Q: What do you brush your teeth with, sit on and sleep in? A: A toothbrush, a chair and a bed

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How many women does it take to arrange my new Ethan Allen furniture? Just one, I was told it was divorce present. She took it with her.

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If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? Quite obviously, still quizzical, being that tests are just longer, harder quizzes.

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My dog poops u pick it up if i poop ill say f@#% you eat it DumbS%^&

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yo mama is so fat that wii fit puts her in the overweight category

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so i was on anti joke and i read a joke, it made me laugh.

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What's worse than reading the same joke multiple times? Having cancer.

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So one day a man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like to drink. He said he would like a glass of water. The bartender said "why come all the way to a bar just to get some water." The man responded "well its a longer walk to the coffee shop."

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A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walk briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

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A red-head, a brunette, and a blonde are playing hide-and-seek. Hide-and-seek is a fun game, so they probably had a great time.

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What do you call a man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk? A man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk.

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I want to name my dog Syndrome. Then, when I teach him to sit, I can say "Down, Syndrome!"

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A horse walks into a bar, the barman says why the long face, the horse says, my dad died this morning.

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why did the man have a hole in his face? because syphillis had eaten a hole in it

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Hey babies The holocaust called, they want their screams back.

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How many apples come from trees? None, not a single one of em'

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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KEVIN HART

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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yo mama's so fat her stomach mass weighs more than people who dont have as much fat as her.

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there is 500 dicks on the wall how many will choke on? None?? so ur a professional!!!! lol

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Goodbye to the people who hated on me.

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A Jew walks into an expensive Hotel and orders 500 dollars worth of wine.

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Yo momma so fat she decided to have lipo suction

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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