I can't hear you. I have carrots in my ears.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you call a homosexual in the army? A brave and honorable person who should be applauded for their service to this great nation

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why couldnt the black guy swim? He couldn't swim because he had no parental figures growing up. His dad was part of a gang and his mom was a crack addict. He had noone to teach him how to swim.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's the square root of everything. F**K LOGIC

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock Knock, Who's there? Shmellmype. Shmellmype who? HAHAHAHAHA (read out loud)

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse then says nothing because horses cannot talk, only humans can talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is worse than ten dead babies nailed to a tree? The holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A blonde woman is creating an account for a website when she gets the "enter the following" box. The box says"How are you". She looks down at the bottom seeing the answer and puts"Good!".

thumb_up thumb_down -11

An blind orphan in an impoverished Irish village develops both AIDS and terminal cancer. You laughed a little at that. You are going to hell.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Two men sit down at a bar. First man: I hear you're having a baby! Second man: My wife had a miscarriage. First man: Oh.... The talking ceased

thumb_up thumb_down +24

My mother-in-law is so fat that I sometimes worry my wife will look just like her after she gives birth.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A mushroom walks into a bar and the bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." and then the mushroom walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

yo mama so fat, she weighs 478 pounds and is in high risk of cardiovascular dieses and/or heart failure.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: Depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

How do you make a tissue dance? Blow a little boogie in it!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Last night, I went fishing, caught a fish, brought it home, grilled it, ate it, and went to bed.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

There once was a boy. On his birthday, he got a small puppy. The puppy was white and had big eyes. Boy loved his puppy and the puppy loved the boy.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What happens when a scientist tells you a lie? It's not true.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call your mom after she brings a guy home from a bar? A very caring woman because she doesn't want him driving drunk.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What is worse the the Holocaust? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What is the same about a plum and an elephant? They're both grey except the plum

thumb_up thumb_down +11

So Bob walked into his house after a long day at work and layed a rope on his bed. A few hours later his wife came home and found a beautiful tire swing in their backyard but her husband shot him self in his throat.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops