Optimus Prime: "GIVE ME YOUR FACE!" Shockwave: "Illogical. I have no face." Optimus Prime: "Then GIVE ME YOUR EYE!" *RIPP*

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Technically I did not try to, but I made you believe I tried in vain, so your subconcious is unable to register that it is under a state of trance, you could deny it, but you are in a state of trance right now. So how big are your breasts?

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Why was Sally crying? Because she had a frog stapled to her face.

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Dad: hi son Kid: (looks sad and looks at the ground) Dad: what's wrong son. Kid:I raped a girl. Dad:Who? Did you rape son! Kid:mom.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychological disorder.

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What is black and blue and red all over? Rihanna

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Michael Jackson will always be remembered for touching...the hearts of many.

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is your refrigerator running? yeah oh, ok. just making sure your food doesn't spoil

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What do you call a man who's arms have been amputated? It doesn't matter, he won't be able to pick up the phone.

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Why did the homeless man not get any ice cream from the store? Because he was not very bright and didn't try in school. Therefore he couldn't find a job or get his job back at the janitor at Go-Mart. This proves that not doing your school work correct can really effect your future. Plus they was sold out of chocolate.

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Q: What did the hobo get for his birthday? A: Older.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it was diagnosed with cancer and didn't want to live any more

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- What has 2 legs and is bleeding ? - A dog cut in two.

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Hickory Dickory Dock Three mice ran up a clock The cluck struck one But the two other got away with minor injuries

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Q: how do you drown a blond A: put a mirror at the bottom of a pool

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What's green and blue that is shaped like the earth? The earth

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Why did the chicken kill itself? To get to the other side.

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If 1+1=2, then you must have passed first grade arithmetic.

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Wanna know how to confuse a black guy? Give him a fried chicken sandwich with mayo on it.

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm a dog.

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Why did the burglar get arrested? For beating an egg

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knock knock who's there? Madeline McCann really? no

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What do you get when you mix red and blue? Gang violence.

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Whats the difference between a monkey and another monkey? I dont know google it!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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