a man walks into a bar, sits down, sighs and says, "i had the worst day ever." the bartender replies with, "worse than 9/11?" the man then says "well, 9/11 wasn't that bad."

Stop me if you heard this one before.

Your Mom

Why didn't the man give a location of the murderer? He was murdered

How do you blindfold a Chinese man? With floss.

whats big, black and red all over? My mom when its that time of the month

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

Why is Joe is ugly? I dont Know

why does it suck to be a black jew you get the back of the oven

what did the indian boy say to his friend? I wish you were real

Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

Wha did the fireman say when he burnt his finger? Shit.

"This is the best of all possible anti-jokes," said Pangloss.

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple. finding two worms in your apple. and being an orphan.

Whats worse than hard cheese?Cheese DUH

How did the dog die? He was put down.

-Knock Knock -Whos there? -The police -OH SHIT

What did the black man do in the Italian Pub? He gave a 20% tip and couldn't have been more courteous.

So the man goes to the doctor and the doctor tells the man " you will have to quit masturbating " So the man asks " why" And the doctor said " so I can examine you "

What do a black man and an elephant have in common? They are both multi-cellular organisms, they both belong to the kingdom Animalia, the phylum Chordata, and the class Mammalia, they both possess vertebrae, they both move through legged locomotion, they both possess knee joints and they both possess the capacity for altruistic behavior.

Justin Bieber is a talented singer.

that feels sooooo good. -is what jacob says when his dogs hump his legs

Friends are like bananas. If you peel your skin and eat them, they die.

Velcro. What a rip off.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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