Justin Bieber walked into a strip club. Selena Gomez wasn't there.

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How do you get a black man off a swing? ask him.

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Why did the blond couldn't put a piece of meat into her mouth? Because she was vegetarian.

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Q)What is the best way to get the bitches? A) You shouldn't try. You could go to prison on bestiality charges.

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What's the same between grapes and squirrels? They're both purple, except for the squirrel.

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Why do we learn about the Civil Rights Movement in History class? So it won't happen again.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

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So a man walks into a bar. Unfortunately, he had brittle bone disease, cracked open his skull and bled to death on the pavement.

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What do you give an obese person with diabetes? Insulin.

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What are the black specks in birdshit called? That's birdshit too.

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A man runs over a woman wth his car. Whose fault was it? The man because he should be driving on the roads, not in the kitchen.

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Why did the boy take the girls backpack? he has this many hands

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What did one ginger say to the other We have red hair

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What's worse than nine dead babies hanging in a tree? One dead baby hanging in nine trees.

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how many Pikachu's can you get in a mini? 14.

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What do you call a donkey that can't speak? Whatever you want to call it...I prefer to call it a donkey that can't speak!

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An airplane has 100 bricks on-board. If you drop one brick, how many bricks would be left? 99 -------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you put a giraffe inside a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, put the giraffe inside, close the refrigerator. -------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you put an elephant inside a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put the elephant inside, close the refrigerator. -------------------------------------------------------------------- The Lion King gathered all the animals from the land to a meeting. Everyone came, except one. Who was the animal? The elephant. He's still inside the refrigerator. ------------------------------------------------------------------- You want to cross a river, but you know that there are crocodiles there. There is no bridge, vines to swing from, etc. How do you cross the river? Swim across the river. The crocodiles are at the meeting with The Lion King. ------------------------------------------------------------------- So you swimmed over the river, but how did you still die? You were hit by the brick falling from the airplane.

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How do you creep out a clown? Pet him softly and call him kitty kat while making a guttural sound that is not socially acceptable in mainstream American society.

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Send creepy emails to this email address: matt.harrington@highlandcatholic.org

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What do you call a pickle with a cape? A pickle with a cape

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This made my day: The Japanese verb "to drink" is "nomimasu". [L]

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, didn't you read the sign on the front door? It says, "People with suits on will not be served." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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Knock knock who is there ? i'm an orphaned, sir can you tell me why did you write who "is" instead of who's ?? because than i will have to use the (') key and its very far not to mention that i have to use the shift key do u want a pizza ? how much ? 50 cents ? get the hell out ? im not even in yet !

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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