how do you make a baby float? you take your foot off its head

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What has two legs? Half a cat

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Whats worse than a suicide bomber? Hubcaps

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Why are leprechauns so happy? The grass tickles their balls

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A man and a prostitute walk into a bar. they have a few drinks then proceed to a hotel room where the man has sexual intercourse with the woman in exchange for money. The man then leaves while the woman stays in the hotel room and cries cause she hadn't achieved any of her dreams or life ambitions.

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What did the college student say after he failed his test? He didn't say anything, he was a mute.

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What's after 9/11? 9/12

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"Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, I have Alzheimer's. "Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, I have Alzheimer's. "Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, I have Alzheimer's.

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Yo Dawg, I heard You Like Kittens and Volcanoes... So, I threw Your Kitten In A Volcano.

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Why are the British so uptight? I don't think they are.

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Why would you call a child douche bag? Cause they're sterile

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Ron Paul for President!

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What did the Priest say to the Rabbi? Nothing. The Priest was mute and the Rabbi was deaf.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was wandering because he was lost and got hit by a car in the process.

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How many cavemen does it take to change a lightbulb? A caveman wouldn't know what to do with a lightbulb.

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Whats do Hispanics and Blacks have in common? They are both stereo-typically defined and thus the subject of many popular jokes.

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Why was the Muslim crying? Because his brother got hit by a bus.

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If life though you lemons, through skittles at them and say tast the freakin rainbow.

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Why did the girl fall off her bike? Someone threw a piano at her.

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How old am I? If you guessed correctly, you are psychic. If you guessed incorrectly, I will send flying gnomes to capture and torture you. Unless, of course, you are of a racial minority in which case nothing will happen to you because I am not racist. :P

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Do you know whats funny? No do you know i was asking a question

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If I give you 5 dollars, and you give me 5 dollars, then we both still have 5 dollars, which when combined will equal 10 dollars. Meaning we could buy something that cost's 10 dollars or less. But we should probably also factor in tax, so we should only buys something that costs a little over 9 dollars.

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25

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baby loves lalma

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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