I have a horse.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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does your face hurt? yeah, neither does mine.

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What do you do with a leg less dog? Take him for a drag.

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what is black and white and red all over? a group of people of mixed races playing paintball.

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On September 11th 2001, A worker of North twin tower man woke up to find his dog had chewed on his brand new phone. He went down stairs and realized his kitchen window had been broken. Getting ready to leave for work and saw his radio had been stolen out of his car. After finally making it to work and settling down in his office he spilled coffee on his lap. Enraged, the man yelled, "How could today get any worse!?"

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1 error prohibited this post from being saved There were problems with the following fields: * Body can't be blank

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Nickelback

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A mailman walks into a bar He delivers a bill for the electricity and leaves.

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What did the doctor say to the camel with no hump? You're a horse.

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Q: Why was the mexican mowing the lawn? A: Because the grass was too tall

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... Chan chan

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why would a man mistake a watermelon for AK-47? i dont know. The man probably has mental issues.

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Why is the apple mushy? Because a car ran over it.

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Whats funnier than a pile of dead babies? A young girl you know personally, completely alone with leukemia.

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There is a asian, mexican and a blonde boy at school. Every day they each get the same food for lunch. The asian always got noodles. The mexican a taco. the blonde boy got pb and j. They decide if they get this lunch again, they will jump off a cliff. The next day they get the same lunch and jump off a cliff. At their funeral the asian mom says " if i had known, i would have made her sushi." the mexican mom says " i would have made her a burrito." The blonde's dad say "hey don't look at me, he makes his own lunch."

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Whats the difference between a Corvette and a dead bag of babies. -there's not a Corvette in my garage

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Roses are Red Toilets are Blue Get out of Me way I Need to POO!

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What did the squirrel say to the other squirrel? Squirrels can't talk.

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what do you call a clown in makeup? a clown, clowns are supposed to wear makeup.

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96

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When Santa got stuck up the chimney he began to shout.. But he didn't shout for long as he soon succumbed to the toxic smoke and died of carbon monoxide poisoning

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A forty-year-old man forces a young child to strip down and take a shower. The child screams and cries, but the man persists angily. He then carries the child into his bed. The child pleads, "Help! Mom, make him stop!" The mother yells back, "Just listen to him. He's your father and it's past your bedtime." This is a common night-time routine for parents with their first child

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chirs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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