So, there's three blondes. Two of them walk into a bar. The third one missed it.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is an object and the black man is a human being.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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why do firemen wear red suspenders. I dont know because they go with there hat.

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a few drinks, and goes home an hour or so later.

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Q How do you make the fire fighter sad? A Kill his dog

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A Man walks into a bar and asks for a shot. The Bartender proceeds to unload a 30 round banana clip into his head, neck, and midsection.

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Whats round, hard, and full of seaman? Well in the context I'm using it in, a submarine, but too the inappropriate mind when spoken out loud, could be registered as the homophone of seaman, semen, which would then lead you too think of male genitalia.

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Why'd Sally fall of the swing? Sally's a fish.

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Why was the emo kid sad? Because he gets raped by his dad every night

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Knock Knock. Did someone outside the front door just say "Knock Knock"?

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Neither does he.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Just open the damn door

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How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved.

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42

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q. a whale walks into a bar. The bartender asks"why are you wailling?" A. I my 3 year-old son died.

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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Did you hear about the kid from Oklahoma? Yeah, he died.

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Q:Why did the little girl jump in the pool and drown? A:because she didn't know how to swim

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What did the water bottle say to the Itunes gift card Nothing,they're both innament object and don't have mouths.

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what did the man say to his boss? Hello boss

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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