Q: What do you get when you cross and owl with a bungie cord? A: My ass

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I used to be schizophrenic, but we're ok now.

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Why did the mans nuts itch he had crabs

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How do you cause ultimate pain to a imprisoned Jew during the holocaust? Moral: You give him an apple WITH a worm in it.

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what is the differance between a toyata and a van full of dead babies I dont own a toyata

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your neighbour. My neighbour who? Timothy, welcome to the neighbourhood!

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a rabbi,a priest and minister didn't walk into a bar. Bars are for fun and fun is for not completely insane brainwashed people.

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Once there was a giant Pringle. His family was dead, his wife committed suicide. So one day he was walking to work, when he met a genie! The genie granted him three wishes. The Pringle's first wish was to have lots of money. His second wish was to have his wife back. Before he could complete his wishing, he awoke in a hospital where he was hooked up to life support and was in severe pain. His wife wasn't really dead, but he was out drinking and accidentally walked across a motorway and got hit by a huge lorry.

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What's black and looks like Burnt Popcorn? A black man

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Q:If quizes are, "guizicles," then what are tests? A:Who calls quizes, "quizicles?"

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why do people put their pants on in the morning? because their not nudists.

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Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of African decent to sit in towards the front of the bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of European decent.

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How do you get a clown of a swing set U hit it with an ax 2.5 times

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What's black, over twelve inches long, and has a hard time fitting in tight spaces? my double stroller.

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"I just don't understand the difference between yours and mines." "Well, you see, yours belong to you, whereas mines explode when you step on them."

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how do you get a chicken to sleep you slit it"s neck,and feed the body to your pet tiger

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You know George Washington? He died.

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How many Manatees does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, assuming Manatees have hands.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house. No. Neither has he

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what did the joke say to the anti-joke? do you want to fight

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what a tomato would say if his friend would be hit by a car? Nothing because tomatoes can't speak

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Women's rights.

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what do you call it when a leopard starts losing its spots? leopard-osy! submitted by: pukey mcshakes

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women outside of the kitchen

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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