A horse walks into a bar. The waiter asks: 'Why the long face?' The horse, not understanding English, takes a crap on the floor and walks out.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall Humpty Dumpty is an egg so nobody cares

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What is the difference between a doorknob? Toast.

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if x marks the spot, what does y do? y does the laundry.

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An Irishman walked into a pub and ordered a pint. He had planned to just have one but ended up having two since he'd had a rough day at work. His wife was slightly annoyed that he came home smelling of beer.

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If you give a mouse a cookie... ...you're destroying its natural diet. It might die.

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What was Anne Frank's favorite hiding spot? She only had one, so she was unable to pick a favorite.

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Why did Gary have severe learning difficulties? Because his mother drank a lot of alcohol while she was pregnant, and it harmed his development significantly.

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Hay is for horses and other hay consuming mammals.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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What did the doctor say to the recently diagnosed AIDS patient? I'm sorry there is nothing we can do.

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knock knock. who's there greench greench who greenchicken feathers

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whats worse then finding a finger in your soup? - being a cook and losing a finger

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Jonny runs with scissors. He gets hit by a bus.

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why did the giraffe cross the road? because my dad and his "fishing buddies" are having another "meeting" in the basement. I hear weird noises, and I haven't seen my little sister in weeks, since the last "meeting." Dad said she went to a special camp for little girls. I hear horrible noises.

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I love results day! for every A* I get 30 pounds! everything else I cut myself.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Living in Africa.

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why did victor have a tube on his neck he was helping james with security

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Why did the cow cross the road? The slaughter yard was on the other side!

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Why was the Tyrannosaurus Rex such an aggressive animal? it had short arms so it could not masturbate.

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How do you stop moles from digging in your garden? Take the shuvel away.

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What is a man? A misserable little pile of shi... Moral: What is a man?

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If a girl sleeps with 20 guys, she's a slut. If a guy does the same... He's Gay.

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Your mom is so fat her daily calorie intake is dangerously above the recommended 2000 per day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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