So a baby seal walks into a club

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What do you call somebody pimping out their bitches for very large amounts of money???? A dog breeder.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

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Why did Jake fall off his bike? His mom threw a fridge at him.

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Life is confusing. Really how so? He just walked up to me five minutes ago with a pair of socks taped on both sides of his face saying humanity is screwed and ran off after peeing on my carpet.

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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0000000010000000000000001000000000000000000000011111111000000000111111000000000000000000011111000000000000011100000000000000000000000000000000100000000000000000000000000000000000000001000000000000000000000000000000000000000011100000000000000000000000000000000000000111100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001111111111111111100000000000000000000000001000000000000001000000000000000000000000001000000000000100000000000000000000000000001111111111111000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 SMILE

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why jews dont believe in God? Jews believe in God, its just that their god is different from ours !

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i don't get it...none of these are funny.

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. I just bought a new xbox.

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You know what they say about a man with big feet! They say it's indicative of the size of his penis, although there's no scientific evidence backing this up.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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how do you make a plumber cry kill his family how do you kill the plumbers family with a wrench

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What do you call 12 ghosts? A bus accident.

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Why did I put the baby into the blender feet first? So I could see its facial expression

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What did the sign say? It said slow down

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile. get in the batmobile.

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What's your favorite Sylvia Plath quote? "Turn on the oven."

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? were both lawyer's.

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What's faker than Nicki Minaj's tits? Women rights.

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Hey, I just met you And this is Crazy I have Amnesia I like trains.

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What's ur favorite color? Cancer Made by mark

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whats not funny and has access to a computer and reasonable internet? Me

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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