When is the best time to eat? When you feel like it.

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17

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Today, my friend threw a lemon at me very hard and hit me in the testicles. FML

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anne hatthaway

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Want to hear what's totally out of this world? Not wasting a whole page of space for something that doesn't even vaguely resemble a joke. [L]

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What is the difference between a black man and a pepperoni pizza? One can actually feed a family of 4.

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okay so theres this guy.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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LeBron James: Kobe, i got a ring will you stop making fun of me? Kobe Bryant: Yes Kobe and Michael Jordan: LeBron asked if he gets a ring if we'll stop making fun of him LeBron James: Hey Kobe why didn't you answer when i called? Kobe Bryant: Sorry, I only heard it ring once

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why did the chicken cross the road? to try and stop the rapist from sodomizing his young child but his atempts were futile as the rapist shot him and used his blood as lubricant when he skull-raped his dying wife

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one day a hippy and a nun wer on a bus, the hippy asks, Will you have sex with me? the none replies, heck no im a nun. the nun gets off the bus and the hippy follows. the bus driver stops him and says, i know how you can have sex with her, she goes to the cemitary at 9:00 every night, dress us as jesus and command her to have sex with you. okay thanks! the hippy says. that night the hippy dress's up as jesus finds the nun and says " i am jesus and i command you to have sex with me. The nun says okay but only A n a l because im a nun! and they get to it, when there done the hippy takes off his mask and says haha im the hippy, the nun takes off her mask and says haha im the bus driver!! like if you get it :)

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Roses are green Violets are yellow Those are the wrong colors oh well who gives a shit.

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how many babies dose it take to paint a fence it depends on how hard you throw them

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Knock Knock! .... Knock Knock! ... There seems to be nobody at home...

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A: What is faster than a speeding bullet? B: Light

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what's worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it~? lots of things.

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Q: How do you solve a problem like Maria. A: You kill her. You kill Maria.

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wots brown and smells like shite shite

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What did the deaf girl get for Christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish

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what did the mushroom say to the other mushroom? nothing, mushrooms can't talk

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What happened to the girl who got an infection from an abortion? She died.

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Who livs in a pineaple under the sea? Lots of mold and bacteria

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Many of people would like to know this question. We have not invented a mind reading device and chickens can't communicate with humans. So no one knows

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Q: Why did the Asian man get fired from his job? A: He sexually assaulted his co-workers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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