Why is NO ONE on Facebook when I AM?! Because you have no friends... on Facebook... ... Wow.

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How do you make a girl scout cry? Steal her cookies

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cancer

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Boy: Is your body from McDonalds ? Girl: Aww is it because your lovin' it? Boy: No, it's because your greasy and fat!

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Did you hear the one about the kinky dominatrix? No. Damn. I really wanted the details.

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So a mouse walks into a bar....the bartender immediatly kills it because he doesn't want another C rating by the sanitation department.

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Q: How do you stop a hijacked plane? A: The plane can't be hijacked because the pilots cabin is not accessable until the plane lands.

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Four brothers joined the army and were deployed to Iraq. Two of them committed suicide.

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One day my dog ran away. We drove around for a long time looking for it.

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I was walking down the street the other day And I pushed a child under a bus

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Neither did she.

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What smells like death and makes kids cry? Dead animal

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A man quites his job to open a coffee shop which has been a dream of his for years, The shop does well with a healthy supply of customers and a steady income,The man is now financially stable.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Nobody. Nobody who?

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A man walks into a bar. Cool story, bro.

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What's dumber than a black guy that can't read? Two black guys that can't run with TVs.

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What did the alcoholic say to the blind man? Nothing. But he beat his wife and kids savagely.

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Q: What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. At what point would a chicken consciously know it was crossing a road.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One asks the other "Isn't it hot in here?" To which the other replies, "Holy ****, a talking muffin!"

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An asian woman was driving along the freeway one day when a police officer pulled her over and arrested her, The officer arrested her because she had killed her husband 5 years ago and she thought she had gotten away with it.

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How did the chicken cross the road? He went to the crosswalk so all the cars had to stop for him.

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Why was the child in the clown's car? Because the clown was a serial killer and abducted the child while he was at soccer practice, the child then raped and murdered

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whats worse than find a worm in your apple? finding the holocaust in your apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops