Hurr durr, I shit my pants.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you get when lettuce and oranges come together? I dont know, thats why I asked you.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What do you call a not as grumpy Jewish man in his mid 30s? Danny. What do you call 5 of his best friends? Arin, Suzy, Barry, Ninja Brian, And Ross. Another possible answer to the 1st question is currently not married.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A blind man walks into a bar. The next day he goes out and buys a new seeing eye dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What happens when Lord Voldemort tries to kill Harry Potter? He is unsuccessful.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats the difference between a van with a bunch of babies in the back and a Cadillac with a bunch of babies in the back I don't have a Cadillac in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you stop a canadian from saying eh? Kill it...

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock Knock Who's There Your doctor... You have Aids

thumb_up thumb_down -27

http://www.google.com/imgres?q=harry+styles+funny&hl=en&safe=active&biw=1024&bih=398&gbv=2&tbm=isch&tbnid=lc8_fNCatYHOqM:&imgrefurl=http://www.vervegirl.com/harry-being-typical-harry/&docid=86Gw8eNJ73tOYM&imgurl=http://www.vervegirl.com/cms/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/harry-styles-300.jpg&w=300&h=400&ei=q4vHT9XwHYL48gSJoJzJDw&zoom=1

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q:What the difference between a piano and a guitar A: Nothing, there both instruments and i lied about the difference

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is white, red, and all in your girlfriend? red and white blood cells

thumb_up thumb_down -31

I like to give help to people, expecting that they will be my slaves for life.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

How do you kill a blonde? You shoot her.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Richard Nixon walks into a bar. Everyone is thrilled to meet a former President of the United States who returned from the grave.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the doorstep? The Diabetes man

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you kill a Mexican? Rupture its vital organs like any other organism ,but murder is wrong and should not be done under any circumstance

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got Alzheimer's, Who are you?

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the chicken cross the road? His family was being held hostage on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down

penisvaginaorgasm

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What starts with F and ends with UCK? FUCK

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A twelve year old play Minecraft. He never made any friends. What did you expect?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why are black people good at basketball? While there are many preternaturally gifted black men and women in professional basketball, the notion that one race holds sway over the others in terms of sheer skill and talent is a ridiculous stereotype; propagated, no doubt, by both ignorant and jealous persons of other colors.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops