What did the Liver say to the Heart? Nothing, Organs can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Did you hear about my new Muslim friend? Hes the bomb!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did Bob the Builder die? He had cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What the difference between some stoned and someone drunk? When your drunk you think having a good time even when you not and when you stoned your so high you think your a dragon ball z character.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the man die? A fridge fell on him.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock knock Who's there Done Done who? Done with waiting out here, let me in you dick!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was a recovering alcoholic who recently relapsed and drove his car through his garage. He took his anger out on his wife and kids. His wife kicked him out and filed for divorce. Conveniently, the liquor store is across the street.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What happened to to dyslexic giraffe that tripped over a brick. It got back up.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

There was a man with a job and kids. One day he came home from his job and went to sleep. He never woke up because it turns out he had a heart attack.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

My dog has no nose, so how does it smell? It can't, I just told you it has no nose.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

There once was a genie With a sevenfoot weenie And he went to the lady next door She thought it was a snake So she hit it with a rake And then he murdered the shit out of her.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do you call a Chineses filled with bus?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

There was a man from the hood, His limericks weren't very good, So he decided to become a purveyor of monogrammed handkerchiefs and other fine linen products.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the math teacher get after he ate and he ate? A full stomach.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why didn't the boy respond to the text? His phone had run out of charge.

thumb_up thumb_down +132

Two guys walk into the woods an saw a naked lady.One guys ran away. When his friend met up with him he ask why did u run away. He siad "my mom said if i a naked lady that i would turn to stone and i felt myself getting hard."

thumb_up thumb_down

why did the couple sell their house? their children were all raped and then murdered in it and they cant stand the memories

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the boy miss the school bus? He died in his sleep

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Roses are red, violets are blue something stinks and I think it's you!

thumb_up thumb_down +84

GAME OVER!!!!!! OF COURSE!!!!!! I BEHELD AS SATAN FELL FROM THE SKY..: LIKE LIGHTNIIIIIIIIIIIING! Street Fighter 2: The (antijoke) Movie. Moral: Raul Julia, you are the man, rest in peace dude you made that movie a masterpiece, do not give this a thumbs up for me, but for the most brilliant performance he ever gave.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did the bus driver say to the black man? I like your shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call a black guy with a gun? A soldier.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops