What made the lady dance? Bandz!

Why am I righting in english? Because this is an english site.

Ever heard of a funny black guy? Me either

Knock Knock. Who's there? Your doctor, You've been diagnosed with venereal disease.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A worm in your intestinal tract.

A man spots Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles. He proceeds to tell his friends the story, who in turn believe him, as the story is plausible.

What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

what's worse, ten babies stapled to a tree or one baby stapled to ten trees?

Yo momma's so fat, she slipped into a diabetic coma.

a piece of string walks into a bar and the bartender says “sorry we dont serve your kind here” so the string goes outside twists himself round and ruffles up one of his ends then walks back into the bar, the bartender says “aren’t you the piece of string i just kicked out?” the string then replies “i’m a frayed knot”

a horse is running across a cliff at 54 miles per hour, against the wind. he has been running for three hours. he needs to run for 347 more kilometers before he is tired. the wind is blowing at a speed of 10 miles per hour... he wonders if he will make it when suddenly he falls off the cliff. why did he fall of the cliff? it was a retarded horse.

A Nazi ran into a Bar.

Why didn't the lttle boy fasten his seatbelt? It doesn't matter, it's too late now.

What do u do to blow off steam? I simply go to the top of the empire states building, poor gasoline in a bag, put a baby in it, light it on fire, and through it off the side. problem?

What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

a boy poops in class everybody laughs and now he has no friends

Whats green, and says i'm a frog? A talking frog.

Knock Knock Who's there A pile up A pile up who

What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

how many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? well it depends on the size of the bathtub - and the size of the babies, for sure.

Three men were lost in a desert when a genie appeared and granted them each a wish. they died of dehydration shortly afterward, never realizing they were hallucinating.

A White guy, Black guy and Hispanic are all on the same bus. They get off at their predetermined stops and continue their day.

I haven't been this tired since the last time I was tired

Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero? Because it is impossible, the answer is undefined.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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