When life gives you limes, say hey! wait a second ,aren't these meant to be lemons? then kill yourself

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GUYS! I GOT AN A IN MY PIANO EXAM!!!!!

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What happens when you put a baby, a dog and a cat in the same bag They will all most likely suffocate if left in the bag too long

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

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So this is an anti-joke website, right?

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Why was bobby late for school? Because he drove off a bridge.

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Why did old Dorris shit herself? Because Margaret fell over.

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Q: what did a kid in harlem get for christmas? A: nothing he got shot

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Q: You know what never gets old? A: The kids in a school shooting

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A man walk to the store and buys some clothes.

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Three mexicans walk into a bathroom they all had to go pee.

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I forgot what i was gonna say

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What's the easiest way to become filthy rich? There are many ways to earn money. Invest some time into researching the topic.

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Why didn't Jacob marry Bella from Twilight? You have to be real to marry someone

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Small breasts.

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A pussy walks into a bar and orders a drink, the bar keeper asks " why are you such a pussy!" The pussy then says, "it's not my fault I'm a cat!" before getting run over

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Knock Knock Who's There? Dave Dave, who? Jerry, just let me in already Two months later, Dave was convicted on charges of home invasion and the murder of Jerry Jones without bail.

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Why didn't the magician pull a rabbit from a hat? Despite his choice of occupation, magic tricks are rarely appropriate in hostage situations.

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What happens when you cut a body in half? An erection.

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What do you call a black Englishmen? Rodger

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A girl and a boy where sitting on a couch together. The boy told the girl politly that she hass gained a significant amount of weight and should lose it. She then pulled out a candy bar in her back pocket and shoved it down his throat, to which he suffocated, because she was on her period when to comment was made.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was a loaf of bread.

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im gay because im gay

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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