Three black guys walked into a bar. They all behaved very nicely, payed their bills and left when they where done.

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Why did the boat sink I shot a missile at it

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says to the other muffin, "Sure is hot in here." The other muffin says, "AHHHH! A talking muffin."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The Holocaust. And also cancer.

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Why did the man go to space? He was a highly trained astronaut

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Q: Why was the math book sad? A: Because he recently found out that his parents died in a tragic car accident.

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How do you get your sister to stop wearing your underwear? Throw up on her.

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Next time someone says "I have mad money"... Say "whys it mad"

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What did the Shark attack victim say just before she died from her injuries? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin turned to the other and said, "Boy, its getting hot in here." The other muffin said, "WE ARE GOING TO DIE IN HERE AND NO ONE WILL HERE US SCREAM."

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7,8,9! (Also it killed his family and nuked his country too)

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What begins with "f" and ends with "uck"? A curse word.

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Q:What's the difference between a pinata and a baby? A: One I hang from a tree and beat to death and the other one is a pinata..

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Why were my arms so tired after I flew in from the coast? Because the stewardess, god rest her soul, failed to latch the door securely.

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Best joke: Okay so I got a joke for ya but it is pretty long so bare with me please. First off, you must have heard a knock knock joke before and you must have a huge sense of humor. So this guy walks into a bar and orders fried chicken wings with hot fudge and vinilla drizzled all over it with a cherry topping. The bartender says, "We don't have that." The guy thinks of anything else he'd like and says, "How about a bucket of turkey and jalapeños?" The bartender looks puzzled and once again says, "This is a bar..." The guy is now paranoid and says, "Fine, I'll just have a thick, juicy, chicken thigh but please remove any excess skin on it, it's unhealthy and I'm on a diet." The bartender slowly removes his apron and walks out of the bar shouting, "I QUIT!" The guy sits there on the barstool laughing as a lady bartender comes to him. "So sorry sir, what would you like? From our bar that we have available?" The guy stares at her, squinting. "By any chance do you know if you have the punch line to this 'joke' because I sure dont." Slowly the woman removes her apron and walks out of the bar. The guy grins, walks out, and says, "job well done today. Where to tomorrow?"

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What happened to the orphan on Christmas? he got raped

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what did you call a bench full of white guys? The NBA

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men's rights activists

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Daisies are green, poppies are white, I have a headache.

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What is purple, stupid, gay, and tells shitty jokes? I don't know. You think of something.

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What do you eat for breakfast and is sometimes blue? Pancakes.

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You can pick your ur nose u can pick ur friends u just can't pick ur friends nose.

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Hey did you hear the one about the pizza oven? No.

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Once upon a time, there was a horse that had no legs, it laid on the ground it's entire life and died. The end.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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