Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daffodils are yellow, Flowers come in lots of colours...

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's brown and sticky? Human Feces

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the girl call suicide hotline? Cuz he wanted to kill herself.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was the man like a chimp? Because they are 96% genetically identical.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A man walks into a bar with a giant banana as a head and the bartender asks why he has a giant banana as a head and the man says get me a drink and i will explain, the bartender got the man a drink and he started to explain why, so i found this real nice golden lamp and i rubbed it next thing you know this genie pops out and he said i get three wishes the first one he wishes for unlimited wealth with a snap of the genies fingers the wish came true next he wished to be the most handsome man ever with a spin and a snap the wish came true but this is where it went wrong, I said to the genie and i cant believe he got me with this one (because genies always put a twist on things) i said: i wish for my head to be a banana

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A black man walks Into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down

What is worse than getting shot in the leg? Getting shot in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

a. why? b. because I wanted

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What would you do if you're eyes just suddently exploded? You would never see again.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's sad about a pile of dead people? They didn't have life insurance.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Whats sad about 6 mexicans driving off a cliff in an escalade? An escalade sits 7 people.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the man throw the clock out the window? The man's loving family had recently been murdered, and the clock was a constant reminder of their mortality, as it had served as the center of those horrific events.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's similar between a flamingo and a rhino? They're both pink...except the rhino

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the Chicken cross the road? Actually it couldn't even walk because of all the hormones they injected into it in order to genetically enhance it's size and flavor.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call a puppy with all it's legs missing? Franklin, the quadraplegic puppy.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than having AIDS? A piano falling on your left middle finger.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What is white, wet, sticky, and gets squished out? Glue obviously, wait.... What were you thinking of?

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other: "Hey are you worried about this Mad Cow Disease?? the other cow says "Nah, not at all mate...!" "Why Not?" says the cow "Because I'm a CHICKEN!"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

'Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.' Thats fantastic for Peter Piper

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was shot In the face. Why did the cow fall out of the tree it was stapled to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats Orange,Leathery gets passed around by sweaty dudes and the next name will start with an S Snooki

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are blue Violets are polka dot I suck at rhyming Pandas

thumb_up thumb_down -17

what do you get when you cross do you get when you cross a banana and a monkey? one happy monkey

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse than being hit with a falling brick? Being hit with many falling bricks. -ilikecrepes97

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops