Q: How do you get a bunch of mexicans attention? A: Say excuse me, can I have your attention please?

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why do people put their pants on in the morning? because their not nudists.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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why was the woman making a sandwich in the kitchen? because at the age of 3 she faced the hard reality of being nothing more in life then serving her husband to the day she die

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Why did the man cross the road He didn't, he died after being hit by a car

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what do you call obama a dumbass

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Two fish were lying on a bank. One said "I can't breath." The other one was dead.

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A man walks into a bar The bar now has a hole in it.

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GIRLS that think they can out-drink MEN.

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Knock Knock No one answers....

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why did the asian wearing a sombrero buy orange juice at 2am? because hes trying to stay sober and do away with alcohol for good because its ruining his family and he wants to be a good father and husband.

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Q. Why did the man fall off his bike? A. He was hit by a canoe.

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How do you make a plumber cry You kill it's family

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Whats worse then being raped? Nothing it will ruin your life.

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Why did the man cross the road? He was obviously trying to get to his work, however he realized he was jaywalking in front of a cop and had to pay a fine and ended up being late to work.

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A blind man walks into a bar....and a chair....and a table....and a wall....and a person... etc.

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Q: What's the meaning of life? A: A bush, have you ever been dragged through one? It hurts.

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Why does Eli Manning play for the Giants? Because he is huge.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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What does a dinosaur and TImmy's mom have in common? They're both dead

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When life gives you lemons. You make beef stew. #andymilinokis

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Teacher- Pick the odd one out- Man, whale, bat, squirrel, frog Student- Whale. All others are found in Nebraska

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What's black and white and red all over? A mime lying in a pool of blood.

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A:knock, knock B:who's there A:come in B:come in who A:me I'm gay

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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