Manchester City

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the same wolf that had devoured the chickens' chicks singlehandedly was chasing it.

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Knock knock. "Who's there?" I am deaf. "I am deaf who?" What?

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Little Jimmy has 100 candy bars, and he eats 95 of them. What dies little Jimmy have? Diabetes

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Q: If Jack Bauer is partially gay, then what are you? A: His sidekick -Ryan Vallee

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What's more funny than 10 dead babies in the bottom of a trash can? 1 dead baby in the bottom of 10 trash cans...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to see its chicks that got run over by a car.

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Why couldn't the emo kid finish reading his book? Because he was on the titanic when it sank.

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What did the fish say when it swam into the concrete wall? Nothing. Fish cannot speak

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, racist.

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Roses are red, violets are blue and the sun is very hot

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When life gives you lemons, squeeze them in someone's eyes.

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Why cant Helen Keller drive a bus? Cuz she's dead!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Whats worse than getting mugged? Getting mugged twice.

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Why did the man go to the restaurant? Because he wanted to get some food.

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What's better than a nice hot shower on a cold, rainy day? Osama bin Laden rotting away at the bottom of the ocean.

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A little girl was curious about where people come from so she asked a very controversial question. Girl goes up to her mother and ask "Mommy, where do babies come from?" Mother replies "Ask daddy." Girl says "Daddy, where do babies come from?" Father replies "Ask the dog." Girl then goes up to her dog and says "Doggy, where do babies come from?" The dog doesn't reply because it's a dog.

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How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb? Any number of chickens plus one person.

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Why did Sally drown? She wasn't wearing a life jacket and it was the the seventh time she had fallen off her water skis today. Her father was not coming back this time.

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What's the difference between a mexican and a bench A bench can support a family

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a child and his father were on a bike ride the child tried to cross a street but was run over by a truck. His father now lives homeless and griefs his dead son.

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What do you get when you mix monster, coke, and and seltzer? Kicked out of stop and shop.

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What's black and can't swim? A black shirt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops