A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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Two gay guys go into a bedroom, in different houses at different times.

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Chuck Norris can watch TV.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing chair ? Gravity.

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Question: why did the pilot crash the plane? Answer: because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Why did the man jump out of the plane? Because the plane was losing fuel fast so he grabbed a parachute and went for it and realized that was the only one left so everyone died a horrible death.

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Why did the tortoise beat the hare. The tortoise had carcinoma thyroid cancer in the renal pelvis uterur.

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Is there any non dirty numbers these days, 69, just kidding

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Guess what? Chicken butt? Poultry gluteus maximus!

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What did Timmothy get when he got back from his vacation in a tropical destination? Malaria.

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What do you call a man with a convex isogonal nonprismatic head? Rhombicosidodecahedron head.

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Penis. (Note: if you get this you have a dirty ass)

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yo mamma's so fat, when she jumped into the ocean, everyone yelled "tsunami!".

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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why was the boy crying? ... because he had a frog stapled yo his face.

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What do you get if your mailman drops your letter in black paint? Blackmail

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A ninja walks into a bar the bartender asks "what would you like?" The ninja says "i'll have two green eyes" the bartender says "we dont have green eyes this is america" so the ninja is so mad that he goes home and brutally beats his wife with a spatula.

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked: "Why the long face?" The horse said: "My wife just died."

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Your mother is so stupid because as a child, she was unable to keep up with what was being taught as she unfortunately had a learning disability.

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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A black man orders a pizza to be delivered to his house. He is delightfully pleased at the speed in which the pizza was delivered and decided he would order from that pizza shop again in the near future.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? A: Shark bait.

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What do you say to an over weight Jewish mother? "Work on those crunches" He was her coach.

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Why did the black man win the race Because he was faster than all the other contestants

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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