Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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what do you do when a dog bites your ear off? you see that you are bleeding then you scream.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your family have been involved in a fatal accident and we need you to come and identify the bodies.

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What do you call a horse, a cow, a pig, a sheep, a dog, a cat, and a mouse all walking in a straight line? Animals

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There was a man posting an anti-joke... He had no life

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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can't you hear that TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT, TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT flute (nicki minaj in a past life listening to a symphony)

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

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How do you greet a small mexican man at Chuck E. Cheese? Whatsup Jose

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What did the murderer do after killing the family? he went to jail.

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Billy and Suzy sitting in a tree... Billy is gay.

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How do you kill a blonde? I don't. Murder is a crime.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? To get to the other side.

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A man asked a guy in a store for football cleats The guy got all confused because footballs cannot wear cleats

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A homeless boy walks up to a woman. "I'm hungry" "Then you should eat something."

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what do you do when you see a black guy with half a face. call an ambulance because hes most likely in serious pain

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Then there was that caveman that ordered a whiskey on the rocks...

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What's the difference between a hippopotamus? An orangutan.

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What's worse than dropping your ice cream cone? Man's inhumanity to man.

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Why couldn't the black guy vote? He was only 17.

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What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

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What do you call a needle with two points? A two headed needle.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Fishsticks

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Why did a mass amount of people move to Florida? They came to murder their children and get away with it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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