What did Steven Hawking say to God after he died? Nothing. He can't talk.

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A lion walks into petsmart and asks the cashier were the dog food is. The Cashier replies your a cat and the cat food is in isle 4 you pussy

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What starts with F and ends with uck? Fire truck

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

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A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street when they see an orphanage on fire. "Oh my god!" says the rabbi. "We have to save the children!" "Screw the children!" says the priest. "Out of what?" replies the rabbi.

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How many people does it take to drive a car? 1 person

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What is sticky and smelly - a stick

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a depressed alcoholic drug addict whose children had all been diagnosed with a rare form of terminal brain cancer, and he decided to end it then and there by jumping in front of an approaching bus.

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What do a grape and a plane have in common? They both have wings... except for the grape!

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In the middle of a long flight from Heathrow to Chicago O'Hare, the passengers of a 747 watched the engines all suddenly flame out. "Now, folks," the captain said over the PA as the plane plummeted to the earth, "I want it on record that I said it in plain English: a 747 can't fly from Heathrow to Chicago without refueling." No one bothered writing it down.

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How long can penguins hold their breath underwater? Long enough for you to eat a baby and then cover for it.

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Why did the Irishman walk out of the bar? He didn't. He's Irish

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How did the suicide bomber die? Cancer.

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What's the difference between a baby and a pineapple? Pineapples were not shot by nazis during the holocaust.

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Yo momma so lazy she hasn't been to work in weeks and you no longer have electricity or food.

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Q: Why did the little Canadian girl start crying ? A: Because her mum through a fridge at her.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? it had vaginal warts

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What do you call 1 black guy and 9 other white guys? Patrick Mills

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Billy was walking along the sidewalk. He strayed into someone's yard. He got run over by a lawnmower because he couldn't see with the frog he had stapled to his face.

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There is a blond and a burnette in a car. The blonde is driving. What a nice use of the carpool

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how many Amish men does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but the likelihood of an Amish man needing to change a lightbulb is very slim.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your roommate, I forgot my keys.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops