Q: Why are black people so tall? A: Not all black people are tall, and if they are it is probably from their specific genes.

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How many babies does it take to fill a ditch? Six if you pack them in really tight.

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can you touch your toes? no

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Jesse gives his mom the stick for breakfast

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what did the computer say to the tv? computers are not living there for they cannot talk

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? No? Well he graduated in four years with a degree in chemical engineering. He worked hard all four years in order to keep his scholarship to the university. Now he leads a very successful life and lives in a large house with his wife and two children.

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What is invisible and smells like carrots? The smell of Carrots. Pretty sure you can't see smells.

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Why didn't the business man ever wear pants? He didn't have any legs.

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Grandpa loved a good joke, he died laughing. The doctor said it was a severe stroke probably brought on by smoking aggravated by high cholesterol and high blood pressure.

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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Whats the best way to get to a girls heart? A knife.

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how do you kill a blonde? the way you would kill anyone, here are some examples gun knife noose or orange. wait wtf who kills someone with an orange

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What's worse than being killed? Reading these jokes.

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guess what? What? you have to guess...your mama

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Exercise

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Why did the cow have a pain in his stomach. It has testicular cancer.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

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An american, a french and a japanese walk into a bar. They are colleagues from the International University of Florida, used to go out together.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Your mother is so old that her prom theme was fire

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What did the man with five penises say? I have 5 penises.

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Little Jimmy was afraid, and didn't like Santa Claus. So one Christmas Eve, he poured rat poison in Santa's milk. Little Jimmy no longer has parents.

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How did the fat woman survive the car accident? She had on her seat belt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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