An Irishman walks into a bar. He quickly exits as he thought it was the Polish restaurant located directly nextdoor. He then enters the Polish restaurant and orders a delicious lunch. He tips his waiter 20%.

"Nice pair of crocs" said nobody

What did the Doctor say to the patient. You have AIDS The patient took out a machete and stabbed the Doctor. The Doctor died. Two weeks later, the patient died of AIDS.

What do you get when you cross bread an eagle, a wolf and shark together? I don't know, but I'm pretty sure it will kill all of us!

this is not a joke. jks

What is orange and sounds like a parrot? A Carrot.

Life is like a bridge. You get walked on all your life until you fall apart.

Wanna hear a joke? Niklas Bendter being good at soccer. Wanna hear a funnier joke? Your Mom Wanna hear the funniest joke?

Where did Martha go after the explosion? Everywhere.

What do you call a pickle that is sad? A pickle!????

What's read, round and gets smaller? A baby combing its hair with a potato pearler

I f*cked your mom last night and she liked it. 8====D~~~~

What would George Washington say if he were alive? "Help! im stuck in a coffin!"

a man and his son pull up out side b&q and the man says to his son run in there and get me a black n decker and the boy goes in and is standing in the power tools isle and he looks round and there is a lady standing next to him so he hit her, the woman happened to be black and 2 minutes later a security guard rushes round and says son what did u do that for and the son said my dad told me to come in and get a black n decker!

A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says "Hey, we named a drink after you!". The grasshopper says "What, Dave?"

What is the difference between a circle and a cylinder? dunno

What's brown and sticky? A Mexicans underwear.

What did Petunia say to the other Petunia Hi there Petunia

What's long, hard, and full of seamen... A Submarine

Why did the turtle fall out of the car? It forgot to buckle up

So an alien walks into a bar......... and everyone runs away secreaming because theres an alien in the bar.

so theres a plane, inside the plane are 500 solid bricks one falls out, how many are left? 499 What are the three steps to putting an elephant into a refrigirator? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, close the fridge. What are the four steps to putting a dear in the fridge? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer and then shut the fridge. It's Simba's birthday, what animal isn't there? The deer. its still in the fridge. a lady is walking across a street, she suddenly falls to the ground why? Because the brick hit her in the face. (:

Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a terrorist.

How did the Jew his German neighbor? Every morning the Jew says hello and the German replys hello

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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