What did the Jewish man say when he answered the phone? Hello?

Who gives a shit? Justin Beiber.

Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? A: This question has many different possible answers due to the range of sizes and shapes of bath tubs available on the market, and also depending on the size of the baby in question. It is therefore only possible to give a specific example.

Whats the difference between a blonde and a sloth? Everything. The blonde is a human being and humans are way different than sloths.

what's the difference between 7 and 2? 5

Mmmmmmmmbutch

Johnny walked up to his teacher one day and asked her to explain to him how babies were made. She instead whispered back to him, "Let me show you". He declined, because he wasn't prepared to be a father.

So two cannibals are eating a clown. Cannibal one: Does this taste funny to you? Cannibal two: Considering that this man was a clown he must have been in poverty so he resulted to being an alcoholic and maybe over dosed on over the counter drugs. Cannibal one: Thank you for that reasonable answer.

What's red and puts out fires? A fire truck? Oh, you've heard this joke before.

knock knock who's there the german police now pack your stuff and get out

Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

what is the opposite of 2x +3x?

What begins with "F" and ends in "uck"? There are multiple words or words that begin with "F" and end in "uck." So you dont need me to tell you, be creative.

How do get a cat to like you? Give it lots of love and attention

What do you call a man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk? A man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk.

lyren is a big meanyhead

Today if my birthday, and I got given the Anti Joke Book! Happiness!

destiny

Are those two people having sex? Yes, I think they are.

Why did the car stop. someone threw a cow at it.

Whats red and black and has 8 legs? 4 dead african babies.

What do you call 10 dead babies in a blender? A horrible, horrible child abuse incident.

Gotta go Fast Gotta go Faster Faster Fasterfasterfaster! Moving at the speed of sound I'm the quickest hedgehog around Got ourselves a situation Start getting a new location Without any explanation On top of relaxation! Go- Go- Go- Don't blink Don't think Just Go go go go G-g-g-g-go go! Sonic, he's on the run Sonic, he's number one Sonic, he's coming next so watch out for Sonic X! Gotta go fast, gotta go faster faster faster fasterfasterfaster Go go go go go go go go go! Sooooniiiiic X!!

Q: What is better than Vagina? A: Nothing

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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