- Anti Joke

Q: WHY DID GOD MAKE ASIANS? A: NO FREIKEN IDEA

Ask me if I'm a human. Are you a human? Yes.

This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in a village atop a hill. Citizens were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from the age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest. Fear in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He said to himself, there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's Magical Basement. Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonny's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a carton of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took the carton of Ribena, crumpled it up, spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, This poem is getting old, I like cookies.

So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

Horse tits

A man and woman was sitting at a bar. The man bought the woman a roofied drink and she has never been seen again.

Teacher: "Kenny, what is the biggest mammal on land?" Kenny: "A stranded whale."

Why couldnt the man stop the car rolling down the hill? Because he had no legs.

what did the homeless guy get for christmas nothing!

What's worse than 9 dead babies nailed to a tree? 1 dead baby nailed to 9 trees.

Whats black and white all over? Michael Jackson

Q: Why did the irishman walk into the bar A: Because he wanted a drink

What's the difference between a lamp?

Bags of delicious poop.

Women's rights

eat a hot dog

How did the soccer team win? They scored the most goals.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, The middle one's for you!

What is the best thing since sliced bread? Sliced butter.

Why didn't the teen girl get to her appointment? A) She woke up late.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, your parents are dead they never loved you! I found this one on facebook and i just found this site and all yall got some good jokes LOL

if it takes skill to trip over a flat surface, i have no skill...

What did Sherlock Holmes say when he saw a very pretty lady? Hello

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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