Penis

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How many different ways can you kill a cat? 27, unless you live in Russia then it's 28

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Yo momma is so fat... Her body mass is above average.

thumb_up thumb_down -71

what kind of panda eats leaves? the gray one :D

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you punish Helen Keller? By grounding her.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What's better than your mom dying? Chocolate Cake.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do a comb and a guitar have in common? Neither of them can climb trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why is it when birds fly in a "V" shape one side is longer? There's more birds on that side.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A women gets a call saying her only daughter is trapped inside a burning building. She runs as fast as she can too her car before she realizes... women can't drive due to their role in society.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Girlfriend: OMG! what could be worst than you cheating on me? Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

When life gives you lemons, go sell them for crack.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was already in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

There is a Mexican, American, and an Italian on a boat.They start to sink. All of them brought things from their country. The Mexican threw burritos over and said, "We have too much of these." The American threw american cheese over and said, "We have too much of these in our country." The Italian throws over pizza and says the same thing. They are still sinking. Then, the American picks up the Mexican, throws him over and says, "We have too much of these in our country."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why don't you have a seat, over there?

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Guy1: Hey! Do you want to hear a potassium joke? Guy2: Sure! Guy1: K

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red violets are blue, he is for me and not for you, he's too ugly you can have him

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's three times More dangerous than a war? Three wars

thumb_up thumb_down +7

There's a car about to hit me.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Vaginal secretions

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red Violets are blue You are green Curse you!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's blue and orange at the bottom of a swimming pool? A dead baby, why's it there? I popped the arm bands.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Shape like a book, have papers like a book, have a cover like a book, and could be read like a book. But it's not a book, what is it? A dictionary

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops