what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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What do you call a man with no legs? Disabled.

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How do you save a black guy from drowning? You don't.

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How many vampires does it take to change a lightbulb. None, Vampires do not exist

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What do you call a black thing hanging from a tree A tire swing

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What is the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A Mexican is a human being of Aztec descent, while a bench is an inanimate object used most frequently as a place to sit.

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How do you get a dog and a baby mixed up? You stir your chili.

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you will like this because i am black.

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What do you call a baby that fell in lava Dead

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Q: Why does it take three Polacks to change a light bulb? A: Because they're so damn stupid.

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What’s the best part about winning a gold medal? Nothing. You’re on acid and staring straight at the sun.

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Parents: What do you want for your birthday? Boy: A yellow ping pong ball. 7th birthday P: What would you like for your birthday son? B: A yellow ping pong ball 13th birthday P: What would you like for you birthday son? B:A yellow ping pong ball. P:Hmm, fine. 17th birthday P: What would you like for your birthday son? B: A yellow ping pong ball. P: That's is I'm getting you a car! Day before 18th the boy drives into a bridge. He lies in his hospital bed and his parents are there. P: What would you like for you birthday tomorrow? B: A yellow ping pong ball. P: Fine. Why do you want these ping pong balls anyway? B: Because. And then he died.

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If you have $5 and Chuck Norris has $5, Chuck Norris now has $10.

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How did the Jews get out of Germany? They didn't..

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What's the difference between a plum and a rabbit? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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guys cmon dont make fun about abbie make fun of josh brown WHAT A NOOB

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Why do black people like bananas? Because bananas have potassium which therefore gives them bigger muscles, which is why they excel at every sport we white people suck at.

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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Man: I'm just popping out to get cigarettes (He never returns.)

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What did the rugby post say to the tree? Good evening George!

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The horse said "nay."

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An Irish man walks into his home and orders a drink.

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Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a truck? No.

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Gay people: "Quit calling Justin Bieber gay, we don't want him either."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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