Two muffins are in an oven. They turn out delicious.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm Scizophrenic And so am I.

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Scientific fact: If you took all the veins from your body and laid them end to end, you would die.

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What do you call 200 black men jumping from a plane? Night

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Roses are smiling, violets are trying to kill me. DId I mention I'm a paranoid schizophrenic?

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A bear walked into a bar, unfortunately there were no survivors.

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I thought I was a bird and I could fly Gravity painfully reminded me I was only a human

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What is yellow, and cannot swim? A School Bus.

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? a lot.

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What happend to the man who walked into a forrest? He got raped by a giant vicious mutant spider

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A Mexican and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have a couple drinks. Then they leave because it turns out that wasn't the bar they were meeting the Jew at.

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Why didn't the monkey fall out of the tree when someone threw a refrigerator at it? Because it was already lying on the floor dying of AIDS.

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A: my name is Joe and i like onion B: ok

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What did Hitler get for Christmas? Some shoelaces for his shoes so he could tie his little knotsies.

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a man is stranded on a deserted island with no food, water or clothing and he comes upon a magical genie lamp, a genie pops out and tells him that he has three wishes, the man asks for food,water, and clothing, the genie says "of course" the man was elated but then the genie says " but i'm afraid to tell you that genies don't exist and your hallucinating from your harsh living conditions...i'm sorry" the man lived two more weeks before dying slowly...

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What is the difference between a baby and a rat? I don't have a rat in a cage

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Bin Laden: dang, these pizza guys are so late, this pizza better be free! door: Ring ring ring.. Bin Laden: yes its finally here!

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a red boat and a blue boat collided all the survivors still have nightmares to this day

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What's green, long, and covered in forks? Grass. I lied about the forks.

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What do you do with a dog with no legs? Take it for a drag.

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Why did the blind man drown? Because he couldn't swim.

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why did the man walk into the metal pole? because hes blind and suffers from cancer.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One asks the other "Isn't it hot in here?" To which the other replies, "Holy ****, a talking muffin!"

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The teacher asked: If you have two apples, and I give you two, how many do you have now? FOUR said the student.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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