Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose!

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What is 9 inches long, the same colour as my skin, and makes my girlfriend gag when I shove it down her throat? Her Miscarriage.

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It takes a minute to know somebody, an hour to fall in love, but a lifetime to forget. Once, my mom forgot me at Disney World.

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roses are blood violets are veins vampires are crazy and you are insane

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why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? he got hit by a bus why was the little girl happy? because she found an icecream cone

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why is blake oneal gay? because hes black and he likes peniss in his ass

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whats red round and gets smaller? a baby combing its hair with a potatoe peeler

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Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent gets brutally murdered.

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A seal walks into a club.

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What did the man say to the woman before he had sex with her? "May I have sex with you, please?"

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None of the sex jokes are not funny or not funny. They're just inappropriate.

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What did the coach do to the player Coached the player

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Roses are red I have a phone,no texts me am forever alone~The Jokers

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Two dogs went out for a walk. Then their master took them home.

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A boy asks his father how babies are made. The father responds, "Babies are created via coital sex. A man rhythmically inserts his erect penis into a woman's vagina until he ejaculates. If his semen successfully fertilizes her egg, a baby will slowly grow in her uterus. After roughly forty weeks of gestation, the baby will be born."

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What did Mambo say to Jumbo? Nothing. Because they weren't friends.

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Q. What's worse than 9/11? A. That one shark jumping episode of Happy Days.

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my mom died because she was morbidly obese

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Where did the Jew put his money? In a low rist, interest bearing mutual fund.

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roses are red violets are blue pornhubs down your mums facebook will do.

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What is green, dangorous, slow, defencive, and scared? A turtle with a uzi.

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What's the difference between a cake and Jews? A cake comes out of the oven.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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What happened to the girl that thought she was a mermaid? She drowned, humans can't breathe under water.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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