What did the Fish say to the other Fish? Nothing, fish cant talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How do you confuse a gay person? How? 7

thumb_up thumb_down +5

if u read this u r bent A. Now your bent

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: yugdyijgdripgdghd A: sorry I'm retarted. I don't know wtf I'm doin

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Who smokes a lot of weed and speaks 5 different languages? Rosetta Stoner.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Ted Haggard.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call an asian plumber? A plumber.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What would be the consequence of a terrorist detonating a 500 kT nuclear bomb in Manhattan? A ridiculous question. All enriched uranium in Pakistan is safe and out of reach of terrorists, their govt. has assured. Please ask about realistic scenarios next time.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Who are the faster readers? New Yorkers, they through 110 stories in 5 seconds

thumb_up thumb_down +12

You dork, seriously, the comment where I mentioned that I am married is like 60000 comments PAGES behind. What? Now you ashamed of losing your, I mean I can say that I am your first right? That I am going to stick my MANFLESH into your CHERRY AND POP IT RIGHT? JUST TRYING TO BE SUBTLE HERE! Seriously though, Your name is really Tifa? And you look a FUCKING HELL A LOT Like Tifa From Final Fantasy... You know, except she has gigantic feet and no lips and you know...

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Mom: what does IDK, LY, and TTYL mean? Son: I don't know, love you, and talk to you later. Mom: OK, I'll ask your sister.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Don't think of granny porn

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock, knock Who's there? The electrician And about bloody time too, you'd better come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What does your girlfriend eat every morning that is white, warm and sticky? Oatmeal

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do you call a muslim behind the controls of an airliner? A pilot you rascist.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the sheriff call the death of a black man who was shot 14 times? -The worst case of suicide he'd ever seen.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How many policemen does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they just beat up the room for being black

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he got shot in the face. Why couldn't the boy get back on the swing? He had no arms. Why didnt his mum come and save him? She is blind, deaf and in a wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of African decent to sit in towards the front of the bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of European decent.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did Suzy cross the road? She didn't she got hit by a bus. Knock, knock! Who's there? Not Suzy!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I took my father out last night. We went to the Olive Garden.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops