A very busty blond and a priest walk into a bar. The bartender asks with a smile, "What'll be today, pastor?" "Wine. please."

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penis

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why did the woman get electricuted? because there was an electric fence around the kitchen.

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Q. Why was the Asian boy crying A. Because i stabbed his family

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What do you call a dog with no legs? A dog.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A treadmill... did I mention he was kinda fat?

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why wouldn't the man's car work? because it was broken.

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a man walks into a bar he has a few drinks and announces to his friends that hes driving home, dave (one of his friends) tells him that its a bad idea and takes his keys off of him until the next day.

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Why did the bald man lose his hair no not cancer obviously AIDS.

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Hey, you know what would be funny? A joke.

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what's worse than than finding a worm up your ass? Death

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If a tree falls in the forest, but nothing is there to hear it, does it still make noise ? Yes, because whether the action of the three falling produces sound waves or not is not dependent on whether something is there to receive these waves.

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What did the apple say to the carrot? Nothing, apples don't talk

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Take sebastian deep into the woods and put him down quickly

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What's the difference between a live baby and a dead baby? A dead baby doesn't cry.

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Why should you never shower with a pokemon? Pokemon is a game for children. In doing so you would greatly disturb your child who is quite fond of pokemon

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*knock knock* Who's there? *Gorilla* Gorilla who? *Gorillas don't hoot, owls hoot*

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Two muffins are being baked in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "Man, it's starting to get really hot in here." The other muffin says, "MUFFINS CAN TALK?!"

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How did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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Yo mama so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through.

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Why did the cheeseburger have seeds on its buns? Because it wasn't a taco.

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Womens rights.

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Why didn't the man finish his dinner? His dinner was a wheelchair.

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A man is walking alone in a park and stumbles upon a lamp. He rubs the lamp and a genie appears out of thin air. The genie tells him he has three wishes to wish for whatever his heart desires. The man naturally wishes for Anthony Davis to shave his damn unibrow. He then throws the lamp at a little boys face and laughs uncontrollably.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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