A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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What did the virgin say to the car salesmen? Hello, I'm really interested in buying a car today.

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What's the same between a plum and a rabbit? They are both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Whats big, yellow and red? a school bus with a bunch of dead children.

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Knock knock? Who is there? Nobody. Those were noises coming from your head.

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Knock Knock Who's there? A mormon *slam*

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Hey, austin, what are you doing?

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A doctor, a farmer, and a blonde walk into a bar. The doctor orders red wine because he knows it's good for the heart. The farmer orders a Piña Colada because he likes fruit. The two men wait eagerly to what the blonde is about to order. The blonde opens her purse and says "Damn it, I can't find my credit card." Suddenly, a handsome young gentleman walks up to her says "Don't worry miss, I'll buy a drink for you. What are you having?" The blonde looks up and says "Don't worry? I just lost my credit card!" In a fit a of anger, the blonde storms out the bar and doesn't order anything.

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Why isn't the dog a rebublican? Because it's a dog.

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A Horse walks into a bar. Bartender:why the long face? Horse:I have terminal cancer.

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Why did the man get go to sleep? He got hit in the face with a hammer.

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Why did the little girl fall to death? Because pigs can't fly. It's impossible.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because 2.5 million children in the world are suffering from HIV/AIDs.

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hi, my name is zack, i have a boner from the girl to my right(;

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What do u get when u lick chicken Answer- Your a retard if you did not figure it out it is obviously chicken taste DERP!

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"Hey ask me if i'm fat" "Are you fat" "Leave me alone"

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a boy walked into a pet store to get his bird some food. they were all out. the bird died.

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How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? depends on how thin you can slice them.

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What did the black father get his child for Christmas? A Yo-Yo. Actually, never-mind, he doesn't know his father.

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Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Who Who who? Hoodini

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What did Abe Lincoln say before he gave the Gettysburg Address? No one knows, its not documented.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? None, because feminists can't change anything

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What do a ginger kid get for christmas ? it dusen't matter... gingers don't have souls.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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