Want to hear a joke about Potassium? So do I.

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That`s my friends phone, I can call you from mine too if you want, please just don't hurt me, let me speak to you, I promise I will explain everything.

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knock knock, whos there? the repo man.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. Though if the ladder is rickety and she needs someone to steady it for her, two.

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Why was the Jewish man sad? His wife was brutally murdered, His chilren raped, Parents stabbed horrifically and stuffed with turtles and the doctor just informed him that he had cancer and was due to die 17 minutes ago.

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What did Sally get for chirstmas? Cancer

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Chicken

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Two little boys are talking to each other: - My dad's dick is soo biig! - Eh, my dad's dick is small but it still hurts...

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What's worse than dying in a car wreck with your family? You being the only one that dies.

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What does "Fiat" stand for? "Fabbrica Italiana Automobili Torino."

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What do you call 10 dead babies in a blender? A horrible, horrible child abuse incident.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? You put her on a table and slowly pull her limbs off

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The WNBA

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Sometimes I light my hair on fire and pretend I'm a candle.

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Pickle!

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What did the black man say to his wife on valentines day? - You are fat

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Knock Knock Who's there? St. Judes St.Judes who ? St.Judes Research Hospital calling. Give me money, I've got cancer kids dying

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how may i help you

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Barack Obama walks into a bar. He's black.

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If i have a remote that can switch people to mute, the number 1 people will be asian, and it will be on the train.

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Q: Why did the Jew have to go to the Holocaust A: Because he was Jewish

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What do you call Americans Watching Canadians? Hockey

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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