What do you call a new born baby ? Whatever name you and your partner have agreed upon after months of sifting through baby names.

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a guy walks into a bar. he buys several drinks, ends up drunk, and crashes into a coffee shop with a goat in the backseat.

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What do you call a fat zombie? Dead

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What do you do when a taco eater eats your food? Beat him with the nearest black man's dick.

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that moment when the last few ceral are like "Come on catch me bitch"

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What's the best part of a family reunion? The sodomy.

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What's the difference between Bobby and a plane? Bobby can be sexually molested.

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Why did the girl drop her cookie? She had no arms.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? James. James who? James from work. Oh, come on in.

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Knock knock no answer, as the tenant of the house was out shopping.

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Two Irish men walks out of a bar

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What do you say to a very ambitious dyslexic child? You're ambition is inspiring and I encourage you to follow your dreams. Some of the worlds greatest people, including Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison, and Winston Churchill were dyslexic. Your drive is much bigger than your disorder.

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What's the richest fish in the sea? The one you threw a quarter at.

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how do you refer to a guy with a backwards baseball cap and leather jacket and low riding? by his first name

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Why did the blond fail her Calculus test? She had a Biology test on the same day, and being that she is a bio major she felt it would be to her interest to put more emphasis on the bio test because she is only taking cal as an advanced elective credit, which would not effect her major GPA.

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Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

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Yo momma so stupid, she's stupider than this joke.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Q: How do you make a plumber sad A: you kill his family lolololololololololol

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So, I walked into my friends house and MAH DEDDEHS DECK was outside bruh

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*Knock, Knock* Who's there? George. George who? George Ronald.

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What's worse than finding a hair in your sandwitch? Finding a dead baby in your salad!

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Q: How do you break into your own house? A:You don't....thats ridiculous(:

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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