Roses are red, You're a failed abortion, Happy Valentines Day. :D

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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So a magician was driving down the road and then he turned into a driveway!

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"Knock Knock" "Come in"

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why do elephants eat peanuts? so they can save the wrappers for valuable prizes

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What does a ghost get when he watches pornography? A boner

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Whats better than 7 babies tied to 1 tree 1 baby tied to 7 trees

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What did one pole say to the other pole? We are both from poland

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Why did the chicken cross the road ? To get to the other side Why did the lollipop cross the road ? It was stuck to the chicken's head Why did the chicken commit suicide ? He couldn't get the lollipop off its head

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Why did the goat cross the road. To put his sacrifices into the pentagram.

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Q: How do Hellen Keller's parents punish her? A: They give her a timeout

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Whats long and hard on a black man..... 2nd grade

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what's brown and sticky? a stick.

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Knock knock Who's there? Adolf Adolf who? Adolf Hitler. Are you a jew?

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? he was epileptic

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A: what did one apple say to the other apple. B: Nothing apples cant talk

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whats the difference between a guitar and a fish? A guitar is an instrument used to produce noise and a fish is a living orgnism native to lakes and oceans

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why do girls like 77? ................ ...................... ................. ...................... ................ becuz they get 8 more :P

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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what is green and red and goes 100 miles per hour? frog in a blender

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What is the difference between a mom and a dad? One is a mom and the other is a dad. Why couldn't Fred see the board? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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How Long is a Chinese man.

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Think of a number between -1 and 1 That's how many friends you have

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A man walks into a bar with a monkey. I forgot the rest but you mom is a whore

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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