Knock knock, Come in...

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Waiter. there's a fly in my soup! I apologize, I'll bring you a new one immediately.

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One day a man named Tyler put a picture of an Asian in his wallet and proceeded to call himself Asian even though he was of Caucasian. Then a theif pick pocketed his wallet and was confused.

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Why was little Jimmy sad? Because his mum died.

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What the librarian say to the man? Hi, can I help you?

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Knock knock. Who's there? Blanket Blanket who? Blanket, son of deceased recording artist Michael Jackson. Ever since his father died there has been so much stress in the family that he could not handle it. He ran away and is now seeking shelter and grief council.

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Why did the man cross the road? His mother had recently passed away after a 12 year battle with lung cancer and is visiting her tombstone.

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What is the quickest way to speed up your 70 year old husband’s heart rate? Extract of foxglove is a very effective blocker of the parasympathetic nervous system, and since the parasympathetic nervous system is responsible for slowing the heart, this would lead to an increase in heart rate. However, it is very dangerous to use such chemicals without advice, and therefore it is better to seek an examination and, if necessary, a prescription from a qualified GP.

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what do u call a gay guy? Marlin Stein and Bryan Carboni

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how do you kill justin bieber? put a bag over his head and suffercate him.

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Do dead Elves know it's Xmas ?

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What dosent kill you only makes you injured

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me!

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Miranda Lorenz is a WHORE!!! She has slept with three guys while in a relationship!! then when he broke up with her for cheating on him, she keyed his car!! Psycho Bitch!!!

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Q:If an apple and an orange had a politicial debate, what would it concern? A:Nothing important.

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So a seal walks into a club...

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yo mama's so fat, she wears a big belt

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what shoes do pedafiles wear White vans

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Q: Why didn't Jack go up the hill? A: He had prior engagements.

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what did the African baby get for his birthday?..... AIDS

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Why did Sally Drop here ice cream? She was hit by a bus. Knock Knock? *who's there* Not Sally.

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Dont listen to your heart all it dose is BEAT BEAT BEAT

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What did the podiatrist say to the proctologist? That athletes foot fungus is clearing up nicely.

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What did the blind man say to his wife? Nothing, for he was mute too

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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