A man walks into a bar. He then proceeds to get severe concussion, goes to hospital and dies three days later after suffering multiple brain haemorrhages.

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What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handlebars...except for the duck

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Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- *Commits Suicide*

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Why did Justin Bieber cross the road? Because the chicken chose him as a decoy.

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What's worse than ten dead babies? Not much.

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Why black people are so good at football? Because they have white feet.

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Why did the bus crash? The driver was a loaf of bread.

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My parents died!

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So, Helen Keller walked into a bar....and then a stool, and then a counter, and then a table....

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A seal walks into a club.

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cerleb i wrote the one about melons!

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What did the cow say to the farmer? 'Moo.'

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Why was the school girl called a dork. Because a whale penis is called a dork, and she identically resembles a giant aquatic dick.

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9/11

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Robocop The Reboot reboot. Watch as The friendly robot named Murphy, is violently broken down by a horrible shower of water, the only means to save him is to transfer his data into a human. He awakens again as Robofriendlydude (starring Adam Sandler) as a robot learns to love, learns to share, learns to dance with children in this years Reboot of the classic love comedy Robocop. PG-3 "So good I could only watch five seconds of it" Rotten potatoes. 99 percent fresh. "Kill me with a chainsaw" Honest reviews. "AWESOME!" Dishonest reviews "Makes Twilight seem like the better lovestory" Everyone.

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Cat got your tongue? Punch it in the face, and retrieve your tongue.

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Your mama's so fat that we couldn't catch the cancer early and it gave her crippling weight problem. I'm so sorry.

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What's the difference between a white man and a black man? Nothing. They are both created in God's image and likeness so get your mind outta the gutter!

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A. Treadmil

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What's the difference between me and an animal? I'm human

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust Whats worse than the holocaust? getting raped by a giant scorpion What's worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? getting raped by your seventh grade math teacher, Mr. Smith What's worse than getting raped by your seventh grade math teacher Mr. Smith? Snapping your femur bone in half What's worse than snapping your femur bone in half? Birthing a dead baby

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knock knock who's there? al-Qaeda

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A fat man walked into a hot dog.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops