What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should? Fly halfway across the world when the environment turns hostile.

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Why was the teenage girl crying? She wasn't, she was just experimenting with her emotions.

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea. A: Tsunami victims.

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why did the boy fly away because his mum shot him out of a cannon

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Why did the aeroplane engine fallon the house? Because of Donnie Darko

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whaT DID HEVEN SAY TO THE FRIDGE hAVE YOU GOT A COLD

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why couldn't the girl sit down? she didn't have a butt.

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Q: What is so funny about a dog chasing his tail? A: The dog cannot figue out that it his own tail, and every time he moves so does the tail. Therefore never reaching a satisfying end for the mentaly chalanged mutt.

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Moral: Sure, your number is the one that ends with 853 right? Do not reply if I am right. Moral2: BECAUSE TOP COMMENT... AND SERIOUSLY, THAT NUMBER BETTER END WITH 69 AFTER I CALL YOU! DO NOT REPLY

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What`s red and smells like blue paint? A sunburned baby drinking green paint.

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What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

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What happened when the roof fell on a young boy? Nothing. He was an orphan.

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Q: What do you get when you mix root beer with a cloud? A: Nothing, you idiot.

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Q. What does the kool aid man say when he breaks into a wall A. Ow

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Roses are red Violets are red Daisies are red Tulips are red Magnolias are red Weeds are red Carnations are red Crap, my gardens on fire.

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Why is it easy to steal candy from a baby? Because the baby is smaller, weaker and would not pose any threat.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Charles. Charles who? It's your brother Charles. I came straight here from the doctor. I was just diagnosed with stage 4 testicular cancer.

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Two arabs fly into a bar in the twin towers

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Why does Gandalf have special powers? Because Dumbledore died.

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"what did the priest say to the rabbi?" "what" "my religions better

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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what starts with b and ends with b? The bomb i just planted in your house.

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what do u call a black persons face? a black persons face...

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The WNBA

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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