So there's this bigass moose, and it goes in the store and it asks the lady bitch "where the potatoes at" and the lady bitch says "down aisle 5" so the moose goes down to isle 5 and there aint no potatoes.

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what is worse than a joke? an anti-joke.

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Whats the best day of the week? Sponge

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Why did Sally ask for ketchup? She wanted to use it on her french fries.

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Q) What do you call a black president? A) Mr. President

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Emergency call: - Please help, my little son swallowed a condom! 5 minutes later - It is ok, I found another one.

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A moose walks into a grocery store. It goes up to the clerk and asks, "do you guys have any potatoes?" the clerk replies oh yeah they're in isle... Ooooh wait a second. You're a moose. The moose responds, "Yes, indeed I am." The clerk then says "Oh ok, isle seven."

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One time there was a man walking down the street. Wrong, it is physically impossible to walk down a street, you can only walk along it.

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Roses are black. Violets black. Guns are black. My van is black.

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phone and phone charger were talking to each other suddenly a massive hand swopped down to the charger and another hand came down and grabbed the phone they both started screeming so the hand stabbed the phone with the phone charger so the phone said... ALL I DID WAS SCREEM (RANDOMZZZ) (L.W)

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Why did Prius driver go to jail? Because he ran over someone and then fled the scene of the crime (at 11 mph)

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Hi

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Want to hear a dirty joke? Jonny played in the mud. Want to hear a clean joke? Jonny took a bath with bubbles. Want to hear a dirty joke again? Bubbles was the girl next door, Jonny raped her.

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hahaha

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Q: Why did the Klansman go up to acclaimed rapper and television star, Flavor Flav, and say "Do you know what time it is, boy?" A: Because his trademark "bling" seems to be an actual functioning time piece. Q2: Why did that same Klansmen brutally murder Flavor Flav after he learned it was 5:46 in the pm? A2: Becasue Flavor Flav is black and that's kinda what you're expected to do in the Klan...

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What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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Whats long and hard and women like to suck on them? A popsicle or long lollipop

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The next sentence is true. The previous statement is false.

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Why did the muffin not eat the other muffin. Because muffins do not have a digestive system.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream cone? He was hit by a bus

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What do you call a jewish womans boobs? JUBES!

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So this Horse walked into a bar... Just kidding, it was Sarah Jessica Parker.

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Why was Sally sad? She was the only survivor of a plane crash that killed her entire family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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