Sometimes I fantasize about having sexual relations with Oprah Winfrey. Sometimes I don't.

why did the circus boy not do his homework? because he was in a coma.

Guess what happened when a man took off his jumper?? He became cold!

How much does Michael Vick love his dogs? More than Casey Anthony loved her daughter.

Why do all black men carry guns? They don't. That is a stereotype. Now pants on the other hand, that's a different story.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens have no sense of direction, he might have thought he was in wal-mart for all I care.

Whats worst then getting a paper cut. Being stabbed by a screw driver.

A man walks into a bar... He has a severe drinking problem, and his wife weeps for him

Roses are red, Violets are blue, STDs are contagious. Careful who you screw!

A homeless guy was walking along the beach when all of a sudden he see's what looked like to be magic genie's lamp so he pick the lamp up whipes it off then sells it for black tar herion.

What did the strawberry say to the strawberry? Nothing because strawberries are fruit and can't talk

Hi

WHY DID THE MAN FART HE WAS A FARTY PANTS AND WE CAN CHAT HERE ON THIS WEB GO TO ANTI JOKE SEE ME I WILL GIVE U JOKES

What do you get if your mailman drops your letter in black paint? Blackmail

There once was a man from Peru, who dreamed he swallowed his shoe. But it turns out his dream was real, and he died because he could not digest a whole shoe.

What did the grape do after it was stepped on? Nothing, as it was incapacitated, and even under normal circumstances, it would be incapable of performing any voluntary actions as it is only a grape.

Roses are der, Violets are lube, I am dyslexic.

I went to the doctor and explained to him, "My penis fell off." The doctor gives me an odd look, and then chops his off to make me feel better.

Looks through the peephole.

How do you kill a black person? Make them skydive 10,000 feet in the air without a parachute

your face

I am the best i am the worst My wife was buried in hearse

Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because they taste funny.

Why was the man with cancer bald? He wanted to tan his scalp.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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