Q: John has 400 cookies, 200 hundred are chocolate chip and the rest are sugar. John eats 100 of each, what does he have now? A: Diabetes

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tennis grunts . . . no different from sex noises

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Why was the baby crying? He saw a black guy

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An eggo waffle had three friends that he will be inviting to his Superman birthday party. WHich friend will get the first piece of cake? Nobody the party was canceled.

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Elephants can't jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

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Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

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What did the black guy, the latino guy, and the asian guy all have in common? They were all human beings

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What do you call an anti joke with no punchline?

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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What do a turtle and a tree have in common? They both can fly except for the turtle............and the tree

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Why is it bad luck for a black cat to cross your path? I'll tell you in Heaven

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a fox stapled to his face.

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What do you call a man with an Eye patch and no arms? Names.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Some poems rhyme This doesn't.

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Why is my penis rainbow colored?

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What's five miles long and has an IQ of 40? A democrat parade.

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.

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Whats black and red inside? A black guy

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Why did Quinn yell at his group project partner? Because he hated him.

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Your mother is so ugly that nobody wants to date her because she is hideous.

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What's worse than a shotgoun to the balls? Nothing.

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whats black and white? a zebra

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Why was the pirate not allowed into the movie? tickets were sold out

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Your mother is so fat that she once ate an entire peach cobbler in one sitting and chastised herself yet again for her lack of self-control over her eating habits and her need to fill the holes in her self esteem with the short-lived gratification she gains from eating too much of the foods she finds tasty.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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