When it comes ro the zodiac my grandmother was a cancer and... She ws killed by... A giant crab

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Roses are red, violets are blue, why am i even talking to you?

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A jewish man walks into a bar, has a drink, and goes home to his wife.

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A guy walks into a bar. The bartneder says, "Wow, buddy, you look awful. What's wrong?" The guy responds, "My life is a joke."

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What's brown and sticky? "A stick?" No, poo.

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Q. What do you call Lebron James on a roller Coster? A. A man who makes a lot of money and decided to take his family out on a family fun day to an amusement park.

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Hi

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What did the walrus say to the Penguin. It said MAHHRGH. because walruses can't really talk

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When life gives you lemons, throw them at pedestrians.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Fire extinguisher? One puts out a fire the other one fuels it.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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Why do women where make-up and perfume? because they are ugly and they smell bad.

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When an intellectual was told by someone, "Your beard is now coming in," he went to the rear entrance and waited for it. Another intellectual asked what he was doing. Once he heard the whole story, he said: "I'm not surprised that people say we lack common sense. How do you know that it's not coming in by the other gate?"

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Why do alcoholics use brown bags? Because they are ashamed of what they have become and seek to repress their guilt by entering into denial.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I really hate poultry related jokes.

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How can you avoid being hit by a car? Don't get in the way.

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Knock knock... Whos there? The IRS, we are taking your house.

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Yo mama's so ugly that the majority of people find her physically unattractive, but I hear her personality if great.

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What did the star say to the asteroid? Nothing, astral bodies can't talk, you dipshit.

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GRAAAAAAAR.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners unfamiliar with the Latin alphabet.

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a horse walks in to a bar and the bar tender asks, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because it is a horse and is confused by its surroundings and then gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables as it makes its escape.

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Why didn't Sarah come to school today? She had a heart attack and died.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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