Q: What is long and hard? A: The gun used to kill my parents.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, most likely, the chicken escaped from a near by ranch or farm. Upon escaping, he may have simply wandered in the direction of the road, and hence crossed it. Or, with chickens having great curiosity, may have been attracted to something on the other side of the road and felt the urge to explore. Depending on the demographics of the area in which road was in, the chicken had different chances of being hit by an automobile. That's why.

What do Micheal Jackson and Niel Armstrong have in common? Armstrong did the earthwalk on the moon and Jackson F#$%ed little boys in the butt.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: How should I know?

What happened when the princess kissed the frog? She died, the frog was highly toxic.

How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dyslexic men? 25

why did matt daly shit his pants? he had downs

An Irishman walks into a bar and orders a Coke.

Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin turned to the other and said, "Boy, its getting hot in here." The other muffin said, "WE ARE GOING TO DIE IN HERE AND NO ONE WILL HERE US SCREAM."

Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

Dear diary, its day 230, the apple supply's are running low, the doctors are closing in, the dentists have been chanting "its time to go to the dentist" all day, I wont be able to hold them back much longer, help.

A horse walk into the bar, the bar tender asked, why the long face the horse unable to understand English takes a shit and walk away.

Did you hear about the black guy who got into college? Actually, there are nearly 10,00 African Americans who get accepted into college every year. This specific black male is notable because of his stellar grades and his activity in his community.

Roses Are Blue Violets Are Purple Black is Purple Im colorblind

What do you call a former pope. Dead!

German sausage is the wurst

What's green and has wheels? Grass...I was just lying about the wheels.

the awkward moment when Rick Astley gives you up

Q) Why is there no aspirin in the jungle? A) Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest A) Real Joke : Because the parrots-eat-em-all

person 1-As me if I'm purple... person 2- Are you purple? person 1- no

PEN15 IF U R SMART U WILL UNDERSTAND THIS

Why couldn't Carys answer the phone? - She had an ear infection.

John - hey do you have tickets to see Oasis? Sam - No I bought green day tickets intead John then proceeds to violently masturbate. Sam at first feels uncomfortable, then shits all over John and joins in.

What is worse than falling down the stairs? Having leukemia.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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