Whats worse than getting in an arrow in the side of your neck Finding out there is a gas bill tied to it

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Woah again Nero, you are so wise... I love you, I really do. If someone can and has already changed the world for the better, its you. No wonder people believe you have superhuman abilities, I used to think so too, but I think I understand what humans can do on another level now, you did that, thank you.

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I like apples. So does Mr. Johnson from the local fruit stand.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Why was the girl crying? She just got diagnosed with cancer you inconsiderate bastard.

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What did the wife get her husband after they had intercourse? A sandwich, because she loved him and knew he was hungry.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he felt like it.

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Quick its the weed hide the cops! ... wait...

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Why did Jimmy fall of a building without a paracute? Because he lost a bet.

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I'm not gay (phrase) - A phrase commonly used by straight men.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was stressed & having alot of financial, mental and physical problems so he crossed the road in hope to kill himself. And he did he got ran over by a car, may his soul rest in peace.

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Why did I have sex with your mom? Because she was a beautiful individual with a fine taste in the classical arts. She also offered me a ride to her place for a delicious 3 course meal. Afterwards our romance blossomed and we decided to have sexual intercourse to show our mutual appreciation for each other.

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a plane crashes on the boarder of america and mexico where do you bury the survivors. you dont bury the surviors

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What would Loiter Squad be if the characters were white? A show.

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What did the P.E. coach say to the fat kid? you need to exercise

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There was a girl who was allergic to peanuts she ate peanuts and died the next day. She got hit by a bus.

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how long is a chinese name. how long. yup.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Two men walk into a bar... ..I didn't say what type of bar...

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Wumbo

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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Why couldn't the surgeon perform surgery? Because he was in court being sued due to the fact that he administered too much anesthesia to a patient, who later died of overdose..

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Yo mama so fat because it's in her genes.

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A man walked into a bar. He stayed for a bit and had a good time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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