Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the other kids at recess? I chopped her legs off.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What do you get if you have 59 apples in your right hand and 74 pints of ice cream in your right? Large hands.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

I use to be an adventurer like you! Then I got bored.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's pink, wrinkly and hangs out your trousers? Your nan.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I once looked at a hedge that had the same colour leaves as all of the other hedges in that particular area.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did I kill the Muslim because I'm smart

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the dog say to the astro turf? SHUT UP!! I don't want to here your excuses, put the dishes away when you're done with them or so help me! You see the dog had been abused as a puppy and as a result he was always a bit off.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Communism ... ... ... ... ... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the man cross the road? His mother had recently passed away after a 12 year battle with lung cancer and is visiting her tombstone.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

People used to throw rocks at whores. Now they're throwing wood. *Hint. Hint.*

thumb_up thumb_down

Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she gets tired after one try and has to stop.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How do you get a one armed man to fall out of a tree? Wave.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

ajkswhfuilafhgkfdgbluft

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road? No reason.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I dyed my armpit hair blue yesterday because I wanted to start a new trend. My boyfriend later broke up with me.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

The Dalai Lama orders a slice of pizza for $2 and gives the cashier a $5 bill. He then realizes he hasn't been given any change, so he asks for his change. The cashier quickly apologizes and hands the Dalai Lama three dollar bills.

thumb_up thumb_down

why did the first monkey fall out the tree? he was dead why did the second monkey fall out the tree? he was hit by the first one why did the third monkey fall out the tree? peer pressure why did the fourth monkey fall out the tree? he thought it was a game

thumb_up thumb_down +5

This planking craze is really taking over... my elderly nextdoor neighbour has been planking in her garden for three days straight!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

you are black i am black except for your big hairy ass

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A woman walks out of the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

what happens when you and a 6 foot black guy get stuck on an island? hang him by a tree and make shelter

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What is the most hardest math known to man kind? 1+1=?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops