TWIX PAUSE!

A woman tells her boyfriend that shes going shopping. Later that day the boyfriend sees her in an alley giving a blow job to a stranger so he says "What are you doing here?"

A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you've been denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

What did the man say when he lost his keys? I lost my keys. What did the man say when he saw an elephant in the distance? There is an elephant in the distance.

Long joke Your such a downey

Why did Sally drink water? Because she wanted to take pills and kill herself.

two pigs in a bath one says to the other can you pass me the soap..the other replies..do I look like a typewriter!?

A man and his son cross the street, the man hears a screaming noise and ignores it, the man gets across and notice his wife missing...

What's worse than farting in a silent class room? Denying it and farting a second time.

what do you call a man with no arms or legs? numerous abusive terms as you kickk him to death.

this is an anti joke.... Get it yet

whats the differences between an atari and a xbox 360 i don't know i'm not a video game nerd

Why was Carlos fired? Because he stole and smelled of weed.

What's worse than a worm in your apple? The holocaust What's worse than the holocaust? Two worms in you apple what worse than 2 worms in your apple? Two holocausts

A monkey and his owner walk into a bar they sit down at the bar... I dont know the rest of the joke but your moms a whore

How do you confuse Helen Keller? You don't. She's dead.

A dyslexic man walked into a bra

justin littleton being sucessful

Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Because you touch yourself at night.

there was a guy who wanted to be bad and have bitches but he died from all the smoking and drinking and went to hell for eternal damnation

Why did Mufasa miss his doctor's appointment? Because he was trampled to death by wildebeest

I've just been struck by an enormous bolt of lightning. I am covered in boils and my house is full of frogs. I strongly recommend that when referring to God, always use the upper case 'H' on all personal pronouns.

What's clear and wet? water

what did the downsindrome get for christmas?? A: Aids and a Dead wife

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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