I was gonna clean my room. But then my mom did it.

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Whats the best part about having sex with 25 year olds? There 20 of them.

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Knock knock

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My Texting Convos: "Heyy!" "Hi!" "Watz up?" "nm hbu?" "Same here!" "Koolio!(: So wrud?" "Nothing. Just texting you!" "Yea! Same! I'm so bored! And tired!" "Ikr!" "Yupp!" *No one answers. When this is what you really want: "I love you soooo much!" "Awwwwh!<3 I loe you too!" "Do you wanna go out?(;" "YES!!(:" "ily<3" "iyl2<3" *convo goes on forever(: Moral: Purple tomatoes are books of yellow buttons on hands(;

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society

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Once upon a time, You have a nice rack...

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What do you call a black man in a suit and tie? Presumably affluent

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A squirrel and an owl are sitting in a tree. A farmers walks by underneath, and the squirrel turns to the owl and says nothing, because squirrels can't talk and neither can owls. Then the owl eats the squirrel because it is a bird of prey.

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Whay lawrence pearson ir r8 gay

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What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A Drumset.

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If you watch a pregnancy backwards, it is about a baby that is inserted between the legs of a woman and is slowly broken down for energy and the remains are finally sucked up by a man's genitals. There isn't a joke.

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(you will only get this if you play minecraft) whats green and looks like a penis? a creeper!

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once there was a man named steve. he happily sniffs pot every day after work. especially on sundays. one day, his family finds him sniffing pot. they are disgusted and disappointed in his bad decisions. so they join him

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Why is it a shame if a kid gets run over by a car? I like the newspaper headlines about stabbings better.

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Q: Suzy loves apples she will o anything to get her hands on an apple. A: You guys are so gullible!!! She DID eat Tom's apple. ...... then he killed her.

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What disease did Harry Styles get? 1Infection! (if you don't know, Harry Styles is 1direction's manager)

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What is yellow outside, black inside, and makes you laugh when it falls? A school bus full of black people falling from a clif

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How do you get a one armed Polish man out of a tree? With a ladder, he needs help.

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What is worse than failing a class? Dress up for grown-ups.

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A catholic priest gets a nun pregnant. He drowns the baby several months later.

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Yo momma so fat when god said let there be let he said get the fuck out the way!

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Two muffins are in an oven. They turn out delicious.

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Why was Brother Jim so loyal to god? Because he had a harpoon through his anal cavity.

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Whyd the girl fall of her bike? She rode over a curb

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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