What's worse than having two girlfriends at once. Seven. Seven girlfriends. All across America.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

two elephants in a bathtub Elephant 1: pass me the soap Elephant 2: no, radio!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A Grape Soda inside a Chicken inside a Watermelon. Blackception.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

knock knock! who's there? a fat salesperson here to deliver your supplements

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was the boy sleeping on the curb? he wasn't actually sleeping, he actualy just got hit by a car and had already died.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did the German say to the Jew? I'm not quite sure; I don't speak German.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A man says hello to his best friend in the morning like he always does. Why did his best friend not reply? The mans best friend is not real and is actually a figment of the mans imagination because he has been suffering from a severe case of schizophrenia his whole life and has many imaginary friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why couldn't the boy see? He was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -62

There once was a man from Dundee, Whose Limericks ended on line three. I don't know why.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what’s worse than 12 dead babies in one trash can? one dead baby in 12 trash cans

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A: what does hellen keller say to her mom? B: nothing. she cant speak due to her lack of hearing and visualizing

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Yo Mama so slow She can't run very fast.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do you call a fly with no wings? A fly.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

knock knock whos there knock knock whos there knock knock whos there poor billy didnt know that the knocking was just a tree branch and he stayed asking the same question for 21 years

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Nah, its fine, I just went to get a popsicle, and its square, so don't get any ideas. Honestly? When I first met "some jerk" calling himself Nero here, I began calling myself Nero, because I thought that the jerk that turned out to be you, Nero himself, sigh. was screwing over his own reputation. But now I realize that what makes you who you are, is that you say whats on your mind without going "oh no what will others think about me, what if this or that happens", you accept yourself for who you are, and if the rest do not, well screw them right? As you told me at first and proved to me during our conversations, you respect and value individuality and integrity. And well, you are a guy, you think like a guy (I honestly dont think we girls think that differently, we are simply socially indoctrinated or "engineered" in order to think that we do), I mean let me say something really honest here. Nero, I only dare say this once, so take me seriously I really want you to fuck me, and yeah, I may say that when we meet too, considering I have not even said it yet, just in my head... Anyway, its not something I am insecure about nor ever was and blahblahblah, the end, oh, and yeah, I really want and need a friend like you.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q: What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench? A: A bus stop

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a soda. The bartender says, "We don't serve soda." The guy then says, "oh", and walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the hispanic man say to the black man? I don't know, if I was listening to their conversation, the would be creepy.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's black can run really fast and jump really high? A panther

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A Polish man is walking down the street carrying a brown paper bag. He runs into one of his buddies, who asks, "Hey! What's in the bag?" The man tells his friend that he has some fish in the bag. His friend says, "Well, I'll make you a bet. If I can guess how many fish you have in the bag, you'll have to give me one." The man replies, "I'm sorry, my friend, but gambling is against my morals, especially when my family's only nutrition for the week is on the line."

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do you blind an Asian? Rip out his eyeballs.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a dog that's having a stroke? An emergency animal hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Two guys walk into a bat, they have a couple drinks then go home, one crashed and died in a horrible drunk driving accident. The other, who took a cab, went home and viciously beat his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the chicken help people across the road all day? Because after past experiences the chicken decided to become a lollypop chicken and help people not make the mistakes he did

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops