Q: What do you get when you mix root beer with a cloud? A: Nothing, you idiot.

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Why you don't laught when you see a black guy on a scooter? Because it could be your.

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your mama is so fat, she sat on the ipod touch and made the ipad.

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Why did the red head never have a boyfriend? She was a lesbian and had always preferred women over men

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What's the resemblance between a chicken? Its legs are approximately equal, especially the left one.

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whats red round and gets smaller? a baby combing its hair with a potatoe peeler

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Q: What do sleeping pills and coffee have in common? A: Absolutely nothing

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Those that want what is best for me, shall listen to me and do only whatever I want. Those that want ONLY what is best for me, underestimate me greatly. You who stand in the way if my will, claiming you want what is best for me, better move aside.

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How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb? None they're dead

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What did the blonde say to the brunette? I just ate a chicken panini.

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Have you heard the one of the two headed man an the horse? Neither have I

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What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Well, a pizza is edible object provided for human consumption, and a jew is a holy human being believing in the prophet abraham.

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What's the difference between a freezer and a baby? A freezer doesn't scream when I pack my meat into it.

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How's the weather? Good.

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So this guy and his monkey walk into a bar, I forget the rest of the joke but your mothers a whore.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being ripped apart by an angry orangatang because orangatangs have the strength of ten men.

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Ask me if I'm a tree... Are you a tree? No.

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Little Stephanie was up all night on Christmas eve excited for her new bike that Santa was going to bring her. After tossing and turning for what seemed like decades, the sunset finally arose and Stephanie ran down the steps to unwrap her new bike with the family. Immediately after she went down the staircase, she found her parents marinated in their own blood, with knife wounds all around their body.

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what happened when the chicken crossed the road? it didn't the hunter shot it

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Two hippies walk into a bar. They are both asked to leave because they are in violation of the 'no shoes, no service' policy.

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A man walked into a bar. He was meeting his friends but was 30 minutes early so he went down the road to buy some food. He had recently began dieting after watching a series of lifestyle programs which informed him of the potential risks involved with high cholesterol and blood pressure levels. He purchased a garden salad and a freshly squeezed orange juice, and made it back to the bar in time to meet his friends.

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what do you get when you you put a knife in a head? a dead body

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yo mamas so old she probably ralises the greater risk of breast cancer in middle age women.

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Horse walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face. The horse unable to understand English shits on the floor and leaves

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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