Dubstep < Music

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Bob has 80 chocolate bars, he gives 5 to his uncle,10 to his mother and 8 to his freind. He then eats 40 chocolate bars. Q. How many chocolate bars has bob got left now? A. Bob has no chocolate bars left. Shortly after Bob ate 40 bars he was diagnosed with diabetes. He then died of a heart attack due to high cholesterol.

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An old friend of mine had an idea. "Socks, but for your hands." I laughed until the day I heard he died of chaffed penis.

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i ate and i ate and i was sick on the floor 8x8=64

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What is Cleopatra's favorite cookie? A: Chips Ahoy

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How do you know when it is a Mexican's birthday? They are walking around with "happy birthday" balloons.

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You thought i'd be telling you a joke. Turns out im not.. !! haha

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Two penguins, sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap!" The other says, "What do you think I am?! A clock?"

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A dad says to his son "you better stop masturbating or youll go blind'. And the son says "dad im over here".

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Why doesn't a ducks quack echo? Actually, it does, but the echo is imperceptible to human ears.

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What's more absurd than a goldfish astronaut? A jew that cares about palestinians

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Why was the man weird... Stevie Wonder

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What do you call a flat-chested woman with a penis? A man.

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Obama One Big Ass Mistake America

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What's better than finding a $5.00 bill on the floor? Finding the person who actually owns it.

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What walks on the three legs? Martin, he was born with a tragic birth defect and struggles to make a living.

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Several of our "name brothers" have been attacked threatened and questioned almost every night since when we last talked on the phone, it turns out that these people are not after me. But after you, they have no idea that I retired years ago, and while their information is limited, you got yourself someone that is selling information on the deep web intentionally, as far as we know he might be selling you out piece by piece, and as of this point, you might be in dire danger.

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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Ring Around The rosy, Pockets full of posey, Just kidding they are roofies and i'm going to rape you

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An Afronaut

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Why did the cat have hair? Because he did.

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A man is walking on the beach, he trips on a mystical lamp and dusts i off a little. turns out that it was just a lamp, he droped it back on the sand and was arrested for littering.

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Who were the fastest readers of all time? The victims of 9/11. They went through over 87 stories in less than 2 1/2 minutes.

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You suck big fat slobber

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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