Bob: Why did the chicken cross the road? Angus: To get to the other side... Bob: No. Chickens are unaware of the dangers of the road, and it was ignorant of the oncoming traffic during it's aimless wandering.

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What's the difference between a horse and a house? 1 letter.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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If Dwayne the Rock Johnson was short who would he look like? Dwayne the Rock Johnson.

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A whole 'nother.

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Why did the girl scream in terror? Because her parents are being murdered.

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My friends are like trampolines I have none

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Look, gullible is written in the sky! The man looks up and there it is.

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"Why can't you hear pterodactyl when it goes to the bathroom?" "Because the pee is silent?" "No, because they are dead, you idiot."

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What do an octopus and a cat have in common? They are both multicellular organisms that are living creatures, and therefore are both sentient and can perform simple tasks and make simple decisions.

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What did the dog say to his own poop? You gonna eat that?

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Who spends too much time on Anti-Joke? ...

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Three blind men walk into a bar, and, no... wait, sorry just one; so one blind man walked into a bar, and... uh, okay, so it was actually more of a small post. This is pretty much just a plausible, yet unfortunate event. My bad.

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whats worse then being married to your dog eating your dog out

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At the Asthma hotline. Caller: Aahhh aahhh *gasp* *gasp* I need you... Woman: *slams phone* DAMN I WISH THESE PERVERTS WOULD STOP CALLING!

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sandwich. roller coaster. brain sprout. cholera, meander. time. rivet.porcupine. mayonaise. frying. x-ray forever.

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What did the atheist say to the jew. Well first they had a long discussion about religion and the jew was actually made an atheist. Truly the work of God.

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Knock Knock Who's there? (Pause) Who's there? Hello? Bloody kids

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FATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLE FATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLEFATPEOPLETATPEOPLEF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A man walks into a bar and takes a seat at the bar stool. He then proceeds to look over and said a man in a suit and tie open up the window , jumps, and begins to float in mid air. In amazement he approaches the man. He says " That's amazing! How do you do that?" The man in the suit and tie replies "Drink this liquid and you will be able to fly." The man with excitement quickly rushes to the window, opens it, and suddenly falls to his death. The bartender says to the man with the suit and tie " Superman, you're a real dick when your drunk."

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Yes.

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Why did the girl commit suicide? She got raped

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Q: What did the donkey say to the man? A: "Hello there, sir." it was later discovered the man was tripping on the hallucinogen LSD. Later on the man plummeted to his death after being convinced that he was a pterodactyl, and jumping off of a cliff.

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Your momma's so fat she has diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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