Shush girl, shut your lips do the Helen Keller and advocate the rights the disabled.

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Why didn't susie use the jump rope She had no arms, replied carl No, susie doesn't like using jump ropes replies the mother

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A gorilla walks into the DMV to apply for a drivers license. Turns out it was just some guy in a gorilla suit doing a prank. Everybody instantly realized this at the time since gorillas aren't indigenous to the local area. They guy responsible was charged with a small fine for public mischief.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Insurance. Insurance who? I'm sorry, sir; we can't fix your liver because you don't have any insurance.

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one day a bear was eating for winter he ate about half what he had to and said "Im tired ill take a nap and eat the rest later. one month later he died of starvation

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What's the tallest building in the world? A library cause it has so many stories get it haha.

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Why is my penis so small? No, seriously, can anyone tell me?

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Whats worse than losing your keys? Your entire family dying in a preventable house fire.

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im not food

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How do you catch a predator? You throw a beartrap at a child.

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Why couldn't the black baby swim? Babies do not posses the muscular capacity nor technique to enable them to properly swim.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He died of alcohol poisoning that day

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If Jimmy has $5, and he finds $20 on the street, how much money does Jim have? None. He was mugged by a black man.

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Roses are Purple Chickens are gray I'm color blind You have cancer I'll see you in hell Ba bye now

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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Lol, listen, the suggestion lies in the "not not", you are using not twice in your mind, which under trance makes it so your subconcious registers that you are using a double negative while you consciously do not. Look back at the messages and register consciously that you and I have been using "not not" twice during the past messages, when the net shuts down here, you reinforce the "I will totally notnot, tell him" so the suggestion just gets stronger.

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Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

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Q: What's the difference between a polar bear and a washing machine? A: Many things.

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What's bigger than China and Smaller than my penis? Russia and a smaller penis.

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What sport do all black people like? This is impossible to answer because not all black people like the same sport.

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Chuck Norris threw a grendade, killed 50 people, then it exploded This is a highly improbable event considering no man is faster then a grenade

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What do homeless people get at Christmas? Cold.

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What's a foot long and slippery, a slipper

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Ey hornboy give es a SCAB

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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