Whats the difference between a car and a dead child? I don't have a dead baby in my basement.

How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Fish.

Why did the girl throw her watch out of the window? because her mind wasn't as intelligent as a normals person mind as she had mental problems.

What did the man say to the duck? Nothing ducks don't talk.

whats worst then being raped tortured and killed? it happening to 500000 puppies DX

Q.What do you call a beaver with a unibrow. A. A beaver........it's still a beaver

CAS

Why did the first koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala.

What's more irritating than a half eaten apple? Some prick taking up half the page with shitty copy and past routine.

Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Meanwhile in the basement...an elderly man, who lives a lone and whose children lead their own lives and dont have much time for him, lies on the ground unable to move after having falling down the stairs. He has been there for 2 days. He is frightened and confused, he hears someone knocking and his hopes perk up, he tries to call but due to lack of water his mouths is too dry to do so. He sobs in frustration. Knock Knock [Silence] The old man cries, aware of his fate.

what's worse than being attacked by a giant ant? being attacked by two giant ants

Why is chad so gay? Its his choice.

Waffles ate my grandma

Why did the chicken cross the road? 24

Why did the cow cross the road? -Because it lives in India and is allowed to.

Whats worse than finding a worm in an apple? having a worm sized penis.

How do you fit 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender. How do you get them out again? With Doritos.

Why do we learn about the Civil Rights Movement in History class? So it won't happen again.

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "what would you like to drink?". The horse, unable to comprehend english, just nods and proceeds to shit on the floor

knock knock whose there open the door open the door who just open the door so i can come inside

what do you call a black man flying a plane? a pilot. what do you call a woman flying a plane? 9/11.

yo momma is so fat she ate the rest of the joke

How do you make a lawyer cry? You can't. The production of tears requires a soul, which, regretfully, no lawyer possesses.

Q: What do you call three black people in a car? A: Maltesers

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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