What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i dont like to rhyme, but i do like to poo.

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What did the alphabetical soup spell for little Bobby? U gOt SUzie prEgnant ....... aGaiN

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What do you get when you cross a squirrel and lasagna? I don't know,I'm asking you the question.

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You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs floating in the ocean? Bob. What do you call a man with no arms or legs in front of your door? Matt. What do you call a man with no arms or legs hanging on your wall? Art.

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Hey

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Why did the bald man lose his hair no not cancer obviously AIDS.

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Would anyone like to contribute to my slush fund?

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the next time someone says "yolo" im going to pull out my shotgun and reply "sadly..."

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor?

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A man walks into a bar and shuffles his way through the intoxicated patrons. He finds the only open stool and quickly sits in it before any other see it. The bartender approaches him and ask: "What will it be?" The man replies: "Can I have a beer?"

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I've had Alzheimer's for as long as I can remember... So since yesterday.... CHAYOTE ASTRONAUT SPACE SAY WHAT?!?!?!

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Why wasn't the clown funny? He didn't have a face

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what did the wall say to the floor? nothing interior structure supports do not talk

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house... Knock, knock Who's there? The chicken.

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what has four legs but cant walk? a dog after A-N-A-L

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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What is green and red and spins around? A frog in a blender

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Anti-Jokes is addicting, you know what else is addicting? Heroine.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Suzie.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? Another successful moon landing by NASA in which the African-American astronaut went on a successful moon walk.

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Your mother smells so bad that people make comments about it behind her back, and one person mailed her some soap.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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