Q: What's annoying and doesn't smoke? A: AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +45

If you want to paint a wall red, what is the fastest way to paint it with a crying baby? The baby will get very annoying and delay your wall from being painted so you put it in its crib in another room until you are done.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What's the difference between a black man and a white man? Their skin color.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

yo mamma so fat when she seen a stop sigh she ate it

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are Red Violets are Blue It is Valentines Day So I had to get them for you or we would get into a big fight, which will end up with me on the couch.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Your mom is so fat she decided to get out of bed and exercise because she realized her health would become serious and wanted ot do something about it.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

So I was sitting in the doctor's when I noticed a guy sitting about two seats down, wearing a sombrero and pouring salt over himself. Then I found out I had cancer and promptly lost all interest in him.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

roses are red violets are blue i have deep vein thrombosis .... perpendicular albatross

thumb_up thumb_down +14

- Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - KGB wh........... *slap* - vwe vwill ask the questions!!!!!!! - Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - Mom the KGB is here again....... - i dont care just answer the damn door - 5 seconds later nobody answers the door....... u here a crash and all of a sudden big men run in with guns - one comes over and slaps the mother while he continues to say " the KGB vwill vwait for no one!!!!!" - every body in the house is shot and and the KGB goees on to tlive normal lives........ for the KGB

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What does Santa do on Halloween? He gives out candy to the kids who come to his door.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Did the boy ever tell you how he died? Trick questions he's dead, deceased bodies can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down

A small plane is flying across the Atlantic Ocean, on board there's a Black Guy, a Jew, a Priest, and a Mexican. The plane has engine failure and needs to crash, but luckily there are enough parachutes for everyone. The evacuation is succesful.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Hitler: honey what's for dinner? Hitlers wife: a jewwwsyy steak

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A black man offers to take a girl home from the nightclub. As they're sitting in the car, she curiously asks him ''So tell me it's true what they say about black man''. The man sighs and explains: ''Well many people think that we stab, shoot and steal things. Another stereotype that is launched at us is that we have large penises. I however do not steal. My penis is also quite small. After this conversation the girl was driven home safely, and was now convinced that stereotypes are lies.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Chuck Norris was the leading role in the television show Walker, Texas Ranger.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: why id the bird fly away from the boy? A: cuz he was scared

thumb_up thumb_down +17

"Knock, Knock." "Who's There?" "Banana."

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the black man get arrested? He didn't pay child support for his 12 bastard children

thumb_up thumb_down +7

your mom is so nasty that when she took a shower and acquired general etiquette, she became possibly more respectable

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A terrorist walks into a bomb shop. He soon realizes he's in the wrong shop, leaves and goes on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" Not getting a response, the disoriented bartender realizes he was talking to his own reflection in the mirror at the back of the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the man commit suicide? He was depressed.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the penguin say to the fisherman? Nothing, they are different animals, and thus, unable to communicate.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops