How many trees does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trees are incapable of screwing light bulbs

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Female Orgasms

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Q: What did the serial rapist say to his best friend? A: You're a good friend

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Two small boys are walking in a schoolyard. One of the boys sits down under a tree looking distraught. The other asks him "Well whats the matter Eddy?" "Every time I walk to my bus-stop in the morning, Jimmy Krugan, pushes me down and takes my money. " The first boy thinks for sec.. "Well here's what you do Ed; go to your Dad's shed and grab a 2X4, paint it bright blue. In the morning, walk to school with it under your jacket and when Jimmy starts in on you give him a good wallop. He wont be bothering you anymore." The following day the boys are in the yard again. Eddy is seen under the tree seeming just as distraught. Confused, the boy asks him.. "Well Ed, did you do what I told you?" "No."

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A sad horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" the horse answers "My wife was just diagnosed with terminal cancer."

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whats worse than 911 nothing you cant beat 911that sucked

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What's the difference between a jew and pizza? A Jew is human and pizza is food.

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Why did the carrot jumped over the fence? It didn't. Carrots do not have the physical ability to jump.

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Whats blue, sticky and glows only during the morning? IDK -Lets go Mets

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Nancy Kerrigan walks into a club

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one day a boy asked a Manican if it had a pulse it didn't

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What happens when you throw a green rock into the Red Sea? It gets Wet.

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knock knock Who's there? Someone who wants to save you from the shitty dinner your lazy wife made.

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WELCOME TO THE SECRET BEYOND THE SIXTH SENSE! 1, Sound 2. sight 3.touch 4.Smell 5.Taste. 6.Balance? :(

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What happens when you walk by two black men? You walk by two black men.

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Why the kid can't get off the water? Because your feet is on his head

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Why is Bruce Wayne named Batman and Tim Drake named Robin? They wanted to hunt bats and robins whenever someone does something bad.

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My mother forgot to make me a sandwich today.

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Beethoven! It is true? Did you really lose your hearing? Yes.

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How do you know when a bag of chips is stale? It is past the expiration date.

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How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? ...get back in the kitchen, I'm hungry

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What do you call a Mexican that sails a ship? A sailor

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womans having rights.

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What's the difference between Neal Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neal Armstrong was the first man to WALK on the MOON, while Michael Jackson enjoyed touching young boys.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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