did you hear about the man who crossed the road? he made it.

Why did the house get trashed? Cause the babysitter was a rooster

Knock knock Who's there? No one you care bout so why did u say who's there?

What's so sad about a bus with mentally handicapped children falling off a cliff? There was one empty seat.

im gunna build a lego house what shud i make it out of

If Chuck Norris had five dollars and YOU had five dollars, he could still punch you in the face for free and get ten dollars out of it.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

Why did Jimmy never like old people? Because he was abused as a child by one.

Q: What do you give a woman with everything? Nothing. You own nothing to give.

A piece of paper got wet. I stuck it over the fireplace to dry off, but it lit on fire.

Ready for something funny? nothing

guess what im a bitch i have no balls and i can slap your mum in the face

Whats is pathetic and just plain sad? Gas prices these days.

Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Leukemia

Q: Why are black people black? A: Cause they're from Africa.

roses are red violets are blue the stems are green they smell good

Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme coffee table.

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? It shouldn't take more than one person to do this task, regardless of hair color.

Why did the all the fish in the lake die? A pesticide bioaccumulated through the food chain.

Let me tell you a story kids about Bill. Now bill seemed like any ordinary guy, he had a job a wife kids and he even coached the little league baseball team for boys. Well he had all the kids come to his house to celebrate the championships,they won, and he accidentally killed a kid while trying to hit a pinata. He had to kill the rest of the children to hide evidence so he killed them all quick and buried them in a 6ft. hole in his basement where they lay for 9 years today.

civil rights

What do you call a black fire-fighter? A hero.

Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: Kill her entire family.

what's difference between a pile of dead babies and a car? I don't have a car in my garage.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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