The world blows up and everyone except for one man and his house make it out alive "Knock knock" "Whos there?" "Me" "Me who?" "Ummmm, its me, duh" It turns out the man was very bored and decided to go knock on his own door and tell knock knock jokes

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What dd the man say to his wife? Make me a samich!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you get an elephant in the fridge in three moves open the door, put it in, close the door How do you put an giraffe in the fridge in four moves open the door, take out the elephant, put the giraffe in, and close the door

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the man drink the milk? Because he was a baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the rich white student to the poor arabian teacher? good morning Mr.Stevenson.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did Electra give her Dad for his birthday? Head. That's why her name is Electra.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

whats black, white, and red all over? your mum

thumb_up thumb_down -6

The only silverware Frank Lampard will be lifting this year is his mums urn.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

whats sad about three black men driving off a cliff in a cadillac? a cadillac seats five.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man walks into a bar. It resulted in a concussion and 17 stitches.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

what do a pizza and a jew have in common? they both burn in an oven

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Yo mamas so fat that she slowly had developed obstructive sleep apnea syndrome and had died due to an obstruction of her upper airway while she was sleeping.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Well, as you know, I have alzheimers and... ... ... ... ... ... Well, as you know, I have alzheimers.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why was the lemon wearing a blue shirt? Because its red shirt was dirty.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q:What's funny about a Jew marrying a Nazi? A:The situation

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock, Knock Who's there? Knock, Knock Knock, Knock who? Knock, Knock

thumb_up thumb_down -26

what did the lamp say to the woman Nothing, a lamp is a plastic glass and metal inaminate object therfore it can not speak

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a blonde at the beach? A dipthong.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock eater.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's the different between a blond and a brunette? Blondes taste better when cut into small pieces and fried in a skillet.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Nothing. Blackberries grow on bushes and I do not condone hate crimes.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops