Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Zebras.

How do you get a blonde's attention? Throw deodorant at her until she looks.

What did the black man say to the white man? Hi im phill

Why was the Jewish man in jail? He lit a local CVS on fire.

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

A horse walks into a bar, the bartenders asks "Why the long face?"

How do you kill a cancer patient? Throw a fridge at him.

When life gives you ponies... get a new life!

How do you confuse a blonde? I guess the same way you confuse someone of any other hair color.

Knock Knock Who's there? Donald Trump Donald Trump who? I already told you my full name. You're fired!

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

Whats funnier than a pile of dead babies nothing child abuse is not a funny matter.

Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair? She had dementia.

knock knock who's there? a murder who? a murder who kills you and your family.

The adventures of Helen Keller:

Q. What do cows and grass have in common? A. They both moo, except for grass ????????????

His face was drawn, but the curtains were real.

A man walked into a store and asked if he could use the restroom. They found this acceptable and let him use it.

Hey I just met you and this is crazy, I am pregnant and that's yo baby !

Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have to go to the bathroom now...

how do you get a clown off a swing??? hit him in the back with an ax!

How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? most likely one unless there is physical disability that makes this person incapable of this action

Whats worse than than falling in a puddle on the way to a meeting? Getting shot while your at that meeting.

I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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