so if you need 20 dollars and you just kicked your cat how old is your mom. cake because you are a 666 member.

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why was the water bottle empty? because bob drank it. stupid bob...

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There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

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What did the blind, deaf, mute child get for Christmas? Leukemia

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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Your mother is a very respectable woman.

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Why is the grass always greener on the other side? because they have a landscaper.

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Knock knock Who's there? Carrot Carrot who? Carrot in the tree house, cause it's orange.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra

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Why didn't Joey play with the other kids on the playground? Answer: He was dead

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Why did my brother drive the speed limit? Because it's the law

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What did Jesus say to Moses? Jesus isn't real. Moses replied, "Do you think I'm stupid? I'm talking to him!"

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i have to tell you a knock knock joke. but you have have to start it..

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What's the difference between a jew, a muslim and a christian. They follow different belief systems

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The 70's called. They had the wrong number.

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Your such a whore, you most likely cut your own clothes so people will see more of your body that they find physically attractive and make a partner for sex easier to obtain

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What's short, white, and is sick and tired of your shit? A toilet. What's white and killed Elvis? Also a toilet.

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What do you call two black men flying an airplane? Pilots.

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My butt!!!!!!!!

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How do you make a telemarketer scream? Set him on fire.

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What happened to the vegetarian when he tried outdoor survival He died due to lack of energy because of his refusal to eat meat and or any living substance

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I used to be an adventurer like you. Then i took an arrow to the knee.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, this is an overused joke on a kid's cartoon. Thank me later.

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What do you do when you find a robber holding a 19 pound sack of poultry? Think life through and try to find out how you had this coming.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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