Whats The difference between a soccer mom and a pit bull? One's a dog ones a human. 363\

An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have a pleasant evening as they talk to each other about their day over a relaxing drink.

Three blind men walk into a bar, and, no... wait, sorry just one; so one blind man walked into a bar, and... uh, okay, so it was actually more of a small post. This is pretty much just a plausible, yet unfortunate event. My bad.

What did the cop say to his belly? "Hey in there!"

Knock, knock. Who's there? FBI. The female body inspectors? No, the female bawdy inspectors.

What do you say to a blind man in a sunglasses store? Nothing. Why do you feel the need to bother strangers while you needlessly shop at your local merchandise outlet?

Why did the Teacher cry? Because he was sad.

My name is Jacob Mckeand and my penis is as long as Mr. Macs hair.

Q What did Stevens mum say when he asked to be an astronaut A no your heads too big

What did the little boy get from his parents on Christmas? Nothing. His parents died 2 nights before in a tragic car crash.

What's tall, has a really long neck, and eats leaves? My tall vegan neighbor's giraffe

what is the difference between a car salesman and a lawyer? a car salesman sells cars to people while a lawyer is an expert in law.

what do you call a black man flying a plane? a pilot. what do you call a woman flying a plane? 9/11.

What do u call something that's sticky and in a stick form? A glue stick :)

Why is it so hard to cook vegetables? The wheel chair won't fit in the oven.

An early Jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody and then delivered by railcar to a camp where he and other persecuted minorities are deliberately imprisoned in a relatively small space with inadequate facilities where they await their mass execution.

why did the little boy cry about his dog, it was hit by a train.

Yo momma so old some said act ur age and she dies

Why was Dr Who unable to travel back in time using the TARDIS? Because it's just a television prop. It isn't a real time machine.

Alright alright Tifa, you look totally different from your drawn identical twin. And yeah I could have been a bit more subtle, don't you worry, I have a special knack for SPAMMING COMMENTS INTO THE ABYSS! I mean sheesh you where pretty open about it earlier, and you said you did not give a damn about what random people thought... Moral: But yeah, I can do better than that, I just do not want to, no seriously, if you are going to go feeling ashamed, then I have failed you.

What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

Things i like to do when im bored; chase after ostriches take major dumps masturbate give myself major erections EJ

chuck noris- can swim through land god- can walk on watter i- can run on air

What did Santa call the prostitute? Nothing. Santa isn't real.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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