Q: How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? A: They beat her.

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How many Bedouins do you need to change a light bulb? 2, one is changing the bulb and the second is powering the generator.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who let the chickens out?!

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how do you kill a blond? there are many ways but every one of them is illegal and could be criminally chargeable.

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What did pikachu say when his trainer was murdered? Pikachu.

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I SHOT SOMEBODY!!!! Said no stormtrooper ever.

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KANE AUDITIONS FOR BRITAINS GOT TALENT SIMON COWEL REAPES HIM

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Andy. You're late, I've been piss-arsing about waiting for you to get here.

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A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer walk into a bar. They order some drinks, sit quietly and stare at their shoes until they've finished their drinks, then go back home and wallow in loneliness, wishing their social skills weren't so abysmal.

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Girl look at that body, girl look at that body, I got passion in my pants... Actually I lied, I got a penis and testicles in my pants, but I'm afraid to show it because people might think it's small, sorry

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The man says to the doctor "Sir, I have contracted a terrible headache." The doctor replies back, "Yes you do."

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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Doctor, doctor, I think I've got a problem! Correct, you have got acute cancer, you have 2 months to live.

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Does Fall come before winter? There is no defiant answer due to the fact that all seasons are in a cycle and our race has no answer to which season happened first on Earth.

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Why did Suzy drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Suzy!

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roses are red facebook is blue you look f**kable so i'll add you by: matt

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How are grapes and squirrels similar? They're both purple. Except for the squirrel.

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knock knock. whos there?(haha ive never made my own joke before) Nick Nick who? Nick Saghir Oh, come in. Would you like some cookies?

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What's black, white, and red all over? The color scheme. Except for the black and white. They're shades.

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Knock knock. Who's there? James. James who? You know, from across the road? But where's the punchline? This isn't a joke. Isn't it? No. Can you still add a punchline? OPEN THE DOOR!

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What do you say to a hamster? 42 and weasels

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Women Voting

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How do you make a baby stop crying? Make it smell its own diaper then, drown it in its own tears.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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