How Do You Get Your Mom To Shut up? You Kill Her.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walks into a bar holding a magic lamp. The bartender asks "what are you holding?" The man says "It's a magic lamp." The bartender looks at the man and scratches his head. It turns out the bartender has had a problem with lice in his hair. If you believe in a magic genie is going to grant any wishes you're reading the wrong story. Anyways, the bartender buys medicated shampoo and no longer has head lice. The guy with the magic lamp was totally worthless.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you kill batman? you stab him through the heart

thumb_up thumb_down -20

It's kind of hard to die when you're in a freezer.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A black man and a mexican jump of a building to see who hits the ground first. Who wins? Society.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

whats big fat and very annoying your little brother

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock Knock Dude there is no door

thumb_up thumb_down -16

your mom is so fat, she stepped on the scale and said, "I really need to eat better and I'm thinking about getting a gym membership." She did so, and she lost so much weight that all her friends congratulated her everywhere she went, and some didn't even recognize her.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

The Joke Below

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A black guy and a white guy are in a car. What is going to happen? They will arrive at their destination.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Yo Momma is SO FAT, THAT she has an increased risk of cardiac arrest due to her blood pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Burger King cashier: Are you on Team Jacob or Team Edward? Man: I'm on team I'm freaking hungry; now give me my food!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's worse than breaking a leg? Breaking two legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did Tommy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Tommy.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far from its body.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What follows 2 days of rain? Statistically more rain, but you'll have to check the weather report to be sure.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

roses are red lemons are sour open your legs and give me an hour

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are red Violets are blue These are facts that many people know

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock knock. Whos there? The police, your wife is dead. The police, your wife is dead who? Sir, this isn't a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

TIMMY

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you call a black doctor? Doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is the difference between an obese white man, and a physically fit black man? Their weight and skin color.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops