yo mama is so fat, she should seriously consider gastric bypass surgery, morbid obesity is extremely detrimental to one's health

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How many people does it take to change a lightbulb? It depends on if the person has a lightbulb of the correct size and wattage...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between jelly and jam? You can't jelly my dick down your throat.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you keep an idiot busy? Why would you wanna keep an idiot busy, it's not gonna make a difference...

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the difference between a mouse and a dinosaur? A lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Whats the difference between a jewish man wearing a fedora and glass of almond milk? Ones a glass of almond milk.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

On a scale of Voldemort to Nigel Thornberry, how large is your nose?

thumb_up thumb_down +101

What's the problem with blonde people? They don't have black hair.

thumb_up thumb_down -96

Q: What do you call an elephant between two buildings? A: An elephant between two buildings, and the question of how the elephant got there

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why are fish bad at basketball? Because they're afraid of the net...

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the chicken cross the road? The bold and unpredictable female bird escaped under the horror of the fearful fence of which enclosed the innocent chickens. As she wandered towards the nearby city of magic and dreams she approached by a large, empty road. A mysterious, shining object in the distant caught her eye. As she slowly to a shivering step towards the intereging sparkle, she was ran over by a car. EPIC FAIL LOL!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

So a horse walks into a bar, animal service is called and after being unable to locate the owner he is put down.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A black man is seen next to a dead man. Who do you call? The ambulance.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven three twelve. Am i doing it right?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I like playing in the balls. I like balls.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did lady gaga call her grandpa? papaw razi. even wrote a song about him.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do Jay Williams, Lebron James, Candace Parker and Maya Moore have in common? They were all winners of the Morgan Wootten Player of the Year Award.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the baby cross the road? I don't know but it got hit by a semi during.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

What's the difference between and Jew and pizza?!?!?! Jews are people and pizza is a food product :D

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did Rebecka black say on Thursday? Today is thursday.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walks in to a bar, wakes up the next morning with the news that they have found a cancerous tumor in his neck.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the apple say to the other apple? Nothing, apples are fruits and cannot talk

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's a tissue's favorite kind of music? Nothing, tissue's do not have ear canals or ear drums and there for cannot hear any type of sound wave.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what did the turkey say on thanks giving? Nothing, he's dead, we ate him!

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops