How do you make someone sad? Tell them they have cancer

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?? Because it Died

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What do you call 2 black men next to me. 2 Dead Men

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why is the spine-tailed swift the fastest bird? because its faster than the second fastest bird.

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: I am.

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Please? No.

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A girl walked into a bar and sat next to a man. She asked what he was drinking. He said something that makes you fly. She didn't believe him. He then went up to the roof, jumped off and walked back in the front door. She got the drink then tried to jump off the roof, and died on impact. The bartender said to the man "You're a real asshole when you're drunk superman."

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What were the pilots' of Malaysia Airlines Missing plane favourite programs? Lost...

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You know what's worse than having friends with a lake houses Not being invited to their lake house...

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A panda walks into a bar, orders some bamboo shoots, and bamboo leaves, and eats them

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Knock knock I don't even have a door just walk in

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Nothing really

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what did the terorist do when he went out side blew up

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the joke below will not be as funny as this one.... hahaha other joke i just ruined you

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Q: Why did the Klansman go up to acclaimed rapper and television star, Flavor Flav, and say "Do you know what time it is, boy?" A: Because his trademark "bling" seems to be an actual functioning time piece. Q2: Why did that same Klansmen brutally murder Flavor Flav after he learned it was 5:46 in the pm? A2: Becasue Flavor Flav is black and that's kinda what you're expected to do in the Klan...

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Did you see that picture of Helen Keller's dad? Yes. She didn't.

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There is a black man and a Mexican standing near the edge of a cliff, the black man turns to the Mexican and says, "We probably shouldn't stand this close to the edge of a cliff" The Mexican agrees and they step away from the cliff.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Answer: because he had no guts

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What did St. Mary Magdalene tell Pontius Pilate during the crucifixion of Christ? All this chaos is making me CROSS-eyed!

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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What happens when a toad is struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

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What's black, brown and red? My dog as a serial killer

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? He had heard from a mutual friend that his ex-girlfriend, who he had recently broken up with, would be present at the same party and to avoid an awkward encounter he chose not to go.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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