A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

Whats easier to fit in a trunk, babies or concrete bricks? Babies because you can hit them with a pitchfork.

A nun walks into a bar. She is immediately excommunicated.

What was the only animal to not board the ark in pairs? Loads of animals because it didn't happen.

How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends on its sex. Females weigh 150-250kg, and males weigh upwards of 350kg.

I just farted, and now I have to Chit!

Two muffins are in an oven. They procede to bake at 325 degrees for thirty minutes.

SHUT UP JP

Me: Ask me if in a giraffe You: Are you a giraffe Me: no

whats wrose than slipping on a banana? Getting Shot in the face.

Why doed Dorris suffer from incontinence? A weiner dog punctured her bladder.

what's brown and sticky A stick!

a black guy, a white guy, and an asian guy walked into a bar. It was an interracial bar, and served men and women of all nationalities.

Spot the mistake: a) x+2= 5 => x=3. b You.

That moment when you and your friends throw snowballs at cars in the dark on the highway and the cops spotlight your area while you hide in a shed...

You know what helps with sholder pain? If you lick my butthole.

What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

Why did the retard have no friends? Because somebody stitched his mouth and eyes shut so he couldn't be social.

Don't go to the last anti-joke page, they're all terrible or repeated I hope this isn't one of them

Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? What? No? I'm here to inform you that your child won't be coming out of that coma, I'm sorry.

Whats two plus two Four!

Carol never wore her safety goggles. Neither did Hellen Keller.

how many boys does it take to use 4 computers? 4.

What do you call a fish with no eye? Blind.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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