Ya Mums so fat when she stood on the scales it came up with my phone number

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Why is it so hard to cook vegetables? The wheel chair won't fit in the oven.

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What's the difference between a turtle and a horse? The horse has no shell.

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Simon Cowell's hair is real.

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How did jimmy get hurt?? someone throw a fridge at him..

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Whats the difference between football and basketball? Absolutely everything By darragh Hamilton

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Why should you paint a canoe black? Being the darkest color, it will hide dirt, scratches, and normal wear and tear on your canoe better than lighter colors.

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Why was the washing machine laughing? Because you're on drugs.

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Why did the woman go to the kitchen? The same reason she went to the bathroom, she needed to wash her hands because she was finger painting. Her husband was using the bathroom.

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2 boy once went to a party. One boy dared the other to suck all the helium out of a balloon. Today this boy is know as Justin Bieber

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why was tommy so sad?............because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What do you call a supporter of Barrack Obama? A welfare recipient

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SCENES WHEN TOM O'SHEA GETS STABBED IN PRISON AFTER STEALING THE WHEELS OFF AN AMBULANCE

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did you hear about the circus fire? it was tragic and hundreds of people were killed.

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Fat chickens enjoy stepping on doorknobs.

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Why Jimmy doesn't listen to his mother? Because he's deaf

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Man 1: is that boy high? Man 2: No. He has down syndrome

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What is matt dalys favorite thing in the world? penis

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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whats black and yellow and screams? A bus full of black kids going over a cliff.

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Why did the pumpkin when orange is not a letter in Spanish? Because moon shoes are der milf

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Never tell Alzheimer's jokes to old people. They will not remember them.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was DEAD!

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What's green and has wheels? PAIN!!! I lied about the green and the wheels.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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