How many blondes does it take to skrew in a lightbulb? Usually just one.

why does the man appear fat he is

Your mom is so ugly- Wait, hold on. How are you born?

why did the chicken cross the world becuase he had to go in the bathroom

Why do elephants paint there feet yellow? so they can hide in mustard bottles. Have you ever seen an elephant in a mustard bottle? exactly

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares?

What's green and gets you high? Marijuana.

Why did the cheeseburger have seeds on its buns? Because it wasn't a taco.

There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

My dad died on Mothers Day, my mother was happy. Actually Iied, we were all sad.

What eats dicks for dinner and smells like he just licked an STD infested turtle? Jimmy

A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

Knock knock. Who's there? Bob, your neighbor. Okay, come in.

Why did the plane leave late? Because they were out of Kellogg's® Breakfast Cereal.

how many Ethiopians can you fit in a bathtub? all of them.

How old is george washington? anyway thats not the point your pregnant

How do you confuse a blonde? I guess the same way you confuse someone of any other hair color.

How many black people does it take to screw In a lightbulb.....I can't see them.

An Admiral walks into Ackbar...

Jack and jill Went up the hill To go smoke Some marijuana Jack got high Unzipped his fly And asked jill "Do you wanna?" Jill sais "yes" Pulled up her dress And things got real fun But silly jill Forgot the pill And now they have a son

what did the older brother do? put on a joke on anti jokes what did the younger brother do ? give it a minus score what did the older brother do ? tell him and then played gears of war 2 (they got gears 3 but wanted to go bakc in time, not like michael J fox in a car with a crazy doctor but as in play an old game)

Why don`t women need watches? Because in our modern society, there are many clocks in most locations.

jeremie er en ape hvorfor er han det? Who cares!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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