Your mom is so fat, she has sleep apnea.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's green and fuzzy and has legs that would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down +62

What's worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in two dumpsters

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many Babies can be drowned in a toliet at once? idk the bathtub is much more convienient

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did Sally fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Sally with prosthetic arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

a retard walks into a bar a bruise appeared on his head

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Not lying Red, I have my contacts, I am a "facilitator", I pull strings for my employers, and sure the FBI has me on their files, after all we have cooperated with them. Not because I wanted to, but because its my job, and it helps me use the best of my abilities and limited education (I am technically an educated lawyer, and not an agent).

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock Knock Whos there? Opportunity

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is a 6.9? A period getting in the way of a good time!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

IT SOUNDS SO WROOONG! Actually I was thinking more about when I go short sentences, you go short, then I decide to put in like 500 lines in a single comment and then you do. Besides I call it caps! And no, I do not want you to be like me, there was already another me, it was a complete bitch killing him, I mean if I did not know a lot worse, I would say his chances at kicking my ass where equal. By the way, that "you you seducer" totally sounded like something Donald Duck would say, I dig Donald, so I guess I am into cartoons.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Friend: "yo momma is so fat........ Me: My mom is dead

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Robert: wanna hear a joke? Robort:ok, shoot. Robert: *BANG!*

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what sucks? things that suck

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between a bagpipe and an onion? No one cries when you cut up a bagpipe. Posted by: BerserkSpoon

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A racist man walks into an all black church. He has no problem with the people there as he is a black man who hates caucasion people.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats worse then any minority? The fact they still exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

there are three dudes one is white, one is mexican, one is black so a wizard says wish of something you want to be and jump off the roof. so the white guy wishes to be and eagle and jumps off and is an eagle the mexican wishes to be an owl and jumps off an becomes an owl then the black guy wishes he had to shit and jumps off and falls to the ground cause he turns into shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is one plus one? I don't want to do math.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Is that a banana in your pocket? As a matter of fact, yes it is.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why was timmy no longer being bullied at school? The rope said it all! Bitch Died HA

thumb_up thumb_down

What's worse than hell? I would say the Holocaust, but they're both the same for the Jews.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why are there so many black men in the NBA? Because they trained hard and practiced regularly to get there..

thumb_up thumb_down -13

When I exited the hospital one day, I spotted a sign saying "Come back soon!" Soon afterwards I saw people protesting to ban dihydrogen monoxide. The next day on tv I saw an ad for a solar powered lightbulb. Then I saw a Gun control poster. I cried, this being the dumbest thing I had seen yet, and the world was certainly doomed due to humanity's general stupidity. I saw a chicken crossing a packed road. Why did the chicken feel the urge to cross the road?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Welcome to Horsehead! 1. Our servers are derpy right now, do yourself a favor and never come back, oh yes they are gonna be derpy right then too! 2. THIS IS MY WORLD PEOPLE MYYYYY WOOOOOOOORLD!... ...Ps: My world sucks. 3. Antijokes 30000 per day, other stuff, Zero. (30000 by me) 4. You: People better like me because I dont like myself. Me: I like myself FUCK PEOPLE! FUCK YOU! (thats me on horsehead) welcome to die! 5. IRIS... IRIS! WHAT AM I TYPING FOOOOOOOOOOOOR!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops