Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What's worse than having a FUPA? The Holocaust

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roses are black, violets are black, im dead.

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1: Why did Suzie have no arms and no legs? 2: Why? 1: Knock Knock? 2: Who's there? 1: Not Suzie

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I scream You scream The police come It's awkward.

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women leaving the kitchen

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Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

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This episode featuring an all new nonspeaking character, who never goes on screen.

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why was the water bottle empty? because bob drank it. stupid bob...

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Where did Sally go during the explosion? Everywhere.

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Two muffins are in an oven. They turn out delicious.

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Q: What's worse than 5,000,000 African Americans being killed? A: 1 White person being killed

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hey justin

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I can't see my forehead

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A: Ask me if I'm a tree! B: Are you a tree? A: No.

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A man was driving down the road and was swerving, a cop stops him and asks him to walk in a straight line, believing him to be drunk. The man replies "I can't, I've been blind since I was a child."

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Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if he tore his ACL last week trying out for wood chucking nationals? A: Woodchucks don't possess the ability to chuck wood, nor do they have ACLs.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Zebras.

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Regarding the "I will violate you, your children and your parent if you thumb me red" comment belo. I had a green thumb, I know because I gave it to myself because I am awesome... Now I got none... I person that this this, I cannot wait to X-mas where I will be violating them all, tell them, and as thus remind you that this was their Christmas present from you... Your friendly r*pist neighborhood Moral Man: Yes, I am your neigbor... I cant wait for slot number 24 on my christmas calendar... There is a picture of you and your family... Yummy!

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Top Gear USA

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MILEY CYRUS: ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE ME! ME: O GOD CALLED HE SAID YOUR A HOE TO

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Person 1: Ask me if I'm a truck? Person 2: Are you a truck? Person 1: No.

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Why was 10 afraid of 9? Because 9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1...Kaboom!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow You were probably expecting a poem or something but no this is just a gardening fact

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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