Hollywood presents: "HELP US MARIO! THE WORLD IS BEING OVERWHELMED BY KOOPA AND HIS FORCES OF TURTLES!" "What the hell do you want me to do? I am a damn plumber, squish them? Besides they are just turtles" "Oh yeah..." Steven Spielberg: Get bay on this script, at least its much better than the first one.

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Whats worse than 10 dead babies in 1 trashcan? 10 dead trashcans in 1 baby

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What's the difference between me and a dead baby? I'm not dead, or a baby. I am well into my teens and very healthy.

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Do you know the joke about the two guys who went to Paris ? Me neither.

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Who didn't let the gorilla into the ballet? The people who were in charge of that decision.

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Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? It isn't doing anything, sir. It's dead.

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A boy walks into a bar. Because he was under-age, security kicked him out as soon as possible and alerted his parents.

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What do you call a polar bear in the desert? Bobby Marksson.

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Why did the kid fall off the swing? He had no arms.

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how many babies does it take to paint a barn? depends on how hard you can throw them

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I saw a woman get donkey punched in the middle of the street. Nero the clit collector: You know... What is it called when A donkey kinda lifts its front hoove and hits a woman? ...WHAT? DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE STARVE TO DEATH BECAUSE OF YOUR COIN COLLECTION? YOUR STAMPS ARE MURDER! (or something) At least my uh... "Friends" survive... SOMETIIIIIIIIMEEEEEEEEES!!!!!!! ...And then I kill them.

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I'd feel bad for some skinny guy who lived in a very obese family and only got hand me downs.

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What did the man on a business trip to Japan say to his wife on the phone? The nuclear reactor in the next city over is melting down as we speak. If I don't see you again, I love you.

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Jamie Oliver eats a chip

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How do you get a bear out of a tree with cheese? Camembert.

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What's black and white and red all over? A bleeding penguin.

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Why did the dog run away from home? His house burned down and his owners were killed.

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Your mom is so fat she wears large clothes

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Nice story but I wish it would have had a good point like... A moral? Moral: Need a light?

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Why couldn't the black man get a high-paying job? because he lived during the harsh and cruel times of slavery.

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what did Marvin Gay's father say to him before he died? "hey come listen to this 45 real quick"

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he took my chicken i shoot him in the foot and raped his dog

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If omar has 7 apples and his bus is 7 minutes early, what is the mass of the sun? Pi. Partially because the piece of paper couldnt dance with your mother.

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roses are rose, violets are violet, now shut up, you retarded black poet!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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