Q. How do you make your dog stop barking? A. Take it to the grocery store. Replace it with any popsicle in the fridge.

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Why did the kid fall off the swing? He had no legs.

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How many rats live in a llamas stomach? the cats pajamas

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why doesnt cornelia say anything? she didnt answer

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what does an adhd kid that causes all kind of trouble get? a buncha ass whoopins and some meds to dope his ass up

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Why do I staple a mans mouth to his penis. Because I wanted to

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

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Guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. He orders a beer with two cubes of ice. The bartender ask why does he want two cubes of ice. The guy doesn't answer. He finishes his beer and proceeds to go home safely because he was not intoxicated.

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Q: What did Santa give the little boy for Christmas? A: Nothing, he's not real

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What do you call a guy with out any arms or legs floating in the ocean? Bob

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chuck norris multiplied by zero equals zero.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a swing set? Because she didn't.

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Why did Captain Hook die? He wiped.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? You poker face.

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What's black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Blackberries! -by Ross

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I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I drink water!

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A 75 year old man walks into a college classroom and sits down. He suffers from severe dementia and realizes that he's been in the classroom before. A 75 year old man walks into a college classroom...

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jack be nimble jack be quick jack is a parapeligic.....there's no need for more

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What do you call a blonde falling off a cliff? Screwed.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her a question.

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Where did John go? Refrigerator

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What do you get when you cross drugs with a bathtub? Whitney Houston's worst nightmare

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what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

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Why did Johnathan drop his popsicle? He was hit by a bus. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Johnathan

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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