i used to take arrows to the knee,til i took one to the balls.

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ted. Come in.

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Yo mama is so stupid that her IQ is relatively lower than the average.

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Why wouldn't joey pay attention in class? Because he was being raped by a grizzly bear.

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whats worse then having sex with a blonde? having sex with a cactus

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Why did the boy not turn in his homework? Because his pet ate it.

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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Why did Jimmy get off of the park bench? he wanted candy from the man in the white van

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Knock Knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Your neighbor

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A pengiuin walked into a bar. Just kidding, it waddled at an increasingly fast rate.

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Sex education in Texas.

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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What did the drunk man say to his wife? "I love you, Honey"

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What's worse than the holocaust? I'm a zebra so what is the holocaust.

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Guy- Wanna hear a joke about my dick? Nah, it's too long. Girl- Wanna hear a joke about my vagina? Nah, you'll never get it.

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Whats fuzzy and greenand if it falls from a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

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What colour is an orange? Orange. What did you expect?

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Q) What do you call a black man swinging from a tree? A) A very silly man as it is potentially dangerous

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Why did the boy who didn't do his homework fall out off a tree? Because his overly obsessive mom threw a rock at him.

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Why did Elliot Spitzer cross the road? To go have sex with a hooker.

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One man walks on a bridge, another man sees him but doesn't really care about him.

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"Spell 'horse'" "H-O-U-Z-E" "No, that's incorrect. You failed the spelling test, you stupid fool."

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How do you know if your friend is dead? You shoot him in the face!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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