What did the man say to his wife before they went to bed? Goodnight.

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far away from its shoulders.

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Why did the man die when he hugged the pillow? He was hallucinating at the grand canyon.

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how do you get a black guy out of a tree? fried chicken.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I wouldn't consider Mark a chicken. In fact, given the high speed and volume of cars traversing that particular road in both directions, I'd say it was a ballsy move. In hindsight, though, he probably should have waited for the "walk" symbol to appear for pedestrians, in order to avoid being run over by a bus. Anyway, if Pastor John would like to say a few words before we finally put Mark's body to rest...

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Roses are Black. Violets are Green. im going to go cut myself now

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You want to hear a joke? Republican

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes And now so do you

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What did the scientist have to say about religion when he was asked by a local reporter? He said that it is a cultural system that creates powerful and long-lasting meaning, by establishing symbols that relate humanity to truths and values.

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Two muffins were in the oven...They were taken out after about 40 minutes, and then enjoyed by all.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was being taken to the slaughter house

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Why are black people like trees? Because they fall down if you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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Q.What Did the Little Kid Say To Cancer In The Hospital? A.Nothing. He Died From Cancer 3 Minutes Ago.

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what did the toe say to the other toe? nothing they cant speak

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What do you get when you cross Justin Bieber and One Direction? A bunch of gay pop stars.

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fuck you you punkass piece of shit I hope you burn in my uncle's titties and ass rape yourself while screaming "make it stop!'. Then, I hope that you take a titanic needle and shove it up your lower kidney until it tears open and all your bodily fluids spill out into an ocean of shit. Also, I have 73 balls with a ballsack for each ball. So, I have 73 ballsacks.

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Rivals? Someone from the past? Erron, who is "WE"! Tell me now!

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why did the man crash a plane into the twin towers? he was a clumsy terrorist going for the sears tower

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Why did the bartender tell the black man to "Get Out"? It was 4 a.m and the bar closed at 3:30 a.m an honest mistake by the man.

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What has feathers, and is known to fly? A bird

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? Jews are people

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I used to tell people: step on my foot on purpose and ill FUCKlNG BREAK YOURS! Then I Evolved.. friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: Thumb me down or step on my foot if only on mistake, and I will break off both your legs and ram them up your ASS!

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How many baby's does it take to paint a wall Depends on how hard you throw them

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your mom is so ugly when she entered an ugly contest they said... ok

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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