Why did the chicken cross the road? He crossed the road to get to a podium. He then made a lond speech about how chickens should be able to cross a road with out having their motives questioned.

What's worse than stepping on a nail? stepping on the nail and falling on more nails face first.

Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a serial killer.

why did the girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? A wheelchair

Whats pink and looked like an angry bulldog? Your moms vagina last night

How do you save stop your soulmate from dying of cancer? Shoot them on the head.

Why didn't Sally make it to school on time? She got savagely beaten and raped.

Roses are red, Violets are Blue Last night was amazing, I have Aids

A boy asked his dad Why are Chinese eyes like that. His dad replied there concentrating that's why there so smart The boy went up to a student in his class and said look I'm like you The teacher asked who told him that he said his dad The dad was called up by the school when the teacher told him what his son did he went GOOZILLA His wife asked him what he was up to and he said farting on her face when she was a sleep 3 days later he found out his wife was cheating on him he knocked on the door only to realize he was on drugs and that he never had a family.

What did the giraffe say to the walrus? Nothing. Giraffes can't talk. What did the Scotsman say to the walrus? Nothing. Scotsmen can't talk.

where are the maternaty clothing in walmart???? The C section

Miley Cyrus is Twerk Queen

How do you get rid of a boomerang? There are many potential options for getting rid of your boomerang. You can choose to pass it on to somebody as a gift, make a profit through thrift stores or online auctions or perhaps sell it in a newspaper. Alternatively you may wish to simply dispose of it. The average reading speed of an American adult is 300 words per minute. This was exactly 100 words. This means that it took approximately 20 seconds to read it. This means that approximately 4 people died of cancer world wide while you read this.

What do you do when you see a black child riding a bike? Think to yourself, "Wow" you don't see many kids riding bikes anymore because there too busy playing video games in their basement.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I've got a shotgun, Give me the money.

Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

God and Allah are having a metaphysical picnic, God says to his fellow deity: "Why do you think so many humans have been killed in our names?" Allah muses upon this for a moment and replies: "Because they think we exist."

A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

Why did Anna fall off her bike? She had no arms. Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Anna.

What do you call a man who's eating thirty big macs ? Hungry.

if my evil next door neighbor is building a rocket to steal the moon with the help of 3 little girls, a grumpy old man and about 5000 small yellow poeple; what do i do? get sued for coping a copyrighted movie plot

What's black, white and red all over? A nun that's just been shot.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he had no arms.

Polly went out for a cigarette. Then she was raped.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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