What do an eagle and a off-white light bulb have in common? Nothing.

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A man walks off the top of a very tall building. Why did he fall off? Because he was blind

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What do you call a fat guy running on the street? Nothing because you should respect his effort trying to improve his health.

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You you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you. Way do go lazy you didn't read all the you's so you didn't realize there was a yoo in there. But now you realize there aren't any yoo's there way to go.

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A man walks into a bar, looks around, and reveals an AK-47 assault rifle he had been concealing beneath his trenchcoat. He then turns to his left and fires repeated shots around the bar, to the surprise and fear of many. Then he shoots himself. The death total is estimated at 9, including the shooter, while the total injured is around 22.

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'Dyslexic man walks into a bar... and orders a pint

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Shakespeare walks into a bar, Having just seen someone that has been dead for over 400 years, the young man in the corner quits his drug addiction; it was clearly messing with his brain.

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Why did the little boy die? His mother got an abortion...

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What do you call a black doctor? A doctor you racist

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What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and my cousins? Nothing.

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Why did the black man cross the road? Black people don't exist.

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a dog and a duck went out for a meal they both ordered lobster and enjoyed the night.

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A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

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Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear, fuzzy wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy had no hair because he had cancer and died 3 weeks later.

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what do you call 10 black people in a red car? overcrowded

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Why couldn't the Chinese women see... It's because she just got into a terrible car accident and suffered a rental detachment in both eyes. Follow up question, why was the Chinese women even allowed to drive?

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A lobster walks up to an octopus. What does he say? Nothing. Lobsters cannot talk.

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If an asian man is really angry with a jewish man named gabriel what does he say? Gabriel I am angry with you

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A black man, Jew, and Asian walk into a bar... What does the bartender say? get out.

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This winter: "The seal is broken, as the spirits of hell go across the world, I can help you find them Clint! But only you can prevent them from killing your family!" "I will do whatever I must!" "Be careful, you can only see them with medication sample X, and destroy them with the super addictive Meladocs 5" "HOW DO I KILL THEM! I CANNOT HANDLE MORE MELADOCS 5! ITS ADDICTIVE AS HELL!" "Only you can save us Clint, only you can do this until their world malfunctions saving us all, but killing you in the process!" "I WILL... I CAN!... UGH... HOW MUCH LONGEEEEEEEEEEEEER!" THE PACKMAN: THE MOVIE.

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How do you blindfold a Chinese man? With a blindfold.

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The guy above me has a very nice joke

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One of them I can whack with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

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A monkey enters a bar and climbs up on a stool. The bartender asks, "What'll ya have, pal?" The monkey, who can niether speak nor understand English, appears slightly perplexed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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