How do you make a mail man cry? Run him over with a forklift.

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What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean

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Whats an Anti-joke?? A joke that possesses the kind of humor based on the surprise factor of absence of an expected joke or of a punch line in a narration which is set up as a joke.

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ok, so a blue flower in a meadow dances valiantly, while being watched by a chipmunk. the king of the sky fairies ate an apple and a chicken and a pear, and a cumkwuat and frog legs and a bone and a library and a jeep and fig and a rhino and a sword but fairies don't have that big of mouths to eat all of that, so this never happened

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What did the boy say to the elders at the senior center? Dayum, you're all ugly!

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why did ryan go to bed? because he is a growing boy and need it to keep in line for his study's i lied about him sleeping hes dead he was abducted

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Knock knock Who's there Orange Orange who Orange

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What's red and smells like blood? Blood.

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Why did the boy die? He got shot in the face repeatedly.

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You:Knock knock friend:who's there you:come in friend come on who you:come in your mother

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what did the black man eat for dinner? whatever his wife makes for him to eat

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? As much as he wants to.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Not having an apple, reguardless of its inhabitants.

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What do you call a black man with a job? An employee

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What happens when you cross a starfish with a dog? Dogs and chickens are from a different phylum, they are genetically incompatible.

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23 convicts were showering. One of them dropping his soap bar. The person next to him picked it up, and the one who dropped it said thanks.

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What should you do if a stranger picks you up? Politely request that he put you down.

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What do you call a young child being beating to death with a spiked club? Arousing.

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Whats the difference between a black guy and a bucket of shit? A black man is a life form, more specifically a homosapian, while the bucket, as well as the shit, is an inanimate object.

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Who kills babies? A baby killer? No. I do.

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A man trips on an old bottle. He picks it up and out pops a genie. "I will grant you three wishes!" says the genie. "Whatever you so desire is my com--" "I'm already late for a meeting!" shouts the man. He drops the bottle and continues on.

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If you're paddling upstream in a canoe and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes fit in a doghouse? None! Ice cream doesn't have bones!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have cancer Nutella on muffin

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Have you seen Steve Wonder's house? No. It's okay, neither has he.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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