Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? No? Well, he graduated in 4 years with a degree in chemical engineering due to his diligence and good work ethic. He now has a well paying job that allows him to support his wife and two kids and to pay the mortgage on their large home.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

antijoke is the best website.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what do you call a man with blue eyes??? a man with blue eyes

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What's as hard as rock and as light as a feather? Any object in the space, once the lack of gravity makes atoms to have not weight, since mass x gravity equals to weight.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Yo mama so fat she has an increased risk of blood clots!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did it take a long time to read the anti-joke? Because of the great amount of space between the question and the answer.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the black guy walk into the supermarket and buy 100 bananas? Because he works at the zoo you racist!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

So, a man walks into a bar, and he ends up in intensive care, because the bar was very hot and gave him severe burns. He was on business in an industrial park.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: What did the racoon say to the cow? A: Nothing, because neither have the extansive intillect to speak in a manner that the other would understand.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

When life gives you lemons you squirt them in someones eyes and steal what life gave them.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How did the Pollack die? Cardiac arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Knock, knock ... ... ... Well I guess no one is home.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Knock Knock: I have full blown AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? Tiger Woods is an American professional golfer whose achievements to date rank him among the most successful golfers of all time and Santa Claus is a very jolly fellow who brings gifts to the homes of the good children during the late evening and overnight hours of Christmas Eve.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What do you get when ned puts toast in the toaster? A fucking massive sperm whale.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

So, a man walks into a bar. Suddenly, the universe around him cracks, unable to sustain the weight of infinite potential punchlines. He tumbles through an empty void amongst shards of his broken reality.

thumb_up thumb_down +906

roses are red, violets are blue, my name is dave, this poem makes no sense, microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A man walks into a bar, he asks if the bartender knows where Starbucks is. The bartender finds this exceptable and shows him the way.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Whats the difference between the floor and the ceiling? One of them is higher!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Meanwhile in the basement...an elderly man, who lives a lone and whose children lead their own lives and dont have much time for him, lies on the ground unable to move after having falling down the stairs. He has been there for 2 days. He is frightened and confused, he hears someone knocking and his hopes perk up, he tries to call but due to lack of water his mouths is too dry to do so. He sobs in frustration. Knock Knock [Silence] The old man cries, aware of his fate.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops