What did the homeless man get for his birthday? AIDS

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You know that feeling you get when you see your crush walking towards you? No, I'm blind.

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what did the oven say to the firdge you hot baby

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When is a door not a door? When your house burns down.

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shook hands with Marty ,talked about politics, then walked away.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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What's Brown and Sticky? A stick.

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what do you get when you cross a rhino and a chicken? well, if you're unlucky and too close too the chicken, salmonella if you provoke the rhino, impaled

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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Why couldn't Prince William go to the party? Because his WIFE bought tickets to the f**cking ballet.

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Q: Whats pointy and sharp and rhymes with life? A: A spear. It's close enough.

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How did the drug addict die? He got shot in a drive-by.

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Jack just got his new yellow bicycle. His dad got it for his 12th anniversary. Jack was ecstatic to ride it down his street for the first time. He immediately called his friends Paul and Erick and went for his first ride. The neighbors were in AWE when they saw Jack taking off on his new ride. That day the three friends had one of the best day of their young lives, they went up to the lake, had some peanut ice cream and made fun of Alexia. Jack was in love with his new bike and euphoric that they were reunited and did all their favorite things with an incredible amount of passion. Erick hated his new bike.

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Punching a baby

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What did Frankenstein say to Dracula? Hey, that's a nice cape.

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What did one tampon say to another? Nothing they were both stuck up.

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Guy A turns to Guy B and says, 'Hey, can I use your cellphone to call my mom?" Guy B nods and says, "Yeah, sure, just press redial." Guy B had been planning an surprise party for Guy A and had called Guy A's mother for ideas.

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What did Batman say to Robin before going into the Batmobile? Get in the car.

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Your existance.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Yo mamma's so stupid, she dropped out of college.

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My life

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Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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