Why do Chinese people have flat faces? Air bags.

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Doctor everybody that I stare at seems to die moments later! Uh, why are you looking at me so intensely... >:)

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm not good at poems, nice tits.

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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer? This would be unlikely to happen, as it would cut the story short.

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What do you call somebody pimping out their bitches for very large amounts of money???? A dog breeder.

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What's long hard and full of seamen? A boat, or possibly a submarine.

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Why was the ghast from minecraft crying? His family died

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What do you call a smart blond? There aren't any so there shouldn't be a name for it.

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What's 50 feet tall, wears glasses and plays dungeons and dragons. A nerd, I lied about the 50 feet part.

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. The muffins do not talk or move, because they not living.

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What is funny? Your football official having a heart attack

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Where does Hemech take a shit? The toilet's ass

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road A. Because he needed to get to the other side

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What's a black person's favorite thing to eat? Food.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because his work office was there and if he had not crossed, he would have had to get back in his car and parked in the company parking space therefore taking more time and costing a small but significant amount of money

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How does Helen Keller do her taxes? Unfortunately, she doesn't. Most of her friends have encouraged her to contact the IRS about this to see if she can start a repayment plan for her back-taxes or obtain some sort of federal assistance. Otherwise, Ms. Keller is likely to suffer serious legal consequences.

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What did the coach do to the player Coached the player

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If you are swimming in a tree how many dogs does it take to crack a duck? The answer is 4 because nothing rhymes with orange

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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Obama One Big Ass Mistake America

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What does Megatron say when a video game takes forever to load? "You have failed me yet again, Start Screen!"

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Does it really matter?

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Why did the mexican cross the road....... To find work so he can support his starving family

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What do you call the worst band ever? Nickelback.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops