Malcolm Johnson from Zenith windows, I was wondering if I could speak to you for a while about some fantastic offers which we currently have on double glazed windows....

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what happened to the little girl when she crossed the line she was shot. shes mexican

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whats worst then geting a used condom put in your mouth geting wraped by mario then lugi

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Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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What do you call a fish without gills? Dead

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What was Hellen Kellers biggest mistake? Knock knock jokes

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IT SOUNDS SO WROOONG! Actually I was thinking more about when I go short sentences, you go short, then I decide to put in like 500 lines in a single comment and then you do. Besides I call it caps! And no, I do not want you to be like me, there was already another me, it was a complete bitch killing him, I mean if I did not know a lot worse, I would say his chances at kicking my ass where equal. By the way, that "you you seducer" totally sounded like something Donald Duck would say, I dig Donald, so I guess I am into cartoons.

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Anyone??????????/

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How do you stop a bus? You don't, and Regina George didn't either.

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A man and a hobo meet on a narrow path. What does the hobo do? Finds the mans wife and impregnateds her, aborts the baby, takes dead fetus chops it up and makes the man eat it in a salad. While the man is chocking he shotes him and walks on.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Pick up Lines skeet skeet skeet! JLR

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What did Scooby Doo say to Shaggy? Raggy

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what is worse than falling off a bridge? .. getting pushed off a bridge

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your mother is so fat that she bought a treadmill and uses it daily. she already lost 20 lbs.

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What do you call a person who kills there own child? Casey Anthony.

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theres no 'I' in 'team' but theres an 'I' in 'hitler'

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An Irishman walks into a bar he asks for directions, and leaves.

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What do you do after a murder kills your entire family? Nothing, he killed you too

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What do squirrels and Justin bieber have in common? Everything.

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Steve. Steve who? Steve Johnson, and I'm legally obligated to inform you that I'm a sex offender.

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What's worse than watching 5 homeless men have an orgy? Waking up and having to clean the sheets

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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