Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why'd the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey Why'd the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure Why'd the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? his girlfriend broke up with him so he commited suicide Why'd the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? cuz it was a dumbass

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A dancer walks into a barre

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knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

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Wife: 'what did I put into the washing machine ?' Husband: laundry

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Why didn't JFK Jr. shower before the plane flight? He was in a hurry.

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Richard Gere has a girlfriend called Goldie

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Why did the kid trip over the rock? Because he was diagnosed with serious autism, and might die soon.

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hi

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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Why did the blond woman sell her water skis? She was in a horrible accident and will never walk again.

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what did the scientist say in Siberia? burrrrrrrrrrilium

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knock knock Person A: who's there Person A: oh shit that was me

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Two pen state administrators walk into a butt

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black people

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What did santa claus get the boy with cancer for christmas? Nothing. Santa is not real and thus incapable of granting christmas wishes.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Japan.

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How do you make a girl wet? Throw her in the pool

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How do you cheat your friend up Throw a BRIC at her face.

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Eat My Food!!! Joking I dont have any food

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Your time.

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My cat used to be afraid of storms. But now it's dead.

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Why was the girl stupid? Because she had blonde hair.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could walk into the mall and kill hundreds of innocent lives and leave thousands wounded.

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what is pink and shaped like a banana? A pink banana.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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