How did the carpenter do on his exam? Poorly so his parents killed him.

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Why didn't the little boy believe in Santa Clause? Because' he saw his parents putting presents under the tree, and saw his over weight father eat all the cookies.

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why did the white man walk into the bar? He was thirsty

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a sledgehammer. The other one's a watermelon

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Why did the blond play Russian roulette? She is very poor and needs the money so she can feed her son.

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what did the orphan say to the adults wanting to adopt him? i hope u will provide well living conditions because i have lost both of my parents and am forced to live off one meal a day

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a tiger swims into the indian ocen and eats a tuna. the tiger shortly dies

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Why did lisa fall of her bike? Because her dad threw a refrigerator at her. -JCB

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What do you get when you add a cucumber some vinegar some salt and you get..... Macaroni and cheese

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Chuck Norris once punched a horse in the chin. Nearby people were disgusted at this act and immediately reported him for animal abuse. Today he is in prison

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When do scientologists go to church? When they are done looking at porn.

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Roses are grey, Violets are black, I have Alzheimer's, Barthtub.

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What does D.N.A. stand for? Deoxyribonucleic Acid

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Roses are red violets are blue make me a sandwhich so i can eat it

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me!

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What's worse then biting into a apple and finding a worm? I can't think of anything worse.

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Roses are red violets are blue we're stuck together like superglue roses go brown violets go darker cut the crap and the stupid laughter...I just went through a breakup

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A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

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JUSTIN BEING SMART

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Why did Chuck Norris go to Chuck E Cheeses? Because his friend wanted to go.

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The other day I was talking to this guy... Nice guy

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Your mother is so fat, she is dying due to obesity and it would be utterly disgusting to make fun of anyone in that situation.

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Why isn't this a joke? Because it's not.

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What is both bold and brash? Fox

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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