A man walks into a bar and sees an attractive blonde. He is afraid of talking to her so he goes home and masterbates himself to sleep.

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Last night I had the strangest dream. I was eating a big marshmallow and when I woke up this morning I had appendicitus

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What did the farmer say when he finally found his tractor? 'Where's my tractor?'

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Q: What's up? A: Definitely not a plane, due to an unfortunate hijacking and terror bombing shortly after departure. There were no survivors.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Q:Why was 6 afraid of seven? A:Because seven ate (eight) nine

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People tell me im insane. Its all a conspiracy.

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A man walks into a bar and poops his pants. He left because of the embarrassment.

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A man with ADD walks into a bar, what did he say? Look a squirrel!!!

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A giraffe walks into a bar and the bar tender asks "Why the long face?!" to witch he replied " I've just been mugged outside.".

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A young woman goes to a wild, infamous nightclub, all alone. She arrives safely at home a few hours later.

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"The hills are alive..." Impossible, hills can never be alive.

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A guy who plays shooting games acquires an assault rifle but he doesn't kill anyone, why? Because he was a nice and peaceful man who loves his wife.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chu... Forget this, this is overused.

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A guy walks into the bar and orders a coke with some ice and some peanuts. It cost a total of $4.00 plus tax. He gave the bartender $5.00 and told him to keep the change. He drank the soda pop and burped loudly and left the bar and forgot his peanuts.

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No.

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What couldn't the stereotypical pirate get into the movie? Well, considering that the stereotypical pirate existed in the sixteenth to eightteenth centuries and the first motion picture wasn't made until the mid to late nineteenth century, also the technology for time travel does not exist nor has it ever, I would have to derive that he was not let in due to the fact that there was no way for him to ever exist at the same time that a movie would have been playing.

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"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "No."

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who should be competing in the paralympics? Brent the retard!

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Blonde hair is the result of having two recessive alleles for hair color in your genotype. There is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

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what starts with b and ends with itch pickle

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

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What color is the grass on Bob's lawn? Bob lives in a apartment.

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Hickory dickory dock, The mouse ran up the clock, Barbara called the exterminator, Who killed all 10 of them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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