Why did the duck cross the road? Because it was going to the destination he wanted to go to.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why did the bear eat meat? he was hungry

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the anonymous name for vampire hunters? The KKK.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

A kid is riding down the street when his chain pops off his bicycle. The kid yells "God damn!" as he begins to fix it. A priest walking nearby overhears the boy taking god's name in vein and says "Don't say 'God damn' say 'God help us'". The kid says, "I am an atheist, get away from me".

thumb_up thumb_down -44

anti jokes

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Where did Tommy go after the bomb went off? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Q:what did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile? A:get in the batmobile

thumb_up thumb_down -1

whats worse than the holocaust? 2 holocausts

thumb_up thumb_down -5

69

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the chicken cross the road---- because he's having financial and relationship related problems that make his life so hideously unbearable that he wants to kill himself and because he's a chicken and cannot overdose or hang himself he goes for the most viable option as to run across a busy street in hopes of getting smashed to oblivion by a car

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's the difference between a bird? Both legs are the same, especially the left one

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: Whats better than 10 baby's nailed to 1 tree. A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man died.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the Farmer had treated the Chicken and the rest of his family with great distaste, thus angering the Chicken to the point of rebellion against the Farmer with hopes of inspiring the other abused farm animals to act likewise.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: What is the difference between a duck? A: That question doesn't make any sense.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did the convicted necrophiliac pedophile do when he found a dead baby? He reported it to the authorities because despite his past habits and behaviour, and after years of rehabilitation he became a responsible and considerate citizen

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A duck walked up to a lemonade stand. The owner of the stand marveled at how close such an adorable duck was to him and proceeded to sell lemonade undisturbed.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are red, ill give you a wink, two in the pink, and one in the stink.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Justin Bieber walks into a bar. -sensored-

thumb_up thumb_down -20

whats orange, green and has a treadmill attached to it? a cantaloupe, i lied about the treadmill.

thumb_up thumb_down

If file gives you melons, you might be dyslexic

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why should you never eat a jellyfish on a Wednesday? Because it will sting you with its poison.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the Muslim do when he got on the bus? He realized he was in the wrong place and got on a plane and blew it up.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the man take a shower?, he didint smell so good...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops