how did the man die he didnt

thumb_up thumb_down -41

What do you get when you cross a bungie cord and an owl? My ass :)

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Knock knock. Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A leper sees that a woman has dropped a bag of groceries on the sidewalk. "Hey ma'am, can I give you a HAND?" asks the leper. "No thank you, sir. I can manage." replies the woman. "That's a relief," laughs the leper, shyly. "I am quite weak due to leprocy."

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She didnt have any arms

thumb_up thumb_down +3

When life throws you melons you might be dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q. What is a brown cow called? A. A cow.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

a priest a rabbi and a minister all walk into a bar and the bartender says "is this a joke?"

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being molested by a giant octopus.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a black man driving an airplane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 20 years later he would gamble away his life savings and then go onto live a lonely and unfulfilled life.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What was Helen Keller's favorite activity? fingering herself...

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Two gay guys hosted a barbecue. The music and food was great. Everyone had a good time.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did my car stop suddenly? I had arrived at my appropriate destination.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why was six afraid of seven? Seven liked to eat numbers lower than itself.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. Unless she's particularly short, then she may need to get a friend, who may or may not be blonde, to help by holding the ladder.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What would Hellen Keller say to Obama? Nothing she can't speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why is my son so unhappy? Because I beat his mother violently in front of him

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Say silk 5 times. Silk Silk Silk Silk Silk Now what do cows drink? Water.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so i can text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Anthony sucks

thumb_up thumb_down +4

When birds fly south for the winter they fly in a V formation. one side is always longer than the other. why is that? Because there are more birds on that side

thumb_up thumb_down +17

yo mama so dumb she got hit by a parked car. ~YN~

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's the best part about Africa? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops