If yesterday was friday, today is saturday, what day is it tomorrow? sunday

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Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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I am awesome, you are not, i am awesome, you smoke pot!

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There are too many people in this bar, a man says. He then walks out of the bar and proceeds to visit his grandmother. Orange.

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what do you call a black man flying a plane? a pilot you racist.

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My jeans

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Why wasn't Steve paying attention in class? Because he was dead.

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What did the mormon say when he complemented the gay person? Nothing, because mormons hate gays.

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The adventures of HAROLD THE MONGOOSE: Harry dug a hole. He did not like that hole so he dug a new one. He liked that hole so he did not dig another one. Harry slept on a rock. He did not like that rock. So he smashed it with a ham. Harry found a new rock. He liked that rock so he didn't smash it with a ham. Harry ate a snake. He did not like that snake so he regurgitated it. Harry ate another snake. He liked that snake so he did not regurgitate it. Harry encountered a bush. He did not like that bush. Unfourtianately for Harry, that Bush became president.

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How to confuse a blonde. Buy 14 monkeys dye them purple and orange and hide them in her wardrobe

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What's worse then a dead baby? a dead baby in a blender

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Q: A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? A:They both take turns, because they are driving across the country and it would be hard for one of them to drive the entire way.

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did you hear about the 2 car pile up by wal-mart? 50 mexicans dies

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Q. What is the fastest animal in the world? A. An Ethiopian chicken.

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What do the words lightbulb and lightweight have in common? The word light is in both words. Other than that absolutely nothing.

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Why didn't the politically-correct lawyer laugh at his black neighbour's jokes? He had an incapacitating malady of oralfacialoaralysis rendering him unable to laugh or smile

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I have had depression for several years and have recently been diagnosed with diabetes. I therefore drink diet soda and have sugar free snacks. Which leads to diahrea. Lots of diahrea.

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My therapist says that I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that!

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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I did not thumb this up myself!... *click* Whoops! At least I am not that douche Moral Man eh? Moral: Whoops! Now if I just don't accidentally type in the answer and...

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the fat lady said that it runs in the family im pretty sure nothing RUNS in her family

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The only difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer is the taste.

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Why did the girl cross the road? To get run over by a bus.

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Whats worse than losing your car keys? Watching your 4 year old son get visciously raped by a 20stone sex hungry pedophile and knowing you cant do anything about it because the sex hungry pedophile is your dad and he is the alpha male of the family so he has full mating rights.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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