Here's a joke, a black man walks into a store and buys something. that's it.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a girl with ADD and too much free time? Me

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Once upon a time, a duck named Jim went to work, he went up to the steps to his new job and and he was paid all day to sit in a hot tub. Little did he know it was a boiling pot and he was served at Christmas dinner

thumb_up thumb_down +21

? The person who made that "joke" down there has no life ?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What is a homeless man for Halloween? A garbage bag

thumb_up thumb_down -4

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What rhymes with car? Not kangaroo

thumb_up thumb_down -14

The doctor comes out of the room and tells the new parents that there is good news and bad news. The couple says they want to hear the bad news first. The doctor says "your baby is black." The couple then ask "what is the good news?", the doctor replies "your baby is dead."

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Q: Why can't dinosaurs talk? A: Because they're all dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the crazy asian man say just before he died? He didn't say anything- he was in an 18 month long coma due to a brain stem stroke. He left behind a wife, a 3 year old daughter and a newborn son.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What did the pitcher say to the batter who hit the ball very far? Wow, you hit that ball very far.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Did you hear about the black man who went to college? He made a very successful living for himself despite this rough economy.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what's worse than being hiv+? having full blown aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Tom: So I heard a pretty good Anti-Joke the other day. Jim: Oh, I love those!! What was it? Tom: [says nothing]

thumb_up thumb_down

A woman walks into the bathroom and hears the sound of moaning. Not sure what to do she looks around and sees couples as far as the eye can see. She quickly turns to the woman and man standing next to her and asks what is going on here?! The woman says can't you read this is not a bathroom this is a public sex room! Only an idiot would ask that question. In shock the woman takes another look around and she spots someone she finds familiar. When she walks closer she finds that it is her boyfriend and that he is with another woman. Furious she walks up to him and slaps him in the face. The boyfriend looks at her and says sorry your sex just got old. Furious she says to him we never had sex!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Impossible, non-living organisms are incapable of moving and babies lack the brain capacity to understand how to screw in a light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? WHO CARES!!

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Q: Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? A: Oh, I'm terribly sorry sir, I’ll replace this with a fresh bowl of soup and I’ll have a word with the manager to see if we can deduct a sum from your bill for the inconvenience we have caused you

thumb_up thumb_down +4

My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what do you get when you mix a bever and a racoon? A bevecoon!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why can't the T-rex clap? Because it's extinct

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why couldn't the prostitute count to 70? She grew up in a poor family and couldn't pay for a good education.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the guy who dropped his iPhone do? He went out and bought a knew one.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops