A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Knock knock. Who's there? James. James who? You know, from across the road? But where's the punchline? This isn't a joke. Isn't it? No. Can you still add a punchline? OPEN THE DOOR!

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So my friend told me to go shot myself I got my Canon and shoot myself The image came out very clean and profession.

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i like serious. serious means business. business means cash. cash means money. money makes me happy and when i'm happy you dont die

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What is the different between going to church and reading a newspaper? You can take your shoes off when you read a newspaper.

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There's a god, just kidding.

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Q. What is brown and sticky? A. Creosote.

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How do you know a black person is in your house? You see him in your house.

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A man and his wife go out to dinner, after dinner they return home safely and the man kisses his wife good night. He then leaves his house, and goes to a bar with another women. He is a polygamast and it is socially acceptable in his town.

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How many cats get hit by a car per day How ever many cats you can find

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why was the kid sad? his fish died. he had to flush it down the toilet.

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There once was an old lady who lived in a shoe. She had so many children, her vagina fell off.

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Blonde Girl: Why is this green-painted man throwing forks at me?! Green-Painted Man: It is confusing you, no?

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Why did the boy fail the test? He had down syndrome.

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Q: why did sally fall off the swing A: she had no arms A:knock knock Q:who is there A:not sally

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What's the difference between Vagisil and Black People? They are disgusting!

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What do u call 30000 Mexicans rolling Dow a hill. Hahaha your mom

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Your friend is so gay that he came out of the closet and was accepted warmly by his friends and family for who he is a human being.

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There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. He woke with a fright in the middle of the night and realized that his house was being robbed.

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How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

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Why did the penis rape the vagina, because it felt good!

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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why did the titanic sink, it was hit by a iceberg

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Then help me understand Nero, people had the free and legal right to decide to be a part of our, or your society if you prefer, where has that option gone now? Where is the people that choose to believe in their own potential and in the one of their equals? Today we live in a society where its basically pop culture to dislike oneself, where it is considered narcissism to like oneself, and you know that we have both been affected, while those we considered allies before, have joined the same people that branded us evil.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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