How much cocaine has Charlie Sheen done? enough to put your health at risk

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Knock Knock. Erm, sorry to be weird, but can you perhaps use the doorbell, because it's new and has a novelty chime. I'm proud of it and get a little chuckle everytime it rings in the vain hope that, perhaps you, the visitor, may also find it entertaining. Who's there anyway?'

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What do you call a qoman with 10 kids? A mother with 10 kids

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What's funnier than cancer? Just about anything. There's nothing funny about terminal illnesses.

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Two men walk into a bar The first man says to the bartender: 'Can I have a glass of H2O?' The second man says: 'Can I have a glass of H2O too?' The Bartender gives them both glasses of water because he is not irresponsible to serve hydrogen peroxide in his bar.

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What do you call a black man backfilping off a roof The dark knight

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Yo mama so fat!... we are very concerned for her health.

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Knock knock. Who's there? IRS. Youre being audited, Sir.

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You know what they say about a guy with big feet? He wears large socks and has big shoes.

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A platypus walks into a bar, and was the only mammal in the building capable of laying an egg.

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Why couldn't the fireman get over the hill? Because he was dead.

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Why did the Mexican go to the food marke To get some food.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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What did the golfer do on his vacation? He played golf.

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What do you call a Simon with no arms and legs? Simon

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Why was the clock off? Because it was broken

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Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the other kids at recess? I chopped her legs off.

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a disabled person walked into a bar..oh wait

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A 75 year old man walks into a college classroom and sits down. He suffers from severe dementia and realizes that he's been in the classroom before. A 75 year old man walks into a college classroom...

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What do you call something round and red that tastes like a tomato and shoots through walls? A Super Tomato. And what do you call a banana that shoots through walls? A banana trying to be a Super Tomato.

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What did one homo say to the other? Well, the politically correct term is homosexual, and he didn't say anything because they've never met.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

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How did the Jews get out of Germany? They didn't..

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Q: How do you stop a rhino from charging? A: Shoot it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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