I was raped the other day... I still did more work than the bitch

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Why was Jim fired from his job at the sperm bank? Continual absenteeism and inconsistent work.

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Why did the woman fall off her bike? She got hit by a car door

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That awkward moment when... Your mom is a guy.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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A Sloth runs...

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Yo momma's so ugly, she decided to get plastic surgery and now has much higher self-esteem.

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me!

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Q: What do you get when you cross a cactus and a platypus? A: I was wondering the same thing.

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Whats black and yellow and makes you laugh? A bus full of niggers driving of a cliff

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Dad always said that laughter was the best medicine. Maybe that's why he died of tuberculosis.

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A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead walk into a bar. There is also a woman with black hair standing outside, and the man next to her is bald.

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? Pay a reasonable sum of money.

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I drink poodle juice for breakfast lunch and dinner I was then turned into a tree

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What's worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings. What's worse than 2 bee stings? The Hollocaust. What's worse than the Hollocaust? 3 bee stings.

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I know animal testing is cruel, but my dog did really well on the SATs.

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Why did the two black men break into a bank with guns? It was being robbed by a white man and they were police officers.

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Q: What did the Miracle Whip say when the refrigerator door was opened? A: Nothing. Miracle Whip cannot speak.

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How can you tell the difference between a black man and a white man? Quite easily actually.

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Why cant you find your handle? Because YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!

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What's the difference between a mouse and a dinosaur? A lot.

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A Priest, A Rabbi, and an Imam walk into a bar. They promptly sit down and have a friendly theological discussion.

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Why did a boy fall off the swing at a playground? He did not have any arms.

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Roxanne's hat looks like a condom

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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