Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the stock market crashed 600 points today, and his retirement account took a hit. He can't afford his car anymore.

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A woman fell victim to nasty car accident. Her injuries were very grave. The doctors warned her family that she had two hours to live. She died two hours later.

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An Irishman walked out of a bar. A Frenchman was polite. An Englishman had beautiful teeth.

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What do you call a man in a pool with no arms and legs? Bob

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What's a dead baby look like? I don't know, I don't fap with my eyes open.

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A man walks into a bar, he has a terrible drinking problem and he is ruining his family.

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Q: Why didn't the man give money to the homeless person on the sidewalk? A: Because he thought that he was faking it. Two days later the homeless person died in an alleyway from starvation. Nobody was there to witness it, and the body was never found.

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You're a fat chubby McChubchub fatty fatchub because your fat chubby McChubchubfattychub poop is on your fatty fat Mcphat face of fatchubness because you are the fatty lord of McChubby fat kings.

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Why did a black person beat a white person in a race? The white person was hindered because a polar bear was biting their leg the entire time.

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Whats worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies. Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies with one alive at the bottom. Whats worse than a pile of dead babies with one alive at the bottom? It having to eat its way out. Whats worse than it having to eat its way out? It comes back for seconds.

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Person 1: You know whats funny? Person 2: No! What? Person 1: A joke!

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What's the difference between a Jew that is half Jewish and a Jew that is fully Jewish? 1/2

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What's worse than a midlife crisis? Having an affair with the dog.

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Why did the woman cry? She was sodomized by wild animals

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Knock knock Who's there Evan Evan who Evans erectile area is largo with Sarah plains pudding

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What do you have Canasta!!! Were not playing canasta you stupid asshole

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ow

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What do you call the alarm system in a failing inner-city school? A dumbbell!

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Why did Mary fall off the swings? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock, Whos there, Not Mary

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Roses are red, Violets are red, OH SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE

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When faced with an impossible question. I like to give, and maybe receive, an impossible, yet endearing, request/answer to the problem. Sex?

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Yo mama so old, she used to babysit Dumbledore

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Why are there so many jokes about germans on Anti-Joke? Because the Germans epitomize the flavour of anti-jokes perfectly and they have the whole nazi history thing going on which is ripe ground for many an anti-joke

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A. Why did the chicken cross the road? B. It was the chickens decision thus, not affecting your life greatly. You should therefore mind your own business and let the chicken live his life with capability of using it's rights.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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