What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being the worm.

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knock knock get lost!

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What do you call a frog with a bow tie? Cute!

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afbn;fjnf;ajnvaf;djvnadf;vvjkfvnfvjalnvjkfvnaeljvknfljkvndfsljvnadfjvndflvkadjnfvldjfnvlakdjfnvldfjnvaldfjkvndfjkvandfvjlkdfnvaldkjvndlfjvandflvdjnvadljfnvdlfjvnadflvjdnfvladjnvdlkfjvnadlfjvndaflvjakdnflvjdakfnvalfdknvljdnflvjdanlfjvnadflvjandfvljkfndvladjkfnvldajfknvalherluhwprgqehgpquetryhpqwiourpqoitqyert9134857wieosdfljkealdfjkgfrgjuy0qo48wriehflqgetarkgjfhjkljgbflgjbfgjbflsdjfbgbkglirueerhigqehgluqeht3qt9384yt19834ty308748574785uifhsldhfljaghlkjfghfldkjaghlkfjdhaglkjhdglkjhfdgioerqoertueroiuytqeuirytqerouityqerotuiyertiuytqoiuerhajvnasdnjkvalfn I stopped reading too.

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Why did the black man drown? Because he grew up in a poor neighborhood, where no one had a pool, and so he never learned how to swim

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Whats big white and can't climb trees? A Fridge. Whats red and bad for your teeth? A Brick.

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Why did the blonde walk into the wall? I lied it was nathaniel nugnes

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What happens when u poke a ghost that is standing on the edge of a building? Ghost aren't real so therefor u will fall of the edge and die

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There was a man driving his truck down a dark road, half way down the road he see's a man walking alone. He stops beside him, winds down his window and says "Oi mate, need a lift"? The man replies "yeah sure, but can i sleep in the back of the truck"? The driver replies "Yeah sure" later on as the man is sleeping he hears a big bang. "what was that" the man asks. The driver says "Don't worry i just hit a cow, go back to sleep". time goes by and he hears another bang. "W-what was that". "Don't worry i just hit a moose, go back to sleep and ill wake you when we arrive". Few moments latter he hears a tick tick bang. He gets up and yells "What was that"? The driver replies "Dont worry mate i just hit a aboriginal" The man replies "What was those two ticks before that"?. The driver says "I had to drive through two fences to hit the bastard"

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Q: What's soft, fuzzy, and lives in the woods? A: Yeti

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How do you start a Mexican parade? Close off the streets you plan to have the parade on, and be sure to have a decent amount of floats and marching bands.

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What's brown, sticky, green, yellow, and orange that rides a unicycle? I have no clue, that's why I asked.

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sdrawkcab ekoj siht tleps I whether you like it or not

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Two penguins were taking a bath. One said "pass the soap." The second penguin replied, "What do you think I am, a typewriter?"

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A lost young boy walks into a bar to ask for a map. The Bartender takes him into a room and rapes him.

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matt f stupid because no one likes him

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What's better than sex? I have never had sex and, therefor, do not have adequate knowledge of the experience enough to make a comparison to other experiences. You should ask someone who has had sex.

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A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee and a 1 lb. package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, “You must be single.” The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict’s intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said “Well, you know what, you’re absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?” The drunk replied, “Cause you’re ugly.”

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Where did the Jew put his money? In a low rist, interest bearing mutual fund.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it got out of its cage, was running away from its owner, and crossing a busy street seemed like the most effective way to gain freedom.

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What did one dog say to the other dog? Nobody knows as humans are unable to understand the way dogs communicate.

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A polar bear walks into a bar, sits down, and says, "Can I have a.........................beer?" The bartender asks, "Why the large pause?" The bear responds, "I have a speech impediment"

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How do you get a black guy to learn how to read? Find a stolen book and tell them that it's the recipe for the spices in fried chicken.

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Why did the little boy grow up to be a homosexual man? He didn't find the female reproductive system sexually appealing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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