I am a joke. I am funny.

My Grandma has Alzheimers and always repeats what she says. My Grandma has Alzheimers and always repeats what she says. (Submitted by Aidan)

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? -a black man that left his family

What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

You- I came up with a new word! Friend- What is it? You- Plagiarism.

who looks like justin bieber and is really cool? george darling but i lied about him being cool.

Little Johnny is sleeping overnight at a school camping trip. The teacher goes around to check tents to make sure everybody is falling asleep fine. Little Johnny, however, says, "Miss, I am scared of the dark. Can I sleep in your tent instead?" The teacher reluctantly agrees, finishes checking around and brings Little Johnny to her tent. "Miss, can I play with your belly button with my finger? My mommy lets me", asks little Johnny. The teacher reluctantly agrees. Suddenly, the teacher jumps up. "THAT WASN'T MY BELLY BUTTON!", she shouts. "Yeah," says Little Johnny. "Well that wasn't my finger, either."

knock! knock! Who's there ...So y do you have a peep whole?

Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? Nope.

Yo mamas so fat she is obese

A jew, a catholic and a muslim walk into a bar. The catholic man dies of a massive heart attack and the other two men mourn their friend for weeks.

i found the cure to cancer.......AIDS

i quit soccer because science happened and then i forgot how to screw in a lightbulb

69

Knock Knock Who's There? Jehovah's Witness

Arron Glass

I look back at all those hours I wasted playing those stupid video games, but then I'm reminded of all those people I brutally killed.

The asian parent's look at their child and say in an angry voice. "Y U NO DOCTOR." The kid was amazed how uneducated they were in english after living in america for 10 years.

Friends are like balloons.. If you stab them they die.

Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

How did the guy feel after his wife died? Pretty shitty, I'd imagine..

What do you get when you put a dead baby and some nails in a blender? A dead baby and some nails

Why did Susie drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus. Knock-knock. Who's there? Not Susie.????

I hate blackniggers

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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