A mother had three kids: 1st kid- “Mom, why did you name me Daisy?” Mom- “Because when you were a baby a daisy fell on your head.” 2nd kid- “Mommy, why did you name me Rose?” Mom- “Because when you were a baby a rose fell on your head.” 3rd kid- “Blahblahblahflismdjsk” *makes retarded noises* Mom- “SHUT UP BRICK!”

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Chuck Norris can fly around the world in under 2 days. In an airplane.

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what's worse than being attacked by a giant ant? being attacked by two giant ants

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Why didn't Susie's dad come home on time? He was dragged into a dark alley, then stabbed in the eye. When his body was found 2 days later, Susie couldnt stand the loss and hung herself the day after her father was found.

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How many squirrels does it take to screw out a light bulb? None because squirrels lack the strength and mind set to screw out a light bulb.

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4 gay men walked into a bar. it was a gay bar. all 4 men had a good time

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roses are red, violets are blue, niggers are black and so is my poo

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An irishman walks out of a pub

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Even better if I am not here in an hour, lets make it two huh?, I was thinking about you, sleep is well, not something I prioritize well enough at all, probably why I am so adrenaline crazy.

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Why does Charlie Sheen do cocaine? Because his father was a poor role model and he's an unstable celebrity.

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dylan wishes life was like cod. that way he would actually be able to do something cool

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what did the deaf man say to his long-lost paraplegic brother? He did audibly make noise as deafness from birth meant that the capacity to form words through sound was much reduced, and instead simply gestured a greeting of loving familiarity.

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When Chuck Norris realized that there was a more superior being than himself. What did he say? Suck it Safka

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Is a tomato a vegetable? Depends if it is comatose.

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A buddhist,islamist and a prohibitionist walk into a bar.

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Wanna hear a bathroom joke? YOU TRYIN' TO KILL US?!?

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Hey Lamar, guess what. No Oh ok haha Otarts was here

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What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot

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What's the difference between a duck?

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How did the carpenter do on his exam? Poorly so his parents killed him.

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So this guy walks into a bar. He is promptly rushed to the hospital due to the risk of brain damage, concussion, or other serious head injury.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Tulips are red. My garden is on fire.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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