What did the wall say to the other wall? I didn't say anything because it isn't living and it can't talk because it is impossible.

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Why did the chicken go cluck cluck oh baby yeah balloon your mama oops did kangaroo say? I had sex with your wife and stole your car keys.

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How many nazis does it take to kill 1.2billion Jews? No one cares anymore it was 60 years ago \(._.\) (/._.)/

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Your Momma's so ugly, she went to the grocery store, and went she got out of her car, people said, "You're ugly."

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels

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Whats the difference between Rolf Harris and a pedophile Whoops I didn't quite think this one through

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Wanna hear a joke? No.

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Whats worse than dieing of Alhzymers? Anal Rape

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What did the fat girl use on Wii Fit? Cheat Codes.

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A black man, a small child, and a priest were all standing in line. They were all checking in the hospital after being in a 3 car pileup

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why was the boy sad...because scooby doo shot him with a harpoon

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What do you call a retarded black man? His name

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was tired of this joke.

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Why did the clown have a heart attack? He had long term heart problems.

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Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: My friends told me not to. Teacher: So if your friends tell you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it? Student: Well, it all depends on if I land on a fat kid. Like Chubb. Chubb: Yeah, I know, my eating habit, i-i-its a big problem. -Payden R.

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Why does Michael Jackson have difficulty playing chess? Because he's dead, and if there is an afterlife, we don't actually have the ability to know that it is possible to play chess there.

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what goes round , and round , and croaks? a blender in a frog.

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Most adults can swim. Current government studies are investigating similar skills in babies. With unnecessarily large pools.

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what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

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yo mama so fat she died from a heart attack

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whats the strongest muscle the man who can't talk has. definatly not his mouth

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Why did one sausage become scared of the other sausage? The first Sausage said " Hello " and the second Sausage said " OMG a talking sausage!!!" ...Jk sausages dont talk.

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An insane individual walks into a bank and asks for $500. The teller refuses since he doesn't have an account, so the individual pulls out a gun and asks the teller again. The teller presses the silent panic button, causing the cops to show up and arrest the gunman, but not before he manages to shoot the teller and the small child standing next two counters over.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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