A janitor walks into a bar. He cleans the bar.

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Why did Helen Kellers dog run away? You would too if your name was Hjshdvcyehbretafvvba.

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you've been denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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Well, first of all, what I have overcome both mentally (trauma) and physically (lots of shit) is in the past, lets leave it there. Second yeah, I can basically shift my sense of left and right at will, meaning I can choose which arm to write with, and write things mirrored without even thinking about it, I can fool my senses basically, one second I struggle playing the piano because I have just trained with one, then I make my brain believe I have been practicing with both, its simple, but complicated to explain, while my ears are perfectly normal, I got two sets of balance nerves, it just gets more complicated from there.

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Why did the black man walk into a bar? To order a drink.

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Your mother is so fat that she will die relatively early because of poor health.

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Your mom is so fat she is larger then the average person.

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whats worse than someone on the phone during a movie? your mother queefing on your bowl of cheerios

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What do u call a black guy that sell drugs? A nigga

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A white man and woman are married and the wife becomes pregnant. However, the wife has been having an affair with an African American man. The baby turns out to be white and so the woman was very fortunate or else the husband would have figured it out for sure.

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Why was the poor man poor? Because he doesnt make money

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knock knock your gay

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Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the salamander, macaroni and cheese.

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I like the Tsarnaev brothers. They ran the Boston marathon and had a BLAST!

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What has 4 eyes and can't see. Blind siamese twins!

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What do you call a guy who has no experience flying a plane? Suicidal

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A blonde is running for her life and sees a sign that says "GO LEFT TO SURVIVE". She goes right and she survives.

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The doctor said to the boy that a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down. He is diabetic.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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what do you call a shitty anti-joke? A shitty anti-joke.

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what did one white man say to the other white man? hello!

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Why don't Batman go to an Ozzy Osbourne concert? Because Batman doesn't exist.

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Girl: I wanna get yo pants. Boy: but im wearing shorts.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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