Q. What's long and hard and full of seamen? A. A penis. Oops, I misspelled "semen". Sorry. Also, to clarify, this doesn't describe the normal state of the average penis. Usually they are flaccid, and they can only be said to be "full of semen" at the exact moment of ejaculation.

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Why did Timmy stop running? He got hit by a bus

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How do you blindfold and Asian? By using a sturdy bandanna, cloth, any other object to avert ones view.

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What do a pizza man and a gynecologist have in common? They are both hardworking members of the community!

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sometimes i put my hands on the floor tuck my head into my cheat and lean forward... because thats how i roll

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Whats The difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash And one is a watermelon

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what's round, hairy, has eight legs- but isn't a spider? A spider.

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where was the heart of ocean found. madelain mcanns urn

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What's Mexico's favorite sport? Cross Country

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how does wasabi stay open during summer because tiffany is a nice person

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why did the chicken cross the road? there was chicken food on the other side

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How can you tell if a duck is behind you? Turn around

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A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

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roses are red and violets are blue and i was going to write something that rimes but that is not funny here.

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What Can't You See and Stinks A Fart.

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There are two types of people in this world: Those who can finish lists. and

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Q: If you are debating whether to smoke marijuana, consider: what will your mother say when she finds your corpse? A: As a relatively harmless and non-addictive substance, Marijuana was most likely not the cause of my child’s death. It was probably AIDS.

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What's the safest way to tell a racist joke? Ask everybody who might hear the joke if they would be offended by a racist joke.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your Bike.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? This is 7, if you do everything I say, 6 will live.

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Why did the chicken itch it's bum? Cause it's bum was itchy

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Jesus may have walked on water, but Stephen Hawking runs on batteries.

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From the makers of Call of Duty 1, comes Call of Duty 2.

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What did the black man buy at the fruit shop? Some bananas.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops