A kid goes to the doctor and orders a salad. The doctor replies, "This is a smoking-free environment". The kid puts out his cigar and goes to Olive Garden to get his physical.

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What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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What is the difference between a black man and a bike? Bikes are not human beings and therefore cannot experience the ups and downs a human being experiences.

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i see trees are green, Roses are red, Violets are blue and i think to myself What a Wonderful World

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Why was the walrus wearing braces? It wasn't, because it his highly unlikely that people would care about a walrus's dental issues. The walrus would most likely cope with his irregular teeth and move on with its life.

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(Pretend you're an orphan.) Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.

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What happened to the boy who cried wolf? He was brutally raped and killed, Inglewood is really not a place you want your children growing up.

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Hi, my name is Jake.

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Why didn't Susan go to school on show-and-tell day? Because she's dead.

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There are 2 men are standing on the roof of a building, one of them jumps off, the other one is named Peter

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roses are red violets are blue count my five damn finger , and the third one is for you!!!!!!!!

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Where would it be hard to find handicapped parking? At the paralympics.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because he was dead.

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What happens when you throw a blue rock into red water? It gets wet...

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A black man and a white man were in a fight. Who won? I don't know. It was pay-per view and I didn't buy it.

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What do you call a group of Mexicans crossing the U.S. border? A travel soccer team.

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Why did the girl blush when she opened the fridge? Because she saw the salad dressing

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Gay jokes arn't funny. "Come" on guys.

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my name is Jacob sartorious

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What did the Doctor say to the patient. You have AIDS The patient took out a machete and stabbed the Doctor. The Doctor died. Two weeks later, the patient died of AIDS.

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why did the man paint his house? because he never wanted to paint his house

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How did the little boy fall off his bycicle? Prior to this incident, a psychopathetic killer murdered his family. Therefore, to escape the killer, the boy got onto his bycicle in hopes of manuvering away from the threat. Since it was nighttime he did not notice the fault in the asphalt.( No ryhme intendid.) From flipping over his handlebars, he fell unconcious. Upon the killer spotting the boy, he sliced his head off and left the scene to not be spotted by police.

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Whats yello and cant swim A bus full of dead children in a lake

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Why did Sally fall off the swings? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not sally

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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