What did George Bush say when 9/11 happened? "Silly pilots! The airport isn't in a building!"

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What's big and red and if it falls out of a tree and can kill you - a fire truck

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im gunna build a lego house what shud i make it out of

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Chuck Norris has appeared in several action films.

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Why was Sally sad? She was the only survivor of a plane crash that killed her entire family.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Children Protective Services. Your kids are dead.

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Last night I had a lovely chicken burger I had no mayo left so had to make do with coleslaw but enjoyed it anyway.

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What do you call a cat with no ears? Anything you fucking well like. Cats can't understand speech.

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Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant? A- Don't be ridiculous purple elephants don't exist

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Where do you find a dog with no legs ? Same place you left it ...

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One,two,skip a few... five,six,seven,eight...(and so on ad infinitum)

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks: "why that long face?" The horse, being a horse, thus not being able to comprehend the complexities of a conversation, says nothing and then shits on the floor.

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hear hear

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Man- Where can I find a book on the holocaust Book keeper- Have you tried comedy? Man- no I havent Book keeper- good it won't be there

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Why can't an elephant smoke cigarettes? They do not posses the fine motor skills.

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What happens to men who grow up. They are probably taller

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud…

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What's worse than a spray tan? - A spray tan of hydrochloric acid.

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How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was something of interest on the other side.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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What's worst that the Holocaust? Another one.

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What did the man do when he went in the bathroom he took a crap wiped his butt and washed his hands and went back to meet his family at the dinner table

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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