An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman went in a hot air balloon and had a magical afternoon that none of them will ever forget, except the Scotsman because he fell out during take off and is now in a coma.

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the WNBA

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A man walks into a bar and gets drink

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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I can't hear music. I am a sentence.

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A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim are on a plane to France. When they arrive in Paris one will go visit a friend who recently found inspiration in the many magical streets of the city and is in the middle of a year abroad. Another will search for a job and home to support himself and any future family that he might choose to have in the future. The last will check into a hotel and proceed to have a wonderful time seeing all the sights that Paris has to offer.

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I stabbed a person. No seriously, I just stabbed them. There's no punchline. Just Just Stab wounds.

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What did the homeless black guy write on his sign? need money for weed.

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Why was the pizza mad? Because he was going thorough a growth spurt and the testosterone got to him.

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Hot Lady: What do you do for a living? Guy: Phosphorus, Oxygen, and Radon. Hot Lady: So you are a chemist? Guy: Think again! Think about Acronyms... Hot Lady: OPRa, so Opera correct? Guy: (Obviously talking to a Blonde) P, O, Rn Hot Lady: So, you are a chemistry teacher! Guy: (Sighs to himself thinking how PORn relates to chemistry. Which it does in biochemistry, but he does not know that).

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why does a ginger have no friends? Because it is a non sentient horizontal stem and thus incapable of forming complex social and emotional bonds with conscious organisms.

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What's not funny? Today's anti-joke writers

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut

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roses are red violets are blue i'm a schizophrenic and so am i

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Q: Whats funnier than Ryan Vallee? A: The death of your family -RDV

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Two cannibals are eating a clown one turns to the other and asks "does this taste funny to you?" The other cannibal says " yeah because the clown has been dead for weeks."

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Why did the student fail his test? Because he has AIDS darragh hamilton

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Little Timmy walks up to the teacher during class and asks "Can i use the restroom?" The teacher says "I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy says "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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A man walks into a bar hes later assassinated and mourned by his family.

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guess what? chicken butt.

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How many black guys does it take to change a lightbulb? None can, since noone can work together because they cant see eachother.

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Nicholas Salek did not write the message below. It was a joke one of his mates played!!

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How did the the the police know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head & shoulders in the glove compartment.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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