A man walks into a bar and says ow. Two men walk into a bar, which is weird, because the second guy should have seen it coming.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was the man hit by the car? Hellen Keller was driving.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He had nobody to go with :)

thumb_up thumb_down

I17. I17. I17. That was my best impression of a Bingo caller.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

a dog walks into a drug store and orders a bone. what does the cashier do? she wakes up.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How do you confuse a blonde? put her in a circular room and tell her to stand in the corner

thumb_up thumb_down -1

a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

There was an Irishman and an Australian who walked into a bar. There was also an American, who didn't. Why didn't the American walk into the bar? He was a midget.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry." "No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away." "I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What happened to the blonde who blew out her birthday candles? Her hair caught on fire

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Doctor, I am afraid of getting sexually abused. Hmm, sounds serious, take off all your clothes so we can get a proper look.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the boy fail his test? Because he got shot before he could even study.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why couldn't the blonde make ice cubes? Because recently she has been missing payments on the elictric bill because of economic hardships.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

So there was this kid who was sitting on a stool, and the stool started moving. He then realized that stools do not move, so he got up and ran away as quickly as he could.

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why did the computer monitor stop working? Becasue it has a date with a slice of cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Woman rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What happened when the terrorist with a bomb went into a school. He blew up and everyone died.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call it, he isn't coming. Posted By: Lram

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the man say to the other man? I would have no clue because I am deaf

thumb_up thumb_down +9

doctor: hey u ready to get home person: yea doctor: that sucks cause u have cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -4

ohai. whutz en ahntei johk? sownz soopihd.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops