Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have no idea how to rhyme, I like tacos

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Why does beonce say to the left, to the left. she doesnt she sings it.

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Thanks, I admire your sincerity, and I am happy to see that I got a lot more in common with you, than with well, my nerdy and geeky friends, which are not reading this here and now unless they are going against their orders and messing up their own work schedule. I just want you to know that I have fallen in love with you Nero, and if that is a problem for you, please let me know ASAP.

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What do you call two Japanese men digging through rubble? Worried family members of missing relatives due to the recent devastating tragedy in the island nation of Japan.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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why couldn't Hellen Keller scream when she fell of a building? She was wearing mittens.

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Rose's are red, violet's are blue. Rose's die and viloets are more purple.

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Q: why couldn't the pirate boy get into the movie? A: the movie was rated R and the pirate boy was only 14 years old, and he didn't have any adult supervision, which prevented him from entering the movie.

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Why did the paraplegic die in a fire? He couldn't get down the stairs.

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What's the difference between a black man and a white man? Their skin color.

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A young farmers cow died in an oil burning, The farmer then said to his son; you get the milk ill get the shovel

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Why did the fat kid break his leg? He got hit by a car

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What's the difference between a black man and and a bag of crap? A lot, but mostly the bag

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how do you make a baby float take you foot of its head

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A man in a car turned left at the end of his road. Then he proceeded .1 miles and turned left again, as his GPS instructed him.

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What does the redhead miss most at a party? Her father. He was in a car accident when she was young.

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What crime does a tree commit in order to be sent to prison? Trees on.

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy! But iI'm on bath salts and your face looks tasty!

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What did the rock say to the other rock? It didnt

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How do you make a baby cry Throw a brick at its face

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Where's Waldo? In rehab. Waldo is in rehab.

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2 black guys, a colombian guy and a white girl are sitting at a bar. They are friends.

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Three Jews walk into a bar... I lied, it was a gas chamber.

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A man with two broken legs walks into a bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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