what do you call a cow on a rollercoaster? a very dangerous and unlikely event

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a bagel.

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Q. Why were the children sad? A. They'd just been abducted by a dodgy old man in a van.

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whats worse than vegetables? Fisting Grandmas

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What do you get if you pour water over a firework? A wet firework

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What's the difference between my mom, and a bag of garbage? A bag of garbage is incapable of contracting aids

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Why is America such a great place to live? It's not North Korea.

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A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation is known as fishing for compliments. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

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How did the blonde girl get pregnant? Her boyfriend used a condom left in his pants and then was washed. Making it defective and causing her her to become pregnant.

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Hello, this is Chuck Norris speaking.

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Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

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What's for dinner tonight? Your mom's vagina.

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what did the child say to his mother? daddy raped me!

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I like dogs. Lots of dogs. Meow.

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what did jake say to the priest? hmmm, salty

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If you give a hobo a stick he might poke u with it

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what has one ear, one leg, one eye, one arm, and is Jewish half a Jew

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A man saw a dinosaur yesterday. He had a very nice time at the museum.

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Q: why was the baker a coward? A: his own mother told him his potential would amount to nothing more than a baker and when a dinosaur came into the bakery he ran away

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knock knock. whos there?(haha ive never made my own joke before) Nick Nick who? Nick Saghir Oh, come in. Would you like some cookies?

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None,it eats plants.

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Why was the Jamaican man smoking pot? His doctor prescribed it. The man has a serious case of glaucoma.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm homosexual And so is my boyfriend Jeremy, with whom I have shared countless evenings of joy and laughter.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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