What happened to the guy that stuck his finger up his asshole? It felt GOOOOOOODD

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? Nickleback.

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why was the giraffes head so far away from his body? because he has a long neck

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How do you get a woman to stop nagging? Smack her in the face.

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I hate it when people pour my cereal. They don't know how much I want. They don't know my life. They don't know what I've been through.

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Whats worse than standing on lego? Rebecca black. whats worse than Rebecca Black? Justin Bieber. Whats worse than justin Bieber? Standing on a baby that isnt yours.

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Leave. Now.

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What do you get when you give a homeless man a sandwich? It thrown at the back of your head.

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Why did the kid get on the bus. Because he had to go home

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wat did one chicken say to the other bock bock

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What did the man get when he returned from Africa? AIDS

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i joined the nazis... but 2 days later i found out i am a jew

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John: Hey Pablo why are you standing outside Home Depot. Pablo: Because I work here.

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Cripples are lame.

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So a Dog walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a glass of skotch, the bartender realizes he must be dreaming. At that very moment he realises he is in a lucid dream. Since this is the case he decides to murder his wife who is in bed right next to him as an expiriment. Since its a lucid dream it doesnt matter. Next he goes down to the fridge and pulls out some old pizza. He sits down for about half an hour eating it along with a box of tuis that also magically appeared in his fridge. Then he goes outside steals the neighbours car takes it for a ride to his Sister-In-Laws house who he has always wanted to root. He goes over breaks the window with his hand. The lucid dream feels so real to him because he pains from the glass in his hand and then he goes up stairs finds his sister-in-law sleeping so he hops into bed with her. At the same moment the police arrive because they followed him from his home were they recieved complants they heard him kill his wife. Everything starts to turn into a nightmare, so scared he trys to make himself wake up. However he cannot. This is not a lucid dream. This is reality. Pizza was in his fridge because he had it for dinner the night before, Beer did not magically appear. his wife had bought it when she went gorccery shopping. He killed his wife, then stole his neighbours car and attempted to rape his Sister-in-law. So now he is going to jail. And no lawyer wants to take up the case so this man is doomed. No hope at all of ever being a free man again

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I see, said the deaf man to the blind guy.

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What's red and goes pop? A clip art of the word "Pop"

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What has got 56 eyes, 1 leg and 3 arms ? I don't know but that's right behind you.

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Q: What's the point? A: .

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whats brown and booky a book.

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I had a "What would jesus do bracelet" and some kid kicked me in the shin... As i was contemplating on what to do to him, i looked at the bracelet and remembered.... SO I SET HIM ON FIRE AND SENT HIM TO HELL!!!

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I think everybody should have a penis. Does that make me a bad feminist?

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What's moist wet and I put my finger in it? My nose.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house red. Babies, especially dead ones cannot paint.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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