Its Eliza, hope you are still there, would you mind getting here sooner? This site is not safe, besides its cold here, I mean send somebody else if you got to, I might look frail but Nero taught me a thing or two, so I can honestly say that Nero taught me better than you guys just in case. Funny you say there is no code, yet add three, yeah you better expect nothing "fancy", Mr.Torture dungeon master. Honestly though I do not blame you, and if I really meant you where a psycho, I would not have agreed/asked you showed up, I am serious I need to get out of here.

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Being a demigod and slaying monsters isn't normal, but on myth it is. MYTH: Not even once.

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Justin

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Three blokes walk into a bar. I'm british.

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A priest and rabbi walk into a bar. The priest leaves because they don't have wine.

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Friend: "Hey man! Did you hear about the kid who bought the last hamster at the pet shop? Other friend: "No..." Friend: "Oh, well he shot himself last night."

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What did the man say to his son? Hello, son.

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There is a bird and a squirrel in a tree. Later, as a farmer walked past, the squirrel ate the bird.

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What do you call three mexicans in a bowl of soup? Whatever their respective names might happen to be.

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there are two muffins in an oven one muffin says "whoa, its hot in here!" the other says nothing, because it is a muffin, and the other muffin, in reality, said nothing either.

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If you eat a brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundae, your tastebuds will likely turn purple and move to France, where people don't eat brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundaes.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Me.

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Chuck Norris doesn't swim... He never learned

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A Holocaust joke? I did Nazi that coming...Anne, Frankly, I'm quite offended.

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Who could be happier than a kid at a candyshop? A necrophiliac in a morgue

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i am predestal

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A husband said to his wife, "If you want to have sex, stroke my penis one time. If you don't want to have sex, just say so and I will respect your decision, though I may be disappointed."

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Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: my red painted d*ck

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Q: How many cantaloupes can you fit into Jackie Chan's basement? A: 4

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a boy with asperges asked me a question today he asked me again and again because he has asperges

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-Have you ever seen an elephant hidden behind a thread? -No. -How come you're seeing it, he's hidden.

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Officer i'm dot nrunk, beriously you gotta selieve me!

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What did the gay man say to the other gay man? Hey, we're both gay, let's have sex!

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Why didn't the 13 year old Black boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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