why are there so many homeless asians with squinty eyes, they cant find their way back home

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a really dumb girl with downs? Ashley Howard

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the man's foot hurting? Because he was being fed into a wood chipper

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's short, white, and is sick and tired of your shit? A toilet. What's white and killed Elvis? Also a toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Two families of pedophiles go to the beach. One of the dads lays down to suntan and looks at the other dad. "Hey! Get out of my son!" he exclaims.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Man U

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did Helen Keller say? Obcojbcidjbcidjbdijcbd

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a jew with no money It doesn't really matter because all jews have money

thumb_up thumb_down +40

I don't believe in giraffes.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock knock! Who's there? ... There was no reply because the person who knocked was the mailman delivering a package, and he had a tight schedule so he couldn't stay around to chat.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the jew get for christmas nothing because he doesnt celebrate christmas.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Q: What happened to the man who died? A: Nothing, there is no afterlife.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what to you call a black person that flies planes? a pilot YOU RACIST

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A Fat Kenyan

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do two Mexicans call a stray cat? Gato

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man from China is learning English and when confronted by a cop accidentally answers each question with one of the few words he knows, impugning himself in the process. The cop, not being a sociopath, realizes that the chuckling foreigner probably has no idea what he has just done and hands him a dictionary to help him cope with the drastic change.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

a women picks up her phone and screams! There were 3 missed calls from her mother-inlaw

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you stop a baby alien from crying? Watch what its mother does to soothe it and then try and copy that.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is the difference between a peasant and a pheasant? One's a bird.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Which came first, the chicken or the egg? It's a meaningless question because animals had been creating eggs for millions of years before chickens ever evolved.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Knock knock. Stop making puns at my door!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is the best invention ever? Taking a crap reverse. So you can enjoy a nice bowl of aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9. Why was 7 afraid of 9? Because 9 was black.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops