Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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Two gay men enjoy a wonderful second date together.

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What did suzie do when she dropped her cookie? She died because it was secretly a bomb

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What did the homless man get for Christmas? Nothing

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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How do you kill a vampire? Because vampires are figments of society's imagination and actuall living creatures, this task is impossible.

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what did chloe say to alexis? you took my phone

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What's good about having alzheimers? You meet new people every day!

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Why was the young Jewish boy afraid at camp? Because his scoutmaster is a pedophile.

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What did the mentally retarded man say to the Waiter who brought him his soup? Thanks for bringing me my soup.

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Why is it impossible to travel faster than the speed of light? Because it travels pretty darn fast.

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Wanna hear a bathroom joke? YOU TRYIN' TO KILL US?!?

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A man agreed with a camel. The camel didn't agree. ... (This joke does only make sense in the Dutch language.)

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apple pie.

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Yo momma so fat, when she walks she wakes the dead -Ryan Vallee

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you're so stupid, you have trouble understanding what you read, like the newspaper, for example

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Why did Michael Jackson ask a Best Buy clerk for the best 3D TV? He didn't ... He's dead.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Daisies are red, OH SHIT! MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!!!

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sadf

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Why was Ray Charles always smiling? He was Happy

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I couldn't afford haircuts so I purposely contracted cancer.

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Roses are grey Violettes are grey I am colour blind And I suck at rhymes

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Why did Sally fall off the swings? She has no arms. Knock knock Whose there? Not Sally, she has no arms

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There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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