whats the difference between a pizza and a jew -a pizza is food

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A new family have moved in next to me. They have three little kids and they've challenged me to a water fight in the back yard, so I'm just writing this while I'm waiting for the kettle to boil

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose fell on your head." ..."MMMBBWWAAAAAGGGHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a cooler? 5. using a blender to puree` = 9

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What did the priest do to the young catholic boy? Bless him.

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How do you lock out a Chinese Person? Lock the door

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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A preposition is a bad thing to end a sentence with.

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Do you want to hear the best joke ever? Me too!

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yo mama so fat she has diabetes.

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Why did the girl fall She didn't she was eaten by a bear

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What did the Ginger get for his birthday? A soul...................................……................……………•

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because that's where the oncologist's office is.

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Your mom's so hairy, she should go to the barber!

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Cheese

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Why couldn't the girl go to the bathroom? Because she was obese.

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how many babies does it take to paint a wall? it depends on how hard you throw 'em.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Why shouldn't you ask Lebron James for change for a dollar? Because in the year 2013 Lebron will tear his ACL and will never able to play the game again. He then won't be able to land a job because he never finished college. After being unable to land a job, he then develops an expensive crack addiction. His house gets foreclosed, and he becomes broke. And is then a homeless broke man who does not even have 4 quarters to his name.

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The early bird gets the worm, but the angry bird gets the pig.

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Once a upon of time, there was 7 dwarfs. Their names are Sleepy, Stupid, Sexy, Shithead, Sonovabitch, Shutup, and Simon. They are a street gang called the 7 dwarfs and was notorious for causing trouble. All the dwarfs got away from the police except for Simon, because that was his real name.

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so a baby seal walks into a club, the bouner immedietly kicks the seal out because it is too young to be in a club and also.....itsa seal

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Roses are red violets are blue I have boobs and so do you

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A) why did the black guy leave the bar B) cause he was tired and wanted to go home

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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