why was the panda sent to prison? he played a major roll in the bombing of 9-11

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Pants and God shorts: God: Jews ur my people nao! Jews: Yay we are Gods chosen people! Riches and gRape awaits us! World domination next! God: Well, not quite what I meant but, err... Close enough? Jews: YAY! Moral: So much for "the chosen ones" :(

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Becasue she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Person 1: What do you get when you cross a cow and your mom? Person 2: What? Person 1: A cow that looks like your mom

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A patient walks into a clinic and says, "Doctor, Doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains!" The doctor replies, "I have no interest in whether or not you feel like purchasing items to spruce up your home."

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What do you get when you mate an elephant with a rhino? Not much of anything except inter-species animal sex, considering the fact that the two do not share enough genetic material to create any sort of offspring.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You steal his princess

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Q: What do dogs and wind have in common? A: They're both blue. Except the dog. Or the wind. Wind is colorless.

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How do you kill a blonde? You stab her many times in the ear with a fork......Then finsih her off with a spoon. No knives those hurts

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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i feel like i will die some heroic death, but its more likely i will trip over my dog and choke on a spoonful of frosting.

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What happened to the lady living in the present, crossing a street? Let's watch her and find out.

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Were you born yesterday? Because I've got an erection...

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What do you call a black man with a guitar? His name

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Microsoft Windows

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what did the paraplegic get for his birthday? a bike...

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Why was the little girl crying Someone therew a dump truck at her

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs go for christmas? Cancer

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A possesed goat: "moo"

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If life hands you lemons you're probably hallucinating

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Q-"what did the carrot say to the plant" A-"nothing because neither one of these objects can talk"

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The Lord said to John: "Go forth and receive eternal life" But John went fifth... So he won a toaster

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What's worse than being gay? Dying in a gas chamber in the Holocaust.

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What is big, eats cats, smells good, but looks like shit? A big, cat eating, good smelling piece of shit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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