How many apples come from trees? None, not a single one of em'

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I man sees a shooting star and makes a wish. Nothing happens as shooting stars are incapable of granting wishes.

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Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? Because he uses the best ingredients.

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Vote this up

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How many squirrels does it take to screw out a light bulb? None because squirrels lack the strength and mind set to screw out a light bulb.

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A squirrel got killed by getting hit by a truck haha its funny cuz the squirrel died

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WHATS WORSE THAN THE HOLOCAUST A FLAT TIRE

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How many spiders dose it take to cover a wall? Four, if they are 7 feet tall

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roses are red violets are blue you think shes hot? how BLIND are you?

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Why did Susie drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus. Knock-knock. Who's there? Not Susie.????

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why is the earth mad at the moon? cause the moon mooned the earth

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Yo mamma's so fat, at her last annual checkup her attending physician informed her that if she did not attempt to control her weight gain through a careful moderation of her diet and began exercising on a regular basis, that her obesity would soon manifest itself in a variety of chronic health conditions that would permanently alter her ability to enjoy life and could significantly decrease her lifespan.

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223

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what is almost like Jesus? Jesus

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What happens when you cut a body in half? An erection.

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Why don't elephants eat bananas? Because they don't have opposable thumbs.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your watch? About 3:26 PM Eastern Standard Time.

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Why did the hispanic buy a pepsi? Because he was thirsty.

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Ubisoft presents a game by ubisoft

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What did the penguin say to the tiger? I'm in the wrong country.

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Why did the room go dark? Somebody turned the lights off

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What did Harry get for his Birthday? Nothing nobody likes Harry.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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69, hahaha

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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