A: What is faster than a speeding bullet? B: Light

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What is the difference between Sarah Jessica Parker and a horse? Sarah Jessica Parker is a human being who is also a very skilled actress A horse is a animal which is usualy kept in a barn

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You're mother is so fat the doctors say she has a serious obesity problem and will most likely have to go on cholesterol pills and begin regulating her diet properly.

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roses are red violets are blue i done your mom and i do you too

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

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how do you get a cat out of a tree? -call the fire department

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People eat. Thats because we poop. No its the other way around. Sloppy Joes. Thats what my poop looks like. Oh no im eating poop in between two buns!

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How do you get a black guy down from your tree? You tell him to do so.

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What did the old man say? Im old

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I hate girls that try to act hard. Like calm down you dont got a dick.

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why did mary fall off the swing? Cause she had no arms. Why didnt she get back up? Cause she had no friends. Knock knock whos there Definately not mary !

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side -Tag

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Lil' Wayne

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Well You're Full Of It . -Full Of What ? Well , Probably Blood And Other Organs You Can't Live Without . .

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Why did the 60 y/o man take erectile dysfunction pills? His doctor prescribed them.

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Whats pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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What do you call a bird with a broken wing? A bird with a broken wing.

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Knock knock Who's there? Police Police who? You're under arrest, open up or we'll knock your door down.

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The Christian Bible.

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Who is green? Mike Wazowsky.

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I dont often wash my hands in the bathroom but when i do its so people dont think im gross.

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Doctor Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains! Really? Well that's the least of your problems. Your test came up HIV positive.

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I woke up this morning and ran five miles. I am proud of myself for engaging in such a healthy lifestyle.

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Your chicken just went across the road. What does this tell you about the economy?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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