what happens when you punt a baby in between 2 poles? you get 3 points

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's worse than a dead baby falling out of a tree? Two dead babies stapled together falling out of a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Did you know that Hellen Keller had a roller coaster in her backyard? Neither did she

thumb_up thumb_down -25

bob lost his camouflage bag. he never found it.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday, Popeyes has a special sale buy one get one free fried chicken. The chicken was like "Oh hell no, today's Tuesday? I'm funna get my feathery-asss out of here.." However, chickens do not know what day it is, nor do they care about being captured by humans. I also made up the part when the chicken began talking.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

100 chefs walk into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down -40

A chinese man, a white man, and a black man are all driving on the freeway. They see each other and wave as they all know each other, and then they focus on the road and drive carefully.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q. What does the kool aid man say when he breaks into a wall A. Ow

thumb_up thumb_down

Sally went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. She was exhausted and died of dehydration at the top.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what do you get when you cross a jellyfish, a jar, and a brown crayon? i dont know, im not into genetics, and jars dont have genes.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's black and white and red all over? A penguin after being attacked by a man with a mace.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why bouriquet fall off the swing? Ask him.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the most direct path to his destination.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you drown a blonde? Weigh her down and throw her into a body of water.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What was the energizer bunny arrested for? Rape.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why couldn't Peter climb the tree? Because he's a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Justin Bieber hits puberty

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Dat ass, or dem titties? Your choice.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A Serbian Film

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Two peanuts are walking down a dark alley. One was a honey roasted.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did Suzie fall off her swing? She was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -49

What do you call a woman who loves sex and food? A fat wh0re.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops