I don't always drink beer but when I do, I viciously beat my wife and children.

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One says "boy it sure is hot in here." The other says,"yeah like 350-375"

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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How do you get Vladamir Putin to smile? You tickle him.

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What's a word that describes someone annoying, black, starts with an N and ends with a R? Nagger

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven looked angry and had a gun.

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why did billy fall on the sidewalk? he got stabbed

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what do you call a homeless man? poor.

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What did OJ Simpson say to the blonde? "Don't worry, I'm not going to murder you"

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when the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's a black eye.

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You have three biscuits. Your friend eats two. How many biscuits do you have? A: 3 Your friend is bulemic so he throws them both up, so you still have them.

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A man is hungry so he gets on his coat and shouts : "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!". His wife says not to because the police say the rapist 'Eggman' is out again. He says he will be very careful. On his way he hears 'They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggmen-" and the man shouts: "AND I AM THE WAlRUS, SO GET THE HECK OUTTA MY FACE OR I WILL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" The Eggman and the man found two more people from Liverpool and formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band broke up.

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when i yell your name i probably want your attention :) S.H.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a registered six affender.

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A horse walked into a bar and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The horse then replied, "Well my wife is dying of cancer, my mother is a drug addict, and my two kids are in the hospital for 3rd degree burns."

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What does a black kid get from Christmas? a blunt

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Your mamas so stupid, her IQ is lower than the average person of her age group.

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Mack: Hello Jonathan: Hi Mack: My name is Mack, what's your name? Jonathan: My name is Billy Mack: You liar! I'm reading this post at anti-joke.com and whenever you reply, your name shows Johnathan! Johnathan: Well Mack, I guess you broke the 4th wall. By the way, this joke is over in 3, 2, 1...

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I dont hate you Lets just say if you were on fire and i had water id drink it

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I dream of a day when chickens won't be questioned about their actions

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Whats red and black and has 8 legs? 4 dead african babies.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him he ain't gonna come.

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There was a deaf guy who heard a mute guy tell someone that a blind guy saw a guy with no legs win the marathon

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What did John F. Kennedy say to Kurt Cobain? Nothing. They never met.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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