Why did Sally go to McDonalds? Because she felt like it

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Never bring a knife to a sword fight Bring A GIANT FREAKING HIPPOPOTAMUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer lacked basic fence mending skills

thumb_up thumb_down +18

sweaty black guy

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A dyslexic man walks into a bar He sits down and has some trouble reading the menu but orders a beer

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why is One direction the best thing in the world? Becuz when 5 hot guys met each other they... Sorry I got lost in Zayn's eyes again! Now what were we talking about??????

thumb_up thumb_down -8

There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did Billy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How many feminist does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to screw it in, the other to suck a dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

There once was a man from Nantucket I raped him. The End.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

whats worse than school? Summer school

thumb_up thumb_down -2

when life throws you lemons your an idiot because it wont

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's worse than finding out you have aids? Nothing. Actually I lied. It would suck being an illegal immigrant.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's the difference between a live baby and a dead baby? A dead baby doesn't cry.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How are you? Yes

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

why does the octopus have no friends? because they're anti social by nature

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

thumb_up thumb_down +25

John: Hey Bill, ORANGE you in the mood to go to a Phillies game? Bill: Yes! So let's make like a banana and raise our potassium levels drastically and leave right away to beat the rush hour traffic.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are red Violets are blue My dad drinks a lot Help Me

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A marine biologist is captured by a group of violent pirates. After hours of being tortured, the pirates make him walk the plank. As he is pushed on to the plank, they ask him for his one last request. He responds "Kill yourselves." The pirates proceed to stab themselves until they bleed out and the marine biologist is the last man on the boat.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's the deal with airline food?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

cory is gay

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops