Past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense!

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I'm not as random as you think i salad.

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I was walking down the street next thing I new 15 blacks and Hispanics died in a dive buy. The next day every white guy in the cars doin the drive buy blew up ohwell

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A pilot.

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A man noticed that the sun was coming in brightly through his window. He was trying to take a nap and didnt appreciate the sunlight. He closed the blinds.

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Once upon a time a girl took a gun and shot herself in the face

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Why am I writing this? Cuz I am eating babies alive right now!

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What do you get when you write your own anti-joke? Herpes.

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Where do penguins keep their money? No where. Penguins don't have a money economy

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What happens when you shoot a priest in the heart? He dies.

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suzy took a bath with bubbles what?......... I'm sure bubbles is a nice guy

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Why didn't the boy eat chocolate yesterday Because he was allergic.

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What you you call peanut butter on the top of a dog house Peanut butter

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Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are all dead

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Yo momma is so old that she will be moved to a nursing home next week.

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What is the most dangerous gull in the world? A gull with a machine gun!

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How do you get a person to jump off a cliff? You push them.

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Once upon a time there was a young teenager who was bullied a lot. She died 100 years ago.

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What did the dog say to its owner? well as you can see it is physically impossible for a dog to speak english or any other langueges such as french, spanish or chinese.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he got hit by a bus. Why did he get hit by a bus? Because his mom was laughing. Why was his mom laughing? Because she was driving the bus. Why was she driving the bus? Because the boy fell off a swing. Why did he fall off a swing? Because he didn't have any arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because his diabetic monkey had the flu. Why did his diabetic monkey have the flu? Because the boy was crying.

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Whats worse that biting into an apple with a worm in it? The Holocaust.

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How do u get a baby to stop choking? Take ur c*ck out if its mouth!!!

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Im batman...suck it losers

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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