How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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Q:what's black and white and red all over? A:a panda bear that's been shot in the face.

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This is a joke

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Why is Megan Fox so hot? Because the air conditioning broke.

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A blond was walking alone down a street one night. Then she was suddenly mugged and raped. She reported her attacker but he was never caught.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was drunk.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? monkey see monkey do why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? it lost its footing why did the girl fall down? she was hit by four monkeys and a refridgerator

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I also wanted to write a joke but I forgot it so here I am. Minecraft rocks and everyone who says otherwise is a noob

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What do you call a quadriplegic person in the water? One should refer to them by their name, but seeing as a quadriplegic person would be incapable of swimming if you do see a quadriplegic person in a body of water you should seek help or call emergency services.

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What did the man say to the woman before he had sex with her? "May I have sex with you, please?"

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why do prostitutes do what they do? Because they have abusive fathers who always used them as sex slaves as children

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What's red,little and its in the corner??? --- Strawberry in the corner

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Q: Were did suzy go after the explosion? A: Everywere

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Whats an Anit-joke?? A joke that possesses the kind of humor based on the surprise factor of absence of an expected joke or of a punch line in a narration which is set up as a joke.

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Your Momma is sooooo poor, she struggles day by day to feed you and your 8 siblings while keeping a roof over your head.

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Hey, I just met you and i am crazy, but? here's my room key let's make a baby.

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how do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker face

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Q:What do you say to an albino man that will always get his attention? A:His name.

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Why did the man masturbate? Because there was no one who wanted to partake in sexual intercourse with him.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I thought I was ugly But then I met you

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What do You call a man with no arms or legs? Dead, He died of blood loss 3 hours ago

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A man is walking on the beach, he trips on a mystical lamp and dusts i off a little. turns out that it was just a lamp, he droped it back on the sand and was arrested for littering.

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Quick! It's a fly, call the swat team!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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