What's worse than finding an apple in your wo- wait, what?!

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A 2 lb ball and a 10 lb ball are dropped at the same time. Which hits the ground first? They both hit the ground first. Go ahead and try it. Go on. Now. If you are still reading you really want to know if anything else is going to happen. Well nothing exciting. Just a potato. 0 looks like a potato

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Why didn't the little boy have a good time at his birthday party? Because his friends lit him on fire.

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Your momma's so fat: She feels uncomfortable in public due to current trends in ideal body shape and aesthetics of beauty.

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yo mamma's so fat, when she jumped into the ocean, everyone yelled "tsunami!".

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TEST! ACTUALLY READ THIS! 1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. 2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. 3. The King of the Forest is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend except one. Which animal does not attend? The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there. This tests your memory. 4. There is a river you must cross but it is inhabited by crocodiles. How do you manage it? You swim across. All the crocodiles are attending the animal conference.

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Who wants $300? Me too.

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How do you kill a mocking bird. Shoot it.

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Why did the little boy fall out the window? A child molester pushed him.

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A man took a crap. . . . It felt amazing

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He was perfectly happy where he was.

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why did the chicken cross the road? i don;t know, that's why i was asking you

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Roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, violets are blue, get out of the garden it's time for lunch.

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You've heard of take your child to work day, but I bet you haven't heard of 9/11- take your plane to work day

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Why did the man eat a human heart? Because he was part of a dangerous, religious cult.

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Why was little Johnny crying? He is regularly raped by his father.

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Why did the woman stop jogging? She got mauled by a bear.

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Q:How many pieces of paper can one tree make? A:Trees cannot make paper, people make paper from trees. So the answer is none, a tree can't make any paper whatsoever.

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Why a blonde woman eat vegetables? Because she is a vegetarian.

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Why is limety snicket a kike pussy? cuz will ferrell shit in his asshole

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he's human.

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A red and blue penguin are taking showers. The red penguin can't find the soap so he yells down the hall to the blue penguin "Hey, where is my soap?" The blue penguin replies, "What do I look like a typewriter?"

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A man walks into a bar Ouch

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You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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