What did the fisherman say to the other fisherman? Were both fishermen

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A Irish leaves and bump in to a really tall the Irish sorry boss

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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Q: What did they call the dude who was stuck on a deserted island? A: Incontinent.

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New mission: refuse this mission

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A deaf man walks into a bar. A few minutes later, cops come in and takes the poor man into the cop car and takes him downtown to the precinct for booking. Meanwhile, back in the bar the deaf man drinks his beer and converses with the bartender in sign language.

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So a boy walks into a bar. He broke his arm and now is severly crippled

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What do you call a Mexican and a Black man on the moon? Astronauts.

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Adele walks into a bar. The barman says she's too ugly hahahahahahahahahahhahahahha lololololololololololololol

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was late for its laser bypass surgery.

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If I was trapped in a closet with you and a bear, and I only had two bullets, I would shoot you twice!

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what do u call a girl with cancer? bald.

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? I am.

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What if algebra teachers were actually pirates, and they're making us find the X so they can search for buried treasure?

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Why was the kid late for his dentist appointment? He was abducted and he's been missing for thirteen days

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Why did the kid hide under the table? There was an earthquake.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says "Is it hot in here?" The other muffin says "Yes. It feels like 425 degrees."

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Why is there so much hate in the world? Because you touch yourself at night.

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A horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse. The horse walks out of the bar kicking over some chairs and scaring some people because he is a horse and horses do not belong in public atmospheres.

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What did Hitler get for Christmas? Some shoelaces for his shoes so he could tie his little knotsies.

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A Jewish man walks into an ice-cream shop. Using the money he ha eared from his full time job, he orders a chocolate ice-cream in a waffle cone.

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your mother is so fat that she bought a treadmill and uses it daily. she already lost 20 lbs.

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What's the worst part about rollerblading? Telling your dad that you're gay.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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