A man in a wheelchair walks into a bar... ...wait a second.

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"did you hear about the midget's self-murder?" "No, what happend?" "He jumped off the curb"

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a boy meets a girl the rest is censored

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Why did LeBron James up and bail on Cleveland? He thought there was a greater opportunity for postseason success by playing in Miami.

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What happens when you Shoot a guy with a red Shirt On? He Dies.

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What did batman say to robin before getting into the bat mobile? Don't touch my penis.

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Hey, have you heard the one about the elf and the watermelon? Neither have I.

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What did the ghost say to the bee? BOOBEE

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What do you call a black pilot? A PILOT

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead become stranded on a desert island. As they are searching for food and shelter, they come across a mystical-looking lamp. They rub the lamp, but nothing happens because genies don't exist.

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Why cant Hellen Keller Drive? Because shes a women.

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A Jew walks into a bar. He sits down for about half an hour, enjoys some drinks and calls a taxi to take him home.

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What do you say on a date with Uma Thurman? Hey Uma, pass the salt.

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Knock Knock Who's there? You had purchase an item online through Amazon.com, I'm the delivery guy. You had purchase an item online through Amazon.com, I'm the delivery guy, who?

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Why did the blonde die? She was slurped up by a 1,000 foot anteater.

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1 fish 2 fish red fish wait why is the fish red , oh I forgot I killed it

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what has balls and is long and suckible? Spaghetti

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Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

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Man in Balcony: You're telling it wrong!

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Why did the fly get off the toilet? It got pissed off.

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How did the dog die? It was wet because of the rain so the little boy put him in the microwave for 30 minutes to warm him up

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Q: Why didnt the dinosaurs cross the road? A: Because theyre all dead.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What did the alcoholic tell his son? Don't do meth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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