A boat sinks in the ocean, what does the sailor do? Nothing, he wasn't on the boat.

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An Irishman walked into a bar, except he would call it a pub, because there are slight differences in vocabulary in different regions, 37 minutes later he walked home safely, fed his cat, read some pages of a book he had been reading, turned the light off and went to bed.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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Two white people walk into a bar what do they say? "hi"

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Knock Knock Who's there? The FBI. We need to check your house for dead bodies.

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What did the quarter say to the dime? nothing.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck would? Probably a lot of wood.

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What's the difference between a duck, an engineer, and a leaf? There are many differences between these 3 that I will not list them all.

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*Wear a Mario costume* What happened to Luigi? I ate him.

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Why did the teacher give the little boy a golden star? He was a Jew and it was in Germany during the 1940's

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1 + 1 = ? 2 "No" "what have you been smoking?" "Seriously, 1+1= window" "WTF???"

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How many cats would it take to change a lightbulb? Cats can't change lightbulbs

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The Americans have just spent millions of dollars working on a pen that works in space. I would of just used a pencil.

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- Mommy look, I built a sandcastle! - Who cares, you have cancer.

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Why doesn't Santa deliver gifts anymore? Because Santa died of a heart attack.

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What do you call a Mentally Challenged Black Man? Whatever Name his parent(s) Gave him at birth.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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homosexual rights to marriage

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How do you kill a innocent young boy walking from school? I don't know but do you want to enjoy a refreshing beverage of creaming soda?

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why wont me daughter eat my feces

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what do you call a black lawyer? a very well educated black man

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A Hispanic, a Caucasian, and an African American walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this, some kind of a joke?"

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UP

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Q: What is your favorite color? M: Blue

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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