Dont listen to your heart all it dose is BEAT BEAT BEAT

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What did the podiatrist say to the proctologist? That athletes foot fungus is clearing up nicely.

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What did the blind man say to his wife? Nothing, for he was mute too

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Get out".

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What happened to the Asian who ran into the wall with a boner? He ejaculated his sperm, impregnating the wall. The wall went to the authorities, and the man was charged with rape. He is now serving a 10 year prison sentence, with no possibility of parole.

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Person 1 - Have you heard about the movie about constipation? Person 2 - No. Person 1 - It hasn't come out yet

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What do you you call a mexican that jumped the border? successful

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What's worse than a baby nailed to a tree? Ten babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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a horse walks into a bar, the bartender says: why the long face? he has cancer

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Roses are red Violets are blue Poetry is hard And so is wood

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have AD i love squirrels

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How did the 8 year old child die? He was raped at the age of 7 and given the STD of AIDS. His clock then started as his family cried about his final days of his life.

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What did the man say when he lost his car? Where the fuck did my car go

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.

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How do you kill Glenn Campbell? Stab him with a screwdriver.

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Q : Why did the girl fall off the swimset ? A : Gravity pulls smaller masses towards larger masses, so the girl being the smaller mass, got attracted to the bigger mass, AKA the Earth, and that's why she fell.

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Dylan Hodge's mother touches her own butthole at night. Joshua Brown's sister rubs Josh's earlobes passionately. Brock is a fag. Jacob is Awesome. Daniel THINKS he's awesome. Jamie kills everyone. Apart from Jacob.

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Knock knock. Who isn't there? Not me. Don't come in. I won't.

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whats better than an anti joke? a joke that you find funyer than an anti joke

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What's the difference between a trash can full of dead babies and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

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Why did the Japanese man commit suicide? He was terminally ill and decided it was his time to go

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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Y the girl tuch her butt she tried To get dookie

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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