The Game

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whats worse than being cold? having a pine cone shoved up your ass.

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I like cheese. You like cheese. Have a nice day.

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Knock knock. Knock knock. Knock knock. I'm hammering nails. Knock knock.

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whats worse than a baby impaled on your lawn... the universe being consumed by a giant albino ape with over sized testicles

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Why was Rosa Parks forced to sit on the back of the bus? All the other seats were taken....

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A Jehovah's Witness knocks on my door. I didn't answer the door.

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A man from China is learning English and when confronted by a cop accidentally answers each question with one of the few words he knows, impugning himself in the process. The cop, not being a sociopath, realizes that the chuckling foreigner probably has no idea what he has just done and hands him a dictionary to help him cope with the drastic change.

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Ben: do you want to hear a joke. jack: yh go on then, i bet its funny. Ben: Your future.

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Why did the coconut fall out of the tree? Gravity.

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Every 20 seconds, a child in africa starves to death... Every 30 seconds, an obese american teen stuffs their face with McDonalds

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Why didn't Hellen Keller scream when she fell off a cliff? She was wearing Mittens

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A Finn, a Swede and A Norwegian went to an island. The Norwegian shot them all.

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What's white and moves at a glacial pace? A glacier.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in an oven.

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why did the zebra cross the road?

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Why are all black people fast? because all the slow ones are in jail.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Cause it looks like you landed on your face.

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A bear woke up from his annual hibernation to find that his stomach is growling. "I sure am hungry." the sleepy bear said. So he found some berries, but spit them out. "These berries are far too bitter." the playful bear said. He then found some honey, however was soon bombarded with a swarm of bees. "That honey is good, but not that good." the jolly bear said. He then stumbled upon a cabin. "I wonder if there is any food in here..." the curteous bear wondered. The events that followed are now reffered to by the locals as the May 20th Massacre. While no witnesses survived, the police reports depict that the Martinez family, a young family of 7 enjoying their memorial day weekend in their New Hampshire cabin, was brutally slain by a blood-thirsty animal who tracked each of them throughout the house in a period of approximately 45 minutes.

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What do you call an 8 foot anxious priest painted purple named harold? Harold.

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Why the kid fall of his bike? He got hit by a fridge.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Knock Knock. Whos there? I am the danger! Danger who? I AM THE ONE WHO KNOCKS!

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What smells like bananas but is invisible? Monkey farts

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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