When I was a kid, I had a clown at my birthday party. He molested me. Later I found out the clown was my dad.

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Midgets' mouths are perfect height for, kissing other midgets.

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Q: How do you learn the best break dance moves? A: I don't know. You figure it out.

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What do you call a thirsty girl? H2Hoe

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() () () () () () () ------ *__________* yo can go %$*# yourself =~~ 0

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I don't hate you because you're fat. You're fat because I hate you

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How do you keep an extraordinary magician from performing his show? Replace his shampoo with battery acid

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What do you get when you cross a black man and an octopus? I don't know, but it sure would pick a lot of cotton.

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Guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. He orders a beer with two cubes of ice. The bartender ask why does he want two cubes of ice. The guy doesn't answer. He finishes his beer and proceeds to go home safely because he was not intoxicated.

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Yo momma is SO black.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Wrong. Violets should be purple.

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What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend? Homeless

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit him with an ax.

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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What is the main contrast about different banks? None, they all take your money!

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how do you make a clown sad? you push it off a swing.

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You tell your mom she's a bitch and she later commits suicide by shooting herself in the head . Now, what's the only thing ductape can't fix? Your moms skull.

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Knock Knock Come in.

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How do you give a cold sore to catnip? Because he needed lemon juice

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roses are red, violets are blue, charcoal is black, and my neighbor is too.

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Knock,Knock Whos there ? Hola Holo who ? Holocaust Hahahaha

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Knock knock Who's there? Owl Owl who? Owl Johnson, your neighbor. Oh hi Owl, please come in.

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Which came first the chicken or the egg? The egg because if a chicken came first then that means chickens magically appeared. Eggs however may change over time through evolution by a common ancestor because after millions of years of hatching, it slowly mutated by natural selection and became to what is now known as the domestic chicken. (Applause)

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boobs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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