Your mom is so stupid she makes stupid people look not stupid.

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Two gay guys walk into a bar. You think the second one would notice...

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Hi

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How do you wake up lady GaGa? You po po po poker face!

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What's red and checkered and tells you to turn your music down? Michael

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is dead, and thereby lacks the necessary motor control.

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How do you make a penguin fly? You strap it to the roof of a plane.

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Q: Why did they bury the Indian? A: Because he was dead.

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roses are blue violets are red dont judge me

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What is the difference between a bright red Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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What did the white cop say to the black thug? he didn't... he got shot before he could say anything

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How do you stop a man from jumping off a building? Push him off a building.

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A guy walks into a bra. The woman screams and calls 991.

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what do you call a joke that is not a joke? not a joke

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Why was the little girl lying on the floor? Because she had no arms or legs.

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What happens when you are caught in the serious offense of killing somebody with intent? You get in trouble.

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Why did the black woman have an affair? Because she had an unsatisfying sex life, her old husband was boring, and she was curious about being with other men.

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What is white on the inside and red on the outside? An apple.

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How many women's right's leaders does it take to change a light bulb? None. They can't change anything.

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how do you put a giraffe in a fridge? open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door. how do you put an elephant in a fridge? open the door, take out the giraffe, put the elephant in and close the door. the lion king is holding a conference in the jungle and all the animals turn up except for one, which animal is missing? the elephant, it's in the fridge. you come across a river you need to cross, but it is infested with man-eating crocodiles, how to you cross the river without dying? just swim across, all the crocodiles are at the conference.

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So a man was walking down the street with bananas in his ears when he saw one of his friends coming the other way. When they met up the one friend asked, "Hey you know you've got bananas in your ears?" To which the man replied "What? I can't hear you, I have bananas in my ears."

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roses are red, violets are blue, im not going out with someone that belongs in a zoo.

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Why can't Ray Charles drive? Because he's dead.

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What do you call a barrel full of monkeys? A game, you idiot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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