whats worse than someone on the phone during a movie? your mother queefing on your bowl of cheerios

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What do u call a black guy that sell drugs? A nigga

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A white man and woman are married and the wife becomes pregnant. However, the wife has been having an affair with an African American man. The baby turns out to be white and so the woman was very fortunate or else the husband would have figured it out for sure.

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Why was the poor man poor? Because he doesnt make money

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knock knock your gay

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Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the salamander, macaroni and cheese.

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I like the Tsarnaev brothers. They ran the Boston marathon and had a BLAST!

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What has 4 eyes and can't see. Blind siamese twins!

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What do you call a guy who has no experience flying a plane? Suicidal

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A blonde is running for her life and sees a sign that says "GO LEFT TO SURVIVE". She goes right and she survives.

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The doctor said to the boy that a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down. He is diabetic.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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what do you call a shitty anti-joke? A shitty anti-joke.

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what did one white man say to the other white man? hello!

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Why don't Batman go to an Ozzy Osbourne concert? Because Batman doesn't exist.

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Girl: I wanna get yo pants. Boy: but im wearing shorts.

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Jesus said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But, John came fifth and won a toaster.

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Wait a moment, I will see what I can do.

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A sheep walks into a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

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Q.Whats funny about death A.You die

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There are three muffins sitting in an oven. The first one says nothing. The second one also says nothing. They're just muffins and muffins can't talk.

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why do jewish people have big noses? because air is free

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees an officer standing on a street corner and a pile of burning rubble behind him. He asks the officer what happened and he replies "A bomb fell from the sky and annihilated the city orphanage. 214 children were killed and two nearby families of 3 and 6 were severely injured and are now in the hospital with no hope of survival." The man was found dead later that week with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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