Why'd Mary fall off her bike? Because she was hit by a bus. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Mary... O.o

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: How many black people came KFC on June 31st? A: None because June 31st doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down

roses are red violets are blue bullets are lead now i shoot you

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you say to a dead man who knocks on your door? Nothing, you shoot him cause he's a zombie

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? Doormat.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q: where was Johnny during the bombing? A: everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's big and looks like a mushroom? A Mushroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A dyslexic man walks into a building labeled, Bra. He then thinks he has found heaven but is suprised when all that is served is beer, not milk.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do apples and black men both have in common? They are both people except for the apple

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why are all of the cars in the left lane? Because you are in Winona MN.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Your momma's so fat, she died on the operating table during her bypass surgery.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

And love is, bein' the owner of a company that makes rape whistles and even though you started the company with good intentions trying to reduce the rate of rape, now you don't wanna reduce it at all cuz if the rape rate declines you'll see an equal decline in whistle sales. Without rapists, who's gonna buy your whistles? Who's gonna buy your whistles? Love is all about whistles.

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red, Violets are violet, If you think Violets are blue you're an idiot because they're called violets for a reason.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a straight line? Because he has Parkinson's disease.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

why did'n the baby wake up from his nap? because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is worse than a worm in your apple? An apple in your worm!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks him "why the long face?" the man replies with "I have AIDS."

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the child cross the road? Nobody knows, he forgot to look both ways got hit by a truck and suffered severe head trauma leading memorie loss.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what did the window say to the other window nothing they are both inanimate objects

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What did the black man say to the asian? Hey.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

There's a fair in a small town in Scotland. In this fair is a sheep judging contest. There are 3 sheep lined up for judging. The judge looks at the first sheep and says "Wow! This is the most beautiful sheep I've ever seen! This sheep just might win!" Then he proceeds to the second sheep. He says "This sheep is even more beautiful than the first! This sheep just might win!" Then he goes to the third sheep. He says "UGH! This is the ugliest most disgusting sheep I've ever seen! There is no way this sheep will win this contest!" And the sheep looks up at him and says, "You think I'm ugly? Well I'm not."

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops