How do you get a clown off a swing? Get a giant scorpion to rape him.

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sit on your hand until it goes numb and then touch yourself.

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Whats green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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what was postman pat's name before he was a postman? Pat.

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A deer looks at the ground and sees something strange. He wonders what it could be. A rabbit comes along and thinks the same. A badger promptly arrives after the rabbit and thinks the exact same. 4 seconds later they all get hit by a train.

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Who made it down the cliff first the blonde or brunet? The brunet, the blonde had to stop for directions

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What do you call a guy with no arms and legs buried 6 feet under the ground? Doug What do you call a guy with no arms and legs buried 3 feet under the ground? Douglas

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What does a sailboad and a walrus have in common? Nothing.

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? She didn't have arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzy.

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Q: Why does the blonde have the biggest tits in the third grade? A: Because she's 21

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Women's rights

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No soap, radio!

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Robert: wanna hear a joke? Robort:ok, shoot. Robert: *BANG!*

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Why should you never attempt to rob Chuck Norris? Because he will beat you up as he knows self defense.

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Dave: Knock, knock Steven: Come in.

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Q: What do you call a grammatically incorrect horse? A: An horse

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Q : WHAT DID THE SMALL SHEEP SAY TO THE BIG SHEEP ? Z : BÆÆÆ

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How did the black man burn down the house. He threw a flaming match through the window.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Poop. Poop who? HAHAHAHAHAHA you said poopoo

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What's the difference between a Jew and a bar of soap? You don't rub your balls with a Jew.

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Why did the seagull fly over the sea, It had wings.

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whats funny about this joke? nothing.

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A guy named M.C. walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "wheres the food?" The bartender says, " its in your stomach."

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what do you do when your girlfriend gives you head while playing MW3? continue to play while politely asking her sister to make you a sandwhich

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops