What did the fish say when it hit the wall? "Dam."

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Why did the girl go to the hospital? Her brother dared her to jump off the second story roof of their house...

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

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What did Tom get for Christmas? Gloves, but Tom had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? NOT TOM

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You can tell I have many friends because I got them to like this.

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Why did the black man win the staring contest? He's good at staring

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What did George Washington say before he crossed the Delaware? "Get in the boat."

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What's long brown and sticky? S**t

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An owl and a squirrel where siting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl then turned to the squirrel and said nothing... cos owls can't talk. The owl then eats the bird because it is a bird of prey

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Are you from Tennessee? Because I can tell by your accent.

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What do you call a baby that fell in lava Dead

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ati jokes are not to be funny. what about u

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why is the room so dark? because the light is not on.

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Did you hear about the new pirate movie? It was rated PG-13.

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What do you get when you put a baby in a blender New Doritos Dip

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What's a Mexican's favorite sport? It depends on the person. To generalize and select one sport to represent the entire race would be stereotyping.

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Sarah went to church one day and went into the confession booth with her pastor. He made sure nobody was in the church, and proceeded to allow her to confess. He didn't molest her. However, when Sarah got home her abusive stepfather beat her to death in an alcoholic rage and shot himself. It was on the news.

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a man walks into a bar. He left after he drank two beers. Someone pulled his pants down and he didnt notice. when he got home he realized his pants were gone. He returned to the bar to search, but it was a metal bar, and he was fairly stupid. please dont laugh

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a man walks into a bar it hurt

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Why did Eve eat the fruit first? Because women are whores.

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how does a chinese chick check if she's pregnant? swallows a rubix cube and if it comes out solved shes pregnant

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm using my hand but thinking of you.

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What's Mary short for? She's got no legs.

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whats black and white and red all over? this joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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