- Anti Joke

Why is it bad to smoke in a public place? Because secondhand smoke may cause lung cancer.

Whats long and red all over? This Cut on my arm, i should get it checked out.

So the word RAPING does not work unless you type it in caps? Raping... Did it censor? No? Never mind then... Wow, catchphra Never mind... Its a sign X-files theme.... Teleports at your house: Hah bitch never you ugly, or not ugly enough... Urgh, nevermind, I mean some ugly chicks know their stuff but you know... Anyway NeroMetal The sociopath not the fucking Cultist piece of shit that use my morals as a code system? YOU THINK WE THE SAME? EEEEEEH! Me raping you says we are not... And ill find you ;) Or your sister or your mom, I mean h0m0? You think im a pervert or something?

How do you get rid of herpes? You shoot up the cancer ward of a hospital.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Someone else's.

Your mom is so fat, when she sat on a lump of coal she didn't realize she sat on a lump of coal.

Why did little Katie fall off her bike? Because the postman killed the bee hive.

What is the same about fries chicken and watermelon? There both delicious.

What blew the baby's mind? Daddy's knuckles.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

well, I'm dying of AIDS, so....

roses are red violets are blue kiss my ass you god damb goe..

What does a homeless man get for Christmas? A gun to kill himself with

An Antihumorous Story Part One A rich man named Richard told his son James that he could have anything in the world for his thirteenth birthday. James only asked for one thing: a silver box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. So Richard gave him a metal box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. Five years later, Richard heard a strange noise coming from James' room. It was the sound of a machine whirring, then a high pitched scream. All of a sudden, James bursted out of his room and ran out of the house. Later, the boy could not recall the incident. It was completely erased from his memory. For his eighteenth birthday, James asked for a golden box containing 785 pink ping balls. So it was granted him. For the next ten years, Richard kept a careful eye on his son. Every night, James could be heard whispering madly, "It's almost ready," over and over. For his twenty-eighth birthday, James asked for a simple wooden box that had one million pink ping pong balls inside. "What do you need all those pink ping pong balls for?" Richard finally asked. James froze, fiddling with something in the pocket of his jacket. "Oh yes, that. They were necessary for--" Then he got hit by a bus.

John Katzenbach were drinking a soda... He is the author of The Psicoanalist

Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it.

What is black but also yellow? A song.

Why did the leaf fall of the tree? Because it was fall

An rich man walks into a ghetto and buys something for 1 million dollars. what store was he in? he wasn't in a store,he got robbed

Brother: Where is my Guitar? Me: To the Left to The left Brother : No its not Me: Everything you own in the box to the to the left Brother : Im telling Mom Me: In the Closet Thats my stuff and if i bought please don't touch Brother: Opens Closet This is all Mine! Me: Takes off headphones? Huh? Brother: Nevermind - _ -

Q:If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is here to hear it, will it make a noise A:That Philosopher probably had a lot of herbal tea in the morning

Whats brown and slippery? A brown slipper.

Why did the addict choke himself with a trash bag? His family couldn't afford a funeral and it was the quickest way to disappear.

A black woman was filling out forms at the welfare office. Under "Number of children," she wrote "10," and where it said "List names of children," she wrote "Leroy." When she handed in the form, the woman behind the desk pointed out: "Now here where it says "List names of children," you're supposed to write the names of each one of your children." "Dey all named Leroy," said the black woman. "That's very unusual. When you call them, how do they know which one you want?" asked the welfare worker. The Black woman said, "Oh, den I uses the middle names."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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