what's funnier than hell? heaven

thumb_up thumb_down -58

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question; feminists can't change anything.

thumb_up thumb_down -92

Roses are Red And sometimes yellow My mother is mellow I have terminal cancer. I also fisted my grandpa's anus last night

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A blonde walks into a bar. She is rushed to the hospital and treated for a broken nose and a busted lip. She now has a deformed nose.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the difference between a jew, a muslim and a christian. They follow different belief systems

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's big, yellow and if it fell from a tree it would kill you? A JCB!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Mcfly: Doc! i have to tell you about the future! Doc: Ok.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

If you're head weren't attached to your shoulders... you'd be dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why is it pointless to brutally kill and dismember a Japanese man? You'd be satisfying his sexual fetish.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Dancing Potatoe!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's worse than smelly feet? Smelly hands.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

yo mama is so fat that when she stepped on the scale she exclaimed "wow, i'm overweight" she then proceeded to eat a cupcake to mask her pain.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Two robots walk into a bar, just kidding, they have Polio.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do a turtle and a tree have in common? They both can fly except for the turtle............and the tree

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A dog run after a squirrel. the pursuit didn't last long the squirrel climb a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house... Knock knock Who's there? The Chincken

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven hundred and eighty nine.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why is the baby on fire? Because there was a gas leak at the day care facility. It would have been a terrible tragedy had a heroic babysitter not come to the rescue.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How many apples come from trees? None, not a single one of em'

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Y did the chicken cross the rode to/ get away from KFC

thumb_up thumb_down +1

men's rights activists

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops