- Anti Joke

What's 9 + 10 19

Q: What happened to Sally, did she get that cough checked out? A: She died while driving there and got in a 12 car pileup.

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "For Christ's sakes, Grandma, put your pants back on!"

My two friends Larry and Paul are both race horses. They were getting ready for a big race to quolify them for the Kentucky durby. BANG! The race started! What. Close race! First it was Larry then Paul then Larry then Paul! And finally Larry came out and won it! Paul went to the winners circle and congratulated Larry. He said "hey great job Larry but next time after you come back from touring will you let me win?" Larry says "oh! Of course this couldn't get between us! We're like two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket. We're best friends"... So when he came back from touring Larry said it was great! And promised let Paul win. BANG the race started! It was Paul then Larry then Paul then Larry won again. Paul was a little mad that he he didn't win but he went to congratulate larry anyway. Larry said next time he was deffinetly going to let Paul win, because he wasn't gonna let this get between them because they are two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket, they are best friends. Then after Larry came back from touring he promised again he would let Paul win. BANG! The race started and it was Paul then Larry! Then Paul! Larry! Paul! Then larry won. Paul at this point furious went to the winners circle. He talked to Larry "Larry why didn't you let me win for the third time!? This is just your ego trying to win every time now!?" I didn't want them to fight so I chimed in "Larry, Paul! Please don't fight! Your two peas in a pod! Closer then bread in a basket! Your best friends!! You don't want to fight like this!" Larry turned to Paul and said "Hey look! A talking dog!"

A blond and a redhead are walking down the street the red head says look a dead bird the blond looks up

Q:What's the difference between a duck? A: The higher it flies, the much.

how do you make a baby cry? put a nail through its foot

A man walks into a bar and sees that the pianist is just twelve inches tall. He asks the bartender, ''How come you have a 12-inch pianist?'' The bartender replies, ''We have a genie in the back room. He'll answer all your wishes, but be careful, because he has a little trouble hearing.'' The man walks into the back room and asks the genie for a million bucks. The genie then gives him a million ducks. The man comes out and tells the bartender that the genie misheard his wish. The bartender says, ''Come on, now! Do you really think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?!''

Q. Why did Steve Carell, the 40 year old virgin, fail to get laid? A. Erectile Dysfunctioning.

Why do girls have bumps around their nipples ? -it's brai for suck here .

KNOCK-KNOCK Who's there? There's a man after me, I was just walking down the street and he started chasing me! I'm scared, I don't know what he'll do. Let me in goddamnit! There's a man after me I was just walking down the street and he started chasing me I'm scared I don't know what he'll do let me in goddamnit who?

What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? Toys -Lets Go MEts

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks: dude, what happened to your eye? The man replies: abuse.

How do you upset an Mexican? Kill his entire family.

Why did the rooster cross the road? To go play with the other roosters.

Why don't you have a seat, over there?

a horse is a horse. of course of course....unless its a cow

i lost the game

Three men walked into a bar the other one ducked. SI

Why did my mom smell bad. Because she is a corpse and has been dead for some days now

A german police officer sees a Rabbi. Nothing happens, it's 2011

I'm so hungry I feel I would be able to ingest large quantities of food.

Why did nobody like Anne? She was disabled

Knock Knock!! . . (There is no response as nobody's home)

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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