Your mamma is so fat that she is undergoing strict diet and exercise in order to reduce the risk of premature death due to health complications.

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An astronaut walks into a bar. He orders a beer. After waiting for about 1 and a half minutes he receives his beer. The bartender says it was 3 dollars. The astronaut checks his wallet and finds no money so he pays with credit card. The bartender swipes his credit card but the card doesn't work. So the astronaut takes out his debit card. When the bartender swipes the debit card it worked. In relief the astronaut looks at the bartender and says "Thank you" and then goes home.

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Who do u talk to when everyone is ignoring you? Nobody will talk to you so what's the point?

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What is full of water and drowning people A pool

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? The door was a loaf of bread.

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What happens when a Republican accidentally walks into a Gay/Straight Alliance meeting? The man asks if he is in the right place. He apologizes and then leaves.

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What do you get when you cross and unicorn with a loaf of bread? Cantaloupe

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antonio is ssooo shexy and smokes

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Why did the chicken cross the street? Because it followed the trail of bird feed strewn across it.

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Why couldn't JImmy walk to school? A:Jimmy is in a wheelchair.

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Roses are red but violets arent blue!!!!!

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What's the difference between and Jew and a boy scout? The boy scout returned from camp.

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Redneck girls. Now there's a joke.

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why did Samantha fall off the building? She was hit by a flying fridge dropped by a traffic helicopter.

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What is the diffrence between a guy and pie? The pie taste like fruit somethimes

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There's a plane with 5000 bricks in it, one falls out. How many bricks are on the plane now? 4999 How do you get an elephant in the fridge? U open the fridge,put the elephant in and close the fridge. How do you get a deer in the fridge? Open the fridge, take the elephant out and close the fridge. A lion is trowing a party and the whole animal kingdom shows up, what animal isn't there? The deer cause he's still in the fridge. A little old lady is walking threw an alligator and snake invested swamp. *The snakes and alligators eat her (wrong answer) The brick falls on her head

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Why didn't the black man finish high school? He overdosed on heroin.

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What did the man say to the drug dealer? I'd like some drugs

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what do 9 out of 10 people enjoy?............Gangrape

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Why did the man commit suicide? He was depressed.

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What do you get when you cross a donkey and a hemophiliac? A bleeding ass!

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Why didn't Suzie go to the park? She commited suicide 2 years ago.

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What do you give a sick bird? Tweetment.

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Why did Colnel Sanders cross the road? Colnel Ryan Sanders crossed the road to attack Taliban fighters who were endangering his military presence.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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