A woman is carried out of a bar.

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what did Sandra bullock say to Jesse James? I hate your fickin a**!!:)

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My son lost his first tooth today...so proud. Took my punch like a champ

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"How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door." "How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door." "The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend.... except one. Which one?" "The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator." "There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat." "You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting."

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Whats worse than 1 bee sting... 2 bee stings Whats worse than 2 bee stings... The hollacaust Whats worse than the hollacaust... 3 BEE STINGS!!!

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Get in the van.

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How did the girl cross the road? --she didn't, she died trying because she was blind and didn't see the sign that said "Don't Walk"

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How many people live in China? At least ten.

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Why did the cat cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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your momma so ugly even she wouldnt date herself.

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Why did the police officer pull over the black person? He made a traffic infraction.

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Whats the difference between a hoover and a harley? one is a vacuum, and the other is a motorcycle.

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A man walks into a bra, he is an alcoholic and is destroying his family

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What did the Golden Retriever say when asked about the meaning of life? woof.

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I'm Polish.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? About 800 pounds

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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What would you call Kenny Dalgleish if he was black? Depends on the situation. In a formal environment you would call him Mr Dalgleish, in an informal one it would be acceptable to call him Kenny, Kenneth or just Ken.

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I took a shower yesterday. You have no idea how hard it was sneaking that thing out of Home Depot.

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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roses are red violets are blue wanna hear a joke? WNBA....

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to the one below me. YEAH RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!

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Patient: Doctor, it hurts when I run, I might have arthritis. Doctor: Let me check.... 5 minutes later... Doctor: It turs out you have 3 bullets in your legs. Patient: Ohhh, I get it now.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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