Why cant steve get a job? Because Steve Jobs is DEAD! Moral: And people are all like "you gotta respect the dead", uh... Why not respect people while they are alive? Humanity is so fucking "smart" sometimes ya? Not that your answer matters...

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What would you do for a Klondike bar? I'd go all the way to the store and buy one.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes And now so do you

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the 12 year old boy get for Christmas? Herpes

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is the difference between an empty bucket and a bucket of water? The Water.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

how many Pikachu's can you get in a mini? 14.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

how many poeple does it take to change a light bulb? you spelled people wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was the black man hanging from the tree? He fell and had to grab a branch.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

a black is sexuel but a white nothin without a car.i mean im nothin i dont have a car i mean realy where do you get a car?its awesome but stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

You and your parents are going to die today

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Yo momma's so fat she is now a sponsor for Jenny Craig after joining the program and loosing almost a 100 pounds. So I suppose she isn't too fat anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What building has the most stories? The Burj Khalifa.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the paraplegic say when he walked? Nothing, paraplegics can't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why did the chicken not cross the road? He ran

thumb_up thumb_down -67

A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

thumb_up thumb_down -95

"What's your name?" "Josephine." "Josephine?" "No, Josephine." "That's what I said." "I know,"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Hey, you must be a parking ticket. Because you are on the windshield of my car.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Eating a bagel, the man was overcome with disappointment, he thought that he had purchased a donut. He later hung himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A blonde, brunette, and a red head were walking on the side of the road and a fridge landed on them and they died. At least they still could go to their funerals.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the black man wash up on shore? He was on a boating trip, deep sea fishing, with some close friends from high school. About half of a mile off shore his ship crashed and sunk to the bottom of the ocean. Sadly, not everyone lived this through this tragic accident. This man was one of them.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: Why did the boy eat an apple? A: A strong man stuffed it down his throat.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the wolf cry boy? Cause he was a pedifile.

thumb_up thumb_down

Two muffins are in an oven. One says "It's getting hot in here". The other one starts to reply but then it's internal organs burst from the heat.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

69

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops