Your mom is so fat that she turns "One Size Fits All" to "One Size Fits Most"

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock knock Who's there? A Jehovahs Witness

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you get a baby out of a blender? Tortilla Chips

thumb_up thumb_down +70

What happened when Dave tried to break the record for most marshmallows in the mouth at once? He choked and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the zuccini fly? I was in an acid trip.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why did the frog cry? Because he didn't get a message

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you do when life hands you lemons? Go home, look for the ingredients on which to make proper, delicious lemonade. Afterward, I would go in the front yard, make a stand, then make a sign that says $1.00 lemonade. Then you know make millions on your master-mind plan that no one else ever thought of.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's white and black? Color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

How do you get a priest to cry? Stab him.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man walks into a bar. Several hours later he staggers out and drives into an oncoming school bus, killing all occupants. He survives to live with the grief for the rest of his life and attempts to commit suicide several times.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

"You know what sucks?" "Vaccuumes?" "You know what metaforically sucks?" "Black holes?" "You know what just isn't cool?" "Lava?"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

"The only thing worse than being talked about is getting AIDS." -Oscar Wilde

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems, nice tits

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One of them I can whack with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a bird with wings? A bird

thumb_up thumb_down +170

42

thumb_up thumb_down +88

q. why did the guy forget what he did at the paty last night? a. because he had short term memory loss

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Did you hear about the guy with seven fingers? You should, because almost everybody has seven fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a Mexican in the sand? A churro! (not trying to be racist, I'm even Mexican)

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the Muslim man burn the American flag? The flag had touched the ground, which, by tradition, means it has to be disposed. And the proper way of disposing it is by burning.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's black and white and red all over. An interracial suicide pact.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

I went to a restaurant, but after I ate the food felt sick, then I remembered that I ordered penis with cum Popsicles so I knew it couldn't be the food

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the man die in a car crash? Answer: He was not fallowing the traffic laws and therefore risking the life of himself and others. This may have resulted from the possibility that he was under the influence of alcohol, he was under the influence of drugs, he was emotionally unstable from a bread up, he was emotionally unstable from because of an abusive family, he was emotionally unstable from losing his job, he had an abusive childhood, he was emotionally impaired, he was high from lack of oxygen, he wanted to wear a blindfold, he didn't like his car, liked to spin the steering wheel a lot, he thought the gas was the break, or he just didn't like traffic laws.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops