Jake likes to have tickle parties with McCauley Culkin.

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Q. What did the man with no heart say? A. Nothing. No living creature can live without a heart.

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What is big, grey and can't climb trees? A car park.

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There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe, When he woke up one night he discovered with fright, That the friendly old neighbor from next door had broken into his house with a chain saw in an alcohol-induced murder attempt.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, racist.

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How do you kill a blonde? You wait until she dies of old age, then copyright her death.

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He I just met you, and this is crazy, but you sister just died here's her baby.

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Q: Why did Suzie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock-knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Well, neither has he.

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What did the lonely old man get on valentines day? Nothing, because his wife died of cancer two years ago.

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Whats worst than reading the 8th anti joke that ends with the Holocaust? The one where it ends with someone getting hit by a fridge for the 9th time.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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How many stripes are there on a policeman's socks? None, policemen must wear regulation plain black socks.

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A man walks inti a bar and asks for a drink, he shows the bartender his ID and is kicked out because the man is underaged.

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Knock, Knock Who's there ? So So who? No, So Lee

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What did the rug say to the floor? I got you covered

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What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

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Q: What's brown and smells like poo? A: poo

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? -I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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A man was feeling sick and decided to go and see a doctor. He saw the doctor and then went home. He wasn't feeling any better so he decided to get checked-out by the doctor.

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A man walks into a bar. Realizing that he left his keys in his car, he called a locksmith to unlock the doors. He did not have money to pay this locksmith and was put in prison for his large sums of debt. He was shanked by a fellow inmate and died a few days later in the prison's hospital ward.

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Roses are red, violets are blue and the sun is very hot

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Hey! Where is my tracker?

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What did the astronaut say to his girlfriend? I have AIDS.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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