A man walks into a bar and orders two shots the bartender then picks up his shotgun and gives it to him

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Q:How do you make an accountant cry ? A: You kill his whole family

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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- Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - KGB wh........... *slap* - vwe vwill ask the questions!!!!!!! - Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - Mom the KGB is here again....... - i dont care just answer the damn door - 5 seconds later nobody answers the door....... u here a crash and all of a sudden big men run in with guns - one comes over and slaps the mother while he continues to say " the KGB vwill vwait for no one!!!!!" - every body in the house is shot and and the KGB goees on to tlive normal lives........ for the KGB

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There was an english man, and irishman and an pakistani sitting in a bar. What a wonderful example of racial & cultural differences bing put to one side while they are socialising in a friendly environment.

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What did the penguin say to the other penguin? Nothing, penguins don't talk.

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A man walks into a vagina. The man, expecting a holiday inn, is very confused, and later gets mauled by five bears, who mistook his scent for a fish.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? If you don't know the answer by now, there's something wrong with you.

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what is behind your butt? DEEZ NUTS

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Did you know that Hellen Keller had a roller coaster in her backyard? Neither did she

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The hippo's an African beast, Who notably is quite obese, Quite boorish and mean And never too lean And poops in the rivers, at least...

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Q: Whats blue and white and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A: A tree wearing a denim jacket.

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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Why are objects in your mirror closer than they appear? Because they are closer than they appear.

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The bear woke up after his long hibernation of the winter. "Boy, am I hungry!" The bear wandered around and ate some berries. "These blackberries are too bitter and unripe for my taste, I'll go eat something else." He stumbled upon a honeybee hive and took some honey out and ate it. He was swarmed and stung by many of those bees. "That wasn't my favorite batch of honey, I'm still pretty hungry, let me go find some other food. He came across a cabin in the woods. "There maybe some food in there." To some, this was known as the Northern Vermont Massacre. It was a tragic happening. The 7 membered family, the Hernandez family, all died that day. The bear chase all of the adult and children and the house and brutally ate them.

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What did one deer say to the other? Nothing. The second deer was killed while they were eating and now the first deer is scarred dot life.

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I heard that the Boston marathon was a BLAST!

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Yes, it's actually very nice.

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How do you tell if a black man is ok? Poke it with a very long pole and keep your distance...

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how do you torched helen Keller? put her Ina round room and tell her the bathroom is around the corner

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A man walks into a bar... ...because he is blind.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he lost his grip on the branch and was unable to reach another before reaching the ground.

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a man walks into a bar. ouch.

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What did the duck say when it saw a puddle? Nothing.Ducks are uncapable of speaking human speech.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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