why was tommy so sad?............because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe? Rober-to. What do you call a black guy with a big toe? Tobe Bryant

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The awkward moment when you notice its 2012 and we're all gonna die, so you buy and elephant and name him John.

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Roses are red And heres something new Violets are violet They're not friggin blue

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How do fish die in water? The BP oil spill

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A man walks into a bar his alcoholism is tearing his family apart

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What's worse than stepping on a Lego? Leukemia

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What's the best part about the school burning down? All the children trapped inside never had to grow up

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why did no one like Ashley? because she was a bitch!

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A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother than explains to the daughter the logistics of sex. The daughter seems to comprehend and walk away leaving the mother to cook.

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Why was Dr Who unable to travel back in time using the TARDIS? Because it's just a television prop. It isn't a real time machine.

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What's big, brown, and barks? Tree

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This guy goes to the ball game. He waits in line at the concession stand and gets a footlong hot dog and a giant orange soda. Then he makes his way around to his section of the stadium, and works his way to his seat, which is in the center of the row. Right when he's about to take a bite of his hot dog, when he hears someone in the seats way up behind him yell "Hey! Mike!" He sets down his hot dog, and sets down his giant orange drink, stands up and turns around, scanning the crowd. Eventually he sits back down. He picks up his hot dog, picks up his giant orange drink, and is just about to take a bike when he hears it again, someone way up behind him yelling "Hey! Mike!". So, he sets down his hot dog, sets down his giant orange drink, stands up, turns around, and scans the hundreds of faces in the seats behind him. After a while, he sits back down. Then, right when he's about to bite into his hot dog, he hears someone behind him yelling "Mike! Hey, Mike!" He sets down his hot dog, sets down his giant orange drink, stands up, turns around, cups his hands around his mouth and yells as loud as he can, "My name's not Mike!"

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Q: A black man, A Mexican, And a Asian are in a car. Who Is Driving? A: The Cop.

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Charmander is red,Squitle is blue,If you were a pokemon i'd choose you.

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Augustus was touring his Empire and noticed a man in the crowd who bore a striking resemblance to himself. Intrigued, he asked: ‘Was your mother at one time in service at the Palace?’ ‘No, your Highness,’ he replied, ‘but my father was.

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What is worse than falling into a pit of needles? being lit on fire and then falling into a pit of needles I imagine

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A man was wacking it and then his internet went down he then cut off his own balls then his internet came back

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Camon is to Jerry Sandusky as Cole Ryder is to Will Higgins!

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Ding-Dong.............no knock-knocking required

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Hey I'm You're mother..... Haha Jk you're adopted

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Who like vibrating dildos? Cammy

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rarw

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catastrophic anthropogenic global warming

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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