Why was the blonde sad? Her phone was broken due to an NNEMP.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why didn't the baby cry? It was stillborn.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you get when you cross drugs with a bathtub? Whitney Houston's worst nightmare

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what the difference between ET and polish people? ET is an alien and polish people are human

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A nun, a jew, and a KKK member are all stuck together in a lifeboat. A large wave overturns the boat and they all drown.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

There was this cat, and he was walking down this long road, knowing a dog lived on 45 lake avenue. So the cat was very careful while walking by that house so the dog and his diqqas wouldnt chase the cat, named pat. So like a rogue in the arathi basen lodge, he made his way over the stone wall and ran as quickly as he could through the muddy path of dirt. This cat was also swagged out of control, so he had mad bitches. That is where Pat was heading....... to his mad bitches. He had never met these bitches, but bought them offline on a p0rn website that said he would become the man if he purchased the mad hot bitches. When he found the bitches, he shit himself. The bitches were female dogz. if you read this whole paragraph, a fraction of your soul has been ripped out of you. UMAD? ˜´??

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why was little jonny not playing in the baseball game? his legs were shattered in a terrible lawn mowing accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What made the lady dance? Bandz!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT i farted. : l

thumb_up thumb_down -34

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple. finding half of regis philbin in your apple...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Your mom is so stupid that she failed out of high school and now has two jobs to support her family.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

its snowing on mount fuji

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Here is an opposite. Black Santa Claus.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did bobby fall of the swing? He had no arms -Knock knock -Who's there? -Bobby -But how? -I knocked with my diick -Oh

thumb_up thumb_down +19

You know what's gay?? Lesbians

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the teacher arrive late for class? Because his father had a stroke the night before, and they had to rush to the hospital and because of exhaustion, he missed the bus, and arrived ten minutes late.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: How do you shoot blue flames from your hands? A: You start to duck and lean forward quickly before you fully reach to duck as you punch as hard as you can, a blue flame should come out as Japanese bullshit automatically spews out of your mouth. It should not take more than a try or two...

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: What happened when the Mexican went to the doctors? A: He was diagnosed with depression.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's yellow and shark infested? Shark infested banana pudding.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Your mama so stupid, she put 2 quarters in her ears and said she was istening to Fiftycent

thumb_up thumb_down -18

what does an Ethiopian man say to greet a Chinese man well, first they must locate a translator fluent in both said languages, but they would most likely say hello

thumb_up thumb_down +45

So theres a priest, a rabbi, and an athiest on a cliff. They all remark at the beautiful view and take plenty of pictures with their respected families.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

You know what likes to get fisted? Sock puppets.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a kid with no friends? ....a Sandy Hook survivor

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops