Your momma is so fat that she is on a diet and exercises regularly.

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how do you get a cat out of a tree? -call the fire department

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Whats red and smells like cherries? Cherries

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What's fat and ugly? Your face ... But only if its fat and ugly

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What do you call bad anti-jokes? Suckish comedy What do you call suckish comedy? Bad anti-jokes

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How do you confuse a black man? Paint him white.

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Q: Whats the difference between a watermelon and a infants head? A: One is fun to beat a with a hammer, and the other is the infants head.

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Why did the irishman go to the bar? because he was a designated driver and was picking up his friend.

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roses are red violets are red i smell my wife nows shes dead

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A dyslexic woman goes into a saloon and asks for a hair cut. Oh right, she doesn't have hair! Then why the f*** would she enter the saloon? Because she wanted to get her nails done. But she doesn't have nails either, and she doesn't want to drink. She came there because she wanted to hook up with a guy!

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A white guy, a black guy, an Indian guy, and a Jewish guy walk into a bar. They drink in moderation and discuss their children, the current state of the economy, and global politics before retiring home to their families.

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What's worse than a School Bus accident? The Holocaust.

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Why did the Israeli military stop the helicopter raids to Gaza? They didn't. They continue them until there is nobody left.

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Why did the used car salesman stop selling cars? He got fired.

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Womans profesional lacrosse

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What do you call a pig standing on its back legs? Yo mama

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A muslim gets on a plane. He is then flown to his destination.

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A jewish man, a black man, and a redhead walk into an electronics store. Because they work there.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because it had no arms. Why did Little Timmy fall off of his bike? Because he was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator. Knock knock Who's there? Not Little Timmy.

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42

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Why didn't Timothy wish his dad a Happy Father's Day? His dad died yesterday in a car accident.

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What jew get for christmas? Your money.

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What happened when Dave tried to break the record for most marshmallows in the mouth at once? He choked and died.

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nine...eleven

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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