What did the cop say to his belly? "Hey in there!"

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What do you call a goose with no arms? A goose

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What does the English major do? Write anti-jokes because he has no job

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Why was the math book crying? Three men just brutally raped his wife.

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A duck walks into a grocery store. He looks at the shopkeeper, who then grabs a broom and shoos him back outdoors.

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Why was little Tommy scared? Because he'd just been abducted by a psychopathic rapist.

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What is brown and green and goes 100 mph? A tree falling down on your house.

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Q: What do you call a blonde that just bought a new car? A: Carol

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to a chicken

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What did the man with Tourette's say to the other man? Surely something he did not mean to say.

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Why is Osama Bin Laden scared of the dark? To be honest, I don't know, and I doubt you do either. Osama Bin Laden has been a fugitive on America's Top Ten Most Wanted list for over 10 years; there is no way that you could possibly know such personal information about him if the United States government can't even locate him and prosecute him for the heinous crimes he committed against the U.S. Don't ever lie to me again.

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Oh, I must be hearing things.

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A comedian walks onto the stage. Antehumor.

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I'm a necrophiliac. Keep watch over your dead friends... ;)

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What did the virgin say to the car salesmen? Hello, I'm really interested in buying a car today.

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what do you get when a penguin has a heart atack pengatack

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Mam: Wanna hear a joke about my penis?... nevermind, it's to long. Woman: wanna hear a joke about my vagina?... nevermind, u wouldn't get it.

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Chris is hairy

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Q: What did the chinese guy say to his friend? A: ??

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Q:How did the blonde commit suicide? A: She didn't, she sought help and was able to live a very happy life with a beautiful family in a nice suburb outside of Cincinnati.

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Person 1 What's good? Person 2 Your mom's love making

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Your gay

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mike:what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas tom:cancer ahahahaha mike:he got a skateboard jerk nararrator: this skate board will be worth less because he has no legs

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Why was the little boy inside the house instead of playing with his friends outside? His dad just died from cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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