A cat starts grooming itself How many sprinkles does it take to cover the moon Cabinet because whales live in water

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone...

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Why are there no swimming pools in Mexico? The average yearly income is $3,523, and pool chemicals are very expensive.

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Yo momma is so ugly, that your father can no longer stand her. They are getting divorced.

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What's the different between a blond and a brunette? Blondes taste better when cut into small pieces and fried in a skillet.

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roses are red, violets are violet

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted to get away from KFC, which was directly behind him.

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Why did god make women? Because women are equally important when it comes to the birth to maintain or species.

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What did the black man say to the white man? Hello.

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Knock knock Who's there? Barack obama

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What do you call a plane in shining armor? A knight flight.

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How did the black man start his car? He turned on the emission and lightly leaned his foot on either the accelerator or reverse pedal, depending on the position of the car.

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What's the difference between Hitler and Kim Jong Il? Hitler's German

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Why was the baby crying? Because he was tied to a railroad track. How did the baby die? He had a bomb strapped to him. How did the bomb explode? It got ran over by a train.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Q: What did Bob want for dinner? A: Cheese Burger, Fries, Coke, No Beverage

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How do you circumcise a cat? Shoot an orphan in the leg with a rail gun.

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A: Rock! B:Paper! C: Siccorz! D: Shoot! D: Jimmy, you alright buddy? I didn't mean for that bullet to hit you man..

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Say this really fast. Ice Bank Mice Elf It'll take a while for dumbasses to understand.

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Why couldn't the grandma remember what she did last night? Because she has Alzeihmers and grandmas don't do anything.

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What do you call a black person pushing a car? A very strong human being.

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What did Big Dog say to Little Dog? "We are both dogs."

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What happens when you drop a baby? It falls.

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Knock, Knock? Who's There? Not Suzie

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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