What do you get a kid with no arms for Christmas? Hungry, Hungry Hippos.

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Jack Stevens

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Yo mama's so fat that she takes too muc oh fuck it I'm stuffed Henri and Chaz

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So there is 10 Nazis and a monkey the rest doesn't matter but i farted...

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They see me rollin' They hatin' Patrolin they try to catch write a joke Try to catch me write a joke Try to catch me write a joke (tootle loo, I see you ;)

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A pregnant woman takes the bus, once inside she realizes that there are no seats. No one was pollite enough to let her sit down so she felt pretty uncomfortable on the way home.

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Where do you find a vegetable? Where you left him

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Mind magic for fuck ups: Did you know you can train your dog to magically arrive by saying YOUR name! Just tell it what your name is a lot and voila! Moral: made me laugh, fuck the rest of you XD

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Bill is at a bar with a couple of his college buddies. He notices another one of his friends, Jim, who has his back faced to him, and calls him. The man turns and it is not Jim. Bill apologizes and they carry on with their lives.

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What's the difference between your garage and mine? A pile of dead babies.

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A schizophrenic walks into a bar. He has dual personalities and does not realize that he has murdered his family.

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I cant find my anti-jokes this is also one

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What did the aborted fetus say to the recycling bin? Nothing because it isn't capable of speaking, and it was in the dumpster

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Wanna hear an anti-joke?

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Why did the lion eat food Because seaweed is green

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's Cheese on toast

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Your mom is so fat, that when she stepped on the scale she was disappointed with the number that appeared.

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Q: Why did the dog bark? A: it cant talk.

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If Michael Jackson was alive we would who cares he is dead

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YOOO MOMMA LIKE A BIG MAC FAT JUICE AND ONLY WORTH A BUCK!!!!

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There was this guy who walked in the bar with one shoe. The bartender asks what happened. The man said the shoe didn't fit. So the bartender ask where is the other shoe. The man said he threw it away. The bartender looks in the trashcan and sure enough he sees his other shoe. The bartender says "This is the same size as your other shoe. Why are you wearing one shoe?" The man says "I'm just playing a prank on you. There's a hidden camera over there and over there. Is it okay if I can put you on YouTube?" and the bartender says "No."

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In 2030, what will most people be doing for a living? Using food stamps.

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What's the difference between tiger woods and Santa clause? Tiger woods is a thug

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A White, a Mexican, and a Chinese guy all take a boat to go exploring.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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