What do you call a dog that has no legs? It doesn't matter because he will never come.

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why did the squrill leave his home an ax-man cut it down

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If Johnny has 5 apples and Susie has 7 apples, will they give them to the homeless?

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So tell me what’s worse than a baby? A dead baby… Well then what’s worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies… And what’s worse than a pile of dead babies? A live baby sitting on top of a pile of dead babies… And what’s worse than a live baby sitting on top of a pile of dead babies? A live baby eating it’s way out of a pile of dead babies…

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face" and the horse says "my wife just died of skin cancer."

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Im going to the patriots jets game this year..... When the kick a feild goal and you see two kids wearing lime green holding up a poster that says BRADY LIKES SAGGY BALLS that will be me and my friend -RT

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What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer..... Just Kidding! He got a bike!

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When did the black man go to the pharmacy and why ? His wife , for whom he cared very much , had a cold and he had to get her prescription for her . On top of that , he had a horrible problem problem with painkillers that caused him to have an aneurysm on the way there .

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Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you dirty racist.

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What do you call a pelican with no wings? A dead pelican

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Q: Why didin't fat billy take the last peace of pie? A: cuz he was not hungry

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Why didn't the dog come to his master when it was called? It didn't have any legs.

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Why did the guy fall into the ocean? He was surfing

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Q: why did the boy cross the road A: because he was being chased by a pedophile

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It was nice knowing you Erron, it really was.

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What do you call a man with no legs and arms hanging on your wall? Art

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knock knock who's there? Bill Bill who? Bill Smith, we went to high school together. Oh hey Bill, come on in.

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Kah-________-

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baby loves lalma

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Lets just say some of my boys owed me a favor, and that if we where all "clean slate workers" I would never have been able to pull some favors out of the higher ups. As far as for "these Shadows" of yours, I know nothing, while I invented the encoding format for the messages you use, I intend keeping it to myself. People here will still assume this is bullshit unless you get somebody to hack this site, believe me, its pretty damn easy to retrieve whatever data might have been lost.

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Your Mom

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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Why was the man's foot hurting? Because he was being fed into a wood chipper

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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