Two ducks are in a pond. The one duck asks, "Can you pass the soap?" The other duck says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?"

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What do you call a tree with no branches? A stick.

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When Santa got stuck up the chimney he began to shout.. But he didn't shout for long as he soon succumbed to the toxic smoke and died of carbon monoxide poisoning

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can i have a cookie no diabeto!

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A Fish walks into a bar. It died of oxygen starvation.

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a piece of string walks into a bar and the bartender says “sorry we dont serve your kind here” so the string goes outside twists himself round and ruffles up one of his ends then walks back into the bar, the bartender says “aren’t you the piece of string i just kicked out?” the string then replies “i’m a frayed knot”

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There was a jew, a german and you Despite you were there, the holocaust was You should feel guilty

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Why did the man put his money in the freezer? Perhaps he didn't believe in banks.

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What is a black guy's favorite hobby? Stamp collecting.

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what did the green grape say to the purple grape? i'm green.

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My Joke Is The Persons Below Me I I V

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womens rights!

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah!

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There was a kid and one day he didnt do his homework...he failed.

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How do you piss off a redneck? You wait until he is done fucking his sister and then you steal his truck.

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knock knock... who's there? uninterrupted cow uninterrupted cow who?? exactly....

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If I had a gun with only 2 bullets, and was in a room with Hitler, Osama Bin Laden, and you; i would shot Hitler and Osama because they committed terrible crimes

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Did you hear the joke about the vacuum? It sucks.

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Thumbs this down

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing chair ? Gravity.

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What do you get when you cross a vampire and Adolf Hitler? A socially unacceptable and awkward hybrid of two unrelated, technically dead things.

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What is the most important thing to have during a zombie apocalypse? Oxygen.

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How many blondes does it take to change a diaper? About a thousand

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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