A horse enters a bar. The bartender looks at the horse and says "Why the harness?"

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Knock knock Who's there Police, there's been an accident Oh really? Know i'm actually a serial rapist and i have a gun so open up

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Why did little Jimmy cry when his Rolls Royce got destroyed? Because his parents were in it.

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How did i get from Pakistan to Iraq Iran

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Why did the rabbit cross the road? He was attempting vehicular suicide after being told yet again that he was "silly" and "Trix are for kids."

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Why was 6 afraid of 7. Because 7 was a terrorist

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whats first than finding a worm in your apple? a blonde who asks you why there is a worm in your apple

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Titanic with will smith. Girl: I wont ever let go of you. Leo: Drowns. Smith: Move your fat ass over girl, there is like room for me and fifthy kids there yo! Me: Bitch if you need to float on a piece of wood where six of us could fit, im gonna drown you.

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Did you know there is a whole country occupied with twins? It's called China

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Where does lady gags buy her bran flakes ? Sainsburys

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Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a Fridge.

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What did the black kid get for christmas?? Your tv

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What is long and hard that a bride gets on her wedding night? An erect penis.

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If you can cut half a rope. You can cut the whole rope.

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What did the snowman say when winter was ending? -Nothing you dumbass

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Q: How many dwarfs does it take to change a light bulb? A: 1 or 2. One to change the light bulb and maybe another one to guards the staircase for the safety of the first one when the ceiling is too high (Wich happens almost every time because they are dwarfs.)

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How do you keep a woman from driving your car? Shoot her.

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Mum says therirs ups in life... I have the Downs

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What did the Jamacian say to his friends? Yo me Rastas' on de cloud shroud atta boy 9PM we rizzle into da hitasses bar and we order us da drink of "grandpa's cough medicince" me tinks, who grees wid my view od oftaday Rastas?

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. One turns to the other and says, "Boy, it sure is hot in here!" The other one replies, "OMG, A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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What did Anne Frank do this weekend? Nothing. she died in the holocaust.

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Haikus are awesome, but sometimes they dont make sense. Refrigerator.

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What did the pedophile get for christmas? He was raped by a gorilla

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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