Q. What did the fat man say when he ate a salad? A. Yum.

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What do you do when a blonde falls up an elevator? Pray, and hope Jesus will take you as well. Just kidding, Jesus isn't real.

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knock knock whose there? penis penis who? penis want vagina

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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What's brown and sticky? Poo.

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What do you call a Mexican who steals cars? John Doe, until he's been identified.

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Q: What did the Jew get for Christmas? A: Nothing you dumbass, Jews don't celebrate Christmas.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I've lost my tractor!

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Smoke Day, Every Weed.

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Why did the black man have a gun in his hand? He was crossing through a dangerous neighborhood and was offering protection to himself and his family.

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3 penguins meet each other in penguin #1's backyard for a pool party. The first penguin climbs up the steps of the water slide gets to the top, looks around and then slides down the slide *SPLASH* The second penguin climbs up the steps, looks around then slides down the slide *SPLASH* The third penguin hastily climbs the steps and slides down the slide radio -Soulbroker

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How long will it take for a dog to paint a color wheel? I don't know.

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CHICKEN it is a chickenly chickeny food we eat WRONG

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What's longer then Kim Kardashian's Wedding? 73 days.

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what happened when glen haire jumped of a high building? he died.

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What do you call a man with short legs? Whatever his name is

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Q: What word contains all the letters in the alphabet? A: A made-up word, probably.

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a homeless man walks into a bar, the bartender and patrons treat him nicely, and sympathize for his current situation.

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How do you get a girl with two jobs to drop on her knees? Through a penny on the knees

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Which came first, the chicken or the egg? It's a meaningless question because animals had been creating eggs for millions of years before chickens ever evolved.

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once you go black your credit goes wack

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kennah campion... being nice

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You the same as before? I am being a bit overly cautious I admit that, I would call you, the problem is that while you are either pretty good at pretending to be innocent and all, or actually pretty down to earth, I mean I would probably applaud you for tricking me into believing you are pretty sweet before, but I got my wife and her family to take care off now, its not quite the same getting stabbed in the back anymore,

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Two peanuts walk down the street. One was a salted.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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