What's better than winning the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Dont be silly, you know that everything is relative, and that relativity is as unlimited as the subconscious mind, give me ten more minutes, and I can hypnotize you in five minutes in order to see life in slow motion yourself for as long as you feel like. Just dont expect your body to adjust like mine, meaning that if you try to run, your brain will use its old habits while your perception is used to the slow ones... In other words, you will end up on the floor or smacking into a wall.

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What did the Black guy, the Asian, and the White guy have in common? they were all brutally murdered.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Shit I'm bleeding.

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Please don't tell anybody about me, or I will be hunted down, taken from my family, and be objected to a life of cruel exploitation.

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Micheal Jackson walks into a bar?

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Three people walk into a bar. Eight people follow them. They all go back to Bob's house, except Anna, Jimmy, and Joe. TImes the amount of people going to Bob's house by four. Thats how many people get arrested at the end of the night. How many people aren't arrested? Do you even know why you read this? Get a life and go to an actual bar, a party and get arrested.

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knock knock whos there? a rapiest get in my van. ok, let me just get my purse

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.....

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Why don't women need watches? Because they have clocks on their cell phones because they have jobs outside of the house and are INDEPENDENT WOMEN! MEN DO NOT DEFINE THEM!

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A scantily dressed woman is standing at an intersection. She is a prostitute.

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whats the easiest way to kill a baby? let it live a long and meaningful life, prolonging the inevitable death of old age.

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Why do Asian Women have small boobs? Because anything under A is unacceptable.

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Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell bad.

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123 Main street

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Jay Z: a guy eats a gluten free pickle flavored cupcake, what happened? Will ferell: no one knows what it means! It's provocative!!

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why don't bears wear shoes? because they have bear feet

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Q. What did the monkey say to his little brother? A. Nothing. Monkeys are physically incapable of speaking, therefore it is impossible for them to communicate using the human language.

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Man: What is the meaning of life? God: Buffalo wings. Lots and lots of buffalo wings.

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Where did the RICH black man go to? His home

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Why dd the little girl drop her ice cream cone? She lost her arms to cancer.

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Rex Ryans foot fetish was honer by Mark Sanchez when he threw the ball at his teammates feet.

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Q:why did the man jump of the house A:he did not I threw a frige at him

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My friend said that onions are the only food that could make you cry. That was before I hit him with a watermelon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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