So Helen Keller walks into a bar...

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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Q: What is George Harrison's favorite hairstyle? A: How can we know? He's dead!

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what did the fat guy say to the girl ill make fun of you because i have bigger tits than you

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want to get screwed for four years? VOTE REFUGLYCAN!

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Why was the chicken sad because it lost it's family

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life is like a penis, short but feels long when it's hard.

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How do you make Al Gore cry? Kill his daughter.

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What the best part of having sex with twenty-eight year olds? Theres 20 of them.

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Two penguins are sitting on an ice flow. One says to the other: "hey--you know, it looks like you are wearing a tuxedo." The other one says, "who says I'm not?"

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How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? A car crash.

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Why did the surfer surf in the ocean without a surfboard? Either he was mentally challenged, simply dreaming, a fish, or most likely did not have a surfboard.

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A man took a police officers gun and threw it at a baby in a stroller. He went to jail.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Oranges can't talk therefore this is not a accurate accusation.

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Q- what's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A- you take of your shoes to jump on a trampoline

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What did the penguin say to the tiger? I'm in the wrong country.

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roses are red violets are blue i forgot what i was gonna say my dad is an engineer

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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A white guy drives to Home Depot in order to get supplies for remodeling his kitchen. He notices a few Mexicans standing around outside. He decides to go to to Lowe's instead.

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What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing. The ocean is inanimate and therefore incapable of speech.

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Man walks into an apple store. Shortly after he leaves with a fully charged phone.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Nothing, we eat pizza and we respect Jews.

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Q. What's the difference between a Mcdonalds employee and a gynecologist? A. They have different jobs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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