Why do black people call white people "Niggas"? Because they took an overdose of KFC and watermelon, they're actually just insulting themselves.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Identical jokes get different amounts of votes

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passenger seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What do you call a deer in the wild? a deer

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you get when you cross the color pink and pie? A penis ate the answer.

thumb_up thumb_down

Conversation: Hey dawg? Whats that? Hey, remember curiosity killed the cat! You threatening me on my life and calling me a pussy? Im calling the cops. ...Because like Larsons some of my ideas suck, but since I am an asshole I also add them to fill some space.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Two homeless men are baking in an oven. They scream loudly until they both die.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What happens when you give a fat man scissors? He cuts off the foreskin of your penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Did you know, even though penguins ARE birds... They don't live in volcanoes?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats worse than Sandy Hook Massacre? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -39

RULES: #1) have fun #2) safety first

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you call a man who laughed at a joke that wasn't funny? A man who gets amused at the littlest things.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

When life gives you ponies... get a new life!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the Lumberjack say before cutting down the tree? Nothing, it's his job.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Where did John go? Refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down -99

an emo girl walked into a white room

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what do you get when you put a baby in a blender? salsa how to you get it out? tostitos

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why don't nuns wear bras? Because god supports everything!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

You wanna hear a joke? The 19th amendment. Just kidding, women are actually a very valued part of our society. Just kidding again.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Michael Jackson retire from basketball? Michael Jackson never played basketball, but was nonetheless one of the most successful musicians to ever live.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's better than singing in the rain? Singing in a Pitt of fire. Oh wait that would be way worse than singing in the rain

thumb_up thumb_down -31

roses are cows violets are oranges im mental are you too

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What is yellow, smooth, and dangerous? Shark-infested custard

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops