One day, I was talking to a lamp on the phone, when I realized I had called the wrong lamp.

What happened when the ugly girl asked her crush out on a date? He said yes. He found her personality quite attractive

A girl that had Malaria couldn't play with her friends, whys this? She died.

What's little and very sad? A 5-year old locked in a cage.

What happens in the end of the original "Pinocchio" Italian fairy tale? He is hanged.

How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? Two, one to change it and the other to hold the ladder so the first man won't fall and hurt himself.

What happened to those who survived the attack on Hiroshima? They were killed in Nagasaki

Roses are Red Violets are Blue Cajuns love drinking And drowning too

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

whats worse than god meaner than the devil. the poor have it the rich need it nothing

Why did the cat cross the road? he wanted to be a docter.

How do you get a baby to be quiet? Put it in the oven for a few minutes

How many perverts does it take to screw a lightbulb?

Q: How do you confuse a blonde. A: Put her in a circular room and tell her to pee in the corner. Q: How does a blonde confuse you? A: She says she's done.

"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "No."

Where was susie after the explosion? Everywhere

A blind 1st grader is doing math. He can't figure out a problem so he asks his mom to help, his mom then ask "Why don't you just count by your fingers?" the little boy then said "MOM! I'm blind I can't see!" his mom replys "then how do you see your homework?" the boys replys "I opened my eyes, now help me"

If David has 40 chocolate bars and eats 35 what does David have now? Diabetes, David has diabetes.

what doesn't kill you makes you crippled for life because you lost use of your legs in a tragic car accident

"Aids" "What?" "Yup, you just got aids­­­."

Knock knock. Whos there Time to get a watch

Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

My childhood friend said she had a bad breakup with her husband (yeah husband), and that she needed a really stiff one. Come on! How was I supposed to know she was talking about alcohol! She did blush and smile after I pulled my pants down however, that`s like seven out of ten right? I mean I was just trying to help a friend out right? And myself, fine myself, but it will be a total win/win situation, you know... Those where you win twice? "Dont worry, Im not comming" *pewpew*

What did the cop say to the man arrested for speeding? You were going over the speed limit sir, I'm going to have to give you a ticket for that.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...