A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what happened to the farm animals? They were slaughtered and their parts were sold as meat, glue and other useful materials

thumb_up thumb_down +13

knock knock who's there funny funny who a funny joke

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the prostitute get after sex? Syphilis... she got syphilis

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock knock. Who's there. Alex. Alex who? Your brother Alex. Oh, please come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the pedofile say to the little girl? Nothing. She was properly supervised by her parents.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. Every time he closes his eyes, he's sees Charlie hiding in the darkness of the forest. Not that you could ever see those bastards, mind you. They were fast and they knew their way around the jungle. He remembers the looks on the boy's faces when they walked into that village and... oh Jesus. He shouldn't think about that now. Sometimes he still hears Tex's slow southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes. He always had a pack of Luckys. But the boys are gone now... he knows that. It's--it's just that he forgets sometimes. And sometimes the way that seven looks at him... it makes him think. Sets him on edge. And he feels like he's back there... In the jungle... In the darkness. Seven has a hook for a hand as well, which is very scary.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why couldn't the black guy enter the room? He was too large to fit through the doorway therefore he turned around and left

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call an insect that has 8 legs? A spider.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the blackman say to the whiteman???? Nothing! They both commintted suicide

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Uh... Justin, the most pointless man... I gotta cringe for a moment, I don't want to be mean here, but I think my body cell total opinion pool dropped a large quantity there, its not that I do not want you anymore, but, my body`s mass body cell total is kinda denying me... Actually I am denying IT... ACTUALLY WE ARE DENYING EACH OTHER, (which is totally awesome, united denial fighting against one another FOR DENYING THE MOST! BECAUSE COOPERATION IS FOR PUSSIES!) Anyway, hell I am dead tired, oh yeah, Justin... Man, Uh, who where you again?

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree He had no limbs

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Q: what do you call a guy with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? A: A very unfortunate individual.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the chubby, dirty, hobo get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -39

There are 11 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. 10 of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off." The blondes, all moved by the brunette's speech, start clapping. Problem solved.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what happened when the shoe turned into a shoe.......... nothing, it was a raisin

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did they bury the firefighter behind the hill? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the lawyer name his daughter? Nothing. The lawyer is sterile and can never have children.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock knock. Who isn't there? Not me. Don't come in. I won't.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

my uncle tommy is super religious. last month he's walking down the street, he gets mugged and shot in the chest. now miraculously (and i mean miraculously), he always keeps a bible in his left chest pocket. and he had something to read as he bled to death.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Knock knock Who's there? Boo AHHH A GHOST D:

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you do when someone tries to rob you at gunpoint Well first thing you have to do is think why am I in this situation? Then what can I do to avoid this again Finally think about how you're going to pay your medical bill. You were to busy thinking, to notice you just got shot and robbed.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why are the asians on cabin services? Because they do not speak english well enough to converse with guests.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

yo mama so fat she decided to go on a diet :)

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops