What do you call a bear with no teeth? A Gummy Bear!!

What did the parents say to their kid? You're adopted and we don't love you.

Knock Knock! whos there? Me! I kill you!

Why did the batmobile lose a wheel? The joker was raping robin too hard

If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic

A man walks into a bar. We see him as he approaches the register wearing a dark hoody. The surveillance camera seen here catches a glimpse of the man's face appearing to be a white male with mustache and beard. As you can see the man opens the register and takes the money before the bartender can get to him. If you have any information about this crime please call crime stoppers at 1-800-GET-HELP. In other news, the DOW JONES reached a record high today as investors in China begin working on keeping the economy from plundering.

A priest, a rabbi, and a Buddhist monk walk into a bar. They discuss their differences over a pint of beer and leave with a greater understanding of each other's faiths.

Whats 1+1? Well,According to John Willemain's Business Analysis: Problem Solving Using Calculus and Finite Mathematics it's 2.

Ask me if i am a tree? "Are you a tree" No.

what do you call a black guy fixing your electricity an electrician

What did the Mexican shoe salesman say to the man? Excuse me, do you whih way to main street?

What hurts worse than a papercut? Divorce.

What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

What's worse then dumping your' girlfriend over text? Dumping her best friend over text at the same time.

Why was the man "hanging around"? He committed suicide.

Roses are brown Violets are brown What the hell who keeps shitting in my garden

Q: Whats black and green and goes 100 mph? A: A black and white car going 100 mph.

A german police officer sees a Rabbi. Nothing happens, it's 2011

How do you torture Helen Keller? Tie her down and plant a bamboo seed under her.

Knock Knock. who's there? James. well use the doorbell.

How do you find Nemo? Watch the movie.

Roses are red violets are flowers jordan and me did it for hours If you know what i mean xxx

Q. Where did Little Timmy go for Christmas? A. Auschwitz

what did one soldier say to the other... dude take your finger out my a** it has been that long

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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