Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Being caught by the store manager, arrested, convicted, and thrown into jail for petty theft and then getting ass-raped for the next 3 months all because you wanted to check an apple without paying for it.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are red violets are blue ice-cream is yummy can I eat you

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Did you fall from heaven? Cause your face is pretty messed up!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

you and your family will die tonight

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What has legs but can't walk? A paralyzed man.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

a

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A drunk guy walks into a bar and falls flat on his back. Upset, he then finds a bathroom. An hour later he is arrested for beating off in the bathroom. off is pressing charges.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

2 Penises

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: what did the poor, blind, deaf, orphan girl get for Christmas? A: cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Because he was bringing food to support his wife and 3 kids whom were very hungry and needed it to survive.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why couldn't Billy write his own name... ...because he was wearing purple lemonade???

thumb_up thumb_down +4

There once was a girl who took away my source of entertainment. Her name was Nicole.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's funnier than 24? 25.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

i like my babies how i like my potatoes..... skinned

thumb_up thumb_down +20

knock knock Who's there? ... Hello?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dead one.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you tell if a politician is lying? You make him take a polygraph test.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What do Micheal Jackson and Niel Armstrong have in common? Armstrong did the earthwalk on the moon and Jackson F#$%ed little boys in the butt.

thumb_up thumb_down +136

What happened to the turtle that was on land Dead

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How do you wake up lady gaga? Set an alarm for an appropriate time

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the Mexican go to the food marke To get some food.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A blonde just got a call from her boyfriend. He said i'll meet you at your house, so the blonde drove home, excited. Once the blonde got home her boyfriend was having sex with another girl. The blonde burst into tears and pulled out her gun then stuck it to her head. " No dont do it!" her boyfriend said!...... the blonde, not knowing what to do next said, " Shut up you cheater you're next!"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

You stink so bad that you should cleanse yourself via shower and/or bath.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats the difference between a black man and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of 5

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops