What's the difference between a duck A chair Vests have no sleeves

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Q: what do you call a guy with a stolen cat in his pocket A: The police because stealing animals is illegal

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What's worse than getting full-blown AIDS? Nothing.

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What's the longest word in the English language? Tuna. (I lied about it being the longest word in the language.)

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Society.

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Was in a coma, survived trough smoke and mirrors, and I had 3 separated sections of my order in order to test the efficiency of my words, united we are about 6.800.000 people. Excuse my anger below, I mean I was in a coma and ended up on some hard painkillers, and while I am still tapering down on a "totally medicinally safe" dosage of 20 mg valium its a bitch, even for a guy that enjoys a mild painkiller every now and then in order to focus. Excuse my excessive typing, its paincontrol vs the stress and all 64 side effects of valium. I am alive, and my followers know that, I do not mean to brag, but Neronism tends to end up fucked up when I am gone with people trying to live up to what only I can do apparently, so I decided it was time to mash the separate groups together... Btw, we live at point zero now, if you do not know where that is, I can inform you at later time. But be quick about it if you have more questions, we only chat on horsehead due the "discussed hours"

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Why did the blond get fired from her job at the M&M factory? Because she threw out all the M&M's with W's on them.

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Who won the championship last year? There was no championship

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Potato

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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Did you know there was a black man in my family tree? He married my aunt.

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Your momma is so ugly she gave freedy krooger nightmares!

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Yo mama is so hairy, because she's arab.

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a fat black man walks into an aquarium he was quickly shot down because he was mistaken for a whale.

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what do you call a monkey? a monkey

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What's red and creeps up your leg? A homesick abortion.

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Banana

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Your mama so fat, that it's starting to affect her relationship with her husband in a negative or harmful way. (CSC)

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You know why Michael J. Fox makes really good milkshakes? ... because he uses the best ingredients

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Roses are red Violets are blue You touch yourself. I do, too.

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What do you call five black me pushing a car? "Very nice young men who helped me when I broke down," according to my grandmother.

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Why did your ears get blasted with sound? You never turned the volume down..

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Boob Top view B Front view oo Side view b

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how much does a pirate pay for an earing? $2.50

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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