What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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How do you make Sasuke cry? Kill his family

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what did the apple say to the orange, nothing fruits can't talk

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There once was a man from Peru Who fell asleep in a canoe He got a slight case of sunburn which improved later after applying some ointment.

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matt shut up

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How do you get 100 babies into a bucket? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla chips.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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A man walks into a bar The bartender asks: What would you like to drink?

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "My wife just died from pancreatic cancer."

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so a horse walks into a bar right, and he goes up to the bartender, and the bartender being a smartass says why the long face(get because hes a horse), and the horse says his wife is dying of lung cancer, child services are taking his kids away , and im addicted to crack and that is why i have a long face the bartender then gives him the next round for free and the the horse dies of alchohol poisoning

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Why was the boy confused? Because somebody had been running around in circles around him and throwing plastic cups at his face.

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what did one sandwich say to another sandwich? nothing, sandwiches cant talk

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Wat is brown and sticky? A stick

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Why was the black person sent to the back of the bus? All of the front and middle seats were taken.

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How do you trap a squirrel? You carefully set up a trap and place acorns in the trap.

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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A British man walks into a dentist's office.

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how many members of the australian greens party does it take to write legislation? none, it's already been done for them by Karl Marx

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Why did Joseph kick the pig in the face? He though it'd be funny.

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What's worse than swing a dead baby by a rope? Stopping it with a shovel.

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Why did William commit suicide? Because his grandmother had recently died of terminal cancer. His mother left him on the front step when he was two, and moved to Tennessee with her baby daddy.

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How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

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Barack Obama, George W. Bush and Dick Cheney are in a room, what are they doing? A: Breathing

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: An Elephant was sitting on his face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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