Roses are Red Violets are Blue Violets are not blue They are Violet

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Life gives you lemons you make lemonade. What do you do when life gives you melons... youre skrewed.

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Have you heard of the mute man that kept telling people he could not talk? Its funny because its true.

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A zebra dies and goes to animal heaven. All the animals around him are trotting, flying, jumping, each according to its own species, in the kind of bliss that only eternity can bring. But the zebra is not impressed and mopes through heaven's green fields. A giraffe notices his languid stupor and asks, "Why so glum, pal?" The zebra mournfully replies, "All my life I've wondered if I was black with white stripes or white with black stripes." The giraffe, hoping to get the zebra to some answers as quickly as possible, suggests, "Why not go as God?" The zebra, somewhat taken aback by the notion that God might give him an audience, replies, "Oh, I can do that?" The giraffe says, "Sure, I'll show you the way!" The giraffe leads the zebra to a great tabernacle of gold and points the way up a long stairway of diamond. The zebra follows the stairs up to two great ivory doors. But no matter what he tried, the zebra couldn't get the door open. The only animals that could open the door for him would be the primates because of their opposable digits, but the zebra wasn't much of a social animal, so he didn't have any friends. He spent eternity with no answer to his question.

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Why did the moose cross the road? Migration.

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I find Holocaust jokes hilarious, Anne Frankly I know a few...

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Two Mexicans walk into a bar, The bartender says your hired.

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Whats smells like a banana and is purple? A banana, I lied about the purple thing.

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How are a chicken and a grape similar? They're both round. Except the chicken.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? You set her on fire.

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How do you know when someone tells a bad joke? You don't find it humorous.

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whats the point of anti jokes? A: the point that it is no point

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a man checks his mypsace

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What did the person say to the person about to run into the tree? Watch out for that tree!

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When life throws knives at you, run away.

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Your mom is so fat her daily calorie intake is dangerously above the recommended 2000 per day.

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Q: What's a Mexican's favorite sport? A: Cross Country

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A brunette, redhead, and blond were on a road trip. Their car broke down in the middle of the desert. The redhead offered to get help down the road, but never returned. The blond and brunette walked the direction the redhead went, but died four days later of heat exhaustion.

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69

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I Stumbled this site and then read some antijokes, then I wrote a antijoke but I couldn't write a antijoke because their Terms of Service were down so then I lied to them saying I've read their Terms of Serivce and then I lied again, told them I were human, argued by saying "barnote plate" to them. They accepted.

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I like my coffee like I like my women Without a penis

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What's worse than finding a fly in your drink? Gonorrhea.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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What's the worlds best ice cream? Well overall I opinion is that because but I believe down to the but don't forget to mention that chocolate ice cream plays a huge however to flip the argument moreover I find it absurd that on the plus side four sides to tell the truth I wouldn't know to summarize the argument whereas to differ I would my final point is that Chocolate Ice cream is nice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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