took immediate control of the situation and dialed the number for animal control, who arrived shortly and tranquilized the deer and put it back in its natural habitat. Don't worry, that didn't actually happen

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Three aliens land in the middle of New York City. There is a huge media story about the first extraterrestrial life to be discovered on Earth.

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What's green and says I'm a frog? A talking frog

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Why does manure smell like poop? Because it is poop.

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Two muffins are sitting in a oven, The other muffin says to the other muffin nothing, Because muffins are unable of human conversation.

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What did the young child with no arms and legs get for christmas? A bike.

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A guy walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"

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Yo mamma's so stupid she sits on the TV and watches the couch. :) By Drew Bolton

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Why did the girl scream? Someone shot her mom

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Why was the 18 year boy afraid of his dad? Cause his dad butt raped him when he was 7.

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Knoc nock whos dere ronnie turiaf...... Ronnie turiaf who Dennis rodman

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how do you get a chicken to sleep you slit it"s neck,and feed the body to your pet tiger

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If Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee got in a fight, who would win? Chuck Norris, since Bruce Lee is dead.

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What's big, hard, in the water, and isolated? Shutter Island

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Why did the Alzheimer's patient fail the history exam? I don't remember.....

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What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? No. Well neither did she.

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Two men walk into a bar. An hour later another man sees them knocked out on the ground. Q: What Happened A: They walked into a BAR.

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Whats small white and has a hole in it? A powdered Donut

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What's worse than having an ugly face? AIDS

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What's the difference between a zombie, a vampire and a werewolf? One is a zombie, one is a vampire and one is a werewolf.

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A woman wearing a very fancy, striped sweater walks into a bar and sits down. The bar tender asks her “what’ll it be”?. The girl replies “Just a beer for me”. As this happens a child in Africa dies from complications due to starvation.

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If rocks were people, what would you call a bunch of marble rolling down a hill? Rocks don't have the ability to be people.

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suck my a s s i hate mother f u c k e r s in my mother f u c k i n g crib

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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