Why did the boy find love? because if the girl did not love her he would kill her

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Why didn't Jane buy an ice-cream? Because she was lactose intolerant.

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If Michael Jackson were alive today, what would he be doing? Scratching at the top of his coffin.

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When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then watch the world as they wonder how you did it

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. Everyone is amazed because he can now walk.

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Two men walk into a bar. The bar was being robbed. They were both shot in the confusion.

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9 tottenham fans walk into a french bar 2 minutes later French fans attack them saying this is for making our history lessons boring 1 shouts ohh the holocaust French fans ash him even more 5 say there call the jew squard next minute there getting attacked by a bunch of kids and lying that there were 30 neo Nazi men.

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What has eyes but can't see? A blind person.

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An Irishman stays home

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Person 1:"Knock Knock" Person 2: Whos there.... Wait why did you literally say the words "Knock Knock" Person 1: I have no idea

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roses are red violets are blue your mum is a whore as are you:)

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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why did jonathan not get any presents for the holiday?because it was the 4th of July

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Why? Why Not?

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what did the Spanish priest say to the Ukranian gynocologist? *fart*

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Jerry Sandusky prefers twenty eight year olds. 20 eight year olds.

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how much will u suck my dick for? $100, $50, $25, o u said none so u give freebees!!!!

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An English man, a German man and a Canadian man stood on the edge of a cliff. The English and German both jump off. What happens then? The Canadian says "they were serious?!" and runs away to fake his death and live the rest of his life as Frank Brown.

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whats long, hard, and full of semen? A submarine

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What did the 14 year old girl get on her birthday? A cake that read, "You're adopted"!

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Bison: I just dont feel like having bread for breakfast again Sagat: You want some... Cornflakes? Bison: Ohohoh Ahahaha! Sagat: You like it? Bison: THIS IS DELICIOUS! Balrog: :( What about those tapes I made for you? You want me to...:( Bison: Balrog, shut up.

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Did you hear about the guy who came home one night and found his wife in bed with his best friend? He had just returned from a trip to the grocery store, where he'd purchased bread, milk, eggs, broccoli, yams, tea, and brownie mix.

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An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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