What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by Shrek

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Hearpin my durp

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What is the most attractive part of a woman's body? The part where she doesn't have a penis. I know, I know, the no-penis thing looks weird and strange, but hear me out. I think it's kind of cute and quirky. Like, oops, there's something that's supposed to be there, but isn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +104

Knock Knock Who's There? ... knock a door run

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Knock Knock The homeowner's acquaintance had called him just minutes prior because he had forgotten something at his house. With this having occurred, the homeowner had a strong sense of who was at the door. Being a cautious person however, he checked his prediction by examining the man through the door's peephole. Having asserted that it was what he had in mind, the homeowner opened the door and handed him some papers that were of importance to the acquaintance.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats worse that stubbing your toe? Death.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

What do you call someone that hates gay people? An asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

what did one dog say to his sex partner? woof woof

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Whats black and white and red all over?.. The L.A. Race Riots.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's worse than a shotgoun to the balls? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What is funnier then a dead baby? A dead baby dressed as a clown!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

There's a elf ,a peice of paper, and a pencil. What happens next? The elf writes on the paper.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

how long does it take for a black woman to poop? depending on what she ate, about 5 to 10 minutes

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why was 6 afraid of 7? When 6 was younger, he was made fun of by all the bigger numbers. Everyday after school he would go home and wonder why he was made fun of. Was it his looks? How tall he was? The pain and suffering never stopped. He thought of suicide every day he got home from school. One day his mom got home from work and found 6 bleeding in the shower. She thought he was dead. She hurried him to the hospital where he was barely kept alive. After months of recovery, he started going back to school. The bullying never stopped, they started calling him a loser who should have died. He got older and depressed as a teenager. He got ahold of alcohol and began drinking. He went to meetings and got over his addiction. 10 years later he meets up with 7. It takes him back to his horrible childhood with the big numbers. Every time 6 sees 7, he gets reminded of everything. 7 had also murdered someone in front of 6.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A black person dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

wanna hear a joke? not really

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Roses are red Violets are blue this poem makes no sense Potato

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are red. Violets are blue. So is my eye. I get abused.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A Jew walks into a bar screaming cause he just broke his face

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the orphan get for Christmas? Nothing, the orphanage did not have sufficient funds to give everyone a present because they did not want to how favoritism because the orphans are already sad enough and te orphanage does not want the orphans killing them selves

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's the worst part of being raped by a unicorn? Be sentenced to a life of shame and humiliation.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Why did the italian go to jail? because he had just robbed a bank and then brutally murdered his wife and kids.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Wow Nero, you never explained the process, its like I am at the ocean again, but dont lie, you still fear showers... Sorry its just not you when you lie to me, I know I should be more concerned about you, ill bring those old stuff, im tired, sleepy, I suppose thats your work huh Nero? Thanks, call it as a brother or what you want, but I really love you and wont ever stop doing so. Goodnight Nerochan, promise me you will take care of yourself, we all got a long life ahead of us, and I want to spend more time with you, if its fine for you and your wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops