Which came first the chicken or the egg? The egg because if a chicken came first then that means chickens magically appeared. Eggs however may change over time through evolution by a common ancestor because after millions of years of hatching, it slowly mutated by natural selection and became to what is now known as the domestic chicken. (Applause)

"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Ben." Ben who?" "Ben Dover!" "Ben,it's been 7 years. I already moved on and have a new husband and family. Stop coming here or I'm calling the police."

YO FACE

What is brown and sticky? A stick.

What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A Pogo Stick

What happens when a toad is struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

what do you call a black guy african american

Why did Helen Kellers dog run away? It didn't. She did not own a dog.

what did the cow said to the other cow? Moo

Here's a joke, a black man walks into a store and buys something. that's it.

Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

What did you call something that is long, hard and full of seamen? A ship.

I accidentally washed my white Labrador retriever with three red shirts and my Red Sox baseball cap. When I went to move the laundry, the dog was drowned.

While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

Did the Chicken cross the road? No the road moved the chicken across.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You have AIDS, I'm very sorry

What's worse than 1000 babies tied to a tree? 1 baby tied to 1000 trees.

Roses are red violets are blue I have a pie would you like some?

my dick is like a bridge. i dont know why.

WELCOME TO THE GARLIC BOYS SHOW! So kids, what are we gonna eat today? POTATOES! FUUUUUUU! Moral: You say tomata, I say WROOOOOOOONG, you say cheap I say your mother.

why couldnt the kid get off the couch when his mom asked him to? he was paralyzed

Why did the monkey fall out the tree? Cause its dead!

Why did the chicken cross the road? No reason.

roses are red violet is blue why rik go to the hospital ? cause he eat glue.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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