How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

What do porn stars do after they retire? No clue but some idiot made a movie about it.

Ok so 3 guys walk into a bar... the fourth one ran.

Your flying on a canoe, and one of the wheels breaks off. How many pancakes does it take to fix it? Trick question there is a gorilla on board.

What's the main difference between dogs and children? When children reach their teen years they grow up and leave home. When dogs reach their teen years they die of old age.

I'm on the seafood diet. I eat clams and shrimp because it is healthy for me.

Yo mamma so fat, she probably has Type Two Diabetes - which is often associated with obesity - and should seek medical advice.

When is a door not a door? When it's a pair of titties!

When life throws you lemons what should you do? Take cover.

A man walks into bar. Which is no surprise as he'd been drinking heavily and his spacial awareness was poor at the best of times.

Knock Knock No solicitors

What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I actually take my shoes off when I jump on the trampoline.

why did the baby fall down the stairs? i pushed it.

Person 1: Why can't a T-Rex clap? Person 2: BECAUSE THEIR ARMS ARE TOO SMALL! Person 1: No, because they are extinct dumbass

you wanna hear a joke? no

Nerochan, it was really nice chatting with you, I hope we can chat some other time... Please tell me why you are upset with me, just pick up the phone, I mean let me know what I did you wrong.

Q: What has two legs and is bloody? A: half a cat

You Scream, I Scream, The cops come, It's awkward

How do you get rich? Cut chunks off a fat person with a cleaver and sell them to china.

Why doesn't little billy eat his vegetables at the dinner table... Because billy has bin dead for 3 years

Why did the little boy get food poisoning? Because his family can't afford to buy organic food, and can only afford McDonald's burgers, where their cows are forced to stand in their own feces.

Friends are like trees. They fall when hit multiple times with an axe.

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A scholarship to a prestigious college that he did not deserve.

What do you call a black woman that's blind and has 1 leg? Handicapped

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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