What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your balls chewed off by a rottweiler.

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What's red and weighs a metric ton? An apple, my scale wasn't calibrated

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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why did the semen cross the road? i wore the wrong sock today.

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Why did the cook put rubber bands in the spaghetti Because he was an asshole

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A blond is stranded on a desert island when she finds a magic lamp. Except it's actually a rock and she is hallucinating due to dehydration and starvation.

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What's the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes back from camp.

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Why was the tree sad? Trees cannot think or move, and thus cannot feel emotions.

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What did the gay man say to the other gay man? I like guys... cause I'm gay.

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Grapefruit.

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why dose micheal jackson like 29 year olds Because there is 20 of them

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Chuck Norris can beat an eleven-year-old in a fight.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because it was a hammer.

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KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

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How do you kill a blonde? Irreversibly damage her vital organs to the point where she loses consciousness and will never wake again.

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Why did the black man die? A white man killed him. He was a member of the KKK.

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whats one plus one penis

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why did the duck cross the road? because his d**k was stuck in the chickens a**....

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What's funnier than the Holocaust? Everything, because the Holocaust was a dark time. poop in the buttcheeks

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why did the dog jump into the pool? because the cat was chasing him

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your mama is so fat that she weighs 261 pounds.

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Q: why did the pie cross the road? A: Pie is not a living thing and has no way of transportation, therefor the pie did not cross the road.

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Why was the girl sad on her Birthday? She found out she was adopted.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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