Never again, I have all the intel I need on you, you cost me a fucking eye, you think I would let go of that so easily? It hurts day and night, I have not slept in days, my fucking eyelid is torn right off, and while I use a fucking excuse for an eyepatch, I still have not gotten used to sleep without being able to shut both my eyes, I have a constant fever, you miss me, you are directly responsible for scaring my wife and fucking over my face. Deal with it, cry harder asshole. Moral: You step on my foot, I break off yours, you cost me an eye, you do not know whats waiting in line for you, I am going to make you beg me to let you die! Did you think I would warm up as quickly to something as irresponsible as you? And we do not know yet if you did this on purpose, we do not even live in the same fucking country, and I get assholes assaulting me again! What the hell have you done? If my wife had been here I would have been dead! Moral: I hope you got pets, I will skin them alive in front of your face!

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roses are red violets are blue start sucking my dick or ill kill you

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Why did Jimmy go to a Barbershop for the first time? He needed a haircut, and the salon next to his house was closed because of financial problems

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why did the blind kid cross the road... because he was sick of being blind

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Why was the All-black Basketball team disqualified? Because they all died in a hotel fire.

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why couldn't three people walk? they were a part of the human centipede.

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you're a loser >>>>>>>>>>>

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What happens when batman jumps off the top of a building? His fake wings fails and he dies upon impact of the ground.

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despite popular opinion to the contrary you shouldn't eat mercury.

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what did reed read? the most recent anti-joke

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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Clyde: Hey John! :D John: Hey clyde! :D Clyde: :D! John: :D! Clyde: :D, :), :|, :(, D'X John: ? hey man, are you ok? Wtf is going on with you? Clyde: Man, it's not me... :'(... It's you... It's your... Your... John: My what? Clyde: YOUR FACE!!!! D'X

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Roses are red Violets are violet Don't know why people are saying they're blue

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Why couldn't the Asian couple have a white baby? Because two Wongs were mixed up in the paperwork so as a result the other Wong family ended up getting the child.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in every apple.

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how do you kill an African baby ? put it in the microwave for roughly 45 minutes

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What did one Stoner say to the other? "I'm hungry, let's order pizza."

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What do you call a Muslim flying an airplane? A pilot, what did you think it was? F**king Racist dumbass

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rodents are bed violents are glue i have lysdexia and short attention spa

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What's the most common pickup line in a gay bar? "Hi, may I buy you a drink?"

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what did the boy with dyslexia get for his birthday? bad grades

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"Jim would you like to share what you've written?" says rehab counselor "Roses are red, Violets are blue, Heroin is bad, I see sound."

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how do you stop a baby crying hit it with a brick.

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What do you think 3 black men want when the come and knock on your car window? They just want directions.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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