Why was the baker rich? Because he had a lot of money

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What happened when the kid tried to hang himself? He was overweight, so the ceiling fan that the rope was tied to fell out of the ceiling. When he explained this to his drunk mother when she got home, she reinforced the fact that he was overweight (his low self esteem was the root of his depression) and beat him. The next day, he just chugged antifreeze. This isn't a true story. Just calm down.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How did the two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for half an hr? They didn't and they died.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Whats horny and big A dick minus the big part!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know your mother is a skank.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Would anyone like to contribute to my slush fund?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Hitler arrives at his neighbor's barmitzfah... fashionably late.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a needle with two points? A two headed needle.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

-Whats not funny and has wheels? >What? -The Holocaust... I was lying about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you get when Johnson cooks toast? Shit toast.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the iceberg say when Titanic crashed on it? "Yeah!"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Hellen Keller walks into a bar. And a tree. And a lamp.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why did the bus hit the kid? he dropped his ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's that on my back? Tell me it's your phone ! Its my phone.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walks into a bar and orders 6 shots. They all miss.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what's the difference between you and a yack one is a spitting idiot and the other one is a camel

thumb_up thumb_down -1

wanna hear a dirty joke? ...trashcan

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because he was a pussy.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why did the chicken cross the road because he wanted AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Friends are like penguins because when you throw a polar bear at them they die

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do dogs and cats have in common? They eat dog food, accept for the cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What happened when the dog was was let out to chase the rabbit? It caught the rabbit and killed it.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What came first: the chicken or the egg? God.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock Knock I don't have a door. I'm Homeless

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops