What did 4 Year Old Jonny get for his birthday? Death.

What do you call a barn full of black people? antique farm equipment.

A tightly dressed woman walks up to a man and asks if he wants a good time they go out for dinner and have a lot in common and agree to meet again in the near future

Whats worse than pulling down a girls pants and seeing a giant furry bush... finding out her vagina has teeth in it.

A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

One fish... Two fish... Red fish... I have AIDs

what did the little girl with no legs and no arms get for christmas? Cancer

What's good? Anything that is not bad.

What is black and gray? This rectangle and this text.

What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

whats worse than a worm in a rotten apple? 2 worms in a rotten apple. whats worse than 2 worms in a rotten apple? 3 worms in a rotten apple. whats worse than 3 worms in a rotten apple? the haulocaust. whats worse than the haulocaust? 4 worms in a rotten apple. wait wait...that was rascist,nevermind this joke.

Gordon Brown smiles.

What did the innocent little girl get for Christmas? Lymphoma.

Tim: Jason, your dumb Jason: No I'm not.

I hope your not allergic to bees Because your about to be attacked by a live tiger.

whats worse than your little sster being raped? her being raped by your father.

Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

What does a dishwasher and the holocaust have in common? Not much.

An atheist sneezed. Everyone around him said "god bless you". He thanked them and continued on with his normal day because it wasn't really that big of a deal to him.

Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius!

Why was the boy sad he ate a loaf of bread? Because ducks ate him alive after that.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your carmel apple, which costs about 35 cents more on average.

What did Steven Hawking get for christmas? A bike.

once upon a time jess was happy this once upon a time was a very long time ago, BABADOOK !

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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