Why did the prostitute survive the gunshot? She was wearing a bulletproff vest.

Q: Why did Katie fall of the swing? A: Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Katie

What do you call a black man with a knife and red liquid on his hands? A chef who accidently spilled strawberry jam on himself.

"You know what sucks?" "Vaccuumes?" "You know what metaforically sucks?" "Black holes?" "You know what just isn't cool?" "Lava?"

Your family is so fat that when their feet hit the ground, it recorded 9 on the richter scale, because they were launched at the Earth at close to the speed of light, and when you account for relativistic mass effects, the amount of energy that was displaced into the ground was tremendous

What does an Asian man, Black man, & a Hick all have in common with automatic weapons? The Asian is Vietnamese and fought in the Nam, The Black guy lives in the ghetto and was shot in a drive by, and the hick and his best friend got drunk and shot each other in the foot.

Why did the accountant die?A terrorist put a bomb under his desk.

Roses are red violets are blue..... I have normal vision

women's rights

Why did the old man throw the clock out the window? Because he didn't want to go to a store that could repair it, so then he thought that it was better off on his yard where it could compost.

say iphone 5 times then look under your pillow ...nothings there

Why is this the best day of 10 year old Johnny's life? His parents were killed in 9/11, and Osama Bin Laden has been found and killed. What, Too soon?

Q. Whats brown and sticky? A. Poo

BOOBALANBOO

Why couldn't Jim pogo-stick? He didn't have one.

What is Blue, Pink, and Green, and sometimes sparkles when wet? Grass. I lied about the Blue and Pink to throw you off...because I can.

an old lady walked into a bar, used the bathroom and left. THE END

What does a kangaroo and a zucchini have in common? Neither one can ride a bike.

What do you call a black man that cuts people up and takes their money? A surgeon.

Why Johnny's parents threw out his broken bike? - ´Cause Johnny got ran over by a drunken driver yesterday, when he was cycling back home from school.

What is worse than ten babies in the street, eleven babies in the street.

Chikin nuggets are cooler than your mom!!!!!!!

47

Why was the black kid in the AP Calculus classroom? Because he was a very driven student, who studied hard so that he could attend a good University and build a good life for himself and his family.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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