I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! In for a penny, in for a pound. I'm Donald Trump!

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How do you get your lawyer to shut up. Hit him with a bat.

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SQUID DOMINATION!!! Squids WILL Take Over the World!!!

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Roses are brown Violets are brown everything is brown Who shat in my garden?

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what do you get if you eat cream cake, coffee cake, strawberry cake, chocolate cake, fruit cake, and sponge cake? a very large stomach-cake.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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How much coke can Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill two and a half men.

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what do you call a duck with no legs? a sitting duck

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How do you know if you have athlete's foot? You ask your doctor, and he will tell you.

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How do you get a small girl of a swing ? Throw a fridge at her

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the koala.

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Did you see Helen Keller at the movie theater? I didn't either, she's dead.

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Why is a blonde girl crying in the bathroom? Because she has been bullied and someone broke her nose.

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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-Have you ever eaten Ethiopian food? -No -Niether have they

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Knock knock Whos there? D D who D's nuts!

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Why do vampires drink blood? Maybe if they existed you could ask one.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? rockband

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your mom is so stupid she did not do so well on her IQ test

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A pig walks into a bar and says, "Oink."

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Why did the car crash? The driver was female.

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How do you stop a second date from happenin? You force a dead mouse in your date's vagina.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding A Duck in your apple! What is worse than finding a duck in your apple? Finding a racist in your apple! Whats worse than finding a racist in your apple? DEATH

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Who the hell is Femi Otedola?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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