How do you survive the zombie apocolypse? You avoid dieing or being mutated in the living dead.

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How did a baby get across the street? Stapled to a chicken.

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Q: What is the difference between a horny college girls and a horny high school girl? A: Usually, an age will seperate people in different grades. Also, what grade their in.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chipmunk fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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Turn your Caps Lock off, people think you're yelling at them, Stephen Hawking.

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How do you know when an Asian has robbed your house? You have informed the police, who in turn searched the house for DNA evidence, eventually leading them to the criminal, who just so happened to be a troubled Asian teenager attempting to join a local gang.

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Q: What did zero say to the eight? A: Nice belt

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I was gonna tell a gay joke Butt fuck it.

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Why did the lizard turn blue? He was low on oxygen.

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A cat walks into a bar. What's the first thing it says? Absolutely nothing. It was knocked out.

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If a tree falls on a deaf person, does anyone care?

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Why did the bear turn red? Because he was emBEARessed. Nah just kidding, a hunter shot him.

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wanna here an anti joke scroll down

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Why the bird can't fly? Because i cutt off his wings.

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what's round, hairy, has eight legs- but isn't a spider? A spider.

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17 people are eating doritos in a cafeteria. Then, one gets up and throws their bag away. Then the joke ended. Haha it actually didn't.

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Why did the man drop one dozen long stem roses? Because he was hit by a taxi cab

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Sharing means caring, Caring is socialism

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Q: What do you call a ginger with no soul? A: Common

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He who laughs last...is not a laughing owl because they're extinct.

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Knock Knock Opens door because they were expecting visitors

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what is the difference between a white woman and a black woman.. i raped the black one

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whats orange, nocturnal, and hurts to the touch? The sun or an orange owl... Depends on your preference

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whats worse than four babies in a box? one baby in four boxes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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