What's the difference between a man and a woman? The latter has two additional letters added to the beginning.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Last night I had consensual sex with my long term girlfriend in the missionary position. It lasted approximately 4 minutes before I ejaculated into the durex extra safe condom.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A baseball player hits a home run and wins the game for his team, when he arrives back home expecting to see his mother and father, he remembers they both died in a car crash several years ago.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Knock knock. Who's there? Hatch. Hatch who? God bless you.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms or legs. Knock knock? Whos there? Not Sally. What did Sally get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call 5 of my friends and 5 of your friends hanging out together? I don't know. I don't have any friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Obama stumbles upon a KKK meeting. All the klansmen shake his hand and respect him because he is the President.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what did the rapist say to the girl? get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Your mother is so white that when she dances, she is off beat a little bit.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

roses are red, violets are blue. sunflowers are yellow, i bet you were expecting something romantic but no this is just gardening facts.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Yo momma so fat that she was diagnosed with obesity and may need medical assistance in the future and will be reliant on you, her child.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a jewish womans boobs? JUBES!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Question:Why did little Susie fall off the swing? Answer:Because she had no arms or legs. Question:What did little Susie get for Christmas? Answer: a bike, and cancer Question: what did little Susie get next Christmas? Answer: nothing, she didn't live that long... Knock knock Who's there Not little Susie

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Your mom is intimately familiar with many mens' penis due to her many years as a successful urologist.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Once upon a time, a handsome prince met a beautiful princess. They both fell in love with each other. They then got married and lived happily ever after.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

WHATS FASTER THAN INTERNET BUSTA RYMES

thumb_up thumb_down

Two horses were discussing their racing records. The first said, "In my whole life I had won ten races." The second horse says, "Well, I've won twelve of those!" A greyhound trotting by chimes in, "Not bragging guys, but in my career, I've won twenty!" "Unbelievable!" exclaimed both horses. "It's a talking dog!"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti-Joke is a silver bullet.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do blondes do when they hurt themselves ? They say "Ow", just like anyone else.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the cow jump over the moon? He cant jump over the moon due to low gravity

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Give one reason for not visiting a hotel. Basil Fawlty is the manager.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I got a terminal disease and I'm going to die in six months. Mom if you're reading this I love you. Take good care of Joey.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What is green and fuzzy and can kill you when it falls out of a tree A pooltable

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops