A dog walked into the forest and saw a whale in a puddle

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Why did the duck cross road? It didn't, it got ran over.

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Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

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What do you call an amazing person Good

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An Irishman walks out of a bar.

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what happens when y tell ur deff brother uve been sleeping with his wife..nothing

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are you gay does your mom know

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would run away too if your name was urdaagaa.

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whats blue and fuzzy?.... blue fuzz

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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Knock, Knock Whos there? Docter Docter who? Yes its me, Craig Who your docter, I have the test results back Im afriad its positive,you've only got a few months left

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Q. Which is longer ... a rope ?

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Knock Knock Who's there? ... No one, you have Schizophrenia

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What do Jerry Sandusky and Michael Jackson have in common? They both had sex with little boys.

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Why doesn't God like pizza? Because he doesn't exist.

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What do you call a man whos had his arms ripped off in front of you? An ambulance, because with an injury such as this, you can die anywhere between 10 and 45 minutes

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What's black and sits at the top of the stair case? Stephen hawking in a house fire.......

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What do you put in a toaster? Bread, or sometimes a small penis.

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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Q: Why did the black man shit himself? A: He experienced post-mortem bowel release after he was murdered due to his racial identification.

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So, a Vulcan walks into a bar... and he doesn't say anything, because Vulcan's suppress their emotions.

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Why does Obama not want to get buried? because he's still alive

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Want to hear a joke? I'm sorry.

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How do you wake a sleeping bear? Kick it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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