you know somebody is lying when it IS opposite day.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Whats worse then Justin Bieber? It's a trick question, there's is nothing worse than her

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

thumb_up thumb_down +100

Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Sandy hook

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A man decides to commit suicide and jumps from the highest building in New York, he dies instantly on impact... the day was septermber 11th 2001, either way it was the end for the man

thumb_up thumb_down -109

Your Mom

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: Why couldn't the ginger play soul music ? A: He couldn't hit the right notes

thumb_up thumb_down +27

If an old person falls in the middle of the woods do they make a sound? No their died.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you stop a charging rhinocerous? Nuke africa.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

There are two muffins in an oven. The first muffin says, "Is it just me, or is it getting hot in here?". The second one says, "Hey, look! A talkin' muffin!".

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one says "Boy, it sure is hot in here." The second one says "Holly shit! A talking muffin!" As muffins generally don't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's more absurd than a goldfish astronaut? A jew that cares about palestinians

thumb_up thumb_down -31

what did the grandma do after she was pushing up daisies? washed her hands because gardening is a dirty activity

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's worse than finding ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees

thumb_up thumb_down +3

When life gives you oranges, make lemonade.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Who was the first person Steven Hawking runs up to when he finds out something new about science? He is in a wheelchair due to a condition called ASL, therefore he cannot "run"

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: What do you call a black person that flies planes? A: A pilot you racist

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Rose: Mom, why was I named Rose? Mom: Because when you were born a rose petal landed on your head. Rose: Than why is my brother named Brick? Mom: I liked the name.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the boy trip? A small explosion in the center of the earth caused by a hobo created a tsunami, causes a seagull to fly off in alarm. The seagull lands on a Smart Car, causing it to crash, which sends a signal off to a satellite in space. Because of this, a massive earthquake occurs. Oh, and the boy? There was a bowl of soup left carelessly on the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Two hippos are in a lake with water up to their eyes. One of them then says, "i keep thinking it's tueday"

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Depending on whether you have permission to eat it, either stolen property, or a nice snack shared between friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the senile man say to the kids on his lawn? Tree dance the gator thong for my nipples.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops