- Anti Joke

Roses are red,Violets are blue, Who the hell are you,Get the hell away

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

Why did Sally fall off the Empore State Building? Her mother threw a refrigerator at her. -BG

Why don't rhetorical questions need answers? Because that is what makes them rhetorical.

What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

A hiker gets lost on a trail and ends up wondering deep into the woods. He comes upon an amish farm. He knocks on the door and an amish man answers. The hiker explains his predicament, and the amish man says "sure you can stay in barn, but promise me one thing, don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course I won't". He then goes to the barn. Right before the hiker falls asleep. The amish farmer comes in and says "make sure you don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course not". So the next morning the hiker is rested, well fed and is about to leave when the amish man approaches and says, "Thank you being decent and christian like."

What's the difference between Harry Potter and the Jews? Harry Potter can escape the chambers.

A black guy gets arrested...

Q. What did the barber say to the Italian kid? A. Do you want your hair cut or should I just change the oil.?

A man walks into a bra, he is an alcoholic and is destroying his family

What did Stephen Hawking say about Stephen Hawking Anti-jokes? "They're stupid".

A dentist, a librarian, a construction worker, a gynecologist, a zookeeper, a shoemaker, a terrorist, a politician, a cyclist, a truck driver, a kangaroo, a Mexican, a blonde, a Jewish black guy, a Honda Civic, a monkey, a penguin, an FBI agent, a stock broker, a president of a foreign country, a CEO of a very wealthy company regarding AIDS, a founder of one of top downloaded apps in the market, a chief executive, a cook, a waitress, a priest, a nun, a little boy, a fairy, a dinosaur, and a skeleton walks into a bar. There's no punchline.

Anti-jokes are funny.

What has two legs and bleeds alot? Half a cat!

Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock? Who's there? Not Mary.

Knock Knock Who's there? Sally Sally who? Haha I'm just kidding, I'm Jorge.

What did the pornstar say to the priest? i DO porn

A bishop died and went to heaven. At the Pearly gates he sees Saint Peter , so he says to Peter "All my life I've been a committed Christian, but I just before I died I was tempted by a woman of ill repute". Saint Peter says "This is just an illusion, your dying brain is merely conjuring up images based on your presuppositions of an 'afterlife'. You have about three seconds left"

Patrick is gay

Your momma is so dumb, that when she took the IQ test her scores were considerably lower then average.

What's the difference between a bucket of shit and a black guy? -the bucket.

What is funnier than the funniest thing in the world? Something funnier than the world!

What do the Africans have for breakfast? Nothing.

Four Iraqis played hide and seek 17 years ago, one of them missing, why? he's still hiding.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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