What's the difference between a jazz musician and a cheese pizza? A cheese pizza is a food and a jazz musician is a person.

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A woman had a dream. She followed this dream and completed all the goals she had set in life and was excessively happy. Then she woke up and her original suspicions were confirmed...it was a dream.

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so a man goes to jurrasic park and sees two dinosaurs fighting. he shits himself.

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How do you get a nun pregnant? Screw her.

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poop

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After the haitian revolution, Haiti lived happily ever after, Until god smited them with a devastating natural disaster

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Dick spice

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A: Knock, knock. B:Who's there? A: It's your neighbor, Sam. B: Oh, well my extended family is over for dinner at the moment. Would you mind coming back later? A: I suppose that would be alright.

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Why did the polar bear die? Global warming.

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A lobster walks up to an octopus. What does he say? Nothing. Lobsters cannot talk.

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I went to church.. i didn't get raped. I went to school... I didn't get raped. I went into a back alley... I didn't get raped. I went home... I didn't get raped. Today was better than yesterday...

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what did Russell wilson get for Christmas a seahawk..

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What's worse than being caught in a downpour? Having your kneecaps ripped out of their sockets.

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What did the man with five penises say? I have 5 penises.

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- I got kicked out of the library today. - why? - because I put the women's rights book in the fiction section

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Three black men go to the basketball courts one day hoping to play some ball. On the way there they see a homeless man with a sign that says "Homeless. Anything will help." However, since they were on there way to play ball, none of them found it necessary to bring cash, thus resulting in them walking by the homeless man without giving him any money.

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Killing people is not illegal just ask a soldier

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Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk.

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why did the baby cry? Someone threw a brick at his head.

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why did the ginger start crying. because people through bricks at him!

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What did one rock say to the other rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk, idiot.

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What's worse then finding a repeated joke on antijokes? Finding a real joke.

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brainfart

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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