She said no

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? "Get in the Batmobile"

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-What's the worst part about killing a baby? -Probably either recieving the death sentence or living psychologically scarred in prison for life.

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Why was the brick acting yellow? No, because it's allowed via Tuesday.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't.

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What's a Democrat's favorite activity? Blaming Republicans for shit they didn't do.

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A husband said to his wife, "If you want to have sex, stroke my penis one time. If you don't want to have sex, just say so and I will respect your decision, though I may be disappointed."

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What starts with f and ends in uck? Firetruck.

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Knock knock who is there ? i'm an orphaned, sir can you tell me why did you write who "is" instead of who's ?? because than i will have to use the (') key and its very far not to mention that i have to use the shift key do u want a pizza ? how much ? 50 cents ? get the hell out ? im not even in yet !

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A man walks into a bar. Splash.

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What has four legs and a tail? A table with a tail

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What did the first muffin say to the second? Nothing. Muffins can't talk, you idiot.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question; feminists can't change anything.

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charly ate an apple. the apple was filled with poison and charly died.

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If you play a Justin Bieber album backwards, I swear you can hear satanic messages... but even worse, if you play it forward, you hear Justin Bieber.

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who's getting there balls chopped off by lilly? Nemo

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A: Knock Knock! B: Come in!

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How do you tell identical twins apart? You can't. They look identical.

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What happens when you cut down a tree? It falls down.

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So after 2 years of dating, the man thought the woman actually loved him. So to find out they took a ski trip and during their day they were on the chairlift and the man asked the woman "Do you love me?" The woman replied "No...I'm just in it for the sex, but that's a nice ski mask you have on"

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Q) what do girls like long , soft (can go hard) and has white stuff come out A) Twinkies but if left out of its plastic wrapping for a long period of time it will go hard

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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Why did Jimmy go to a Barbershop for the first time? He needed a haircut, and the salon next to his house was closed because of financial problems

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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