An aspiring lawyer walks into a Bar. He will find out if he passed in a few months.

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Your mother is so fat, when she dives into a pool, the on duty life guard blows his whistle to get her attention. He then proceeds to tell her about the dangers of diving into a pool with the depth of 5ft or less and asks her not to continue her antics. She is not pleased but decides it is best to follow the rules.

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A woman walked into the doctors office with a black eye. The doctor asked: How did you get that? The woman said: I fell.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This doesn't rhyme F*ck it

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was uneducated and was not aware of the dangers of streets in heavily populated cities.

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An Aussie, a Mexican and an Asian walk into a bra. You read that wrong.

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Why did the black man win the race Because he was faster than all the other contestants

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The grass is always greener on the side that uses manure and fertilizer daily.

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Ah, sorry for my failed attempt at being a witty. Yes, it has been a long day, or so the saying goes.

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a duck walks in to a Chinese restaurant and they cut his head off

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Q:the is a mexican and a black guy in the car who id driving? A:the cop

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What do you say to a man, who calls you 3 AM? - "Hello!"

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Hi, this is luke. Luke, I am your father. I burned my father's body after he died saving my life on a large space station. You're not my father, stop calling.

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Twisty Snake bite: Doctors office. Patient: Err Doc, a snake bit me in the err, private area... Doctor: I must suck out the poison immediately! Patient: What? Man! Are you sick? How do I even know if the snake was poisonous? Besides they only do that crap in bad jokes! Doctor: Yeah but this is an anti joke so drop em! Later at home: Wife: So did the Doctor help you dear? Patient: Worst doctor ever, he really sucked!

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Roger D. ASS , stops, has a ponder , and walks out of a s.t.i clinic ,without being seen

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Knock Knock Who's there? Just open the damn door.

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If you have 5 bucks and Chuck Norris has 5 buck you both have 5 bucks

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why cant sophie lifeguard safely because she cant swim that good

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Why is NO ONE on Facebook when I AM?! Because you have no friends... on Facebook... ... Wow.

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What is stupid? I would say you but these jokes are worse.

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What's the difference between a baby and an egg? One is fun to throw at houses and the other is an egg.

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Why do showers in Germany have 11 holes? Because a regular human on has 10 fingers.

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whats big and green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? a snooker table

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What did the husband tell his obese wife? I love you honey

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops