How do you stop the neighbors from calling the police when you play your music too loud? Kill them and use their bodies as noise insulation

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yo momma's so stupid that she can't support your family, because she can't get a steady job, meaning she does not have money to pay the bills or buy food. This also means you must now get food from your local food bank and sleep on the streets.

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What did the homeless man say to the rich man? Can i have some food?

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whats wosre than stubbing your toe? being lost on a desert island being raped

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What do 9 out of 10 people like? Gang rape.

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Q: What's your dog's name ? A: Dog. Q: What's your cat's name ? A: Cat. Q: What's your dick's name A: Pinky

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Q: Why did the kid drop his icecream cone? A: Because he couldn't hold it he lost his arms in a car accident.

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What did Michael Jackson say to the little boy? Nothing.He's dead.

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What's the difference between a bowl of cereal and a bowl of pudding? A bowl of cereal has milk in it.

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Whats red, green, and goes 60 mph? A frog in a blender.

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You: Mike and Steve were playing chess, who won? Them: Mike You: no, it was steve

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt it hit a poll and died of brain damage the next day

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? This is a psychological question which the egg came from the chicken, but the chicken also came from an egg, so the world may never know exactly.

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Why did the guy to the moo moo cow say? Yesterday, I took a crap at the restaurant and the toilet got stuck so I stole the vehicle and won the lottery.

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Why was the man named Thomas? Because that was his name

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roses are red violets are blue they are pretty and you are not

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what do you call a cucumber that is wearing a dress.... an asian lady

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2 polar bears are standing on a chunk of ice that is floating in the Arctic Sea. One turns to the other and says, 'Dyu know; I keep thinking it's Thursday...'

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what kind of road kill is green and smells like cookies? girl scouts

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Guess What??? Ur Murr

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How else can an Asian wear a contact lens? Too bad for them. They can;t sucks for them. Asians with small eyes EXCEPT FOR INDIANS look ugly

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sally has no arms knock knock who's there not sally

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A:Whats the air speed velocity of a swallow? B:What an african or English swallow? A:Well I don't know that.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because it felt like it, now mind your own business!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops