Q: What did the diddler say to the little boy? A: Can i touch you inappropriately?

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You should get a new joke book............ because the newest edition has just be released

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What is green and if it fell on you from a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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a black guy a mexican guy and a puerto rican guy are driving together in a car whos driving? Whoevers car it is.

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Two guys walk into a bar, but the third guy is a duck.

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Hi! Do you know how much a polar bear weighs? Roughly 1150 pounds if a full grow male.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Beans, beans the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more likely you are to realize that beans aren't actually fruit. They're legumes.

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Why did the baby die? Lack of oxygenated blood to the brain.

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Can I have a dollar? I don't know, can you?

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Guy- Wanna hear a joke about my dick? Nah, it's too long. Girl- Wanna hear a joke about my vagina? Nah, you'll never get it.

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What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

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What animal wouldn't you want to play games with? Probably none of them. They are animals and incapable of playing board games.

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What's the difference between a ball and a bouncy ball? A bouncy ball is bouncy.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because a black man was chasing his dinner.

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roses are red, violets are blue, my name is dave, this makes no sense microwave.

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A black man and a white man walk into a job interview. Neither of them get the job due to lack of skill in the field.

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have a Gun Get in the Van

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Yo mama is so fat that she has to buy plus size clothes because small size clothes would be inappropriate for her to wear.

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Q: What do you call a black pilot? A: A pilot, you racist

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Your momma is so fat she has an increased risk or cardiac arrest due to obesity. I ridicule her based on the theory that her morbid obesity is due to the fact that she has a diet consisting of large amounts of calories and high fat content and/or she is known to be very sedentary and does not partake in physical exercise. However, if this increase in body fat content is due to genetics I retract my previous statement and wish only the best for her, also, you might want to lower your calorie intake and visit your local gym, lest you succumb to morbid obesity, much like your mother.

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Why do skinny women eat their food fresh cooked? So that they don't contract food-borne diseases and risk dying.

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Why did the bus driver tell the black man to get to the back of the bus? Because all the seats up front were full and its dangerous to stand in a moving vehicle

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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