A dog walks into a bar. the owner of the bar didn't allow animal in his bar and he helped the dog outside again

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Well... My reputation is still kinda exaggerated apparently. What you experienced is called astral projection, some people claim it is the same as lucid dreaming, I beg to differ, the difference is vast. You basically just admitted that people believe much more in you, than you believe in yourself, without believing hypnosis does not work, people are like "bah its just suggestions", its true, but underestimating the power of suggestions is a pretty bad call.

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Weebles wobble, but paralyzed kids fall down.

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these are shit

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a giraffe? A really f*cked up hybrid.

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my candy brings all the kids to the yard and i'm like- get in the van.

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Baaaaaaahhhhhh

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What is colored and looks good hanging from trees? Oranges. Get your mind out of the gutter!

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Can I have a dollar? I don't know, can you?

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what did hercules parents tell him? You're adopted

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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-knock knock -i'm not at home, go away!

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Q: what did the emo girl use to check her email? A: A computer.

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"Bitches are fake, talk shit get hit!". False, female dogs cannot speak in the tongues of humans, and if they could I am sure excrement would not come from their mouths.

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am man walks into a bar, and suffers from brain damage

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why did the boy fall to the ground? He was struck by lightning

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I AM SHOWERING IN THE BLOOD AND ORGANS OF ENDORPHIN RUSH IN ORDER TO APPEASE THE GODS KNOWN AS... ME, MYSELF, AND I!

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An Arab walks into a bar. He doesn't explode, and has a fun time with his friends.

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What did Elmer Fudd say when Bugs Bunny got away again? "Oh, dat dawn wabbit, I'ww get it some day".

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Ask me if I'm a tree? Are you a tree? No.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Who. Who, Who? Shut up you damn owl, I'm trying to deliver a pizza.

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Why did the black man get arrested? Because he was in possession of powder cocaine, which is a schedule I narcotic in the United States. This incident probably would not have happened if an end was put to the war on drugs, which is notorious for disproportionately targeting blacks and other minority groups, even though whites are statistically more likely to use such substances.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? HIVs.

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What do a rubix cube and a penis have in common? The more you play with it the harder it gets.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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