How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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What hurts more than a papercut? A chainsaw between your legs.

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what did the ninja say to the watermelon ? nothing

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Why did the man walk into a bar? I don't know? Ask him. by Burflared

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Why did the plane crash The pilot, being an uneducated pilot, crashed the plane as he didn't have proper training, and the whole of the passengers died.

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So Helen Keller walks into a bar...

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An Asian tries to climb a staircase in a wheelchair. He finds this difficult, because he is in a wheelchair.

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Why do black people like watermelons so much? They don't. It's just a stereotype.

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A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to a near by hospital where he is treated for a concussion.

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A: How do you make a fire with two sticks? B: Ask your mother, we did it last night.

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What does a mexican do when he gets lost in the woods? He does his best to find food, shelter, and water until a search and rescue operation finds him.

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Why is Osama bimladin dead? Because he was a threat to American for many years, and someone finally found him and killed him.

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Katy perry isn't on clould nine because it's physicaly impossible to stand on water persipitation.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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Your mom is so stupid... She was unable to go to college and therefore was not able to find a good job.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? A Boy Scout comes home from camp.

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Whats funny about the Holocaust? Nothing.

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There once was an old lady who lived in a shoe. She had so many children, her vagina fell off.

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Jimmy wet his pants in class during geography class. The teacher asked: "Oh Jimmy, why did you do that?" Jimmy answered: "I don't know" Everyone laughed at him and Jimmy went home very sad. And with wet pants.

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What's a pirate's favorite color? Depends on the pirate.

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why is king kong so fat? because he eats to mucj

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How many Terry Pratchetts does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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A Mexican, a Jew and an African walk into a bar. Now, it seem it was the Jew's turn to pay for drinks. So, all three ordered drinks, and the Jew paid for them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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