Roses are red, Violets are blue, I stole all your jokes, I stole this one too.

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Why couldn't Mike answer the phone on time? On his way to the phone he was shot and killed.

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What's the difference between anti jokes and Charlie Sheen? Nothing. Their both stupid

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Why did the blond laugh at work? Because she farted. It was rather uncomfortable for everyone involved.

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Roses are red, violets blue, um... that's all i got.

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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Why was johnny so good at reading? Because he had 3. Toes

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How did the boy die in the holocaust? Cancer

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whats it called when a pimp slaps a ho? RESPECT

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What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? Photoshop

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What do you call a white duck? A quacker

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that feels sooooo good. -is what jacob says when his dogs hump his legs

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I can't wait to eat this bagel! Yes you can. Yeah, I guess you're right.

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WHAT????

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i was molested.

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How do you fit three gay men on a stool? You don't, that would be very uncomfortable.

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My friend just phoned me from the Boston marathon. He was being taken to the hospital due to being injured by the explosions and had to have his leg amputated.

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Your mom was so fat, She was overweight.

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What did the little crippled boy get for his birthday? He's an orphan so he doesn't know his birthday.

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without laughing try to say " i hate bubble" with a dull face

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Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting, he is very fond of animals and would never want to shoot them.

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead are best friends and go shopping together.

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Q: What's the deal with air line food? A: An airline meal or in-flight meal is a meal served to passengers on board a commercial airliner. These meals are prepared by airline catering services. The first kitchens preparing meals in-flight were established by United Airlines in 1936. These meals vary widely in quality and quantity across different airline companies and classes of travel. They range from a simple beverage in short-haul economy class to a seven-course gourmet meal in long-haul first class.

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What is less funny than a clown? Another clown ... but with fewer limbs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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