what did the lamp say to the woman Nothing, a lamp is a plastic glass and metal inaminate object therfore it can not speak

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch

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Why did the stranger sexually assault the woman? --Because he was a sexual predator..

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What happened to the power lifter that tried to deadlift 920 lbs while wearing nothing but his briefs? he succeeded because he is trained power lifter.

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whats better than 69? doing it with jarads mum!!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a girl who was knocked off a swing by a fridge.

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The Piglodocus has been featured in films such as "Jurassic Pork" and "Land before Swine".

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What's the fastest animal on earth? An Ethiopian chicken.

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ANTONI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Fetus Blood. Due to the low concentration of iron, it gives it an aroma of paint.

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What's worse than a spilled ice cream cone? 2 spilled ice cream cones. What's worse than 2 spilled ice cream cones? 3 spilled ice cream cones. What's worse than 3 spilled I've cream cones? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? 4 spilled ice cream cones.

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Me: Hey mom Mom: Hey Son Me: Whats? for dinner? Mom: I dont know

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Why don't Black people Dream? Because the last one that did got shot.

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Knock Knock Who's there??? Your mom

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What did batman say to robin to get in the car? Get in the car.

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2 boys are going to get candy from the store. What happened? A robbery and they were killed

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, " I forgot to store nuts for winter and now I am dead." Its funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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Your mother is so fat, when she dives into a pool, the on duty life guard blows his whistle to get her attention. He then proceeds to tell her about the dangers of diving into a pool with the depth of 5ft or less and asks her not to continue her antics. She is not pleased but decides it is best to follow the rules.

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Do you know what Chuck Norris does for a living? He's an actor, I also heard he's quite good with martial arts.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Why did he? NO I LOST THE CHICKEN Later: Knock knock Who's there The chicken

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Q: Why did the Asian fail his driving test? A: Lack of concentration on the road and low knowledge of functioning a car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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