Roses are red, My watch is gold now get on your knees and do as your told

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Bill:Ask me to do something. Bob:Go get me a beer Bill:Would you like fries with that?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? A catfish could never pass the LSAT because it is unable to perform high-level critical thinking.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

What's the difference between a black minister and a white priest? Nothing. We are all equal in the eyes of God.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q. Why do Puerto Ricans throw their trash away in clear plastic bags? A. So Italians can go window shopping.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

A guy asks someone's name. The other guy answer that his name is Steeve.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

So this guy walks into a bar and– Nevermind it's really not that funny.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q. how does james bond like his babies A.shaken not stirred but if u think thats bad wait till u see a stirred baby

thumb_up thumb_down +8

-Knock, Knock -Who's there? -Carl -Carl wh-wait... carl...CARL OH MY GOD!!!! WE ALL THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD ,CARL!!!! Where have you been? Oh my god... Mom's DEAD! When we all thought you were dead she hung herself! IT'S YOUR FAULT SHE'S DEAD, CARL! YOUR FAULT!!!!!! YOU ARE AN UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF SHIT CARL! YOU KNOW THAT? I hope you burn in hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A black man is packing heat while driving his car. He is a police officer

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call an old widow with 12 cats? Forever alone.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Roses are grey Violets are grey I live in Africa Give me water

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his access to goods and services and his future options from birth.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

how much is a microwave full of dead babies? a fridge full of dead puppies.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Gays

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Everyone in the bar is very happy for him considering he has regained the ability to walk

thumb_up thumb_down -4

your mother hates you

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q:whats big white and falls out of trees A:a refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's funny about a dying dog? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A woman is getting in the shower but the the doorbell rings so she puts on her towel and gets the door a man is there asking for sugar. Then she gets back into the shower then the doorbell rang again so she puts on her towel and anwsers the door another man is there he asked for some batteries she gave him some and went back to the shower. Then she hears the doorbell again she thought since there wasn't anybody else that lived on her street she decided to just go to the door without her towel so she answers the door thinking the blindmans there and it was the police man.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

where does al queda go on a business trip the twin towers

thumb_up thumb_down -8

i died. new product by steve jobs. also presenting icoffin, and next year icoffin 2. slightly slimmer with a lock button to keep zombies out.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the little boy cry? I cut off his toes one by one and shoved fireworks up his ass

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what do you call a fish without eyes? a fshhhhh

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops