Two men sit down at a bar. First man: I hear you're having a baby! Second man: My wife had a miscarriage. First man: Oh.... The talking ceased

thumb_up thumb_down +24

My mother-in-law is so fat that I sometimes worry my wife will look just like her after she gives birth.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A mushroom walks into a bar and the bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." and then the mushroom walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

yo mama so fat, she weighs 478 pounds and is in high risk of cardiovascular dieses and/or heart failure.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: Depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

How do you make a tissue dance? Blow a little boogie in it!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Last night, I went fishing, caught a fish, brought it home, grilled it, ate it, and went to bed.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

There once was a boy. On his birthday, he got a small puppy. The puppy was white and had big eyes. Boy loved his puppy and the puppy loved the boy.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What happens when a scientist tells you a lie? It's not true.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call your mom after she brings a guy home from a bar? A very caring woman because she doesn't want him driving drunk.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What is worse the the Holocaust? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What is the same about a plum and an elephant? They're both grey except the plum

thumb_up thumb_down +11

So Bob walked into his house after a long day at work and layed a rope on his bed. A few hours later his wife came home and found a beautiful tire swing in their backyard but her husband shot him self in his throat.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the girl say when she was getting raped? "Stop, you're hurting me."

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Ask me if I'm well Are you well? No

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Your mama is so stupid that she thought Brendan Fraser was a good actor.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's worst then getting struck by lightening? your face.whats worse then seeing your face? NOTHING

thumb_up thumb_down -32

When you aren't feeling well, you should see a doctor like this: https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS5u4lryU5PzmLUKCGEKZgDWMeQ_96VLEKFGu7Wvk-4M7UXHkOXBw

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I was just thinking in something I swear ... I am still Just, wait, i'll be good

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what do you call the head-less man sitting on your porch? By what ever his name is!!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Chuck Norris." "Chuck Norris who?" "NOBODY SAYS 'CHUCK NORRIS WHO'!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops