How do you get the pesky neighborhood kids off your front lawn? Molest them.

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What are you going to get your mom for mothers day? I have two gay dads.

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Your mother's breasts sag so low that the late great impressionist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Q: What does a psychic have in common with a stone? A: The bible decrees that psychics are witches and should be stoned and something topical about the stone.

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iff god whas funny why thit he let your mother be raped and your sister murdered en iff satan whos a ice cream will he taste sweet ?

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How Long is a Chinese man.

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What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

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david give me my money back... i will have it next week

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Being a chicken, it had no concept of roads or their dangers and was simply trying to find some feed.

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Why was the thirteen year old raped by an online predator? Because he made very poor choices on giving out his personal information.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have to go to the bathroom...

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Whats the difference between the Taliban and a Football Team? I'm not on the football team.

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why was the boy crying? ... because he had a frog stapled yo his face.

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what did the fart say to the butt........bye

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An Asian man and an Irish man are standing at the bus stop, chatting casually, while waiting for the bus to arrive. The Irish man then turns to the Asian and says, "Despite our blatant differences in both race and culture, perhaps someday when we are both available, we can meet and talk civilly about our everyday lives over a cup of coffee."

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Getting raped by a hose

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What is the most dangerous place to be right now? Rodney Kings pool.

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How Do Bulls Drive Cars? They cant, they have hooves making it impractical for a Bull to Drive a car.

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A. why'd the chicken cross the road? B.a dog got hit by a bus.

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What's tiny and smells like a big banana? A tiny banana

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What do you have when you take the gun, badge and uniform away from a cop? A man in his underwear.

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What's grey got white stripes and can't climb trees? Car park.

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If Chuck Norris were to roundhouse you. Then something previously happened before the altercation, that caused tension.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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