A baby seal walks into a club.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Man Man who? The man who is knocking. Now open the door Carl!

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? It doesn't matter, the only chuck that matters is Chuck Norris.

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Why couldnt Jimmy ride a bike? refrigerator

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Why didn't the baby drive the car? Because its a baby.

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What did the stuffed animal say to the human after the human said hi? Nothing, after all stuffed animals can't talk

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WHAT DO YOU CALL SOMEONE HAVING A MYOCARDIAL INFARCTION? Dead

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Two gay men walk down the street holding hands, and are applauded for expressing their love for each other.

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What's blue, orange, and silver all over? Nothing. That's a ridiculous combination of colors.

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Tell me you're a rapist. You're a rapist. This joke makes no sense. Mashed potatoes.

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Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

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A blind duck walks under a coffee table. Luckily, it was shorter that the table, walked underneath, and continued unharmed. Then it was eaten by a cat it couldn't see.

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What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

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Why is Joe is ugly? I dont Know

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what did jesus say to moses? jesus isn't real

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Why couldn't Simon run? Because he had Cerebral Palsy.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Bananas can't talk.

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The joke below is absolute shit.

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Why did Susie fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms or legs. Why did Susie drown? Because she fell in a puddle. Knock knock Who's there Not Suzy!

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Q: Why was Sally crying? A: Because someone punched her in the face

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Q: What is the difference between a Ginger and a shoe? A: A shoe has a sole

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Japan called... They need help.

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Why does the Green Giant's vegetables taste funny? He stands over his peas and corn.

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Why did the baby stop laughing? Would you if you pooped your pants?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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