roses are red, violets are blue, hey reed and steven, we should hang out

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What do you give a black man for his Christmas? A gift that you feel would suit his personality so that he may draw enjoyment from said gift.

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Oh no! I forgot the milk!

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What's the worst way to say you want to break up? Kill her dog.

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An Englishman, Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a pub where they are presented with a situation, the Englishman and Scotsman react appropriately but the Irishman does something foolish.

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What's Mary short for? She's got no legs.

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Six million.

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Why can't Helen Keller have sex? She is dead

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Why did the blond put a condom on her hear? So, she would not get hearing ads.

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Why did the Catholic priest get excommunicated from the church? He couldn't read.

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Ding dong... Knocking hurts.

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What did the blond say to the ginger Stop drop and roll your hairs on fire

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Hey dude when is 4th of July? I don't know.

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Why did the man stay in the basement? Because he was addicted to pornography and it was tearing his family apart. Eventually he was unable to tell the diffidence between fantasy and reality and sexually assaulted his 13 year old niece.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because her family lived in the countryside and her family's income was very far below average and in the time of her miraculous breakthrough, automobiles were for the wealthy families and obviously her family was not wealthy. She wouldn't have been able to drive even if she wasn't blind or def. The economy pretty much hated her and her family.

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Why did the robot cross the road? Because it was a banana.

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What's the difference between a Jewish child and pizza? Pizza does not scream in the oven.

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What's funnier than 24? 25

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What happens if someones forgets to put the 'anti' next to 'joke.' It is taken by someone else and created into an anti Joke.

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your mom is so fat.

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What do u call a gay guy with a long dik Dickgimme a lick

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Whats the diffetance between a river and a waterfall? One is vertical!??

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A marine biologist is captured by a group of violent pirates. After hours of being tortured, the pirates make him walk the plank. As he is pushed on to the plank, they ask him for his one last request. He responds "Kill yourselves." The pirates proceed to stab themselves until they bleed out and the marine biologist is the last man on the boat.

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What did the doctor tell his patient? Unfortunately you have cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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