What's worse then the holocaust? Sphagetti trousers of mordor

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A horse walks into a bar. He politely holds the door for a young woman.

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why did the plane crash because it was 9-11

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why did the man get arrested? because he was a thief, and thieving is completely unacceptable in a civilised society

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A woman who owns a parrot leaves her home, forgetting that a plumber is scheduled to come fix her sink. A few minutes after she leaves, the plumber arrives and knocks on the door. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replies, "It's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink." The plumber waits for a minute and, seeing that nobody has come to the door, knocks again. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replies, a little more loudly, "It's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink!" The plumber waits for a minute and bangs hard on the door. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber screams, "IT'S...THE...PLUMBER!!! I'VE...COME...TO...FIX...THE...SIIIIIINK!!!" Just then, the plumber clutches his chest and falls dead to the ground. When the woman returns home, she sees the dead man in front of her door. She opens her door to go to her phone and asks the parrot, "who is it?" The parrot replies, "WHO IS IT?"

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How did the hot blonde get a promotion from her boss? She worked really hard and achieved more thaan her coworkers.

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What is the difference between a rock and a pencil? Your Mom.

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why was the woman afraid of her bestfriend he raped her

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What did John name his dog? Doggy

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Q: what is the difference between a baby stroller and a black man. A: I don't try and hit black men when they cross the street.

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Once upon a time there was a nice old man who loved to ride his bike... He unfortunately died when he had a heart attack.

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Q:What's black, wrinkled and smells like raisins? A: A raisin.

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If a plane crashes on the boarder of Canada and The U.S.A- Where would they burry the survivors.

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Yo mama so fat she doesn't need news, shes worldwide. ~YN~

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Q: What's black, blue, and dead? A: My wife after our fight last night.

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what did the white man say to the mexican man when the mexican stepped in poop? you have poop on your toe

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A cat walks into a bar and says.......Meow

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A Jew walks into a furnace.. The bartender says "What'll you have?" The Jew wonders why there is a bartender in this furnace, then they die.

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I dunno, I dont grade love, I want to see you, touch you, bang you (sorry for not having the guts to use a nicer word, but I am tired and that is what I have in me now) And while that makes me sound like some hippy, I am very fucking picky about who I spend time with, and when. And I got no male friends, waste of time, why spend time with guys when I can spend time with chicks. Excuse me, just need my meds, speaking of sincerity, yeah I use medications, wont tell you what, but its well, not for my "mental disorders" I was born crazy, and I am going to die like I live: INSANE.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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Roses are red Violets are fin I'll be the 6 You be the 9

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How do you make Yoda sad? Kill all of his friends.

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What did the astronaunt say to the doctor? Hola!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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