I AM SOFA KING WE TOD HEAD - AV

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What's green and has wheels? A chinese race car driver.

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Why couldn't Timmy ride his bike? He didn't have a bike, his family was very poor and did have much money. Therefore a bike for Timmy was the last of their concerns.

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What happened to your face It got hit by a bus By cheyenne

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Why did the monkey fall of the tree? Because Newtons law states that we are all under the influence of gravity and hence an object, in this case the monkey, will fall down if it failed to stay on the tree.

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A: I slept in your mums bed last night. B: don't care dad

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C'est l'histoire d'un français paumé qui se retrouve sur un site anglais.

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What did the bat say to the human? Nothing because bats make too high of frequency noises for humans to understand

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The duck says do you smell poop. Ya says the chicken, it wasn't me It was the turkey

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

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A young man walks into a bar. A complicated chain of events leads to him marrying the owner's second cousin's half-niece-in-law.

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How many electricians does it take to screw on a light bulb? 1

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14

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Did you hear about the dyslexic that choked on his own vimto?

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Girl, why are you crying? I'm not a girl, I'm a strawberry.

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If i had a dollar for every time Lindsay Lohan Crashed a vehicle......i would be rich

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie!

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An elephant walks in to a dry cleaners and asks the Chinese man behind the counter for the price of cleaning two shirts. The man replies, "$3.00."

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Two men walk in to a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H20" The second man says "I'll have some H20, too." They both received glasses of water.

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Thank you, you remind me that I am not insane, just because I believe we humans can accomplish more, by uniting as one, rather than fighting one another. I feel as if I belong somewhere else, yet the question remains always, are people such as you better, or are we relics from the past?

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Did you here about the Asian couple who had a stupid baby? They named him Sum Ting Wong

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Roses? are red Violets are blue, Kangaroos like Oranges, Poems suck, Refrigerator.

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Robin, get in the car, please.

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Your mom is so fat the only time she saw 90210 was on a scale.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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