What's the difference between an orange and a dead baby? One is a popular citrus fruit commonly grown in Florida, and the other is a horrible tragedy, possibly caused by miscarriage or a serial killer, who was hopefully immediately jailed for his actions.

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What do you call a bird with no wings? Dead

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Why was the woman on video chat? She was videochatting with her husband, he was out of town.

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justin bieber walks into a bar, he is then kicked out because he's under age.

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Ask me if I'm a cucumber. Are you a cucumber? No.

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what do you call a black man in a cop car? a policeman

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Why did the Egg turn Purple Because it didnt turn blue.

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How did the man get arested? For doing something leagle.

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what did the indian boy say to his friend? I wish you were real

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Lets just say I work for some important people, not the feds that is for sure, ill tell you when we meet, not here. As for my condition, lets just say that I am profusely bleeding noseblood now and that is because I forgot to take my medication, and if I had no medicaions at all, I would have begun bleeding out of me ears end eye sockets, and ironically id die from a lot of other shit before bleeding to death, so thats not even the case. Its nothing common, but I bet people could find out about it pretty fast on wikipedia, and as much as I like throwing shit on random people here, I dont like bothering anyone with my problems, in this case, it came kinda sudden and unexpected, and I dont mind sharing my deepest aspects including this with my best friends, of which one of them you clearly are love.

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What's slow and spotted? A cheetah, I lied about the slow part

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Oh my God, my friend just got hit by a truck. Lets go get ice cream

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knock knock who's there who who who and if u say something about an I will punch u in the face u stupid cike!!!!

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Sixty... eight

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Jack and Jill went up the hill. Jill was dehydrated.

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Why were there bones on the moon? The cow diden't make it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To try to go to heaven because his girlfriend Margaret was cooked into chicken sandwhiches, and he had no kids and he didn't want to marry someone else, so he tried to get ran over but no cars hit him so he cooked himself. AND so he became KFC-Style chicken wings. BUUUT since no one ate them, he grabbed them up from heaven and commented on how delicious he was and proceeded to eat more and then exploded, sending him to heaven's heaven. But it was just a dream. And Margaret had to do laundry some more today because he freaking caused a urine tsunami. You're welcome.

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Lol... (wow you made me type lol), "like it is nothing to be ashamed of?" Your eyes are really beautiful, honestly probably the most beautiful eyes I have seen... And no, I am not talking about your bewbs.

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Some really old band covered Dirty Bit. But the cut out the Dirty Bit part so its just the Time of life part

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poems, wanna f***.

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the car? We're going to Dairy Queen.

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Why did the women knock on the door? she needed to do a shit

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Whats happening when you see your TV floating at night? You are probably suffering from some sort of mental disorder which causes spontaneous hallucinations and should seek medical help before the condition worsens.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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