Why did the girl eat a sandwich? because she was thirsty

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Did you hear the one about the guy who couldn't tell any funny jokes? He went to Anti Joke and posted 1000's.

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how many poeple does it take to change a light bulb? you spelled people wrong.

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Why can't Anne Frank drive? Because she's dead.

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Knock Knock! Well come on in!

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besides saying "Oh, Yeah" and punching down walls, what does the kool-aid man do? drink cool aid

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A man walks into a music store and hears dubstep playing in the background and he says, "Ugh! I hate dubstep!" Suddenly the clerk gets extremely offended and says, "Haters gonna be gay!" The man chuckles at the clerk's remark and shakes his head. "No no no silly," He said. "Haters gonna not be deaf." He says shaking his head as he walks out. The clerk tries to elaborate on what the man meant, but he realizes he cannot hear his thoughts.

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What do you call a middle-eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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You know you're drunk when you've spend a significant amount of time consuming alcohol.

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Q:What did the cat say to the dog? A: Meow

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I like to rape children, then kill them, eat them and defecate them into a toilet

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Q: What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Why did the carrot jumped over the fence? It didn't. Carrots do not have the physical ability to jump.

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Why did the dog eat poop?

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When life hands you lemons... do not squeeze them, for juice may squirt into your eye, causing severe pain.

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A man walks into a bar. It turns out he's an alcoholic, and he goes home and beats his wife.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Orange. Orange who? The orange that can talk and knock on doors.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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A bomb went off in japan where did sally go Everywhere

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Diarrhea

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How do you get a black guy to learn how to read? Find a stolen book and tell them that it's the recipe for the spices in fried chicken.

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Q: Why did Megan Fox cross the road? A: Because she was running from a giant Decepticon!!! Why else!!!???

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Q: What do you call a pakistani that practices medice? A: Doctor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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