Why did the boy only have one arm? tigers make terrible pets

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What is 4 letters and made out of wood? Wood.

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If life throws you melons, you should do your best to avoid them. Large and hard objects such as melons can easily harm you if moving at high speeds. Fortunately, life is not a physical entity that can throw melons or anything else - so the chances of this event occurring to you are exceedingly low.

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Why did the man jump into the river? He wanted to go for a swim, but the pool was closed, so he swam in the river.

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How do you make a homeless person cry? cut an onion in front of him.

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Knock knock Who's there Santa who santa hates you and that is why you got nothing for Christmastime

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Why did the woman step away from the kitchen? To pick up her paraplegic son, who had fallen.

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What did the little boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A baseball, bat, and a glove.

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"I have some pretty bad news for you, but to ease into it, I will try to work it into a conversation." -Alright Doctor, let's try that." "Hey, how are you feeling today?" -"I feel great!" "That's odd, because you have leukemia..."

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk.

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why did the T-Rex eat the other dinosaur? Because it is a carnivorous animal.

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My friends are like trampolines I have none

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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Fine, start by proving to me that you can be a reasonable human being, and I will meet you myself, I have too many of those that rely on my guidance and protection in order for me to send myself off to some suicide mission. Say, are you familiar with the Antony Stark method?

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What's worse than a kid being bullied at school? A kid being bullied at school, to go home and be raped by his stepdad.

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A tree fell in the forest. The person in the house it hit heard it.

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What do gay cows eat? Grass.

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Why couldn't Peter climb the tree? Because he's a fish.

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roses are grey violets are grey im color blind

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It just didn't.

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whats worse than not getting what you want for christmas? a child melester

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why was the black man on the bus? cause he needed to get to work

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Oh, well if you want, I would like for you to tell her that I wish her good health, suddenly it sounds like I am speaking with spider man here, so you could balance on the top of a tower like a ninja and stuff?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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