I saw Scarface uncut last weekend. It was called Face

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Q:What happens when you choke a smurf? A: Nothing because smurfs dont exist

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I've got a shotgun, Give me the money.

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why did the chicken cross the road ask jake darby

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what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

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What's a skateboard without wheels A snowboard

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Q: How do Hellen Keller's parents punish her? A: They give her a timeout

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Kid 1 Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken. Kid 2 Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys. Kid 1 You know what? I think you're right Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Man: You know what sucks? Other man: What? Man: Diarrhea... Know what's worse? Other man: No, what? Man: The smell.

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What's black and white and red all over? The Nazi Flag in WW II

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what did the bee do when bill tried to slap it it stung bill and died.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. The chicken was run over by a truck before he could get to the other side

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Jonathan is like a btterfly. They're both asianu

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Have you seen the clown hiding from gay people at walmart?

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Which came first the chicken or the egg? The egg because if a chicken came first then that means chickens magically appeared. Eggs however may change over time through evolution by a common ancestor because after millions of years of hatching, it slowly mutated by natural selection and became to what is now known as the domestic chicken. (Applause)

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Why was little timmy crying? He walk in on his dad molesting a minor.

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What did the cancer patient say to the arab? the tumors hurt my body

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How do you kill a ninja? Shoot him with a sniper rifle from a building. How do you make sure he's dead? Shoot him twice.

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whats the differnce between madalin macan and batman?...batman returns

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How many girls does ittake to screw in a lightbulb? Doesnt matter as long as dinner is on the table by 6:00

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obama leadership

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What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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Chuck Norris was in a staring contest with the sun. He's blind now.

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Why did the black man fall asleep? because he was tired.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops