Q:how do you make a rockstar cry? A: hit him with a breifcase

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was nailed to the chicken

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Skinny guy: Hey wanna hear a yo mama joke? Fat mother: Hey you wanna die?

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How can you tell you're in a childrens' ambulance from the inside? From the clown patterned body bags.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I chucked a shit and flushed the toilet.

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Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

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Why did Jimmy burn the American flag? He was Canadian.

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Why did the man jump off the cliff? Because he suffered from chronic depression as a result of frequent drug abuse.

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Where is the center of the universe? There is no center of the universe! According to the standard theories of cosmology, the universe started with a "Big Bang" about 14 thousand million years ago and has been expanding ever since. Yet there is no center to the expansion; it is the same everywhere. The Big Bang should not be visualised as an ordinary explosion. The universe is not expanding out from a center into space; rather, the whole universe is expanding and it is doing so equally at all places, as far as we can tell. In 1929 Edwin Hubble announced that he had measured the speed of galaxies at different distances from us, and had discovered that the farther they were, the faster they were receding. This might suggest that we are at the center of the expanding universe, but in fact if the universe is expanding uniformly according to Hubble's law, then it will appear to do so from any vantage point. If we see a galaxy B receding from us at 10,000 km/s, an alien in galaxy B will see our galaxy A receding from it at 10,000 km/s in the opposite direction. Another galaxy C twice as far away in the same direction as B will be seen by us as receding at 20,000 km/s. The alien will see it receding at 10,000 km/s:

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How did the fat man avoid getting dehydrated? Fat men don't excersise and therefore cannot become dehydrated.

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Why did the woman fall off her bike?? Because someone threw a fridge at her!!!!!!

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My mother's star sign was Cancer. Ironic how she died really. She was attacked by a giant crab.

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What do a pizza man and a gynecologist have in common? They are both hardworking members of the community!

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What's the color of the sky when an airplane takes off? Blue. What are you, stupid?

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what does the homeless man do when he gets home? nothing, he's homeless

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Q: what r u eating under there? A: underwear ewww thats nasty

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whats the diffrence 2 gay people and 1 gay person? A 1 person diffrence

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

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Whats worse than a bunch of teen-agers throwing kitrens at my house I didn't save them because I thought they were jehovahs witness's

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Why was the baby crying? He saw a nigga

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What's the difference between a convertible and a dead baby? One's in my garage, and one's a car.

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How many ears does Captain Kirk have? Two.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to

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did you see stevie wonder's new guitar no neither did he

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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