What did the monkey say to the other monkey Monkey can't talk

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what's yellow, dirty, and looks like a potato? a potato

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Wanna hear the orphan joke knock knock who's there? not you parents

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What do you get when you cross a chicken with a road? To get to the other side.

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Why did the cop shoot his 4 year old son? Because the little bitch ate his leftovers

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what do you get when you see jonny cry-a monkey lol

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Q: What is tall, white, and shaped like a house? A: a tall white man, if you break his limbs and twist them into the rectangular shape of a house.

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Whats green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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A Mexican and a black guy are in a car. Who's driving? The Mexican.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a banana? Banana's don't hijack planes.

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Why'd the aborted fetus cross the road? 9/11

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Why do women love Panera Bread? They think it's healthy.

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A Muslim boards a plane with his three sons. Everything goes well, because most on the plane are racially tolerant.

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Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

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whats black and white? a zebra

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Why was the black person sent to the back of the bus? All of the front and middle seats were taken.

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What did the American WWII soldier say to the Feudal-era samurai? Nothing, because the two lived on completely different continents and in completely different time periods.

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Person 1: "Ask me if I'm a rock." Person 2: "Are you a rock?" Person 1: "No."

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How do you kill a baby quickly? The better question is why kill a baby quickly?

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was a woman

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Roses are red, The grass is greener, Every time i'm with you, I touch my wiener.

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your know what grinds my gears? when I throw my car into park while going 90 on the highway.

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What did Billy Mays eat for breakfast? nothing, he's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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