What is the difference between a urologist and a can of chili? One is hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine.

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What is the biggest lie in the world? I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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The Labour Party.

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A bus crashes and everybody dies.

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Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

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What do you call a dozen Muslims waiting to board a train? Passengers...you racist.

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"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

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Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

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Thats what she said

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Roses are red, Violets are red, OH SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE

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Why did the boy give the girl flowers? Because her parents died in a car crash and he felt bad.

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Why did the rabbit cross the road? I don't know, I was asking you.

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why does Tom Sawyer like apples? He likes their flavor

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Emergency call: - Please help, my little son swallowed a condom! 5 minutes later - It is ok, I found another one.

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You know what topping goes bad with ice cream? Chloroform

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? because it got shot before it could get there.

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I can't hear music. I am a sentence.

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how do you tune a piano, you dont, piano tuners tune a piano, I wasn't talking to you!

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How did the plumber fix the leaky faucet? Trick question. The plumber is actually an iguana.

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Little Miss Muffett sat on her tuffet eating her curds and whey along came her food allergies and she died

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A blonde, a brunnette, and a red head all jump from the top of a building. They all land at the same time because of Newton's 3rd Law

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whats worse than getting a fail on your math test? Getting shot.

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Yo Mama is so poor, she can barely keep a steady income and cannot support her family of 10 even with support of food stamps and wel fair and will probably die soon due to diabetees because she wasted her food stamps on food that is bad for the average persons diet and due to a lack of exercise. I am worried about her she seems very depressed due to her wight and fatality outlooks and you should probably direct her to your local clinic to make sure she is OK and try to help her with her weight mangment problems. I am scarred for you and your family and I wanted to make sure you are ok and are doing well in education and are on track for a very bright future probably going to a universety which you will pay for with student loans from a bank in the local area. I am extremely worried so are you OK with all of those things I said before and if you are not I can help you get onto the right track and your mom can have a happier longeer life filled with fun happinnes wisdom life and other things like peace and forgivness for all people should get that it is part of our natural human rights and we deserve such things I speak of. Are you ok and does your life apply to thing things I have said in the past couple of motivational minuites. ''get the fu^k off porch''

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Why did the blonde fall down the stairs? Somebody tripped her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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