Why did the kid fail? He procrastinated.

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Holocaust. I was too lazy to make it complete, so enjoy the punchline and comment your own question. It will probably be funnier.

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In my country we don't swim, we drown.

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A. I have a really funny knock knock joke to tell you! You start. B. Knock knock A. Who's there? B. ....

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How did the snail travel around the world without any help from a transportation device? Sadly, it didn't. The snail is incapable of this kind of long distance travel due to it's small size, lack of speed and short lifespan.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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Your mother is so fat that she wears xxxL clothing

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Rebecca Black's new album.

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why did the bear fall out of the tree? He died. Why did the raccoon fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the bear.

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Your momma's so fat, people make jokes about her.

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How do you confuse Hellen Keller? You do not, as she is blind and deaf, and partaking in doing so would be the morally wrong thing to do.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, why am i even talking to you?

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what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

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Why couldn't Jenny speak right? Cause she had autism.

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i got 99 problems.... and aids is one

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What stops a fully black english man from marrying a fully chinese women, the language barrier of course!

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What do you call a white man who murdered his whole family? -a murder What do you call a black man who raped five women? -a rapest What do you call a Mexican with a leaf blower -a hardworking legal immigrant working twelve hours seven days a week to support his wife and three children.

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Whats long and hard and women like to suck on them? A popsicle or long lollipop

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had Gonorrhea.

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Why did the old man cry? Because he had just witnessed his wife die.

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Why can't a cat fly Because it doesn't have wings.

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what is orange and sounds like a parrot a carrot

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Why can't black people get sunburned? Natural selection allowed ancient Africans to develop a darker skin shade that would counter strong UV rays.

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Roses are red, My name is Dave, This joke is pointless, microwave.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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