my computer teacher just left the room. teehee JLR

thumb_up thumb_down +12

-What did the snake say to the mouse? Nothing. Animals can't talk dumbass.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's worse than dropping your ice cream? Being Killed

thumb_up thumb_down -12

He I just met you, and this is crazy, but you sister just died here's her baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Potato.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A black guy, a white guy and a Pakistani are walking together when they see a lamp, They rub the lamp and out pops a Genie who, with only three wishes to grant, lets them have one wish each. The Pakistani wishes that all people of Pakistani origin are returned to their country with health and wealth. The black guy thinks this is a good idea and asks for the same for all Africans and Caribbean's. The white guy says "are there really no more Pakistani's or blacks in the country?" The Genie confirms this is accurate. The white guy is devastated, who will drive the buses, operate the power stations, produce the medicines and work in the hospitals that these people did? I wish for them to be returned.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What did the teacher tell the failing student? You will most likely be kicked out of our school and have no further education and be subjected to a low-level career.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A man walks into a park and presents candy to children. They request more candy and thus are laureded into his van. They are raped murdered and never seen again.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Friends are like potatoes, If you eat them, they will die.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

When life gives you lemons you can't make lemonade! Life is not a person, place, or thing that is able to physically hand you something! But, you can go to your local grocery store and buy some lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down -134

how do you make a blond girl cry? kill her family

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A blond walked into a bar. A guy picker her up and then they had sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods They both have beards... EXCEPT FOR TIGER WOODS.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

what does a jew want most for hanukkah? presents

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Noses are red, pilots are blue I am dyxslexic boo who

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red, Violets are blue At least that's what I've been told But honestly I've never seen those flowers so I wouldn't know.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do a baker and gynecologist have in common? They can smell it, but they can't eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Throw a brick at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's orange and is a loyalist in the orange order? Caoimhin McCann?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

- What's green and invisible? *holds out empty hand* - This cabbage

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Chuck Norris was once engaged by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Violets are blue, Roses are red, I like to mix up my poems.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did the man say when he was having sex with his wife? Nothing. It turns out it wasn't his wife, he was cheating on her with his mistress, the woman he was having sex with now, thus destroying their marriage.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops