What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Your mom is so fat that when she steps on the scale, it displays a very large number.

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I slept with a girl with aids and now I do and so does everybody else I have sex with

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What the heck are you gonna do if you're on a picnic and have an ice cream and then the ants crawl on the ice cream, what are you gonna do? You're gonna eat the ants because it's made out of protein.

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I like my women like I like my coffee... In a cup.

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What do you get when Chuck Norris meets Chuck Norris? A bad joke.

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Q: Whats better than not being a Jew? A: Being a Jew.

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You know what's funny? Lot's of things.

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Q.) What did the young child of a highly idiosyncratic family do when he heard the fire-alarm going off unexpectedly in his house? A.) He started to panic since he hadn't received any portions of formal insturction in the art of, "Stop, drop and roll", prior to the moment of the lamentable catastrophe. I think that we should blame his parents/teachers immediately... *Sigh*

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What's the richest fish in the sea? The one you threw a quarter at.

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Why did the lion eat food Because seaweed is green

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why did the plane crash? because fenton was driving it..."THE DEER HAD TO DIE"

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roses are red poo is poo

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Your mama's so stupid she brought syrup to the quidditch world cup because she knew there would be quaffles!

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Why wouldn't Julius Caesar like olives on his pizza? Because he's dead.

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What's the difference between a woman with an IQ of 160, and a man who is mentally challenged? Although being a much easier potential victim, no one has raped the mentally challenged man.. yet.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? A catfish could never pass the LSAT because it is unable to perform high-level critical thinking.

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You know what's funny about AIDS? Nothing.

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What was Helen Keller's favourite colour? None, due her disability she was unable to see colours...

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I just flew in from Chicago and boy are my legs cramped

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On the next line im going to write a joke: George W. Bush

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Yo Mama so stupid because she's been addicted to marijuana since she was a teenager, and has lost many brain cells. Resulting in her forgetting simple things like your birthday, her own name, etc. She has also developed lung cancer. She's predicted to die in two months if she continues to smoke as she does now.

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Q.If you are European in the bathroom, what are you in the kitchen? A. A woman.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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