A man walks into a bar, and is brutally slaughtered by eight drunk customers.

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Why couldn't Scruffy get out from under the car? It had parked on his skull.

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Q: Why is little Timmy living without his parents? A: He is ninety seven years old!

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This is a bad anti-joke. Just kidding, it's a good one.

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How do you know when it's hot outside? When you walk oside and it's hot.

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Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She's dead.

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What do you call a bird with a broken wing? A bird with a broken wing.

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How many people can you fit in an oven? A: I Don't know ask a holocaust survivor.

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What is brown and sounds like a pickle? Poop

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What's white on top and black on bottom? Society

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Whats worse than falling off a bike? rape.

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A man walks into his house to see his TV is moving. He notices a black man who starts running when he enters. He then calls the police and gives a description of the man. The robber gets placed under arrest.

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what did the woman say when the guy told her he liked her christmas tree? thank you.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

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Man: Did it hurt? Woman: huh? Man: Did it hurt when i killed your family?

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Why did the man stop having seizure? Because his condition was recognized and he was properly medicated.

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Why did Jane get pregnant Because she bought a man's semen and put it in her vagina.

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Q: What kind of bees make milk? A: Boobees

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I have alzheimers but atleast I don't have alzheimers

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what happens when you throw a green rock into a yellow pond. it makes a spash.

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What's green fury has 4 legs, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you. A pool-table

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How come Helen Keller didn’t scream when she fell off the cliff? Because at 19 months she contracted an illness that left her blind and deaf and therefore never learned to properly use her vocal cords

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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