The day after Christmas a chain-smoker, a sex addict, and an alcoholic go to the doctor. The doctor tells the three friends that they need to quit their addiction or they will die. R.I.P. Tommy, Jacob, and Winston 1/1/2011

Q: Why do black people buy so many pairs of shoes? A: Because when they outgrow there old pair they need new shoes.

What do you get when you cross a Poodle with a cupcake? Stop looking at these anti-jokes and get back to work.

One day, Little Timmy asked his mother this question, "Mommy, why are boys and girls different?" She responded, "You're adopted and Santa Claus is dead."

A baby seal walks into a club.

How did the hot blonde get a promotion from her boss? She worked really hard and achieved more thaan her coworkers.

a man walks into a gay bar. he was gay.

A black guy and a jew walk into a country club, within minutes, they are told to leave and never come back in order to avoid being contaminated by the radioactive waste left by a landfill company cutting corners in safety regulations

Knock knock... Knock knock... Knock knock... Unfortunately, nobody was home to sign for Marks parcel.

Katy Perry

What's an Animal? A natural periodic state of rest for the mind and body, in which the eyes usually close and consciousness is completely or partially lost, so that there is a decrease in bodily movement and responsiveness to external stimuli. During sleep the brain in humans and other mammals undergoes a characteristic cycle of brain-wave activity that includes intervals of dreaming. ... are you retarded? yes how did you know?

Q.Why did the chicken cross the road? A.Because it escaped from the farm.

what do you call a nun in a wheel chair? Virgin Mobile By: jb lshs

Why did the carpenter cry? Somebody killed his family.

what dyu call a bunch of white guys on a bench? the NBA

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

What's red, green, and goes about 200 mph A fire hidrent I lied about the green and the 200 mph

a man walks into a bar, it hurt.

here's a joke a black man goes in a store and buy something

How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Probably just one.

knock knock "who's there?" "boo" "boo who?" dont worry its only a joke dont cry.

Why did the little girl die Because she was kidnapped by a rapist, and defiled repeatedly, and then to get a ransom from her family the kidnapper slowly pulled out her fingernails and toenails, and sent them to the family the same thing happened with her fingers, toes, hands, feet, arms, legs, teeth, tounge, hair, and eyes, then she died of blood loss after nearly 2 months of torture.

Knock knock Who's there doorbell Doorbell who Doorbells can't knock

Whats black and white and red / read all over * a bloody penquin * nun falling down the slairs * news paper * a clumsey panda

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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