Sometimes I sit in the bath and pretend im a bubble

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bees knees

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Q: Why was the little girl upset? A: Because she drank a window cleanser, causing her vital organs to shut down, ending in a slow, painful, death.

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What happens when a plane with 2500 people on board crashes? There were only 165 seats.

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What do you call a person with no eyes, ears, or mouth? Helen Keller

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Why did the boy get stuck on the toilet? He was Elvis.

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What kind of cheese is not you cheese? Not your cheese.

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Two girls were taken away mysteriously in the night. The next day, no one cared because they were orphans.

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What is the difference between a ginger and a pile of bricks? nothing. nothing at all.

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What do you get when you cross a confused man and an anti-social woman? I don't know, go away.

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"Sticks and stones" the man said and shat on three different complex turtles

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Nyan cat had pancakes for breakfast.

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Your dad is so bald, that a various number of people compliment him on how well shaven his head is.

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Knock, Knock Open the fucking Door

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Why did the fly get off the toilet? It got pissed off.

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In the beginning God created the heavens and the Earth. He then created the water, the sky, land, sea creatures, land creatures and humans. He rested.

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Chicken

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Q. Why was little Timmy crying? A. Because his sister died of cancer.

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have you ever tried Ethiopian food? neither have they

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Q.What Did the Little Kid Say To Cancer In The Hospital? A.Nothing. He Died From Cancer 3 Minutes Ago.

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Next Q: What's worse than a bee sting? A: Two bee stings. Q: What's worse than two bee stings? A: Three bee stings. Q: What's worse than three bee stings? A: Sexual assault.

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Whats the difference between a corvette and a pile of dead babies? One is a specific type of sports car, and the other is a sad destruction of many young lives

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It's not gay until eyes meet or tips touch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops