A man walks into a bar and asks for 6 vodka shots. The bartender looks at him in a strange manner. The man quickly downs all 6 of the vodka shots. The bartender looks at the man and says "Jeepers mate, whats the celebration?" The man replies "Well mate, first blow job today" The bartender in a kind gesture says "Here you go mate, next one is one me" while pouring another shot. The man respectfully replies, "No thanks mate, if 6 didn't get the taste away, im sure 7 won't"

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 murdered 4 and 5 then raped 10

Guy- Wanna hear a joke about my dick? Nah, it's too long. Girl- Wanna hear a joke about my vagina? Nah, you'll never get it.

Connor "Rusty" McLeod

Why was Steve hungry? Because the last time he ate was yesterday.

NEVER

Why did John fall off his bike? Because, he is a fish and fish cannot ride bikes.

How do you give a women more freedom? Shoot her in the face with a shotgun.

What do you call a man with no arms and legs in the ocean? Dead.

knock knock who's there GET IN THE VAN!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because this chicken had a mental disability and saw on the news that there was a hospital on the other side of the road that could treat his illness and possibly save his life, allowing him to fulfill his life-long dream of retirement. But knowing that chickens do not possess the brain power capable of understanding the situation that this chicken was in, it had probably gotten lost and just wandered off.

What do you call a mexican with a driveable lawnmower? Rather wealthy.. He must have a secure job to pay for a home with a lawn, and a lawnmower.

A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

Women's rights

Ron Paul for President!

Knock. Knock. Who's there? lettuce lettuce who? Lett-uce be friends

CHAD'S A FAG!!!

knock knock who's there? to to who? to whom*

How long can penguins hold their breath underwater? Long enough for you to eat a baby and then cover for it.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it's drivers license had been revoked for all of it's DWI's.

women's rights

A horse walks in a bar. The barman asks: "Why the long face?" The horse replies: I have aids.

What did the Ocean say to the Sky? Nothing, it just waved.

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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