I'm on the seafood diet. A large proportion of my daily food intake is fish.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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why did the platypus fall out of a tree it couldnt even climb up the tree

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What did the boy reading a book do?  Well, studies show that reading connects the synapses in the human brain, thus, making said boy reading the book a tad bit smarter.

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What do you call cheese that you don't own? Cheese.

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what's brown and sticky? A stick

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Yo momma so fat she soon became aware of her physical state and developed an eating disorder which led to her tragic death.

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Roses are red. I have OCD. That rose IS red right.. Let me check again.

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Why does Magic Johnson always use extra large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

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Why did Hitler kill six million Jews? Because one of them looked at him funny.

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What do you call a 5000 pound gorilla? Obese - gorillas should weigh around 400 pounds.

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There were two planes to take off.. One did, the other not at all..

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3 guys walked into a bar. The fourth one ducked.

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Jesus can walk on water. Babies are 75% water. I can walk on babies. I am... In jail.

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Q.What did the homeless kid get from santa? A. Play Doe. Because he was a good boy. Q.what did the Rich Kid get form santa? A Coal. Because he was a bod boy. The rich kid then got mad and threw the coal at the homeless kid hitting him on the head which killed him of enturnaly bleeding.

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What do you give a black man for his Christmas? A gift that you feel would suit his personality so that he may draw enjoyment from said gift.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

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Q:What's red and hurts your teeth? A:A brick

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Jimmy Saville

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What's funnier than a dead triceratops? Nothing, nothing at all...in fact this is scary because the triceratops and their other Cretaceous herbivores, have been extinct for over 3.5 trillion years... ........also if you see a dead triceratops, you're probably tripping on LSD.........

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why did Susie cry? she got pecked in the face by a goose

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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your sister has 1 boob thats funny

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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