there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas? A long sleeve shirt

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Your mother is so stupid she couldn't get a passing score on a standardized test.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she has no arms.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? A dead baby causes years of grief and broken families

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light-bulb? I'm melting!

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Two men walk into a bar. Seeing as the first man could have suffered a concussion, and been seriously hurt, The second man ducks to avoid also being hit by the bar.

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A: Whats black and hangs from my tree in my backyard? B: What? A: Blackberries B: Blackberries grow on bushes

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Why did Jimmy lay down? Because he was tired

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The snake had no skatebord to put johnnys refrigirator because the bettles mom had stolen the clowns purse were his parking had been for the airplane higway stop.

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I never knew I was dyslexic. Then one day I showed up to a toga party dressed as a goat.

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You know that song "FIrework" by Katy Perry? Well, I ate a hotdog last night.

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Q: What do you call a grammatically incorrect horse? A: An horse

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Roses are Red Violets are Purple But nothing rhymes with purple.

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What happened to the man who bought his son a birthday gift? He eventually was robbed and shot in the face

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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Why did Susy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? NOT SUSY!

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Why was the alcoholic unable to pass a stool when he sat down on the toilet? Because he did it on the floor.

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What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing, water and sand are incapable of speech. Unless of course you are Harry Potter in which case you can cast a spell on them and turn them into a cat which still couldn't talk and them from there you could wait for them to evolve which doesn't actually exist so you would have to ask God and then you would wait for a few years than they could say hi.

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why did the plane crash because the pilot was a tomato

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How do you confuse a Muslim? - Rub his belly.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Boo Boo Who? Boo Smith

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

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Why aren't dragons real? Because if any animal were to breath fire (let alone have a gland that produced it), they would cease to live for their necks would scorch from the inside out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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