Can we still mine for gold in the American River? No, anyone seen mining for gold is considered a hobo and all the gold is cleared out by random people in the 17 century

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Why did the girl fall of the swings? Because she has no arms.

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Rex Ryans foot fetish was honer by Mark Sanchez when he threw the ball at his teammates feet.

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What did the kid say before he died Nothing he was terminally ill

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Why did the boy eat the chips? Because he was hungry

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

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Josh brown, Cant have sex, you want to know why...... Because he has a smelly vagina

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Whats green and has wings? grass, I lied about the wings.

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How do you get rid of a pile of dead babies? Call 911 so someone will pick them up and take them to the morgue.

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What's the best example of an anti-joke? This one.

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Your mother is so stupid that she has an IQ score that is much lower than the average person.

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Knock, Knock Who's There

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A panda walks into a bar. He eats but then is tranquilized and taken back to the zoo.

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What do you call a man with three testicles? Polyorchid. Look it up.

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What's purple and has four legs? I don't know. What? I DONT KNOW EITHER THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!

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Your mother is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it read quite a large number. She resolved to live healthier and exercise more.

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where did susan go durring the explotion? every where...

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What do you say to the man break dancing?? You don't, call an ambulance he is having an epileptic fit.

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An alcoholic walks into a bar.... I forgot the rest of the joke but your mother is a whore.

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What's big, yellow and if it fell from a tree it would kill you? A JCB!

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A thought for the day: Life is like a game of chess. In the constant struggle for power, control and safe positions it makes no difference whether one plays white or black. As long as everything is planned and one stays a few moves ahead, everything will work out. Just don't annoy the queen, or she may send some very irate knights to fork you or a bishop to flank you. [L]

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Thats where the slaughterhouse is.

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Ask me if I'm a horse. Are you a horse? No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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