How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It's an obscure number you've probably never heard of.

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Two business men, a priest and three boys are on a plane which is going down. There are only three parachutes. One business man says that they should allow the children to have the parachutes as they have long lives ahead of them. The other business man says screw the children. The priest looks up at the second business man. After a short but heated argument they all agree to let the children have the parachutes. The three children then proceed to jump out of the plane with the parachutes. The two business men and the priest watch as they descend upon the earth. The plane then crashes into a mountain, killing the business men and the priest. Once the boys were safely on land they went back to their daily lives in their individual homes. Turns out a serial killer had escaped from prison, all three children were found dead the next morning, the cause of death of course being that each had contracted some form of a sexually transmitted disease from the priest.

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What's worse than getting stabbed? Getting stabbed twice. What's worse than getting stabbed twice? Getting stabbed three times. What's worse than gettin..... Why does it matter?!?!?! U should be dead by then!

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What's the difference between Jews, Muslims & Christians? Religious beliefs.

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knock knock. who's there? whoer whoer who? whoer you?

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what's the difference between you and a yack one is a spitting idiot and the other one is a camel

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"And i look to myself what the hell happened to our world..."

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Want to hear a joke You're Adopted

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What do you call an awesome school? St Heinrich's Law School (Teaching you to break the laws!)

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what did the boy say to the over weight girl your fat

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Man: Hey honey! you look mighty fine today! Want to go play some lax? Woman: I'd love to! Thanks babe! Man: Just kidding you are a woman.

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why did the monkey buy a shoe? to put em on!!!!

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how do you get a dog to stop barking? you hit it with a stick.

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Q: Why didn't i save my work? A: Because i didn't do any work?

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Why did the dog chase the cat. Cause he was fking hungry

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What is a good remedy for the common cold? A piping hot bowl of chicken-noodle soup.

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Why was the man arrested? He assaulted and raped an elderly woman at the local Walmart. He then proceeded to hijack the poor woman's Scooter and lead police on a 4 mile long car chase.

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Why do Mexicans always have heart burn? Because the food is spicy.

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Impossible, non-living organisms are incapable of moving and babies lack the brain capacity to understand how to screw in a light bulb.

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Why did jack smell smoke in his neighborhood? His house burnt to the ground.

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Whats faster than a mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

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Why are black people afraid of chainsaws. Because they have razor sharp edges and can slice through flesh very easily, posing a potential threat if possessed by a violent person.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by a truck

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So, im new at this site and i was wondering how do you make an anti joke?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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