A man walked into a bar and a knife seventeen times.

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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What do you get when you mix a fox and a sloth? a..FOTH

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Why is Osama bin laden so hard to find? Because he is dead.

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What's worse than getting rejected by your date? Finding out she gave you a social disease. Namely AIDS.

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Why did the house burn down? Obama

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What the diffrence between a jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when it goes in the oven

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Why did the downtown New York worker never make it home? An airplane crashed into his office.

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Q: What do you call a hillbilly with 12 girl friends? A: A shepherd.

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Your mother is so stupid she never finished College thus having to work many menial jobs to provide for her family.

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If you're a man, why don't you want to drop the soap in prison? The shower floors are disgusting and carry bacteria. No way would any person -- man or woman -- want to touch it.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Or something... Volume one. What do you do if you are in the jungle and get confronted by one jaguar to your left, and one tiger at the right and got only one bullet left in your gun? You shoot the Jaguar and drive home in the tiger.

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A midget, a nun, and a kangaroo walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

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A white guy, a mexican, and a black guy are in a race. Who always wins? Whichever one crosses the finish line first

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Your mother is so good in the kitchen that we all asked for a second helping.

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What do you call a person with disabilities? Names.

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Who keeps knocking on the wall? My neighbors have sex a lot.

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Wanna hear a story bout my uncle turza.... My uncle turza was eating fruit loops one day and there was a squirrel in the trre from 2 days ago he got angry because the spoon was from the phillipines so he punched a whole in the wall and his half uncle cousins sister had a cage.... True story

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If roses weren't RED and violets weren't Blue... Walls are still solid objects.

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your mom is so stupid that she is suffering from down's syndrome, and has a shorter life expectancy than normal people.

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teacher:humpty dumpty sat on a wall.... me: wait, why was he up there ms.park? teacher: well hes never been the same since vietnam, his wife divorced him and now hes a raging alcoholic.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? Almost everything.

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Jesus Christ

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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