What happened when the wife refused to make her husband a sandwich? Since he was paralyzed from the neck down, he starved to death.

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Where did Sally go when the bomb hit her? Everywhere

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Why are Chinese people only allowed one child? Because their government states so.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To have a shit.

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Hillary Clinton

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What is a dog's favorite color? Dogs are colorblind and can not see colors.

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Q: Whats red and circular? A: A red circle

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why did the pirate have a patch? to crack the software he had downloaded

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why didthe man's computer crash? the man has a serious porn addiction

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was Friday night (or Halloween or St. Patty's Day) and the chicken was at a party. He got totally drunk, and then got the bright idea that it would be okay to drive home. On a rural two-lane highway, his vehicle careened into the oncoming traffic lane, and then the ditch, thus crossing the road. Fortunately, he walked away with only a few scratches. However, he was cited for wreckless driving, and got a DUI as well.

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How do you find out if your son is ok? Ask him.

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an asian walks into a bar and does his math homework then he gets raped by a horse

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Why is the Holocaust/Worm in your apple joke the highest rated joke on Anti Jokes? Most of the viewers of this website clicked on a thumbs up symbol directly below the joke, which by the coding of this website triggered an algorithm that caused the number adjacent to this thumbs up button to increase and also caused the joke to appear higher on the list of most popular jokes.

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Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

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What do you call a man wearing a hockey mask and holding a chainsaw? A Lumberjack, I lied about the hockey mask

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Knock-Knock Who's there? The The Who? The Beatles!

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Why did Hitler kill himself? He saw his gas bill.

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Q: How do you know what will happen when the world willl end? A: by experience

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Why was the chocolate black? It's not black you idiot, its white

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What did the Muslim say to the Jew? Nothing, as he has been deaf since birth and is incapable of forming coherent speech.

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how do you remove a black man from a car? Wash the bumper

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What is the quickest way to speed up your 70 year old husband’s heart rate? Extract of foxglove is a very effective blocker of the parasympathetic nervous system, and since the parasympathetic nervous system is responsible for slowing the heart, this would lead to an increase in heart rate. However, it is very dangerous to use such chemicals without advice, and therefore it is better to seek an examination and, if necessary, a prescription from a qualified GP.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I don't know, i was wondering if you knew.

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What do a large mouth bass and my wife have in common? They are both in the Animal kingdom, both are vertebrates and they share many other traits such as eyes, a notochord, and epaxial/hypaxial musculature.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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