Who's the best German Chef? Hitler

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? I threw a refrigerator at it

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What do you get when you cross a blond with a plank of wood? A blond with a plank of wood on her head.

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Hickory Dickory Dock, Three mice ran up the clock, the clock struck 1, and the other 2 escaped with minor injuries

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A dog walks into a bar. The bartender was just about to leave, so he takes the dog home with him. He makes found dog signs and posts them around the neighborhood. The owner sees one of the signs and retrieves his pet from the bartender, thanking him for finding his dog.

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Yeah, but why is this honesty so important for you, personal reasons because you are like that, because you consider me a friend? Or because a single lie, could have catastrophical consequences?

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Q:Which do you take out more...trash or recycle? A: Greenery

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LPFTeHEsAS4 You will not be disappointed.

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This is my rifle, this is my gun, one is for shooting, the other is decorative.

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Whats long hard and has seaman? A submarine!

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What is it too late to do? Apologize...

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Yo mama so fat, she should see a doctor to discuss healthier lifestyles.

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What do you call 5,000 black people at the bottom of the ocean? A large quantity of African Americans who drowned to their death in the sea.

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Knock Knock. READ THE DAMN SIGN IT SAYS NO SOLICITORS!!! ... yeah.

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? Me :'(

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I was going to write a joke about how I have alzheimers but than I forgot it

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Have you ever ate a donut? Yes I have. In fact, the donut I ate recently was fairly delicious.

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Roses are brown, violets are brown, someone keeps shitting in my garden

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Why did ned fall out of the tree? Because he was hit by a koala.

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Do you like fish-sticks? Love 'em. You like putting fish-sticks in your mouth? Yeah. What are you, a gay fish?

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What did the Mexican, the European, and the Canadian all have in common? They weren't used in this joke the last time someone posted it on anti-joke.com.

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how do you break up with someone lightly and not hurt their feeling I dont want to hurt your feeling but i hate you

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7

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What is the difference between a rose and a grape? They are both purple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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