jasper walks into a bar, he sees an elephant and can't believe his eyes. he says "HORGWARSH!"

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's white and black? Color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Roses are red, Violets are blue, come at me again and I'll punch you

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call a black man eating fried chicken? By his name, which could be John, considering the popularity of said name.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the anti-social man say to a girl Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are red Violets are blue You're parents are dead All your friends are too

thumb_up thumb_down +20

So a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order some wine and have an enjoyable evening.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why doesn't Mexico have a navy? Because cardboard doesn't float!

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do a purple grape and an elephant have in common? They are both purple, except for the elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

whats gayer than 2 homosexuals? 3 homosexuals.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did Billy go into the white van? Because his parents came to pick him up from school.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why can't a T-Rex clap his hands? Because its dead

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? No one, because a hollowed out pineapple carcass would not be able to last longer than a month in that high concentration of sodium.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was Tommy late for school? He got raped by spiderman.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why did nick kiss esther because he cheated

thumb_up thumb_down +24

what do you call a small midget? a smidget.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, monkey do.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the dog get arrested? He didn't the people responsible for causing the dog fight got arrested for animal abuse.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

thumb_up thumb_down +6

whatis worse then tripping over and landing head first in dog shit No alot

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's black and white and red all over? A bloody fight between a black and a white man.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Knock knock. Who isn't there? Not me. Don't come in. I won't.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did the chicken say when it finally crossed the road? - nothing, its a chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops