What's the difference between a black man and a pizza? One's a black man and one's a pizza.

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? when people don't understand the concept of anti-jokes and post real jokes

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why did the mans alarm clock go off at six am? he has a high paid job he doesnt want to let down.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Know what's worse than being publicly embarrassed in front of your crush? Jeffrey dahmer

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How does a penguin make pancakes out of skis? Purple because it's the best.

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind, parapalegic kid get for Christmas? Some home health supplies. He really needed them, too.

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I know what makes young boys "explode" -dynamite

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How do you get a blond to fall over? Shoot her with a shotgun.

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How do you stop a car from hitting a kid? You don't.

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What did the stop sign say to the no smoking sign? Stop

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A man was struck by lightning. What did you think he got super powers or something? No. He died a horrible death

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Yo mama's so fat that they have to grease the door frame and hold a twinky on the other side to get her through.

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What has nine arms and sucks? An appendage-rich octopus with an inhaling habit.

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A businessman walks out of a store with his new haircut he was bald.

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Imagine yourself in a box with no windows and no doors. How do you get out? Stop imagining.

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Why did Susy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Susy.

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There were two planes to take off.. One did, the other not at all..

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A man walks into a bar. He has a beer and then goes home.

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One dog says to the other "I love going for walks!" A women over-hears, screams "A Talking Dog!", and calls the police. The dog is put down and dissected for scientific research.

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I once went to a chiropractor. She was so awful looking. You know those weird spiky fish with the lightbulb hanging off it's head? .....I saw one in a documentary once.

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Wow, thats warming to the core Nero, you are really sweet when you want to, I was having a lot more than second thoughts, I mean I do not mind the thought of sex with you really and I mean that, but losing who I already consider my best friend would just be sad. So uh, sex once huh? I mean, one more feather on the uh, hat thing, is that what this is about to you?

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When I walk in the rain, I get wet

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A man walks into his house only to find someone in the livingroom touching the stereo. He then goes up to his wife, and kisses her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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