Q: Have you ever seen Ray Charles wife? A: Nethier has he.

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How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Plants are green because of the high levels of mitochondria in their cells.

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Violets are blue Roses are red I stabbed you 37 times in the chest Now you're dead

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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What's worse than getting a apple and finding a worm in it. Getting hit in the face with a meteorite.

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Two people on a boat, Pete and Repete. Pete fell off and Repete radioed the Coast Guard, who sadly got there just in time to watch him drown to his death.

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What do you call a group of black people? You don't You call the cops first.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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What happend to the murderer who ate people? He was sent to jail for a number of years and now is having work done to stop him from eating people

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What did the jewish man say to the Irish guy at the bar? Are you Irish?

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Q: Why did the cheerleader drop her pom-poms? A: She was knocked unconscious from behind and repeatedly sodomized by a convicted rapist.

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Whats the difference between a white man and a black man? black people have more melanin in their skin causing it to pigment and turn black

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long mane?"

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How do you stop a charging rhinocerous? Nuke africa.

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your mother is so fat that she probably watches her calorie intake every day

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Why did the man drive into the river? He was sleep deprived from working overtime.

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yo mama so stupid that when she stared at an orange jucie carton for 20 minutes cause it said consatrate

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What do you call a black man that can steal, shoot, and jump? A basketball player.

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TRUE COMEDY: "HOW ABOUT THAT AIRLINE FOOD!"

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How did the family of Cubans get to Florida? They flew first class from their home in upstate New York.

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A man walk into a bar. He then falls down, quickly picks himself up, and continues his life.

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A father gives some golf balls to his son on his son's birthday. The son then goes into the woods with the golf balls, and then comes out without the golf balls. "What did you do with the golf balls?" asks the father. The son says nothing. On Christmas the father gives his son more golf balls, and the son does the same thing. He goes into the woods with them, and leaves without them. Again the father asks what he did with the golf balls, and the son says nothing. This happens for many holidays to come, until the son gets hit by a bus. In the ambulence, the father asks; "One last question ,what did you do with the golf balls?" The son dies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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