I need a good anti joke....

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roses are red violets are blue most poems rhyme but this one doesnt

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Roses are red violets are blue I want to F%$# you with a rake

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Yo mamma's so fat she has her own zip code!!! :) Well... the actual reason is she is filthy rich and her house is so big that it takes up a bunch of room, and now that im talking about her i really wanna be her even though shes fat!

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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"Have you seen the food African kids eat?" "No.." "NEITHER HAVE THEY!!"

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in cirlcles? nail its hand to the floor

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A man... walks.

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A man was standing out in the rain and calls out to god saying "smite me god, SMITE ME NOW" and the man was arrested and booked cause a near by neighbor reported on the disturbance. he is now facing charges of disturbing the peace.

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What's green , has 4 legs and if it fell out of tree on you , would hurt you ? A Pool table

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What do stuffed animals and living animals have in common? There both living except the stuffed animal.

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Guess what my nephew said yesterday? oh wait, i forgot hes dead..

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Why doesnt snow like Asians? Snow is a form of precipitation within the Earth's atmosphere in the form of crystalline water ice, consisting of a multitude of snowflakes that fall from clouds. Since snow is composed of small ice particles, it is a granular material. It has an open and therefore soft structure, unless packed by external pressure. Snowflakes come in a variety of sizes and shapes. Types which fall in the form of a ball due to melting and refreezing, rather than a flake, are known as graupel, ice pellets or snow grains. Therefore since snow is unhuman they are then thus incapable of emotions because they lack any vitals organs.

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A black man walks out of a store. He was carrying a receipt.

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A: Can I get a tall white Russian. B: No. A: Why not? B: Because this is a Barnes and Nobles. However, we do have a Starbucks, and I can offer you a venti caramel iced coffee"

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Why did 6 hook up with 7 ?

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One night a policewoman pulls over a drunk driver. She politely asks him to step out of his car. He willingly does so. She says, "Anything you say can and will be Held against you." He replies "BREASTS."

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? a lot.

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Your mom is so fat, it is unlikely that she will be able to survive the month without experimental liposuction and heart surgery, and even then her outlook is bleak. I am so sorry.

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You tell me. I have amnesia.

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Why did the chicken cross the street? K

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Q: What's worse than getting jury duty? A: Getting herpies from a rabbit

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What is six foot three, plays basketball, and is black? A black dog with basketball skills and takes steroids.

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Q: Why did the boy not laugh at the Anti Joke? A: Because he has no sense of humor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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