Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack because of her poor eating habits.

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A: Knock Knock (waits for an answer) oh there's no one in.

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Whats big, grey, and cant climb trees? A carpark

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Why did Elmo get depressed? All his friends sacrifised themselves to satan

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What's worse than your dad dying in a car crash? Your mom being in the same car.

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why did the man throw his clock out of he window? he was mentally insane.

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How do you stop a vehicle moving at high speeds? Apply the brakes in a reasonable fashion.

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whats funnier than anti jokes nothing

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What's both fun and a scam? -The holocaust

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Knock knock. Who's there? James. James who? You know, from across the road? But where's the punchline? This isn't a joke. Isn't it? No. Can you still add a punchline? OPEN THE DOOR!

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So my friend told me to go shot myself I got my Canon and shoot myself The image came out very clean and profession.

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i like serious. serious means business. business means cash. cash means money. money makes me happy and when i'm happy you dont die

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What is the different between going to church and reading a newspaper? You can take your shoes off when you read a newspaper.

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There's a god, just kidding.

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Q. What is brown and sticky? A. Creosote.

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How do you know a black person is in your house? You see him in your house.

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A man and his wife go out to dinner, after dinner they return home safely and the man kisses his wife good night. He then leaves his house, and goes to a bar with another women. He is a polygamast and it is socially acceptable in his town.

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How many cats get hit by a car per day How ever many cats you can find

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why was the kid sad? his fish died. he had to flush it down the toilet.

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There once was an old lady who lived in a shoe. She had so many children, her vagina fell off.

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Blonde Girl: Why is this green-painted man throwing forks at me?! Green-Painted Man: It is confusing you, no?

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Why did the boy fail the test? He had down syndrome.

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Q: why did sally fall off the swing A: she had no arms A:knock knock Q:who is there A:not sally

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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