Whats worse then walking into a door? getting shot in the head by a 10ft squirrel holding 44.magnum and a slice of cheese in the other

Why did the fat lady poop on my knee? Because i'm thirsty.

A guy walks into a bar and orders 4 shots. The bartender promptly pulls out a gun and shoots him 4 times.

What's red and bad for your teeth A brick

How do you stop birds from building nests in your grill? You turn the grill on

What do you call a white guy pointing a gun at someone? A member of the United States Army.

What do you call a deer with no eye? NO IDEAR!

How do you make a sandwich out of clay? Shape it like a sandwich

Knock knock! Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? To get to the other side!

When someone calls me ugly, I run up and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.

what is similar between a turtle losing its shell, and a man selling his chlothes and house? they are now both naked and homeless

What did the little boy say to his malignant tumour? "Hello" The tumour did not respond.

What Do you call two black guys on a bike? A two person bike

Q-What's the good thing about dating a girl volleyball player? A- She's a Girl

Why did the black man sit at the back of the bus? Because all of the seats were taken by other people of different races. Luckily for the man, there was one empty seat at the back which he was able to sit on to make himself comfortable.

What do you call a puppy with no limbs? It doesn't matter, he's never coming back.

how many dead babys can fit in a bathtub 17

DINOSAUR Street Fighter 4: Masterchief edition LOUND ONE! BAKE! And the final results: Sagat: Heh, you want some... cornflakes? *BOOO! YOU THUG!" Ryu: WHOWANTSSOMEPOUNDCAKE! *Delicious poundcake omg" "Well, at least better than serving a fucking bowl of foocking cornflakes with milk in four goddamn hours!" YOU LOSE! "You must defeat my Poundcake to stand a chance, I am the worlds greatest pillow fighter!" GAME OVER

Why can't Albert Einstein hold down a job? Because he's dead.

How do you make a baby cry? Hit it with a brick.

If a canoe is stuck in a tree with its headlights on, howmany pancakes does it take to cover the roof of my house? False, snakes don't have armpits!

What's the only thing a Black Hole can't absorb? Nothing. It absorbs everything, even light.

PSP its a nut you can play... Outside...

What did the boy do when he struck out in his little league game? He was very upset and contemplated not playing the game anymore.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...