A man walked into the woods with alzheimers......pancakes

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Why did the shark eat the girl? Because she was ugly

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One day, a woman was walking down an alleyway at midnight She reached the end of the alley and realised that it was a dead end, as there was a brick wall, so she turned around and headed on back home.

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What happens when you throw a red rock into a blue ocean. The rock gets wet.

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what did the blind orphan with no legs get for christmas? cancer.

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What's long, hard, and filled with semen? A submarine

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What's tastier than a dead baby? An orphaned dead baby.

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Why did the boy fart on his sister? Because he was sitting on her, and happened to pass gas.

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What did the poor boy get for Christmas? Orphaned.

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Q: What do you get when you cross a chimpanzee and a zebra. A: A crossover between a chimpanzee and a zebra, mixed together.

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what has 2 legs and red all over half a cat.

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What do you get when you combine a cat and a dog? A Cog

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What's funny? At the exact moment you read this, someone is suffering from domestic abuse.

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What do you get when you cross a rhino and a whale? Comment your answer:

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What has one head, three eyes and seven legs? A cow with a tri-pod rammed up it's arse. The third eye is a result of a birth defect.

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What do you call a dancing panda bear? I'm not sure, but panda bears are pretty big, so the possibility of them dancing is highly unlikely.

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Why did the boy jump in the van? Because his parents had just been in a terrible car accident.... There where 2 fatalities.

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender said "why the long face?" The horse then panicked, and feeling threatened, it kicked the bartender with its hind legs and galloped out of the bar. A civilian took immediate control of the situation and dialed the number for animal control, who arrived shortly and tranquilized the deer and put it back in its natural habitat. Don't worry, that didn't actually happen

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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Two gay guys go into a bedroom, in different houses at different times.

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Chuck Norris can watch TV.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing chair ? Gravity.

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Question: why did the pilot crash the plane? Answer: because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Why did the man jump out of the plane? Because the plane was losing fuel fast so he grabbed a parachute and went for it and realized that was the only one left so everyone died a horrible death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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