What’s worse than being ruled by Adolf Hitler? Being ruled by Joseph Stalin.

whats annoying and black? black people

Have you ever seen Hellen Keller's house? Well it was really nice.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Stop asking stupid questions.....

I love it when i go into my classroom first thing in the morning, and the light are off... i always feel so Empowered... i walk in, and say Let There Be Light! while i lift my arms up and there was light.... omg! im god! O_O

A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper doesn't respond because he is a grasshopper and therefore can't talk.

a carrot walks into a bar, carrots cant walk for they do not have legs.

Why did Jimmy fall off of his bike? Well, he was always known for his lack of balance.

All this fuss about drink driving is a load of crap! I frequently drink and drive, and I've never had an accident, apart from one small collision in which my wife was paralysed from the neck down.

the meaning of life is too burn calories so I burnt a fat kid?

Why couldn't the girl brush her hair? Because she had leukemia

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

Knock Knock Who's There AT&T Guy Mom it's for you

2 men were in a bar, One was talking to the other, "I was walking down the street someone fell." "ha" "isis it true?" "What" "isis" and a bomb went off and they all died

penis

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Suzie

Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, I am blind.

Roses are brown Violets are brown Someone keeps shitting in my garden

I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

Person1: Have you heard about the girraffe who doesn't eat Georgia peaches? Person2: yes. Person1: Oh, never mind then.

What's the best time to go to the dentist? Whenever your appointment is scheduled.

Why did the little boy stop looking for his ball? Because he found it.

Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

Q: What comes first the chicken or the egg? A: Pineapple.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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