How many babies does it take to paint a wall? I don't know it depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why did the black guy get testicular cancer? because he put his balls in the microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

White men's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's green and black? Grass with wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

You know what's sad about the Special Olympics? Even of you win, your still retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did god make asians? I dont know. Yah, me niether

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Shut the cork up!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats green and has wheels? A green honda

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the teacher ask her student about the test? Because she was in the hospital the day of the test because her husband was hit by a rail road spike and died but she was so devoted to her job she wanted to know.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I am a n1gger.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q. How do you drowned a blond A. Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of a pool

thumb_up thumb_down -10

One day, a mother was speaking with her daughters. "Mommy," the first one said, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we brought you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second daughter said, "Why did you name me Rose?" ""Because when we brought you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMBWWAAAAGGGH!" the last daughter cried. She was born with severe special needs and is incapable of coherent speech.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the bi-polar girl do when she found our her ex-boyfriend was living with another woman? Nothing; she was happy for their new relationship and realized life moves on, in addition to taking the appropriate amount of medicine as directed by her doctor for her condition.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why did stacey marry bally because she loves him

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A train conducter conducts at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph, if he goes under 2 bridges and over 3 hills what did the conductors mother have for dinner that night. Nothing she was raped then promptly murdered.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? A watermelon is edible.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A man walks into a bar and says give me a 84 bourbon, when he gets it he spits it out and says this is no 84 bourbon this is a 74 scotch, So he asks for a 68 brandy , when he gets it he spits it out again in disgust saying this isn't a 68 brandy this is a 87 whiskey!, than the old man next to him says here try this, the man says what is it?, the old man just says try it, so the man does, he spits it out and shouts this is urine!, the old man says correct, now tell me how old i am.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

If an ice cream van goes out of business, who drove the Jeep into the furniture store? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Hit by a bus Why did the bus driver drop his coffee? He hit the boy

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Lukas: can i have a cigarette? Scott: i dont know can you? lukas: may i? Scott: NO

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What is black and white and red all over the news paper of someone with tuberculosis

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a blonde falling off a cliff? Screwed.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops