Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No, he hasn't either

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Q: Why isn't Michael Jordan able to jump into space with only 1 leap? A: If that were possible, the supposedly absolute laws of physics would've been irreversibly violated to the full extent that the future of science would be in trouble and the future of some already mentally-unstable people would've been deeply jeopardized to a state that they couldn't naturally recover from.

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Yo momma is so poor when she went to the bank the teller was like " you have no money."

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Doctor, my husband tells me he doesn't like my figure .... That's irrelevant now, you've contracted a rare blood disease and will be dead within a month.

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How do you get rid of a stalker? You throw a fridge at them!

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what did the banana say to the apple i dont know because bananas dont talk

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Hitler. lol, sucks.

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Two biscuits were sitting in an oven. One says to the other hows it going, the other says nothing because he knows that biscuits can't talk.

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Why did the Jew hate bananas? He was deathly allergic to them.

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Why couldn't little Johnny play sports like the rest of the kids? He was diagnosed with polio at the age of 3 and has limited use of his legs.

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Say you are caught in a net with 10 other people in said net at a construction site. A pair of scissors are right next to you and everyone said to use the scissors. But instead of using the scissors, you use your teeth in risk of a broken tooth.

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What's the worst part about being drunk? Your child.

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THER ONCE WAS A jueny WITH A TEN FOOT WENNY AND HE WENT TO SHOW IT TO THE LADY NEXT DOOR SHE THOUGHT IT WAS A SNKE SO SHE HIT IT WITH A RAKE AND NOW ITS ONLY FIVE FOOT FOUR!

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A man and a women have a conversation. Man: what's 2 + 2 Woman: four. Man: you're correct.

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What's worse then breaking your xbox? Going on a 24 kill streak and having itchy balls.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Refrigerator

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Where did little Annie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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how did hitler lure the jews onto trains to concentration camps? he told them he hid a penny in one of the cars

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What has lips and smells like a fish? A fish.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Japan.

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What did the brick say to the face? Nothing bricks don't talk.

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Q: Jeff has 10 cookies, He eats 9. Now what does he have? A: Diabetes, Jeff has diabetes.

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A black man, a Mexican man, and an Asian man all walked into a bar. They proceeded to have a good time together as they were celebrating their graduation from medical school.

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How do black people vote? They go to their polling place, register, then vote for their candidate on election day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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