Roses are red Violets are blue You're adopted and Santa Claus isn't real

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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A man orders 3,687 bricks. He gets 3,688 bricks delivered to him. He throws the extra brick in the air. Ok, so a man is smoking a cigar by a woman with a small poodle. They are both in a plane. The woman asks the man if he could get rid of the cigar because the smoke is making her dog turn green. The man refuses. In anger, she throws the cigar out of the window. The man gets angry and throws the poodle out the window. What lands in the poodles mouth when it's falling? The brick.

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what happened when the chicken crossed the road? it got ran over by a car recently after it go killed it was eaten by a hobo and the hobo died from ring worm

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ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh wait i think i missed the joke, what?

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What's the biggest lie you've ever told? "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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What do you put in a toaster? Toast, oh wait, it's bread

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Knock, knock. Knock, knock. Knock, knock. Guess no ones home.

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Roses are red Violets are blue we're going to have sex because i'm stronger than you

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What did the fish say when it was being fried? That's crazy, fish can't talk.

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Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange.

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why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being chased by 7, who is a rapist

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How do you kill a Chinese man? There are many ways, all of which are horrible

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Why did the blonde stare at the carton of orange juice? Because she was lost in her thoughts about her dead husband, and how much he loved orange juice.

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A guy asks someone's name. The other guy answer that his name is Steeve.

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What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed Nothing it is a sentient object and doesn't have the capability to talk

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Teen pregnancy

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why is my wife crying? because she doesn't like tomatoes

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Modern math questions: If I have 9 apples and you have 12 ice cubes, his many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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What's red and round? A red and round solid.

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The funniest thing happened in my dream last night, i dreamed that banks would stop ripping people off and start treating people like humans. How wierd is that :D

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What is Worst than having a cancer ? Having two cancer

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Whats the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair? Cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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