Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

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Barack Obama, George W. Bush and Dick Cheney are in a room, what are they doing? A: Breathing

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A brunette, a blond and a red-head decide to go swimming in a lake. To prepare, they go shopping together to get some new bikinis. When they get to the shop they are pleased to find that the bikinis are on sale and they get them 50% off. They drive with their new swimwear to the lake and get changed in the changing room. When they get out they notice that it is quite cold. They decide to go swimming anyway. They notice that the lake is dirty. They decide to go swimming anyway. They notice the lake is actually a spill of oil. They decide to go swimming anyway. They remember that none of them can swim. They decide to go swimming anyway. They jump in. They drown.

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A fat kid walks into a school. RUN KIDS IT'S BOMBER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why was the Nazi killed? for crimes against Humanity

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A.do i have alzheimer's? B.yes A.do i have alzheimer's?

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What do you call a black man that works with out pay? A volunteer

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Knock, knock! Who's there? No one. No one actually knocked on your door because this is just a joke.

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I had my period 3 days ago.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? dead parents.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, ask the chicken.

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What has eight legs and one eye? Two chairs and half a pigs face.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He gets extremely drunk and gets hit by a train.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Roses are red, Violets are too. You're bleeding out, I stabbed you.

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How do you get your clock to stop ticking? Hit it with a sledge hammer.

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OH MY LUMPIN GOD!

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A man walked into a bar, he then fell to the ground screaming in pain.

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A Mayor accidently killed one of the citizens of his town through dangerous driving. He could not be charged with murder, as it was an accident, but there was an uproar, and he was humiliated beyond question and forced out of office straight away. Even his family rejected him, owing to the fact that the unfortunate citizen he struck was his son's girlfriend.

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What's worse than finding a repeated joke on Anti-Joke? Your family being massacred in front of your eyes.

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Why did spock look in the toilet he was concerned with his poop

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My gifts to my gf included: A diamond ring, a sports car, a house in malibu, a new credit card, a private jet, but most importantly, a Refrigerator.

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Asian NASCAR.

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What did the Turkey say on Thanksgiving? Gobble gobble.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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