What's big with fat all over it? Your mom on this dick

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Poke her face? No slap her bum!

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"knock Knock" "Who's there?" "The SS, we heard you are smuggling jews in your attic, so you are coming with us."

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

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Why did Hayden Bryant walk down the street? Because he can, dont doubt Hayden Bryant.

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Man#1: Who's John? Man#2: John is John. Who else do you want him to be? Why do you ask stupid questions? Are you naturally this dumb? Do you like the questions I ask? Man#1: (Turns away as he is deeply offended by the man who rudely answered his question.)

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

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I don't know what was a bigger disappointment, the series finale of "Lost" or--sorry I thought I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket.

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what is the best way to stand out from the croud? open up your butt hole and take a video for to put on dat jumbotron

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My wife is so fat that I find her unattractive.

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A kid goes to the doctor and orders a salad. The doctor replies, "This is a smoking-free environment". The kid puts out his cigar and goes to Olive Garden to get his physical.

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What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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What is the difference between a black man and a bike? Bikes are not human beings and therefore cannot experience the ups and downs a human being experiences.

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i see trees are green, Roses are red, Violets are blue and i think to myself What a Wonderful World

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Why was the walrus wearing braces? It wasn't, because it his highly unlikely that people would care about a walrus's dental issues. The walrus would most likely cope with his irregular teeth and move on with its life.

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(Pretend you're an orphan.) Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.

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What happened to the boy who cried wolf? He was brutally raped and killed, Inglewood is really not a place you want your children growing up.

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Hi, my name is Jake.

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Why didn't Susan go to school on show-and-tell day? Because she's dead.

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There are 2 men are standing on the roof of a building, one of them jumps off, the other one is named Peter

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roses are red violets are blue count my five damn finger , and the third one is for you!!!!!!!!

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Where would it be hard to find handicapped parking? At the paralympics.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because he was dead.

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What happens when you throw a blue rock into red water? It gets wet...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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