A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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Why did the cat land on it's back.... because its dead .......

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Did you hear about the Mexican boy scout that helped that old lady cross the border.

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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Why did the taxi driver kill the blond? He didn't. It's illegal to murder people in most countries.

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Whats black, white, and red all over? A severely beaten and bruised man who was found un conscience and robbed in a dark parking lot behind Dennys at 2 o'clock in the morning.

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Why did the guy lie down? He was dead.

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What's worse than a bee sting? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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Whats the difference between a red cup and a blue cup. Ones red and the other is blue.

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why was the man's arm bleeding? Because he just got shot in the arm...

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Your mom is so old, that she should probably up her B-12 intake to avoid sickness.

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What did the statue say to the other statue? stat-you?

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to hit with a bat and the others a watermelon

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How did the rock cross the road? It didn't cause it's a rock.

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A man gets hit by a car. His family is sad and plans a funeral.

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Two muffins were in an oven. One muffin said "Wow, its hot in here." The other muffin said "Oh my gosh a talking muffin!" The house burnt down because the oven created a fire.

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whats brown and sticky? whatever is coming from your pants

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how long does it take a black woman to shit? 3 to 5 minutes depending on the food she ingested earlier that day

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dear GIRLS, roses are red violets are blue faces like yours belong in the zoo don't be mad i will be there too not in the cage but laughing at u .

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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why did the one armed, bearded man, in a wheelchair go to the mall ? He wished to purchase yogurt and Tiger woods 2007 for the ps2

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Why did the black man rob the russian guy? He didn't. He was too scared.

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Why did little Susie fall off the swing? Because she fell out the window and landed in soot.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Nothing, the holocaust was a tragic event in human history.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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