Whats grey and kills people, Terminal cancer,I lied about the grey color

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Q: What happened when three lions escaped from the zoo? A: Animal patrol came and tranquilized all three.. Unfortunantly one of the lions died from to much tranq.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cancer

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There was a boy named Johnson. He was a happy boy who had a mother and father who loved. One day he didn't do his homework

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Smart Blondes

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what happened to the boy who asked for a hit from the bong? he got punched in the face.

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What do you call a blonde with a Doctorate in Physics? Doctor (Dr).

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Four surgeons are taking a coffee break: 1st surgeon says "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered." 2nd surgeon says "Nah, librarians are the best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order." 3rd surgeon says "Try electricians, man! Everything inside them is color coded." 4th surgeon says "I prefer Chelsea fans. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and asses are interchangeable."

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WHO WANTS SOW????

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What is the difference between a rabbit and a plum? A: They are both purple, except for the rabbit!

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What is the difference between a black man dead in the middle of the road... and a deer dead in the middle of the road? One is a human and one is an animal

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Two black guys run into a bank with guns. They place them in their pre-payed safety deposit boxes and continue on their way as they were falling behind on their schedule.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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what has 52 teeth and holds back a monster? my zipper

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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Why didn't Jane buy an ice-cream? Because she was lactose intolerant.

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What do you look for in a woman? a pulse.

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How did the old man feel when he couldn't have sex? Viagravated

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Do you know why I am excited? I don't know I'm asking you.

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Do you know what really hurts my feelings? Nerve damage.

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Hey buddy what's up? I justed wanted to know if you wanted to hang out tonight. Just call me and tell me what you wanna do. Ok that's it see ya. Oh yeah! I gave your mom an STD...sorry dude...it just happened. I hope your dad isn't mad. Again, really sorry. Ok bye.

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What is the longest word in the English language? SMILES: there is a mile between the first and last letters!"

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Why doesnt a chicken wear pants? Because its pecker is on his head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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