What do you sit on, sleep on and brush your teeth with? A chair, a bed, and a toothbrush

thumb_up thumb_down -4

2 persons in an elevator then, one guy says: dude! smells like your sister! and the other guy is not there

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Wow, thats warming to the core Nero, you are really sweet when you want to, I was having a lot more than second thoughts, I mean I do not mind the thought of sex with you really and I mean that, but losing who I already consider my best friend would just be sad. So uh, sex once huh? I mean, one more feather on the uh, hat thing, is that what this is about to you?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what's yellow, dirty, and looks like a potato? a potato

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Why does it matter, they can't chuck wood in the first place.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's brown and slimy? brown slime

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Man: Drink this. Man 2: Ok. (Drinks it) Man; You drank a powerful substance that is 20000 times stronger than hydrochloric acid! Man2: Oh FUCK! Kelvin Yang.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call a man with no legs, and one arm? Whatever his name happens to be.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He than orders some drinks.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do you know when your pizza is ready? When the oven timer goes off, indicating that it is done.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the female lady person say to the baby? Get Some.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why'd I have sex with your mom? I'm your father and I love your mother very much

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Knock Knock. F uck off.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

My name is actually Nero by the way, or Neron, which means black, have you ever played Mortal Kombat? There is a character there Named Erron Black, which is a total pun on that, there is also a character named Boraicho which drinks constantly while Borracho means drunkard in Spanish so yeah, Erron Black is simply an anagram for Nero Black, or rather Neron Black... Anyway, now that we got your brain nice and confused, I can increase the effect with OVER NINE THOUSAND! So your pictures "remastered" on photoshop or something?

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What is worst than a1000 baby's stapled to a tree? 1 baby stapled to 1000 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

being sober in a bar fight

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are red, But ravens are black, Please go to China, and never come back!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He had a heart attack

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Potato potato potato potato potato? Potato potato potato.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why wasnt the chicken able to cross the road? Because it was disabled

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didnt. Why do we have to live in a world where people have to be so concered about why a stupid chicken decides to cross a road. Shouldnt we all be more focused on ways to get a better economy, or maybe end world hunger?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's worse than public speaking? Public masterbation. *Spelled it wrong purposly to bypass the filter*

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What happens when you roll a quarter down the street in Mexico? It rolls for a small period of time but eventually it falls over and stops rolling because quarters aren't able to roll very far on imperfect surfaces.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q:How many pieces of paper can one tree make? A:Trees cannot make paper, people make paper from trees. So the answer is none, a tree can't make any paper whatsoever.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops