What did Helen Keller say to her eye doctor? Nothing, she is incapable of speech.

my aunt Always used to say"go with the flow" she died in a kayak accident last Sunday

Nuneaton..

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in an oven.

Cnorris can carry very heavy objects

A new scientific study has scientists baffled as it clearly shows that teen sex drastically decreases at age 20.

a boy walks in a house and mother says hi who are you and the boy says does it really matter whad really maters is wht you will do about your dead son

Whats the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

why did katy fall off her bike?

Why was Billy's grandma not around for Thanksgiving? Because she's dead

Stick figure says to the artist "Can't you make it any bigger?" Artist:"No, I ran out of lead?"

Why did the scarecrow win the nobel prize? Cos he was out standing in his field!

Knock Knock. Who's there *gun shot*

Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

What did the little boy do when he got his test grade? Cried, it was 0

Beethoven! It is true? Did you really lose your hearing? Yes.

why was the man scared of the tree because it was shady

What KFC? Deep fried aborted babies.

Knock knock Who's there? Happy 9/11

Why did the egg crossed the road? If X = chicken and C = the speed of light, then 2 to the power of the road which is 12 feet across times X/C = egg

How do you sleep? With a knife I just saved a lot of money by switching to Geico......with a knife I'm going to the restroom, with a knife. How do you do a back flip with no hands? With a knife. What is 2 plus 2? The answer is 4, with a knife. Would like you like to go see a movie with me...with a knife? Today, I'm going to show you how bake a strawberry chocolate cake...with knife. I'm sorry, you have the wrong number...with a knife. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side....with a knife. A man walks to a bar and orders a shot of vodka....with a knife. Omg, I just saw Miley Cyrus at the mall today....with a knife. In Soviet Russia, blah blah blah, with a knife. How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? 1, with a knife. I'll be back in time for dinner, I'm going to the gym and work on my abs....with a knife.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding 2 worms in your apple.

how do fit 104 jews in a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 100 in the ash tray.

you got Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift, and Reese Witherspoon. Which do you think is more succesful

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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