How do you stop a baby alien from crying? Watch what its mother does to soothe it and then try and copy that.

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how long does it take a black woman to shit? 3 to 5 minutes depending on the food she ingested earlier that day

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roses are red violets are blue maskrosor are gula

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An old jewish man, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

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What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? An Irish wedding is the celabration of two people joining in matrimony, and an Irish funeral is a somber rememberence of a deceased person.

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What's more fun than nailing a baby to a wall? Pulling it off.

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hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

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what did John do to make the cold weather a little less irritating? well, being a homeless man, John did..... nothing.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in an oven.

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Why does Ray Charles always smile? Because he doesn't know he's black.

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women

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Your dad got tired while running, so he stopped running.

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why are black people so good at basketball? because they understand the fundamentals, work hard at becoming better, and have fun playing the game/

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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Q: What do you brush your teeth with, sit on and sleep in? A: A toothbrush, a chair and a bed

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What's the difference between a vegetable and my son? Nothing

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A man walked into a bar and asked if he could use the toilet The bartender told him that it was for paying customers only The man walked up to the bartender, ordered a drink and then proceeded to go to the toilet He came back feeling refreshed, finished his drink and said his goodbyes

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speacking of cheese... steve jobs died

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What did the wizard say to the man? Wizards aren't real. Thus not able to speak.

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What did the boy get from his grandmother on Christmas. Nothing she died on Thanksgiving.

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I was gonna make a joke about a my dick... Racecar

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Every zoo is a petting zoo if you're not a pussy

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what is one black person on the moon? Anser: a problem What is all the black peaple on the moon...... a solution.

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A cheerio gets a job at McDonalds and after working for a while, he gets employee of the month and goes to the district ball. While there, he meets a female(frosted) cheerio whom he asks out. She refuses because she only dates frosted cheerios. So, the male goes back to work for the next year, and his boss is happy with his work, so he asks him if he would like anything. The cheerio says yes, i want to be frosted. The boss says ok, i'll make you frosted, so now that he's frosted, he goes back to the ball. He asks the same female cheerio out, she says yes this time. He then asks her if she wants something to drink, she says yes. She wants some milk. So the guy stands in line for about 15 minutes, when he gets to the front, there is no more milk left. So he asks her if she would like some tea. she says yes. So he goes and stands in line for another 15 minutes only to find out there is no more tea. So then he asks her if she would like some punch, shesays yes. So after an hour of searching, he finds out there is no punchline......

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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