Who were the fastest readers of all time? The victims of 9/11. They went through over 87 stories in less than 2 1/2 minutes.

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Why was timmy having trouble with his homework? Because lobotomies were a forced practice in the 1950's.

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A man penetrates another man.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, monkey do.

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what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

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If life give you lemons, throw them at people.

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whats worse than getting a fail on your math test? Getting shot.

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What lives underground? Grandpa

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Roses are Purple Chickens are gray I'm color blind You have cancer I'll see you in hell Ba bye now

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Whats white and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator

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Q: Why did the singer stop singing? A: Someone threw a car at her face.

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Whats fun about having sex with twenty six year olds? Theres twenty of them

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Yo momma is so fat that her cholesterol level is above 240 mg/dL and should highly consider a vegan diet if she wishes to improve.

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Why was the kindergarten teacher crying? a child had just choked to death

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Three men of varying ethnic backgrounds jump off a building and yell different things as they fall to their death. They were all very good friends and neglected to have had a trip sitter watch them take hallucinogenics. The group of school children below the building are traumatized for a good portion of their lives.

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"What dosen't kill you makes you stronger" Except losing your arms.

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What do you call a car that is green? A Green Car.

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Why did the bald man die? Cancer.

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what did charlie sheen do when his ex wife insulted him? he horribly abused her

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Whats red and is bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Me.

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Why didn't the lawyer submit the car accident he endured to his local courthouse? He was dying of internal brain damage from the shards of glass lodged in his brain from flying through the windshield.

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Hitler was in a shampoo advert that everyone bought Now people must be dying to take a shower

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my shift key is broken1

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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