This is not funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what is another way to say tree? A big stick with leaves

thumb_up thumb_down -9

one time at band camp there was a guy guess what he played? no one knows

thumb_up thumb_down -13

whats orange and cant talk? an orange

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Patrick, I just thought of something funnier than 24. Lemme hear it. 25.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

When will Abe Vigoda be alive again? Never. There will never again be a time when Abe Vigoda will be alive. For example, Abe Vigoda will be dead for the entirety of the year 2038. He will continue to be dead if we move forward to the year 2091, and even if we keep jumping forward throughout history, stopping in the years 2250, 2871, and 3546, we will not land in an era when Abe Vigoda will be alive. Another way to look at this is to imagine Abe Vigoda had died in earlier years. Let's say he had died in 1902. Would he be alive today? The answer, sadly, is no. We get the same answer if we suppose Abe Vigoda had died in 1822, 1715, or ~ 85,200,000 BPE. To sum up, it is not precisely accurate to say that Abe Vigoda will be dead for a very long time. That implies a limit on the amount of time he will be dead. There is no limit.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A Duck, a Mexican guy and Helen Keller walk into a bar. The bartender asks "What do each of you want?" The duck doesn't respond because is is a duck. The Mexican guy doesn't respond because he doesn't know English that well. Helen Keller does't respond because she is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

who lives in a pinaple under the sea? japanesse people!

thumb_up thumb_down

What makes fat kids laugh? Jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you expect from a perverted demon? -nothing less perverted!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the car stop? There was a fridge in the road

thumb_up thumb_down +135

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

thumb_up thumb_down

what ate all the ants in the hill? an anteater

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: My mom's getting really old and It's starting to get hard to shop for her. Any ideas? A: You should get her a coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

My mind is like full of holes so I cannot remember where I am anymore, and I am tired in addition, but say, what the hell is a tussle? Sounds cute, but what is that?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Who's black, white and Asian at the same time? A panda.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the angry man with tourette syndrome say when he smashed his thumb with a hammer? Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Actually, violets are violet

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's brown, dusty, and full of male? My asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What happens when you tickle a rabid iguana? It bites you and you die.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: How do you get a blonde out of a tree? A: Throw a moneky at her

thumb_up thumb_down

Who makes the sandwiches in a lesbian relationship?

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops