A child rides by his mother on his bicycle and says "Look Mom, no hands!" The child doesn't come back, and night falls but he has yet to come home. His mother calls the police and a search begins 2 days later. He is never found is presumed dead.

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What's funnier than the world ending? Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder in a staring contest.

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what do all black jokes start with (look left look right)

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What does an emu an a kiwi have in common? Both are flightless birds endemic to there own countries.

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What did the lemon say to the turtle? If you think the lemon said anything, something is wrong with you.

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What srtarts with "P" and ends in "orn"? Popcorn

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When is the best time to wear a striped sweater? All the time.

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Q: What's worse than not having a good relationship? A: Starving Africans

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who has no significant other or personal life? who ever is on anti-joke.com

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What is fat and white? A polar bear with a glandular problem.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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whats funnier than a dead musim? a guy who begs a girl to go out with him for 16 hours

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There was an Irishman, an American and a French man standing at a bar. They all ordered drinks and struck up conversation with each other about what they do for a living and their families. They all go home to their partners and have a peaceful nights sleep.

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An insane individual walks into a bank and asks for $500. The teller refuses since he doesn't have an account, so the individual pulls out a gun and asks the teller again. The teller presses the silent panic button, causing the cops to show up and arrest the gunman, but not before he manages to shoot the teller and the small child standing next two counters over.

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Q: If your 17 year-old-daughter is a drug addict, how many cartwheels are you going to have to do to make it to Georgia? A: The French Revolution, because your grandmothers facebook shows an 11 year-old selling Concords to a green alien, which can only mean that over 600 people watch pórn daily.

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where can you find a monkey, a blond, and a bear? the zoo.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Tennis? Tennis who? Tennis Racket

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Why was the boy seeing stars? It was night time.

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a drumset fell off a clif. Badoom ch.

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a boy walks into the doctors office."my knees hurt...i poked it like this"the doctor says "listen kid...u are a really good kid but u didnt really injure your knee and im sick of you!!"

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Realising the apple is the worm...

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"i see", said the blind man ... ...to his deaf wife... ...while his crippled children jumped for joy....

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What happens when you put a baby, a dog and a cat in the same bag They will all most likely suffocate if left in the bag too long

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- What has 2 legs and is bleeding ? - A dog cut in two.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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