What did the homeless guy say to the not-homeless guy? I'm homeless.

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a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

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whats white and if it fell from a tree it would kill you ? Pat Butcher

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XD I TOTALLY CANT BELIEVE I FELL FOR THAT ONE! XD IT WAS LIKE SO OBVIOUS! XD

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in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

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Forget about them, do not compare yourself to those beneath you, you always wanted to help as many as possible, in a world where everyone fights for themselves only.

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Why can't Dave drive? Because Dave is an orange.

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's a free drink, you'll wake up in my basement.

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What do you call a black guy who works at McDonald's? A worker, you racist piece of shit!

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What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings.

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If you have 5 bucks and Chuck Norris has 5 buck you both have 5 bucks

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roses red violets blue my name chad i stupid

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why did the rooster cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was depressed for a long time and decided to end his life by getting hit by a car.

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what did the hungry Ukrainian man say to his mother? "? ????? ???????? ?????????? ? ????. ?? ? ??????? ? ??????"

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whats the same about a turtle and another turtle? they both seem to like lettuce

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Why did the TV not turn off? You need to use a remote.

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How can you tell if a woman is a man? If she has a penis

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Why do dragons shoot fire? I don't know, I'm asking you the question.

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what do you do if you see a black man covered in hot greece on the floor of the bus shelter? call an ambulance...

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Why did the Catholic priest get excommunicated from the church? He couldn't read.

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Q: What do the French call a quarter pounder with cheese? A: Le Royale with cheese

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Why don't you ever want to greet your friend Jack on the plane? Because your wife cheated on you with him and she is having his baby, if you were to even think about talking to Jack, you'd end up slitting his throat and throwing him off the side of the plane into a crocodile pit where they will make a feast of his body for the next couple days... So just don't greet Jack

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Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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