Simon says.. Nothing because he's deaf.

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How do you confuse a black man? Paint him white.

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What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Adolf Hitler? Michael Phelps can finish a race.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit him with an ax.

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What do you call a pregnant girl? Your Ex

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What did the mentally retarded kid get in his iq test drewl

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What should you do when you're constipated? Poop.

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What did the douche bag get for Christmas?

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What do you get when a black man crosses a white man on the street? A black man and a white man on the street..

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whats worse than getting caught by a teacher for chewing gum? getting kidnapped by a giant hawk.

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When life gives you lemons, chuck them at someone's face!

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What do you get when you cross scabies with genital warts? Krusty Krabs.

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An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.

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knock, knock whos there? steve steve who? steve johnson hi steve

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why did suzie fall of the swings? because she had no arms.

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Guys, I think I'm gonna apply to join the Crips. My SAT score is a 2050, and their average score is a 2200. My GPA, however, is a 4.6, and their average is only a 4.2. Do you guys think that they will take me? Or should I try and apply for the Bloods?

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Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your lord and savior?

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Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, why the long face?" The horse replies, "I have cancer."

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What is the difference between Jews and the boyscouts? The boyscouts come home from camp.

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I'm a psychic. Don't believe me? Think of any number between 1 and 20. Got it? Your number is 17. Please comment if I got it right

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Roses are red violets are flowers jordan and me did it for hours If you know what i mean xxx

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What does the black guy look for when he goes shopping? Some soap for his dead cat in the living room.

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Two black people fall off a cliff, who hits the ground first? Who Cares?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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